Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup


Kate went to the tutoring class that night, all smiles and carrying cookies. "Guys, Darcy's officially back but she's still fighting an infection so it'll be about a week before I turn her back over to you guys." They smiled and settled in to get to work while nibbling. "Darcy also said thank you," she said with a nod toward one. "For the number to the local vo-tech carpentry class. They'll be installing her kitchen the right way later this week. She's seriously pouty about her kitchen. Thankfully the stove and fridge work even if it's a wreck. She was making bread earlier but it was so tough you couldn't even use it as croutons. Then she made the cookies for tonight and she hugged me for keeping you guys going. She's kinda cuddly when she's sick." A few giggled. "Thankfully Clint didn't mind that she hogged his dog to cuddle all day."

"Think she'll get a society dog?" one of the boys asked. "I can't see her with a yappy purse thing."

"Nah. She's more likely to go adopt something huge that's going to die in a shelter." Kate smiled. "Clint suggested that earlier so he could get his dog back."

"What kind was it?" that kid teased.

Kate grinned. "It's a husky looking thing. She found it online. Clint was telling her how much problems that smart of a dog could be. His retriever mix is really too smart for anyone to deal with some days. This afternoon, Clint ordered lunch and Lucky decided to sneak most of the pizza for himself. He carried the box off to the bedroom without us realizing and went to eat on the bed like a teenager. I think the only one who noticed when he was sneaking off was Darcy. That's when she switched to cookies."

One of the girls smiled, hiding it in her workbook. "He was cute when you brought him, Kate."

"Lucky's really sweet. We go to jog in the mornings so we can stare at cute people in the park. He's even picked me out a few to flirt with." The kids all laughed but got back to work.

Clint strolled in with a box of pastries, putting them down. "Vegan fruit stuff, guys, so supposedly healthy while still having frosting." He handed Kate her phone. "You dropped it outside."

She hugged him. "Thanks, Clint. Guys, this is Clint Barton." A few of the kids were staring at him. Clint grinned back. Kate looked at her messages. "Oooh, I have a meeting tonight. Thankfully my stuff's in the car."

"You're *working*?" one of them asked.

Kate leaned closer, winking at him. "I'm an archer too," she said quietly. He shivered. "Yeah. It's cool though. Don't worry about it." She sat back up. "No dog?"

"I'm getting her a dog of her own," Clint said. "She'll enjoy it and the landlord agreed it'd be cute. So if she has to travel for something you'd get to watch two sometimes."

"That's fine, as long as they get along."

"I told her she could bring Lucky when she went to pick them out to make sure they could get along." He patted Kate on the head. "Go. I can do this. Scott's coming too because he picked up new workbooks for her earlier on his way over to nag her."

"It's sweet he does," Kate said.

"How does Darcy know avengers?" one of the girls asked, putting down her book. "I figured she'd know Stark, they've been photographed together and she said she grew up near where he lived and all."

"Nah, we met Darcy when she was a science intern for Jane, Thor's girlfriend." He grinned. "She had to do a lot of nagging to make sure Jane was eating and all that good stuff. Then she gradually started to bake and cook for the rest of us."

"Movie nights," Kate agreed. "For the whole team."

Clint nodded. "She's really good to talk to so we kinda used her to talk out problems. We didn't always appreciate her, including Jane, but she was a sweet lady then. Then she had to get stubborn thanks to HYDRA and all that stuff. We kinda miss her being the sweet lady that just walked up to you and hugged you because you looked pouty according to her."

"She is a bit hard," Kate agreed. "But it's healthier with the things she's been through."

The kids all looked at each other then her. "She's still mostly sweet."

"Yeah but before she left Jane, she'd just taze you," Clint said. "We made sure she could shoot in case something happened. Now, she'll fight back a lot harder because she knows that they're coming for her instead of her being a civilian in the way."

"She probably had some of that before," one of the girls said. "She said she had that death threat back in college. Plus she was a runaway for a bit."

Clint nodded. "I heard. Sometimes it's safer if you run. I did at one time and it saved me, plus taught me a lot."

Kate patted him on the arm. "You had some fun."

"I did. It was hard but I did have some fun." He sat down. "We do try to be just normal people most of the time. Darcy made sure we remembered we were more than avengers by reminding us of normal things like really good coffee and just sleeping in some mornings." They nodded. "I know Scott worked with her in Chicago a few times. Mostly we sent him to guard her when the threats got too bad because he was less known. He worked with her tutoring group out there too."

"That's nice of him," Kate agreed. "He's a nice guy though. His daughter's a pisser."

"I do like Cassie. She's a bit mouthy but smart. She's the greatest friend's kid we've seen. Even Stark likes her."

The tutoring kids all shook their heads. "Darcy's been emailing with Cassie over her ideas for the holidays and making her own presents this year," Kate said with a grin. "She squealed through one earlier when she heard Darcy was home."

"How does a lady like Darcy end up looking like a hipster?" one of them asked.

"Darcy was never hung up on that stuff," another kid said with a shrug. "Like she said, old money just is and they're comfy with it. New money spends to show it off."

"Yup," Kate agreed. "We do." They smirked at her. She grinned back. "Darcy's a good role model with Clint for me." Clint messed up her hair. "Hey!" She hit him on the arm before straightening it out.

Clint grinned at the kids. "It's cool, guys."

"Is that slimy guy gonna make her bankrupt like he has others who're suing him?"

"No," Kate said, shaking her head. "She's worth more and she might do it to him." They all grinned and got back to the workbooks with more cookies. Scott came in and put down workbooks, getting a few shy smiles back. "Thank you, Scott."

"Welcome. Darcy said she can come back in about two weeks, guys. She's got to let the infection die off first and she's got a thing next weekend for a friend's wedding." They all nodded, passing out the new workbooks. "And if you need me to help her, let me know," he told Kate. "I worked with her kids in Chicago a lot."

"Thanks," one of the girls said quietly.

Scott smiled. "Guys, I'm not the saint that Darcy pretends to be. She's sweet and all but not angelic, but I'm not that way at all. We all know I have a history." He smiled at the kid in the room, who grinned and waved back. "You're cute. Are we reading stuff to you?"

"Sometimes," the dad said. "I'm babysitting."

"If it's your kid, it's called being a dad," Scott told him, patting him on the shoulder. "We all do it for our kids. Darcy's former class used to have a lot of kids that came in to work with their parents so they understood that learning's a good idea. She'd never mind if you're doing dad duty during it. She'll even sit there and read to the kids if you guys are working on something."

"That's good to know. She's kinda goofy about the sprout."

"Darcy loves kids," Clint said with a slight shrug. "She's womanly that way. She might have a few some year if she can get HYDRA off her ass."

"Why would she let them do the surgery?" that boy asked, putting down his pen.

"If you're being mugged do you fight back if they've got a gun on you?" Kate asked. He shook his head slowly. "They had them hostage. They were going to do the surgery one way or another. They could've tortured her then done it. If the doctor had protested they would've made him do it after probably taking someone he liked hostage to make sure he did it right." That guy slumped, grimacing. "Her words to him were 'don't do anything heroic'; it saved him. It saved her some torture. It saved them capping the doctor."

Clint nodded. So did Scott. "That's what they tell you to do when there's a hostage situation. You go along quietly so they don't pay attention to you and you don't get overly hurt. You escape when you have your chance. You try to protect your fellow hostages if you can or the vulnerable if you can't," Scott said. "She was protecting them both and the doctor was able to not freak out so he didn't get capped."

"NYPD stopped HYDRA from taking his wife a few days after they got him," Clint said. "They're not against torturing her with him being forced to watch. The only thing they couldn't do was torture him in a way that would've meant he couldn't perform the surgery. Darcy could've kicked up a fit but that would've gotten her tortured and that would've made it harder to escape when the opportunity came."

"Darcy said she shot back a lot because the doctor was an idiot," Kate quipped with a grin for them. "He didn't understand that a woman's cycle meant she wasn't fertile then. That they couldn't have gotten her pregnant without the surgery, because they threatened to try. They tried to drug Barnes into taking her right after the surgery. She said it was the same stuff she got hit with in Chicago."

"We can make sure he's got the antidote," Scott said. "That's some nasty stuff."

Clint nodded quickly. "Very." He looked at the kids again. "Sometimes you gotta play the game a tiny bit to make it easier on yourself. In this case, she stayed calm and plotted. She used the surgery to avoid their plans, and the cycle thing to give them more time to try to get away. She had to give them facts and she said the doctor got *really* mad about it. He sneered that she had reasons to stall."

"So if they had gotten their way, she would've come back pregnant," one of them said.

Kate nodded. "It would've made it harder to get away but yeah. That was the end plan."

"It could've been anyone."

"Actually, they've figured out something about genetic compatibility," Scott said. "It'd make their kids stronger and possibly pass on the serum somehow." He shrugged. "I don't know why but she fit a narrow definition but she did. They've been trying now for just about two years."

"Two years?" one of the girls demanded. Scott and Clint both nodded. "Why?"

"Because they wanted something specific," Clint said. "She fit a tiny little list of things and there's not many who would. They took others to see if it'd work and it didn't. They had a rash of kidnaping actresses at first while trying to get her."

"Let me guess, they were going to make it seem like the forties for him?" one of the boys guessed. Everyone nodded. "Not many women have that sort of class these days." He leaned back in his chair. "I might not have let them fix that problem at all."

"It could've killed her," Kate said.

"Oh. That sucks. Darcy's a nice lady." Scott grinned and nodded. "Does she bake for you guys?"

"Used to make us cookies and fudge after things," Clint quipped. "If I got to keep them before someone stole it, it was a great day." They snorted but ate some of the pastries so they could get back to work. Scott settled in to help a few of them with a few problems. Clint got to read to the kid and Kate was texting with her buddies before getting back into tutoring in english.

***

Darcy walked into her lawyer's office, smiling at the receptionist, who stared at her oddly. "He told me to show up today for an update."

"He's in with a client but I'll let him know you're here, Miss Lewis." Darcy nodded, going to sit down. The receptionist sent back an IM to her boss. He had forgotten she was coming apparently. He had a client back there and another one working on a bit of paperwork in the conference area.

When Darcy finally got back there, she looked amused. "Thanks for working me in."

"It's all right and you're one of the bigger clients I have right now." He pulled out two folders. "We have the two suits. One's been settled by that company. They paid back all the money you paid them." He slid over the information and check.

Darcy looked it over, nodding as she tucked the check into her bag. "That's good. I got the vo-tech kids to fix it. They even moved the misplaced stuff really fast. It took them a little over a day and one noted that a window was a bit crooked so they've fixed that too and I paid them for it." She smiled at him. "How's the other one?"

