Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup


Xander walked into the Magic Box the next night, looking exhausted. The girls all stared at him. "Some funny dreams. Nothing major."

"Is it like the ones I had to block off before?" Willow asked. She strengthened her shield over his mind. He relaxed and she silently cursed whatever had caused those. Nothing like that should be going after her friend. He needed to be protected from all that stuff. No matter who might say what, she knew she was right. Look how much happier he was and now he could sleep. As long as Anya held off for a bit. She had a spell for that too. Xander needed his sleep or else he might get hurt.

***

Dean slammed his fist into the steering wheel. "The damn link was cut," he growled.

"I felt," Sam said, considering it. "Could it be the hellmouth acting up or is it a witch? Might he be having someone block him from us on purpose?"

"He clearly has no idea about us, dude. That means we'd just be like odd dreams to him."

"Which can be disquieting," Sam pointed out gently. "We hate nightmares for the same reason."

"Maybe." Dean pulled into a diner and got out to get lunch. Sam joined him. This sucked and they'd have to find some other way to tell him before he died. Then they'd all be in hell with him.

***

It was nearly a year later when Cam woke up in a cold sweat, panting and holding his face. "Oh, god, no," he muttered, getting up and calling. "General, Cam. What happened?" He listened to the report that it was an injury, not a fatality. Jack had been through the last death and it wasn't the same. "Can't we rescue him?" he demanded. No, because Sunnydale was off limits for all military personnel thanks to some crackpots they had out there a few years back. "Even as civies?" he asked. "Dean and Sam?" He groaned. "Damn it!" He held his eye again. "No, it's clearly an injury to his eye. I know he has to be healthy but we can't make sure of it there, can we?" He got told to calm down and think. They'd handle it somehow. Cam took some advil for his new headache and settled in to calm himself and talk to the others in his search team. Something had to be done. Soon.

***

Tony sent out a silent shove to all the members of the team that were on earth. Sunnydale had fallen. He was watching it with Abby in the lab. Gibbs stomped in. "Boss, this whole town just sank," he said quietly.

"Busses," Abby said, starting to bounce. "There's busses so there's survivors." They watched as busses pulled up and people got out to mill around at the line the police had formed. They had no idea why they were forming one and aid stations. He had no idea how anyone had known. A last few busses pulled up and he saw a blonde girl he had been briefed about. He nearly fell over in relief when he saw the dark hair of his prince. Though, the eye patch wasn't a good sign. He sent that around and they all groaned. That might count as being unhealthy. Which meant they were all screwed. He watched, the people got sorted out by the Feds on site. Cam was closest physically but he was also off-planet. Dean and Sam were wrapped up in the demon that was trying to destroy them, especially Sam. He was free though. "Boss, permission?" he asked quietly.

"Denied. They won't be settled anywhere and it'll be a hunt," he said, patting Abby on the back. "How bad is the destruction?"

"They pulled all helicopters from the air in the last hour," she said, getting into the former film. "Look, Gibbs, it's pulling the ground in."

He stared. "Go left." She did. "That's a huge sink hole or something."

Tony knew that wasn't. The only way a hole like that was open there was probably magic. Bad, evil magic. "Call Dean, see if he can get us any answers."

"I did. He's wrapped up in that thing that wants Sam."

"Shit." He watched the film. They had a helicopter in the air and the devastation was horrifying. The town had been pulled in and eaten. Only a few buildings remained and those had been farther out by the pictures. She gasped and went over the feed more slowly. That was horrifying. It was literally a graveyard now. Gibbs shuddered and she leaned against his arm. "Tony?" he asked quietly.

"Shielded, still," he complained, considering it. "That damn redhead," he decided.

"Probably," Gibbs agreed. "We'll figure it out. You know we will." Tony nodded and they watched for now. Their heir was found, kinda. He got in touch with their Higher and she was pleased but very upset about that shield and his eye. She had an idea though. Surely the new slayer army would need a roaming hunter? That would let her people casually run into him.

***

Xander stared at the shaman across the fire from him. "What do you mean things hide me?" he asked quietly.

"Things hide your true nature, young pup." He smiled a mostly toothless smile. "There are ways around that."

"What if my true nature isn't one I can stand and that's why it was hidden?"

"Then you delude yourself and need to get beaten over the head by a hyena," he said bluntly, staring at the young thing. "Come, we will fix that." The boy nodded, following him into the hut he used. He sat him down and started a smaller fire in there. He looked him over, nodding at his shirt. "Take it off. The pants too. There's probably going to be some shocks."

"Am I going to grow into a huge monster?" he asked, looking upset at that thought.

"No, I know what you are. We have seen many of you." He patted him. "It is how you were born, young one. Also, we must talk about that which hides you. She is not supposed to do that."

"Willow," he said. The shaman nodded. "Crap."

"Yes she is at it. It has left you vulnerable for years now." He made him some tea that tended to weaken magic, both in and on subjects. The boy drank it and it calmed him down. He sat in front of him, nodding at something. "Run your fingers there." Xander did, running into a bump he hadn't seen before. "Some of the magic on you is very ancient. Revenge motivated. We will find out why."

