Sam, I'm Back! by kirallie

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Please, someone review? Pretty please?

Dean looked up from his research to see Sam was awake. He smiled and gently ran his fingers through the dark brown mess Sam called hair only to blink in surprise as Sam’s head moved as if to follow his hand.

“Morning Sammy.” Dean greeted and to his joy Sam’s eyes seemed to be struggling to focus on him.
“That’s it Sam, I’m right here. You can do it.” He encouraged and for a second Sam’s eyes focused on him, beautiful hazel showing a brief flash of confusion before going dull again. But Dean didn’t let that worry him because even if it was only for a very brief moment, Sam had been with him. He fed Sam his breakfast and went through some exercises before running the bath. For some reason Sam was more likely to move while in the water and sure enough he moved, this time his leg jerked a bit in the water. He massaged Sam while washing him and then dried him off before getting ready to possess him.

‘Dean....come back....need you.....Dean.....’ Sam’s mental voice called and Dean felt happy at the extra words.

‘I’m here Sammy.’ He called back as he headed in deeper. He reached the barrier and slipped through it to find that things had changed a little since last time. For starters Sam’s mind was a lot brighter than when he’d first started possessing him and now his death wasn’t being played in rerun but in broken sequences with Sam sort of watching on in confusion.
‘Sammy?’ He called and Sam looked around but didn’t seem able to see him so Dean once again possessed his memory self.
‘Can you hear me kiddo?’ He asked softly and then he had a crying Sam in his arms.
‘Hey, it’s alright, I’m here.’ He soothed as he held Sam close. Sam clung to him, sobbing in his arms.
‘Sam? Can you talk to me?’

‘Dean? Don’t leave me please.’ Sam sobbed and Dean tightened his grip.

‘Never. I’m here Sammy.’

‘But you’re dead, you died and I saw it.’

‘I know Sam but I’m here now, I promise. Look it’s....you know what happened after I died?’ Dean asked gently and Sam finally loosened his grip enough that Dean could gently tilt the kids head so that they were looking at each other.

‘You had to go to hell and it’s all my fault.’ Sam whispered shakily.

‘I did but it was never your fault Sammy, I chose to make that deal and I’d do it again to save you.’

‘Then you’re not here, this is just a dream.’ Sam began to struggle in his arms but Dean held on, gently kissing Sam’s forehead.

‘Shhh, this isn’t a dream Sam. Can you listen to me kiddo?’ He asked and Sam slowly nodded.
‘Sam, everything you’re seeing in here...it happened over three years ago. I went to hell and you ended up in an institution. When I found you...you hadn’t made a voluntary movement since before you were admitted.’

‘But, you died.’ Sam insisted and Dean nodded.

‘Sam do you remember what happens to souls that go to hell?’ He asked quietly and Sam screamed, shaking his head wildly.
‘Sam calm down! Its okay, it’s okay.’

‘No! No, no, no, no....’ Sam broke off as sobs overwhelmed him and all Dean could do was hold him.

“Hey, come on Sam. Take some deep breaths. It’s gonna be okay Sam, I love you kiddo. I know....I know and understand if you don’t want me around anymore but I’ll never hurt you. In hell, they torture you, to make you forget being human until you’re filled with rage and hate. But they couldn’t make me forget you and I could never hate you.’ Dean whispered and Sam stared at him in horror.

‘Demon.....’ He choked out and Dean nodded sadly, gently cupping Sam’s face and wiping his tears away with his thumbs.
‘Where........where are we? What do you want?’ Sam asked shakily and Dean smiled at him.

‘All I want is for you to get better Sam. Where we are’s a bit more complicated but...we’re in your mind Sam. For the last three years you’ve been trapped in a mental loop of my death.’ Dean explained, waiting for Sam to realise what that meant.

‘My mind...I’m possessed! Please no, not again. I don’t want to hurt anyone.’ Sam begged and Dean sat down, pulling Sam into his lap to hold gently.

