Sam, I'm Back! by kirallie

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Dean remembring bad stuff from hell.

Bobby got up as a knock sounded at the door. He grabbed his shotgun and then opened the door. He stared at the man on the other side who just grinned at him.

“Can I help you?” He growled and then man laughed.

“Gee Bobby, you really need to relax.” The man answered and Bobby tensed, raising the shotgun.
“What? Don’t like the new body? I didn’t think it was that bad.” He grumbled and Bobby’s shotgun went down again.

“Dean?” He asked and the man grinned.

“Expecting someone else? It’s me Bobby, gonna let me in?” Dean asked and Bobby stepped back, letting him in.
“Sam still asleep?” He asked and Bobby nodded, putting the shotgun down but he was still watching Dean closely, making the demon sigh.
“It’s me Bobby. Want me to call Nick?” He asked and Bobby relaxed; only the three of them knew about the doctor.
“I’m gonna go sit with Sam.” He told him and then headed upstairs. Dean slipped into the bedroom, smiling at the sight of Sam curled up on his side, fast asleep. He reached out to run his fingers through Sam’s hair, sitting beside him on the bed. Sam murmured sleepily and then slowly opened his eyes, starting when he saw Dean’s new body.
“Easy Sammy, it’s just me. Got a new body.” Dean told him and Sam stared at him with wide eyes.
“Sam?”

“D…Dean?” Sam managed to get out and Dean nodded, moving to gently pull Sam into his arms, holding his brother close. A shaky hand came up to trace the new features, hazel eyes still very wide with shock and a little fear.

“Shh, its okay, I’m here.” Dean soothed, rubbing his back and Sam relaxed at the familiar touch.

“Dean.” Sam stated this time and Dean grinned at him. Sam lay still in his arms, studying the new looks. Dean’s hair was closer in colour to what Sam remembered, maybe a shade darker and a bit longer. The body was slimmer but about the same height as Dean had been, the face more angular but it was the eyes that were the biggest difference, clear bright blue instead of the green Sam missed so much.

“You like?” Dean asked and Sam knew Dean was nervous; he wanted Sam to like his new body.

“Closer.” Sam answered, snuggling into his arms. Dean relaxed and smiled down at him.

“How’re you feeling?” Dean asked in concern, noticing that Sam was using single word sentences, something he hadn’t done since shortly after waking up.

“Tired.” Sam admitted and Dean sighed, running his fingers through Sam’s hair.

“Sammy try a sentence, please? I’m worried. How much did my being in you hurt you?” Dean pleaded and Sam bit his lip nervously. Dean reached down to tease his lip from between his teeth.
“Don’t bite your lip kiddo. Come on, just try.” Dean asked and Sam took a deep breath, swallowing a few times.

“Look closer….o…old D..D.ean.” Sam got out and then hid his face, ashamed at the mess that had come out.

“Oh Sammy, its okay.” Dean whispered, hugging him close.
“I’m so sorry. This is my fault; if I hadn’t possessed you…it’ll get better kiddo, we can work with the exercises that Nick gave you. It’ll get better.” Dean promised, feeling Sam’s tears soak into his shirt.
“Shh, its okay Sammy, we’ll get though this.” Dean tried to assure him, leaning down to rest his forehead against Sam’s who looked up at him, tears glistening in his eyes. Dean reached out to gently brush the tears from his cheeks and Sam hiccuped, making him smile softly.

“No leave me?” Sam asked shakily and Dean shook his head.