Xander nodded, looking down. "Thank you for this." He released the small barbell earring looking thing. Suddenly his skin had lines. Pretty, swirling, a few dots, but underneath his skin. "I've never seen this pattern in nature."

"Not all natural creatures come from Africa." He nodded. "You have two others. One is in your hair, under the back on top of your neck. The other is around your manhood."

Xander looked down, seeing the faint shine of the ring. It was clearly hidden. He felt around it, blushing some, but undid it. What he saw shocked the hell out of him. "I'm a demon!" he hissed, staring at him.

"From a long line of noble protectors," he said. "That's what those lines mean. They are your family, history, and destiny all in one." He traced over a section. "This part marks that you were cursed by a relative. To get you out of his way." He stared at the single eye. "If he succeeds, the whispers of the wind say no one will succeed in having a destiny."

"Because the future will be ripped or because there won't be any people?" he asked.

"Both. Even the one that played with you that one night is scared of what he would do." He smiled. "You can keep that ring on until you're more used to it. We have to get rid of the one under your hair however. It is blocking memories you may need."

Xander drank more of the tea and clipped the ring back on. He had his penis back again. "That's an interesting trick." He turned, bowing his head. The shaman found it and cut it out with a bone and raw metal knife, making the young one hiss. "There, it is done," he offered. He handed it over. The boy opened it and suddenly he knew. He stared at him. "I can't do that."

"You have done more than that already. All that means is taking a step. A single step."

"I'm not what they need."

"You are. Even if you aren't, you are. They hold great hopes of it being you." He stared at him. "Tomorrow you can travel to a local higher beast who can tell you more. I will watch the young one while you're gone."

Xander bowed his head. "She'll hate me."

"She thinks of you like those cookies the missionaries bring if you listen to them babble," he countered with an evil smirk. "She could tell all along. So could your original slayer friend." He patted him on the head. "Then you shall train."

"I need to train then go see him."

"If you die, then you'll curse us all to your relative, Xander."

Xander slumped, looking at his lap. "Do you think Anya knew?"

"I don't know." He patted him on the head. "Finish the tea. Let us work on freeing you from the evil influences of those who would harm you to keep you little and protected." Xander grimaced but finished his tea. The shaman got him more while he set up a safe place for him to rest in. He knew the dreams would come. They had to come. They had waited much too long.

***

Cam and John found themselves on the dream plane, finally. They walked up to where the young one was sitting and thinking bad thoughts. They could see them going around in his head. "The tentacle isn't so bad," John said, sitting on one side of him. "Really, guys love it because it gets deeper and it's a bit slick so they don't need as much preparation."

Cam sat on his other side. "Tattoos are hip now so you don't have to worry about those either."

Xander looked at them. He could tell they were like him. "The welcoming committee?" he guessed, sounding sarcastic.

"Each time you got reborn, guards were sent out to search for you. Hoping that we could bring you back," John said, patting him on the back extra hard. "Last go-round you nearly got it. But your brother killed you."

"The curse said if you weren't freed back to yourself by the end of your third life, we're all screwed," Cam added. "So we're a few of your guards."

"Then why haven't I seen you two before?" He hopped up to stare at them. "Why now?"

"Because before there was interference from that damnable hellmouth and a witch," Cam said bluntly. "Also, John and I decided to take on the duty to save everyone, including you, because there's bad things coming from the rest of the universe. You may not fully appreciate it but it needed to be done and we are both very strong warriors."

Xander stared at them. "I'm not ready yet."

"What will it take to make you feel ready?" John asked. "Because you're in the most dangerous place, Xander. You can die from an infected cut, an animal, an attack, anything like that. Then we're all fucked with something a lot bigger than a tentacle."

Xander blushed. "I don't want to think about tentacles. God, the girls are never going to let this happen. They're going to kill me."

"Buffy's instinctively felt this for years," Cam told him. "That witch of yours did it to keep you as her friend like you were when you were younger."

"I know. She has pretty bad mommy syndrome sometimes." He stared at his chest then at theirs. They took off their shirts and showed off their markings. "They're similar."

"Some," John agreed, pulling him down so he could look them over. "What do you need to feel ready?"

"I'm not a great warrior. I have no idea how to lead things."

John smiled. "You were a very good warrior, one who protected others for years, before the curse. That just needs retrained."

"I trip and fall into graves!"

"Xander, this isn't the hellmouth and you can work on that later," Cam pointed out.

"But...."

John kissed him. "There will be a combat test if I can see what your brother is thinking. Especially with your eye. You're right, you need to be able to compensate for it, but if you accept your destiny it will be easier on you."

"Like in Mortal Kombat?" he joked weakly. "And what's with the kissing?"

"It is expected that you'll bring those that you want more than as guards as your harem," Cam said. "Your guards would be among the first you look over. Though, do I see a bonding mark, John?"

"Um, one of the Big Brained Ones and I have joined but he knows this is my duty and said if I got chosen, he would come. He could do great things helping." He smiled at Xander. "He has agreed."