‘Sam listen to me, I don’t know how much longer we’ll be able to talk, last time I got thrown out of here. You’ve been institutionalised for the last three years; I’ve only gotten your body walking around the last few months. I don’t possess you all the time, just to try and reach you and then I make sure you’re eating and exercising. We’ve got a nice house in the middle of nowhere; it’s just the two of us. The body I’m using is just that, a body. The guy was pronounced brain dead before I started using it. All I could think about when I got out was finding you and making sure you were okay. You’ve got to wake up Sam, you tried earlier, I saw your eyes focus for a second this morning. And you’ve been moving more on your own too. I don’t know if you’ll remember any of this when you wake up but I’ll be there when you do, even though it won’t look like me.’

‘Demons lie...you can’t be Dean.’ Sam argued weakly and Dean just stared down at him sadly.

‘I love you Sammy.’ He whispered before he was once again shoved out of Sam’s mind and into the darkness.

-----------------------------------
Dean gently bathed Sam, a part of him longing to go back into the kids mind but he figured Sam needed time to think over what he’d said last time, if Sam even remembered. And he didn’t want to go through that over and over again. So he’d simply helped exercise Sam’s body from the outside for the last few days. He washed the baby shampoo from Sam’s hair and then flung out an arm to keep himself from ending up face first in the water as Sam went wild. He was flailing around in the water and Dean lunged but wasn’t fast enough to keep Sam from going under. He yanked Sam up and supported him as he coughed and spat out bathwater. Hazel eyes searched the room wildly as Sam’s body shook.

“Dean!” Sam cried out, his voice hoarse from swallowing water.

“Easy Sam, I’m here.” He said, holding Sam against him as his brother got his bearings. Sam looked at him and then jerked away.

“Who?”

“Sam, it’s me Dean.”

“C...Christo.” Sam whispered and Dean flinched away, his eyes going black.
“No, no. Get away!” Sam screamed, trying to get out of the tub but unused to moving around so his movements were clumsy and uncoordinated. Dean lunged, grabbing him and pulling him, fighting, from the tub. He ignored the hits Sam landed and carried him into the bedroom, lying him down on the bed and then using one hand to gently rub his back as he remembered doing when Sam was little. Instinctively Sam began to calm at the familiar gesture and Dean just smiled down at him as Sam stared up fearfully.

“It’s okay Sam, I’m not going to hurt you. I know I’m a demon now but I’m still your brother. You were the only thing I could hold onto in hell. I don’t blame you for not believing it’s me but I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.” Dean told him firmly yet gently and Sam slowly began to calm down.

“Bobby.....where’s Bobby?” Sam asked and Dean frowned. He didn’t know who that was but he was more worried about Sam’s disjointed speech.

“Sam I...I don’t know who that is? You’re the only one I remember.” Dean admitted sadly and Sam bit his lip.
“Is he a relative or something?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head.

“Friend.” Sam admitted and Dean frowned, wasn’t Bobby short for something?

“Wait a second, Bobby...Robert...Singer?” he asked and Sam nodded, watching him closely.
“You were admitted as Samuel Singer and the only name listed under visitors was a Robert Singer. I saw him once and he looked kind of familiar but...I still don’t remember him.

“No memories....how...find me?” Sam asked and Dean knew he was being tested but that was okay, he wouldn’t expect anything else from the kid.

“I can feel you Sammy, I just followed that to the institution and then hit the vents since I was sort of bodiless at the time. Guess this Bobby guy was the one that warded your room, made visiting a pain.” Dean answered, still gently rubbing Sam’s back. Sam tried to sit up and failed so Dean helped him, ignoring the small flinch.

“Why can’t....”

“Sam you’ve been, well....way I put it when I saw you was the lights being on but nobody home. For over three years you never moved unless someone moved you so you lost muscle mass and stuff. I’ve been working on it since getting you out but you’re gonna have to get used to moving around again. At least you’re up to solid foods now, you were on baby mush originally.” Dean told him and Sam pulled a face before yawning, making Dean chuckle.
“Get some sleep kiddo, I promise you’re safe and I’ll be here when you wake up.” Dean said, running gentle fingers through Sam’s hair. The action was so familiar that Sam leant into it before freezing and looking up at Dean with wide eyes.
“It’s okay Sam.” Dean whispered, pulling the blankets up around him since he suddenly noticed Sam was still naked. Sam shifted sleepily, trying to stay awake to watch him but his sudden awakening had drained his energy and sleep soon claimed him.

TBC...

