Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup
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Note: I realized I had a plot hole with where I put this new spin off series. The dragon should be gone or they shouldn't know Major Davis. Since both have happened.... I'm fixing it.

Also, this is set: ghs empire: after part 25
thieves: before the island of retirement heaven
original ghs: before they moved to south beach.
Childhood ghs: after the last part posted




Wade walked into the present warehouse and nearly whimpered. "What the fuck!" he demanded loudly. It reached where Clay was chewing on Xander for going out to the clubs alone the night before.

Xander leaned around the doorway, staring at the packed warehouse. "It was getting packed last month but they've clearly added something." He looked back at Clay. "Did Jolene do an inventory the last time she came in to play with things?"

"Probably." He called her. "Ray Junior did," he said when he hung up. He looked in there and blinked. "There's no way we can do an insurance inventory on that, kid."

"I leave it here so they take it back," he complained. "We auction it off every year."

Wade looked at him, giving him an incredulous look. "How much of this is probably illegal?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't know. Why? Until we do the inventory I have no idea what's in any of those boxes, bags, or why there's things on pallets. That's why we're here, Wade."

Wade glared. Xander grinned. "Manipulative little shit," he told him.

Xander smacked him hard on the shoulder. "I am not! I told you we were going to do an inventory. I didn't expect this much stuff. I got told two of them finally took their shit back. I thought we'd have a lot less." He walked out to get his laptop and came back. "I can do it if you're that squeamish of boxes," he sighed at the dirty looks he was getting.

Clay and Wade shared a look. "Jensen's busy with his sister," Clay said.

"Shit," Wade muttered. "Anya's on the rag."

"She'd want to pet things more than log them in," Xander agreed. "I can do it by myself. Just check on me every few hours." They snorted.

"That's a really good way to get kidnaped," Clay pointed out dryly.

"I'll destroy them like I would anyone else who took me." Xander shrugged. "I have my sword on me. I have a few guns. And hey, maybe it'll be that other Xander and we'll swap some of it to stuff I want."

Wade gave him a dirty look. "No. You're outside the house's protections. There's no telling who'd get a bright idea."

"I'll be fine. You guys don't want to help me so go do Clay and Wade things." He carried his laptop toward the back wall of the warehouse. "Bring me lunch, Wade."

Wade glared at his back. "You'll never get it done today."

"Maybe I'll summon some imps," he quipped. "They can do that sort of work."

"And want your hair too," Clay said dryly. He left, shaking his head all the way back to his car. Wade was the minion, it was his job. Clay was going to do something to take the nasty idea of what might be in there out of his head.

Wade huffed but went to help. Xander was setting up at an antique desk that was back there. "Is this a present?"

"Yes, but we have no room for it at the house." He shrugged. "I left it in here because of that." He grinned at his assistant. "I used to have a note on it that said to leave a list saying what you left and who you were. Someone took it."

Wade just nodded, going to browse some boxes. "Someone left you living things."

Xander came over to look. "Awww, they're miniature buffalos. Only two feet high. Are they alive?"

"One's snoring." He lifted the box, wincing at the weight. Xander floated it outside for him so Wade could take it to Horatio. Then Xander went back inside. Wade put on his sunglasses shaking his head. Maybe he'd call in a favor to get someone to help him. He spotted a lurking figure. "What? The blonde let you leave?" he snorted.

"She kicked me out of LA. The newest issue is taking magic." He looked in the box then at him. "I came to check on my team."

"Jensen's with his sister today. Cougar's off watching someone evil so he can help the lab. Clay just left. Pooch is off being a daddy since Jolene turned her ankle."

"Good to know."

"Can you watch Xander, Roque? I have to take these living things to Horatio." Another box floated out. "Snakes, charming." He put them into the back of the SUV and left.

Roque walked into the warehouse, whistling at the piles. "Damn."

Xander looked at him. "Hi, Roque. You freak at the magical bs going on?"

"Yup." He walked over. "What're we doing today?"

"Inventory."

"Tax time?" Roque guessed, looking in a box. "Old books, some with moldy edges."

Xander looked then grinned. "Magic books." He felt magic going off and looked at the man strolling out of the back wall. "Hi, other me."

Roque was reaching for a knife. That other Xander was setting off all his danger instincts. "Hey," he said, nodding in greeting. "Problems?"

"Another of him got bored and wanted to hold a mini GHS Xander convention." He smirked at his counterpart.

"That sounds great. Think they want to do the inventory?" Xander asked.

"They might switch some things. The original one of you was being pouty that he wanted to redecorate and couldn't."

"Hey, we can do that," Xander agreed. "Roque, you can go play with the horses if you want," he offered with a grin.

"No thanks," he said dryly. "I'll go with you. If you get taken, two of you will get taken harder." Lavelle held up three fingers. "Three?" he demanded.

"Yeah, there's an alternate one that got deaged and reraised by the Winchesters. He's with his Dean and Sam."

"I tutor ours," Xander quipped with a grin.

"I remember." He winked. "So, you three, me, and your rabid doggy?"

"I'm not his puppy," Roque sneered.

Lavelle smirked. "I can probably protect them all by myself. After all, I am a Xander, even if I'm a dark knight."

"You're Batman?" Roque demanded, staring at him.

"No, I'm more a Shadow Knight than that particular Dark Knight."

The local Xander beamed at Roque. "He got taken in by a gunman for an apprentice."

"That's just weird," Roque said. "You can't be that way."

"I've taken out plenty of evil things," the local Xander said dryly. "He takes out the higher evil things." He shrugged. "I don't see a problem with it." He looked at his other self. "I have to get the inventory done for tax time." Lavelle shrugged and summoned some imps, who brought everything to where they were meeting, including Roque and them. "Wow, I need some of those."

Roque stared at him. "There's people who'd beg to do that for you, kid."

"I know. But they have complications that summoning imps wouldn't."

"Maybe." He looked at the other two. One looked slightly older. One looked a bit younger. All three had the hair. "So, are they all trained like you were?" he asked.

Xander shrugged, looking at his counterparts. "Roque wanted to know if you guys trained in the dance and the temple of Ares."

"I was," the slightly younger Xander said with a grin. "Strife arranged it for us. We all took lessons."

"That's really cool. I'd like to see Dean and Sam do that." He looked at the other one.