"That sucks for you two."

"No, a harem is often a collection of sub families attached to yours." He stroked his cheek. "Just accept it and it will become easier. You have guards to protect you."

"I have slayers to train," he countered.

"You'll have a shitload of slayers to train," John agreed. "But if you get your training then they'll be better slayers."

"How am I supposed to learn these things? Giles wouldn't even teach me how to use a sword. I had to learn on my own."

Cam grimaced. "We do have allies over there but not all of them are of the same thought process. Some of them would think that you needed prepared more for the ascension or the bonding than you would the tests." He stole him, staring at him. "Your eye will not matter. You can learn how to compensate, but you have to accept it. Soon. Before he kills people you like or you."

Xander hung his head. "How do I do that?"

"Tell us yes," John said simply.

Xander thought, really thought, his chest aching. This was worse than Buffy's duty. Being the only one who could save all of humanity sucked. "Yes." They smiled and both kissed him. A flash of light happened and he looked down. His markings had changed, become deeper mostly. A few new spots had been added. He didn't feel any differently though. Cam and John got up, helping him with his fighting. The boy had to be ready. His brother was an ass who would attack any day now and take out any humans around him.

***

Xander woke up, looking at the shaman. "How do I hide this from others? She'll be freaked out."

"She knew. She came in earlier to check on you. She still thinks of you like those chocolate cookies. She thinks the artwork is very pretty on you."

"They are very pretty," he admitted, looking down at himself. "But there's still some freaky stuff I'm not going to get used to anytime soon." He stared at the older man. "You have some."

"My grandmother was half." He shrugged and grinned. "There is an ally close by but he will want to work more on your ascension. There are things you must be prepared for."

"Like the harem?" he hissed.

The old man laughed. "That's just fun."

"Only if there's a lot of horny women in skimpy clothes."

He stared at him. "Probably not that many. A harem would be part family and part guardians for you."

Xander stared back. "I have no idea what to do with another guy. Especially not one with freaky stuff like that," he said, pointing at his lap.

"Hmm. That can be learned. He may try to teach you that as well." He stood up. "Come, get breakfast, and then you can travel. It's about a day from here."

Xander came out to get some oatmeal. He had brought it with him and the village loved to make it. It was hearty and different than what they usually had. Then Xander cleaned up and got redressed, heading for the hidden cave his shaman had told him to find. He stared at his slayer when she came partway with him. "I want you to be safe. Do not take on anything that could harm you until you're trained well enough to handle it."

"I know. Nothing twice my size, nothing with more tentacles than I have arms, and nothing too evil until you've taught me how to kill them." She smiled. "So, tentacles?"

"No damn clue," he admitted, cracking her up. "Never saw it before last night. Still a bit freaked out."

She gave him a hug. "You'll do fine. It will be good and you'll find many who would like that." She smiled and ran back to the village. She had chores to do.

Xander kept hiking, trying to think positive thoughts. He spotted the cave long before he got there. "Why can't I teleport?" he muttered. "And hey, not the cave from Tomb Raider." He shifted his pack and got a drink, but kept going. This may suck but apparently he had to so whatever his brother was wouldn't destroy everyone. He walked into the cave, staring around. He whistled. Cobwebs. Giant spider demon? A large, furry thing came out and he stared. "We never saw one of you in Sunnydale," he said. "How do I address you?"

"Joaw is fine, Great One."

"Right now, I'm just Xander."

He stared at him. "Being human has changed you."

"Hunting with a slayer on the hellmouth changed me." The demon stared then nodded. "I'm told you have things I need to know about this situation."

"I do. Many things." He led him back to his living quarters. "We must teach you how to act graceful when the change happens."

"Am I going to turn into a giant demon worm?" he asked. The demon gave him a funny look. "The only ascension I know was Richard Wilkins' and we had to stop him."

"Not that sort of ascension," he assured him, making the boy relax. "There is still much magic around you."

"Hellmouth, Willow, Tara, or Dawn? Tara and Dawn's can stay because they'd only be protective and harmless."

The demon stared. "A few by those. They glowed slightly when mentioned." He patted another area on the boy's head. "This whole area is infected by black magic however."

"That was probably Willow during her bad phase. Can we remove them without hurting the other two's? That is the last we have of Tara."

The demon nodded. "Perhaps." He went to get some things, bringing them back. "What do you know of fighting?"

"What seven years of fighting beside a slayer, the memories of a soldier that I got given, and what my guards taught me last night."

The demon stared at him. "That may be a good place to start. Your brother will challenge you to combat. Perhaps we should look at regrowing the eye."

Xander felt a twinge in it. "No. It won't help."

"You're scared of that sort of magic?" he snorted.

"No, I mean when it popped it opened a latent seer's gift," he said quietly. The demon stared in awe. "Even regrowing it won't help that stop. No matter what I see."

He bowed slightly. "Of course. You know best. He can complain."

