Sam, I'm Back! by kirallie

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Chapter 10

Sam ran his fingers through Dean’s hair as his brother slept, hoping he’d sleep without nightmares. Whatever their little make out session had made Dean remember hadn’t been good so Sam was scared he’d relive it in his sleep. So Sam was going to stay awake and help Dean the way Dean had been helping Sam the whole time since he’d gotten out of hell. Sure enough half an hour later Dean began moving restlessly in his sleep, mumbling incoherently.

“Shh…..Dean okay……I got you.” Sam whispered, rubbing Dean’s back and Dean moaned in pain making Sam choke back a sob. He had to be strong for Dean, no matter what his own problems were. Sam twisted around, curling himself around Dean to protect him from the world even as he nuzzled the back of Dean’s neck and whispered to him. After a while Dean settled again and Sam relaxed a little, smiling softly when blue eyes fluttered open. Dean tensed but then relaxed as he recognised Sam leaning over him.

“Sammy.” He murmured and Sam smiled, kissing him.

“Okay?” Sam asked and Dean nodded.
“Nightmares.” Sam said and Dean frowned.

“Sammy it’s okay. Why didn’t you wake me?” Dean asked and Sam frowned before seeming to realise something, shaking his head.

“No me. You.” Sam said and Dean frowned, shivering a little.
“Okay Dean.” Sam told him, hugging him and Dean moved so they were face to face, wrapping his arms around Sam.

“Did I wake you?” Dean asked guiltily but Sam shook his head, smiling proudly.

“Stay up, help Dean like….” Sam hit the bed in frustration and Dean grabbed his hand, rubbing it to soothe him.
“Dean help me. M…I help Dean.” Sam got out and Dean nodded, pulling Sam even closer, kissing him softly. Sam smiled and snuggled into his embrace.

“So we help each other kiddo?” Dean asked and Sam nodded.
“Okay. Just…..just don’t let me hurt you.” Dean pleaded softly and Sam just smiled at him. Dean chuckled and ran his fingers through Sam’s hair.
“Bitch.”

“Jerk.” Sam answered.

``````````````````````````````````````````````
Bobby smiled as he saw Sam curled up, reading on his couch. If he ignored the weight Sam had lost and then extra length to his hair the scene could come from any of the times in the past when the boys had stayed with him. Sam looked up at him and smiled. Bobby smiled back and grabbed the plate of sandwiches he’d made up, placing it on the low table in front of Sam. Sam rolled his eyes but took one, eating slowly.

“How’re you feeling?” Bobby asked and Sam shrugged.
“Is….what happened with Dean, is everything okay?” Bobby asked and Sam looked up at him.

“Dean never hurt me. Never!” Sam yelled and Bobby backed off, raising his hands.

“Sam calm down. I didn’t say he would hurt you. I just wanted to make sure things are okay. That you’re both dealing with what happened.” Bobby assured him and Sam stared at him.
“I know Dean would never knowingly hurt you Sam. I just……he didn’t know who we were for a bit last night and he could have hurt you then. He nearly did and he can’t be handling that well. Dean rips himself up over you stubbing your toe! Seeing himself trying to choke you….he can’t be dealing well with it.” Bobby said and Sam stared at him, ashamed for the way he’d yelled at the man who was a second father to them.

“S..ss…sorry.” Sam stammered out, tears spilling over and Bobby pulled him into a hug.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for son.” Bobby assured him and Dean relaxed behind the wall. Bobby didn’t seem mad at him for last night which was good. Seeing the way Sam and Bobby acted around each other…..it made Dean wish he could remember the hunter. He’s accepted him because Sam knew him, liked having him there and then Bobby had helped him protect Sam but he wanted the connection Sam had with the man. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall, hating himself for forgetting Bobby. Sam acted like he was family, why couldn’t Dean have held onto the memories of him.
“Idjit.” A gruff voice suddenly said and then Dean found himself pulled into a hug. He opened his eyes to find it was Bobby holding him. Dean shuddered and went to pull back but Bobby didn’t let go and Dean crumpled, clinging to him.

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry.” Dean began mumbling and Bobby held onto him.

“It’s not your fault son. I’m just glad you’re back here with us. You remember Sam, that’s the most important thing.” Bobby assured him and Dean looked up at him.

“But I don’t remember you.” He whispered and Bobby smiled at him.

“I know that, I also know that it’s a miracle you remember anything of your life Dean.” Bobby assured him gently.
“You two….you’re like sons to me, you got that?” Bobby asked and Dean stared at him with wide eyes before nodding. He’d thought Bobby was just tolerating him for Sam but maybe he really did care about him, demon or not.
“I never want to have to bury you again Dean so we have to stop Lilith so she can’t hurt either of you again.” Bobby finished and Dean nodded, managing a small smile for him.

“Dean?” Sam called and Bobby released him, shoving him gently towards the living room.

“Better see what the kid wants.” Bobby told him and Dean nodded, going to see Sam who smiled and held out his arms. Dean walked over and Sam hugged him.

“Bobby love you too.” Sam whispered and Dean buried his face in Sam’s hair, hiding the single tear that fell.