"I learned the sword dancing stuff on a trip but we kinda traipsed around a few times. Oz and I get better when we're away from home for a bit."

"You're with Oz?' the other three Xanders asked. Followed by Roque.

"Yeah? You're not?"

"I'm with Dean and Sam, who're demon hunters," the younger one said with a grin.

"I'm with Danny and Don, who're from New York." They all grimaced. "Huh. Interesting. All of us did time at Devi's?" They all nodded. "Did you guys get to go back to Sunnydale?" The slightly older one raised his hand. "They told me not to go home," the Miami Xander said.

"One of the other working boys cursed me with a deaging curse," the other Xander said. The imps brought up all the boxes of stuff. "Ooh, inventory?"

"Yeah, tax time," he sighed. "We can switch if you guys like something." They nodded and settled in to go over things with Lavelle giving opinions on how much various jewels were worth.

"Why all the girl stuff?" Roque asked.

"Because they want us to be femme," Lavelle said dryly. "Lupin does it to me too. That's why I have the Deermere choker." All three GHS Xanders moaned. "No, we had our own kids," he said dryly. "I'm not immie like you guys are." The Miami Xander hugged him. "Thanks."

"You needed it. They need to treat you better. You can come stay with us," he offered with a grin.

"Two Xanders on one world might bring trouble," Roque reminded him.

"There's a few where I got split," Lavelle said smugly. "That was a later Sunnydale thing they didn't go through." Roque shuddered. "Yup, that made us twin Xanders." He beamed.

"Jesus," he muttered, walking off. "Stuff to drink?"

Lavelle brought some. "Lupin won't mind the liquor stash disappearing much." They grinned and got drinks to chat over ideas to help each other, gossip over present givers they had fought off, and go over the various histories. Lavelle put in his ten cents about some of them and how they had died in his world. Including the ones he had taken out. They fussed over him. It was good for them.

***

Wade showed back up and found the warehouse completely empty, except for the desk that now had a sign that said 'be right back'. He called Clay. "The warehouse is empty, including of Xander." He hung up and called Horatio to tell him the same thing. "Proves Roque's not that great after all," he muttered, walking over to look at the desk. "Oh, shit," he muttered, calling Clay back. "Cancel the 911, that Lavelle Xander took him to meet with two other GHS Xander's somewhere. They did bring Roque with him. No, he showed up. Apparently the current problem out there is creeping him out." He hung up. Horatio opened the door and walked in. Wade walked the note over to him.

Horatio read it and grimaced. "That is probably not a good idea for whichever realm they're on." He looked up. "We want him back in one piece," he called. Two new boxes showed up. "I do not want presents and neither does Xander." One disappeared. "What is that one?"

Wade walked over to look then laughed. "Someone thinks you need a tiara, Horatio." He held it up to show him the ruby and diamond tiara. It was plain stones, not girlish, but it would look nice in his hair.

"I'll get a trim tonight," he said, running a hand over his hair. "I do not accept. I'm married," he called. It disappeared from Wade's hands. They shared a look and Horatio sighed, shaking his head. He took off his sunglasses to rub his eyes. "Any idea where they may be?"

Clay stomped in with Cougar. "Where are they?" Wade handed over the note. He snorted. "Roque would stab a playful Xander."

"He did watch ours," Horatio reminded him. "He hung around for over two months watching Xander and you team."

Wade looked around as furniture suddenly appeared. "French colonial but not antique." It disappeared a minute later. He looked up. "Would Xander like that?" he called. A small demon appeared with a clipboard. "Yes?"

The demon scowled at him. "You should not be in here."

"This warehouse belongs to Xander and I work for him," Wade told him. "Not whoever."

"Xander is my Mistress' consort. It belongs to him if she wishes it to."

"Xander is in a relationship with two males," Horatio said dryly.

"He doesn't like women," Clay added. "And he doesn't belong to any demon. He's on the High Council." The smaller demon snorted. Cougar called someone and they showed up, scowling at the demon. "He seems to think that Xander belongs to his mistress."

"We'll see about that," he said, snatching the demon off. He came back ten minutes later humming and smiling. He handed Wade a scroll. "For him to approve of. She tried to claim him and realized she's inferior."

"Xander is meeting with two other GHS Xanders and Lavelle somewhere."

The stand-in for Xander on the High Council shuddered. "Three of them at once?"

"Four. Lavelle is another Xander. One who made it through the end of Sunnydale."

"Oh, dear." He took the scroll to find his boss. "Lord Xander," he said as he appeared. Lavelle, he had to be, glared at him and reached for a gun. "Hold, please. I sit in his spot on the Council." His Xander looked at him. He handed over the scroll. "You need to approve of this settlement from the one who was insane."

Xander took it to read over, snorting. "No, not acceptable. She releases everything of mine she tried to claim, she pays me back, and then she disappears forever from my view." He accepted some paper from his younger self, writing out a counter. He handed it over. "Or I'll go destroy her later."

"Yes, Lord Xander." He looked at them then at his boss. "The harem is starting to get worried."

"We're fine," Xander promised. "Really."

"You can tell his worrywart harem that I'll protect them," Lavelle said dryly.

Roque snorted. "You're a Xander too. Trouble is drawn to you like it is them, even without the hormones." He looked at the demon. "I'll guard 'em."

"Yes, Roque. Thank you as well, Alternate Xander." He disappeared, going back to that demon realm first and then back to the warehouse. He created a viewing portal.

Clay looked. "They all have the hair. It is a disease attached to the hormones." Cougar tried not to laugh.

"Lavelle has shoulder-length hair," Wade pointed out. "Even though it's white."

"Why?" Horatio asked.

"I believe it was due to the demon taint he carries," the demon said. An envelope appeared at his feet so he picked it up to look at it. He sighed. "The Clan of Vartrax took her out."

"Does Xander own their realm?" Clay quipped.

"No. They shouldn't want Lord Xander. They're asexual egg layers. They don't have warriors. They're very studious, priestly sorts." He left to talk to them. He was thankful for their help but he had no idea why. Why was always important around Lord Xander.

Horatio watched the three Xanders coo over Lavelle. "They clearly think he needs some fussing," he said quietly. Cougar nodded, he was watching too.

"Xander's pulling out pictures of the pets?" Wade asked with a snort. "They're not kids."