“Never Sam, I’ll always stay with you.” He promised and Sam nodded.
“Hungry?” Dean asked, deciding to change the subject and Sam nodded. Dean helped him sit up and then got off the bed but stayed right next to Sam, just in case. Sam looked up at him nervously.
“It’ll be okay Sam, just try, we’ll take it from there.” Dean encouraged and Sam took a deep breath before putting his feet to the floor. He reached out and Dean took his hand, steadying him as Sam got up, only for his legs to buckle. Dean caught him easily, staying still while taking Sam’s weight.
“Easy, nice and slow Sammy. Try and put some weight on your legs.” He whispered and Sam clung to him but forced his legs to straighten out before hesitantly trying to stand. Sam managed to get some weight on his legs before they buckled again and Sam let out a frustrated sob.
“Shh, its okay, you’re gonna be okay.” Dean whispered, burying his fingers in Sam’s hair. Sam clung to him but Dean could feel the grip was weaker than it had been before they had been forced to run. Dean shifted his grip and then lifted Sam into his arms, Sam curling into him.
“Come on, let’s go get some food.”Dean offered, walking out of the bedroom and then down stairs.

Bobby looked up as Dean walked down the stairs and nodded sadly as he saw Sam curled up in his arms. Sam lifted his head and looked over at him so Bobby smiled at him, moving off the couch so Sam could be placed on it.

“’Bout time you decided to wake up kid. Hungry?” Bobby asked and Sam nodded.
“I’ll go get some sandwiches made then. You two relax.” Bobby said, heading into the kitchen to make them all a light lunch while Dean sat down with Sam who was instantly back in his arms, needing the assurance that Dean was there and wouldn’t leave him. Dean just smiled and held him, letting Sam’s presence sooth the part of him that was all demon. He knew Sam was the only reason he wasn’t like the others of his kind, Sam kept him human, or as human as he could be considering. He would do anything for Sam and he found that Bobby was becoming a close second. So he had two people to help him from becoming evil and bloodthirsty.

“Dean?” Sam called and he looked down at his brother, who looked very nervous.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked and Sam’s fingers curled into his shirt, holding him close.

“Lilith…won’t sto…stop.” Sam whispered and Dean nodded.

“I know, but I won’t let her get you and neither will Bobby.” Dean promised and then had to grab Sam’s hands as he tried to hit himself.
“Hey! Come on Sam stop it. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Dean told him, trying to be gentle.

“Stupid…lia….liab…” Sam gave up in frustration and Dean pulled him fully into his lap, cradling Sam’s head against his shoulder as tears of anger and irritation ran down Sam’s face.

“Shh, its okay, you’re alright. You are not stupid or a liability. You’re the one who remembered Lilith was after you after all. You’re so brave Sam. I don’t care if you never get better as long as I’ve got you and you know me. I was so scared you’d never wake up, that I’d always be alone. Without you….I don’t think I could keep from being like the others.” Dean admitted, scared that Sam would hate him for it. Sam just hung on as tight as he could, the tears stopping.

“Need you…always. Love Dean.” Sam whispered and Dean smiled, planting a soft kiss on the side of Sam’s head.

“Love Sam.” He answered and then looked up as Bobby came in with a plate of sandwiches, happy when the hunter acted like he didn’t see the drying tears on Sam’s face.

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Sam studied his brother as he lay in his arms, supposedly asleep, but he’d been having nightmares since Dean had left his body for the one he was now using. Dean had changed a lot since dying but at his core he was still Dean Winchester, Sam knew it. Anyone else would have left him by now but not Dean, Dean had always been his protector. He knew he’d hurt Dean when he’d first woken up and refused to believe it was him but Dean hadn’t blamed him, knowing it was the body and the fact he was a demon. Dean was unlike any demon Sam had ever known; even Ruby hadn’t been so human. He didn’t know what he would have done if Dean had come back as a normal demon, not remembering him. Then again he’d probably still be catatonic in a hospital bed somewhere. Why had Lilith done that to him? Why not just have him killed? It didn’t make a lot of sense to him.

Sam snuggled closer to Dean, needing the comfort as he thought about things. He was glad that he hadn’t suffered any damage mentally but then again if he had, would he have known the difference? Yes it was frustrating and painful to try and get out what he was thinking but Dean and Bobby were always patient and seemed to understand even when all he could manage were a few broken words. He was more annoyed that he was back at being unable to stand unaided, despite what Dean had said Sam knew it would make him a liability when they were found again. Sure Dean could possess him again but how much further would that set him back? He just wanted things the way they were before all the demon deals, was that too much to ask? He bit his lip, fighting back tears and then started as he found sad blue eyes staring at him. Sam smiled shakily at him and Dean smiled back, leaning in to kiss his forehead but Sam moved his head, letting their lips meet instead. He’d seen the way Dean looked at him now, knew it was partly because Dean no longer had the inhibitions against such things and partly it was simply Dean loving him. He didn’t care; he loved Dean too, had for years but had been too scared to say anything to his skirt chasing brother.