"He sneered you probably wanted it."

"I can only imagine what would've happened if I was gone long enough to get knocked up." She grimaced. "Is he sorry yet?"

"Not exactly but he's sweating some. We have enough on him to put him in prison." She smiled and patted his wrist. "Are you going to have other problems?"

"They tried to cancel my accounts and things but they couldn't without my consent. I've spent the morning talking about that problem and making sure it was all right and going to my usual GP to check on the infection. He called that other doc and he apologized but I apologized back for being a patient of his that got him kidnaped. So I'll be okay in a few weeks."

"Are we putting up more protections against your kidnaping?"

"I've got a lot in place and I'm putting up a security system and a safe room today while I'm out and about." He smiled. "The people who're doing it were recommended by a commando team and they've done my other safe rooms."

"That's good. Should we be worried about you getting a bodyguard?"

"Honestly, they'd be really bored most of the time and I hire one whenever I need to."

"That's a smart thing. You're probably safe most of the time."

"I usually am. I've barely had to use my panic button to my security system. My life's become hugely boring thanks to this problem and trust me if I could end it, I'd have blown them up by now."

"I understand that, Darcy. Are you okay?"

"Still a bit fevered from the infection but it's clearing up." She signed a few things and handed them back. She paused, reading one then ripping it up. "I saw that." He winced. "Your senior partner?"

"Likes the slimebag."

"Ah. Pity about his taste but I know you have better taste than that."

"I try," he agreed. "Anything else for today?"

"Two things." She smirked evilly as she dug out a file. "The doctor behind the kidnaping and breeding plot. I'm going to make him miserable. Would you like you to help?" She grinned. "On both mine and Bucky's behalf?"

"I'd love to get him in trouble," he agreed, looking that information over. "Ooooh, I think that'll be a nice thing to start with his licences. He's a vet."

She grinned. "Which is why he didn't understand how female humans worked for breeding purposes." She pointed. "The second's on the last page." He read it and moaned, looking at her. "He does more than like the slimebag," she said quietly. "And I've already told someone else but they're a bit busy so you have maybe a day and it'll mean you can move up."

"I could definitely like that, Darcy. Thank you."

She air kissed his cheek. "You have fun with the happy evil moment. I'm going to go grocery shopping. I'm out of things to nibble." She winked and got up, strolling out.

The lawyer went into the boardroom. "We need to talk right now," he said. "Because my client's being vindictive against HYDRA taking her." He snorted but looked amused. "Yeah, she found out you're HYDRA." He blinked, staring at his junior lawyer. Who just stared back. "And she knows SHIELD agents. So you've got maybe a day."

"Stupid meddling idiots," he muttered, getting up. "It won't change anything."

"It will," he said. "She's very vindictive and she knows Avengers as well."

The higher up snorted and waved a hand. "They won't stop me."

The agent in the doorway smiled. "Yes I will be. I've got agents showing up to gather all your files." She looked at the junior guy. "We knew she was going to tell you. You passed the background check. Pity both of the senior partners are infected though. I'm not sure what'll happen with that level of infection."

"I need to tell the other lawyers," he said. "We can stay out of the way."

"Yes you can," Melinda May said with a smile. "Thank you for that." He nodded hurrying to get the others together. The agents were already coming in to get into their files. The two HYDRA people were arrested. That lawyer came back to hand her that file. She read it over, humming. "That's very nice to know. What did Darcy want you to do with that?"

"Make him miserable."

"Please do," she agreed with a smile. "We can arrest him when he comes out to defend himself." He smiled, going to work on that with the other lawyers. Darcy's case was clearly not going to be tainted by that. Their reputations would have to be rebuilt but they were all known to be excellent, ethical lawyers.

Melinda May looked at what the agents were gathering for her, nodding at some of that. "That's very interesting. That's how they got her new address. From the lawsuit's files." They got back to work while she called that in.

***

Coulson was there when Darcy came back, nodding at her. "I have the antidote for Barnes," he told her when she opened the door to find him.

"You had better not have bypassed my security system the same way May did. Clint found out she disabled it."

"I did not. I told them I was an agent coming in to talk to you about your kidnaping. I watched them put in the last of it." He sat down on the couch. "The kitchen looks nice."

She smiled. "It does. It's my poor baby I need to clean." She came in and dropped her bag on the dining table then went to open the fire escape window. "James?" she called quietly. He looked down from the roof. "Coulson wants to see you. He has something for you." He nodded, coming down. She got out of the way, going to change and closing the door to give them privacy. The saferoom setup was on her bedroom so she looked at it, nodding at what she saw. There was a slide out metal door that would block the regular door from opening plus make it bulletproof. The walls had something laid over them that was probably bulletproof but at least it was white so it didn't make the room dark. She went into the bathroom to wash her face then came out to change her shirt and get comfortable.

Coulson looked at him. "I'm Phil Coulson. I'm the former agent over the Avengers and now the head of SHIELD. Do you know anything about that drug they gave you after her surgery?"

"Just that it keeps popping up to make me horny," he admitted, sitting across from him. Phil handed him an envelope, letting him read it. "I only tasted it on my fingertip."

"I can give you the antidote shot. It'll work if you've broken the need at least twice."

"By myself."

"That works. It did when they tried to dose Darcy in Chicago." Bucky stared at him. "She got a larger dose of half the formula, just the part that reacted to your body chemistry. The other half that makes it stick around was in a package that they managed to avoid."

"That's good to know. Will it work with the serum?"

"Yes. We made sure. I have a science team on my personal team and they did all the work on the antidote when we found out HYDRA had that." Bucky nodded, moving his shirt so he could get to his arm. Coulson handed over the syringe. "It's into the muscle. I figured you didn't want someone else to inject you with anything ever again."

"Not really," he agreed, giving himself the shot. He sighed. "How long before it works?"

"A few hours at most. Go wear it out and it'll help. Even by yourself." Bucky nodded once. "I can watch over her for a bit until someone else gets here. I like Darcy. I always found her quirky but sweet."

"Darcy, I need to go for a bit," he called.

She opened the door, staring at him. "That's fine, James. You go do what you need to do and do James things. I'm fine. I'm here and it's safe. My safe room's in." He nodded at that. "I need to get groceries but I was too tired so I'll get them tomorrow. I was about to order dinner from the mob place up the street. We know they're not HYDRA." James snorted but smiled a bit, escaping again. "Thanks, Coulson."

"Welcome. Thank you for finding that out about your lawyer's coworkers."

"I'm sorry if it hurts his career."

"It shouldn't. He put out a statement that most of the lawyers in the firm weren't aligned with the senior partners and their bad habits." He shifted to look at her. "Are you better?"

"The infection's clearing up. My GP put me on a stronger antibiotic. I talked to the surgeon. He's not mad at me. He said I shouldn't need another follow up and referred me to another GYN who can put me on something that's not an IUD."

He nodded. "That's safer just in case. With your luck they could put someone in a club."

"I haven't been able to club in a while, Coulson. I'm so bored sometimes but it's safer."

"We do pay for safety," he agreed. "Maybe we can get them down sooner for you."

"I'll gladly turn in any I find."

"Thank you. Those two led to a whole unit of HYDRA soldiers and the rest of their law team plus a few higher ups. It was a good bust and Melinda is smirking in evilness." She grinned. "It's good they found you. We'd have missed you."

"I had a nightmare last night that we didn't get free until I was six months along and I had to fight against the stupid slimeball who said me keeping the kid meant I wanted it."

"Some people will always think that way. We both know that," he said. She nodded. "How is that suit going?"

"Good. My lawyer's a good guy and he's having fun helping me be evil." She shifted with a wince.

"No painkillers?"

"No. I don't need any. If it's too painful the infection's picking up."

He nodded. "Point. Is there anything that'll make you safer?"

"Find the rest of them and end them?" she asked.

He smiled. "I'm trying, Darcy. You know that." She nodded. "I promised I'd stay until someone else showed up."

"I don't have a babysitter."

"Clint's going out of town so you're probably getting Lucky again."

"Clint scowled I was cuddling Lucky too hard."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Coulson promised. "Clint gets scowly a lot recently." She gave him a pointed look. "It's the battles," he agreed.

"I used to be sweet and fluffier until they started around me too," she agreed.

"And much more quirky but less quiet," he said.

"I can't really get loud when there's people hunting for me. That's stupid."

"It can be but you're safe enough usually. You could go out to some higher class clubs."

"It's probably safer if I went to a rave," she said. "More people but the crowd can get a bit protective if they see someone be dragged off."

"Point. If you want, that'd probably be fine." Someone knocked on the door and he stood up.

She got up and shoved him back onto the couch. She checked then opened the door, hugging the young, blond man there. "Hi, Jensen."

"Darcy." He looked over her shoulder with a nod. "Coworker?"

"Director of SHIELD," she said. She let him and Pooch in, smiling and waving at the baby Pooch. "Hi, snookums." The baby grinned at her and waved back. "You're so smart, sweetie." She took him to cuddle, going back to the couch. "Phil Coulson, Jensen and Pooch."

Coulson blinked at Jensen. "I knew someone said that Steve Rogers had a nearly identical twin."

He grinned. "I get asked that a lot and the army really did try very hard to figure that out." He flopped down beside Darcy, hugging her. "Are you okay?"

"Nearly off the antibiotics, and look, my kitchen's actually in," she said with a grin and a point.

He laughed. "That's good. How are you really?"

She stared at him. "I'm kinda really pissed and upset and I'm ready to buy some nukes and hit HYDRA with them. But I shouldn't do that, it'd lead to collateral damage and I'm not the great evil Darcy today." She cuddled the baby. "It sucks ass, Jensen. It really does. And they endangered my kids by showing up at a tutoring session as an agent!"

"He was an agent," Phil said. "Just not of the agency he was pretending to be. We've since gotten him and his partner arrested. And no, no nuclear devices, Darcy. At all."

"Fine."

"Thank you. Make them miserable."

She looked at him. "It'd be hard of me to give them food poisoning to make them slower."

He smiled. "Not a horrible idea. We should try that before the next raid." He grinned at Pooch. "I don't bite and I've fed your team some information recently about that Max thing. We'd really like him to go away as well."

"Wow, now I have three assholes I want to take out," Darcy complained. "Stupid politician guy, Max, and HYDRA. Whatever shall I do, guys? Should I turn evil?" The baby cackled so she grinned at him. "Yes, I can be evil. All women can be evil when we're pushed to it, little guy, but you never have to worry about that because your daddy's a good guy and he'll teach you how to be one too."