"They wouldn't let him adopt," Clay reminded him. "When he does, that's going to be one tough yet spoiled kid." Wade shuddered. "Maybe he'll adopt some serial killer."

"Still a bad idea."

"Until then, his kids are the pets," Clay pointed out. "See, the other Xander has them too." Wade groaned. "Ours just has more."

"Maybe they don't own farms," Horatio said.

"I just saw the name Oz repeated," Clay said.

"Friend of theirs," Wade said. "Used to date Rosenburg. He's with him?"

"Apparently," Horatio agreed. Chairs appeared and they glared at the ceiling together. Then they disappeared and left softer, marshmallow looking chairs. Cougar sat on the floor instead. They sat and Clay figured out he couldn't get up first. But that was fine for now. He texted Pooch so he was aware it was a problem but not a total one as of that moment. Then they settled in to watch the four Xanders fuss at each other. And apparently trade recipes. They were swapping stuff for some of the inventory stuff too.

For some reason the older looking Xander had a lot of Indian-themed art. Especially fabric art.

The younger one had a lot of water-colored stones.

Lavelle was apparently a packrat. He had a lot of kimonos, art, jewels, comics, and anime. And weapons.

Horatio shook his head. "At least it's handguns and not artillery."

"We hope," Wade corrected. He shifted and realized he couldn't really move. "Where did these abysmal failures of furniture come from?" The demon place-sitter appeared with a note.

"Oh, that older Xander found them off world." He considered it then looked down at Wade.

"Don't look at me. I've seen other planes but not other worlds."

Horatio shook his head. "I haven't either. Though I believe that if we asked that nice military person who showed up....." All the former military guys glared at him. Horatio smirked. "If underground rumors our Xander has heard are correct, then there is that possibility that it is their job."

"How did they meet?" Wade demanded.

"Through a kidnaping that got Tony DiNozzo married off for all of ten minutes. We were dropping Hubert off with a dragonish stepmother but he has reappeared and decided to stay, bad moods and all. He reappeared in DC and it took Abby and Garcia nearly a month to tell Xander. He was hogging his harem."

Wade just nodded. "I like the little lizard but he's just a bit strange."

"Sometimes," Cougar agreed. Hubert liked to try to steal his hat. The ferrets liked to try to hide underneath it. He wasn't sure why they were so fascinated by hats.

"He does pick some smart women," Clay said. Cougar and Wade both nodded at that. Garcia and Abby were sexily smart and a bit scary at times. "Aww, they're changing out gifts."

"Maybe he'll get some ideas," Wade decided. "How to do something beyond sell them." He pulled out his phone and looked up something then tossed it at Clay's head. Clay caught it and read the letter he had a picture of. Clay grunted and threw it back. "Someone in the Middle East."

"I'm glad we spent so much time there before. Makes it easier to find the little hidden palaces now."

"Did you guys want the keys to the compound Max has out there under the desert?" Wade asked dryly. "That way you have a base of operations?"

"We heard it was overrun with a native tribe," Clay said sarcastically.

"If so they'd better move. I inherited it."

"Did he actually have a will?" Horatio asked. "Men like that never seem to."

"No, but it's whichever minion claims it and stays alive gets it in those circumstances. Since they all don't want to kill me, I can claim anything of his that I want that they don't have." Horatio stared at him. "No, not fully legal but half of them are in alternate names anyway."

"It'd be like a warlord defeating another one and taking over his compound. As long as he pays all local bribes, it happens," Clay told him. Horatio just nodded at that. "Aww, they're sharing pictures of students now."

"Since Lavelle said that one was dating Winchesters," Wade said dryly. "Maybe they're encouraging ours to take in both bobsy twins of hunting."

"Don would throw a fit," Horatio admitted.

"Don needs less hours," Wade corrected. "Because he's been working overtime again." Clay nodded. Cougar nodded faster. "He hit on you?" he taunted with an evil smirk. Cougar shook his head. "Jensen again?" Cougar shook his head again. "Then how is he not backed up?"

"Battery operated 'Anya friend'," Cougar said bluntly. Wade moaned, shaking his head.

Clay snickered. "He does have a lot of 'friends of Anya'."

"She has more than he does," Wade complained. Horatio gave him a patient look. "I cut her down again. She threatened to sleep with them instead. She's very happily napping off the spanking of her life this morning for threatening to cheat with someone on the beach."

"It's nice that Harriet's still around sometimes," Clay said with a smirk. "Thanks, Wade."

"She only wanted to play with Anya anyway."

Horatio pointed. "That's a different Xander, without the hair, who is clearly from Miami since I'm escorting him. And there's Greg Sanders too." They stared.

"He's tougher," Clay said.

Wade nodded. "He's standing like some dominatrix I know too." They all gave him an odd look. "I took some lessons once to learn how to torture more effectively." He smirked.

"Las Vegas' night shift lab works with one now and then," Horatio admitted. "Lady Heather."

"I took some lessons when she was," Wade admitted. "Same teacher."

Clay shook his head. "I'm glad our country didn't want us to learn that." Cougar gave him a dirty look. "Can you imagine Roque going to one to learn?" Cougar nodded. "I can't. Or Jensen."

"They only sent the ones with skills," Wade said smugly. He smirked at them. "None of the ones on your team are that good, Clay."

"Bet me. Roque can get nearly anyone to spill anything."

Cougar nodded. "He even gets Jensen to shut up sometimes."

Horatio snickered. "Boys like Jensen and Xander are fun to be around, but you learn to filter what you're hearing when they babble. We used to have a lab tech that did that."

"Calleigh can when Xander feeds her chocolate habit and gives her a new piece of artillery," Clay quipped.

"Dean does enjoy handing those over. He claims she bounces." The guys all nodded. Horatio smirked back. "Can they see us?"

"Probably not," Wade said. He shifted. "How are you supposed to get out of these things?"

"Helpers?" Clay guessed. "It'd keep down the aggression during meetings."

"You definitely can't stealthily pull a weapon," Wade agreed. "We need to make some of these for diplomatic things between tribal leaders."

"Jensen would call it 'sit, stay, talk, good warlords'," Clay quipped.

"It might help," Horatio said with a small shrug. More boxes appeared but they had disappeared from there. Wade moaned but they had writing on the outside of them. An inventory list, that was nice of the imps. It'd make their jobs much easier. "Is that a picture of the antique bed?" Wade looked and nodded with a groan. "I know Xander's been looking for new sheets for that thing."

