“I’m just saying you need to get out of here. Go experience the real world,” Jack said as he juggled a couple of Daniel’s artifacts.

“I’ve experienced the real world,” Daniel replied as he grabbed his artifacts from midair. “And I would thank you not to juggle my artifacts.”

“They’re rocks, Daniel,” Jack replied dryly. “And being in your office 24/7, reading some boring dead language which was written by some boring dead men about some boring harvest of wheat… well it’s boring. You need to get out of here and have some fun. Come over to my place. We’ll watch a horror movie, order a pizza and have some fun. Come on Daniel, its Halloween. All the good horror movies are playing. Nightmare on Elm Street. Halloween. Friday the 13th.”

Daniel shook his head as he placed his artifacts back where they belonged. “Unfortunately I haven’t finished translating the writing SG-4 found in the ruins on P26-9772 and I really need to get it done.”

“It can wait until tomorrow, Daniel,” Jack picked up a different artifact. “Tonight is Halloween. The one night of the year where you get to stuff you face with candy while watching a horror movie marathon. Besides the writing probably says something like for a good time call Bambi or stay off the grass.”

Daniel shook his head as he once again grabbed the artifact out of Jack’s hands. “There are more important things in the world than candy and horror movies.”

“There’s fishing and hockey,” Jack gave him a cheeky grin.

Daniel rolled his eyes at he’s friend’s comment before sitting down at his desk. “Never the less I need to finish the translations,” he returning his attention to his work. “Why don’t you see if Teal’c will come? I’m sure he’ll be interested in watching horror movies…”

A sudden heavy thump interrupted the rest of what Daniel intended to say. Daniel’s head snapped up at the sound, his eyes immediately honed onto the space he had last seen his friend in.

“Jack?” Daniel looked around for Jack.

“Jack?” Daniel called once again as he slowly rose to his feet. “Jack!” he exclaimed when he saw what was on the floor beyond his desk.

Jack lay on his office floor, eyes open but staring up at nothing.

Daniel seemed to teleport himself from behind his desk to Jack’s side. “Jack, this better not be some prank to make me watch movies with you,” Daniel quickly started checking Jack over using some of the first aid skills he’s picked up over the years of being on SG-1.

“I need some help here!” Daniel shouted towards his open office door. “Someone help!”

In the two hours that had passed since Jack’s collapse in Daniel’s office and his being taken to the infirmary, his friends and co-workers had gathered only to be barred from the infirmary.

During the wait Teal’c had settled into kel’no’reem while Carter questioned Daniel about what happened to Jack.

“No! I told you there was no flash of light, no sound… no nothing,” Daniel ran his hand through his hair in frustration; frustration because Carter kept asking him the same questions over and over again but in different way, frustration from what was wrong with Jack and not knowing how he was doing. “Jack was being his usual self. He was trying to convince me to come to his house for Halloween, to watch horror movies. I told him I couldn’t. I took some of my artifacts that he’d decided to juggle away and told him to ask Teal’c instead. The next thing I knew he was lying on the floor, his eyes open. When I checked him over everything seemed to be ok except as Jack would say, the porch lights were on but no one was home.”

“What artifacts was O’Neill handling before his collapse?” Teal’c asked having finished his kel’no’reem.

“Huh?” Daniel said in surprise before recovering. “They were some figurines of Egyptian gods that I found in a market in Cairo. I haven’t been able to discover where they came from but I know they’re not the source of whatever happened to Jack. He plays with them practically every time he comes into my office.”

“We can’t ignore the possibility that might have something to do with the Colonel’s condition,” Carter stated her brow furrowed as she mentally reviewed what they knew. “I’ll need to collect the artifacts for testing.”

Before Daniel had the chance to reply General Hammond entered the waiting room. “Is there any word on Colonel O’Neill’s condition,” he asked.

