The Idea for this one came from a prompt table on LiveJournal called the WTF 27. Since
I'm not on LiveJournal I only took the prompts as inspiration for this one. So if you're
wondering, yes, it's the WTF element that drew me.


Kissy Kissy Bang Bang.


Xander looked up from his waiting spot. The interview was for a secretarial position. Not
his favorite thing in the world but he could type and make pretty decent coffee. It'd keep
his landlord off his back and let him maybe save a few bucks. So yeah, he was here waiting
to be interviewed with the three women in the room giving him odd looks. He glared at one
and she looked away. He looked at the receptionist, who only gave him a weak smile. He
leaned back, trying to look calm and confident. He had been to a lot of interviews in the last
few months. He hoped this one worked out better than his last one. His last interview had
been with some guy who was actively working a spell. Which he had ended up botching for
him on purpose. He didn't want to know what the small furry thing spell would've done to
him. Since all magic went wonky around him.... Better to be safe than a rabbit.

"Harris?" Xander stood up, walking over to the receptionist, who pointed at a door. "In
there please. Good luck."

"Thanks." He tapped before walking in, trying to seem polite. What he found wasn't what
he had expected. Not the blue person. Not the furry person. Not the other furry person
doing the blonde with the fake breasts. He coughed and didn't look at him. "Are we
rescheduling?" he asked politely.

"No, they're glued together," the other furry person said, looking at him. "You're a
secretary?"

"I can be a secretary. I've taken plenty of messages in my day. I've worked with a
librarian and three girls for years now."

"So, how is Buffy in bed?" the one having sex asked.

Xander coughed again, shaking his head. "Wouldn't know. Not my type. I only draw the
psycho women. Then again I'm dating Anyanka right now. She'd be a bit pissed if I
cheated on her. I don't want to know what she'd do to me if she caught me. Either ask to
join in or curse me."

"Probably both," the blue guy said. "Do you have any problems working with musicians?"

"Depends, is it crappy or good music? Because crappy, I'll need earplugs."

They all laughed. "It's pretty decent. We're in high demand," the blue guy admitted. "We
need a personal assistant. Someone to deal with the money folks, someone to deal with the
mundane, that way we can work our magic in the music."

Xander nodded. "Okay. How much traveling is going to be involved? Weekends, long
tour? I need to know if I need to put stuff in storage." They all stared at him. "Not like I
wouldn't like the vacation from Sunnydale, guys. Anything's better than working with Buffy
this week. She's got PMS."

They all nodded wisely at that. "It's a long tour and we'll be here and there," the blue guy
told him. Xander shrugged. "It'll probably be a few months."

"It happens," Xander agreed. "I remember Oz's band going off for two-three weeks at a
time and they weren't that hot or hip at that point. Am I going with you guys or sitting in an
office."

"No, you'll be going with us. Just to keep the manager off our backs," the guy having sex
said, and the blonde squealed, hitting him on the antenna. "Sorry, her brother." He smiled
sweetly at her. "You know I love you."

"If we ever get this glue off I'm going to kill you."

"If you do it now, you'll have to drag him around?" Xander suggested.

"Exactly." She glared at him. "No looking."

"Not. Really. Like I said, I'm dating Anyanka." She cackled. "Exactly." He looked at the
other guys again. "What sort of pay are we talking, how long is the tour exactly, how much
can I bring with me?"

"Two bags, smallish in size. No weapons. Some of the places we're going that would be a
bad thing."

"Can't I pack a dagger or something?"

"As long as you don't wear it openly we don't care if you magic an arsenal with us. Just
don't let it be caught," the guy having sex offered. "They killed the last one for that.
Thought his pendant was a weapon."

"Cross?"

"Actually, no, blood vial. He was a bit goth. Had to make special arrangements on the bus
for his coffin."

"I'm not that picky. It's a bed," Xander told them, earning smiles. "Pay rate?"

"Fairly decent. Fifteen hundred a month. We'll pay for most of your food most likely.
You're more than free to snack in the green room while we're on stage. Call it quality
control and checking for poisons." Xander nodded at that. "You sure? It's going to be a
long tour."

"Like I said, she's got PMS this week. Her boyfriend just dumped her too. He was one of
the commando idiots. I'd rather be in hell than with Buffy this week. It'll be a nicer spot."

The other furry guy nodded. "Makes sense to me, dude. If you want music you might want
to bring it. Otherwise all you'll get is our stuff over and over again."

"I can pack that. Hell, most of my stuff fits in two bags except for the weapons. How
magically null are the places we're going?"

"A few, very," the guy having sex offered. "A few are highly magical spots. You might feel
a bit sick on them. One's really pure. Lots and lots of virgins who all say no and then pout."