"That double-king sized bed's sheets are just a bit too short and about two inches too narrow," Wade sighed. "He has to get them specially made to order. He could use another boxspring too." Clay moaned, shaking his head. "And possibly another mattress."

"Could he use that size and just pad the end?" Horatio suggested.

"Maybe. He's not sure it'll look right."

"Less room for the dogs," Clay pointed out.

"I had him talk to the guys who made the specialty beds for those who like their horses for other reasons," Wade said with a smug look at Clay. Clay shuddered. "He did the same thing about that thought but they were less expensive and had a sturdy product that didn't squeak."

Horatio shook his head. "Is he working to end them?"

"Yup. When he went looking for the company I suggested, google came up with all sorts of horse play sites. He made a list and wrote someone that they were evil to animals. Told PETA too I think." Cougar nodded. "Is that who he went to lunch with?" Cougar nodded. "Figures. Did he bring Hubert to make them gooey minded?"

"Yup," Clay said. "Jensen told us about the lunch." He looked over. "Why is he hiring some of the retired spooks?"

"For around town guarding since you guys aren't his personal guards," Wade told him. "That way you can keep Jensen and Cougar more often."

"Ah. Well, I guess they can handle guarding around town since almost no one would touch him anyway."

"I swear he found our answer to James Bond," Wade told him. Clay moaned, shaking his head. "So you've met Peter?"

"Yes," he complained. "He does a bad impersonation too."

"Jimmy," Cougar said.

"Yeah, that's true, Jimmy is the better version of him. Is he down here?" Cougar nodded. "Has he met Xander?" Cougar shook his head. "Introduce them. I have the feeling Jimmy might know some other GHS and he's damn useful to have around." Cougar nodded he could do that.

"Jimmy who?" Horatio asked.

"Jimmy Hellar," Wade said. "He'll gay bash."

"He won't. Xander will kick his ass," Clay countered.

"We'd rather not have to make Xander mad," Horatio reminded them. Sometimes those two fought like teenagers. He wasn't sure why but he was feeling parental about them again. Even though Clay and Wade were both about his age.

"He has the same sort of arms contracts, can probably give ideas to his pet engineering team, and likes fast cars too," Clay told him. "He'll get over Xander being gay because Jimmy's just as gay. He's hidden it really well but there was that moron in Tibet and the other one in Morocco."

"That last one was lying to get attention," Wade countered. "I helped set that up."

"Is he?" Clay asked.

"Yeah, Max always thought he was. Max never understood gay men or why they'd be gay, but if they were the best he wanted them safely on his side or out of his way."

"Good to know he thought we were," Clay quipped with an evil smirk.

"He would've went for the other team but they were in the wrong spot."

Clay nodded. "I can agree they're just as big of jackasses as we were but they're less effective overall. Some of their targets come back."

"We heard," Wade snorted. "Then they took leave to go fix it. Without pay."

"We handle it whenever we're back near there."

"Once," Cougar agreed.

"It did only happen once. They had it happen three times."

"They were a team longer and had more missions," Wade countered.

"True. All nearing retirement too. Think they'd like to be a retrieval team?" Wade burst out cackling, having to roll onto his knees so he could get up and walk outside to finish off in peace. Cougar gave him a dirty look then handed over the protein bar he carried. "Thanks, Cougs." He ate it, watching the trio of troublesome Xanders talk. "Dom Xander there is apparently getting gifts too." Horatio whimpered. "And he's sitting in the you there's lap, Horatio."

"It would be an exciting match but I prefer the quietness I get from Speed."

"Xander would be hell on the nerves to date. Even without the hormones. He'd still probably get into trouble and things." Horatio nodded. Wade came back in. "That one's Horatio's and possibly Greg's."

"Good to know it takes two people to wear out a normal Xander too," Wade quipped. He sat on the floor. It was easier to get up. "Aww, he's showing them how to use a whip."

"As long as ours doesn't want to become Indiana Jones," Clay said.

Wade shuddered. "I can imagine trying to keep him safe on one of those sort of trips."

"With our Xander's luck, he'd walk into the desert, find a missing tomb that was still intact, and have high enough hormones that they give him some of it," Horatio sighed.

"He wants to visit Cairo some day," Wade told him. "I had to talk to him about gay things being bad in the Middle East again." He looked. "There's more showing up."

"It's a convention of Xanders?" Clay guessed. Internally he was swearing and worried. Roque couldn't handle that if something happened.

"It's a breach of the Geneva Convention," Wade corrected. "Because that many at once has to be torturing that realm. Why does that one have wings and who are the white furry one and the tan furry one?"

"I saw them on a cartoon," Cougar said in Spanish. "But that's not Vinnie." They stared at him. "Jensen."

"Figures. What are they?"

"Martian mice."

Wade looked that up online and moaned. "No, that's not the white one from the cartoon and he looks awfully attached to the tan one that was on the cartoon." He put his phone away. "Look, twins," he quipped sarcastically. "Had to happen somewhere."

"Does that mean somewhere there's been a wish made for a ton of tiny little Xanders who act like Jiminy Cricket?" Horatio asked dryly. They all glared at him. "What? It's possible with Xander." They went back to watching the portal. They found the winged one staring back. "Why does he have wings?" That Xander just winked and the portal closed. They groaned. The place-sitter for Xander's seat on the High Council showed up looking confused. "A Xander with wings closed it."

"Wings?" he asked, considering it.

"Gray, fluffy, angel wings," Wade said.

"Sividia? How did Lord Xander turn into one of the generals of Hells' armies?" He considered it, shaking his head. "The portal was closed so they can safely go out of time for a bit, gentlemen. That way they're all safe and no one wants to interrupt them."

"There were over sixty Xanders," Horatio told him. That one looked ready to cry.

"Including a twin set of Xanders and one with a laptop who seemed to never notice anything and one with a very familiar guy guarding him and looking paranoid."

He checked then nodded. "That one with the guard is their president. He accidentally visited before and the writer one has gotten confused with yours in the past. Some sent him some presents." They moaned, shaking their heads. "Lord Sividia Xander and Lord Lavelle both left a note saying that they'd be back in a bit. They're holding a threat assessment and information sharing event. And helping groom Lord Sividia Xander's wings for him." He disappeared. Because even the thought of a Sividia Xander was giving him a headache. He traced that realm, finding two. He stared. The other he showed up to. "Lord Xander, there are other Xander's having a convention that you need to attend."

