Not Into That. by voracity

[Reviews - 13]
Printer

Chapter or Story
Table of Contents
- Text Size +

Darcy came out the next morning with her dog. Lucky and Clint, and Kate and Cutey, were behind her somewhere. She ran into an officer who didn't look pleased. "Please tell me that officer last night is okay," she begged quietly.

"He's in a quarantine ward. It was some sort of biological substance that made him horny. Would you have any idea?"

"You need to call SHIELD," she said. "HYDRA tried to dose me with one before. It has an antidote." The officer smiled and relaxed, nodding some. "Clint, call him someone," she called. "I don't have my phone on me. Conor hid it under the fridge again."

He came jogging down the stairs with Lucky. "Why?"

"That box, it had something that made officers suddenly and dangerously horny," the officer said.

"That shit's nasty," Clint told him. He looked up the number and called. "May, Barton. Someone shipped Darcy a box with what we think is the same inhibitant remover. She handed it to the cops when she didn't know what it was so they could check it and a few officers are in quarantine somewhere. Please. The officer we're talking to is from the 113 up the street from us. Thanks, May." He hung up. "She'll tell the boss and the geeks. They'll call in to the station within an hour."

"I hope they're okay," Darcy said. "You kinda have to wear it out somewhat. I did when I got hit."

The officer nodded. "I'll let them know that and someone will call. Are you all right? Any new presents?"

"Not yet," she admitted. "I woke up last night to a weird noise but no one was outside the window and I wasn't in my bedroom just in case."

"Okay. Thank you, Miss Lewis. And good instincts." He left to tell the boss that. And his other bosses who wanted to keep track of her. Pity she hadn't triggered it when it had been opened. Then maybe they'd finally get the kid they wanted to train to be their next asset. His boss wasn't pleased about what they thought it might be but that happened sometimes in this city of weirdness.

Around lunchtime, two geeks walked into the station together, smiling at the desk sergeant. "SHIELD sent us," she said politely in a British accent. "To handle the officers that got dosed by that box last night. Is the captain or whoever available?"

"I can call back, ma'am."

"I'm Dr. Simmons, this is Dr. Fitz."

He nodded and called that back. The captain came out to talk to them. Fitz shook his hand first. "That formula is highly nasty," he said in his cute little accent. "We've worked up an antidote but it has a few clauses that have to be met," he said quietly.

"You have to at least started to try to wear it out yourself, by yourself or with someone," Simmons said quietly. "We can give the antidote over easily. We would like to look at what they sent however. There's two parts and we need to see if they got both."

"I can arrange that. Let me take you to the station that has the box in quarantine and we can go to the hospital?"

"Of course," she agreed, smiling at him. "This is the third known use they've used."

He led them out to a squad car. "We kinda figured what it was for when we opened it to find about forty pounds of restraints and sex toys." Both scientists groaned and shook their heads. "And a leaking balloon tied to he box's top that let out the smoke looking stuff."

"That's obviously an idea in the making," Fitz agreed. "Why would they send her restraints?"

"They want her to be knocked up by Barnes," Simmons reminded him. "It's probably for her to feel safer."

"Or they thought she was bouncy," Fitz suggested. "She probably was when they had her kidnaped. She tends to get bouncy when she's agitated according to her files."

"That's true," Simmons said. "Who was there last night?"

"Cap'n America, both Hawkeyes, and that guy that you see sometimes on the team," the captain said.

"Probably Lang," Simmons decided. "Barnes?" He looked clueless. "One metal armed guy?"

"He's been noted hanging out in that neighborhood but we figured he was watching over the avenger and that girl. She's spunky as hell."

Simmons smiled. "Yes she is. There's a large note in her SHIELD files about her being spunky and liking tazers."

"She's got one on her door now," he agreed. "We all hope it helps. That and the dog." He got them out and into the station. "SHIELD sent 'em to look at the box."

"Just the balloon," Simmons said, pushing her hair back behind her ears. "There's two versions of the formula and we need to know which one." They led them to the room where the box was inside a plastic safe box they used on bombs. She carefully stuck in the test pad she taped to an extendable probe then counted before taking it back out and letting Fitz reseal it. "The non-lasting version. That's a great thing." She smiled at the staring officers. "There's something that can be added to it to make it last in your system even with the antidote. If you get overly excited it can come back for days on end."

"That's nasty," the captain said.

"Well, it is HYDRA," Fitz said quietly.

The officers all nodded. "We hate 'em too," one said. "The rest of us need shots?"

"No, only the exposed and if you do get exposed in the future, start to wear it out," she instructed. "Even by yourself. You have to break it at least twice for the antidote to work." The officers all nodded. "They're sneaky sorts."

"The doctor that had Darcy and Barnes was a vet so he didn't understand female human reproductive systems," Fitz told them. "They probably don't understand male ones either." The guys all laughed and the captain took them to the hospital so they could brief the doctors, running into Bruce. "Doc...Doctor Banner?" he asked.

Bruce looked and smiled. "Drs. Fitz and Simmons, this is Dr. Whelmin. He's treating those officers."

"It's the non-eternal version so the antidote will work very well as long as they've started to wear it out," she told him, shaking his hand.

"Who made this thing?" the doctor demanded.

"HYDRA or someone they stole it from," she said with a wince. "They've tried to use it a few times."

"Thankfully this version doesn't have the hiding portion that would let it pop up later," Fitz told him. "That's even nastier."

"Yes, that would be. It requires wearing out?"

"It requires you break the ...need at least twice first. It'll work before then but it won't work as well or as fast," Simmons said. She pulled up the information on it to let him see it.

"That's really warped but talking about that group it's almost synonymous," Banner said. "Who was there?"

"Darcy, Rogers, maybe Barnes and Lang," Simmons told him.

"That would be a mess," Bruce said. "Steve would stomp on them so hard. And bring his girlfriend."

She smiled. "I've met Sharon. She's a fierce but nice lady."

"She is," he agreed. "We all like her around the facility." The doctor led them to the quarantine ward so he and Simmons could tell the officers what was going on and how they had to handle it for a bit but had an antidote. Most of the officers were at least dating or had someone they could call. The rest, Bruce called Tony to get the name of a professional who could help. That got a grimace by the local doctor but it helped and the antidote was given by that night to everyone.

Fitz stopped Bruce before he could leave. "You're the only one who might know," he said quietly. "What happens if you or Rogers or Barnes gets hit with it? Will the antidote work?"

He considered it. "I think it should. Did it on Barnes?"

"He barely got exposed from the notes Coulson made for the report. He noted Barnes stated he tested the dosed liquid on his fingertip."

"I'll look into that, Fitz. Thank you for thinking about that."

"You might also consider what might happen if *he* gets exposed," he said quietly, giving him a look. Bruce winced but nodded. "We'd have no idea how to help you handle that, Dr. Banner, and we wouldn't want to impose. We're nothing like Ross."

"Thank you for worrying, Fitz. I'll look into it tonight." He patted him on the hand. "It's a good worry. I'd hate to see the Other Guy if he was exposed too." Fitz smiled and stepped back. Bruce went back to the tower to make a report for the team and look into what would happen if he was exposed. How would you cure a horny Hulk?

***

Darcy went to that station the next morning. "Sergeant?" He looked up, staring at her. "This is on the supposed doctor who had me hostage with HYDRA to breed me and he did try to use that formula on someone else. Not sure if it's related but if so, it'll give you someone to look at." He handed it over. "That's the copy of what we found out about him." She smiled. "He's a vet so he's not really knowledgeable about humans."

He nodded. "Thank you, Miss Lewis." She smiled. "Any more problems?"

"Scott found the guy trying to sneak into my bedroom with a bottle of wine to go with that tasteless nightie he left. I had to point out it wasn't my size or Katie's size so he pouted. They had a manly talk then Clint showed up and the guy ran for his life." The sergeant laughed but nodded. "So hopefully that's stopped. If I can help find whoever, let me know. Please. I hate that they got them too. That drug made me the most depressed ever."

"Natural occurrence?"

"No, the after effects of curing it."

"Oh, that stuff. Yeah, it can do that. We'll let the people looking it over have this file. You go be safe."

She smiled. "I'm tutoring tonight." She left, going back to her place to make food for the meeting tonight and brush her dog to make sure he wouldn't shed all over the library. She also printed some recipes for the math problems later. She went and they had a few kids there. She smiled. "I made real food." They cheered and came over to get some. The rest showed up and Conor sniffed each one as they came in. He lapped the baby that came but the mom just petted him for it. "Hey, guys. I made casseroles. And brownies." They dug in while she set up. "All right, this is tonight's lesson in fractions. How many cups of ingredients will I have?"

They stared at the recipe. "A whole bowl full," one of the girls said. "I didn't think my mom used cinnamon in hers."

"I usually use nutmeg," Darcy said with a wink. "I've got my version on the phone if you want to copy it." She pointed. "Do we know how to add fractions?" They shook their heads so she moved to the white board to work on that for them. They all took notes and a few worked out the problem. She had put up a conversion list too in case they needed them.

"Looks like you'll have about six cups. Five-and-three quarters," one of the girls said.

"Great job," Darcy said with a smile. "I do, plus liquid." She nodded at that. "A hint, but in recipes like this, you mix the liquids together, then the dry together then add the dry to the wet." Some of them made that note. "Okay, let's go to the next version." She put that recipe up for them. They settled in to work on it. And a few copied it down. Darcy patted the small pile of papers on the end of the table. "I made a few copies of each. We can make more if more want it. I pulled most of these out of my older cookbooks and they're ones I like but I have my own on my phone if you guys wanted to get into them." They nodded and settled in to work on math things. Conor went to lay next to the kid. "Conor, let the baby nap," she ordered. "You only get to lick babies under supervision. Just in case."

Conor huffed but came back to sniff her and get a dog treat so he could watch the door. He was a good herd guardian for his shepherd Darcy.

The mom looked. "I'm sure the kid won't poke him in the eye, Darcy."

"I'm still working on his training and I don't want him laying on the baby. He weighs as much as she does. He's part mountain dog. They used to watch sheep and cows in the mountains."

"He's gonna be a huge, fluffy sucker," one of the boys said with a nod. "Huge paws and huge mouth."

"Yeah, he eats almost three cups of food a day right now. He'll need more in a few months." She reached down to pet him. "But he's a great dog." The dog barked at her and she scratched his ears. "You're a great dog, Conor." She handed over another dog biscuit.

"Can people really make their own dog food?" one of the girls asked.

"Yeah. You can find recipes for dog and cat food online. Cat food has things like finely ground up bones in it and a lot of other stuff. You need a seriously good grinder for that. Dog food was less complicated but you still have to buy some supplements."

"Huh," she said, looking that up on her phone. "That's so weird."

"It is," Darcy agreed. "Which is why I buy him food and he sometimes gets meat when I'm eating dinner." They laughed. "Lucky's a pizza mooch."

"We heard from Kate," one of them agreed. They got onto the workbook problems and it was going okay. They understood how to do the fractions now. Plus how to turn them into decimal points so they could do it easier. It was on the prep test so probably in the regular one.

Darcy looked down as Conor went to sniff the door and then started to bark. "What's up?" she asked, going to answer the door. "Hi, Missus Jones." She smiled. "This is Conor, he's my protective buddy who sometimes cuddles."

"He's adorable but no dogs in the library, Miss Lewis."

"Sorry, I couldn't leave him home tonight. My security system only half works thanks to lightening. He might bite the guy that tried to crawl in my window to leave me a nightie."

"Fine. This time. Don't let him make a mess." She pointed.

Darcy looked then at her. "He's not eliminating. I walked him before we came in to make sure."

"All right then. Just don't do it again, Miss Lewis, or we'll have to not allow you to use the room for a few weeks."

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry." She grinned. The librarian smiled and Darcy let her have a brownie. The older woman walked off nibbling but smiling. Darcy grinned at the kids. "If we can't use the room some night, I'll figure it out and put it on my twitter." They all nodded, digging in again. It was a good practice session. They were getting really close to taking the test again. Most of them had gotten at least one section.

***

Darcy bounded into the avengers facility a few weeks later, pausing to hug Bruce. "I have good news."

"You look like it's great news, Darcy. How did you get in?" He didn't think Darcy still had a security clearance.

"I got dropped off here by the guys that I had to taze for trying to kidnap me. They wanted to present me to Clint to show that they wanted to be nicer to me." She smirked. "They really didn't like that, bro."

"Ah, them." He nodded, walking her to the common area. "Clint, she ran into some neighbors."

"And I quote, because they told me to tell you since they couldn't get in to deliver me in person. Bro, we're really sorry we tried to kidnap her because a few of our guys want to make some time with the pretty dame, bro, but we're never going to underestimate the dame again. Because, bro, no normal chick is that tough so we figure she's your trainee, bro, and we're really sorry we thought I was just pretty and had big jugs. Please don't shoot at us from the roof anymore, bro, or send that Russian guy after us. He's kinda weird and really mean, bro, so we're staying away from him."

Clint blinked at her. That made him quit eating lunch. Really, only Darcy got into things like that. Thankfully it wasn't contagious so Katie Kate wouldn't get that gift. "Huh," he said. "They kidnaped you?"

"From the grocery store," she said dryly. "And drove me up here to give me to you since you weren't home." He groaned. "So yeah, I need to figure out a way home after I pounce Scott with happy notes." He pointed. She walked that way, finding Cassie. She squealed and hugged her then Scott. "The kids *all* passed. The whole test. Everyone got all that they needed and a few passed every single part." He grinned. "They said thank you and I should pounce you extra hard to hug because a few of them took your advice and are going to vo-tech this fall. I'm starting a new group tomorrow night." She winked at Cassie. "Did you get that other recipe?"

"I did and I tried it out in home ec. The teacher was amused but it was good. It was ugly to look at but really good, and much better than lunch that day." Darcy hugged her again. "You're goofy."

"You bet." She grinned. "I'm giddy with happiness and there's no disco music playing."

"Disco?" Scott demanded.

"The bro dudes got me from the grocery store but were sorry they underestimated me because I'm really tough so they were giving me back to Clint."

He sighed, shaking his head. "They're dumb."

"Yup." She smiled. "They wouldn't let me off at home, I had to be given to Clint as a peace offering so he'd quit shooting them or letting Bucky have them."

Scott nodded, patting her on the arm. "Only you." Darcy grinned. Stark walked in already shaking his head and sighing. "Saw it on the cameras?"

"From the gate. I let Hawkass out there see it too and he's mumbling swear words in some language only Natasha probably speaks." He stared at Darcy, who grinned. "We'll figure out how to get you back to the city soon." He got some coffee and walked off shaking his head. "Pepper's probably coming up in a bit and might head back soon too."

"I can find the train," she said. "I had my wallet on me when they got me out of the grocery store and thankfully the dog's at home."

Clint leaned in. "I called Bucky, he'll walk the dogs for you. You can't take the train, there's agents searching for someone on it today and you know how the FBI is when you run into them."

"Did you taze them too?" Cassie asked with a grin for Darcy.

"Not yet. They're mad I stopped a senator from taking out witnesses to his son's stupid moment."

"Oh, him. I did a report on that. The teacher said that was a myth until I pulled up the newspaper articles I used for research. Then she groaned about the state of higher education."

"She should complain about the state of drunks in higher education. She should really look at one of the sociology teachers too. They're cranked beyond belief." Cassie giggled, getting a hug from Darcy and a smirk to her father. "Not even that guy who thinks men are all inherently macho. That one just hates aliens. Thinks Thor should be a Roswell Gray. That the blond and muscles are just an illusion."

"I don't need to know. I'm not going there," Scott assured her.

Darcy grinned. "Let me know if I need to write her letters of recommendation for school. I can do that."

"I'm sure." He nodded with a grin. "Go be bouncy outside?"

"Yup. I can do that." Cassie went back to making a sandwich. Darcy went to bother Clint until he let her go home. Scott looked at his daughter, who grinned back.

Of course, the bad things happened and of all beings, AIM tried to invade. Darcy found a gun somewhere. And used it fairly well. Natasha gave her a few funny looks but Darcy was still bouncy. At the end, Natasha escorted her to the infirmary. "She's laughing." She walked off to talk to Clint.