Xander shrugged. "I'm dating Anyanka." They all laughed at that. "Okay. When and
where do I meet you guys?"

"Two days, here," the other furry guy said.

Xander smiled. "I can be here. Thanks, guys. You won't be sorry." He walked out,
heading home to tell his landlord he was moving out and leaving town for a few months. He
packed most everything he needed into the special bag Willow had made for him for his
road trip. The rest went into one of Giles' closets in his spare bag. His former backpack
got his music, comics, notebook, pen, stamps, and shower accessories. Plus his money, car
keys, bank books, and anything else he didn't want Anya to get into. He looked around, then
shrugged. The place was pretty clean. The food in the fridge could be eaten in the next few
days. He went back to Giles' house, going to look in his books.

"What are you looking for?" Giles asked absently. "What did you put in my closet
anyway?"

"My new job's taking me out of town for a few weeks. That's the stuff I'm not taking with
me." That got a grunt. "Blue furry people and everlasting glue that's making him screw
the blonde girl all the time?"

"Red book, third shelf for the glue. Brown book in Hebrew on the fifth shelf for the blue
furry person."

Xander pulled them down, making notes. Then he put them back carefully and gave Giles a
hug. "See you in a few weeks. Don't worry, I'll write when I can. Tell Anya I love her but
if she wants to break it off with me, it's up to her, not my call."

"I'll have Willow put it more tactfully." He waved a hand. "Have a good trip."

"Hopefully." He walked out with the notes, going back to his place. He found Anya there,
pouting at the bag. "Sorry, new job is taking me out of town for a few weeks," he explained.

"Then how am I supposed to get orgasms?"

"Your choices are wait and don't cheat on me or else I have good reason to dump you and
you won't get your powers back, or dump me for that reason and go find someone who'll be
here."

"When will you be back?"

"At least three weeks." She grimaced. "Could be months though. I'm going to be a
secretary for a rock band on tour."

"You'll have easy women around you," she pouted.

"Not like I'll cheat." He gave her a knowing look. "By the way, tell Spike his snoopy
boxers have another hole in them. The washer ate them with my dilbert ones." She blushed
at that. "Your choice, Anya." She stomped off. "That's fine. Have a good life, dear. I'll
miss you while you're gone." He slammed the door and checked his bags. Everything was
still in there. Willow's cloaking spell for the money was still working well. He decided to
take some of his last cash and go buy some other necessities. Batteries for his CD player.
Sodas to take with him for the first part of the trip. Never knew when you could get the
good caffeine or twinkies. Condoms just in case. He heard Anya complaining to Willow up
the street and called her. "Tell Spike she took his boxers home and made them cohabitate
with mine again." He hung up when she started to scream at Anya about how she was
mistreating her Xander. "Huh, she does care." He went back to his place, going to stuff the
new supplies into his backpack. Then he settled in to enjoy his last few hours of freedom
from work. Not that it'd be really hard work but still work. He opened a soda, getting
comfy with his feet up and a library book he needed to return on his way out tomorrow. It
was overdue but they'd forgive him. They were like that in Sunnydale.

***

Xander walked into the room he had interviewed in, finding them in the same places.
"Bored?" he asked, handing over the notes on the glue.

"Man, I love you," the blue guy said. "He figured out what it was." He handed it over. The
guy looked then got up, walking them into another room. A few minutes later she squealed
and he came out alone. "You better?"

"Much. I can have my dick back now." He flopped down with a sigh. "It's great to lose
dead weight. You ready?" Xander pointed at his bags. "I see magic?"

"Willow charmed them before my first road trip to find myself."

"What parts did you find?"

"Stripping in Oxnard is strange and low paying," Xander said bluntly. They all laughed.
"But the good news is that Anya decided to dump me." They all clapped. "So, when do we
go?"

"A few more hours. Bus needed a repair," the guy in the center said.

"That's cool. Can I pronounce your name or does your species not give them out? Anything
I should call you other than hey you?"

"I'm Bob," the blue one said, waving a hand. "The one without the blonde is Curls. The
other is Dick."

"Hey. Use Xander for me. I've heard it a lot, even being screamed at me with the word
'duck'." They all laughed. "Anyone else coming?"

"Nah," Curls said. "Bob's our new drummer. Our last one was the guy who got killed for
wearing jewelry." He looked the kid's comfortable loose jeans and loose t-shirt over.
"That'll do for our needs. The manager's name is Dickwad. Or that's what we call him."

"His real name's Robert, that way you don't get us confused," Dick said with a bright grin.
"We usually call him Fred so no one else gets confused."