"If not, his momma sure will," Jensen agreed. He took the baby to cuddle but he wanted Darcy so he handed him back. "Okay, cuddle the evil one there. She could use baby cuddles."

"Jensen, there's homemade danish in the fridge," Darcy said with a smile. He went to get him and Pooch some snacks. "So, am I honored to be dropped in on or are you here to stop me from becoming more evil?"

"Just checking up on you," Pooch said. "Son, want me?" he asked, patting his lap. His son scowled at him. "You look just like your momma when you do that." The baby grinned and played with Darcy's hair for her. "You're good," he told Darcy.

"I'm trying so hard to stay that way," she said with a grin for him. "I'm hoping it's all ended soon but I know it's going to take a while."

Someone kicked in the door and Jensen shot him from the kitchen before Darcy could move. "Huh," Jensen said, eating a bite of danish. "That's cute of someone. Pooch, there's cherry danish." He came in to get some while Coulson called that in. NYPD showed up and was not happy but then agents got there and they got less happy.

Darcy waved. "All we know is he kicked in the door with a gun pointed at me," she said with a slight shrug and a cuddle of the baby. "I really need to set up some sort of system that will electrocute people who shouldn't open the door. Jake?" she asked, looking at him. "Is there one or should I beg Stark to create one?"

"Not that hard. I know about one. It's got a keypad like a normal security system. You punch in the number then open the door."

"Can they make the number pad the lock keypad?" she asked. "Maybe with a fingerprint thingy?"

"I don't know. You'd have to ask the security team we referred you to."

"They just got done with my saferoom setup," she said with a smile. "It's excellent." She sniffed, looking at the baby. "That's not a good scent." Pooch came to get his son so he could change him in the bathroom. "Use mine, Pooch," she said with a point. "It's got the bigger countertop."

"Thanks, Darcy."

James came in through the window and stared at the person on the floor. "He wasn't HYDRA," he said quietly, looking at Coulson.

"No, he's a contract guy," Jensen agreed, eating another bite.

"Stevie?" James demanded.

"Jake." He grinned. "I'm told we're nearly identical." James nodded quickly. Jake came out, holding out a hand. "Jake Jensen, Tech Ops Delta."

He shook it. "How do you know Darcy?"

"She hired us to protect her after HYDRA found her in Chicago. We set her up with the people who did the saferoom stuff for her."

"He's really nice and lets me think out loud to him," Darcy said with a smile. "If he ever has to hide in a mundane life, I'm letting him live in the closet for a few weeks at least."

Jake smiled at her. "Gee, thanks."

"I'd let you have the bed if you asked. I can't assume that you want the bed."

"Point. Yeah, I'd probably want the bed. You look cuddly."

"I usually am. Clint complained I cuddled his dog too much."

Jake shrugged. "He's got pouty pet syndrome and thinks Lucky might like you more."

"Nah, Clint saved him from Russian mob guys." She shifted to curl up some and pointed. "Is that the ME? They don't have a gurney or anything." Coulson looked and had to shoot this one. One of the officers got injured and Darcy had hers out by then too. The guy died. She sighed. "I hate them. I really hate them."

Jake carefully took the gun, smiling down at her. "Let me. I'm really good at it when I have to be," he said quietly. She hugged him. "Thanks. Go hang out in your bedroom with Pooch and the baby." She went that way and they all heard the saferoom door slam shut. Jake looked at the officers, smiling and waving his gun hand. "Delta trained."

"Do you have any idea why they showed up?" one of the officers demanded.

"One of the prices on her life went up," Jake said. "We noticed it last night. Slimy politician wannabe upped it by another two mil." He went back to the danish, handing James some. "You should try it. Darcy's an *excellent* baker."

James ate and nodded. "She is good," he admitted, looking at it then eating it. He and Jake sat facing the door. "Coulson?"

"I'm fine. Just livid." He looked perfectly calm and reasonable. He was going to fuck someone up. He called in a favor. "It's Coulson," he said in greeting. "Someone upped a price on a friend's head. Lewis, yes. You heard? We've now taken out two assassins."

"Not like he'll pay them anyway. He stiffs everyone else," Jake said dryly. He smiled and waved at the ME's team. "Hey, guys. Sorry there's two but the other one tried to shoot these nice officers."

"Better we have two than theirs," one of them said, looking at the officers. "Can we remove them?"

"Please, CSU is on the way." They nodded. It wasn't too long before the crime scene team got there with the federal ones. They weren't even arguing over whose job it was. Coulson had a word with one of the federal team, getting a grimace but a nod back. They could handle this. Coulson sat back down so they could watch them work. The officers got statements and then they could go. The bodies were removed quickly enough. The crime scene team agreed the blood could be cleaned up since they had all they needed. They left and Darcy came out of the bedroom/saferoom with the baby cuddling her and Pooch behind her. They settled in to make plans in case that happened again.

Jake agreed with Clint, Darcy could use a protective dog sort of creature and friend in her life.

***

Jake looked at Darcy once they were alone. Pooch had went to cuddle his wife with his son before they had to check in with Clay. Coulson had went back to his office to do evil Coulson things. James was back on the roof. "I looked at a breed selector site. It spit out seven breeds. One of those popular designer crossbreeds and six other normal ones. Aussie sheppard of course because they show up on all searches. The designer cross is called a goldmation."

She considered it. "Dalmation and goldie?" He nodded. "Clint's dog Lucky is kinda goldie like. What're the others?"

"Pembroke Welsh Corgi?"

She considered it. "I can imagine a HYDRA goon laughing that a corgi was attacking them but they're cute. I can see that."

"Chesapeake Bay retriever," he offered.

"Water dog.... No, not really into water most of the time outside my tub. I'd hate to have to fight the dog for my bath."

"Black Russian terrier," he said with a grin. "Very strong dogs. Kinda stubborn."

"I'll keep that in mind. I've known a few and they were cute. Protective and cute. Not too little." She nodded, sipping some coffee. "Some grooming but not too bad."

"Two big mountain dogs. A Golden Pyrenees and an Estrela Mountain Dog."

"Hmm. Fluffy dogs. Too big?"

"Not really but hefty." She nodded at that. "Some brushing needed."

"That's an interesting list. I only know something about a few of them." She came over to sit next to him to look at the list. "Oh, good, a compare." She made her list and looked. "Let's remove the aussie and the corgi. I love corgis, they're cute and make great pet vids, but that'd be a society dog for me and I can't carry a corgi everywhere. Aussies take a lot of playing and I don't have the energy to let it run for hours on end." He grinned but nodded, taking those off. "Oh, that Pyrenees is a designer cross too." They stared at the description then shook their heads together and took that off the list. "I'm going to look at the Russian Terrier last based on comments about them being territorial and a former breeder saying they're hard to groom and trim. The goldmation seems like nice happy dog."

He looked up the local adoption societies and smiled, pointing at one. "They have a part Estela and part something for adoption." She looked and cooed. It was fawn colored with a bit of shading in the long coat. A dark mask on his face. It was adorable. "Probably a lot of brushing."

"I have nothing to do but tutor the kids." She looked up. "Wanna go adopt a dog?"

"Sure." He put his laptop into his bag and they went together. She popped over to Kate's to grab Lucky, and they ended up bringing Kate too. Jake smiled and waved at her. "Hi. Jake Jensen."

"Kate Bishop. Pet sitter sometimes." She looked at Lucky. "You're a mooch." He lapped her for that compliment. "So, where are we going?"

"We've found a dog for her to adopt," Jake said. "It'll be pretty big but it seems sweet."

"Sure. We need to make sure that they get along with Lucky." Darcy parked and they got out, heading to the shelter with Lucky on a leash, which he didn't totally mind but hated somewhat. He was good at staying with his humans. Though he smelled other dogs so it was probably to make sure they couldn't hurt him.

Darcy smiled at the woman behind the counter. "I saw your had a pretty little fawny colored half Estrela. The breed selectors said I'd probably get along well with them."

"He's going to be a huge dog, miss."

"That's okay."

"Do you have a yard?"

"A park up the street. This is Kate and a mutual friend's dog so we need to make sure that they get along."

"We can get you something smaller and easier to work with."

Darcy shook her head. "I need something to take care of. So brushing is great and all that."

"Okay. We can introduce you, see if they like you." She looked at Jake.

"I'm just the friend making sure she only brings home one."

She smiled. "That's a good idea. What other breeds popped up on the breed quiz?" she asked as she led them into the back area.

"The Black Russian Terrier." Kate burst out snickering, shaking her head. "Yeah, that was my thought too," she told her with a grin. "But they looked really stubborn and hard to train to cuddle at night from the former owners' comments on the site. There was a goldmation noted. A golden pyrenees, a pembroke welsh corgi, and an aussie sheppard."

"They seem to pop up on every breed selection quiz," Jake agreed. "With some sort of golden retriever."

"They can," the woman agreed. "You wanted alert, yet friendly, and maybe a bit of a guard dog?"

"Yeah. But they have to get along well with people because I tutor some GED needing kids."

"Okay," the shelter worker agreed. "Then it sounds like that little one's a good pick. You'll want some obedience training."

"I'm good with that. I used to scientist wrangle. It was like herding cats." The shelter worker laughed but nodded, letting that dog out of his cage. Darcy cooed, going to her knees to let the little one sniff her. "Boy?" she asked, looking up. She got lapped for it. "Aww, that's sweet, sweetheart." She cooed and cuddled him, making him a happy boy.

"Fixed, male. Just under a year so a good age for training. He's a sweetheart but he's going to be huge."

"I have a three bedroom apartment," Darcy said with a smile for her.

"That's a good bit of roaming room." She looked back at a frantic barking. "What?" she called. "Don't upset the friend's dog. It's being a good dog."

Kate went to look, smiling and petting it through the bars. "Hey, sweetie. It's okay. I promise it's okay." The dog barked at her, staring at her. "Can I see this one? My dad will shit cows but he's so cute!"

"That's a terrier mix, and is a Russian terrier mix," she said, letting Kate have that dog. Lucky came to sniff and sneezed on it. The shelter worker looked down. "What happened to your eye, little one?"

"His daddy saw him get hit by a car so he carried him to a vet and adopted him then," Kate said with a grin. "He's just out of town at the moment so I'm a part-time babysitter."

"That's sweet of you."

"I'm home," she said with a smile. "I'm the chosen puppy sitter." She brought hers back and they settled in with Lucky sniffing and licking the tinier dogs. "That one good for me, Lucky?" she asked. Lucky seemed to nod and sniffed her again, then licked her, earning a few barks from the puppy.