"Yeah, she was dosed with something. She's never that bouncy," Clint said when Natasha stared at him for a second. "Infirmary?" She nodded. "That's fine. I called Barnes to warn him. I'm wondering if someone paid the Russian mob guys to be a distraction or if it was just coincidence."

Natasha looked at him then groaned. She went to the kitchen to get a drink then down to the infirmary, where Darcy was happily chatting with the nurses. One of the nurses looked at her. "She said they stuck her with something when they were kidnaping her from the grocery store. That's why they were so shocked she kicked one in the side with her heels, which ruined her heel probably, and then tazed the others until they were very sorry and decided Clint would like her back," the nurse told her. Darcy grinned and nodded. "And she's having a happy day."

"And she got pumped full of female hormones yesterday. It tends to make me a bit bouncy," Darcy agreed.

"The birth control shot can do that to some women," the nurse agreed. "My daughter turns into double her usual teenager self when she gets hers. She usually needs pompoms and pork chops to get back to normal."

Darcy grinned at her. "I just get a bit bouncy and happy. Then the stuff they gave me on top of it is really stupid. Half the sedatives out there do that to me anyway. I'm sure they're sorry though." She grinned. "I'm kinda glad I didn't have a knife or the dog with me."

Natasha nodded, handing her some juice. "We'll find a way to get you home soon, Darcy."

"Sure." She grinned. "Did the idiots that just tried to crash the party pay the Russian mob guys? They went *way* out of their neighborhood to get me this time. I was shopping at the organic place that gets stuff from the floating garden barge and was in Italian run neighborhoods."

Natasha stared at her. "We've been wondering that ourselves. We can ask." She went to talk to Clint. "The organic grocery store that gets food from the garden barge?"

"You heard about the floating neighborhood garden?" Scott asked. Natasha nodded. "There's a few places that sells the produce to go back to the community. Darcy likes one over the other two because that one's in an old Family watched-over neighborhood. No one acts up there without them hearing about it."

Clint nodded once. "I know that neighborhood. Even the thugs don't like to work there without permission. That could cause a mess." He looked at Scott, who shrugged. "Let me call Matt to see if he's heard there's a mess in the making." He dialed his phone, getting his voicemail. "Darcy's safe and with me," he said. "The Russian guys who say 'bro' a lot kidnaped her from Manelli's neighborhood so tell me if you hear rumors of them coming to talk about it in my neighborhood please, Matt." He hung up. "That could get messy. Those two groups have an uneasy truce most of the time."

"Darcy also said she got some sort of birth control shot yesterday."

"Yeah, that stuff rocks," Clint said with a grin. "She and Kate were talking about it during practice I made Darcy come to since she hasn't had any target practice in a while. Kate asked since she knew Darcy was on it. Works for three months. Can take up to a year to wear out of your system. Bucky was giving the girls odd looks for talking about birth control while firing guns. I made him go too." He grinned. "He hasn't had much practice either."

Natasha blinked at him. "Thank you for that. Is it that effective?"

"Yes," Clint said with a grin and a nod. "It is. Even if you miss it by a week, Darcy said you'd only get a period. It can apparently stop them for a long time in a row too."

"Wow," Natasha said. "I had not thought about such needs for normal women like Kate."

"Kate said she had been on the patch but she forgot and had an unexpected problem one night during something bigger they had to help break up."

"That can happen to women," Stark said as he walked behind them. "There's the stick things that go in your arm or the shot."

"Darcy's on the shot and they were talking about longer term options. Darcy told her about the IUD thing too. It's rare that they puncture stuff but they're handy. Kate's talking to Darcy's doc about that."

"It's a wise decision for a young woman her age. Lapses of reason can cause uncomfortable, long term side effects," Natasha said. "I know we'd all like her not to have a child soon."

"Or catch anything," Clint said with a small smirk. "Her dad would probably blame me for it somehow."

"Also true," Natasha said as she walked off shaking her head.

"So glad I don't have to have that talk with my kid yet," Scott quipped.

"Mom already did," Cassie called. "Because a girl a few years older than me on the block had to have an abortion, Dad. It was going to kill her otherwise."

Scott looked back at her, frowning. "One of your friends?"

"No." She looked at him. "One of the just older pack of girls up the street. Apparently there had been a party with dad's whiskey bottle included in the game of truth or dare and things. I'm too young to be invited to such swanky affairs," she finished blandly.

"You'd better not," he warned.

She smirked at him. "I'm not turning into you, Dad."

"Thank you!"

"Mom's *real* blunt on some subjects."

"Good! Before I make someone like Stark give you that talk too."

"Don't punish Stark that way. He still stares her like she's a little robot," Clint said, cracking up both of them. "Ask Bruce." He grinned. "Or Natasha."

"I don't want to spar with the Hulk," Scott told him. "Really."

Darcy came up the hall whistling. "Did you see that commercial for Coke or whatever it was?" she asked Scott, grinning at Cassie.

"No," he admitted. "What commercial?" She pulled it up on her phone, letting him see 'Ant Man' stealing a coke from the lab, which made the Hulk angry enough to chase him to get it back. Then he had to open the can for him because the Hulk couldn't operate pop top cans. He groaned, handing back the phone. "I should sue," he said. "I didn't give permission to that. Has Pepper seen it?"

"She's the one that sent it to me. It was one of the Superbowl ads."

"So going to complain," he muttered. Cassie giggled. "You knew?"

"Yup, saw it and made Mom come watch it with me on TIVO, Dad. She said the guy looked better in your suit than you do." He shot a glare at her but went back to complaining. Cassie grinned at Darcy. "Can I meet Kate? She's nearly my age."

"Isn't that up to Scott?" Darcy asked her.

"Yup, I don't mind. Kate's a good girl," Scott said, rubbing his forehead. "I know Cassie won't want a bow, she doesn't try to steal Clint's." Clint smirked at him. "We can meet her on the way back from visitation, sweetie."

"Thanks." She got back to her homework, grinning at Darcy. Who smirked back. "We should make brownies. Chocolate cures girl problems according to Mom."

"It can cure many problems, or at least makes them see trivial," Darcy agreed, taking her to look in the kitchen. Almost bare shelves. She sighed. Cassie got her into the pantry and she found what they'd need to bake stuff. No chocolate but other things. They could handle that. Darcy could teach her how to bake properly until someone let her go home.

***

Clint got home and found Kate crying on his couch. "Hey." She launched herself at him, hugging him. "What happened? One of your friends get hurt? Or your team?" She shook her head, sobbing harder. He winced. "Your dad?" She nodded. He pushed her back some. "Is he in the hospital? Or did someone take him out?"

"He wouldn't sell the old paper," she sniffled, staring at him. "They bombed his car!" He pulled her closer to hug. "I don't know what to do, Clint."

"Shh. We'll figure it out, Katie." He texted Darcy. She knew how to handle this stuff. She ran over and took Kate from him to cuddle, letting the girl cry on her. Clint made coffee and cocoa for the young one. She was only seventeen! Darcy smiled sadly at him. "I can call around, see if we know who."

"I shot three thugs the day I came out to him," Kate said, sniffling as she looked up at Darcy. "How do I handle this?"

"I can help," she promised quietly. "It's not something you should do alone anyway." She nodded, hugging her again. "Shh, Katie. You know you can have my spare room for a bit if you want." She nodded. "We'll handle it. Have the police said anything?" She shook her head. "Okay." He got them the muffins he had bought for his own breakfast and looked around then at her. Darcy pointed. Lucky was in his bedroom on the bed with Cutey, her cuddled under his chin. Clint nodded. Darcy got Kate calmed down for now, getting her to drink some cocoa. "There's nothing you can do tonight but grieve. Tomorrow we'll help you go ask the officers if they know anything." She nodded, sipping. "Then we'll stand with you when you make a few decisions." Kate stared at her. "Someone will have to."

"I...."

"I can help," she reminded her. "I was here with my dad, Kate. I can help." She nodded, curling up against her again. She looked at Clint, who called an officer he knew to check on what they knew so far. He got told to butt out but oh well. That wasn't going to stop Kate Bishop doing what she had to do; it just made sure she'd be doing it harder and faster.

***

Darcy smiled as she walked Kate into the police station, getting a few looks. "She's my protege. I need an heir, she's a great one." Kate swatted her but scowled a bit. They went to the detective that had the case, hearing him sigh in displeasure. "I think you'll find that if you ask her a few things, she might be able to help."

"We know her father was being pressured to sell the paper. Not sure why," he admitted.

"Fisk wanted the building for something and someone else wanted the printing supplies," Kate said, sitting in his visitor's chair. "Did you ask the thugs I shot?"

The detective blinked. "What thugs you shot, Miss Bishop?"

"The day I told my dad I wear spandex real often, I walked in and found three thugs. One I know was Fisk's thug. The other two were lower level street muscle my father used to know," she said quietly. "I called an officer I know to come handle the slight mess I made with my bow."

The guy nearly swallowed his chewing gum. "Your...bow?"

She nodded. "My dad had just filed for bankruptcy reorganization a week before and I realized that I had to tell him before someone in the courtroom told him." She stared at him. "If it wasn't Fisk, who the hell was it?"

"We think it was him," he admitted.

"Well he's not getting shit from me either," Kate said dryly, cracking Darcy up. "I'm a lot more stubborn than my father was. I get it from my mother."

The detective looked at Darcy then at her. "Your mom?" he guessed with a point.

"My friend. She's helping me make arrangements today because she had to bury her father when she was in her undergrad."

"Oh. That's fine." He looked at Darcy. "We can talk without you."

"Sure, let me get my attorney down here," she said with a polite smile. The man slumped, staring at her. "I'm going to make it very easy on Katie. She's a great friend. I know she'll give you time to work," she said, looking at Kate, who nodded.

"I'll wait until the end of the investigation and if you can't find him I sure can." She stared at him. "I'm not that nice, Detective. But I will make sure my father's killers go away." She stood up, handing over a card. "To my cell. I'm off school for the next few weeks anyway on grief leave and on Darcy's couch."

Darcy handed over a card with a smile. "Mine. I'm usually home whenever I'm not tutoring."

"All right," he said, seeing her name then looking at her. "You're *that* Lewis lady."

"Yes, I am her too." She smiled. "I'm very protective. He's not coming near Kate."

"Good. I'll keep you informed, Miss Bishop. It'll take me a few weeks to get all the lab stuff done."

"I know," she said, smiling slightly. "I thought about being a CSI once." She walked out with Darcy, going to the morgue. The attendant stared at Darcy, backing up a step. Kate looked at her. "What did you do? Taze a body?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. "When my uncle was killed by his last wife, I kinda faced her down here. His first wife made her shoot herself in the stomach. I just stomped her ass until my aunts got there. This is Kate Bishop. Her father's here somewhere."

"I'll tell the ME, ma'ams," he said, calling back there. "We have a Miss Bishop here," he said. He hung up. "They'll come right out, Miss Bishop. Are you eighteen?"

"She is," Kate said. "And I'm an orphan now."

"You know you have my couch or spare bedroom," Darcy reminded her. "We can handle that later." Kate swallowed but nodded. "We have an appointment later with a lawyer to get you emancipated." She rubbed her back. "Hi," she told the woman walking out.

"Miss Bishop?" Kate nodded, stepping forward. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen," she admitted. "There's no other family. I have a reasonable adult with me," she said with a point at Darcy.

"She's my protege," Darcy said with a smile.

"That's fine. We need to ask a few questions. Your mentor can sit out here if you want, Miss DeCriths." She pointed at the waiting area.

"I can do that," she agreed, sitting down.

Kate walked back with the ME to answer questions about who would be handling his body after it was released and what he had eaten beforehand. They had found alcohol on his clothes. Kate looked at the reading then asked her the brand of scotch. The ME had to look it up. Kate shook her head. "Dad didn't drink anything that cheap. That's not his brand. He was kind of specific about only getting the stuff that tasted right and was made in the right places.

"His scotch came from a shop in Brooklyn and was about fifty bucks a bottle on sale. He only bought it when it was on sale but he stocked up with a few. He only drank scotch a few times a year but it was in certain foods he liked." She considered it. "Was the car on fire?" The ME nodded. "That probably means it was added. Was he dead before then?" she asked.

"Yes, he died before the fire from what we can tell. He didn't suffer. There was a gunshot wound."

Kate slumped but nodded. "Thank you for easing that worry. I'll get with the funeral home in about a hour. I need to go hit a heavy bag repeatedly right now."

"I understand. If we have more questions, we'll call." She handed over a card and one of Darcy's. "That's fine. Let us know. It'll be about a week anyway, Miss Bishop." Kate nodded and left, going back to Darcy, who hugged her to her side. The ME watched them go. "She's a strong young woman," she said to her assistant.

"She is," she agreed. "And if she's going to fall, it's good she's got someone strong there to catch her."

"That young woman won't let the young one fall." She went back to her office to make those notes to pass onto the detectives.

***

Darcy walked up to someone later that night, walking him off. "Hey." The guy blinked at her. She smiled. "I'm Darcy. Kate's on my couch right now, she cried herself to sleep."

"Do we know you, lady?"

She smiled. "I'm Darcy Lewis, kiddo. Kate's staying with me. She won't be up to being a Hawkeye for a few weeks."

America, one of the team, walked over. "Miss Lewis," she said with a smile.

Darcy grinned. "Kate's not up to helping for a few weeks."

"She's sick?" the boy asked.

"Her dad got murdered the other day," Darcy said more coolly, staring at him. He winced. "She spent today talking to the ME, the detectives, and her family attorney to get her emancipated so people quit trying to force her to bring a make-believe parent."

America nodded. "That totally sucks for her. Is she okay?"

"Not yet," Darcy admitted. "It can take a while but she's already told the detectives they'd better get the person."

America nodded. "I can see her making that her life's goal." She smiled. "Do you tutor other kids?"

"I can. I'm starting a new group tomorrow night. It was going to be tonight but the library's closed today due to a Hulk fist." America winced but nodded. "It'll be open again tomorrow once someone looks at the damage. You're more than welcome to come join us. Kate did some of the tutoring for me when I was missing. Scott Lang does sometimes too."

"I can do that," she decided. "Is the GED hard?"

"Kinda. Yeah. About tenth grade level hard though."

"I can probably do that."

"There's a test prep book. I can get you a copy if you want. I've got some in the car." She smiled. "I help whoever shows up. No affiliation refused."

"That'll help, yeah. Thanks, Miss Lewis."

"I'm Darcy, America. Just plain old Darcy."

"Sure." She shook her hand. "I'll pop around tomorrow to check on Kate."

"Tomorrow she's got an afternoon emergency hearing with a judge over her emancipation so we'll probably be gone from eleven to about four-ish."

"I can do that," she promised with a smile.

"Cool. Be sure to knock. The tazer system on the door is back on." She grinned and left them to talk.

America waited until Darcy had driven off to look at her teammate. "That's the one that HYDRA wants so hard," she said quietly. "Used to work with Thor's sweetheart in the lab as a lab flunkie according to Kate. She bakes too." They walked off together to tell the others. "Kate's not showing up for a bit except for stress relief from training."

"I heard about her dad. Who was that lady?"

"Darcy Lewis."

"Oooh. She's kinda stubborn. She avoided HYDRA for two years before they kidnaped her."

"That's almost unheard of," America agreed. "Kate's on her couch." They all nodded. "And she said if those of us who need a GED wants it, she's not against us dropping into her tutoring sessions." She gave one a pointed look and he nodded but rolled his eyes.

***

Kate looked around the funeral, noticing a few people. She sighed when Clint walked in and sat behind her with a pat for her shoulder. Darcy was next to her, holding her hand because she was about to break out in sobs any minute now. She noticed the detective in the back of the room and ignored him for now. She nodded at a few people staring at her. Including a few of her father's friends. She looked at the closed casket again. She almost wanted to run up to make sure it was her father in there. That no one had stolen his body.