"I can't. It could warp those portals open again," the very young Xander said.

"They are out of time," he said, taking him and leaving a note. He would come back in a few hours at the most but it appeared helpful. And he could meet those whose memories he now shared. He appeared, handing him to Lord Sividia Xander. "Sire, your missing one. It may help him calm down some of the memories."

He grinned. "Thank you. Tell that Xander's harem that they're just fine and nothing can touch them up here but we're sharing ideas, who freaks us out, and stories." He nodded and left to tell the harem that. He smiled. "So you're the one she did that too."

He sighed and sat down with a nod. "I am."

"Wings out," another one said.

"If this one needs groomed and he has an evil Sam to do it, you probably do too since you don't have an evil Sam," Lavelle said. He took off his shirt and let the wings come out. The GHS Xanders all came over to preen them for him, making him shiver, sigh, and nearly get off. Sividia Xander nudged him and grinned. He got a grin back.

Yeah, this was a great Xander convention and it didn't come with an apocalypse. Which was kinda nice to them.

Writer Xander looked around as President Xander said something in his ear. "Shit, Olivia!" he shouted, looking around. "Guys, I need Olivia. She's at home alone."

"You have a kid?" one asked. "That's wonderful!"

"She's Willow's but they're kinda on another realm by force of some jealous witches. She's only a year and a half and I have a pool." Sividia Xander went to get her and brought her back. She was staring at his wings, trying to capture one. "Was she being good?"

"She was getting a snack in the fridge. I shut it and left a note for you." He handed her over then turned and let her pat his feathers.

Xander grinned. "Those are feathers. He has pretty wings, huh, Olivia?" She beamed at that Unclie and hugged him. They settled in to fuss over her too. There weren't too many Xanders with kids. They weren't sure why but there weren't.

***

When the portal opened, Xander smiled at the ones waiting. "Hi, guys." He took the bag and kissed the other hims on the cheek. He kissed the other two GHS Xanders on the lips and then Lavelle too because he was naughty and enjoyed it.

Lavelle smirked and winked. "Good luck, Xander. And hey, something to keep you from being bored."

"Yeah, I hope it turns out okay. Did you really like that one scene? I know it's all smut."

"If writer Xander could write smut like that he'd be very happy," Lavelle reminded him. "He's envious because he can't write smut, just really good books." The local Xander grinned and nodded. "Oh, and remember the other stuff we taught you." They shared a look and that Xander beamed. "Good boy. Let me walk you across."

"Let me," Sividia Xander said. "No one's going to touch me."

"What are you?" Wade asked.

"Sividia thanks to Willow." He smirked. "That's a general in Hell's armies. I took over Sunnydale as a sanctuary. I'm married to my Sam Winchester, who's just tainted enough that I don't have to worry about hurting him but he has some *great* ideas about wing foreplay." He walked that Xander and his three bags across. "There you go." He smirked. "Keep in practice. Summon if you need something." Xander nodded with a grin. "And pounce your boys. They clearly need a wakeup call." He winked and walked back across, sending over three boxes and another bag. Then the portal disappeared.

Xander beamed. "The other GHS Xander, the older one, he did forging work."

"Like documents?" Clay asked.

"Like swords and jewelry."

"Wouldn't the hair get in the way?" Wade asked.

"Not really so much if it's braided back. He's even made diplomatic presents when the SGC guys needed some." He beamed. "Oh! And we *have* to work on setting up Blair with a nice guy he had with them. Both the other GHS Xander had them together and they were a happy couple."

"Jim?" Wade asked patiently.

"Put up with it?" He shrugged. He flopped down in front of him with a grin. "The twin Xanders were really cool. They were split a few years before the fall of Sunnydale. They went to Africa, like President Xander did, but they came back and started an artillery design company." He pulled out something, holding it up. "It's got a range setting and then it'll explode."

Wade took it to look over, then stared at him. "That's really weird."

Clay snatched it to look over. "Probably a bit handy as a diversion."

"Or if whoever's attacking you from a car. They've done that before. It's a really powerful explosive and I've got notes for my engineers." He beamed. "There was one that Willow accidentally on purpose turned into a baby that reraised by Ironman." Horatio whimpered then shook his head. "Yeah, wish demon but it helped. He's a really good engineer and he explained things to me too." He beamed at Wade. "So I need a forge to do jewelry work. That can be smaller and I need the tools." Wade nodded once. "And it means I can use all those damn stones."

"Sure," he decided. "We'll see where you get one and look at what they have." Xander beamed and wiggled. "What else did you do?"

"Olivia was so cute!" he cooed. "She's a year and a half. She hates to walk but she'll crawl everywhere if possible. Her mommy taught her to make the poopy face to send demons away. She was so cute!" Wade shuddered and started to scratch. Xander hugged him. "Winged Xander's wings are really soft. Both of them."

"There were two?" Horatio asked.

"Yeah, on one world, Willow did this viewing across the realms things and accidentally got him possessed by about seven of us." Horatio shuddered. "I felt magic that night but I wasn't sure why. Now I am. He has my memories, Sividia Xander's memories, and one that was raised by an assassin. Apparently my parents were his aunt and uncle." Wade just nodded. "He was taking out legal targets sort and upping his training in Sunnydale. They had a Triad move in." Clay shuddered. "So they killed them all." He grinned. "It was a demonic Triad. We have them but they're up in Cascade mostly right now." He looked at Wade again. "The other GHS Xander could even make his own hair things. Oooh! And he found the neatest thing! It was used on him but it was so neat. Ever grow scissors. Anything you cut grows back twice as much." Wade moaned and shook his head. "He found them off world when someone used them on him. He had to get Ares to help." He grinned. "He has ferrets and puppies and kitties."

"You have plenty of pets with the horses," Horatio said.

"He didn't have horses. Or the younger, regrown one. He only had dogs but he's going to beg his Dean and Sam for ferrets when he found out they were neat." He grinned. "Writer Xander has four cats and Olivia. President Xander has slobbery Saint Bernards." Wade just nodded. "Sividia Xander has Dean as a pet," he said with a grin. "And a little caretaker demon who cooks and things. Plus a *huge* ass roman style tub to soak in because of his wings. And a hammock so they can play up there."