Darcy looked over. "You are so like her," she said with a head shake.

"Yeah, she is like the redheaded one," Kate agreed, smiling at Jake. "One of Lucky's human's friends is Russian."

"Dogs do tend to take their owner's personality," the shelter worker said.

"Wow, some day you're gonna bake then," Kate quipped to Darcy's new dog, getting lapped. Then her dog lapped her. "Thank you both. That's sweet of you." She smiled. "Do we have to do a huge application? I know some places require references and home visits."

"We're not that picky, miss. You're going to be a great pet owner or you wouldn't be the chosen pet sitter." She got them out front with the dogs on leashes Darcy bought. She paid for their fees and Jake drove them to a pet place to pick up food and toys. And some for Lucky because he was a good dog.

***

Clint came home and found a note from Kate saying that Darcy had Lucky to help civilize her new dog. He sighed but went over there. It was only in the next building. He saw the keypad being installed. "What's that for?"

"To electrocute anyone who shouldn't be opening the door," Jake said with a grin for him. "We found her a very protective dog, but he'll be pretty big and need a lot of fussing over."

"That's good." He knocked and heard dual barks. "Did you guys take Lucky with you?"

"Yeah. Kate got a part Russian Terrier. Darcy got a part Estrela Mountain dog."

Darcy opened the door with her dog in her arms. "See, he's cute."

"He's very cute," he agreed, letting the dog sniff his hand so he could pet him. "You're fuzzy too." He walked in and Lucky hopped into his lap to get his rightful cuddles. "Were you good for Kate, Lucky?"

"He was a very good boy but Kate had to go do archer things," Darcy said. "And avoid telling her dad she got a dog." She pointed. "I'm puppy sitting tonight until she gets back."

Clint looked at the quiet dog napping on the windowsill. "Okay."

"The dog gave her the same look Natasha gives you when you burst out laughing for no reason," Darcy said with a grin.

"Awww." She grinned back, petting her new dog. Jake came in to install the inside button. "Jake, how strong will that be?"

"About tazer strength," he said, smiling back at them. Darcy's dog ran over to pounce him, letting Jake play with him for now. Then the puppy ran to play with his new friends again. Lucky got down to play tug of war with the puppies.

Clint looked at her. "How big?"

"About twenty-eight or so inches high?" she said. "Purebred. No one was sure what his other half was. Or what I'm going to name him."

"He's not blond enough to be named after Thor," Clint quipped. "Or me." She grinned at him. The puppies ran back to come hop up on him to sniff him and then lap him until he had to try to get away and petted them to stop it.

Darcy snapped and the dogs stared at her. She handed over treats. "Good dogs to listen to the Darcy mommy. Very good dogs." She petted them both. They went running to Lucky, who came to get his own treat. She winked and gave him one too. "We know you're a good boy, Lucky. You're a special little guy." Lucky lapped her hand then ran back to play with the dogs. Clint rolled a ball with his toes, finding out it jingled. The puppies all stared and ran after it to bark and chase it. Darcy grinned at him for that. "The dog's going to drive you nuts. Lucky does it to me sometimes."

"I love the guy, Clint."

"That's good."

"Kate asked if he was going to bake some day if he started to take after me."

Clint nodded. "I can see you teaching your dog how to bake, yeah." Lucky ran back to leap into his lap, settling in to nap. "Did you get worn out, Lucky?" He petted him, looking around. The puppies were under the table on the footrest cuddled together. "At least they're friendly."

"They are. They love each other."

"Awww." He smirked at her. "I should take Lucky home."

"You can stay for dinner. Jake's been recalled tonight at ten."

Clint grinned but nodded. "I can do that."

Jake grinned. "The assassins early this morning pissed off your former handler," he told Clint. "He walked out looking perfectly calm and reasonable."

Clint shivered. "Wow, someone's going to pay when Coulson finds them." He looked at Darcy. Who smiled. "At least you have something to do now."

"Yup. He's a good boy. I just need to name him."

"What's their nationality?" Jake asked.

"Portugese," Darcy said. She looked up a naming site on her phone to search through. "Conor, one 'n'. Means dog lover or wolf lover. It's mythological and Irish in origin."

"Good," Clint said. "Easy to call. Not going to give you odd looks. Dog license?" he asked.

"Got the form, we'll file it tomorrow." She smiled. "Kate said she wanted to name hers after Natasha. I told her to name it something less deadly thanks to the rule of names."

"She'd be creeped out by Kate naming her dog after her." He looked at Lucky, who stretched out and shoved at him but he shifted to keep his dog on his lap. "We have food and all that stuff?"

"We hit petco," she said with a nod and a grin. "We have *everything*." Clint grinned.

"Seven bags of stuff for three dogs," Jake told him as he finished up the instal. "Okay. That should work. Now all we need is someone to test it."

"Use a piece of metal," Clint said. Jake found one and went to test it outside. They both heard him yelp and something small drop to the carpet.

"You okay, Jake?" she called.

"Yeah, it works and it's mean." He came in and kicked the piece of metal in. "That's better. Let me go clean up." Darcy hopped up to hug him, getting a grin back. "Usually I'd be doing it for Jolene but Pooch is massively overprotective of his wife." He went to clean up and get ready to leave later that night. He came out and Darcy had dinner coming out of the oven. Clint was setting the table. The dogs were staring at them from their little hidden area. Jake smiled at Clint. "One of the breeds the quiz spit out was a corgi."

"I think they're cute little wiggly balls of fur but are they more than that?"

"They hunted ground critters," Jake said. "And they're protective."

Clint nodded then shook his head quickly. "My thought was the first time someone broke in and saw the dog barking at them," Darcy admitted. "I'd get to hit them while they laughed."

"Yeah, it's likely." He got handed another plate. "James," he called. "Dinner." He came in from the roof. Darcy pointed so he went to clean up. He looked at Jake.

Jake grinned. "He did ask."

"It figures." They settled in to eat the nice pork chops baked under a pile of stuffing with mixed vegetables on the side. James came out to settle in and eat with them. "Everything okay out there?" Clint asked him.

"Yeah. I saw that smartass kid with the webs again."

Darcy nodded. "I helped patch him up one night at the old place."

"Why did he know where you live?" James asked.

"He got slammed into my bedroom window," she said.

"Oh." James nodded and stuffed his mouth.

"He's young," Darcy said.

"Yeah, I can tell," James said. Someone knocked and the dogs ran over to bark at it. James went to look, opening the door. "Does Darcy know you?"

She leaned over to look. "That's Cougar." Jake started to eat faster. "Slow down, Jake, before you choke." He slowed down and waved at Cougar, who came in to stare at the dogs. "The fluffy's one's mine, he's Conor. The darker one's Kate's dog, not named yet, and the bigger fluffy one's Lucky, Clint's dog."

Cougar nodded, letting them sniff him so he could pet all three. "You're good dogs," he said in Spanish. "Very protective." He came over to stare at Jake. "Our mission has changed some. Max has Aisha and Jolene," he said quietly. Jake inhaled dinner and Darcy got him stuff to go with him and some for Cougar too. He tipped his hat with a smile and a nod.

"Let me know if one of you guys needs to hide in my closet," Darcy reminded him.

"We will," Jake said, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before following his teammate and making sure the dogs didn't join them.

"How did you find them?" James asked.

"I got given their name by someone when I was living in Chicago. HYDRA had found me in my supposedly super safe apartment so I had to move. That was after HYDRA dosed me with that lust drug and after that whole kidnaping thing they tried. They helped me find a safer apartment while guarding me and one of them went with me to DC when I had to go to an awards thing where my boss was being honored. Where I got bit by a lizard."

Clint smiled. "You looked hot."

"Thank you. Shelly said I needed to look hot for some fundraising things." She grinned. James still looked confused. "No one pays them to clean up their names from that arms dealer's thing."

Clint shook his head. "I looked that up and got pissed on their behalf." He kept Darcy from dropping pieces of pork chop to the dogs. "They don't get people food."

"It's meat."

"No."

"Fine. Sorry, guys. Daddy Clint said no food." She looked at him. "Hold on. Lucky gets pizza."

"He steals pizza." She gave him a pointed look then gave each dog a bit of pork chop. "You're setting a bad precedent."

"They know they have to earn treats." She grinned. "We're already working on the training stuff."

"Good. I need to do more of that with Lucky."

"He's been helping me with Conor's all afternoon."

"That's sweet of him. Did you teach him any tricks?"

"A few. He taught the puppies about fetch. I taught Lucky about using the shower handle by accident when we had a bath because he got into the ketchup when he was browsing for pizza."

"Well, if my dog tosses me in the shower I'll know why," he said dryly, eating something. Lucky was whining pitifully and lifted a paw while staring at him. "It's not pizza." The pathetic got turned up with the application of two others trying him. He groaned. "Guys, c'mon."

"Guys, only Lucky can beg Clint," Darcy said. "Settle down." She went to put down food for them. They all ran to snarf it down.

Clint looked at her. "Feeding during dinner. I didn't think about that." They went back to eating. James was staring at the dogs but eating. Then Darcy's new large breed dog ran over to pounce him, knocking his chair back some. Clint laughed. "Lucky does that to me too, James."

"He's just cuddly," Darcy said. "His other parent was part teddybear."

Clint shook his head but James was staring at the dog while petting it. The dog settled into his lap to nap. James stared at him but went back to eating. "I think he's comfy. He's snoring." James shook his head with a sigh.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Clint said, looking at his innocent looking dog. "Don't I, Lucky." Lucky wagged his tail and got happy as he came over to beg his father for more food.

Darcy grinned, but pulled out dessert for them, and Steve when he got there. James was still being a comfy lap so he didn't leave fast enough.

Steve caught him before he could move. "Stay." He looked at Darcy. "Are you okay? We heard you had assassins earlier."

"They tried but the guys got them. Coulson was here when I got back. Oh, that's Conor, he's my dog. One 'n'."

"He's adorable and fluffy," Steve said, looking down at the dog. "You're going to be a big dog. You have huge paws."

Darcy grinned. "He is but he's a good dog." Conor's head popped up over the edge of the table. "You are. You're a good boy. So is Kate's doggy. She's a good girl." That one barked at her from the floor. Darcy smiled, handing her a dog treat. The other two got one too and they settled in to nibble and rest. James still didn't get his lap back but Conor was apparently comfy.

Steve smiled at his best friend then at Darcy. "Do we know who they were?"

"No, but Coulson got really pissed off. He went totally unemotional."