Darcy shoulder nudged her. "The urge to stand up and yell about how they all avoided him for the last month is usual," she hissed in her ear. "So is the urge to run up and tip the casket over because you're angry with him."

"I..."

Darcy nodded. "The problem with a closed casket is you want to make *sure*," she agreed quietly.

Kate nodded. "I know but..."

"You don't *know*," Darcy agreed quietly. "But we know. They were sure when you asked last night."

She nodded. "They were and let me see him." She slumped, staring at the person there to speak. Her father wasn't really religious so there wasn't a minister to do the funeral service. Instead it was someone that knew her father well and would at least be able to hold a eulogy. He was well spoken, telling about her father's many good qualities and a few stories from his young and stupid days. Kate was clinging to Darcy's hand by the time he was done.

They moved to the graveside and she looked up. She didn't understand why it was usually really sunny during funerals but today was no exception. Clint stood right behind her. Darcy was on her left. America was on her right. That way no one could get close to her. She got handed a flower by America and tossed it in, squatting down to touch the casket and silently wish him a good trip to the next world. She stood up and went back to her protected spot. She noticed the detective staring but oh well. She couldn't watch it being lowered, turning her head to hide it in America's shoulder. At the end, the others trailed off. Clint stayed with her, America wouldn't let her wrist go. Darcy gave her a hug and stepped off two steps but glared at the detective for her.

Kate cleared her throat, accepting the tissues. She looked at the detective herself. "Did whoever killed him show up?" she asked.

"There's been a few accusations."

"I'm sorry," Darcy said. "Someone misunderstood things. Kate's one of *my* heirs at the moment and I'm worth more than the Mayor is." The detective flinched. "Kate loved her father very much. The reorganization filing was necessary for the business, not his personal accounts. Also, Kate has a locked trust from her grandmother and mother's estates. If she wanted to get money, all she has to do is talk to her lawyer. Or me." She stared at him. "Any other questions this miserable day?" she asked coolly.

"We had to ask, Miss Lewis."

"Hmm. Well, you asked. Any other questions that are ill-timed and ill-meant?" she asked dryly.

"No, Miss Lewis. Miss Bishop, have you received any threats?"

"I haven't been home," she admitted. "If I have, you'd have to look through the mail and I'll do that tomorrow with the family attorney. If so, I'm sure you'll hear."

"Please let us handle it."

Lewis looked at him. "Of course she will." She smiled. The detective shuddered as he walked off. "Well, we know whoever did it is trying to reassign blame," she said dryly, loud enough he heard it.

Clint grinned. "You changed your will?"

"She was in there the last time." She shrugged. "I need to make a next generation somehow. She makes a great one." Kate laughed but ended up crying on Clint's shoulder again. Darcy nodded at America. "Come over," she said quietly.

"Thanks. She needed to break," America said quietly. "I'll go with her tomorrow."

"Sure."

"We," Clint told her. "Just in case." America smiled and nodded. He looked at Kate. "Let's get you cleaned up and back into jammies. It's not the day for real clothes. I'll bring over the dogs so you can cuddle." She nodded, hugging the other two before walking off with them.

America watched how Darcy handled things. She was gently steering Kate to the limo they had rented for the day. Clint nodded so she joined them. Darcy's house was pretty nice and her dog loved her too. As soon as Kate came out of the bathroom, all three dogs ended up on her lap to cuddle her.

***

Darcy was coming out of tutoring when someone tried to stop her. "I don't know you. Get out of my way."

"I know you, Lewis," he sneered. "You're butting into...."

She tazed him, making him scream as he flopped around on the ground. "Really, am I?" She looked at him. "Interesting." She looked up then smiled at him. "And look, no one to save your slimy ass from me." She put things in her car and came back to get the guy who was trying to get up. She got him again before she threw him in the trunk and drove off with a happy blast of pop music.

The tutoring kids who had seen it stared at each other. Darcy was a lot harder than she seemed!

Darcy got out somewhere she had heard about and looked inside. "Hey, guys? Someone just tried to tell me I'm butting into things I shouldn't be. Anyone want the thug? If not, can I have a playmate?"

The heros in there stared at her. One moved closer. "Darcy."

She smiled and pinched him on the cheek. "Hi. Not sure if it's related to Kate's dad or what."

He looked at her. "Is he injured?"

"Well, I tazed him and threw him in the trunk. He got me coming out of tutoring so I was in a good mood." She smiled. "Want him?"

"Yeah, we can hold him. We were just talking about Mr. Bishop's killing."

"Someone shot him then set him on fire," Darcy said. "Kate got told by the ME."

"Damn it," he said. "Is she okay?"

"She's...it's normal. I spent six weeks on the couch in jammies. She's on week two and it's reasonable."

"Okay," he agreed. He waved at a few. "Come help, guys. We're not sure what sort of idiot he is."

She smiled at the others. "He tried to tell me I was butting things." A few shuddered. She went to pop the trunk, popping the tazer cartridge back into place since she had left it hanging over the trunk edge and zapped him again when he tried to climb out on his own. "Nope," she said with a smile. "Not likely."

Clint strolled over. "I have no idea who he is, guys." He looked at Darcy.

"Got in my way when I was coming out of the library and told me I was getting into things I shouldn't." She smiled. "I'm in a happy mood."

"Sure," Clint agreed with a smile. "You seem happy."

"This group of kids don't need that much tutoring based on the practice tests."

"Even better," he agreed. "Go ahead and release the tazer cartridge." She did that and put it back into the holster. "We can find out a few things easily. Hey, dude," he said, kicking him on the side. "Are you HYDRA?" He whined and shook his head. "Are you with the Russian Mob?" The guy glared at him. "Or AIM? SHIELD?" He shook his head. "Then who are you with since you got into Darcy's face and it's usually them that bother her?"

"She's breaking treaties by doing all that stuff."

"I tutor them for the GED," Darcy said coolly. "That doesn't hurt anyone. I don't care what group they belong to. Everyone deserves an education. If whoever you work for doesn't like that, they can blow me. I've got a pretty little strap on I can use for them to have a target." The guy's eyes went wide. "Anything else you wanted to talk about? Like the people who blew up a friend of mine's father?"

"We assume Fisk," he admitted, staring at her. "You're not affiliated."

"No, I'm not." She smiled. "My daddy was a Hollywood producer. My mom was a society bitch. I'm a society bitch part of the time. Now, anything else you wanted to know?"

"The Russian guys...."

She snorted, waving a hand. "They want, they're not getting. I don't date inarticulate people. They're kinda not my type. Especially the ones that tried to kidnap me to woo me. Even HYDRA learned *that* doesn't work." She stared at him. "You tell whoever you work for I don't give a goddess fucking damn about their job or anyone's job. I don't hold their affiliations against them.

"They're people who need an education and that's my thing. Younger kids, older kids, married kids, they're all in need of an education so they can hopefully make something of themselves. Frankly, if those Bro dudes don't leave me the fuck alone like they promised, I'm going to find their boss and make him sorry then take him over and make all those idiots get their own educations!

"And if you work for a rival group, did you really think them kidnaping me from a grocery store in one of your type of people's areas is really a good thing?" He shook his head quickly. "Good." She smiled. "You have fun with whoever the fuck you work for, dude. Don't make me get mad. And don't make me get mad at you especially." He nodded, scooting away from her and toward Clint. "Good. You have a better night." She patted him on the head like she would Lucky. "Let me go bake." She got into the car and drove off.

Clint smirked at him. "You just got me pastries. My future butt spread thanks you." He hauled him up. "Now, who do you work for? Before I have to tell her who I think you work for so she can go to lunch with them?" He spluttered. "She's real serious. She's got to deal with HYDRA. You're not worthy."

"She's hot," he admitted.

"Yeah, she is." Clint smirked at him. "And single, but picky."

"Pity." He looked at the others then at him. "We thought she was with them."

"No. They vowed to leave her alone on penalty of me shooting them with more explosive arrows than I've used so far."

The guy swallowed. "Hawkeye," he said, realizing he was possibly dead.

Clint grinned and pointed. "Both of us." The guy looked and shivered but shrank down. "Now, got any proof it was Fisk?"

"I'm pretty sure it was his minion. He wanted the printing equipment for a lot of reasons."

"Sure, I get that," Kate said, strolling over. "But I'm not selling to him. I can borrow Darcy's strap on and let him blow me."

The guy blinked and swallowed. "Yeah, I'll pass that onto my boss."

She smiled and pinched his cheek. "You have fun with that. Remember, Darcy's really mean when you make her paranoid. She's just fun the rest of the time." He nodded and ran off. She looked at the others. "Anyone got any proof? That way I can make sure of who I need to kill."

Matt hugged her. "It'll be okay, Kate. We'll help you with getting him into the prison of the state's choice for the rest of his short life."

She snorted. "May not be enough."

"That's vengeance and you're justice," he reminded her.

"Point. I guess." She looked up. "You smell really nice. I never noticed that before." He laughed and let her go. "I need to spar, guys. Darcy's been baking non-stop since it happened and it's been good for me emotionally but my uniform's getting tight."

"Ditto," Clint admitted. "She's a really good baker."

The others led them inside to go over the local problems they had been talking about. It'd help Kate get some stress relief. And Clint work off the pastries.

***

Darcy smiled at Kate when she showed up that night. "You okay? Need the first aid kit? Ice pack?"

"I'm fine. We sparred a bit. I'm your heir?"

"You're one of the lists of possibles. There's five of them including you. They have to swear to uphold my charity work and make me seem exceptional to anyone who asks."

"Sure I can do that." She flopped down, hugging the dogs. Lucky barked. "Clint's going to change and he'll be right over," she promised. Lucky went to stare out the window that faced his house. Darcy grinned at her. "Lucky's really smart."

"He is." Cutey hopped up to snuggle into her human's lap with a bark for her. Darcy patted her lap and Conor hopped up to cuddle her for now. Clint came in and Lucky ran over to bark and jump at his human until he sat down to pet him. "He missed you apparently," Darcy quipped. "We had a flea bath because Cutey picked some up in the park and I didn't want it to get friends. Lucky really likes to play with the blowdryer."

Clint looked at his dog. "You liked your bath with Darcy?" he asked with a grin. "Good boy." Lucky settled in to cuddle him. "Anything else happen when you got home?"

"Barnes isn't on the roof, I don't know why," she admitted. "His bag's gone too."

"Interesting," he agreed. "We'll figure it out. He could have moved to a regular apartment so he was out of the rain and had his own kitchen."

"Maybe. No clue. I left a message for Steve saying he had moved."

"That's reasonable," Kate agreed. "Hopefully he's gotten his own place." She cuddled her dog. "We have to go home tomorrow. The lawyer's coming."

"Call so you're not fighting the house alone," Darcy told her. She got up. "I've got to do charity work stuff." She went into her office/the not a guest bedroom unless someone's going to sleep on the floor and settled in to work on her mother's foundation. She had two emails waiting. She also had one on hold that she had answered with a 'I'm running behind due to helping a friend with her newly orphaned state' that wrote back saying she understood. She started on that one first. It was a good idea but it wasn't exactly practical. She went to that person's facebook to ask about the idea. There were a few things that would make it easier to implement.

Clint looked at her. "If you want, I'll go with you."

"I might or I might call some of my buddies." She smiled. "Thanks, Clint."

"Just remember to call me when you go after that guy, Kate," he said quietly. "I don't want you to go over a line that'll eat you forever."

She nodded. "I don't plan on it."

"You never do," he said.

"I know. Thanks, Clint."

"Not a problem. The lawyer?"

"My emancipation hearing went well. He agreed I was very mature and only six months before my birthday so it's fine. I'm legal again and he's got the papers. So do I with the school. I've been doing homework online for the last few days. My teachers all scowled about me staying out for a few more weeks but I pointed out I had a lot to do with the estate and I was doing my homework. My grades were actually up, and if I needed help I could ask Darcy. They hated she's teaching poor kids how to get their GED's."

"Some people are snobs," Clint agreed. "You want to stay in that school?"

"There's not another good one in the city."

"Point. So now what?"

"I'm thinking about selling the house. It's way too big for just me. Even when he was there, it was too big for the both of us. He told me he had bought such a big house because he expected more kids." Clint nodded. "He told me he should've sold it after Mom died. So I'm casually looking for somewhere I can live. Plus the paper and the other business stuff I can't deal with. I have no idea how to deal with them."

"We can help you figure that out, Katie Kate."

"I know. I'll take reasonable options for the paper's stuff. Not Fisk's but reasonable, legal offers."

"If you get threatened, you tell me immediately," he said. "Not Darcy, me." He gave her a pointed look. "Darcy would look really hot in Natasha's cat suit but none of us want that."

"No, we don't," Kate agreed. He grinned. The dogs all stared at her. "It's okay, guys. I'm okay today." They went back to napping. Kate nodded at the bedroom and Clint nodded. He took Lucky home while she went to shower and go to bed. It'd be another draining, long day in the morning.

***

Darcy looked at Kate the next day. "Someone online asked my twitter where your stepmom and sister are."

"Missing, presumed dead," she said, looking up at her. "Yacht accident or so they say." She grimaced. "Reporter?"

"Avengers groupie." She went to get some coffee since Kate had started the pot. "He collects all the cards and stuff."

"I didn't know I had some of those already."

"Yup," Darcy said with a grin. "He called you that hottie Hawkette."

Kate rolled her eyes but shook her head. "The judge knew and snorted about my stepmom being three whole years older than me."

"He also said your public profile to the groupies said you're twenty-one."

"Not yet," she said. "It'd be *nice*." Darcy grinned. "Any other happy questions?"

"One from an America Chavez making sure you're doing okay. And one from Billy asking that you call him."

"I'm...that's a weird thing, Darce."

"I realize that. Had a few of those." She grinned. "Really had a few of those." She took another drink. "But if it makes you happy it's not a bad thing."

"We're not really together."

"So? Having fun is a good point of healing."

She looked at her friend. "My dad was a jackass who had to give up his bad guy ties when I found out."

Darcy smiled and nodded. "That happens."

"I mean like he used to be a higher up thug."

"Kate, there's not a single job class that people like the mob haven't invaded. Printing included. Maybe especially with all the uses that printing presses can be used for." She gave her a look. "If he changed, then it's a great thing, even if it's because you found him out and told him you knew."

"I kinda busted his ploy to keep going on."

"It happens," Darcy agreed with a nod.

"Point. Thanks. I'm kinda fucked up right now."

"It's a very human condition, kiddo. Every human is fucked up one way or another. Sometimes it's something we went through, sometimes it's something we saw. Sometime's its our families. You just gotta deal with it and move on somehow."

Darcy looked at her. "I...got attacked a few years ago."

"I'm sorry. Did you work with someone?"

"Yeah. I had a therapist until last year. I didn't think I needed them anymore." Darcy nodded. "It's why I started to train. Did you...."

"I took some training after that thing in college but I'm not a fighter. Without weapons anyway. I'm not a great fighter without weapons."

"You could take the time to train," she offered.

Darcy came out to hug her. "You're not the first one that had the 'Darcy's normal and therefore vulnerable' feeling, kiddo. You're in good company though since it includes 'here, let me teach you how to shoot, Clint Barton and 'pretty girls should know how to do more than slap someone' Barnes." She grinned. "Not to mention 'you're a lab flunky, you have to let us protect you and follow orders' Steve Rogers." She smirked a tiny bit. "I was beating someone with a clipboard and he just let out this huge sigh and took the guy from me."

Kate looked at her. "You do really wacky things, Darcy."

"I know." She smirked. "I'm happy with that." She stared at her. "You're happy being Hawkeye and I'm happy being Darcy."

"Point. But if you want I'll help you find somewhere to train."

"Exercise is such a dirty word, Katie." She went back to the kitchen. "Am I making you a breakfast sandwich?"

"I already ate when I took the dogs out for a run in the park. Cutey of course rode in my backpack." Darcy's phone beeped. "Another question?" she asked at her dirty look.

"Someone asking if Hawkingbird is going out today." She looked at her.

"That's probably a bad guy," she said dryly. "Very few of them make fun of me for being like a kid between Clint and his ex-wife."