"Not like losing an eye is a cold. It doesn't make me sick, make me take medicine, or anything like that. It's a physical deformity, like having an extra part would be."

"Well stated," he agreed. He handed him the juice. "Drink. It will help us loosen that black magic but not the rest." Xander nodded and drank. Again, it relaxed him. "What do you know of your harem?"

"What I've seen on tv, sex movies, and stories?"

"Not quite. He will make you prove that you can use your tentacle."

"I'm still getting freaked out by it."

"Really?" He shrugged. "It will make you happy. So will the spot on your stomach."

"What spot on my stomach?" He looked down, raising his shirt. "I don't see a spot on my stomach. Well, I see a spot where the marks don't go." He poked it and felt something different this time. "What is that?"

"That is the covering to protect it. It is a very fragile system." He leaned over to try to peel up an edge but it would not budge. "We will have to soak it off then we will teach you to care for it."

"There's special care instructions?" Xander asked.

"Some who have been hit there without the protective covering have died of shock to their body."

"So, like my balls only more sensitive. Got it."

"Much," he warned. He laid a hand over it and pushed gently, making the boy gag. "As you now see. There is a spell over it but it is negated because you're trying to remove the cover."

"Why is it stuck?"

"Because that system exudes a sap like women exude scent and fluid."

"So it's like female juices? Does that make me a woman?"

"All of your kind have them. Breeders have a flap on their back for the pups to come out of." Xander patted his back and sighed in relief. "No, one such as you could not be a breeder." He smirked. "Come, we will soak that off. You can examine that later in a mirror and see what the fluid feels and tastes like if you want. Then you can also get used to your tentacle." He walked the boy to a hot spring and had him strip to get into it. The boy hissed but looked happy. "There, soak for a bit. That will loosen the sap." He walked off to get that glass of juice and then what he needed to remove all that magic from him.

Xander stared back at him. "Not Tara's and not Dawn's," he reminded him.

"You read minds?"

Xander smirked. "I have had half the demons in Sunnydale try for me at one point or another," he said bluntly. "I'm very good at reading body language."

"Interesting. It might get tangled up."

"So we'll move it, not remove it." The demon sighed but nodded. He realized the boy had done so and not realized it. He was definitely going to need some tutors to break the illusions that his bad witch role model had given him.

***

Xander stared at the new opening on his stomach. It was a slit, like an eye slit, but it opened more when he was happy. Behind the flat head that looked and felt spongy was a dark area. "What's that part?"

"The part where the sap is generated. If you had offspring creation roles, it would have more things like egg storage."

"That's good it's blank." He touched it again, wincing at that. He eased it and felt around the edges and the bottom 'stem' for lack of a better word. He felt something sticky and pulled his fingers out to look at it. "It looks like honey."

"It's slightly sweet. Many find it more tasty than that of human output." Xander stared at him. "Yes, your tentacle will spurt some. If you noticed you only put out a little bit before, that is why."

"Okay, good to know why Anya complained about that."

"Anya?" the demon asked.

"My former fiancee who I stood up at the altar and then we were almost getting back together when she died in the battle," he said quietly.

"Anyanka?" he asked. Xander nodded. The demon stared. "First you hunt with a slayer, then you date vengeance demons, mean ones at that. You really truly are either very brave or that curse did bad things to your mind." He walked off shaking his head. "We should go over how to care and play with tentacle, young one."

"Why? I know not to play too hard with mine."

He looked back and sighed. "Your people do not rightly care and there really is only one gender. Well, and a breeder subset I suppose." Xander grimaced. "They all have tentacles, just some have breasts as well. We can fix that for you."

"No thank you. I think I'll learn that when it's time and I'm comfy in a bed with someone."

"You'll have to be mated before or during your ascension."

Xander grimaced. "How would I know anyone who's not going to screw me up?"

"That is why you have guards and guardians."

"I met two. One's bonded to some big brain species?"

"They're nearly mythical. Which guard?"

"He said to call him John. He was military."

He stared at him. "That does figure with what that one gets into," he said as he walked off shaking his head. "It would also explain the loud one with him." He shook his head faster. The boy's people might find that amusing and a good omen. He wanted a drink to take that image out of his head.

Xander went back to examining his belly flap. He wasn't sure what to call it and he thought it was really weird. "Why do we have these instead of everything going through the tentacle?" he muttered. He had no idea and he doubted there was a health class book around to explain it to him.

***

Cam shot the demon from behind. "Are you two fucking stupid!" he shouted. "Endangering yourself this way!"

"He was going to start an apocalypse!" Dean shouted back "Using Sammy! That's why he tried to taint him. Why he killed the human mother, ended up possessing John to get us, all that!"

Cam sighed. "Fine. Sam, are you all right? We all felt you die."

He shook his head. "No, I'm not. Especially not with the deal Dean made."

"Hello, he won't be here in a year if we're lucky," Cam said sarcastically. "Plus, they can't exactly claim our souls, Sam."

"We think one of the even higher demons is behind that," Dean said quietly. "She sounded pretty hot to get me."