Dean froze when Sam moved so that it was his lips Dean kissed. Part of him knew that humans would see it as wrong but he loved Sam. Hell had stripped everything but that love from him, making him show it to Sam so much more easily. He knew that he hadn’t been so touchy feely with Sam before hell but he had to stay close to Sam to hang onto whatever tiny spark of humanity he had left.

“Sam?” He whispered and Sam stared at him, obviously nervous but not afraid.

“Please.” Sam answered and then brushed his lips against Dean’s. Dean smiled and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss and making Sam moan. He let his hands wander under Sam’s shirt, getting a laugh when he found a few ticklish spots. Sam’s hand moved to rub at Dean’s neck, helping him relax, the other went under Dean’s shirt to explore the unknown body. Sam’s hands were warm and gentle as they explored his skin, making Dean shiver but then he flinched.
“Dean?” Called, feeling the flinch but Dean didn’t answer, his eyes closed tightly and his breathing becoming laboured.
“Dean!” Sam pushed himself up to lean over Dean, gently rubbing his chest to try and help him calm down.

Dean fought back a scream as memories of hell threatened to drown him. He could feel hands and claws all over him, burning hot one moment and then freezing cold the next. He shook his head; tears leaking form his shut eyes as he tried not to let them know how much he hurt. He wanted Sam! He couldn’t hold back the cries as claws ripped into him, tearing him apart before waiting for him to heal and then start all over again. He screamed as something was rammed into him, sobbing as he was violated in a way he’d never been before.

Sam didn’t know what to do as Dean screamed in pain and fear. He wasn’t responding to either Sam’s touch or voice and he could hear Bobby running their way, alerted by Dean’s screams.

“Sam?” Bobby called as he paused in the doorway, searching the room with his raised shotgun. Sam just gave him a lost look.
“Dean? Son it’s alright.” Bobby called, moving over to the bed only to go flying into the wall, pinned by Dean’s powers.

“Dean! Hurt…Bobby.” Sam cried out, gently cupping Dean’s face in his hands.
“Wake up, no….real.” Sam tried, wanting to stop Dean’s pain but not knowing how. He didn’t flinch when wild black eyes suddenly snapped open. He could tell Dean wasn’t seeing him or the room by the way he was still struggling and whimpering. Sam had thrown himself across Dean’s body since he wasn’t strong enough to simply hold him down and he’d wanted his hands free to try and sooth Dean.

Dean found someone holding him down and snarled, rolling them so he had them pinned with an arm across their throat. He was confused why the demon wasn’t fighting him, just holding onto his arm.

Sam stared up at Dean’s rage filled face and knew that trying to struggle would not be good so he just reached up to hold onto the arms across his throat. It wasn’t restricting his breathing too badly, yet. He glanced over at where bobby was still pinned, staring at them in terror. He looked back at Dean and saw a flash on confusion probably because he wasn’t fighting back. He tool one hand off Dean’s arm and reached up to stroke Dean’s face softly, getting another snarl and the arm against his throat tightened slightly but he kept up the gentle touch.

“Shh Dean….Sammy….I’m Sammy. Safe.” Sam called to him, trying to break through whatever Dean was reliving. He kept talking softly, calling Dean’s name frequently and trying not to cough or choke, his throat was probably gonna bruise anyway.

He snarled as something touched his face, trying to keep it away from his eyes and increasing the pressure as a warning. Gradually he heard something over the cacophony of screams and demon taunts, something soft and vaguely familiar. He shook his head, confused and scared. What was happening? He was in hell, there was nothing gentle there, was there?