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Sam, I'm Back! by kirallie [Reviews - 3] Chapter or Story Table of Contents - Text Size + Author's Chapter Notes: Please, someone review? Pretty please? Dean looked up from his research to see Sam was awake. He smiled and gently ran his fingers through the dark brown mess Sam called hair only to blink in surprise as Sam’s head moved as if to follow his hand. “Morning Sammy.” Dean greeted and to his joy Sam’s eyes seemed to be struggling to focus on him. “That’s it Sam, I’m right here. You can do it.” He encouraged and for a second Sam’s eyes focused on him, beautiful hazel showing a brief flash of confusion before going dull again. But Dean didn’t let that worry him because even if it was only for a very brief moment, Sam had been with him. He fed Sam his breakfast and went through some exercises before running the bath. For some reason Sam was more likely to move while in the water and sure enough he moved, this time his leg jerked a bit in the water. He massaged Sam while washing him and then dried him off before getting ready to possess him. ‘Dean....come back....need you.....Dean.....’ Sam’s mental voice called and Dean felt happy at the extra words. ‘I’m here Sammy.’ He called back as he headed in deeper. He reached the barrier and slipped through it to find that things had changed a little since last time. For starters Sam’s mind was a lot brighter than when he’d first started possessing him and now his death wasn’t being played in rerun but in broken sequences with Sam sort of watching on in confusion. ‘Sammy?’ He called and Sam looked around but didn’t seem able to see him so Dean once again possessed his memory self. ‘Can you hear me kiddo?’ He asked softly and then he had a crying Sam in his arms. ‘Hey, it’s alright, I’m here.’ He soothed as he held Sam close. Sam clung to him, sobbing in his arms. ‘Sam? Can you talk to me?’ ‘Dean? Don’t leave me please.’ Sam sobbed and Dean tightened his grip. ‘Never. I’m here Sammy.’ ‘But you’re dead, you died and I saw it.’ ‘I know Sam but I’m here now, I promise. Look it’s....you know what happened after I died?’ Dean asked gently and Sam finally loosened his grip enough that Dean could gently tilt the kids head so that they were looking at each other. ‘You had to go to hell and it’s all my fault.’ Sam whispered shakily. ‘I did but it was never your fault Sammy, I chose to make that deal and I’d do it again to save you.’ ‘Then you’re not here, this is just a dream.’ Sam began to struggle in his arms but Dean held on, gently kissing Sam’s forehead. ‘Shhh, this isn’t a dream Sam. Can you listen to me kiddo?’ He asked and Sam slowly nodded. ‘Sam, everything you’re seeing in here...it happened over three years ago. I went to hell and you ended up in an institution. When I found you...you hadn’t made a voluntary movement since before you were admitted.’ ‘But, you died.’ Sam insisted and Dean nodded. ‘Sam do you remember what happens to souls that go to hell?’ He asked quietly and Sam screamed, shaking his head wildly. ‘Sam calm down! Its okay, it’s okay.’ ‘No! No, no, no, no....’ Sam broke off as sobs overwhelmed him and all Dean could do was hold him. “Hey, come on Sam. Take some deep breaths. It’s gonna be okay Sam, I love you kiddo. I know....I know and understand if you don’t want me around anymore but I’ll never hurt you. In hell, they torture you, to make you forget being human until you’re filled with rage and hate. But they couldn’t make me forget you and I could never hate you.’ Dean whispered and Sam stared at him in horror. ‘Demon.....’ He choked out and Dean nodded sadly, gently cupping Sam’s face and wiping his tears away with his thumbs. ‘Where........where are we? What do you want?’ Sam asked shakily and Dean smiled at him. ‘All I want is for you to get better Sam. Where we are’s a bit more complicated but...we’re in your mind Sam. For the last three years you’ve been trapped in a mental loop of my death.’ Dean explained, waiting for Sam to realise what that meant. ‘My mind...I’m possessed! Please no, not again. I don’t want to hurt anyone.’ Sam begged and Dean sat down, pulling Sam into his lap to hold gently. ‘Sam listen to me, I don’t know how much longer we’ll be able to talk, last time I got thrown out of here. You’ve been institutionalised for the last three years; I’ve only gotten your body walking around the last few months. I don’t possess you all the time, just to try and reach you and then I make sure you’re eating and exercising. We’ve got a nice house in the middle of nowhere; it’s just the two of us. The body I’m using is just that, a body. The guy was pronounced brain dead before I started using it. All I could think about when I got out was finding you and making sure you were okay. You’ve got to wake up Sam, you tried earlier, I saw your eyes focus for a second this morning. And you’ve been moving more on your own too. I don’t know if you’ll remember any of this when you wake up but I’ll be there when you do, even though it won’t look like me.’ ‘Demons lie...you can’t be Dean.’ Sam argued weakly and Dean just stared down at him sadly. ‘I love you Sammy.’ He whispered before he was once again shoved out of Sam’s mind and into the darkness. ----------------------------------- Dean gently bathed Sam, a part of him longing to go back into the kids mind but he figured Sam needed time to think over what he’d said last time, if Sam even remembered. And he didn’t want to go through that over and over again. So he’d simply helped exercise Sam’s body from the outside for the last few days. He washed the baby shampoo from Sam’s hair and then flung out an arm to keep himself from ending up face first in the water as Sam went wild. He was flailing around in the water and Dean lunged but wasn’t fast enough to keep Sam from going under. He yanked Sam up and supported him as he coughed and spat out bathwater. Hazel eyes searched the room wildly as Sam’s body shook. “Dean!” Sam cried out, his voice hoarse from swallowing water. “Easy Sam, I’m here.” He said, holding Sam against him as his brother got his bearings. Sam looked at him and then jerked away. “Who?” “Sam, it’s me Dean.” “C...Christo.” Sam whispered and Dean flinched away, his eyes going black. “No, no. Get away!” Sam screamed, trying to get out of the tub but unused to moving around so his movements were clumsy and uncoordinated. Dean lunged, grabbing him and pulling him, fighting, from the tub. He ignored the hits Sam landed and carried him into the bedroom, lying him down on the bed and then using one hand to gently rub his back as he remembered doing when Sam was little. Instinctively Sam began to calm at the familiar gesture and Dean just smiled down at him as Sam stared up fearfully. “It’s okay Sam, I’m not going to hurt you. I know I’m a demon now but I’m still your brother. You were the only thing I could hold onto in hell. I don’t blame you for not believing it’s me but I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.” Dean told him firmly yet gently and Sam slowly began to calm down. “Bobby.....where’s Bobby?” Sam asked and Dean frowned. He didn’t know who that was but he was more worried about Sam’s disjointed speech. “Sam I...I don’t know who that is? You’re the only one I remember.” Dean admitted sadly and Sam bit his lip. “Is he a relative or something?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head. “Friend.” Sam admitted and Dean frowned, wasn’t Bobby short for something? “Wait a second, Bobby...Robert...Singer?” he asked and Sam nodded, watching him closely. “You were admitted as Samuel Singer and the only name listed under visitors was a Robert Singer. I saw him once and he looked kind of familiar but...I still don’t remember him. “No memories....how...find me?” Sam asked and Dean knew he was being tested but that was okay, he wouldn’t expect anything else from the kid. “I can feel you Sammy, I just followed that to the institution and then hit the vents since I was sort of bodiless at the time. Guess this Bobby guy was the one that warded your room, made visiting a pain.” Dean answered, still gently rubbing Sam’s back. Sam tried to sit up and failed so Dean helped him, ignoring the small flinch. “Why can’t....” “Sam you’ve been, well....way I put it when I saw you was the lights being on but nobody home. For over three years you never moved unless someone moved you so you lost muscle mass and stuff. I’ve been working on it since getting you out but you’re gonna have to get used to moving around again. At least you’re up to solid foods now, you were on baby mush originally.” Dean told him and Sam pulled a face before yawning, making Dean chuckle. “Get some sleep kiddo, I promise you’re safe and I’ll be here when you wake up.” Dean said, running gentle fingers through Sam’s hair. The action was so familiar that Sam leant into it before freezing and looking up at Dean with wide eyes. “It’s okay Sam.” Dean whispered, pulling the blankets up around him since he suddenly noticed Sam was still naked. Sam shifted sleepily, trying to stay awake to watch him but his sudden awakening had drained his energy and sleep soon claimed him. TBC... Previous Next You must login (register) to review.

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