Darcy smirked and wrote back something smartassed about not letting pet birds fly free, it was dangerous for them, but she didn't own a pet bird at this time. She let Kate see it, cracking her up. Then she sent it and went back to making breakfast. "Should I cook for Clint?"

Kate got up to look out Darcy's bedroom window. She walked out shaking her head. "Still asleep on his couch with Lucky using him as a pillow." She flopped back down, cleaning her weapons. "How do you find an apartment?"

"You talk to people who have friends who've moved recently about where they looked and why they didn't like it. I asked Matt Murdock about his landlord and Clint found me this place."

"I need to talk to them myself." She considered it as she brushed her dog. Darcy made a few sandwiches, putting a few of them in the microwave for whenever Clint came over. Kate pulled out her phone to see all the messages. She sent one to Billy telling him she wasn't ready to go have fun yet. America and Billy both got told she was going home for a bit.

"You could keep the house and get roomies," Darcy reminded her, licking off her thumb while she ate.

"I'm not sure if I could handle that," Kate admitted.

"Okay, take Clint with you when you look at places, or some older guy. They'll try to trick you or overcharge you since you're a young woman. I still get some of that sometimes until I note I had owned apartments before."

"I can do that. He agreed to help me find one." She considered it, texting her friends then getting up. "Let me go handle that problem." She took her dog with her, meeting up with his buddies and Clint outside. They had a car between them. Darcy watched them go, smiling at their backs.

***

Darcy woke up to something flapping outside her window. She went to look, expecting it to be birds but Conor liked to bark at pigeons. He wasn't barking, he was staring at it oddly. She stared at the mechanical bird out there. "Hi," she told it. "Are you a drone or something?" The mechanical stork opened his chest cavity and pulled out a bundle, putting it on the window before taking off. "WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK!" she shouted. She opened the window, pulling the baby inside. It wasn't waking up.

"Conor, fetch the phone," she ordered, staring at the thing. He barked and got the phone, coming back to sniff and back away from the baby. "Yeah, it stinks," she agreed. She called 9 11. "Hi, I live in apartment 8 of my building and I just had a drone thingy drop a living infant on my windowsill. Lady, I'm not drunk," she said. "I just woke up. I'm really not drunk. I've got a really messy baby here in my hands and it's not mine." The 911 operator suggested a safe haven shelter. "Lady, it's not my kid," she said firmly.

"I haven't been pregnant and it's not my kid. So can I get some help please?" She got hung up on. "Fine. We're smart beings, we can handle this," she told the dog. They went into the bathroom first. She carefully peeled off the wet and messy blanket then clothes, putting them into the empty trash can in there so they could be bagged up for whenever someone did get here. She washed the baby off, it was horribly messy, but still asleep somehow. She considered it. "Miss Emmers is a former nurse," she said.

She got up and put a towel around the baby's naked body and put him in front of the dog. "Watch him, Conor, but don't sit on him. I'll be right back." She ran down the stairs to the apartment across the hall and the next floor down. "Mrs. Emmers, someone just dropped a baby on my fire escape," she said. "The baby was really messy and all that but also won't wake up and 911 thought I was drunk. I have no idea what to do."

"I'll come right up, Darcy. That's a horrible thing. Did you see who dropped it off?"

"It was a robotic bird," she said. "I have no idea. I'm so lost." The older woman patted her and followed her up the stairs to the bathroom.

"I thought you were kidding."

"No!" She shook her head. "The baby won't wake up. I had to give it a bath because it was in those," she said with a point at the nasty pile of cloth. "I tried to call 911. This is not my forte! I only take care of adults!"

"Calm down, Darcy. Panicking never helps." She checked the baby over. "Clearly sedated. Why drop it here?" Darcy shrugged. "All right. Let me call my son-in-law. He's not an officer but he works near one of the local ones. He can run over." She called him. "Paul, it's Momma. One of my neighbors just had a baby dropped on her windowsill to the fire escape. It was nasty and it's sedated. We need an officer here please and 911 laughed at her. Thank you, Paul. She's up in number eight, all the way at the top. Thanks." She hung up and tucked her phone back into her pocket. "It's a bit past a newborn."

"That's good," Darcy said, going to open the door. She came back. "I have no idea what to do about diapers or anything."

"Don't worry. Delores downstairs has one that visits sometimes." She texted her and the other older lady in the building came up to fuss over the baby. "Darcy here said that a robotic bird brought it."

Darcy pointed. "It's sitting on the other building staring at us." They looked at it oddly then went back to fussing over the baby. It still wasn't coming out of whatever sedative.

Darcy looked at the officer that came in. "Finally! I tried to call 911."

"Ma'am, when did you have the baby?" he asked with an encouraging smile.

"It's not mine. I've never been pregnant. I'm still not pregnant and I'm on meds to make sure I can't get pregnant ever."

"So a robotic drone really dropped it off?" he asked dryly.

She hauled him to the window and pointed. "Robotic stork." She looked at him.

"How do you know it's a robot?"

"It's got helicopter blades," she said. "The baby was in the chest cavity and it took it out and laid it on the windowsill when my dog alerted me something odd was out there. The baby won't wake up, thankfully my neighbors are *great* and have a clue. The baby was so nasty I had to give it a bath because it was so foul I didn't want to touch even the outer blanket layer. I have no idea what to do here so I called you guys. Your operator thought I was drunk!"

"I think you're panicking," he offered.

"What would you be doing?" she demanded.

"Darcy, panicking never helped any situation," Mrs. Emmers said patiently. "She's right, Officer. The baby's clearly sedated. It's been an hour and it hasn't woken up at all. I'm a former nurse and this isn't normal. The amount of refuse on the baby's things speaks of a long time in the drone."

"It's such an adorable thing," Delores said with a smile. "I brought up a few diapers just in case it was needed. My granddaughter won't mind too much that I leant her one."

"Still not mine," Darcy quipped with a hand wave. "The last girlfriend I had was in high school and she's got three kids but none are mine."

The officer coughed but nodded. "All right. I need to call in some people."

"We need to get the baby checked by an expert," Mrs. Emmers said. "And if we can we need to trace that drone. Or capture it."

Darcy nodded. "Yeah, we might be able to do that." She went to look at Clint's apartment. He was barely coming in. She waved and mimed 'call me'. He huffed but did. "Clint, majorly important. Look toward the river, see that silver stork? It's a drone and it dropped a baby on my doorstep. We need it captured. Can you net arrow it? Please?" She listened. "Seriously. Yes, a robotic stork, Clint. Please? Thanks." She hung up. Clint climbed out onto his fire escape and did get the drone bird with a net arrow. He gathered it and brought it over. "Thank you."

He looked at the baby. "Wow."

"Yeah!" She nodded. "And it was carrying the baby in its chest cavity and it was hugely nasty."

"So a long time flying," Clint said. "I wonder if Stark can search it out." He was texting him. Stark was having a fit.

Some woman in a lab coat stomped up the stairs. "I'm sorry. My son was meant to go to his father, who used to live here. Would you know where he went?" she asked politely.

Darcy stared at her. "How irresponsible are you!" she demanded. "You could've killed that kid!"

"I..."

"Did you even test the range of that drone? Or with the extra weight?"

"Of course I did!" she complained back.

"Babies wiggle," Clint said. "How did you avoid that wobble in the flight path?" he asked, putting his phone on speaker so Stark could hear.

"That's why I sedated it. Can I have it back?" she asked with a smile for the officer.

"Hell no!" Darcy shouted. "You put a baby in a robotic stork drone and sent it who knows how many miles! You endangered the baby's life! You endangered whoever would've found it if it wasn't someone with *some* sense ! How dare you!"

"My ex-boyfriend said he was going to take it in," she said.

Darcy stared at her. "I know a lot of irresponsible scientists, but damn! You broke the damn mold." Clint winced.

"Are you a scientist?" she huffed.

"No, I'm a former lab intern and I've seen worse problems out of lab people but you're about to take the top damn prize, lady! Who is the baby's daddy? We can contact him so the officers can make sure he's a responsible adult sort."

"His name's Johnny," she said with a sniff. "You're not one of us, you wouldn't understand."

"I damn sure know how to test things to make sure they won't fall out of the sky with an innocent life!"

"Johnny Storm?" Clint asked. The scientist smiled and nodded. "We can test the baby," Clint told the officer.

"Yes, we can. I'm in the tower, we can do the DNA swab ourselves and notify him," Stark's voice said. "We have his DNA in a rescue kit. Bring the baby here and you can have social services show up to gather it once we make sure that's not the daddy," Stark said.

"Um, Mr. Stark?" the officer asked. It was a good assumption since he was standing in front of the very angry Avengers member who had called the guy. Since he was talking about testing and science, it probably wasn't Captain America and he doubted Doctor Banner would be that calm. He got a grunt of assent. "It's about shift change and I'm not sure if I can do that. They're cracking down on overtime."

"Once you get here, you can call in for a relief officer," he said patiently. "We won't be hurting the kid and you'll be having a lot of fun arresting that bimbo of science anyway, Officer. Also, our infirmary is great so they can check the baby over for the sedative and other tests that might be needed." The sound of music in the background. "Great, Storm's out and about doing something."

"Use the power of Twitter," Darcy said. "Or email Sue."

"What?" Stark demanded.

"Sue. His sister?" She pulled out her phone to look up Sue's twitter. "She still allows private emails."

"I didn't think any of us allowed those," Stark admitted.

"They use it for reports in," Clint admitted.

Darcy finished typing and sent it then sent one to their twitter. "I'm sending one in my name saying that she or Johnny need to call you, Stark. It's seriously important and a huge problem in the making. Especially since he's pooping again." The older ladies took him to change. Darcy looked at the officer, who was calling in. He nodded, arresting the mother, who was screaming.

"Bring me the drone too," Stark ordered. "I can get into the tracking profile to see where she started it from for the evidence chain."

"Yes, Mr. Stark. Thank you all for the help." He carefully took the baby and trash bag of clothes. The older ladies smiled and waved. Clint walked him down to hand over the drone. The ladies came down chatting. The officer smiled and shook their hands but had to go arrest her.

Clint came back, staring at her. "How does this sort of thing happen around you?"

"I have no idea. I was napping on the couch until Conor started to make confused noises at the fire escape." She shrugged. "And I don't think Johnny used to live here."

"No," he said with a head shake. "He lives uptown in the Baxter building. I've sent him a twitter not to panic."

She hugged him. "Thank you."

"Welcome." He smiled. "You better?"

"Still a bit panicky. The 911 operator thought I was drunk."

He nodded. "I thought you were drugged again," he admitted. "Let me go get dinner. Katie's eating with friends tonight and probably drinking the rest of her father's liquor."

"Okay. I'm going to go take a long bath after I scrub that nastiness out of the tub." He smiled but let her do that. Clint went to have dinner with his dog and relax. It was one hell of a shock.

Uptown, Stark was exposing the flight plan that was programmed in, letting the officers that had been called up to spare the first one see it. "She sent it from lower New Jersey so it had to fly over water at the very least." He looked at them. "And the DNA test," he said, going to that machine. "Shows no 'X' gene. And is not his. But a match came up in CODIS." He printed it and handed it over with a flourish and a smirk. "You have fun with them."

"Oh, we will, Mr. Stark. Thank you for that help."

"I thought I had seen all the possible combinations of idiots that could be in a lab. This one's even far out there for my weird scientists."

"I understand why the 911 operator thought she was drunk," one of them admitted. "Hopefully the father's a better sort." They left together, with the drone bird.

Stark went to talk to Pepper, who had Sue Storm in there. "Did she tell you why?"

"Yeah. Is it his?"

"No. It comes up with a nice blond guy that lives in upper Pennsylvania." He flopped down. "She was in New Jersey and had the stork drone flying from there." Sue winced. "Apparently she wasn't there very long since she had time to show up at Darcy's apartment an hour and a half after the baby landed."

"Wow," Sue said. "That's seriously warped and wrong." She shook her head. "I'll tell Johnny he's off the hook and what's going on. We all know he plays safely."

"Most of us guys have at least one scare like that," Tony quipped.

"I think this is his third," Sue admitted. "Thanks, Tony, and you as well, Pepper." She shook their hands and went back to their building, strolling into their kitchen where Johnny was eating fruit. "It's not yours." He sighed in relief. "He's a blond guy from Pennsylvania. Still freaky though."

"Very. I'm glad I got warned before someone started to yell about it." He ate a bite. "She really put it into a drone shaped like a stork?"

"She really did and it was flying from New Jersey." He glared. "Yeah, she's under arrest. She's seriously twisted. Even Stark agreed with that."

"So do I." He walked off eating his pear and shaking his head. "It's not mine. Some guy pretended to be me to pick up women in a bar apparently."

"Not the first time," Reed Richards complained. "I can't believe they used twitter."

"We weren't here," Ben reminded him. "It was fastest and it's not like that lady spilled any news."

"She's Jane Foster's former intern," Sue said as she walked out to join them. "She sent me a private email and the tweet was an announcement to check it."

"I'm just happy some reporter can't yell that at me as I'm flying past," Johnny said. He threw out the pear core and flopped down. "The kid okay?"

"Stark found the dad in CODIS," she admitted. "So we'll see."

He looked at her and nodded. "Rough life for the kid to start with."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I'm just glad that Lewis had some sense. Or at least had people she could lean on for sense since she had to call a few neighbors for help. I sent a private 'thank you' email and she said it wasn't a problem and the neighbors were happy to cuddle the quiet little guy."

Johnny nodded. "That's really not something I want to wake up to either."

"Hopefully she'll go to work for someone ethical when she gets out," Reed said. "Even with her record." Everyone stared at him. "Better than AIM surely."

"True," Sue agreed with a nod. "That's better than AIM taking her in."

They all relaxed and watched the news about the baby and drone that had hit the local news. At least they weren't reporting why it had been sent there. The reporters were complaining about their fight though. Even though they hadn't done any property damage this time.

***

Darcy woke up, staring up at the ceiling. There weren't that many places that looked that ugly and smelled this bad. She looked around the cubicle she was in, then sighed, making herself sit up with a groan of pain for her headache. She held her head, looking over her body. Two bandages she didn't have the day before. A sore ankle that was rabidly purple and swelling. She was frowning at it when someone walked in. She blinked at the woman. "How did I get here?" she asked.

The woman stared at her. "We were hoping you knew, ma'am."

"Darcy Lewis," she said, waving her free hand slightly. She blinked a few times. "I take it I have a concussion?" The woman nodded, smirking some. "Are you a nurse, a doc, or HYDRA?" she asked bluntly. "So I know how much I have to aggravate my head?"

"I'm a nurse, Miss Lewis. I'm definitely not HYDRA, they pay much worse than even a city hospital does."

"Okay." She nodded slightly and winced again, rubbing her neck. "Did I break the ankle?"

"Yup." She paged the doctor and came back. "Do you know what day it is?"

"It had better still be Wednesday because I have to go tutor tonight," she said bluntly. "Or else the kids will get mad at me."

"It's Wednesday," she agreed. "Do you know who attacked you?"

"Nope. I was walking my dog....shit, where's my dog!"

"Calm down. The officer that called you in said he found your dog and a friend of yours ran over to grab Conor from him." Darcy looked at her. "I have no clue, Miss Lewis. He said an attempted attack."

Darcy grimaced. "Not likely. Not with stab wounds." She looked at the bandages, peeling up one corner to look at. "Someone has pretty stitches." She pushed it back down with a sigh. "Last I knew I was taking my dog out for some playing in the park time. There's no real muggers where I live since it's a mob run neighborhood. I've had to discourage a few of the mob guys in the past who snuck in to leave me a flimsy nightgown." She blinked at the new person coming in. "Stark?"

"I'm going to start designing safety hardware, just for you," he said bluntly.

She shifted to hug him. "Sure. I'd like that. Thank you." She pulled back. "I got mugged?"

"No, you nearly got taken by HYDRA guys and you owe the Russian mob guys some cookies."

She smiled. "I make great rum balls in mass quantities. They helped?"