“Dean….come back…Dean.” Sam called over and over, finally giving in and coughing a few times.

Dean blinked; letting up his hold a bit as words began to filter threw. He closed his eyes and tried to focus…..he knew that voice! Sam! It was his Sammy calling for him.

“Sammy?” He called out hesitantly, scared it was an illusion.

“Here…focus Dean. Safe….B..Bobby’s h…house. Member?” Sam’s voice came again and Dean focused on it, trying to work out was happening.
“Dean…hurt.” Sam whispered and then whimpered and Dean’s eyes shot open to see Sam lying beneath him. Dean blinked and then threw himself off Sam, horrified by the sight of his own arm trying to choke Sam. He stared around, slowly recognising the room as the one they had been sharing at Bobby’s. His eyes went to the wall and he froze as he saw a scared Bobby pinned to it.

“Bobby?” He whispered and the man nodded. Dean hugged himself, backing into the corner even as Bobby was released. He saw Sam roll over on the bed, reaching out to him with one hand but he kept backing away until he hit the wall and then his legs buckled and he slid down to huddle on the floor.

“Dean.” Sam called but Dean buried his head in his arms, shame and self-hatred filling him. He’d hurt Sam!

“Dean!” Sam cried out again, falling from the bed and to the floor. He got to his hands and knees, crawling drunkenly over to where Dean was sitting.

“Sam!” Bobby hissed but Sam waved him off with a hand, knowing Bobby wanted him to back off but he wouldn’t. Dean would never knowingly hurt him and Dean was aware now so it was safe.

“Dean.” Sam whispered, sitting beside Dean and plastering himself to Dean’s side, ignoring the way Dean went rigid.
“Shh….okay Dean. N…not hurt.” Sam told him, tugging at Dean’s arms. Dean refused to budge though and Sam huffed in annoyance. He moved to sit in front of Dean and reached out to run his fingers through Dean’s hair, trying to comfort him.

“Don’t.” Dean choked out and Sam smiled at getting a reaction.

“Why?” Sam asked gently and Dean finally glanced up at him, eyes still black.

“I hurt you. You have to stay away from me. I’m a demon, I’m evil.” Dean whispered and Sam was the one to snarl in anger this time, making Dean blink at him in shock, black fading to blue. Sam reached out and put a hand on the back of Dean’s neck, gently rubbing the skin.

“Not evil!!!” Sam snapped at him.
“Know you’d…..never…h..hurt me.” Sam assured him more gently, leaning in to gently brush his lips against Dean’s.
“Memories?” Sam asked and Dean jerked his head in a nod.
“Hug please.” Sam held out his arms and Dean stared at him before slowly uncurling enough for Sam to cuddle in. Dean wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in Sam’s hair, inhaling his scent.
“Shh, okay Dean. Safe.” Sam whispered and Dean nodded, clinging to Sam. Dean glanced up at Bobby who stared at him before nodding, grabbing his shotgun and leaving the room.
“Love Dean.” Sam told him and Dean pulled Sam into his lap.

“Love Sam.” Dean whispered back.
“Sorry, so sorry Sammy.” He whimpered and Sam rubbed his back, trying to comfort him.

“Not your fault.” Sam stated firmly and Dean managed a small smile at the lack of stutter.
“What triggered?” Sam asked and Dean looked away.
“Touching….Dean did they……” Dean closed his eyes and Sam hugged him as tightly as he could.
“Never hurt you, know…” Sam trailed off; chewing his lip again and Dean looked at him.

“I know you’d never hurt me Sammy. I’m sorry.” Dean told him and Sam smiled.

“We’ll figure out. Is….kiss okay?” Sam asked and Dean smiled, nodding.

“They never did that.” Dean admitted so Sam kissed him softly again. Dean cradled Sam in his arms once they parted and then stood up, waling back over to the bed. He lay Sam down and then got on the bed beside him, smiling when Sam instantly curled into his side. He could see Sam was exhausted so he rubbed his back, soothing him to sleep. Dean just held him close and let the body relax into sleep.