“No, sir,” Carter replied with a shake of her head. “We were trying to see if we could figure out what triggered it in the first place while we were waiting for Dr Frasier to let us what is wrong with the Colonel and how long it will be before he’s back to normal. It’s possible that the Colonel’s condition is related to some artifacts in Dr. Jackson’s office that the Colonel had been handling before his collapse”

Daniel shook his head. “And as I told Sam, Jack plays with those artifacts all the time. If they were the source of Jack’s condition then why hasn’t it happened before or happened to me or someone else.”

“While those artifacts have not previously shown the ability to do this, it would be foolish of us to ignore the possibility that O’Neil might have accidentally triggered something within one of them,” Teal’c said. “Did not one of your world’s greatest detectives not say ‘when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth’?”

The other members of SG-1 and General Hammond looked at Teal’c in surprise.

“I didn’t know you read any of the Sherlock Holmes stories, Teal’c,” Daniel said.

“I have not yet read any of the books, I only know of Mr. Holmes from the BBC America show that O’Neill showed me several episodes of,” Teal’c replied.

“You haven’t read them!” Carter sputtered. “How... how could you not have read them!”

Teal’c raised a single eyebrow at Carter’s comment. “I am currently reading the works of Jules Verne.”

“Journey to the Center of the Earth was always one of my favorites,” Hammond commented.

“I too found the book most enjoyable,” Teal’c stated.

The door that led to the infirmary opened and Dr. Frasier entered; holding her clipboard to her chest. Everyone’s attention turn to the red haired doctor as all conversations abruptly ended.

Dr. Frasier looked at all the faces that were staring at her, then down at her clipboard. A weary sigh escaped her lips.

“Dr. Frasier?” General Hammond spoke up since the doctor hadn’t said anything yet.

Frasier look up at the General and then at everyone else. “As you know Colonel O’Neill was brought in non-responsive, but his respiration and pulse rate were normal. None of our tests indicate that he’s had a heart attack or stroke. The preliminary report on the Colonel’s blood work doesn’t show any indication of a virus or bacteria. His white count is normal. All the indications are that Colonel O’Neill is completely healthy.”

“But there is something,” General Hammond said. “Something you have told us yet.”

The doctor nodded her head. “The EEG test showed that the Colonel had no higher brain functions,” she told them.

“Isn’t that typical with coma patients,” Carter asked.

“It varies with coma patients. It really comes down to what cause the person to fall into a coma and how seriously injured the person is,” Frasier replied. “My concern that is that the Colonel is showing signs of being in a very deep coma but I can’t find any physical reason for it.”

“But Jack will wake up, right?” Daniel’s voice betrayed his concern. “I mean things like this have to happen every day.”

“If I knew what happened to the Colonel I would be better able to answer that,” Frasier replied. “Right now all we can do is wait.”

~*~

It was nearly 2 in the morning as the nurse made her rounds in the base infirmary; with the only noise coming from the machines monitoring their patients and the sound of footsteps as she moved from sleeping patient to patient.

Her eyes were on her clipboard as she read over the information; her steps were sure as she walked around the room with the confidence of knowing where everything was at in the room.

As she neared the bed on which Colonel O’Neill was ‘resting’ on she glanced away from the clipboard and came to a complete stop.

Sitting on the edge of the bed his legs hanging over the side was a wide awake Colonel O’Neill, who was groggily running a hand through his hair.

“Colonel O’Neil,” she called from where she stood a short distance away, knowing what could happen to someone who startled someone as well trained as the Colonel was. “Colonel?”

Colonel O’Neill looked over at her, a confused look on his face. “Yeah. Hi,” he said. “Ummm… what happened? Why am I here?”

“You collapsed, sir,” she told him as she walked over to press the emergency call button located near each bed. Setting her clipboard down on the bed, she took hold of the Colonel’s wrist in order to record his pulse rate.

“Collapsed?” Jack’s brow furrowed as he watched her jot down his pulse rate on her clipboard.