"That's great if you have wings," Wade said. "You don't."

"There's spells."

"Anya will be jealous."

"Maybe."

"Rosenburg will show up again," Clay said. "Speaking of, where's Roque?"

"Talking with Lavelle. He somehow managed to accidentally turn his contacts list into a super connected syndicate group that runs most of the world without people knowing." Wade moaned, shaking his head. "He found one house in Mexico that'd be really neat if we could have it. It has underground storage areas, it's got a wall that opens and lets in fish to the underground lagoon during high tide." He looked at Wade. "It's got hidden areas."

"I'll look it up," he said. Xander beamed. "Anything else come of it?"

"The twin Xanders weren't the only ballistic CSI. Though one's also a profiler. A few of them were and they all seemed to know Horatio and Mac Taylor up in New York's labs. I told them they're down here now and they all thought Horatio did a great thing. Some of them trained here, then went there. One trained in Vegas then came to Chicago then New York. He was married to a grumpy Trace tech in Vegas. One of them took demon ballistics classes. He had someone pull his books. I have a copy of those, Horatio." That got a nod. Xander smiled. "They're an accredited program. Most of them went to school instead of Africa. Except the twins." He looked at Wade again then at Clay. "I met one that's your nephew. Are you related to Tony Harris?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"You, John, and he shared a father."

"John... Dean and Sam's father?" he asked, catching the clue. Xander beamed and nodded. "That's weird."

"I had you show up for grad. You got me calmed down there after I spent a few years in Africa with the slayers." Clay nodded that was a good idea, muttering it'd help. "I ended up doing the reservations, shipping needed stuff, that stuff job."

"There's a few that do that," Cougar said.

"He worked for someone named Marcia?"

"Know her," Clay and Wade both said.

"If your hormones would come down that's not a bad job for you," Clay admitted. "What other Xanders were there?"

"There were all sorts. President Xander and Lavelle both taught some self-defense classes of stuff we didn't get. I knew a good deal but Lavelle trained with a samurai. President Xander learned a lot from John Sheppard. Who was his predecessor. It was Jack O'Neill and John, then John and the me there, then me and Evan Lorne, who's on his project. All their politicians everywhere had been assassinated. Down to the cabinet and all that. A peace seeking clan of demons decided that was the only way to get peace in the world." Horatio moaned.

He grinned. "The writer Xander had more blood toxins than I do thanks to Wolfram and Hart. Or at least he had a demon plague that I didn't. The twins were ignoring that talk. They had Graham Miller, from the Initiative crappile, as their assistant, and Tony DiNozzo as their XO for their artillery design firm." He took a breath and considered it. "Most of the CSI Xanders, outside the twins, could not cook. And the one that got the memories wasn't sure if he got that sometimes or not, but they could make jell-o poisonous. Just mix and heat stuff too.

"We have no idea why but they even used their cookies offensively. The two that got sent to Miami and New York right after grad too. Though one had a breath spray that was stronger than anything and could peel paint. And a jerky that gave you the runs for a week but it made you so horny you would screw a cactus. Someone did." He considered it. "Both of those ended up with Horatio, though one ended up with Horatio and Greg. He's a dom." He grinned. "He taught me how to use a whip." They nodded.

"The other one thought that was really neat and their grandparents are vampires. Or were vampires actually. Really old, non-feeding vampires. And there was one of those that they got custody of as a little guy and raised. He was an international model." Wade just nodded again. "He was with Horatio too." He grinned at Horatio. "One of the CSI me, the one took demon ballistics lessons, ended up with Speed as his white lighter. And then his boyfriend. When he descended, John Hagen got appointed at his white lighter. He showed up to complain, a lot." He shifted. "The other CSI me that showed up was with Tony. He started his internship at NCIS and then moved to Miami. He bought that mausoleum house, Horatio."

"That's a very odd house but comfortable if you do it right." He was still trying to get his head around all he was hearing. Because Xander was on babble level twelve and running things together again.

"He had a whippet puppy that Abby stole and then another lab puppy but a red one that went home with you because it thought you were a littermate. You were with Speed and Eric there." Horatio shook his head quickly but he was smiling. "And then my final puppy that no one was able to steal. They moved Gibbs' team down to the local office."

"Greg and Tony might like that," Horatio said. "Were there others?"

Xander beamed. "There were over three hundred of us, Horatio." Wade shuddered. "And we didn't have a bit of trouble!" He beamed at Clay and Cougar. "Not one person wanting to take us or anything. So maybe I need another me here. The twin ones don't get gifted or snatched, but now and then they do date bad guys. A lot of us dated bad guys."

"You have better taste now, kid," Clay assured him. Xander nodded with a smirk. "Wouldn't you get in trouble if you did that wing spell?"

Xander sent a prayer to Cupid, who appeared looking confused. "Huh?" he asked. Xander got up to bounce and tell him about Sividia Xander and the other Xander that had sucked up part of Sividia Xander, and how they both had wings and enjoyed it a whole lot. Cupid put a hand on Xander's head to make him quit bouncing. "I don't mind," he said. "But my wings aren't that reactive." Xander got free and walked around him, then breathed on one, making him shiver and get hard. "Oh, that's nice, Xander."

Xander leaned his chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear. "Evil Sam came up with that idea for his Sividia Xander."

"I'm going to use that later." He kissed him. "I don't mind as long as it's not a permanent one. You'd hate them all the time." He disappeared. "Strife, Xander has naughty ideas after over three hundred different Xanders got together," he called, stalking him. "Lube yourself, get naked, and make me hunt you, babe."

Xander beamed. "So I can try that later."

"They both have Saturday off, Xander," Horatio said. "Do it Friday. That way you make sure you have what you need."

"Okay!" he agreed, beaming at him.

Wade stared at him. "You're not backed up so why are you so hyper?"

"I'm full of Xander energy!" He nearly sparkled with it.

"Does that get worn out the same way?" Clay asked Horatio, who shrugged. "Kid, calm down. Before you bounce yourself into a coma?"

"He's not allowed to die ever again," Wade said slowly and clearly. "Or else that tumor comes back!"

"I apologized for taking you and Anya to Disney," Xander said, giving him a cuddle. "I'm sorry I tortured you, Wade." He smiled at Horatio. "They gave me some great ideas and I got copies of all of writer Xander's books." He beamed. Horatio nodded. "He's a fantasy writer."