TBC…

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Sam, I'm Back! by kirallie [Reviews - 3] Chapter or Story Table of Contents - Text Size + Author's Chapter Notes: Dean remembring bad stuff from hell. Bobby got up as a knock sounded at the door. He grabbed his shotgun and then opened the door. He stared at the man on the other side who just grinned at him. “Can I help you?” He growled and then man laughed. “Gee Bobby, you really need to relax.” The man answered and Bobby tensed, raising the shotgun. “What? Don’t like the new body? I didn’t think it was that bad.” He grumbled and Bobby’s shotgun went down again. “Dean?” He asked and the man grinned. “Expecting someone else? It’s me Bobby, gonna let me in?” Dean asked and Bobby stepped back, letting him in. “Sam still asleep?” He asked and Bobby nodded, putting the shotgun down but he was still watching Dean closely, making the demon sigh. “It’s me Bobby. Want me to call Nick?” He asked and Bobby relaxed; only the three of them knew about the doctor. “I’m gonna go sit with Sam.” He told him and then headed upstairs. Dean slipped into the bedroom, smiling at the sight of Sam curled up on his side, fast asleep. He reached out to run his fingers through Sam’s hair, sitting beside him on the bed. Sam murmured sleepily and then slowly opened his eyes, starting when he saw Dean’s new body. “Easy Sammy, it’s just me. Got a new body.” Dean told him and Sam stared at him with wide eyes. “Sam?” “D…Dean?” Sam managed to get out and Dean nodded, moving to gently pull Sam into his arms, holding his brother close. A shaky hand came up to trace the new features, hazel eyes still very wide with shock and a little fear. “Shh, its okay, I’m here.” Dean soothed, rubbing his back and Sam relaxed at the familiar touch. “Dean.” Sam stated this time and Dean grinned at him. Sam lay still in his arms, studying the new looks. Dean’s hair was closer in colour to what Sam remembered, maybe a shade darker and a bit longer. The body was slimmer but about the same height as Dean had been, the face more angular but it was the eyes that were the biggest difference, clear bright blue instead of the green Sam missed so much. “You like?” Dean asked and Sam knew Dean was nervous; he wanted Sam to like his new body. “Closer.” Sam answered, snuggling into his arms. Dean relaxed and smiled down at him. “How’re you feeling?” Dean asked in concern, noticing that Sam was using single word sentences, something he hadn’t done since shortly after waking up. “Tired.” Sam admitted and Dean sighed, running his fingers through Sam’s hair. “Sammy try a sentence, please? I’m worried. How much did my being in you hurt you?” Dean pleaded and Sam bit his lip nervously. Dean reached down to tease his lip from between his teeth. “Don’t bite your lip kiddo. Come on, just try.” Dean asked and Sam took a deep breath, swallowing a few times. “Look closer….o…old D..D.ean.” Sam got out and then hid his face, ashamed at the mess that had come out. “Oh Sammy, its okay.” Dean whispered, hugging him close. “I’m so sorry. This is my fault; if I hadn’t possessed you…it’ll get better kiddo, we can work with the exercises that Nick gave you. It’ll get better.” Dean promised, feeling Sam’s tears soak into his shirt. “Shh, its okay Sammy, we’ll get though this.” Dean tried to assure him, leaning down to rest his forehead against Sam’s who looked up at him, tears glistening in his eyes. Dean reached out to gently brush the tears from his cheeks and Sam hiccuped, making him smile softly. “No leave me?” Sam asked shakily and Dean shook his head. “Never Sam, I’ll always stay with you.” He promised and Sam nodded. “Hungry?” Dean asked, deciding to change the subject and Sam nodded. Dean helped him sit up and then got off the bed but stayed right next to Sam, just in case. Sam looked up at him nervously. “It’ll be okay Sam, just try, we’ll take it from there.” Dean encouraged and Sam took a deep breath before putting his feet to the floor. He reached out and Dean took his hand, steadying him as Sam got up, only for his legs to buckle. Dean caught him easily, staying still while taking Sam’s weight. “Easy, nice and slow Sammy. Try and put some weight on your legs.” He whispered and Sam clung to him but forced his legs to straighten out before hesitantly trying to stand. Sam