`````````````````````````````````````````````
Dean jolted awake, panting for air. He looked around wildly, relaxing slowly as he recognised the bedroom at Bobby’s and Sam’s familiar weight on his chest. He reached down to run his fingers through Sam’s hair, using the motion to help calm himself down. Sleepy hazel eyes opened and looked up at him and then Sam was pushing himself up, staring at Dean in concern.

“Dean?” Sam asked, reaching out to pet Dean’s face and Dean lent into his touch.
“Okay?” Sam asked and Dean nodded as his breathing evened out.
“Nightmare.” This time it was a statement and Dean nodded again.
“You okay now.” Sam assured him, hugging him. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, breathing in his scent.
“Talk?” Sam offered and Dean shuddered, it might help but how could he tell Sam what they’d done to him? What they’d made him do to others?
“Love you, won’t change.” Sam promised and Dean looked up at him.

“Sammy……….I….” Dean trailed off, not sure what to say and Sam kissed him softly.
“I hate it, what they did, what I did.” Dean choked and Sam shifted, moving off Dean’s chest to lie beside him and then he tugged Dean into his arms, running his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“Okay. No matter….love you.” Sam promised and Dean took a shuddering breath.

“The racks….the chains go through you, pulling, always pulling. Then…..they cut and tear at you until…..then it starts again and again and again and it never stops.” Dean mumbled, feeling Sam’s arms tighten around him, Sam’s lips gently kissing the back of his neck, giving what comfort he could.
“Always new things so you can’t adjust, can’t escape. They….hands, claws all over me, burning, freezing…..they….they did things……Sammy.” Dean choked and Sam held him, whispering but Dean couldn’t make out the words, he just clung to Sam’s voice, letting it ground him in the present and the fact that he wasn’t in hell. When the room began to focus he turned in Sam’s eyes, surprising him with a deep kiss, buying his hands in Sam’s hair. Sam gasped but his hands moved to rest on Dean’s waist, rubbing at the skin there. Dean felt himself start to tense but focused on the kiss, the feel of Sam’s lips against his and he relaxed. When they parted Sam was panting and Dean felt a flash of nervousness but Sam just smiled at him.

“Fast or slow you want.” Sam whispered and it took Dean a second to work out what Sam was saying and then he nodded, accepting that Sam was okay with whatever he wanted. It felt weird, for someone to let him matter but Sam had always done that.

“Missed you so much.” Dean whispered and Sam smiled.

“Missed you.” Sam assured him, leaning in to kiss him again.

“Can we……I want to try….” Dean couldn’t say it but Sam just nodded, staring at him trustingly. Dean rolled Sam fully onto his back and then lay over him, lining their bodies up. Sam smiled and then raised his hands, letting Dean guide him as to where they could go. Dean took one of his hands and kissed the back before placing it on his hip. Sam nodded and gently gripped Dean’s hips while Dean placed his hands on either side of Sam’s head, not wanting to risk hurting Sam accidentally if he grabbed too hard. Sam stared trustingly up at him and Dean took a deep breath before shifting his hips, making Sam gasp slightly. Dean froze, worried he’d done something wrong but Sam just lifted his head, sealing their lisp together and Dean realised the gasp had been good, not bad. He started moving again, making sure to keep his eyes locked on Sam’s so he could use them to ground himself in the present. Sam kept his hands on Dean’s hips but didn’t try to control Dean’s movements; he just rubbed at the skin and continued kissing him between breaths. Eventually Dean collapsed on top of him and Sam hugged him weakly, even as he trembled slightly himself.

“Good?” Sam asked and Dean nodded against his chest. He went to move off him but Sam tightened his grip.
“Stay, not heavy.” Sam assured him so Dean settled in, ignoring the wetness between them to enjoy the closeness. But after a while it started getting uncomfortable. He raised his head and looked at Sam to see he was a little worried but otherwise looked pretty blessed out. Dean smiled and Sam smiled back.

“Think we need a shower kiddo.” Dean commented and Sam nodded, chewing on his lips.

“Did okay?” Sam asked nervously and Dean kissed him.

“Thank you Sammy. That was…..thank you. You…you did want….didn’t you?” Dean babbled and Sam nodded, smiling at him.

“Love you, want this.” Sam assured him. Dean relaxed and rolled off him, getting up before lifting Sam off the bed. Sam rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, letting him carry him to the bathroom.

TBC…..