Steve blinked a few times. "Okay. I can ask him if it's related."

"He didn't think it was HYDRA related. It was likely related to the politician slime."

"Ah," Steve said with a nod. "He is an idiot." He sat down in the free chair, looking at the dog. "He seems very comfy." He grinned. "Bucky, you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm not used to being napped on." He was staring at the other two dogs, who were hogging the couch, then at the one in his lap. "You could go nap with them." Darcy reached over. "No, he's fine enough, Darcy."

"Okay." She patted him on the arm. "If it's raining you can borrow the couch," she said patiently. "Instead of hanging out up there getting a natural shower. The city's water isn't that clean, even when it rains." He snorted but smirked a tiny bit. She grinned at Clint. "So, are you home for a bit?"

"Six weeks. Lucky and I can go jogging with you in the mornings."

"We'd go walk. I don't run."

He smirked at her. "Yours might need that sort of exercise."

"He'll be good with walking. I asked."

"Fine. You could jog."

"Sure, if I put on three sports bras," she shot back. "So I don't rip a chest muscle." He winced. "I workout at the gym, Clint."

"Fine. We just worry."

She nodded. "I know and it's sweet." He ruffled her hair. "Finish your dessert." She snorted but dug back in. James was eating with one hand while his other was petting the dog.

Steve grinned at the subtle fussing his buddy was doing. He remembered Bucky petting him that way when he had fevers.

James looked at him. "Mind out of the past."

"Sorry."

"No, it's good," James said. The dog woke up to stare up at him. "You don't get sugar stuff. It's bad for you." The dog yawned and stretched, heading for the door. Darcy hopped up to grab leashes so the dogs could go out together. Clint came to get his dog's leash. James watched them go then looked at Steve. "Just showed up to check on her?"

"Yeah. She's swell but I've got a girl I'm chatting with."

"Finally!"

Steve rolled his eyes. "How about you? Any dames in your life?"

"No. It's not safe."

"They wouldn't take her."

"They would, Stevie. They really will." He looked toward the window, hearing squealing. He got up to look out there, opening the window. "What happened?" he called.

Darcy looked up and waved. "Got splashed by a car. We need to do puppy baths in a few minutes, guys." She walked back inside, smiling at her landlord. "The brown one's mine. The other's Kate's puppy but she's out and about."

"That makes a lot of sense." He looked, letting both dogs sniff him. Kate's dog huffed but her dog sat and panted at him, tongue hanging out. "He looks nice, Lewis."

"Thanks. He's a good dog so far. We adopted today."

"The lease has a size limit, you remembered that, right?" he asked.

Darcy winced. "No?"

He sighed. "Any damage, you have it fixed." She nodded with a grin. "Will he be huge?"

"He's half large breed. Part mountain dog."

He nodded. "That'll be huge. Fix anything he breaks. Or any slobber before it warps the floors please."

"Thanks." She walked them upstairs. "C'mon, guys. Times for a puppy bath!" They barked and raced her up the stairs. She hit the code and went in, the dogs heading for the kitchen. "No, bathroom, guys. Not the kitchen sink. C'mon." She pulled them into the bathroom and shut the bathroom door before they could escape. She started with Kate's smaller dog. She frowned when she checked the fur. Color was coming off. "Were you dyed, sweetie?" She kept scrubbing and her darker black dog was more gray. "Huh."

She rinsed her off, then dropped her onto a towel to shake off. Her dog got a stare and she pointed. "C'mon. Bath. Really." The dog barked at her, tail going. "I know, but you're spreading mud around the bathroom, Conor. Into the tub." She patted it. He barked again, looking happy. She lifted him up with a groan and put him into the tub, running water to bathe him. He tried to escape but she blocked him with her chest, letting him wiggle against her.

"Yeah, then I'll need my own puppy bath," she said dryly. She got him cleaned off and out of the tub. Her dog didn't have any color fading. "So weird." She dried them both off then stripped down to take her own shower. Of course, the dogs hopped in to help her take a shower. "Of course, guys," she said. They finished up and she dried them off again then they all went to change into jammies. The dogs ran out to bark at Bucky while she was pulling on clothes.

"Why is Kate's mutt a different color?" James called.

"I think she had hair dye on," she called back, coming out adjusting her shirt as she walked. "No clue but it faded as I scrubbed her." She took a picture with her phone and sent it to Kate's phone. Along with a message why her dog was so weird looking. Kate sent back a 'that's so weird' and 'I'll be back in about two hours'. Darcy dropped her phone onto the coffee table before sitting down. Her damp puppy hauled himself into her lap and collapsed, panting hard. "Yeah, you're a good boy, Conor. Yes you're a good boy." She petted him until he was snoring. She grinned at Steve. "They both snore."

"So does Bucky," he said. He was watching Bucky absently pet the snoring terrier mix in his lap. "You look good with a dog."

"Thank you." He looked outside at the sudden lightening. "Let me go get my pack." He put the dog down and hurried out the window to grab his pack and come back inside. "You sure you don't mind, Darcy?"

"No, I don't mind, James. You can have the couch." He nodded, putting the bag in the corner so he could sit down again. The dog was giving him hurt, pouty looks so he let her back into his lap.

Steve grinned at Darcy. "Done anything else fun recently?"

"I got to tease Jake earlier." She grinned. "You know I'm on low activity so I'm safer."

"You could go out. You just have to be careful."

"I tried to go to a museum and an agent nearly threw a hissy at me for being out and about for unnecessary reasons. They tried to complain about grocery shopping too but I pointed out having them delivered wasn't as safe as me doing it myself."

"I didn't even think about that." He tipped his head to look at the dog. "He's very comfortable."

"He really is." Lightening went off outside and she scowled up at the sky. "Thor's local." He went to look for him to see what was going on. She looked at James, who shrugged. Clint and Lucky came back. Darcy pointed. "Mine destroyed the bathroom if you want to go rinse him off and then rinse out his fur."

"Thanks." He took Lucky to dry off and came back to throw the towels in the washer. Even the ones she had left. They all smelled like wet dog. "Why did they get a bath? And why is Kate's dog gray?"

"It looked like hair dye washing out," she told him. "We got splashed by mud so we needed a puppy bath."

"That's a great reason." He sat down with Lucky halfway on his lap to nap. "Tired, buddy?" Lucky woofed and fell asleep. He shook his head, looking at Darcy's dog. "He really does snore a lot."

"They both snore," James said. "She's got huffing snores."

Steve came back in with Thor, who was barely damp. Steve had a damp t-shirt now. Darcy pointed. "Towels in the closet in either bathroom, Steve." He grinned, going to get one. "Hey, Thor."

"Darcy." He stared at her dog. "It's small."

"It's young." He nodded. "It'll be about twice this size by the time he's fully grown." She pointed. "That's Kate Bishop's dog. She hasn't named her yet. Mine's name is Conor."

"After the Irish myth?" he asked. She smiled and nodded. "It's a nice thing." He sat down, nodding at Clint. "I needed a break."

"Stark, Jane, or the kid?" Clint asked.

"Natasha and my daughter. My Jane is trying to introduce her to science and failing."

"Science is pretty big thoughts for little kids," Darcy said. "Maybe she'll like art instead."

"Mayhap," he agreed. He smiled when Darcy's dog woke up. "Good evening, Conor." The dog looked so confused. "He doesn't know his name yet?"

"I only adopted him earlier." She held him up so Thor could pet his ears. "This is Thor, Conor. He's a nice guy most of the time. The rest he's drunk." Thor snorted but looked amused. The puppy went back into her lap and settled in next to her to sniff noses with a sleeping Lucky then curl up next to his buddy.

Clint looked at him then shook his head. "Remember, you live with her and Lucky is my dog, Conor." He petted him anyway. The dog sighed and went back to sleep. He looked at Darcy. "Is his breed protective?"

"Supposed to be. They used to be a herd watching type of dog."

"Then that's a good thing," Clint agreed. "I still can't imagine you with a corgi."

She grinned. "They're protective and they can hunt."

"Yeah but still, tiny dog."

"Easier to carry to tutoring with me."

He stared at her. "I'm pretty sure your dog can fit into your usual bag since it's the size of a weekender bag." She grinned. "The kids will love the dog too." Scott knocked and was let in. "Hey. Come meet Conor."

He came over to pet Lucky then the other dog. "Hey, Conor." The dog woofed but went back to sleep. He turned, staring at James. "Wow, the dog nearly matches your arm."

James scowled, shaking his head. "He's Bishop's dog."

"She'll have fun with it. She could use something to fuss over." He sat down in the last free seat. Steve came back out dried off and settled on the floor next to Bucky. "So the kids?"

"I can go back in another week and a half. The doc wants me to be fully out of the infection. I have a week of antibiotics left and I see him the next day so I can go back Wednesday."

"Cool. I'll let them know that." She grinned at him. "Kate and I have been filling in."

"Aww. Thank you."

"You're welcome. The kids do need it." He looked at Thor. "Stark?"

"My daughter."

Scott nodded. "I have those days too, Thor. My daughter's almost a teenager soon and she drives me nuts."

"Boy bands," Clint quipped.

Darcy nudged Clint with an elbow. "Dating."

Scott shuddered. "No! She's not allowed to date. Never allowed to date." She grinned at him. "That's evil."

"She's how old? Group dates usually start going on about fourteen. After begging for makeup and trendy clothes starts."

"Shut up," Scott begged. "Please?"

"Sorry. Just teasing." She grinned. "You got a few years."

"Gee, thanks." He looked at the smiling god. "Your little girl will get there soon enough too."

"Nay, she'll have a guard to go with her," he said with a smirk. "I have been promised one to protect her vulnerable years."

Darcy shook her head. "It's not that hard to lose a bodyguard, Thor. I managed it without really trying." Thor scowled at her. She grinned. "And the warrior coming down won't be used to things like the internet."

"I will have him briefed so my daughter cannot get into those sort of problems. Perhaps I'll encourage her to turn into her mother so she focuses on science instead."

"Science doesn't stop puberty," Darcy said.

"What is this puberty?" Thor asked.

"The time when a teenager, or younger, turns into an adult body shape," Clint said. "Kate said one of the girls in her class's little sister has her girlish cycle and she's eleven."

"Paper yesterday had a brand new mom that had her kid on her eleventh birthday," Darcy said. "I've seen major boobs on sixth graders in the mall. They were in the same bra shop I was."

Thor shuddered. "I do not wish that on any child, but especially not mine."

"Have Sif teach her how to be a woman of Asgard that's picky and respected," Darcy said.