"Yeah, two of their young ones helped stop the attack and hurt the guys who came after you. One of them had Conor and gave him to one of your tutoring kids who lives near there. He's all right." She sighed but nodded, rubbing her forehead again. "You good?"

"My head hurts but I'm guessing that's normal." She looked at the nurse, who nodded. "Anything I haven't figured out yet?"

"No, you seem to have found all your injuries. Though you're presently wearing a pad because you were having bleed over."

Darcy shook her head. "I shouldn't be bleeding at all for another week." The nurse winced, making that note. "So probably kicked?"

"Could be," she agreed. "I'll let the doctor know. You can't leave for another few hours."

"That's cool," Stark agreed. "She has fussy friends." The nurse nodded, going to tell the doctor that. He looked at her. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

"My head aches," she admitted. "My neck's a bit stiff too, but I think I'll live."

"Good." He stared at her. "We really have to discourage them."

"Yeah, we need to," she agreed. "I have no idea how though. I'm all out of ideas against them."

Stark nodded. "I'm not." She grinned at him. The doctor walked in. "I'm here to pick her up."

"That's fine as long as Miss Lewis doesn't mind." She looked at her. "Are you certain about your cycle, Miss Lewis?"

"Yeah. I'm on the depo shot. I'm due in about eight days and I bleed a bit around it but usually only a few days before, not a week."

"I see." She pushed her back down, looking at her stomach. "Have you had any recent surgeries?"

"A doctor had to fix it where my IUD went into my uterus. Not fully punctured through but that was about four months ago?" she asked, looking at Tony, who nodded. "About four months ago."

The doctor looked at her. "You're that lady."

"Unfortunately and it looks like it may've been them again."

"Why do they want you?"

"Something about genetics and I'm compatible with their wanted father in the best way. I won the lottery," she said dryly. "I like the guy, he's a nice guy, and if it was normal things I'd probably flirt with him. Not for HYDRA but I'll be damned if they're going to knock me up."

"That makes more sense." She pressed again. "We can do an ultrasound but it could be from a kick or it could be that place reopening."

"Could it be from the stabs?" Tony asked with a point at the bandages.

The doctor shook her head. "Both are too high and too shallow." She checked her stomach again, shaking her head. "I don't know why. Let me get you sent up for an ultrasound. Can you stay tonight?"

"No. I need to go tutor my kids tonight."

"Can't someone fill in?" the doctor asked.

"No. Sorry. If it's not life threatening I can wait until tomorrow for the ultrasound results. My doc's Emmerson Whitwacker."

"I've seen him seeing patients. I can send him those results. Let me send you up for the ultrasound and then we'll see if we can release you." She went to make that arrangement then let the orderlies wheel her off. Tony followed her. The doctor wouldn't ask why. She knew who Stark was and this one being jumped by HYDRA probably meant it was a huge problem starting again.

***

Darcy hopped into the tutoring class that night. She sighed as she sat down, putting the crutches beside her seat. She looked at the kids. "The dog's with Kate tonight until I get home." She blinked at them.

"What happened to you?" one of the older women asked.

"Attempted attack in the park. I really need to bake for some mob guys that helped save me." She blinked a few more times then sighed. "Okay, let's get back to work. We're on....English tonight?" They nodded. "That's cool. I can handle that." She used her crutch to pull the white board over then wrote out where they were. Her handwriting slanted thanks to the angle but it happened.

The people there for tutoring just humored her for a bit until she nearly fell asleep. Then she woke up and called it her break for the night and they could take ten and they'd start with math. The guys talked amongst themselves to make sure Darcy made it into her cab home. She was a bit vulnerable right now.

***

Darcy blinked as a tongue suddenly woke her up with slobbery kisses. "Hey, Lucky," she said, petting him. "Thank you for the wake-up, baby." She sat up, holding her head.

"Six more days before the headache's gone," Clint called from the kitchen.

"That's good to know," she called back. "Okay, let me get up and shower." She looked at the dog. "Can I get up to take a human bath?" He lapped her again, making her hug him with a smile. "That's a good bath, yup. Let me just get up then." Lucky got out of the way so she could climb out of bed and trudge to the couch. Clint handed her coffee, earning a smile. "Thanks. When did you get back?"

"When Barnes called to tell me that you wouldn't wake up." He stared at her.

"Apparently they tried to snatch me yesterday from the park. I really have to make the mob boys some cookies." She sipped her coffee with both hands.

He blinked. "Excuse me?" he demanded calmly. She shrugged. "What do you remember?"

"Not a thing. I remember going for a walk with Conor. Speaking of, where is my dog?"

"On Barnes," he said with a point. "He's holding him in place while he growls."

"My dog's growling?"

"Barnes is growling. Your dog is making sure he's not a threat." Clint stared at her. "So what the hell happened?"

"I have no idea. I woke up in the ER and Stark got there a few minutes later."

He pulled out his phone to call Pepper. Stark was with her. "Pepper, Clint. What happened that Stark had to help Darcy with yesterday?" He listened, humming a bit in a few spots. "Okay...." She said something else. "She's got a tazer system on her door and windows, Pepper. You can tell him not to worry about that part. Yeah, him doing security gear would be great. Thanks, Pepper. No, I'm here. I got stopped by the Bro-Code guys to see how she was." He pushed Darcy back down. "You can bake them cookies later for saving you, Darcy." She rolled her eyes but finished her coffee while cuddling Lucky. "Yeah, I'm here. Actually, she lives next door to me, Pepper. Thanks and tell Stark thanks too."

"He dropped me off at my tutoring gig last night," Darcy said. "He was really nice yesterday."

He smiled at her. "Pepper said that's a great thing." He listened. "Thanks, Pepper. Yup, we can do that." He hung up and looked at her ankle. "The x-ray said it's slightly broken. The stab wounds should be okay? And the bleeding is from a hard kick?"

She nodded slightly. "Two small, shallow stab wounds and the doc has really pretty stitching." She heard the growling from Bucky now so she looked at him. "I'm okay." She looked at Clint again, wincing when her head throbbed at that movement. "The bleeding was atypical so they did a fast ultrasound. It didn't come from more than bruising I guess."

He stared at her. "Who?" he demanded a bit too calmly.

She shrugged. "I don't remember. An officer called the ambulance for me and handed the dog to someone."

"Okay," he said, walking over to talk to Bucky, who had told him that Darcy was injured. "Who attacked her?"

"HYDRA minor person that just moved to AIM," he said quietly. "I looked them up through May and Coulson."

"So he turned his breeding program over?" she guessed.

"Apparently he's wanting more than one kid now and he realized he didn't know enough about human reproduction thanks to you getting his licenses and the lawsuit against him for the last time they got us." He got up to come look at her. "You fought back like hell. One of them was wearing armor so the tazer didn't work until you stuck the pen one in his ear." She grinned. "His screaming was what brought the officer to help. The mob guys were rushing over to help you then and Conor went with one of them for a few hours until they handed him to me." She patted him on the hand with a smile. "Other than that, they played pretty dirty and came ready for someone who could fight like Natasha and had guns, not tazers. So they overestimated you."

"You should spar with Katie," Darcy told him. "She's been training for years in multiple martial arts."

He blinked a few times. "She has?" Clint nodded. "Huh." He looked at Darcy again. "We've got to figure this out."

"Can we end both AIM and HYDRA?" she asked.

"I damn sure hope so," Bucky said dryly. "Soon hopefully." Someone pounded on the door and Darcy moaned, holding her head. "Give me a second." He handed over Conor, who curled up with Lucky for now to watch the sick human. He walked slowly over to open the door so they had to wait. "Your mother taught you better manners than that, Steven Grant Rogers," he said dryly. "You don't pound on a door like it's an emergency unless it is."

Steve stared at him. "She got attacked, again!"

"By AIM," he agreed dryly. "The vet doctor turned his breeding program to them."

Steve pushed past him. "Darcy, are you okay?"

"Throbbing headache," she admitted. "Ankle's a bit screwed for a few weeks. I'll be okay."

"Two stab wounds and a bruised uterus from a kick," Clint added in dryly. "Our local Bro guys helped her."

Steve blinked at him. "Seriously?" Clint nodded. "Huh."

"I'm making them rum balls when I can read the recipe," Darcy quipped. "They deserve it."

Clint patted her on the head gently. "It'll be about a week. Trust me, been here before." He went to make more coffee, taking Darcy's cup with him. "Make her drink water before this new cup of coffee." Darcy took the bottle of water and drank it so she could have her second cup of life.

Steve looked at Clint. "Can we do anything to stop them this time?"

"I don't know, Steve. Can we?" he shot back with a grin. Steve scowled. Clint shrugged. "I have no idea how to deal with AIM outside of a ton of explosive arrows."

Kate rushed in and slammed the door. "Darcy!"

"I'm okay. Just got a headache." She waved a hand. "I'm awake and all that."

Kate stared at her. "You nearly got kidnaped again!"

"By AIM," Clint quipped. She handed her a cup of coffee. "Darcy's." Kate handed it over and got her own. "She's going to make the guys that helped her rum balls."

"Aww, that's sweet of her," she said dryly. "Who helped?"

"Some of the mob boys."

Kate nearly dropped her cup of coffee. "Really?" He nodded with a grin. "Seriously?" she demanded.

"From what I've been told," Darcy agreed. "I just need to be able to read the recipe. This concussion stuff sucks. I need to not do this again."

Kate looked at her then at Clint, who was smirking and nodding. Kate huffed then sipped her coffee to calm down. "Okay, so how do we stop this shit? Before it spreads and they want my kids too?"

"I don't think they want yours," Steve said.

She looked at him. "I've spent three years in training and I'm already better than half the people that try to become Avengers," she said bluntly. "I may not be a mutant, but I'm damn sure good."

"You are," Bucky agreed. "We should test you."

"Sure. Come to my gym later," she said with a hand wave. He stared at her, looking slightly smug. "My trainers are meaner than you'll ever be, Barnes. Then again, he's a former commando and scarred horribly." Clint shuddered. "I take it you know him?"

"Yup," he agreed. "Natasha can't beat him in a fair fight." She grinned. "He did you good, Kate. You're excellent at all the stuff you trained in. Not too many people can get third degree blackbelts in multiple forms in three years."

"Thanks, Clint." She gave him a one-armed hug. Then she found stuff to warm up for breakfast. "Cutey's sleeping the sleep of the anesthetized at the vets so she can be fixed. I guess she was too young for the shelter to get."

"I checked, Conor's got no balls," Darcy said. "So they got him."

Clint looked at her then shook his head. "I don't want to know how you check that."

"There's no sack," she said. "It's got a tiny surgical line."

"Ah. Yeah, I knew I didn't want to know." He sipped his own coffee with a sigh. "So, how are we going to defeat this one, Steve?"

Steve glared at him. "Quickly hopefully."

"The vet guy got arrested yesterday," Kate said with a smile. "We spotted him out and about and told the NYPD so they could capture him. Because there's no SHIELD agents that're good in the city right now. They were more than happy to arrest him for kidnaping and other charges." She smirked at him. Darcy waved a hand so she came over to get hugged. "You're welcome."

"Thank you. That was really nice of you guys."

"Not a problem. Just in case he decides I'm hot too, Darce." She went back to warming up breakfast. She looked at Barnes. "By the way, I had a talk with my biology teacher, who has a masters in genetics." He winced. "I asked him why that would've been, using you and Darcy. He told me the reasons why the serum probably latched better onto certain gene patterns. America shares two of the three he thought might be the ones they were targeting."

"Your teammate America?" Clint demanded. She nodded. "You had it tested?"

"Hell yes."

"Do you?" Steve asked.

"All three," she admitted. "I sent the lecture's talk, on tape since I taped it on my phone, and the test results to Banner. Haven't heard back yet. Just in case it's important for someone like his girlfriend Betty."

Steve pulled out his phone to call him. "Bruce, Steve. Did you get something from Kate Bishop about genetic patterns and them picking on Darcy due to three different patterns? Email. She used Bucky and Darcy's kidnaping as the question to her teacher, who has a masters in genetics." He listened to him get into the file. He heard the growl. "Yes, no?" he asked. "Okay. No, America Chavez is Miss America," he said dryly. "Kate's teammate. Yes, her. That's why she was worried. Oh, and they caught the vet guy yesterday.

"Kate's team turned him into the NYPD. Thank you." He listened. "Great. Thanks, Bruce. Please do." He hung up. "Your teacher may be right, Bruce thinks it's probably at least one of those that they're targeting. He'll make sure the SHIELD geeks with them today, as he called them, heard that they arrested that vet." Darcy giggled. "And Bruce was kinda worried about others dealing with the serum."

"My teacher was a grad assistant when Bruce had his accident," she said. "At Culver."

"One of his?" Clint asked.

"No. With the lady that worked in Miss Betty's lab."

Steve sent that text to Bruce, who agreed he had recognized the nasally voice and the guy had been pretty good at it. He had hoped he'd be working on diseases, not teaching at a prep school. "He hoped the guy would be working on stuff," Steve told her.

"He is. He can't get funding so he's got a mundane job," Kate said. "He's gotten a few of the students in to be his TA for work if they were interested in hardcore science stuff."

Steve sent that and Bruce agreed he'd talk to him later about that. Then he sent a second one. "Bruce said to please spank you before they have a third Hulk-type being running around," he told her with a smile.

She smirked back. "If he hasn't done it yet...."

"Point. I guess."

"His main focus is a genetic disease that his sister had. He tells us each year at the beginning of the year so we don't try to use that topic to suck up to him." She sipped her coffee.

"Whatever's burning, Kate," Darcy said. She pulled it out of the oven and put it in front of the others so they could eat. Darcy sniffed and moaned. "Food bad."

"Food will be bad for about three days," Clint assured her, coming out to sit on the other side of the dogs.

Steve sent that to Bruce and got breakfast for himself. It had been a long night.

***

Darcy hopped up to where the majority of the bro mob guys she had seen in the neighborhood were, smiling at them. "These are for the guys who helped me the other day," she said with a grin. "They deserve the good treats."

One of them sniffed then looked at her. "Cookies? Really?"

She pinched him on the cheek. "Women like me don't go 'my hero', and fall into their laps mysteriously undressed for rescues. If I did, there'd be a lot of happier people on certain teams." She grinned. "Make sure they get those first, guys. Please?" They all nodded, giving her strange looks. "Oh, and tell them those guys weren't HYDRA, they were AIM but it was for the same reason so they kept me from being knocked up by someone rude." She strolled off as casually as one could on crutches.

The guy she pinched the cheek of looked at the others. "She's just weird," he said. They all nodded. "You two," he called with a snap. Two of the young wannabes hopped over to them. "Go find Yuri and his brother. The crazy lady with the dog gave them a thank you present." They ran off together. He sniffed again then looked. "Ball cookies."

One grabbed one to taste and moaned. "She used the good rum too."

Those two got there before most of the cookies disappeared. The main guy looked at them. "That lady with the dog said thank you and made you cookies for helping save her from AIM." He handed over the plate of them. "Rum cookies."

"That's sweet of her. She's that sort of girl," the older brother agreed. "She tutors kids for their GED too." They walked off together eating their cookies. It was a good thank you. They could probably flirt with her later, which is why they had been following her in the park before she got attacked from behind. She was sweet that way.

The other guys all shook their heads. Those two were just as weird as that lady and the one-armed guy that hung around on that lady's roof.

***

Darcy hopped into her tutoring session, seeing only two people. "We all out this weekend?" she asked.

"Huge ball game," one of them said with a shrug.

Darcy smiled. "That happens. We're going to do fractions today so there's a whole bunch of food for you guys then." They smiled and settled in to go over what she needed them to. Then she went to get the supply bag she had packed and brought it back up with some help from a late student. He got off work just before this time so she was used to him being late. She cut things up and taught them her special recipe for this fruit cobbler in the electric skillet, and used it to teach them how to measure in fractions plus add in fractions. It helped a lot.

When the librarian came in to see what they were doing, Darcy smiled and let them have some of the cobbler. "Fractions is cooking," the lone female agreed with a nod. "And it's tasty." Darcy grinned.