"Wonderful." He looked at what had come back. It had inventory on the boxes. "What's in the bags?"

"Oh! One's stuff I made during the other GHS Xander's lessons. And the other one is stuff we exchanged." He beamed. "That Xander got to travel a whole lot, Wade, and recommended some really nice places in India and to see if we have a nexus point house here. If so we need to make sure it's in good hands."

"This coast?" Wade asked.

"By Carmel."

"We'll look it up when we look up the other house." Xander beamed and nodded. "How do you *accidentally* create a syndicate that can take over the world?"

"He made friends here and there, helped with some advice, solved some problems. Bought a few companies." He beamed. "They're retiring to an island he had set up with thirty totally willing pros of both sexes for his boys and the kids." Horatio gaped. "That way he doesn't have to worry about Lupin straying. They built them a huge house, put up beaches and tsunami protections. Put up an apartment building for the pros that hired on. They're regular employees who can say no. There's masseuses and all that. Oh! And Lavelle had to help his buddy Ray up in Chicago, which is down here with Adam, by going to solve some of their problems by being a pretend Mountie for a few days." He beamed. "It horrified a lot of people."

"Would me too," Wade assured him. "What was the other bouncy one doing?"

"He was part of Interpol's team that Zenigata formed to help catch Lupin and other major threats. Him, his former partner Ray. Fraser but he had snapped and tried to hurt one of the kids so he got sent home in shame." He beamed and leaned down. "Lavelle had a crossover event that led him to he HP world. His kids actually managed to rob something from Gringotts. He was so proud. Oh! And I know where his choker is in this world. We have to make sure it *never* comes near me. Because it not only changes sex but it's a chaos artifact and with the right spell I could be fertile, immie or not. He had his kids for the most part. Though a few are Goemon's."

Wade stared at him. "If you suddenly get pregnant, I'll retire."

"I don't want to be pregnant, Wade. Ever! Really, never ever!" He gave him a look. "Which is why we have to find the choker and make sure it's hidden from everyone else. I wouldn't mind the illusion characteristics it had. He could change into anyone he wanted to and even a girl. He had all sorts of alternate identities worked out."

"It must come in handy in his life," Wade agreed. "You as a girl would be strange, Xander."

"He showed us. I'm a really hot girl." He found the picture in his phone. "That's Olivia," he said with a grin, showing Horatio. "She had her with a guy named Daniel who's Irish due to the retribution curse for her cheating on Tara with Anya. Anya became a nun." He smirked at Wade and handed him a letter. "From that Xander to her." He found that picture. "That's Sylvia." He showed him. "That's Lavelle as a girl."

They all stared. "She's hot, dangerous, and has a nice set," Clay said with a shiver.

"Lavelle said if his boys don't treat him better he's coming back here." He grinned. "He can be Sylvia. I told him about you. The Xander that had you as an uncle did too. He wanted to meet you anyway." He beamed. "I was a good boy."

"Who were the furry ones?" Wade asked, not going to debate that statement.

"That Xander and his boy Throttle." Wade moaned, shaking his head. "He even has a Martian AI bike. It was so cool. Sividia Xander brought it up so the twin Xanders could look at it and design some new weapons for it. Huge black bike. I want one of those but our Mars probably isn't the same."

"Probably not," Wade agreed. "Kowalski would complain about furry Martian bikers more than Mounties."

"Probably, yeah." He grinned. "Willow did a spell when she became the Guardian for the Seal in Sunnydale. That way Xander could be happily with his boy. So he slowly turned into a baby mouse and then had to age up. He was still his right age but the mouse things had to age." Wade just nodded. "It was really interesting and he's *really* soft." He grinned. "We brushed him. For them it's like foreplay. And his bike liked me. The twin Xanders are going to think about using that sort of AI in vehicles."

"Sure, it might help in battle," Wade agreed. Clay gave him a dirty look. Cougar was moaning and holding his head. "He saw the cartoon."

"They're pretty tough big guys. Throttle's just a bit taller than I am." He looked at Wade again. "I need dinner."

"You need to quit bouncing."

"I need dinner."

"We can get dinner on the way home," he assured him. "The tax audit?"

Xander shrugged. "Not a problem." He pointed at the boxes. "Everything else I'm going to be using." He beamed a manic grin. "Do you think Anya would like something I made for her birthday?"

"I think she'd love it, kid." He stood up. "Home?"

"Home is good." He smiled and hauled Cougar up. "Are you coming with us? I get to tell Sam and Dean about the other thems and the Evil Sam."

"I'm sure they'll be thrilled," Horatio said. He let Xander hug him. "I'm glad it was a good Xander convention."

"We're doing it yearly." He beamed and bounced out with Wade, babbling about food things.

Horatio looked at Clay. "I'll warn Danny and Don that they'll need to calm him down."

"I'll send Jensen." Cougar nodded quickly. Roque appeared in a flash of light, looking amused. "You good?"

"I'm pretty decent. Lavelle had some really wicked ideas and clearly needed a better man than a skinny dork of a thief." He stared at him. "Ours? He was on a magic high."

"Bouncing beside Wade on the way to get dinner," Clay said. "I'm sending Jensen to him in a minute."

"They had a huge Xander hug pile." Clay shuddered. "They mutually decided if there's a mass realm apocalypse that destroys them all, they're coming here. Apparently one Xander got hold of a time displacement device." Horatio gave him a horrified look. "Totally Dr. Who, yeah. Even met him. Called him Obi-Wan."

Clay held up a hand before that thought caused seizures to start. "The one I'm the uncle of?"

He held up the pictures he had taken from the boy's pictures. "That one he got a copy from his Uncle John."

Clay stared. "That's my Uncle, not my father.... So maybe John Winchester and I are related." He handed it back and walked off rubbing his head. "Cougar, you drive. I have a migraine."

Cougar nodded. "Me too."

"I'll drive. I'm still apparently the better commando because I survived three-hundred-and-three Xanders."

"Can you drop me at the lab?" Horatio asked, following them. "Before my head explodes?" Roque smirked and they all got into the crime lab hummer. He dropped off his former teammates and then Horatio, taking a cab to Xander's house to watch him bounce around. He had learned a lot of appreciation for Xander. He could definitely do more than cook. Horatio walked into his office and texted Speed that he needed him. Speed came in and shut the door when he saw him taking aspirin. "There was a convention of Xanders thanks to Lavelle." He took another one and finished the bottle of water.