Thor nodded. "She would. She thinks my daughter sweet."

"She probably is," Darcy agreed, grinning at him. "Jane is when she's not busy."

Thor nodded. "True, she is the most like her mother." He shifted. The dog on James' lap woke up with a stretch and a bark for her lap then she got down and went to lap some water. "That one is tiny."

"It's young and a smaller breed," Steve said. "Have you seen the tiny dogs that get carried around by some women?"

"I have and wondered why," Thor admitted.

"Me too," Darcy agreed. "My only other dog friend was a german shepard we adopted from the LAPD when they retired it. I was little but it was a good friend. Nearly bit Tony once."

Clint shook his head but he was smiling. "I think a few more should try."

"Pepper mad at him again?" she asked him. Steve nodded quickly. "Okay. Have we talked to Pepper?"

"No. It's not our place," Steve said.

Darcy smiled and nodded. "They'll work it out. They've been together now for decades."

"True," Steve said. "It's just stressful right now. That and the same old arguments are coming up." He stared at her suddenly. "The ones that protested the accords?"

She grinned. "Chewing him a new one weekly for something stupid he had an idea about from what I heard. Not sure what though."

"His plan to robotic farm?" Clint guessed. Darcy shrugged. "Huh. We all thought that one was weird."

"If he can get it to work, they could use it to do sampling on Mars and the like," she said.

"Point," Scott agreed. "But not something we want to think about. We're still pretty creeped out by all the robots. Not the lab bots, they're cool. Even if one does keep pinching me on the butt."

"One got me on the breast and I swatted it and yelled so it went to hide in the corner and JARVIS said that he would correct that behavior," she said. "I do miss JARVIS."

"Us too," Clint agreed. "FRIDAY's...kinda sweet and syrupy."

"And sounds like my mother," Steve muttered, shaking his head. Bucky looked at him. "It does."

"Why?"

"No idea," Steve admitted. "It's just enough off that it's weird." He looked toward the door and pointed. Darcy shrugged. Steve got up to answer the door, staring at Stark. "Hey. We're having a meeting after all." He hauled him inside and then Bruce since he was there.

Stark glared at Darcy. "They are not chewing me a new one."

She stared at him. "You sure?"

He huffed but nodded. "They stopped last week."

She leaned over to grab her phone, looking something up. She held it up so he could see it, letting him snatch the phone to read. "They're the ones bothering Pepper probably."

He groaned, handing it back as he walked into the kitchen to get some water while calling Pepper. "No bottled, Darcy?" he asked her.

"Used it earlier. Look in the pitcher. It's a filter pitcher. I changed the filter three days ago." He looked and grimaced but pulled it out to get himself and Bruce a glass of water.

Bruce came out, staring at the dogs on Clint. Then one walked past him and hopped up to nap on Lucky's stomach fur. Lucky shifted but she snuggled into the warm, fluffy spot. "Adopting?" he guessed, sipping his water.

Clint pointed. "Mine, Darcy's, Kate Bishop's."

"That's why Lucky's so familiar, we had to shoo him out of the labs once." Stark looked at Darcy's dog then at her. "Lonely?"

"I could use something to fuss over," she said, staring at him. "So why the visit?"

"I'm bored," he admitted. He sat down under Lucky's tail and Bruce got a dining room table chair to sit on. "I heard you got an assassin earlier."

"I was on the couch. Jake and Coulson got them. I went into the bedroom with Pooch's baby when the second one showed up."

Stark nodded. "Pooch?"

"On Jake's team," Darcy said.

"Huh. I've only glanced over that stuff to make sure I'm not tied to it. Thankfully that guy's a psycho and I never would've sold to him, and Obidiah probably would've sneered at him for being so psycho." He sipped his water. Lucky woke up to stare at him. "Yes, I moved your fluffy tail. It was in the way, Lucky." He petted the dog's side. He yelped when a small gray blur pounced him to lap him. "Hey!" He tipped his head back, trying to fend off the tongue of doom. "Don't drool on me. That's Pepper's job."

"Hey," Darcy said with a snap. The dog stared at her. "Be nicer. Get down." She pointed at the floor. "Down." The puppy came jogging across everyone to her. She petted her. "You have to be a good dog, not attack the Tony with your tongue, dear." The dog settled in to be petted and adored. Someone knocked and the dogs all hopped up to bark at the door.

"I don't know why there's a keypad," Kate called. "Will it kill me?"

"Zap you pretty hard," Darcy called. Clint got up to let her in. She limped in and scooped up her dog to cuddle. "You good?"

"I'm fine. I tripped while running." She sat down against Darcy's chair with her dog. "You really did fade a lot."

"I swear it was like hair dye," Darcy told her. "She's pounced Tony to tongue ambush him too."

"We can work on that." Lucky and the other dog came over to sniff her, getting their own petting in. "You guys are good dogs." They ran to Darcy, who fed them a treat with a smile. "Good, you're appropriately spoiled." She waved at Stark. "Hey."

"Bishop," he said with a nod. "Who were you chasing?"

"One of the local mercs got hit with a drug by some idiot in all black spandex and no eyeholes in Harlem. I was chasing him to get him down so they could take him to an ER. I tripped over a kid's bike."

"It happens to the best of us," Clint assured her. He patted his lap and Darcy's dog came to sit on him. "Hi. I was looking at my dog but sure, I can pet you." He petted him. The dog flopped down with a sigh of pleasure, snoring almost immediately into Clint's abs. "I must have magic." Lucky came over to hop up to get his own petting. Clint grinned, petting his own dog. Darcy got up enough to grab her dog from his lap. "Thanks, Darce."

"Welcome." She smiled. "Silly, you sit on me and I'll let you nap." She petted her dog until he fell back asleep.

Stark shook his head. "You look good with a dog." He looked at Thor. "Do you guys keep pets?"

He nodded. "Some do. Mostly practical beasts."

"Kate's is a guard dog type for half of it. Mine's the sort of dog that would guard a flock of animals in the mountains for half of his lineage."

"Clint's is probably mostly hunting dog," Kate agreed. "Not too many dog breeds aren't useful in some way, even if they were meant to sit on lady's laps and bark if anyone annoyed them."

"Some of those also hunted mice," Darcy said. "They were just pretty." Her dog looked up at her. "You're pretty too, Conor." She picked up the brush to brush him for a bit. He liked that, he flipped over for tummy brushing. "Good boy, Conor."

"That will be the biggest, most spoiled purse dog ever," Stark said dryly.

She smirked at him. "Do you still have the scar where Cujo bit you?"

He snorted. "Yes. Thankfully it mostly bleached out." He shook his head, looking at Bruce. "They adopted an LAPD dog when she was six. It was very protective of her and her mother." Bruce smiled at Darcy.

"It was also a former drug dog and hated alcohol," Darcy quipped. "It bit Tony because he was drunkenly wobbling in the driveway. That was after he nearly burned his dick off."

"No comment," Tony said with an evil smirk at her.

"You know, for the longest time, I thought that drinking meant you'd get burns. That was Mom's don't drink speech."

He shook his head with a sigh. "Your mom was kind of a bitch now and then."

"Yeah, and I get it honestly," she said with a sweet smile.

"Burns?" Steve asked her, looking at Tony. "What were you doing?"

"Flaming shots to impress a few women," Tony said dryly. "Her mother burst into the house because there was a party I was hosting that I forgot about. I yelped and dropped said flaming shot in my mankini wearing lap." Darcy giggled, nodding. "How long did you think that?"

"Until Gloria got extra lit on her parent's bar when they forgot to get her a sitter and she had a sleepover. Thankfully one of the girls was smart enough to call an ambulance for her. That Monday, the teacher had a talk about alcohol drinking and I realized then that the flaming part was all you, Tony."

"You were nine!"

"Yeah. Not like I was drinking before then."

"Point." He shook his head quickly. Thor was smiling at him and patted him on the back. "Her mother had that reputation as a mom sort of mom that nagged."

"Mom had to go sit with those kids at Gloria's while the cops found parents that were mostly out of town and nannies hadn't realized there wasn't a parent available there. They couldn't hand them to nannies by law." Darcy grinned. "Sixteen girls. One massive bar that the girls sampled a lot of. Including some really expensive wine they were saving for the worth." Kate was giggling. "Parents were in lower Mexico for their anniversary week. Didn't realize their nanny hadn't come back the week before they left. None of the nannies checked when the kids said 'of course her parents will be there'."

She nodded a bit, smirking some at James. "Whole lots of drunk little girls. Two with alcohol poisoning. Gloria was in the hospital for three days from all the booze she sampled. Thankfully her parents got home the next morning after she got out and my mom babysat Gloria on the couch for a few hours. Dad had a long talk with her about how alcohol ruined some famous people's lives. It wasn't fashionable back then. He got through to her because she now knew that booze made you feel miserable. And the nurses were mean to her because of it."

"Mine or Stevies' mom would've beaten us senseless," James said. Steve nodded to back that up. "We would've been dead from it. Honestly dead from it. And if she couldn't, my father or the local priest would've."

"Father Michael," Steve said with a shudder. "He was judgmental anyway but he beat a few kids for their parents, even without them asking."

Darcy patted him on the head. "Now they get put in jail for that."

"He could've used it back then." He straightened out his hair, scowling at her. She grinned back. "You're a tease."

"No, I'm not a tease. I'm just in a petting mood and my dog isn't obliging yet. You're as soft and fluffy as any dog is." He snorted but looked amused.

Stark was shaking his head. "I remember hearing about Gloria being in the hospital for alcohol poisoning."

"The LAPD officer in charge got to walk into a country club during brunch on Saturday," Darcy said. "To arrest three sets of parents. I'm sure that was one of the happiest arrests of his life," she said dryly. "Because a few of those parents were downright snotty to everyone. Oh!" She snapped her fingers. "Remember Marcy?"

"Marcy?"

"You usually called her Macy. Red pigtail girl." He nodded, remembering her now. "She's a nun."

Stark gaped. "No way! She had half the football team and the both the softball and the baseball teams."

"Yeah. Carmelite nun. It came with the alumni update letter for our reunion. She's an honest to god nun."

"Wow," Stark said. "Never would've considered that for her."

"Apparently her brother went into the military against his father's wishes and when he got killed, she went to God. And you missed a team in there. She had more than half of the chess team on a dare one night at a party."

Stark winced, shaking his head. "Wow." She nodded. "Any other huge shocks?"

"Remember Bradley?"

"Pop culture boy? Followed all the fads, looked like a wannabe member of Wham?"