"That's fine, dear. It's a good way to learn fractions. That's how I learned them, from my own mother." She smiled and patted Darcy on the shoulder. "Did you see in the paper today that there's someone saying that no one pays you to do this?"

"Of course not. The last group that was doing GED prep work got run out thanks to budget issues and threats. I, however, am not scared of such idiots." She smiled. "I don't get paid for this but it's a necessary thing and I do good helping them. And the rest of the time I work with other charity groups." The librarian gaped. Darcy smiled. "I have time I can give. It's always easier to give time than money."

"I hadn't thought about that, and you're right, it can be." She patted her on the shoulder. "It came from some political source within the charity group network."

"Well, they're partially right but then again it's probably the slimeball I had to tase to get him off my rear end."

The librarian shuddered. "I remember seeing that, dear. You be safe and thank you for not bringing the dog." She smiled at the students. "We have no problems with you guys eating in here. Just not in the main library please." Darcy pulled out storage bowls with lids and the librarian smiled at her for that thoughtfulness before leaving them alone.

"I thought we had a group that did all this," the female said.

Darcy shook her head. "There used to be. Their budget got cut and they got threatened by some gang kids. So they transferred to one of the local food banks. I don't see it as a problem of running lessons. I'm not hampered by a budget I have to figure out. I don't hire people."

"The ones that filled in when you were sick?"

"They're friends. Kate's in high school, her senior year. Scott's helped me when I was doing the same thing in Chicago, before they basically blackmailed me into moving back to New York. Clint's a friend and a neighbor who works with Scott." They all smiled at her. "I have time to give and it's important to me I help others with that time. My mother would be ashamed if I used it to binge netflix most of the time." She smiled. "My mom used to work in abuse shelters, some of the first in California. She taught me that I am responsible for making the world a better place by the time I'm a grandmother. Or before I die from partying because she knew I had it in me even though I'm not more than a part-time clubber."

"That makes sense," the guys agreed with a nod. They dished out more food to take home and got back to work on the fraction worksheet. It wasn't that hard. The math problems were worse in the next section.

Darcy smiled at the lone female. "Also, I have never minded if you have to watch the kid during this. It means they learn to like learning from the first they can read. I've had more than a few kids in here."

"I don't have any."

Darcy smiled. "That's a nice thing at your age, SweetiePie. I've had a few kids who were very young teens that had to bring in their kids. And a few dads. Which was kinda happy making to see a dad doing stuff. Even where I live I never see the dads taking the kids out to the park."

She smiled and nodded. "I've seen many of those around me too."

"I've seen a few I was shocked at. Thor was like that until he figured out kids play with his hair and like his hammer to teeth on." They all stared. She shrugged a bit. "I used to work with Jane."

"Where are they now? No one's seen Thor at battles," one of the guys said.

"Asgard. His mom's ghost wanted him home for a few months." They all nodded. "Jane's probably teaching Emma all about stars." They smiled but got back to work. It was a long night without anyone else being there. They got through another two sections before it was time to go.

The older guy who had to come in late looked at her as she packed things into her back seat. "Darcy, how are you driving with a broken ankle?"

"Its not that bad." She smiled at him as she shut the door. She waved off the extra food. "No, we made it for you guys. Have it for lunch tomorrow." They smiled and left them to talk. "It's not even fully broken, Dale. I'm fine to drive." They heard an explosion and looked. "Hopefully that's not where I'm headed but I'm fine to drive." He nodded. "Go be safe." He ran off. She checked before getting into her car and driving toward home, which was in the direction of the explosion as it happened. She had to divert around the area and honked at someone in her way, but they fled. She had to park thanks to an officer signaling her to pull over. "I'm heading out of the area, Officer."

"Ma'am, we don't advise driving during these things," he complained.

"I was uptown when it started, Officer. Really, I'm okay." He stared at her. "Fine." She grabbed her bag and purse, putting them together and then her crutches, climbing out and hopping out of the way.

"Ma'am, we need you out of the way."

She stared at him. "Shut up." He flinched back. "First, they're not over here. They're four blocks that way," she said with a point. "That's why I diverted this way since I live in Bed-Stuy. Second, if that's an NYPD uniform I'd be shocked."

"I'm a transit officer."

"Oh, okay. Sure." She hopped off, using her keys to turn on her alarm. "It's got a shock system on it." She kept hopping and sighed, going to the coffee shop up the street. They smiled as she hopped in. "I got yelled at for daring to divert around the problem and be driving." They laughed. She paid for a coffee and settled in to wait it out. That officer was still glaring at her car by the time it was done with and she was back there. "Thanks for watching it," she said as she hopped past him.

"Ma'am, this area is still closed," he said firmly.

She stared at him. "The incident in question never came more than three blocks from here, Officer. I am going home. If you don't like me going home, then you'd better call a team to come get me. I've had worse try me recently and that's why my ankle's broken." He backed off, calling that in. She got in and started the car then drove off. An officer stopped her a few blocks later. She turned off the car and rolled down the window slightly, staring at him. "What now?"

"Ma'am, you were in that incident area."

"I was three blocks over, I diverted on purpose, and I was driving *out* of the area when I got stopped by some huffy little asshole who was a supposed transit officer. He's the one that made me park, go get coffee, and come back once it was done with. Which is what I did, and now I'm going home."

"Ma'am, you're not shit."

"Sweetheart, you're an idiot." She held up her ID in her proper name. "And probably on the take to that idiot politician wannabe. I just want to go home to put up my broken ankle. Your person made me wait an extra hour."

"Ma'am, get out of the car."

"No." She stared at him. "Because you don't even have a reason to give me a ticket by the law, Officer."

"Are you a lawyer?"

She smiled. "By the way I'm taping this for my lawyer and I've already sent part of it." He glared. She stared at him. "I'm under three different death threats, Officer. I'm not getting out of this car." She pointed. "Considering that's the guy that kidnaped me once."

"I bet," he sneered. "Get out of the car."

"Sure." She got out with her crutches and had to fire on the guy that ran at her with his gun out. "Great of you to help," she said dryly. "Thankfully I wear body cameras as well." He stomped off. She got back in. "Have a great night," she called and drove off, over the guy's leg. She called her lawyer on the way to warn him she might need him to come bail her out of jail. No officer followed her and she knew she had been following city protocol during emergencies. She got home and posted the first part of the night's problems online, tagging in the city's police commissioner.

The responses she got back agreed she had been doing the right thing, including from an NYPD captain. She sent him the rest of it with the tag of 'not sure if they were real officers or not'. He growled back but she pointed out she wasn't going to put up with that problem. He agreed she had been right until she had left the questioning scene without permission. She pointed out he had stomped off to his car and not gotten back out and if they wanted to give her a ticket for that, the local station had her name, address, and phone number from a few incidents of people trying to kill her. He growled but agreed they could do that.

***

Darcy looked at the judge a week later, putting down the money for the ticket. "That's for that, Your Honor, but I wanted to note something. I was doing the correct plan for attacks in the city when an officer stopped me for no reason. Three blocks from the incident and closed off area. Is that not protocol?"

"It is," he agreed. "Can you prove that?"

"I wear body cameras to and from my tutoring lessons, Your Honor. Just in case since I've been taken a few times." She let the bailiff have the DVD. They watched it. She stared at him. "I was doing what I was supposed to do when that first officer stopped me."

"You were," he admitted. "Though mouthy."

"Your Honor, I'm two weeks out of a newly broken ankle. Frankly, that kept me over an hour. I felt like shit and he was breaking protocol and causing civilian problems. Why is that my fault?"

He blinked at her. "You're mouthy, Miss Lewis."

"Yeah." She nodded. "When faced with stupid things I am. When faced with people who are abusing their authority, I definitely am." She smiled. "I have no problem with most of the officers in this city, Your Honor. I've worked with them a number of times over the threats I'm under."

"I see. Death?"

"And kidnaping." She handed the bailiff the file from SHIELD. "That's my federal file on that problem."

He looked it over, grimacing. "I see." He looked at her. "I'd be cautious enough to wear a body camera as well," he admitted. He handed it back through the bailiff. "You still left the questioning."

"Which I'm ready to pay the ticket for," she said, holding it up and the money. "Though the officer just retreated to his car and didn't say anything or try anything to stop me."

He blinked. "No lights? No sirens?"

"No, Your Honor. That's on the other clip on the tape. I edited out the coffeeshop hour." He turned it to that video and watched it, grimacing at it. "I kept it running all the way back to near my neighborhood. I waved at a few cops I know on the way. I see them when I'm walking my dog. One of them handed me the ticket actually." She handed it to the bailiff. "That's the exact amount on the ticket."

He counted it and made a receipt for her. "Here, Your Honor." He handed it over.

He looked and nodded. "That's prompt of you, Miss DeCriths."

"I have no intention of ducking out of the ticket, Your Honor, but I'm not going to be charged with something I didn't do."

"Point." He looked at the wanted ticket and misdemeanor charge. "I believe she's right. She was doing as ordered by the police department for civilians in a danger zone." He looked at the prosecutor. "She did not fight the charge of leaving a questioning, though she could have probably done so and won."

"We have not seen that video, Your Honor," he said.

Darcy looked at him then handed over something. "The courier receipt for when it got to your office, Sir." She looked at the judge again.

"You've been here before?" the judge guessed. She smiled and pulled up something, handing her phone to the bailiff to show him. "Oh, I heard about that lawsuit." He handed the phone back. She put it into her purse after turning it back off. "That makes sense."

"And the price he put on my head has went up twice this year."

"That was in the file, but not who had started it." Darcy nodded at that. "That's fine and a reasonable reason to be paranoid." He looked at the prosecutor. "You did not prove your case. She has her reasons to be paranoid. Though, I noticed you ran over the leg of the person that tried to shoot you," he told her.

She nodded. "I did," she agreed with a smile. "It kept me from having to fight back again on a broken ankle."

He blinked. "Reasonable I suppose. Are they going to come after you again?"

"There's always hope they give up and grow up, but I'm doubting it'll be today." She pointed outside. "I can hear the guards yelling at people to put the weapons down. Mine's out there too." The bailiff went to look. One of the prosecutors lunged at her and she tripped him with a crutch then walked around the table. "Yes?" she asked him dryly. "Problems?" The judge cleared his throat. "I don't want an assault charge, Your Honor. Could you tell him to stop it before I have to get mean? I really hate being mean."

The judge nodded. "She's not to need to get mean," he ordered. "Go back to your side and leave her be."

Darcy waited until he moved to go back to her seat. She stared at the table then waved a hand. "Sir, we need some help. That's not my field of interest." The bailiff came back to look then called that in. She picked up her purse and crutches, getting out of the way. "Not mine."

"She probably has another one in her bag," the prosecutor sneered.

Darcy looked at him. "My purse got checked on the way in because I beeped due to my tablet I forgot I had with me. They would've found something like that." She handed the bag to the bailiff. "Please look if you want."

He emptied it to look through, shaking his head. "Nothing even remotely like the device." He repacked it and handed it to her. "We need you more out of the way, Miss DeCriths." She hopped to the wall, leaning on it by the flag. The judge nodded, coming down to look. Two officers ran in to look at the device.

"We need to take it off," he said.

Darcy looked in her bag. "All I have is a hidden knife," she offered. "If it'll help." The bailiff stared at her. She pulled it to hold up. "You didn't look in the makeup bag. It's tiny and not real useful except for getting doors and windows open to escape." She handed it over.

"I thought that was a makeup brush," he admitted, looking it over. "What was that tube thing, Miss DeCriths?"

She smiled. "My allowed, hidden tazer." She pulled it out to show him and the card that was the miniatured letter. "I'm allowed by FBI people."

He read it and nodded. "That's good." He looked at it then handed it back. "You should not have snuck that in."

"I think I have a good reason to be paranoid. I've been attacked in a courtroom before arguing about the putz I put away for being a horrible human being." She tucked it back in there. The judge glared. "That investment firm a few years back? That was my uncle's firm and his partner that I had to have arrested for embezzling, Your Honor. HYDRA attacked the courtroom."

"She does have a miniature letter of authority to carry a tazer wherever she deems necessary," the bailiff told him.

Darcy let him hand it over. "I handed that to the guards out front when they put up my formal one. That's a tiny one that has about two charges so I can get away."

"I remember hearing about that attack and your tazer," he admitted, handing the letter back. "The original?"

"In a safety deposit box. I have regular sized copies on my apartment wall and with the precinct up the street from me."

"Reasonable," he admitted. "That device?"

"Your Honor, I only know science because I was an unpaid lab intern for a few years. My thing was political science and humanities. I always intended to work with charities." She shrugged. "I've seen others building things but I have no idea how to deal with them or use them."

"Good." He looked at the officers. "Is it safe yet?"

"Yes," one of them said, looking at her. "Lewis," he said with a nod.

She nodded back. "SHIELD guy." He smirked. "I remember you guarded Jane a few times at conferences and were smart enough not to try to tell her anything."

"Where are they?"

"Asgard. His dad called him home to meet his daughter."

"Aww." They put the device into a box and nodded, letting the judge see it. "It's safe, Your Honor."

"Thank you. Miss Lewis, I hope I never have to see you again."

"Me too," she agreed. "I don't want to keep running into problems, Your Honor."

"Good. Go away."

She nodded, hopping out to get her tazer back. They tried to argue but they couldn't argue with a letter of authority. She went out to get into her car, ignoring the parking ticket since it wasn't for her car. She did pause to hand it to the meter maid. "I found this on my car, ma'am, but it's for a different license plate." She looked and sneered at her. "Is that for my car?"

"No," she admitted. "Someone placed it specially."

"Okay, thank you." She drove off.

The meter maid called in that note about the fake ticket and got back to work ticketing lawyer cars. They were always forgetting to put money in the meters.

***

Darcy hopped into her meeting with the idiot and her legal team. She sat down next to her lawyer, smiling at him and handing over the notice of the ticket. "Using fake NYPD things. That's a whole other charge and they're looking into it. Especially since that's the second one. The first one they got the wrong car." She smirked at the idiot who was sneering at her. "What? Your plots failing?"

"I can still destroy you," he sneered.

She snorted and waved a hand. "You can try but it's just wearing you out. I mean, even your orange skin is getting lighter looking." He glared. She smiled a sunny, happy smile. "It's up to you. I mean...you started it." She shrugged and looked at her lawyer, who was trying not to laugh. "Did you get the new thing that happened to my ankle?"

"I did," he agreed, staring at her. "Why?"

"They handed it over. That vet barely managed to get away but a few of Clint's friends found him and presented him to that particular director. He wasn't happy they broke into his house but he was *so* happy that the idiot was given to him as a present." She smiled. "HYDRA lost that battle a tiny bit and sending that program to AIM didn't make it any smarter. Though at least they have people there that have actual human reproduction knowledge instead of being a vet."

"Is he going to jail?"

"Yup. He's already been arraigned in federal court and found out HYDRA wasn't going to save him." She smiled. "I had Agent May email you that result."

He looked at his phone, nodding as he read. "I did get it this morning and it's nasty. They have him on charges that would cover at least six life sentences. Huh. Are they being mean with the charges or just coasting along?"

"No. They're federal people so they're doing it the easy way. They're not even stretching their wings," she said dryly. She smirked at the idiot. "Now, you wanted what today?"

"You have no proof of anything, little girl."

"I'm not a little girl. I'm a full grown woman."

"I can see that," he said with a grimace of distaste.

"It's not my fault you don't like women who don't look like crack hos. Except to grope for no reason and against her wishes." She shrugged but smiled. "I'm happy with myself. If you're not, then quit. I don't want to deal with your ass but you started it. Real women don't back down to threats. We tell them how much they'll like prison."

He glared. "I'll never see a day inside."

"Unlike my father sparing himself suffering I suppose you committing suicide would spare us some amusement. Pity how they'll talk about you in history class. Some day my grandchildren will stand up and go 'my grandma told me about him'."

"You're going to give in to them?" he smirked.

"No but that doesn't mean I won't have kids some day for my own pleasure. That's how most humans are born in case you didn't realize most of us don't buy our spouses."

"I don't," he sneered.