Cam stared at him. "Don't make me shoot your ass too, Dean." He slumped, nodding, hanging his head. "Now, let's go!" They trooped back to the cars. "Xander's in Africa." They groaned. "He's been taken in by an ally of ours. One who's more focused on teaching him what's going to happen. Apparently he's been making passes at him by showing him his stomach entrance and all that." Dean shivered. "He was a bit disgusted but he knows it's better that he's not a breeder." Sam blushed. "I don't care," he said firmly. "Do your duty."

"What about yours and John's?" Dean demanded.

"Hello! We've got enemies that are going to destroy everyone! Even if he does go up, we're still fucked if we can't fight them! Unless you want to deal with them for us? Or watch him do it?"

"Can he?" Sam asked.

"Probably not for years. Otherwise I'd beg. John's the same way. We've both been helping him at night."

"We haven't been sleeping much," Sam admitted, rubbing his face with his hand. He hauled off and punched Dean. "For that fucking deal!"

"I don't care, stop it!" another male voice ordered.

"Thank you for having some common sense," Cam said, glaring at the boys. "You have a duty already."

"They...."

"Slayers," he said bluntly. "There's dozens in Cleveland." They both stared at him in awe. "Yeah, that's what happened when Rosenburg 'helped'. So yeah, get a few. Train them." He shrugged. "Get on with it. We have four months. He's never been trained beyond what we're doing and learning from jumping in." The other guy gave him an odd look. "Doesn't concern you, sorry." He glared at them.

"We'll do what we can," Sam offered. "If this is a higher thing...."

"Slayers," Cam repeated. "There's dozens in Cleveland. That's kinda *their* job, right?"

"Good point," Dean agreed. "What's the time difference?"

"A shitload. He's just now in bed."

"Let's hit the motel and relax, then we'll take stock and move on," the other guy ordered. "Nice tattoos. How did they do those so deeply?"

Cam smiled. "It's tribal." He looked at the boys. "Yeah?" They nodded. "Thank you." He walked off and disappeared. Sometimes he hated being in charge. John should be in charge, if he wasn't in another galaxy. They really had to fix that problem and kill all the wraith. Quickly.

"Who was he?" the older guy asked the brothers.

"Family friend," Dean said dryly. "From way, way, way back when. Back when Dad was still a kid." The other guy gave him an odd look. "Yeah, he knows. We've been helping another hunter who's having issues."

"In Africa?"

"He worked with the slayer out in California," Sam told him. "He's on training down there and he's grieving, a lot of stuff."

"I'm hoping he didn't mean the kid's been taken by a military ally," Dean said, thinking about that. "That might suck."

"Probably didn't work that way," Sam pointed out. "He's in a relatively safe area, kinda." He shrugged. "I don't know. We can check on him." They nodded and went to their cars, heading for the motel. They ached. Dean and Sam had to have a real fight that came with at least black eyes. Their family friend needed to defrag, grieve for his hunting companion, and hopefully keep them sane for a bit longer. This was going to be bad.

***

Xander woke up in an awkward position. His legs were up and his ankles were tied. There were some soft ropes going up his legs to hold them in place. His back was barely supported. He recognized the device. Anya's porn tapes often had one in them. He grimaced. "This is not how I wanted to wake up," he said sarcastically. "Maybe a cup of coffee, a good morning..."

"Your brother is going to try to claim the tests sooner," the demon said.

"Then I need more time training, not to be in a sex sling."

He walked closer. "All of your people are the same gender," he pointed out. "They all have tentacles and you have to be one of your people." Xander blushed. "So yes, you have to learn. It won't hurt you. They're fairly thin but this will get you used to it."

"If it's my harem, why am I taking it?"

"To fully bond, you do each other at the same time," he said dryly. "Tentacles are that way, boy." He started the swing going. It had guide lines to keep it in position where he wanted it. The boy gently swung, getting him used to it. He had taken off that silly ring as well. The boy had to get used to having a tentacle instead of the inferior human penis. He smiled at the yelp and shaking the boy had when the swing pushed him onto the first, smallest outcropping he had created. It was special wood. Very soft, well sanded, built the same way they were. Blunt, rounded head instead of the human version. The boy was stiff and not liking it but he would learn to like it. "You must appear comfortable with it. It's this or bringing you someone to play with you."

"I don't like this," he noted. "This is not fun." He got pushed back onto it again and growled. The straps held. The demon stared. This might be a good thing. The primal spirit had to be purged before someone noted it.

Tony appeared. "Uh-uh. No." He got the swing stopped. "This is not allowed." He stared down their ally. "Thank you for your help but he's ours now." He took the boy with him, back to the camp. He set him in the same soaking pool while the demon pouted. "Are you all right? Sore? Feel like there's bleeding?" he asked quietly.

"No, I'm a bit shaken but nothing else," he said quietly.

"Good." He stroked over his hair. "He has the right idea, you do need to seem more comfortable with it, but the wrong method, my prince. I know you're not comfortable with yours yet. Once you are, the rest will come. Because we all know that you may have lost some memories from the curse that made you human." The boy leaned into his petting. He smiled. "I'm Tony, one of your guards."