“Yes, sir,” she pulled out her blood pressure cuff and put it on his arm. “You’ve been unconscious for almost 8 hours.”

Before the Colonel could ask any more questions, Dr. Frasier walked into the infirmary. Her eyes widened as she spied the Colonel sitting up in bed, talking to one of her nurses. Her hand immediately grasped her pen light as she walked over to the bed.

“How are you feeling, Colonel?” she pointed the light into his eyes.

“Well I was feeling alright until you appeared with the penlight of doom,” Jack said.

Dr. Frasier lowered the penlight from where it shone in the Colonel’s eyes and gave him a look that would cause many battle hardened Marines to quake in their boots.

She then turned to the nurse. “I want a full check done on the good Colonel. Complete blood work.”

“Yes, ma’am. Will that include a prostate exam, ma’am,” The nurse asked in an innocent tone of voice as her eyes betrayed the mirth she was feeling.

“Yes. Yes, I believe it will,” Frasier replied with a grin on her face.

“Me and my big mouth,” Jack moaned.


~*~

In the morning, General Hammond walked to the infirmary upon hearing that the Colonel had awakened from whatever had happened to him. He found his second in command lying back on his bed, looking a little pale.

“Save me,” Jack begged as he spied his commander. “Please save me.”

“Jack,” Hammond’s voice showed his concern as he walked over to his friend.

Jack grabbed hold of Hammond’s arm when he was close enough. “You have to help me before she comes back.”

“Who comes back,” Hammond asked.

“Janet. I know I’ve said it before but it’s true. It’s really true. She’s a sadist!” Jack explained.

Hammond sighed warily. “Colonel,” he said in a disapproving tone. “I’m sure that the doctor is not that bad.”

Jack let out a little laugh that was tinged with a trace of hysteria. “12 vials of blood. MRI and CAT scans. Full physical.” Jack shivered. “Prostate exam. And she’s planning on doing more. Please, sir, you have to get me out of here.”

“Colonel,” Hammond said once again, in the same disapproving tone, “I’m sure that the good doctor is only doing what she has to figure out what caused you to collapse.”

Jack shook his head no. “No. No. She wants revenge against all my little cracks about the penlight of doom and her being a Napoleonic power monger

Hammond shook his head. “I’m sure the good doctor is above getting petty revenge for such harmless teasing.”

“You’re wrong,” Jack laid back into this bed, accepting his fate. “I probably should update my will since she’ll be the end of me.”

“I doubt that Colonel,” Dr Frasier walked over to his bed. “I’m sure I’ll be treating you for many years to come.”

Jack whimpered softly to which General Hammond gave the doctor a look that told her enough was enough. Janet nodded her head slightly to indicate that the message had been received.

Janet looked down at her clipboard before starting to report her findings. “So far we’ve not been able to find a reason for why he collapsed and slipped into a coma nor can we find a reason why he suddenly regained consciousness.”

Hammond nodded his head. “So we’re left with a mystery unless you know something Colonel?”

Jack shook his head. “No, sir, unless you believe in magic, vampires and demons.”

Dr Frasier and Hammond looked at the Colonel questioningly.

Jack sighed. “I dreamt of … I think I dreamt that I was in the body of a teenager in who was in a soldier’s uniform. And all around him were vampires, demons, princesses, pirates, superheroes… the list goes on. It was like all the costumes had come alive. As in horror movie came alive…but without the well-endowed blond who always runs toward the danger instead of away. But I did have a girl who seemed to be an escapee from one of those bad romance novels you see some women reading. Kept fainting at the drop of a hat,” he said. “Definitely a B rated movie.”

“Come on it will be fun! Teal’c’s going,” Jack flipped the steaks on the grill.

“No, Jack,” Daniel leaned against the rail of the porch drinking his beer.”

“It’s one afternoon, Daniel. Just one and then you can go back to your rocks,” Jack said.

“They’re artifacts, Jack,” Daniel said with a sigh. “And no I don’t want to go to the movies with you.”