"Sure! She just married you so she didn't have to use the education someone paid a lot of money for. That's why you've had the single trophy kid. That way you can cause competition between your other trophy kids. I've seen others doing it better than you. The kids actually competed for their parents' attention. Then again, it's also clear that you didn't take the ethics classes that're probably mandatory at Wharton. Or art classes since you're so gaudy. After all, *new* money has to show it." She smiled.

"You're not that old of money," he said in a huff.

She laughed. Her attorney shivered. "My people have been rich since the Holy Roman Empire ended. We used to be merchants. Then we moved to banking when they started to become popular."

"You're not adding to it," he said smugly.

"Bullshit. I add at least ten percent to my yearly draw account every year. That's not counting my small income from doing the work I like to do. Some of us learned how to invest early on from our uncle."

"He's dead now."

"Yeah, he is. Which sucks for his son. I only live on a budgeted draw account because I want to keep better track of my spending on things. I could go on a spending spree like the brainless twats on tv, but I don't need to."

"You drive a used car."

"That has very good fuel economy and a great safety rating. Which is why I bought that when it was new. New doesn't mean better and money doesn't mean you have to spend it. I have what I need when I need it and that's all that worries me. The rest is in savings for when I do have to buy something."

"You live in a nothing apartment," he sneered.

"I love where I live with my dog." She shrugged. "I wouldn't want to move somewhere gaudy and Manhattan just to have to prove I have the money. Old money means you don't have to prove it any longer. Nothing in my apartment is covered in gold leaf."

"The people hate you and they love me."

She burst out laughing again. "Sure, the ones you pay. There's plenty that know you never pay. We've even told the ones you sent after me that and they were highly disappointed in you." She stared at him. "See, I don't have to hire people to hurt others for me." He pointed at her lawyer. "No, he's my leash holder so I don't go fully evil. I'd have a lot of fun as a villain. Thank you for reminding me that I used to dream of being the evil villainess." She smirked at him. "How is your stock price? Has it recovered?" He glared before getting up and stomping off. "Since you called this meeting I guess you're done being huffy and trying to pump yourself up. Have fun with that." She waved at his back.

He turned back. "I bet you're voting for that treasonous crook," he sneered.

"As opposed to your own list of thievery?" she asked dryly. "Though, no, I was going to vote for the other guy but he didn't get enough votes. So now I'm the head cheerleader of the 'anyone but you' group. Hell, I'd rather vote Doom in instead of you. Or even HYDRA's current boss." She stared at him. "At least they won't start a war for their own egos." He stomped off again. She looked at her lawyer. "Did his meeting request actually have a point?"

"To try to intimidate you into dropping it."

She laughed, shaking her head. "No. Sorry but no." She stood up once she had her crutches. "You can tell him if he keeps annoying me that way I'm going to up it." She hopped off. "Have fun with him, Brian. He needs to have some fun in his life."

"Sure, Darcy. Thanks." He watched her go, eyes wide. She was a bit scary. He hoped she didn't turn into a villain. Maybe he'd send a quiet email to someone at Stark International since she knew Stark himself.

***

Darcy was kicked back, watching her foot twitch from the stress of the cast, when someone knocked on her door. "Do I know you?" she called.

"It's me," Steve called.

"Then open it yourself so I don't have to get up."

He came in and closed the door behind himself. "Miss Lewis, can we talk?"

She smirked at him. "About my statement that I'd rather vote vonDoom in than that guy or about the promise that he was going to let me become the villainess I always dreamed of being as a teenager?"

"Both," he admitted. "I don't think vonDoom is allowed to become president since he's not a citizen." He was trying very hard not to upset her more and push her into going fully evil.

"Maybe someone like Doc Oc?" she asked.

"Please don't even suggest that. He might like it." She flapped a hand with a grin. He sighed, sitting down looking at her. "You're going too evil, Darcy."

"Well, I don't have much else to do and he keeps pushing his luck. He called a meeting today to try to intimidate me into dropping the lawsuits."

"He seems like the type to not respect a woman's words," he agreed.

"And he makes creepy statements about his daughters like he wants to screw them, Steve. Plus he tried to grope me."

"Point." He stared at her. "Can you be less evil?"

"Maybe. That might depend on how stupid he becomes."

"Darcy, please?"

"Steve, I didn't take up the offer to buy the pinpoint nuke to hit their convention. Give me some credit please?"

"Someone did?" he demanded. She nodded. "Did you tell anyone like Coulson?"

"No. I was sure it was a joke. Nukes would probably be more expensive than they wanted for it."

"Why don't we look at it?" he suggested. She gave him a dirty look. "That way we can make sure it's not some college kid who built one in his basement? Please?"

"Fine." She got into her email, letting him read it. "I didn't answer it back because it was either a joke or a trap by some dirty agent."

He looked at her. "We'll make sure of that for you, Darcy." He transferred it to his own email and hugged her. "Relax, let us do some PR work on him." He left, going back to the tower since Stark was there. "Stark, trace this," he ordered as he walked into the lab. Tony looked up from eating with Pepper to glare at him. "Someone offered Darcy a nuke."

Stark took the phone to look at then got into her email by hacking to find it. He traced it back, shaking his head. "Might be a joke or a dirty agent."

"That's what she thought so she didn't answer back," he said, looking at Pepper. "We got an email from someone at her lawyer's office warning us she was going evil, Pepper."

"Is she bored again?" she asked, stuffing her mouth.

"No, all the stress is making her go meaner," Steve said. "Today that guy called a meeting over the lawsuit to nag her into dropping it."

"Lawsuits," Pepper corrected. "There's four of them going on now. Including one by the charities he promised to give large-ish donations to if they fired Darcy. He apparently never pays anyone." She ate another bite.

"If her lawyer's smart he'll make sure that the guy can't discharge that debt through bankruptcy again," Stark said. "Huh, it's a local high school kid. I need to see if Peter knows him." He called him. "Peter? Tony Stark. One of your classmates offered a friend a nuke." He listened. "Yup, that's what I said," he said at the choking. "I need to know about him before I hand this over." Peter mentioned a name. "No, not him. Yes, that one." Peter excused himself to his aunt and walked off talking to him about that student.

"Okay, so probably has one ready," he decided. "Great. Thanks. No, I'm letting someone official handle it, kiddo. They don't have to know that I did more than check on your physics grade. Which should be excellent this time." He grinned at Pepper. "I'll tell her you said that, Peter. Thanks." He hung up, turning to look at Pepper. "His home ec grade was great this time, his history paper that you helped him with got an actual A and the teacher was annoyed about that, and his physics grade was a B but it that was testing stress since he fell asleep during it." He came back to the table. "I'm pretty sure an agent overheard since they like to bug our systems, Steve."

"He built one in the school?" Steve asked, looking worried.

"No, he built one in his basement for a school project," Stark said dryly. "I did something better than that."

Clint walked in, looking at him. "I got a call to come talk to you about why you were reading Darcy's emails," he said dryly. "Coulson wasn't sure what was going on."

"That wasn't a joke offer. The kid built one." He ate a bite of mac n'cheese with lobster.

Clint went to look at the email then forwarded it to Coulson's email. "There, he can handle it."

"Peter said that the guy built one for a school project." Pepper looked at him. "Darcy thought it was a joke?"

"Yeah," Steve said with a nod.

"Darcy would worry about collateral damage," Clint said. "Even going fully evil."

"She suggested she'd vote for vonDoom before him," Steve told him.

Clint nodded. "Me too but he's not a citizen so probably someone like Doc Oc?" He shrugged and walked off. "Better than Stark running."

"I'd never get lab time," he called after him. "Pepper would do great though."

"No thank you," she said with a smug look. "I don't need that sort of stress, Tony."

"Yes, Pepper." He gave Steve a pointed look, making him leave them alone. He smiled at her. "You'd be excellent."

"Yes I will be but not yet. Maybe in a few years. When I'm old enough to actually run." He nodded and they went back to eating while talking about the business.

***

Darcy hopped out to get the door the next morning. "Stop it," she yelled. "I'm slow on the crutches!" She looked at the dog, who was staring at the door oddly. "Do we know them, Conor?" He barked and got out of the way, staring at the one who had been pounding on it. She opened the door, staring at Coulson. She pushed him back when he tried to walk in. "It's six in the damn morning and I know it's not an apocalypse since I'm not wearing spandex," she said bluntly. "So you'd better have a really good reason for waking me up."

He stared at her. "You didn't tell the kid no."

"Did he blow up people?" she asked dryly. "Because I thought it was a joke." She stared at him. "Beyond that, he offered, I did not respond because I thought it was a joke or a trap by an agent." He stared at her. She stared back. "Go me, I do care about the average person out there. Yay me," she finished sarcastically. He scowled. She stared and shrugged a tiny bit. "Don't really care, Coulson. It's six in the damn morning. The only thing I care about now is the dog."

He sighed. "We really do have to talk about what the boy offered."

"Which I didn't respond to because I thought it was a dirty agent trying to trap me or a joke," she said more firmly. "Go talk to the kid!" She slammed the door in his face. "It's too damn early for this shit. I'm not a teenager and I can't wake up that way." She hopped back to bed. Conor whined. She groaned, looking at him. "Can you go pee on the fire escape?" she begged. "Please?" He barked and wagged his tail. She groaned but went to put on real clothes, enough of it to be decent, and grabbed his leash with her sneakers. She clipped his leash on him and sighed as they hopped carefully down the stairs. "Not under my feet. I'll smash you flat when I step on you, Conor." He moved.

"Thank you." They hopped out together, the dog happy enough that his tail was moving his whole backside as they headed for the park. She saw Coulson in his SUV and waved but kept hopping after her dog. "Slow down," she said impatiently. "Your human isn't that fast, Conor." She dropped the leash and groaned. He stopped and stared up at her. "Bring me the leash please." He barked and walked back to rest against her leg. She managed to get one end and pull up the other one.

"Okay, now let's go more slowly and easily." He barked and walked ahead again but not as far or as fast. He was good at sensing her moods and needs. "Thank you." They made it to the park and he peed on a few trees then tried to start their usual circuit. "Hey!" She stopped him, staring down at him. "I can't hop that far." He pouted. She sighed. "I hate that look." She followed him, wincing as she moved. "Hold it, let me sit," she ordered. The dog let her sit down and rest, letting her rub her leg.

Agent May walked up to her. "You disappointed him."

She glared at the agent. "It's six in the damn morning. I didn't respond to the kid because I thought it was a joke or a trap. So go yell at the kid."

May sighed. "In pain?"

"Fuck yes." She looked at her pouting dog. "Give me a minute more, Conor," she said patiently.

"You should go for runs with him."

"The crutches aren't for show, Melinda," she said dryly as she stood up. "It's because I've got a broken damn ankle. There's no running. There may have to be fighting but not running." She hopped off with the dog again. "Tell him I'm sorry he's disappointed but I did what I thought was right and he can blow me. I can find that strap-on easily enough."

"I'll make it more polite, Darcy." She went back to talk to him. "She didn't talk back to him?"

"Not that we've seen. That doesn't mean that it's wrong they're offering her such things."

"That moron frustrated her and she didn't point out in public she was going to be going evil soon. He just assumed."

"Fine." He started the SUV. "Is she safe?"

"How is she walking her dog with a broken ankle?"

"What broken ankle? I thought she sprained something."

"No, apparently not." May looked at him. "I have no idea why."

He looked it up and sighed. "They turned it over to AIM. Great." He let her see that report then drove them to the park so they could get out and calm Darcy down before she went fully evil. The dog was loose, it came barking at them. "Slow down," he ordered.

"Conor, sit," May ordered. "Let's go find your human." He ran off again, letting them follow her. Darcy had fallen and was trying to get up. She moved to help her. "Did you trip?"

"On the evil fluffy one there." She groaned as she sat down on the nearby bench. "It's too early for this." Conor barked, patting her knee. She stared at him. "You tripped me so you could sniff that poodle. You don't get the bitch, Conor. You're fixed." He barked and whined, patting her knee. She petted him with a sigh. "Today's going to be a bad day, Conor. Let's go back to bed. Okay?" He looked at Coulson. "No, he has his own home. He's not our roommate." She stood up, grabbing her crutches. "Okay, let's go home. Slowly," she ordered. "Out of the way too so I don't step on you." They hiked back together. "Thanks for the assist." She ran into an agent, blinking at him. "Coulson's back that way," she said with a point.

"Miss DeCriths, we think you're a terrorist," he said smugly.

"I think you are," she said. "Especially since I didn't answer that kid back because I thought it was a trap of a dirty agent. And here you are proving it." He glared. She stared back. "Kinda coincidental, don'tcha think? Are you hacking me for no reason?"

"You're not exactly an innocent young woman," he sneered.

She stared at him. "Gee, wow. I'm not naive. No, I haven't been naive since I was a kid. Go me, I actually think about things." She stared at him. "You can talk to me all you want but I didn't talk back to that kid."

"You wanted to bring vonDoom back to the US."

"Yeah, I'd vote for him before I voted for the scum sucking asshole I'm suing," she said bluntly. She shifted on her crutches. "Anything else? It's damn early for this."

"Are you nervous?" he sneered.

"I have a broken ankle and I'm not on anything." She stared at him. "I'm not nice at the best of times and you didn't show your ID so that means I can assume you're a fake agent as well." He tried to hit her so she tripped him with her crutch. "Well, that proved you're a dirty agent or a fake one." She looked back at May, who shrugged. "Is he a real agent?"

"No clue. He didn't show his ID." She held up hers. "Yours?"

"I don't have to." May kicked him back down and frisked him, looking for his ID case. "I'll have your badge."

"Go right ahead, that's my director right there," she said with a point. She came up. "No ID case or badge, Coulson."

"Then he's obviously a fake. Escort Lewis home so you can talk her out of her plans for world domination."

She snorted, shaking her head. "I don't want world domination. That's way too much paperwork and I'd never take Pepper's fun from her," she said dryly. "I'll settle for a sane world and if I have to become evil, so be it. I used to dream about being one as a teenage girl."

"We'll get you a painkiller," May ordered. She took the leash. "Come on, dog."

"Conor, home time," Darcy ordered. They walked back together, him pulling on the leash. "Conor," she snapped. "No pulling!" He slowed down. "Thank you! You can play with Lucky later." Conor barked and got free of May's loose hand to run over to Clint and Lucky to bark at him.

Clint looked down. "Sit." Conor sat with a yap, staring up at him. He petted him. "Morning, dog. Why are you out?" He looked over. "Darcy, I'd have picked him up."

"I'm fine. I got woken up by Coulson pounding on my door like it was an emergency."

"He had been knocking for a few minutes," May said patiently.

Darcy looked at her. "I don't get up this early unless it's an emergency," she said bluntly. "He's damn lucky I didn't set off the tazer on the door." May rolled her eyes. "Seriously."

"She did it to Kate the other morning at eight," Clint agreed. "Darcy has never been a morning person." He took the leash. "I've got him."

"We just walked and he tripped me," Darcy said, taking it back. "It's fine, Clint. He just ran over to get your pets."

"That's fine." He took the leash back and walked off with both dogs. "C'mon. We'll go jog. You guys can sniff butts and help me pick up people to flirt with like you do girly girl."

"Lucky's really good at picking up dames," Darcy quipped. "He picked up two or three for me to flirt with too." She hopped toward her stairs.

"Isn't there an elevator?" May asked.

"No."

"How are you getting out?"

"The usual way, Melinda," she said dryly, looking at her. "The same as every other resident does. I just have to go more slowly."

"Why did you pick here?"

"It's a good place, a good price, and I got to put in a kitchen. It's kind of a dream place for me right now." She shrugged, moving slowly up the stairs.

Melinda looked at her. "Do you come out often?"

"As often as I need to," she agreed. "I'm still making it to tutoring. I did the night I got the broken ankle and the concussion. They all worried about me too." She kept going up until she got to her apartment, finding the door open. "Great," she sighed, grabbing her tazer. Melinda moved her out of the way and moved in to check, finding Kate in there. Darcy hopped after her. "Just you, Katie?"

"Yeah. I saw Clint with the dogs."