managed to get some weight on his legs before they buckled again and Sam let out a frustrated sob. “Shh, its okay, you’re gonna be okay.” Dean whispered, burying his fingers in Sam’s hair. Sam clung to him but Dean could feel the grip was weaker than it had been before they had been forced to run. Dean shifted his grip and then lifted Sam into his arms, Sam curling into him. “Come on, let’s go get some food.”Dean offered, walking out of the bedroom and then down stairs. Bobby looked up as Dean walked down the stairs and nodded sadly as he saw Sam curled up in his arms. Sam lifted his head and looked over at him so Bobby smiled at him, moving off the couch so Sam could be placed on it. “’Bout time you decided to wake up kid. Hungry?” Bobby asked and Sam nodded. “I’ll go get some sandwiches made then. You two relax.” Bobby said, heading into the kitchen to make them all a light lunch while Dean sat down with Sam who was instantly back in his arms, needing the assurance that Dean was there and wouldn’t leave him. Dean just smiled and held him, letting Sam’s presence sooth the part of him that was all demon. He knew Sam was the only reason he wasn’t like the others of his kind, Sam kept him human, or as human as he could be considering. He would do anything for Sam and he found that Bobby was becoming a close second. So he had two people to help him from becoming evil and bloodthirsty. “Dean?” Sam called and he looked down at his brother, who looked very nervous. “What’s wrong?” Dean asked and Sam’s fingers curled into his shirt, holding him close. “Lilith…won’t sto…stop.” Sam whispered and Dean nodded. “I know, but I won’t let her get you and neither will Bobby.” Dean promised and then had to grab Sam’s hands as he tried to hit himself. “Hey! Come on Sam stop it. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Dean told him, trying to be gentle. “Stupid…lia….liab…” Sam gave up in frustration and Dean pulled him fully into his lap, cradling Sam’s head against his shoulder as tears of anger and irritation ran down Sam’s face. “Shh, its okay, you’re alright. You are not stupid or a liability. You’re the one who remembered Lilith was after you after all. You’re so brave Sam. I don’t care if you never get better as long as I’ve got you and you know me. I was so scared you’d never wake up, that I’d always be alone. Without you….I don’t think I could keep from being like the others.” Dean admitted, scared that Sam would hate him for it. Sam just hung on as tight as he could, the tears stopping. “Need you…always. Love Dean.” Sam whispered and Dean smiled, planting a soft kiss on the side of Sam’s head. “Love Sam.” He answered and then looked up as Bobby came in with a plate of sandwiches, happy when the hunter acted like he didn’t see the drying tears on Sam’s face. `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Sam studied his brother as he lay in his arms, supposedly asleep, but he’d been having nightmares since Dean had left his body for the one he was now using. Dean had changed a lot since dying but at his core he was still Dean Winchester, Sam knew it. Anyone else would have left him by now but not Dean, Dean had always been his protector. He knew he’d hurt Dean when he’d first woken up and refused to believe it was him but Dean hadn’t blamed him, knowing it was the body and the fact he was a demon. Dean was unlike any demon Sam had ever known; even Ruby hadn’t been so human. He didn’t know what he would have done if Dean had come back as a normal demon, not remembering him. Then again he’d probably still be catatonic in a hospital bed somewhere. Why had Lilith done that to him? Why not just have him killed? It didn’t make a lot of sense to him. Sam snuggled closer to Dean, needing the comfort as he thought about things. He was glad that he hadn’t suffered any damage mentally but then again if he had, would he have known the difference? Yes it was frustrating and painful to try and get out what he was thinking but Dean and Bobby were always patient and seemed to understand even when all he could manage were a few broken words. He was more annoyed that he was back at being unable to stand unaided, despite what Dean had said Sam knew it would make him a liability when they were found again. Sure Dean could possess him again but how much further would