“It’s Muppets from Space!” Jack exclaimed. “How could you not want to go?”

“Don’t you find them a tad juvenile? I’m mean they’re puppets,” Daniel replied.

“Bite your tongue! The Muppets are climatic masterpiece full of culture and wholesomeness,” Jack replied with a slight smirk.

“A closet Sam the Eagle fan, Jack?” Hammond said as from his chair as he watched Carter and Teal’c play a round of badminton.

“Only enough to remember to pull the stick out of my rear before it becomes permanent,” Jack replied. “When someone says something is right because it’s the American way, I realize that there’s probably a better way.”

“Kinsey,” Daniel chimed in.

“He’s Sam’s evil twin brother who has a bigger stick shoved so far up his rear you can see it when he talks,” Jack explained.

Hammond chuckled. “If Kinsey is Sam’s evil twin, who am I and everyone else.”

“Well… Daniel here would have to be Scooter. He has the same devious innocence,” Jack explained.

“I’m not devious!” Daniel exclaimed.

Hammond and Jack looked at Daniel for a moment before Daniel shrugged his shoulders and says, “Well I’m not that devious.”

“Who’s next?” Hammond asked. “Major Carter?”

“She’s a mix of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker with just a touch of Miss Piggy for those situations in which she has to kick ass,” Jack said after a moment of though. “Teal’c would be Rowlf the Dog.”

“Why him?” Daniel asked.

“Same sense of humor. Same down to Earth but not give up attitude. Which reminds me you could be Link Hogthrob,” Jack pointed the tongs at Daniel.

“Who?”

“The Captain in Pigs in Space. Their version of Captain Kirk. A girl in every port or should I say on every planet,” Jack said with a chuckle.

“Oh and who would you be, Jack?” Daniel growled playfully.

“The best character of them all,” Jack said with a smile. “The Swedish Chef.”

“What! Daniel exclaimed.

“What’s going on?” Carter asked as she and Teal’c stopped their game to see what the problem was.

“The good Colonel here was telling us which Muppet character we’re most like. Hammond explained. “He says you, Major Carter are most likely the love child of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker and Miss Piggy. And Teal’c is Rowlf the Dog; the Muppet that played the piano.”

Carter turned to the Jack with narrowed eyes. “And who exactly is the Colonel?” she asked in a sweet voice? “Kermit?”

“No. That’s the General,” Jack said with a smile. “Ring leader of all the insanity. I’m the Swedish Chef.”

Carter looked at Jack with a confused looked.

“And Dr Jackson is?” Teal’c asked.

“The love child of Scooter and Link Hogthrob, the Captain Kirk of Pigs in Space,” Hammond chuckled.

“Indeed,” Teal’c said with a slight nod of his head. “However I must disagree with the Colonel assentment of himself. I see the Colonel more as the offspring of the Swedish Chef, Crazy Harry and the character know as Animal. A true child of chaos and destruction.”

Jack looked at Teal’c before wiping his eyes. “Ah Teal’c, you say the nicest things.”

The corners of Teal’c mouth curved up slightly.

“Anyone wants another beer,” Jack asked after finishing off the one he had.

“I do,” Daniel said.

“Good,” Jack held out the tongs towards Daniel. “I’ll get the beer and you watch the food.”

“You just want to blame any burnt food on me,” Daniel grabbed the tongs.

“Would I do something like that?” Jack asked innocently.

“Yes!” everyone answered at once.

“Boy, you can sure feel the love,” Jack said with a chuckle.

“Just go get the beer, Jack,” Daniel rolled his eyes at this friend.

Still chuckling Jack walked into the kitchen and over to the refrigerator where he pulled out a number of bottles of Budweiser and placed them on the counter. As he was shutting the refrigerator door the phone rang.

Jack sighed in frustration as he grabbed the phone. “Hello?”