"I've met John and Cam."

"They're the leaders of our search team but what they do is too important for everyone, including you. They decided they could be punished if necessary, they had to do it." He petted him again. "You've met two others. Sam and Dean?" Xander stared at him. "It was a legitimate hunt," he said quietly. "But they were still searching for you. You'll be seeing them soon enough the same way you see Cam and John."

"Do I have more than them?"

"There are a few others down here. Not specifically on the search team but a few who have helped the team in the past. A few others who have migrated to get away from your brother." He gave him a smile. "We'll handle it, my prince."

"I'm not real comfortable with that name," he said quietly. "The other guys call me by name."

"We're still respectful because we don't know who you'll pick as your harem."

"That's another uncomfy subject," he said with a grimace.

Tony smiled. "There's a better way to explore that subject than that way. Especially not to wake up to it."

"I'm still not real comfy with looking down and finding something other than my dick that I've known forever there."

Tony grinned. "You should learn it like you did the illusion. It's the same organ, only now it's longer." He stood up. "After this, we're bringing you to an ally that has more training that you'll need sooner."

"Fighting?"

"You know all that. You only have to be reminded." He smirked. "You always were hell on everyone's nerves by running around everywhere with your sword once you got it."

"I was?"

"Yeah, you were." He helped him out and grabbed his stuff. "All of it?"

"Not quite." He got a few things from the other room, including his journal. He grimaced. "Thank you for your hospitality." He left with Tony. Anything left behind would come back because of Willow's spell. Tony took him to that master, who stared at him. He was a fairly scary looking demon, but Xander had seen others of his species petting and saving kittens from the poker circuit. He nodded politely and greeted him in his own language. "That's about all I can say but I do learn those things."

The master smirked. "You knew one of us?"

"Yorin. We met him many times when he was rescuing cats from the kitten poker circuit."

"I have seen that annoying habit of his many times," he admitted, smirking some. "It did overload his temple with many too many cats over the years." He looked the boy over. "That eye is damaged?"

"Caleb popped it."

He stared. "Caleb, minion of the First?"

Xander nodded. "That's what happened to Sunnydale."

"You were there?"

"I'm Buffy's Xander."

"Oh." He stared at Tony. "You bring me interesting challenges."

"His memories might not fully be back yet. He doesn't remember his sword."

"Interesting. How many spells are on him?"

"I want to leave the ones from Tara and Dawn. Tara's a much missed member of the group and Dawn's like my sibling. They're both nothing but protective."

"They flashed when you mentioned them. That doesn't count all the hellmouth taint you carry, the black magic that's clouding you, or the other magics."

"Which would be from Willow, and are welcome to be removed," Tony told him. He looked at him. "We felt her hit you when she went psycho," he said quietly. Xander sighed and took off his shirt. Both of them stared at his side and stomach. His markings were warped around a few areas. "How did you not pass out when that hit your core?" Tony asked.

"We had to soak that covering thingy off it," Xander said.

"Yeah, I can tell. You need a new one." He moved closer to look at one. "Do you have any feeling there?"

"Yeah." He moved back some. "I always have."

"We're worried about the magic poisoning you," the other demon told him.

Xander shrugged. "As opposed to the hellmouth?"

"That may have saved you," Tony said. He patted him on the shoulder. "Master Orat?"

"I can work with what he has."

"John and Cam have been giving me some training."

"Good! Because I'm not sure how you managed to hunt with that much magically induced damage. It should have made it nearly impossible for you to do anything."

Xander shrugged. "I was born there."

"Wonderful. We can start there. It should help a lot of things." He led them back to the interior. "Are you all right? You're walking oddly."

"The last one was concerned that he might not enjoy his bonding night," Tony said grimly. "He woke up to some toys."

"Hmm, stupid of him." He got the boy settled in the natural steam chamber with the proper herbs. "Think about them and their spells. It will stay." Xander nodded, stripping down to sit and inhale the mystical smoke. "He is used to witches."

"Rosenburg."

Master Orat just nodded and walked off. That was a subject many had sworn about and he could not add anything new so he wouldn't swear about it.

***

Xander walked into the cavern. He already didn't like this test. His brother was an asshole.

A man in a robe came out. "You're injured."

"A missing eye doesn't hinder my skills. It's not something that's going to cloud my mind, make me take further treatments, or anything like that. It's not a cold."

"Perhaps," he said. "But our leader must be fit."

Xander stared at him. "Just because I'm a bit blind on one side doesn't mean I don't *see*." The man gasped. "By the way, the one sneaking up on that side, just don't. I'm without chocolate again today. I'd be really mean." That one pounced and pity for him. Xander broke both his legs and stared down at him. "I warned you." He sighed and healed him. "You're not an enemy as far as I know." He looked at the hooded one. "I also healed the drugs you gave him."

The other demon stared at him. "You are nicer now than you used to be."

"Humanity and all that," he quipped, waving a hand. "Growing up surrounded by girls."