that set him back? He just wanted things the way they were before all the demon deals, was that too much to ask? He bit his lip, fighting back tears and then started as he found sad blue eyes staring at him. Sam smiled shakily at him and Dean smiled back, leaning in to kiss his forehead but Sam moved his head, letting their lips meet instead. He’d seen the way Dean looked at him now, knew it was partly because Dean no longer had the inhibitions against such things and partly it was simply Dean loving him. He didn’t care; he loved Dean too, had for years but had been too scared to say anything to his skirt chasing brother. Dean froze when Sam moved so that it was his lips Dean kissed. Part of him knew that humans would see it as wrong but he loved Sam. Hell had stripped everything but that love from him, making him show it to Sam so much more easily. He knew that he hadn’t been so touchy feely with Sam before hell but he had to stay close to Sam to hang onto whatever tiny spark of humanity he had left. “Sam?” He whispered and Sam stared at him, obviously nervous but not afraid. “Please.” Sam answered and then brushed his lips against Dean’s. Dean smiled and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss and making Sam moan. He let his hands wander under Sam’s shirt, getting a laugh when he found a few ticklish spots. Sam’s hand moved to rub at Dean’s neck, helping him relax, the other went under Dean’s shirt to explore the unknown body. Sam’s hands were warm and gentle as they explored his skin, making Dean shiver but then he flinched. “Dean?” Called, feeling the flinch but Dean didn’t answer, his eyes closed tightly and his breathing becoming laboured. “Dean!” Sam pushed himself up to lean over Dean, gently rubbing his chest to try and help him calm down. Dean fought back a scream as memories of hell threatened to drown him. He could feel hands and claws all over him, burning hot one moment and then freezing cold the next. He shook his head; tears leaking form his shut eyes as he tried not to let them know how much he hurt. He wanted Sam! He couldn’t hold back the cries as claws ripped into him, tearing him apart before waiting for him to heal and then start all over again. He screamed as something was rammed into him, sobbing as he was violated in a way he’d never been before. Sam didn’t know what to do as Dean screamed in pain and fear. He wasn’t responding to either Sam’s touch or voice and he could hear Bobby running their way, alerted by Dean’s screams. “Sam?” Bobby called as he paused in the doorway, searching the room with his raised shotgun. Sam just gave him a lost look. “Dean? Son it’s alright.” Bobby called, moving over to the bed only to go flying into the wall, pinned by Dean’s powers. “Dean! Hurt…Bobby.” Sam cried out, gently cupping Dean’s face in his hands. “Wake up, no….real.” Sam tried, wanting to stop Dean’s pain but not knowing how. He didn’t flinch when wild black eyes suddenly snapped open. He could tell Dean wasn’t seeing him or the room by the way he was still struggling and whimpering. Sam had thrown himself across Dean’s body since he wasn’t strong enough to simply hold him down and he’d wanted his hands free to try and sooth Dean. Dean found someone holding him down and snarled, rolling them so he had them pinned with an arm across their throat. He was confused why the demon wasn’t fighting him, just holding onto his arm. Sam stared up at Dean’s rage filled face and knew that trying to struggle would not be good so he just reached up to hold onto the arms across his throat. It wasn’t restricting his breathing too badly, yet. He glanced over at where bobby was still pinned, staring at them in terror. He looked back at Dean and saw a flash on confusion probably because he wasn’t fighting back. He tool one hand off Dean’s arm and reached up to stroke Dean’s face softly, getting another snarl and the arm against his throat tightened slightly but he kept up the gentle touch. “Shh Dean….Sammy….I’m Sammy. Safe.” Sam called to him, trying to break through whatever Dean was reliving. He kept talking softly, calling Dean’s name frequently and trying not to cough or choke, his throat was probably gonna bruise anyway. He snarled as something touched his face, trying to keep it away from his eyes and increasing the pressure as a