“Good afternoon, sir,” a bored male voice answered from the phone. “I’m Steve Jones calling for the Simkins Collection Agency. Can I please speak with Henry O’Neill?”

“No one lives here by that name?” Jack answered in the same bored tone his caller was using.

“Are you sure about that, sir?” the caller asked.

Jack gave the phone an unusual look. “Yeah I’m pretty sure I know who lives at my home.”

“Do you know how we can get a hold of Henry O’Neill?” the caller asked

“Never heard of the person before,” Jack told him

“Sir is this,” the caller rattled off a phone number.

“Yeah, that’s my number,” Jack replied with a bored and frustrated sigh.

“Sir, do you know that hiding people from a collection agency is a crime and if you don’t put Henry O’Neill on the phone we will have to involve the police,” the caller threatened.

“Kid,” Jack’s tone of voice became dark and threatening, “I’m a Colonel in the United States Air Force and I can very easily track down your place of employment, your home address and that of your loved ones and pay them a visit. Now do we really want that?”

“Ahhh, no sir,” the caller answered meekly

“Good,” Jack growled. “Then I suggest that you update Henry O’Neill’s record and list this number as being incorrect and not to call back. And if someone does call back from the Simkins Collection Agency, I’ll remember you, Steve Jones. Good day.”

A meek ‘Good day’ could be here from the phone as Jack hung up.

“I hate collection agencies,” Jack grumbled to himself a he gathered the beer bottles up.

It was at that moment there was a knock at the door. “Oh, for cryin’ out loud,” Jack exclaimed as he set the bottles back on the counter.

As Jack quickly made his way over to the front door, the person on the other side knocked again. “What!” he growled as he yanked the door open only to suddenly freeze at the sight of the person who had been knocking.

“From your expression, I take it that you remember me,” a young man with brown hair and eyes commented

Jack nodded his head. “Xander, right? That’s what ghost girl and cat woman called you.”

The young man nodded his head. “Xander Harris,” he held out his hand.

“Jack O’Neill,” Jack shook the young man’s hand. “So I take it you remember stuff?”

“Hey Jack, what’s taking so long,” Daniel suddenly appeared behind Jack. “Ummm… hi.” Daniel said as he noticed the young man in the doorway.

“Hi,” Xander said as he gave Daniel a small wave of his hand.

“Ummm… I didn’t realize that someone was at the door,” Daniel said.

Jack ran his hand through his greying hair. “Daniel this is Xander an old friend of mine.”

“Jack was more like a mentor to me,” Xander explained. “Since I was in town I figured I would pop by and say hi.”

“Oh well… ummm…. We’re having a barbeque right now. There’s plenty of food if you want to join us,” Daniel offered.

Xander shook his head. “No but thanks anyway.” He turned his attention back to Jack. “So I’m in town for a couple days. On the great American post grad trip… so if you want to talk…”

Jack nodded his head. “Where you staying?”

“Someplace cheap,” Xander answered. “Know of any place?”

“The Sleep Inn near the Academy,” Jack answered. “It’s clean, decent and cheap. A lot of parents of cadets stay there when they come for a visit. It’s not a five star place but…”

“I’ve slept in worse places. Namely my parent’s house. Thanks,” Xander said with a nod of his head before turning and walking away.

“I’ll leave a message there when we can get together,” Jack called out to the retreating figure.

“Right,” Xander answered with a wave of his hand.

“You never mentioned him before,” Daniel said as Jack shut the door.

“Yeah… well… I never really expected to see him again,” Jack said softly.

“So how did you meet?” Daniel asked.

“I kind of met him a couple Halloween ago,” Jack said as he started towards the kitchen and his friends.

The End


Before anyone starts to complain about how there should be more the whole point of this story was the effect of the spell had on someone who had their consciousness ripped from them and placed in somebody in Sunnydale and how that affects everyone else around them.

There may be a sequel someday. There may not be. It’s up to my Muse to decide. If you want to play in this universe please let me know first.