"Sure. What's he look like?"

"Four-foot-ten, fat, greedy," Curls told him. "Always onto us to do more dates than we
want. Feel free to stab him anywhere you like but the head. That'll make him explode and
since he does our bookings we can't kill him."

"I can do that." They all smiled. "Any other necessities?"

"If you want more soda, I'd pack it, Xander. It's going to be a *long* time before you see a
minimart."

Xander pointed at the bag on the right. "I've got two cases stuffed in there thanks to Willow
magic."

"I'd go get more than that if you're going to want more than one a week or so," Curls said.
"We can stuff it in the equipment area. Your rep says you like sweets too. I'd get some of
that too." He handed over a credit card. "Here ya go. Go load up, be back in thirty
minutes or less."

"I'll make like Dominos." He headed out, going to the place across the street. Since they
were paying he could even get the good stuff. He even borrowed a shopping cart for a few
minutes, bringing it back well under the thirty minute limit. Twenty cases of soda were all
they had in the store but it should last him for a while. He had also bought out all the
twinkies, all the chocolate brownies, and all the ho-hos, plus about thirty bags of chips.

"I love you," Dick said, grabbing the bag of cheetos. "They have more?"

"About a case."

"Go fetch and carry," he ordered. Xander nodded, heading back that way. "Buy the
suckers out for us," he called after him.

"Sure, anything else?"

"Beer good, dude," Dick yelled.

"Gotcha." He went back across the street, getting an odd look. "The bosses doth call." He
grabbed the cart, just simply pushing all the chips into it. "Got any more cheetos? They're
musicians." She just nodded, going to get the case for him. That and the beer, plus some
salsa for the corn chips and he was done, heading back across the street about as the bus
pulled up. He nearly got ran over. They all ran out and he pointed. "Am I unloading and
where?"

"We'll help. Go get your stuff from upstairs." Xander went to do that, hauling down the
sodas and things by hand, but one of the smaller demons came up to help and it could carry
twenty cases of soda at once, as it proved, so he only had to get his bags and the bag of ho-
hos. He came back down, letting them finish loading. The four-foot-ten human looking guy
stared at him. "That's Xander. He's our assistant," Curls noted. "Deal with him." They
climbed onto the bus, Xander following them. He pointed. "That cubicle is yours. Any
funny noises and we get to laugh. Remember not to crap on the bus if you don't have to, the
drainage system sucks and it stinks." Xander nodded, tossing his bags in without looking.
Then he felt the breeze and looked, giving him an odd look. "No one ever said the bus wasn't
magical," he said with a smug look. "Not like we could live like this." He went to his own
cubicle, sighing as he climbed in. "You'll want to be sitting when we take off, Xander."

"Sure." He found a seat nearer to a window and sat down, watching the smaller demons
stack up on top of each other and the manager stick them into the equipment area. He
noticed one bag was out and pointed, but the manager growled before handing it over.
"They said so."

"I'm sure they did. Make sure Bob eats. He hates the food in Rigerson." He closed the
door. "I'll see you there. Watch out for my boys."

"Of course I will." The bus took off with a bang of the engine, making him blink at the
multi-color stripes flowing past. "Cool Star Trek effects. Almost makes me feel like I got a
contact buzz off the back of Oz's van." Someone laughed so he looked down the hallway.
"Hey, Bob. I rescued the last bag of chocolate."

"I love you already, Xander." He took a brownie, sitting down to nibble. "It's going to be a
pretty cool tour. You'll have tons of stories to tell them when you get back." Xander
grinned at that. "They might not believe them all but that's all right." He patted him on the
back. "You'll get used to it."

"Do the little packing demons always stack?"

"Yeah, that's their thing. It's like cuddling after sex to them. The lifting and toting is the
sex part before you wonder." He ate another bite, nodding. "It'll be two days before we get
to Rigerson. Fair warning, don't eat the green worms. They taste like crap." He got up,
going back to his cubicle. "Settle in, have a nap. We'll call you for dinner."

"Okay." He went to settle into his cubicle, looking around it. It was a lot more spacious
than you'd think. It was also made of green foam for some reason. Like the memory foam
in beds. He crawled in and found it was comfortable. There was a small fountain in there.
He sniffed the water. "Not good. Smells like it's hooked up to the sewer system." He
turned it back around, letting it drain outside the bus apparently. He could feel the breeze
again. He found the window behind some foam and closed it. Then he settled in. He pulled
out a notebook and decided to start a journal. This was a trip that would deserve a tale.

TBC...

Blue guy: Bob
fuzzy one who had been glued: Curls (striped like a tiger under shirt, orange overall), has
antennas.
other fuzzy one: Dick (pale green fuzzy thing)
Manager: Fred, four-ten, stout, looks like a human, is a troll.