Speed stared at him. "Is ours okay?"

"Bouncy. Very bouncy. We learned a lot, and so did he. Including that there's one world where you died and became his white lighter, and then boyfriend. He was a ballistics CSI there."

Speed considered it. "That has to be weird."

"There's a few where I ended up with him."

"That's weirder," Speed agreed. He was grinning. "Any of them like ours?"

"Two others. Well, three, he said one got possessed partially by Willow doing something. He apparently picked up a few different Xanders."

Speed locked the door and came over to help his mate lay down and take a nap. "Shh, its all right."

"If something tries to destroy all their worlds, they're going to Lavelle's and then here."

"We can handle it. Our Xander can be as bad as twins."

"No, they're CSI and design artillery. They work with Mac apparently."

"I'm sure they're great ballistic CSI." He got Horatio calmed down. He texted Danny and Don that Xander was bouncy after going to a convention of Xanders. That way they knew to eat on the way home. He let Horatio nap on his thigh while he petted him. His poor baby probably had a migraine. Someone knocked. "Migraine," he called. They left. Someone else shoved something under the door and walked off. He looked, it looked like a case file so he'd get it when Horatio woke up. His poor husband.

***

Anya finished reading her letter and came out, sliding into her rightful spot in Wade's lap. "That me there got very stupid. I cheated on Xander with Willow, which makes me shudder at the thought of touching that pussy. I cheated and got kicked out and punished by him right before he got rich and famous. He made a *nun*, Wade!" She sniffled.

He took the letter to read, nodding at what it contained. "If you did that to me, I'd probably do worse."

She cuddled him. "There's not much worse that can be done." She looked up at him. "I was a nun. An eternally poor, non-sexual being who had to help people, think charitable thoughts, and pray." She shuddered. "It's an evil thought. Take it out of my head," she begged.

He kissed her. "I'd torture you for a good long while and then kill you."

"I'd prefer that to being a nun."

"I know." He patted her gently, letting her calm her bad thoughts using him. He had bad thoughts himself. That Xander had went truly evil, more evil than theirs at Disney. Maybe he had that brain tumor too? Or maybe Xander just had that underlying evil thought? If so, it was good Wade was helping him stay in goofy, cuddly husband mode. There didn't need to be more evil in the world. He knew that for a fact. Anya unzipped his pants and he shifted to let her have the access she wanted. She went down on him without asking for it in return. So yeah, she was really creeped out by it. Time to pull out the spectacular ideas he had for her to make her think dirty, Wade-centered thoughts again. He stood up and walked her into their bedroom, pulling out some stuff and a an eye-shade. She moaned and let him do whatever he wanted. By the time he was done, all she could moan was 'more, Wade' and that made him a happy boy.

***

Jensen came back from Xander's with a confused look and a slight headache. But he was exhausted so that was reasonable. Danny, Don, and he had all barely survived calming Xander down. Sam and Dean had whimpered at some things. He paused when he saw a ghost in the hallway. He stared. "Clay's not dead," he said.

"I'm not Clay," he growled.

"Sure. Clay?" he called. Pooch came out of his apartment, staring at the ghost. "He said he's not Clay?"

"That's got to be Dean and Sam's father."

"Oh," Jensen said with a nod. "Sorry, brain loss. I was helping Xander calm down. They're at Xander's," he said with a point. "About fifteen miles that way, Mr. Winchester. They're both okay though Sam has a slight headache after hearing what the other hims were doing." He went to his apartment and laid down once he was naked. His head was really starting to hurt.

Pooch stared at him and shrugged. "Ask the boys. We don't know anything." He went back to check on his kids. He called Clay to talk to him.

Clay opened his door, staring at him. "No wonder they thought I was you when we met," he said dryly, sipping his beer. "It's been a long day, Cousin."

"We are?" he demanded.

"If your Dad is Barry, yeah. My Mom's Hellen."

"Well, damn. Yeah, he is." He stared at him. "My boys?"

"Xander's," he said with a point. "Fifteen miles. Look for a lot of trees around a really large house. Or the really immense SUV." He took another sip. "If not, stay quiet tonight and you can follow someone over tomorrow. Because I have a migraine." He shut his door and went to bed. Not even a pretty, volatile woman would cure this migraine. Not even bisexual twins that wanted to play with him and then hurt him a lot would cure this migraine.

John Winchester huffed and looked that direction, trying to find his sons. He found the Impala but it was in a garage getting something done to the undercarriage. And clearly had a flat tire too. He refocused and looked for trees. He found a lot in Miami, which was nice. He found a mini forest around a house and went there. There was his son. He faded into view. "Son."

Sam looked up from making tea. "Hi, Dad." He grinned. "Dean, it's Dad."

"I hope that whatever headache you have was because of a stroke, Sammy," Dean called, coming into the kitchen. "Never mind, maybe we're both having one."

"Hello, son." He smiled.

Dean nodded. "We're going to come to that side and kick your ass for not telling us, Dad."

John sighed. "It never mattered to me."

"It was a pretty bad shock when we woke up that first time," Sam said dryly. He sucked on the cut he got slicing an apple, handing the thing to Dean. "Xander, how do you feel about ghosts in the house?" he called.

Xander came out of his bedroom. "That's fine, Sam. As long as they don't destroy anything because I learned a spell to go ethereal so you can kick their ass." He beamed. "Hi, John. I take very good care of your boys while I train them." He went back to bed.

"Why was he naked?" John asked.

"Because he wore his boys out for the night," Dean quipped. "Long story, Dad. Let's go up to our room."

"Sure," he decided, happy that his sons weren't following the naked one. They settled in to talk and what he heard did not amuse him but there wasn't anything he could do about it. They got to tell him a lot of what they were learning. Which was good. The sword work was handy for their other lives now. They were still hunting. He was ignoring how loud Xander was getting.

Dean looked at the floor when it got suddenly quiet. "Wade said he'd kill whoever killed Xander," he called. He grinned at his father and told him why. John was nearly whimpering and almost glad he was dead. His boys both looked happy though. Which was really strange to him. How could they be happy living like this?

The End.
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