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Sam, I'm Back! by kirallie [Reviews - 3] Chapter or Story Table of Contents - Text Size + Disclaimer: Not mine. Chapter 10 Sam ran his fingers through Dean’s hair as his brother slept, hoping he’d sleep without nightmares. Whatever their little make out session had made Dean remember hadn’t been good so Sam was scared he’d relive it in his sleep. So Sam was going to stay awake and help Dean the way Dean had been helping Sam the whole time since he’d gotten out of hell. Sure enough half an hour later Dean began moving restlessly in his sleep, mumbling incoherently. “Shh…..Dean okay……I got you.” Sam whispered, rubbing Dean’s back and Dean moaned in pain making Sam choke back a sob. He had to be strong for Dean, no matter what his own problems were. Sam twisted around, curling himself around Dean to protect him from the world even as he nuzzled the back of Dean’s neck and whispered to him. After a while Dean settled again and Sam relaxed a little, smiling softly when blue eyes fluttered open. Dean tensed but then relaxed as he recognised Sam leaning over him. “Sammy.” He murmured and Sam smiled, kissing him. “Okay?” Sam asked and Dean nodded. “Nightmares.” Sam said and Dean frowned. “Sammy it’s okay. Why didn’t you wake me?” Dean asked and Sam frowned before seeming to realise something, shaking his head. “No me. You.” Sam said and Dean frowned, shivering a little. “Okay Dean.” Sam told him, hugging him and Dean moved so they were face to face, wrapping his arms around Sam. “Did I wake you?” Dean asked guiltily but Sam shook his head, smiling proudly. “Stay up, help Dean like….” Sam hit the bed in frustration and Dean grabbed his hand, rubbing it to soothe him. “Dean help me. M…I help Dean.” Sam got out and Dean nodded, pulling Sam even closer, kissing him softly. Sam smiled and snuggled into his embrace. “So we help each other kiddo?” Dean asked and Sam nodded. “Okay. Just…..just don’t let me hurt you.” Dean pleaded softly and Sam just smiled at him. Dean chuckled and ran his fingers through Sam’s hair. “Bitch.” “Jerk.” Sam answered. `````````````````````````````````````````````` Bobby smiled as he saw Sam curled up, reading on his couch. If he ignored the weight Sam had lost and then extra length to his hair the scene could come from any of the times in the past when the boys had stayed with him. Sam looked up at him and smiled. Bobby smiled back and grabbed the plate of sandwiches he’d made up, placing it on the low table in front of Sam. Sam rolled his eyes but took one, eating slowly. “How’re you feeling?” Bobby asked and Sam shrugged. “Is….what happened with Dean, is everything okay?” Bobby asked and Sam looked up at him. “Dean never hurt me. Never!” Sam yelled and Bobby backed off, raising his hands. “Sam calm down. I didn’t say he would hurt you. I just wanted to make sure things are okay. That you’re both dealing with what happened.” Bobby assured him and Sam stared at him. “I know Dean would never knowingly hurt you Sam. I just……he didn’t know who we were for a bit last night and he could have hurt you then. He nearly did and he can’t be handling that well. Dean rips himself up over you stubbing your toe! Seeing himself trying to choke you….he can’t be dealing well with it.” Bobby said and Sam stared at him, ashamed for the way he’d yelled at the man who was a second father to them. “S..ss…sorry.” Sam stammered out, tears spilling over and Bobby pulled him into a hug. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for son.” Bobby assured him and Dean relaxed behind the wall. Bobby didn’t seem mad at him for last night which was good. Seeing the way Sam and Bobby acted around each other…..it made Dean wish he could remember the hunter. He’s accepted him because Sam knew him, liked having him there and then Bobby had helped him protect Sam but he wanted the connection Sam had with the man. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall, hating himself for forgetting Bobby. Sam acted like he was family, why couldn’t Dean have held onto the memories of him. “Idjit.” A gruff voice suddenly said and then Dean found himself pulled into a hug. He opened his eyes to find it was Bobby holding him. Dean shuddered and went to pull back but Bobby didn’t let go and Dean crumpled, clinging to him. “I’m sorry, sorry, sorry.” Dean began mumbling and Bobby held onto him. “It’s not your fault son. I’m just glad you’re back here with us. You remember Sam, that’s the most important thing.” Bobby assured him and Dean looked up at him. “But I don’t remember you.” He whispered and Bobby smiled at him. “I know that, I also know that it’s a miracle you remember anything of your life Dean.” Bobby assured him gently. “You two….you’re like sons to me, you got that?” Bobby asked and Dean stared at him with wide eyes before nodding. He’d thought Bobby was just tolerating him for Sam but maybe he really did care about him, demon or not. “I never want to have to bury you again Dean so we have to stop Lilith so she can’t hurt either of you again.” Bobby finished and Dean nodded, managing a small smile for him. “Dean?” Sam called and Bobby