Xander woke up to a gentle poke, looking at the guy hanging into his cubicle. "We there yet,
Bob?"

"Just about to land."

"Okay." He got out, stretching first then finishing the soda he had stored in the mini-fridge.
He looked outside, seeing a big city with strangely colored building coming closer. "What's
this place?"

"Our first stop. Remember, don't eat the green worms."

"Not looking forward to any worms," he admitted. "Do I need to help haul and tote or just
play bodyguard and doorstop?"

"Play doorstop once we get into the lounge," Curls said, walking around him. "Can't bring
the soda in, it'll upset the natives." Xander finished it and tossed the can into the recycling
bin. "Good choice." The bus landed with a screech of tires and they looked outside. "Hey,
no groupies, I'm disappointed. Is this our stop?" he yelled, looking up. The door opened
and he leaned out, looking around. "Doesn't look like an arena." He looked at the top of the
bus, staring at the little guy sitting up there. "Where's the arena?"

"Was here," he mumbled.

"Uh-huh." Curls looked around and smiled at a young boy. "Where's the arena this time?
You guys moved it on us and we can't make pretty music without it."

The boy gaped, then drooled in awe. "Left, then up the street. The blonk building. You're
Curls." Curls winked and tossed out a copy of their newest CD, leaning back into the bus.
The door closed and he hooted and squealed, bringing all his friends while the bus moved
off.

Xander looked at hi. "Who's driving the bus?"

"The bus fairy," Dick said, patting him on the back. "Don't worry, he's pretty cool but now
and then he doesn't ask for directions."

"I think we've all had those moments," Xander admitted. "That's how I ended up in
Oxnard instead of somewhere more exotic." He shrugged and grabbed his notebook and
pen, heading off after the guys once they parked again. They made it to the lounge area
after some groupies tried to stop them. The guys handled it with smiles and a lot of signing.
"I'm not supposed to get into that sort of situation, right?" They all shook their heads.
"Good. Happy fans are nice fans who don't stalk." They all nodded at that, lounging in the
back area of the room. He went to check out the courtesy bar, frowning. "What're the
purple things?"

"Worms," Curls said.

"The orange things?"

"Worms," Bob said.

"Are the M&M looking things worms?" Xander asked.

"No, those are M&M's and Bob's," Dick said. Xander walked the bowl over, earning a
grin. "Thanks, man. Anything else besides worms?"

"No but the orange worms look funny."

"Wasn't there something about the orange worms last time?" Bob asked.

Curls put his feet up, considering it. "Not that I remember."

Dick nodded. "Yeah, something about them glowing and times of the year. Something about
ripeness I think." They looked over at the squeak. "Oh, that was it. When they're ripe
they change your gender. Cute look for you, Xander!" He smiled and waved a hand.
"Better you than us, man. Wouldn't want to disappoint the fans again."

"Gee, thanks. Why do I look like a cheap stripper with bad implants?" he demanded,
hands going to his hips, one foot tapping. He realized it and looked down "Oh, hell, I
turned into Stripper-licious Buffy." He walked off in a huff, going to find a native. They all
stared but one giggled. "Not like I knew, guys. Is there an antidote?" They all gave him
confused looks. He wrote it out. They stared in confusion. He wrote it in a common demon
tongue, and one laughed. "Not funny." He glared. He wrote something else out. 'I'm from
Sunnydale. I know witches.' That worked, someone went to find someone to help.

Bob leaned out. "Did you scare our fans?" He held up the paper. "Around here that's a
compliment. Give it a few hours, maybe it'll wear off."

"And I'm supposed to look like a ho until then?"

"Gives us eye candy and a new song to write," Dick called. "We won't ask you for a taste,
dear."

"Gee, thanks. Wouldn't go for it anyway," Xander told them, walking back inside, trying to
make the t-shirt less tight around his chest. Someone peeked around the corner. "Hey,
manager guy."

"The call me Fred, Xander. Ate the orange worm?"

"We forgot what it did," Curls said, jotting down musical notes. "Oops."

"The best advice I can give you is to not eat anything you don't recognize, kid." He came in,
looking him over. "Though you do look very nice." His hair had grown out to shoulder
length and his body was highly anime-style now. The rear view was just as nice too.

"I'm not for sale, Fred."

"Wasn't going to suggest it, but maybe the guys could use you for some promo pictures?"

"We'd get a bad rep if they knew where he was from," Dick said, jotting down more music
on Bob's sheet of paper. Bob swatted at him and crossed it out, going back to his own.
"Mine works better with that bridge."