"I can see how that would be warping, yes." He walked him on. "I am to guide you to your combat test."

Xander nodded. "Of course you are. I expected that." He looked at him. "I'm still not pleased with this brother of mine."

"You'll face him eventually." He looked him over. "You may have no hidden areas on you."

Xander looked down then at him. "What hidden areas?" The demon pointed. "I'm told that's not a hidden area, it's protective. Beyond that, Rosenburg hit me with magic there during her fit." The demons all gasped and backed away. "I'm still living and it's staying. If he doesn't like it, he can come blow me. Not like I've had any good women recently." They all backed up a few steps. Xander looked at the huge demons waiting on him. "Hey, guys. Don't you still owe about four cats?" They merged back into one demon and bowed, lumbering out complaining. "Pay the mini slayers. They'll like that and it'll drive Buffy nuts." He looked around then at the watching ones. "You said a fight?"

The demon blinked then stared at him. "You are not what we expected."

Xander smirked. "I never am." He put his sword on his shoulder. "So?"

The demons all bowed to him. The one leading him swallowed. "We would have you looked over by our physician."

"I could probably use one. I haven't had one since before Willow went over the deep end of the dark pool. They removed all the magic from me finally though."

The robed one nodded quickly. "I will gather her. And your guards that are physically present. Some are off doing...things."

"Protecting everyone, including our people, from higher threats. Yes, that's something I appreciate," he said bluntly. "It's something I would do." They all nodded at that, looking away. "Not like I haven't been while helping a slayer." That got a low moan from a few of them. He smirked. "Yes, I'm *that* Xander. Hi. Do you owe me kittens too?" They all stomped off. Xander went back to his waiting. Soon a short, redheaded woman came out. He stared at her. "You don't use magic, right?"

"No, I'm nothing like her and she gave redheads everywhere a bad name when she lost it."

"She's better."

"She'd better be. People want her to pay for that to this day." She moved closer. "I'm Doctor Frasier, Mr. Harris."

"Nice to meet you, Doc." He shook her hand.

"I work with Cam and John's project."

"Wonderful." He grinned. "It's been a while."

"I understand why." She led him to a side room. The one in the robe followed. "That way the others can make sure I don't do anything strange to help you. I'm supposed to be neutral."

"That's fine. I bared it at least once in my life for someone." She smirked at that. "So... blood work too?" he asked with a wince.

She laughed. "Even the toughest of tough guys hate needles." She pulled things out of her bag to look them over. She started with one. "Not all the magic is gone."

"Those were protections against dream demons and those sorts done by people who I miss and one who was a sibling. I'm not giving them up," he said bluntly.

She stared at him. "They can challenge that."

He shrugged. "That's nice. If they want them gone that much they can bring her back so she can put them back on later on." She smirked and got back to it. She frowned at one thing. "What?"

"The warping of your lines."

"Willow's thing."

"I heard." She checked, no damage. "The protections on him are harmless and let him be protected from a few dream demons and from the hellmouth's full power if it should open again," she reported.

"They must come off," the robed one said.

"Then I'd be bringing her back to replace them once this shit is done with," Xander said bluntly. "They're not being removed and anyone who tries I'm going to kill."

She stared at him. "He's immortal."

"Everything dies somehow. I'm sure the bits and pieces I'll chop him into won't regrow if I put them in HCL." She gasped. He looked at her. "I'm not the nicest if you screw with me. I never have been."

"Good to know." She finished the rest of her exam. "He's in good health. He could use a better diet. He skipped breakfast, but otherwise I don't see anything wrong with him."

"Master Orat had mice for breakfast. Yeah, I missed those."

She smiled. "I don't blame you." She repacked everything and stared at him. "Cam and John said to show your ass," she said quietly. "They're watching but are at work." She left.

Xander looked at the robed one. "So."

"They must come off."

Xander kicked him into a wall. "Then I'd remake the one that's dead," he said bluntly. "And if you remove the other one, the senior slayer will know and show up to kill you all for me. She'll think it's a threat."

The demon swallowed. "Your brother will not allow it."

"He can go suck on Buffy for all I care," he said bluntly. "She could use a dick and he seems like one."

The robed one moaned, walking out to report that. Xander followed. The doctor had given a report on what they were. Alarms and protections against some dream demons. All harmless, not helping him in any way, and not going to hurt their people. Many of them had such protections. The problem was his brother protesting.

Xander looked at the doctor. "Test him for the same spells," he told her. She gasped then nodded, doing so. He stared at his 'brother'. He was ugly. Really, really ugly. Like his evil was warping his body ugly. Scarred by choice from what he could tell of the marks. All knife marks and most of them looked like he had done them himself. He was runty, about to Xander's shoulders. A bit darker and broodier. If Angel had become a scarred troll under a bridge it'd be that guy.

"He does have the same sort of spells and three others. One to promote his healing ability. I can only say it's because of his habit of self mutilation. One to promote his taste buds since it looks like he burned his mouth on purpose years ago. One to promote a more normal look for him." She put things up and moved back.