"Yeah, him. We were all right, he's gay. He's married, one of the first in the state when it became legal. His husband's a lawyer. Bradley runs a bookstore."

"He ran a petition to get rid of the school's library to give the room to the chess team so they were out of view of normal kids."

She smiled and nodded. "Yup, him."

"Did you go to the same school?" Steve asked Stark.

"No. I was her senior year's mentor. They always asked someone who wasn't an alumni but was in business or law or something steady as a field so we could break the kid's expectations of walking out the door to find Prince Charming waiting in his coach for them. I swear, a few of them didn't think about needing to work for a living. Even if they were rich, they had no plans."

Darcy nodded. "Many of them. Every year we had a run on the SAT test and filing for college admission after the first speech by our senior year mentor. Mine, half of them had no idea what they were going to do and none of them were rich enough to sit around all day. He told one of them to become a mistress because she wouldn't make it as a trophy wife. She's a vet now. Decided you were right, she wasn't worthy so she went to college."

"That's good," he agreed. "The world could use more people who gave a damn."

"Her former husband was found diddling six eighteen year olds. He wanted to be Hef."

Tony snorted, shaking his head. "Compensating?"

"Yeah but he paid things for them."

He nodded with a grimace. "Figures. She win the divorce stakes?"

"Yup. And she did it by exposing his health reports from bloodwork." Tony winced. "Not HIV but still pretty nasty and the girls didn't know before she presented it in court with the judge ordering them to be there."

"Damn."

"Yeah. The judge is the brother-in-law of one of the year before mine." She grinned. "She asked specifically if the judge could order that."

"That was nice of him. I hope the girls got smart."

"Me too." She looked at Steve. "I had a bunch of semi-worthless people who I went to school with. A few came out okay. A lot....are still trying to figure out what the rest of us got when we were eighteen. One's an escort. He has his own agency. Does pretty well. It was in the newsletter too."

Stark shook his head with a sigh. "He bragged?"

"The reunion committee must've decided he was the least worst story."

"Are you in there?"

"I didn't send back my paperwork because I don't really want to go."

"That's a good idea," Stark said. "You'd sneer at everyone."

"Maybe. I can pretend to have manners for a few hours. I might sneer at a few of the teachers. Oh." She smiled. "One of the teachers is still hitting on the barely legal kids for their eighteenth birthdays. But it's not against the law so they can't stop her."

"You'd think they'd get rid of her for the bad taste," Stark said, shaking his head. "Do I know her?"

"She was the one that nearly blew you at the dinner table that day."

"She wasn't too bad. Kinda hot," he admitted.

"Had a thing for barely legal virgins," she said.

"Don't their parents mind?" Bruce asked.

"No, because being a male virgin is seen as an embarrassment," Darcy reminded him. "Unlike for women."

"Point. I forgot about that double standard." He stared at her. "You could go."

"I don't think I want to go."

He nodded. "I wouldn't either. Mine would just annoy me."

"I wouldn't mind but I don't want to deal with the people. There's a few in my class that would be on that slimy fucker's side." She tipped her head, looking toward the door. Someone kicked it and screamed. "Hey, the zappy pad does work," she quipped. Steve looked at her. "If you don't put in the correct code, the door shocks you like my tazer." She grinned. "Jake put it in earlier for me after we got back with the dogs."

"I need the code," Kate reminded her. Darcy wrote it down and handed it over. "Thanks." Clint stared at her. "In case I need to come get her dog to puppy sit like I do yours."

"Point."

Steve got up to see who was on the ground groaning. He stared. "Darcy, he's wearing a uniform."

"Really?" She looked. "That's a fake one, Steve. Wrong shade." She pulled out her phone to call. "Hi, I have what appears to be a fake officer that was stunned by my security system laying in my apartment hallway. This would be after someone tried to assassinate me earlier twice, with officers present the second time. My security system has a shock system," she reported. "He's groaning and moaning and his uniform is navy blue with silver trim. Thank you. Yes, that's mine. Am I on a 'bad things happen here list'?" She nodded. "That makes sense. Thank you, ma'am." She hung up. "Few minutes, Steve."

He nodded. "He's not waking up yet." All three dogs came to sniff him and Kate's dog sneezed on him before trotting off. He stared at her. "You're so weird."

"She's part Russian terrier," Kate said with a grin.

"She does remind me of Natasha somewhat," he decided, still looking confused.

James burst out in giggles, nodding. "Yes, she does." The dog gave him her version of the offended look. "You do. It must be the Russian parts of you," he told her in Russian. She barked, sounding smug, then cuddled with her human again. "We should find a way to let you meet her."

Kate grinned. "We're doing a cross-training thing in a few days with their team." She gave him her best good girl grin.

Stark looked at her. "I'd almost pay money to see that. She'll be huffy for hours."

Clint shook his head but he was grinning. "We can do that. I'm bringing Lucky that day too since it'll be a long day."

Stark stared at him. "Do we need pets at the facility?"

"Yes. It's not cheery," Clint said smugly. "He can hang out with Bruce to mooch his sandwiches."

Bruce looked at him. "I don't get along well with dogs."

"Lucky, come meet Brucie," Darcy called. Lucky came back to sniff the person she pointed at. Then he stared at Bruce before licking him and seeming to grin. He went back to teach the puppy about bad people. Officers ran up the stairs. "I called on the idiot," she called. "That's not a you guys uniform. It's an LAPD colored one."

"It is," one of them agreed. "What sort of security system do you have, ma'am?"

"It shocks you," Darcy said with a grin. "It got put in earlier after two assassination attempts, one with you guys on site to handle the first one."

"Just a shock system?"

"Like a tazer." She grinned. "I have three prices on my head, Officer. It's safer."

He nodded. "Have you thought about a guard dog, miss?" She pointed at the puppy with a grin. "He's cute."

"I just adopted him from a shelter today."

"That's great. Who's after you?"

"A slimy politician sort. His price just raised today. HYDRA kidnaped me. And my stepmother whore is getting out of jail in another month, somehow twenty years early."

He winced. "That's just wrong."

"Especially since she went away for murdering my father."

"Very wrong."

"She's had ones who took that one?" James asked her.

She nodded. "Every now and then a con that she served time with shows up. There's been seven that I'm aware of and got away from. Well, six I got away from. I was informed of one being at my undergrad's campus after they arrested him on top of the dorm I didn't live in."

The officer blinked. "You're that lady that smacked that guy, right?"

"Yeah, and his price on my head went up today."

"Crap."

"We figured the ones earlier were his."

"We can make sure. How strong is it?" She pointed at the metal bar on the floor. He shut the door and touched the bar to it. It took twice but it shocked him pretty good. He let Steve reopen it for him. "That's a good, strong strength and might be illegal."

She grinned. "I'd hope not. I'd hate to have to boobytrap the doors."

"Us too," the other officer agreed. He stood up and looked at Steve then threw something at him, making Steve bat it and put the officer into the wall.

"I didn't know you were dirty," the first officer told his partner. "Pretty stupid to attack Captain America." He called that in so they got a supervisor and an ambulance.

"Hail HYDRA. We'll still get you yet, Rogers."

Darcy stood up and walked out there, smiling at him. "Really? You so sure of that?"

The man stared at her, mouth open. He blinked a few times. "Oh," he said quietly, trying to get free. "We must bring you in." She slugged him in the jaw. "You hit like a girl."

"That's because I am a girl." She smiled at the other officer. "They wanted to knock me up with super soldier babies." She went back inside with his dog. "Lucky, c'mon, he's a super bad guy even worse than the Russian mobsters that work around here." Lucky followed her, hopping up to sit on his parent again.

Clint smiled and waved at the officer. "I found Darcy this place."

"That's sweet, Hawkeye." He looked at his superior officer. "He spat out Hail HYDRA, sir."

"Wasn't he stupid." He looked at his person and who was holding him. "Sir? May I?"

"Of course, Officer." He let him go and pointed. "He tried to throw that on me. I have no idea what that is."

Tony came out to look at it. "Chemical, not sure why." He put it carefully into the bag the senior officer had. "Smells like burnt sulphur actually." He went back to his seat after getting some water. "Russian mob?" he demanded, looking at his teammate.

"Yeah, they say bro a lot," Darcy quipped. "Wear track suits."

"Are really, really stupid," Kate complained. "Brain hurting dumb."

The local officer nodded. "We've run into them, miss."

She smiled. "I'm so sorry they bothered you guys too."

Clint nodded. "Yes, we are."

The officers nodded and took their former coworker with them while the ambulance got the guy on the ground. They'd handle this soon enough.

Darcy looked at Clint. "If I have to move again, I'm moving into a fortress and putting in my own club I'll allow people into by invitation only. I'll even invite decent DJ's."

He grinned. "I can help you find one if you really need one but it won't be downtown."

"That's fine." She nodded with a sigh. "Don't put me around yuppies. Have to have a bookstore and grocery stores nearby."

He grinned. "We'll take care of it, Lewis."

"Thanks. You are a very shiny knight, Clint."

"I try." Tony's phone rang. "Stark, you dropped your phone," he said with a point. "That's Pepper." He got up to get it, walking into a corner to talk to her.

"Darcy, your online friends are evil and making Pepper cry," he complained.

"Why?" She looked at him. "Over what?" He asked Pepper that and she told him. He groaned. "I'm guessing that's a good reason?" she asked. He nodded with a grimace. "You can talk to them. They'll probably open a dialogue with you, Tony."

"I can ask that later." He sighed. "Let me go talk to Pepper. Bruce, going home with Clint?"

"I can go to the tower, Tony." He smiled. "Be safe, Darcy."

"You too, Bruce." She gave him a hug and he smirked but left with Tony. That way he didn't have to take a cab.

Clint grinned at her. "You're sweet."

"It's all the baking I do. Someday I'm going to turn into the doughboy."

Clint snickered, shaking his head. "Probably not. You hate to be poked and you'd never wear the hat." She grinned so he looked at Kate. "Why are you avoiding your father?"

"He wanted to have a serious talk. I don't want to have another stepmother and I'm avoiding telling him about the dog."

He rolled his eyes. "Personal responsibility, girly girl."

"Fine." She got up and clipped her dog's leash on. "Have a good night, everyone. Let me go make my father confess he's dating or whatever." She walked out talking to her dog.

Darcy looked at Clint. "Do we think it's something huge?" she asked quietly.

"I think so but I'm not certain." She nodded at that. "If so, you might have a second dog for a bit."

"That's fine. We can puppy sit."

"Thanks." He grinned. "You do it so well." James was shaking his head but slightly smiling. So was Steve. "Let me hike the long way next door with Lucky so we can settle in for the night and order dinner."