"He stole Conor for a walk. It's sweet of him." She flopped down with a sigh, flopping onto her side. She snuggled in and fell back asleep. It was three hours before she should be getting up. She'd ignore her ankle hanging off the couch until it hurt her later. Kate came over to lift it up for her, getting a grunt back in thanks.

Kate looked then at Melinda. "You shouldn't wake her up before nine without a really good reason."

"I'm finding that out. How does she handle the stairs?"

"She's stubborn. Just like the older lady with the cane downstairs."

"I don't think I'm that stubborn," Melinda said. She went to open it when she heard Coulson, letting him in. She nodded at Darcy then at the kitchen, getting a nod back. They went to sip coffee. "She's right, she didn't write the little cretin back."

"It's possible he's searching for her approval," Kate said. "Like that guy that shot Regan? He did the same thing with that actress," she said when they looked at her.

"It's a good idea," Melinda agreed. "Are you thinking about becoming a SHIELD agent, Bishop?"

She shrugged. "Not at the moment. Right now I'm worrying about graduating and college."

"Which is a good thing," Coulson agreed. They all heard Darcy groan. "We can wait until you wake up again."

Darcy glared at him. Then put her head back down and fell back asleep. Kate came out to grab the glasses off her and handed her a soft throw blanket. That was nicer. Darcy curled up and got comfortable. At least until Cutey rushed in to hide against her stomach under the blanket. Kate rolled her eyes. "My dog's cute. She fits her name. And sometimes she glares like Natasha."

"She does?" Coulson asked.

"Hey, Cutey, he wants to see you glare," Kate called, sipping her coffee. "Or else no donut later." Cutey glared at them from under the blanket's edge.

Coulson stared. "She does glare like Natasha does. Interesting." Clint came in with the dogs, both exhausted. They went to curl up around Darcy. He handed Clint a cup of coffee. He knew how to motivate Clint after many years of working with him. "Has Natasha met any of the dogs?"

"She's met Lucky and Cutey during a team training event." He grinned. "She thinks Cutey's so weird for being part Russian Terrier." He sipped his coffee, looking at the sleeping puppy stepmom. Then at Coulson. "How early did you try to get her up?"

"Six-thirty."

"Ah. Yeah. She doesn't do early mornings. She glared at Jane more than once about getting hit by Science before coffee time." He sipped his coffee on his way to the living room. He flopped down in a chair. Lucky looked at him. "Just coffee, Lucky. You can steal breakfast later." He put his head down and went back to snoring into Darcy's hair. Conor was sitting on her side and sleeping. Cutey was still snuggled against Darcy's stomach under the covers.

Clint looked at Kate, who took pictures. He carefully moved the blanket and petted Cutey, who was glaring at him. Kate got that picture and one without his hand too. Then he let the blanket fall again. Conor glared at him too but went back to sleep. Clint grinned. The dogs were cute. And fun because Lucky got up to go fur Coulson's suit pants and hopped up to steal Kate's breakfast until she gave him half. "That's not pizza, Lucky," Clint called. Lucky came out to lick him then went back to snoring into Darcy's hair.

Coulson shook his head. "It figured his dog is much like him."

"Clint rescued Lucky from the Russian mob guys that run around here," Kate said with a grin. "And saved him when he got hit by a car."

"He's my buddy," Clint agreed. Lucky shifted to lay on his back, a line of drool falling out of his muzzle into Darcy's hair. He grinned, taking a picture of that on his phone to send to Stark. Who sent back a groan. "Oh, hey, Animal Guy is back, Kate."

"Fuck," she muttered into her coffee. "What did he bring this time?"

"Jaguars. In Times Square." He grinned at her.

She sighed, shaking her head as she pulled out her phone to text the other Young Avengers members. "Ha! America's that way. She snuck out of school." She got more coffee to sip.

Coulson looked at her then shook his head with a sigh. "How often has that person shown up?"

"Seven times in the last three years," she said dryly. "NYPD keeps letting him go and the FBI apparently doesn't want him." She grinned at him. "Have your agents carry a tranq dart and call the zoo. That's what we do when we find him."

He sent out that alert. Three agents reported they were already on site and had already done that, though they hadn't called the zoo, they had called an exotic specialities vet. He put his phone up after telling them it was a good plan. "They called a vet who does exotic animals."

"There is that lady uptown that walks her white tiger all the time," Clint said.

"And ferret lady, her friend," Kate agreed. "They sometimes walk them together. The ferrets who don't want to walk hop up onto the tiger's back to ride. She even managed to color coordinate since she only got brown ferrets. Her buddy wears a white tiger patterned fur coat when she walks her."

"Great, they match," Melinda said sarcastically. "How wonderful for her."

Coulson looked at her. "I'm sure there's many of those in Manhattan and LA."

Clint nodded. "And a few villains too. Though don't mention it in front of Steve. One of those sort hit on him badly and he got so frustrated that she wouldn't catch a clue." He got up to get more coffee, making Conor look up at him. "Just coffee time, Conor. Go back to your nap. We'll watch." He put his head back down and watched them but didn't move off his human. He grinned at Coulson. "Conor's part herding dog."

"I can see with how large he is," he agreed. "Sheppard?"

"Estrela mountain dog," Kate said with a grin. "Partially."

"Big dog," he agreed. "But probably protective." Clint and Kate both nodded. Then Conor got up to go bark at the fire escape window. Clint sighed but went to check and shoo off whatever it was.

"Not a pigeon," Darcy muttered. "That's a bad guy he doesn't know."

"I got it," Clint assured her, opening the window to look at the guy climbing down the fire escape. "You'd better have a huge reason for being on the fire escape at seven-twenty in the morning."

"I'm with the FBI, sir. I can be anywhere I want."

"I'm formerly SHIELD," he said bluntly. "No you can't. That's not in your rules. You can ask the current Director of SHIELD if you want. He's inside." The agent flinched back, looking alarmed. "Coulson, it's for you." He got out of the way. Coulson climbed out to talk to him and his fellow agents who weren't agents either. He called in the local FBI chief to talk to him about his supposed people and their problems with not carrying a badge. It turns out a few were actual agents but weren't carrying them supposedly so they weren't in as much danger. Coulson told him how that wasn't going to work. And why they were going to leave Darcy alone because it wasn't her fault. She hadn't given that kid any encouragement at all. And he wasn't so sure it wasn't a trap by some agents who liked the idiot political slimebag.

He'd debrief Darcy about that guy later, when she woke up. She'd be less cranky then. Though her dog would probably still try to protect her from him.

***

Darcy dialed her phone while watching the tv. "Melinda, you might want to be watching CNN if you're not on the way to the convention center." She hung up, eating some popcorn. The local PD was getting civilians out of the way. The Secret Service probably had the douchebags in charge out of the way before the civilians started to get moved in the other direction. So why was a villain attacking that convention?

"Well, he probably hates their hate speech too," she told her dog, feeding him a bite of popcorn. He relaxed against her leg, letting her pet him. Her alarm went off and she groaned but got up to get dressed so she could go tutor. Conor stared at her. "Going to the library and you know the library ladies said no puppy help." She kissed him on the head and petted him then left. He followed as she found out. She sighed, staring at him. "Fine, I'll sneak you in." She drove them there, getting out and smiling at the smoking librarian. "I'm being sneaky because I couldn't get him to stay inside."

She stared at the dog, who was sniffing around and peeing before going back to his human's side. "We've had three purse dogs in here today. He's not that tiny."

"No. He's a good boy. He's a herding guarding dog."

"I can see that." She pointed. "I'm the only one here today, Miss Lewis. Grab the key."

"None of them are here yet?"

"Not yet. They're probably watching the tv."

"Just think, I was ignoring the teenager that offered me a bomb," Darcy said dryly. "He wanted some attention."

The librarian looked at her. "Wow."

"Yeah." She nodded. "Let's go inside, Conor." She limped in with him, grabbing the key and signing the sheet so she could go upstairs. After an hour of no students she sent out a notice on her twitter account. A few of her other students answered and she cheered on one that finished that one part she hadn't gotten. She sighed and waited another half-hour but no one was showing up so she gave up for the night. She and the dog went to take an extra walk before going home. She put out a notice she'd be back to tutor again on Thursday, like usual, and that a testing session was in three weeks if anyone wanted a bit of last minute prep help. By then maybe she could ignore her ankle.

Of course, she had muggers tonight. Conor barked and drove them off. Another one tried to stab her and she zapped them. They screamed but went down. She stared at the guy. "Evening," she said, walking her dog off. They went home and found Kate in there with a few of her friends. She waved with a smile. "Hey, guys."

"No tutoring tonight?" Kate asked. "We're borrowing your microwave for a planning session for a future training time."

"That's fine. Pull some of the stuff out of the freezer, Katie." She hugged her one-armed. "No one showed up. Did you see the mess?" She went to change.

"What mess?" Kate called after her.

"Turn on CNN."

Kate did that and they all stared. "Wow, and they're blaming the Avengers for protecting the people from harm. Oh so charming," she sneered.

"I've already sent out a tweet thanking the team for taking on the bad guy and the decent agents and officers for evacuating the people," Darcy called from her bedroom.

Kate nodded, doing the same thing. She sent a private text to Clint's phone, who sent one back that they were tired but the guy was still surrounded by a forcefield. She showed the others. Who nodded and used Darcy's bathroom to gear up and then head down there with the agents coming to pick them up. A quin jet landed on Clint's roof so they hiked over there to get a ride. Kate had brought snacks and packed a lunch for everyone else too since she had been making food anyway.

Darcy settled in to watch the news with her dog. It was nasty but they could handle it. She hoped. Cleveland didn't deserve that stress on top of the stuff they already had.

***

Stark landed and looked at the kids coming out. "Did you guys take a field trip?" he asked dryly.

Kate handed over the cooler. "We brought dinner and help." She smirked at him. "Don't start with us, Stark. You're all tired from how long this one's lasted. We can sub." They looked at the mess. "Mer, go left. Billy, right. I'll hit the shield until it notices us instead. That'll give whoever's down there a chance to put on some sort of disruptor signal device, which I'm assuming they have." The team moved out with Clint and others helping them. Agents did have the disruptor finally so it'd go okay. They finally got the forcefield down and handled the big guy inside with the other team. His hostages got a bit banged up but they lived. One of them was threatening to sue them all for letting him get hurt until America punched him in the jaw.

"Shut up," she sneered. "At least *we* protect people." She walked over his sniveling body and went to help the others. "Natasha, we brought dinner with us."

"Thank you, America," she agreed calmly. "Though you're not supposed to hit the victims."

"He was more whiny than some kids are." She shrugged. "He needed it more than some kids I see in the mall." She shot at one of the bad guys showing up. "Kate, HYDRA!" She turned and fired a net arrow at them. Clint got them with a few other arrows, one explosive and one an electrified net. They could handle that too.

Steve stomped over. "Civilians should have been evacuated by now," he ordered with a point at the whiny guy. "He's in the way and about to get more injured probably. We'd hate that because we hate to have to answer court cases." He leapt on top of one of the bad guys and rode him to the ground then punched another one and threw his shield at one trying to get away. "I don't think so." America helped him and they were good together.

She smiled. "I need to do more thrown weapon training," she quipped to him.

"Could help but I can teach you how to throw the shield, America." He grinned at her. "You're pretty neat." They got the rest down and out, letting agents arrest them. He stood up and helped her up, grinning at her. "You brought dinner?"

"We were on Darcy's couch making plans for a training session this weekend and borrowing her microwave since none of us can cook."

"Cool." He walked back behind the others. "Bishop, why are you limping?"

"Leg cramp," she called back. "I need to take my vitamins again probably."

"All right. As long as it's not an injury I'll have to sic Bruce on."

"Nope. I know how to go to an ER for those, Captain." She shot a grin back at him and nearly stumbled into Natasha. "Sorry." She walked around her. "Think Darcy would mind pet sitting this weekend?" she asked Clint.

"She never does."

"She got back early tonight. Her twitter feed said that no one showed up," she said quietly.

"That sucks," he agreed. "We'll figure it out." He clapped her on the back. "What sort of dinner did you bring us?"

"I raided the freezer at her command." They got onto the quinn jet together and settled in to eat on the way back to New York. Behind them the press was going nuts, the other agencies were going nuts, and the SHIELD agents were putting up with the nuts to get things done. The Secret Service had stepped in to help them so it was at least getting done quickly. Kate and her team plus Stark were already on social media to make it look less of a problem. Kate looked at her teammate. "That whiny ass is complaining he's going to sue you for punching him for making the hostage situation worse." America rolled her eyes and stuffed her mouth so she couldn't say anything.

Clint laughed. "Yeah, he's the slimebag's son, Katie Kate."

"Oh! No wonder! He gets it naturally!" she said sarcastically. "I wonder if anyone told his d-bag of a father that someone was willing to kill the whole city to make sure he was dead."

"Probably not," Stark admitted. He looked at her then at Clint. "Darce?"

"Yeah. The one she had to zap and is now suing's son," Clint said dryly. "I recognized him from the pictures on the news."

"Great," Stark said dryly. "If I ever have kids, make sure they don't turn that way?"

"If you have kids, we'll make sure Pepper has help," Natasha told him.

Bruce nodded. "Definitely." He looked at the kids then stared at America. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good, Dr. Banner. Thank you for asking." She smiled. "My hands aren't even bruised."

"Good. You guys all know how to go to the ER, unlike my teammates?" he asked.

"Yup, we go to flirt with the cute docs," Kate agreed, smiling at him.

"Speaking for yourself," one of her male teammates said. "I don't flirt with the docs. They work way too many hours to be nice girlfriends."

Stark looked at him, then shook his head. "You need someone understanding."

"Yes I do."

"At least you didn't have to tell a parent," Kate quipped with a grin for him. "My dad drank for three damn days."

"He probably would've yelled for those three days if you hadn't had to shoot those thugs," Clint told her.

"Probably," she agreed with a nod. "Thankfully I could hover on Darcy's couch."

Natasha looked at her. "You hid from your father?"

"Yup, because I'm a smart daughter. It gave him time to think without having to stare at me like I'm weird." She stared at her. "Then he called in Clint to ask him how to make me stop." Clint nodded with a grin. "Which got me the name of a gym to train in."

"Grounded for two weeks too," America reminded her.

"Yeah but he didn't fuss too much when I had to break it a day early to help with a problem." She ate some of her sandwich.

Natasha shook her head slightly. "Did he like your dog?"

"No." She smiled. "He tried to give Cutey to Clint."

"I told him I didn't need a roomie," Clint quipped.

"He was napping with the dog the day before he got killed, Natasha. American teenage girls do things like adopt a dog without warning. It's a whole lot more minor than a kegger that gets out of hand. The customary talk after the first hangover is a doozy."

Steve smirked at her. "My mother would've strapped me for that if I was underage."

She grinned. "Now you can't do that." Clint nudged her. "My father was waiting beside my bed with a trash can and a sprite. We had a three hour talk about drinking and why I was drinking. He thought it was my stepmother's fault."

"Did you know her before they married?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah, I went to school with her. She's three years older than I am." Bruce shuddered. "Which is why I got drunk, yeah. It's really creepy when you had gym class with your stepmom."

"Yes it probably would be," Stark agreed. "At least Darcy's stepmom was older."

"Did you hear she's getting out twenty years early?" Kate asked him. Stark stared at her, shaking his head slowly. She nodded. "They decided that prison was overcrowded and she probably couldn't do it again. Even with the death threat she's been trying to act on. She's already disappeared from the halfway house they had her stashed in out in Cali."

"Got her with an arrow in the park the other morning during our run," Clint told her. "I guessed she was laying in wait for Darcy. The officer I called agreed and told her to quit whining, she had worse in prison."

"Did you tell her yet? She's been worried," Kate told him.

"I hadn't. I will the next time I see her." Kate grinned and nodded. "She good?"

"Bummed that no one showed up for tutoring tonight."

"That would be a bummer," he agreed. "We can cheer her up later." They got back to eating on the way home. The other avengers were staring at them oddly but oh well. Archers were great, of course they stared at greatness.

***

You must login (register) to review.