"You lie," the brother said, his voice like velvet.

Xander stabbed him. "I doubt that." He kicked him off the end of his sword, making him laugh and gasp as the pain started. "Yeah, like I don't know how to do that from past battles." He stared at him. "Thank you, Doctor. Have a good rest." She nodded and hurried off before he could try to grab her or something. One of the others tried to stop her so he threw a knife, getting him in the eye, making him scream. "I said let her go." Sam came down and escorted her off. "Thank you, Sam." He looked at his brother again. "What? You couldn't wait? You had to jump in early? Sounds like you have premature ejaculation too. Pity for your forced women."

His brother stood up. "You are nothing."

"You know, people have tried to say that for years and look what I became." He waved a hand around. "Seven year veteran of fighting on the hellmouth. Six months here in Africa training the slayers. Not someone you'd expect to be a nothing."

"You're being turned into a watcher."

"Not really. They won't teach me the secret handshake," he quipped with a sneer. "They said they won't until I can stand to drink tea." The other demons moved closer. "Bring it, bitches. I've fought badder than you. Hell, I fought gay strippers worse than you guys." A few attacked and Xander put the new and old skills to use. His brother hung back but he had no idea who or how decent Xander was. Finally all the minions were down and he looked at his brother, flipping open a new vial of holy water to rinse off his blade. He flipped it over to get the other side and looked at him. "Next?"

His brother glared. "You won't win. I'll make sure of it." He pulled up magic. Xander stabbed him in the stomach. "No!" he shouted, holding it. "That's not good combat!"

"There's no such thing as fair combat. Only winning against things that're bitches and trying to hurt others," he said coolly. He kicked him back onto his back. "Have fun with that." He walked over him. "I believe this part is ended," he shouted. "Let's move on." He was let into the next room, which had dinner. He sniffed, looking around. "I need to clean up. I'm sweaty and goo covered. That's probably not polite."

Sam walked in. "Three of the dishes are poisonous," he said bluntly. "It's to prove that you know about our people."

Xander stared at him. "What's poisonous to them isn't poisonous to me, Sam. I ate sushi for years." Sam gaped. "Even after being on the swim team." He picked out all the good stuff and they heard cheering. He looked up. "But I'm still immune to the others thanks to the hellmouth," he called quietly. He picked up something to eat on his way to his room. He liked sushi. Sam gaped in horror. He smirked. "Mermaid taint, Sam."

"Clearly," he said, looking awed.

Xander smirked. "Nice that it covers most of the weaknesses this species has." He finished it before walking into the bedroom. He stared at them all. "Guys, let me shower and then we'll talk? Because I have no idea about the harem stuff."

Tony nodded. "That's fine. The bathroom's that way," he said with a point and a smile. "Though I'll warn you they're probably finding a way to watch."

"Yay." He went that way, going to shower and relax for a bit. His guards would not attack him. He knew that. Cam had sworn a blood oath that they would not attack him. He finally came out and found them all lounging around or talking. John and his friend were talking. Xander sat on the foot of the bed. "What exactly are they looking for here?"

"A stable family to support you," Tony said, moving to sit beside him and rub his back. "We protect you even as you protect and cherish us," he said quietly. Xander looked at him. "I know this is a bit different than a human relationship but it's very comforting in many ways. We keep you safe, we help you with things, and you have us when you need us or want us."

Xander nodded. "So... anyone against this?"

"I'm usually a chick magnet," Dean quipped with a smirk. "Tony too. John and Cam both get more than their fair share too." Xander nodded at that. "But some day you'll want a breeder so you can have a few sons and they can go through this."

"Actually, I only seem to shoot girls from what I've found out." They stared. He smirked back. "Not my fault. Blame the hellmouth."

"Wow," Tony said. "Okay." He shrugged. "It won't matter. There's a few females and you can talk to the Already Ascended about that." He smirked. "So, we should show you what we're good at?"

"No, I want to hear how you guys would integrate yourselves. I figure they wouldn't have picked you if you weren't good and willing." They all smirked and nodded. "So? Tell me about your lives." He scooted back to sit against his headboard and relax. They gathered closer to talk to him and let him get to know them. He saved John for last. When the others went to get dinner for them he looked at them. "You two are kinda in a unique situation," he said.

"It's not unheard of," Rodney said. "It's fairly usual so your politically aligned spouses don't get bored."

"Which I realize the guards would be," Xander assured him. "It's like an arranged marriage." John nodded. "Some of which work. But that should be between both of you if that's what you want. I can't make the decision for your relationship."

John and Rodney looked at each other. "His people are nearly mythical they're so rare, Xander. I like, respect, and learned to love him for who he is."

"That's something you guys will have to tell me," he repeated.

Rodney nodded, bowing to him. "I would be honored to be part of your harem as John's husband."

John poked him on the side. "Pain in the ass."

Xander grinned. "Sure, we can do that then." They both beamed and went to get dinner. "Let me rest, guys. I'm exhausted." They nodded and left him alone to think. This was still weird to him. Especially his tentacle.

***
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