warning. Gradually he heard something over the cacophony of screams and demon taunts, something soft and vaguely familiar. He shook his head, confused and scared. What was happening? He was in hell, there was nothing gentle there, was there? “Dean….come back…Dean.” Sam called over and over, finally giving in and coughing a few times. Dean blinked; letting up his hold a bit as words began to filter threw. He closed his eyes and tried to focus…..he knew that voice! Sam! It was his Sammy calling for him. “Sammy?” He called out hesitantly, scared it was an illusion. “Here…focus Dean. Safe….B..Bobby’s h…house. Member?” Sam’s voice came again and Dean focused on it, trying to work out was happening. “Dean…hurt.” Sam whispered and then whimpered and Dean’s eyes shot open to see Sam lying beneath him. Dean blinked and then threw himself off Sam, horrified by the sight of his own arm trying to choke Sam. He stared around, slowly recognising the room as the one they had been sharing at Bobby’s. His eyes went to the wall and he froze as he saw a scared Bobby pinned to it. “Bobby?” He whispered and the man nodded. Dean hugged himself, backing into the corner even as Bobby was released. He saw Sam roll over on the bed, reaching out to him with one hand but he kept backing away until he hit the wall and then his legs buckled and he slid down to huddle on the floor. “Dean.” Sam called but Dean buried his head in his arms, shame and self-hatred filling him. He’d hurt Sam! “Dean!” Sam cried out again, falling from the bed and to the floor. He got to his hands and knees, crawling drunkenly over to where Dean was sitting. “Sam!” Bobby hissed but Sam waved him off with a hand, knowing Bobby wanted him to back off but he wouldn’t. Dean would never knowingly hurt him and Dean was aware now so it was safe. “Dean.” Sam whispered, sitting beside Dean and plastering himself to Dean’s side, ignoring the way Dean went rigid. “Shh….okay Dean. N…not hurt.” Sam told him, tugging at Dean’s arms. Dean refused to budge though and Sam huffed in annoyance. He moved to sit in front of Dean and reached out to run his fingers through Dean’s hair, trying to comfort him. “Don’t.” Dean choked out and Sam smiled at getting a reaction. “Why?” Sam asked gently and Dean finally glanced up at him, eyes still black. “I hurt you. You have to stay away from me. I’m a demon, I’m evil.” Dean whispered and Sam was the one to snarl in anger this time, making Dean blink at him in shock, black fading to blue. Sam reached out and put a hand on the back of Dean’s neck, gently rubbing the skin. “Not evil!!!” Sam snapped at him. “Know you’d…..never…h..hurt me.” Sam assured him more gently, leaning in to gently brush his lips against Dean’s. “Memories?” Sam asked and Dean jerked his head in a nod. “Hug please.” Sam held out his arms and Dean stared at him before slowly uncurling enough for Sam to cuddle in. Dean wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in Sam’s hair, inhaling his scent. “Shh, okay Dean. Safe.” Sam whispered and Dean nodded, clinging to Sam. Dean glanced up at Bobby who stared at him before nodding, grabbing his shotgun and leaving the room. “Love Dean.” Sam told him and Dean pulled Sam into his lap. “Love Sam.” Dean whispered back. “Sorry, so sorry Sammy.” He whimpered and Sam rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. “Not your fault.” Sam stated firmly and Dean managed a small smile at the lack of stutter. “What triggered?” Sam asked and Dean looked away. “Touching….Dean did they……” Dean closed his eyes and Sam hugged him as tightly as he could. “Never hurt you, know…” Sam trailed off; chewing his lip again and Dean looked at him. “I know you’d never hurt me Sammy. I’m sorry.” Dean told him and Sam smiled. “We’ll figure out. Is….kiss okay?” Sam asked and Dean smiled, nodding. “They never did that.” Dean admitted so Sam kissed him softly again. Dean cradled Sam in his arms once they parted and then stood up, waling back over to the bed. He lay Sam down and then got on the bed beside him, smiling when Sam instantly curled into his side. He could see Sam was exhausted so he rubbed his back, soothing him to sleep. Dean just held him close and let the body relax into sleep. TBC… Previous Next You must login (register) to review.

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