"Do the Russians own the Italian place?" Darcy asked. "And the chinese one?"

He nodded. "Yeah, they do and pay them protection. This whole block is basically owned. Including the small grocery store on the next corner," he said with a point. "So it's probably safe if you order from there."

"That's what I was figuring. No one's said that they're working with HYDRA."

"They'd never take these guys, Darcy. And be careful of them? They're not exactly respectful."

"I have a tazer," she reminded him with a smile. He shivered but nodded. Steve was grinning at her. "I do."

"You do nicely with it too, Darcy." He stood up. "I should go home too. James?"

"I'm hovering," he admitted. "It's safer."

"He's got couch rights when it's raining because he kept escaping when I fed him," Darcy quipped with a grin for James.

"I'm not going to be leash trained," he shot back.

"He can't have a bed?" Steve asked her.

"There's only two and he never takes a shower." She stared at James. "If he did take a shower he could have the guest bed I guess."

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks. I'll stick with the couch for now. I fit in better."

Steve shook his head with a sigh. "Fine. Can you call in to check in?" Steve asked him.

"Probably," James admitted.

"Thanks. I worry about you, jerk." He hugged him around the head then left.

Darcy looked at him, a pointed, mom sort of look. James shrugged a bit. "I hate the disappointed look," he said quietly. She smiled and nodded. "Let me go shower." She pointed and he went to the guest bedroom to do that. Darcy was already washing most of his clothes on him. She had unpacked his backpack onto the bed and left the weapons there in the open for him. He sighed. She was such a mom sometimes.

He came out of the shower and found the dog hiding from his clingy human petting slave under his pillows. So maybe it'd be an interesting night.

***

Darcy was unintentionally meeting with a reporter the next morning and stared at her. "Do you really think I'm the stress relief for the whole team?" she asked dryly. The woman flinched. "Really? Considering I don't see them very often."

"Women like you...."

"I was a science intern, dear," she said dryly. "Living on my trust fund because I was helping my best friend."

"You're nothing," the reporter sneered.

"Actually, you're wrong. I'm a Duchess if you want to be formal about it. My grandmother was one." She smirked a tiny bit. "First born in the second generation and my cousin's not really fit for the title. Do I want to push it? No. It's not my sort of thing." She smirked at the reporter. "And just for that bit of sneering, you've won yourself a libel suit." The reporter stomped off. "You have a better day with your drug-induced fantasy world, ma'am," she called with a wave at her back. "Because that's the only reality you live in." She looked at the guy next to her. "I did get asked."

Her cousin, her uncle's son, nodded. "I know the conviction could be counted against me."

Darcy hugged him. "At least you got clean and we got you away from that bitch." She looked at him. "Are you better?"

"It hurts sometimes. The need's real and it's an ache sometimes."

She nodded. "I've seen other addicts say that. Are you at NA meetings or anything?"

"I'm not allowed according to my probation officer."

She frowned. "That seems counterproductive."

"I'm not allowed around other former offenders."

"Well, gee, that means you can't grocery shop either."

"I know." He sighed. "I've asked specifically about those. He sneered and suggested someone would buy me a rehab spot."

"We can arrange that if you want. There's some really pretty ones that have some decent results. The ones with the best results tend to be a bit more harsh."

"I'm used to harsh but I'd like not to go back there." He sipped his coffee, looking at her. "I'm shocked you're still talking to me. Grandmother would've thrown me out of the family and your mom would've bitched."

"Mom was a lot more liberal than a lot of people thought, Craig. You can't see what she did in the shelters and not be. She saw plenty of addicts, and a number that didn't start there on their own or by their own free will."

"Good point." He slumped again. "Are you okay?"

"I'd be happier without HYDRA being around," she said dryly, smirking at him. "But it happens to some of us. Real women are goddesses and we prove it by steamrolling over all the problems that get thrown in our way," she said, making him crack up at that quote from her mom. "Mom would be pissed that I swear so much though." She sipped her own coffee. "Are they going to let you live on your own soon?"

"Yeah. Did you sell Dad's house?"

"No and I told the lawyer not to because you'd need somewhere to live when you got out. If he did, I'm going to start stomping on him like he's grapes." He cracked and laughed, patting her on the wrist. She smiled. "It'll be okay. We'll get through this. I don't forget people unless they're evil. You're not evil, you're struggling. I'm all supporty."

"Thanks." He grinned. She smiled back. "You know there's someone filming us, right?"

"Probably more than one." She smiled at the person stomping over. "Yes, miss editor who let people tell blatant lies?" she asked dryly.

"Your newest client?" she sneered.

"My cousin actually. By the way, that adds you to libel suit."

"We can prove you've slept with them."

"I doubt that. I've slept with one person who's lived in the tower and that's it." She stared at her. "You're just pathetic trying to raise readership so you don't lose your paper. I'm not the one that's going to do that for you and I don't play nice." She smiled. "You have a great day in that reporter's drug-induced fantasy world since you both apparently live there."

"You slept with Barnes," she said smugly as she walked off.

Darcy burst out laughing. "No I haven't. I slept *on* him, and he's got a really comfy shoulder, but I've never slept *with* him. Sorry. You're just looking for attention and I'm not going to give it to you." The woman glared and stomped off again. "Great, more people my legal buddy gets to talk to."

Her cousin shook his head. "You need a new boyfriend. You're going evil."

"Yes I am and I need to calm down before I become a super villain." He laughed, nodding while smirking at her. She grinned back. "I'll be a good one too. No stupid plans. Worthwhile minions. Nothing that would destroy a town." She waved a hand around with a grin. "I'd have fun too."

"Please don't go evil around me. I don't want to go back."

"I know, sweetie. I'd never let you help. You don't need to go back there." She patted him on the hand again. "Let's go for a walk."

"Sure." He got up and let her grab her dog's leash so they could walk. He looked down at the puppy then at her. "Not fashionable."

"But cute, sometimes cuddly, gives me something to do all day." She smiled at one kid. "Hey."

"Are you coming back soon?" she demanded.

"I am coming back next week. I'd be back this weekend but a friend's having her wedding in Maine on Saturday."

"Pity." She looked at the dog. "You're huge."

"It's sometimes cuddly and a bit protective and it gives me something to give attention to," Darcy told her. "This is Conor. One 'n'."

"Hi," she said, letting the dog sniff her hand. It lapped it then stared at the baby, sniffing at it. She let the dog sniff the kid. "It's my baby sister. You can sniff her as long as you're nice." The dog barked, making the baby flinch. So he whined until she calmed down and nosed her foot.

"Good boy, Conor," Darcy cooed, petting his ears. "Such a good boy." She smiled. "Hi, sweetie. Are you being a good girl today?" The baby squealed.

"I think she realizes you're the one that gives me healthy cookies I give to my mom," she quipped. "Be safe, Darcy."

"You too, sweetie. I'll see you guys at the normal time on Monday." She nodded and they walked off. She walked off with her cousin. "I work with a tutoring group she attends."

"That's great. I think it's great you're doing that, Darcy." He spotted a problem. "Reporters with cameras," he groaned.

Darcy looked at him. "I am not ashamed of you. Quit." He rolled his eyes but nodded. She tightened the leash a bit so Conor couldn't get so far ahead of them.

"Miss Lewis!" the reporter said, shoving toward her.

"Don't get near my dog," she said impatiently. "He's little and doesn't know who he should bite yet." She backed off after looking at the dog. "What's up, people?"

"What do you say about that report that said you've screwed all the avengers?" the reporter asked with a smirk.

"I'm saying that the lying whore and her lying whore of an editor need to quit taking drugs. I've only slept with one person who lived in Avengers Tower. Sorry." She shrugged. "Their drugs are apparently laced with something since them and reality had a huge breakup."

The reporter blinked, staring at her. "That's not very polite."

"Yeah, I don't do polite when people try to attack me, especially with such stupid rumors that never were a thing even when I was living there. Beyond that, most of the avengers members have significant others or at least someone they're interested in. I can't *wait* until that reporter and her editor, who came over to sneer at me a few minutes ago about that same rumor they started, runs into them."

The reporter blinked a few more times, staring with her mouth open. "Wow."

"Yeah, well, I'm not a whore. I'm actually pretty damn picky about who I sleep with. Not that it should matter. That's a huge double standard thing that's really dumb. Anything else?" she asked with a smile.

"It's not a double standard."

"How many times did you call someone like Hef or Stark a whore for sleeping around?" she asked dryly. "As opposed to at least one semi-famous woman every week, even if it's false and might affect their careers or private lives? I personally think that harmful rumors like those should be open to legal action." She gave her a pointed look. "Anything else today?"

"Is this your boyfriend?"

"This is my cousin. My former uncle's son."

"Oh. We heard about him."

"Yes and if his stepmother hadn't started by shooting drugs into his arm while he was asleep then it might've been easier for him. We're catching up."

"That's sweet of you to support him with his rehab," the cameraman said. Darcy smiled at him for that. "New dog?"

"Just adopted him a few days ago. His name's Conor, after the Irish myth."

"Aww. He looks cutely confused."

"You're the first reporters he's run into." She smiled. "Let us get back to our stroll to catch up, people. Go find *real* news please? The world's full of real news and while entertainment news is stress relieving to all that, I'm not news." They nodded and went off to bother others in the park. She looked at her cousin, who was staring at her. She grinned. "I've seen a few of them over the years."

"Wow. You do that good." They walked off together again, the dog sniffing most everything. And peeing on a few. When he got back to his halfway house, someone was waiting on him. "Yes?" he asked his probation officer. "Is something wrong?"

"You were with a known convict."

"I was with my cousin who's never been arrested."

"She has a federal file, kid."

"Yeah, because HYDRA kidnaped her," he said firmly. "Because she took down a senator who had his son try to kill most of a dorm." The guy sneered. He stared back. "You need to get a warrant if you want to take me back. I know my rights and my lawyer's already on the way. I saw your car outside and I needed to talk to him anyway."

"You can't profit from a crime you committed," he sneered.

"I didn't have my father killed. I would've stopped her if she had tried to get my help." He stared at him. "If you're taking me back, you'd better have a warrant."

"Fine." He produced one with an evil grin. "You're going back, jackass."

"That's fine. We can talk to a judge." He let himself be cuffed and they walked off. They ran into his lawyer outside. "Can you get my stuff? They're saying my cousin Darcy is a convict."

"She's not," he said. "I know her pretty well." He went to gather the boy's things and followed him to the hearing, sending Darcy a desperate text message.

***
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