released him, shoving him gently towards the living room. “Better see what the kid wants.” Bobby told him and Dean nodded, going to see Sam who smiled and held out his arms. Dean walked over and Sam hugged him. “Bobby love you too.” Sam whispered and Dean buried his face in Sam’s hair, hiding the single tear that fell. ````````````````````````````````````````````` Dean jolted awake, panting for air. He looked around wildly, relaxing slowly as he recognised the bedroom at Bobby’s and Sam’s familiar weight on his chest. He reached down to run his fingers through Sam’s hair, using the motion to help calm himself down. Sleepy hazel eyes opened and looked up at him and then Sam was pushing himself up, staring at Dean in concern. “Dean?” Sam asked, reaching out to pet Dean’s face and Dean lent into his touch. “Okay?” Sam asked and Dean nodded as his breathing evened out. “Nightmare.” This time it was a statement and Dean nodded again. “You okay now.” Sam assured him, hugging him. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, breathing in his scent. “Talk?” Sam offered and Dean shuddered, it might help but how could he tell Sam what they’d done to him? What they’d made him do to others? “Love you, won’t change.” Sam promised and Dean looked up at him. “Sammy……….I….” Dean trailed off, not sure what to say and Sam kissed him softly. “I hate it, what they did, what I did.” Dean choked and Sam shifted, moving off Dean’s chest to lie beside him and then he tugged Dean into his arms, running his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Okay. No matter….love you.” Sam promised and Dean took a shuddering breath. “The racks….the chains go through you, pulling, always pulling. Then…..they cut and tear at you until…..then it starts again and again and again and it never stops.” Dean mumbled, feeling Sam’s arms tighten around him, Sam’s lips gently kissing the back of his neck, giving what comfort he could. “Always new things so you can’t adjust, can’t escape. They….hands, claws all over me, burning, freezing…..they….they did things……Sammy.” Dean choked and Sam held him, whispering but Dean couldn’t make out the words, he just clung to Sam’s voice, letting it ground him in the present and the fact that he wasn’t in hell. When the room began to focus he turned in Sam’s eyes, surprising him with a deep kiss, buying his hands in Sam’s hair. Sam gasped but his hands moved to rest on Dean’s waist, rubbing at the skin there. Dean felt himself start to tense but focused on the kiss, the feel of Sam’s lips against his and he relaxed. When they parted Sam was panting and Dean felt a flash of nervousness but Sam just smiled at him. “Fast or slow you want.” Sam whispered and it took Dean a second to work out what Sam was saying and then he nodded, accepting that Sam was okay with whatever he wanted. It felt weird, for someone to let him matter but Sam had always done that. “Missed you so much.” Dean whispered and Sam smiled. “Missed you.” Sam assured him, leaning in to kiss him again. “Can we……I want to try….” Dean couldn’t say it but Sam just nodded, staring at him trustingly. Dean rolled Sam fully onto his back and then lay over him, lining their bodies up. Sam smiled and then raised his hands, letting Dean guide him as to where they could go. Dean took one of his hands and kissed the back before placing it on his hip. Sam nodded and gently gripped Dean’s hips while Dean placed his hands on either side of Sam’s head, not wanting to risk hurting Sam accidentally if he grabbed too hard. Sam stared trustingly up at him and Dean took a deep breath before shifting his hips, making Sam gasp slightly. Dean froze, worried he’d done something wrong but Sam just lifted his head, sealing their lisp together and Dean realised the gasp had been good, not bad. He started moving again, making sure to keep his eyes locked on Sam’s so he could use them to ground himself in the present. Sam kept his hands on Dean’s hips but didn’t try to control Dean’s movements; he just rubbed at the skin and continued kissing him between breaths. Eventually Dean collapsed on top of him and Sam hugged him weakly, even as he trembled slightly himself. “Good?” Sam asked and Dean nodded against his chest. He went to move off him but Sam tightened his grip. “Stay, not heavy.” Sam assured him so Dean settled in, ignoring the wetness between them to enjoy the closeness. But after a while it started getting uncomfortable. He raised his head and looked at Sam to see he was a little worried but otherwise looked pretty blessed out. Dean smiled and Sam smiled back. “Think we need a shower kiddo.” Dean commented and Sam nodded, chewing on his lips. “Did okay?” Sam asked nervously and Dean kissed him. “Thank you Sammy. That was…..thank you. You…you did want….didn’t you?” Dean babbled and Sam nodded, smiling at him. “Love you, want this.” Sam assured him. Dean relaxed and rolled off him, getting up before lifting Sam off the bed. Sam rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, letting him carry him to the bathroom. TBC….. Previous Next You must login (register) to review.

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