Never get between a Marine and his coffee (CSI:NY) by josette grover
Summary: Lindsay thought she was being helpful, everybody knows caffeine is bad for you, right?
Categories: Non Buffy/Angel Stories Characters: None
Genres: AU, Drabble
Warnings: Character Bashing, Major Character Death
Challenges: None
Series: Humorous Deathfics
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 434 Read: 9919 Published: 2008.09.18 Updated: 2008.09.18
Story Notes:
I blame this one fully on Susie from Sylum, who RP'd Montana at the time this was written. She made a comment about never getting between a marine and his coffee, then moaned when she realized she'd bunnied me.
Chapter 1 by josette grover
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: If you recognize the characters, I don't own them.
Danny looks down at Lindsay's still twitching form on the floor and slowly backs away from his growling boss.

“Do I want to know what happened?” he asks calmly while mentally begging somebody, anybody to come in and rescue him. Hell, he'd even be happy to see Sonny at this second.

“The little twit decided that I was too jumpy and told me that she had switched all the coffee to decaf in the lab.” Mac growls. “I've been to every coffee pot here and it's all. . . “

“Where the hell is the good coffee?” Somebody yells from down the hall. A fuming Stella comes stomping down the hall.

“Mac,” she hollers. “You won't believe. . .”

“Oh yes, he will.” Danny says dryly, watching Mac storm out of the lab. “Montana had the 'bright' idea to put decaf coffee in all the coffee pots. Quick, make a batch of the good stuff so he can calm down.”

“Can't,” Stella snarls, “The little bitch either threw away or hid all the good stuff. I'll kill her.” she says, stomping into the lab. “Where is the little shit hiding?”

“You're too late, Mac already killed her.” Danny says dryly, pointing down as he steps over Lindsay's body. “She's not hiding, she's right here.” Danny calmly leaves the lab, heading to Mac's office.

“Mac, Give me five hundred from Petty Cash. I'll go order coffee for everybody from Starbucks before I run and get a new supply of coffee.”

“Thank you Danny,” Mac says, opening the safe, bringing out an envelope, and handing Danny some money. “I suppose I'd better give Sid a call so he can come get her body. Dammit, I hate having to fill out paperwork.” He growls.

Danny calmly leaves the office, glad he'd drunk his fill of coffee this morning before coming to work. Stopping off at the front desk, he lets the cop on duty know a messenger from Starbucks would be showing up soon, and letting the gossip that Lindsay had died for switching everybody to decaf at the labs start making the rounds.

Don comes running out of the detectives bullpen. “You're kidding me, right? Not even Montana would be that stupid.”

“Nope, be glad it's a slow day. I'd hate to see anybody have to go out on a call before they get some real coffee in them. There'd be more than one body at the scene the first time somebody opened their mouth.”
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