"Yours sounds like bird tweets, Dick, quit trying to write music for the masses and write it
for the specialty planets." Bob looked over. "We could use a cage dancer." Xander glared
at him so he grinned. "What?"

"I may look like a stripper with bad implants but I'm not a stripper with bad implants. I
still have no rhythm."

"Fine, you sit in here and be courted," Curls agreed. "Fred, how much longer do we
have?"

"Two hours, boys. So, can I talk you into doubling up on this arena?" he asked hopefully.

"They asked me to break arms if you bother them," Xander said dryly, making Fred
snicker. "Think I can't, even in this form?"

"No, you probably can, Xander." He patted him on the head. "The hair needs to grow out
more and then you'll be a really pretty girl."

"I'm not a girl. I never wanted to be a girl and me having girl problems would really suck
since my only information about PMS is Buffy and Willow." He shuddered at that. "So, no,
being a girl won't be good for me. Thanks anyway. How long before it wears off?"

"Few hours," he admitted. "Local time. You boys sure?"

"Break something small on him, Xander," Dick ordered, flicking a hand. "We're writing
our next album." Fred sighed but walked off shaking his head. "Anytime he starts to nag
you have the right to break something small. As long as he can book us dates, sign our
paychecks, and hand over money we're good with him limping or whatever." He flicked a
hand again, going back to his writing. He did glance over at Xander then back to the music
he was working on a few times.

Xander sat down to figure out how to write this one up. Yeah, he was definitely going to
have a *few* stories to tell when he got home. He heard the gong and the guys got up,
making him frown. "Local time is faster?" They nodded, Bob taking most of his M&M's
with him out to the stage. Xander followed along to make sure they weren't bothered on the
way and to hear some of their music. They settled behind their normal looking instruments
and he gaped a few minutes later. He was on tour with the demonic/alternate reality version
of Yanni? He had thought they were a heavy metal band. He checked the crowd, they were
headbanging. It was very odd. He went back to the green room, listening to the music. It
was nice. It was calming, soothing, and then suddenly they switched songs into something
that made him feel a bit hornier. They came back for a clothing change. "When you guys
said you were a heavy metal band last night I was thinking Metallica. Not Zamphir."

Dick snickered, shaking his head. "This is wild and crazy stuff to most demons and realms,
kid. Metallica would make their heads explode. Ricky Martin made some heads explode
when he came here on tour once," he mused, changing his shirt.

"Do you actually listen to Metallica?" Bob asked, popping a few more M&M's.

"Yeah."

"The stuff from before they cut their hair or after?" Dick asked.

"They cut their hair? When?"

"Back in like, the early nineties, dude," Bob said with a smirk.

"Besides the fact I was ten in 1990 and didn't know what a CD was then? I'm an equal
opportunity listener. If I like it, I do."

"Tell me your momma made you listen to classical?" Bob begged.

"Country and Western." They all shuddered.

"You didn't bring any with you, right?" Curls demanded. "Because that's a known cause of
depression across the multi-verse. It's a banned substance in some of them."

"A few things but that's when I'm having a sad music day. They're going to start whining
soon." The band nodded, walking out together.

"We'll make sure you don't have to listen to any of the sad stuff, Xander. That way we don't
get banned too," Curls called as he walked up the hallway. Fred was pacing. "Sorry,
Xander compared us to Zamphir."

"It's a great compliment. They're getting restless."

They went back out there and the crowd went nuts, shouting one of their newest hit, which
made them smile and rock into that song next instead of their planned one.

***

Xander followed the guys back onto the bus, staring down at his chest. "At least they're
starting to shrink," he muttered. Dick kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks, dear. You do
know our species are not compatible?"

"Yeah but you needed a kiss for that compliment earlier." Xander looked confused.
"Zamphir is *huge* on our circuit. He's a heavy metal rock god on our circuit." He
beamed. "Have fun with them. You should get to enjoy having the boobs of doom for a few
more hours. We'll land in our next city tomorrow sometime." He headed for his cubicle,
turning on some music in there.

Xander got into his own cubicle with his newest soda, settling in to stare at his adjusted body
once he was naked. He could see a hint of his penis starting to come back so he decided to
play with his breasts for a while. Not like he was going to get groupies on the tour so he
might as well make the most of it.

TBC...

Bob tapped on Xander's curtain, leaning in when he grunted. "Here, you have to take this."

"Aspirin?"

"No, Transform-Oh's. Our next place is a four-footed place."

"No human leash holders?"

"Leashes are for criminals and nothing on two feet." He held out the small, lurid green pill
again. "It'll wear off in a few hours."

"If you say so. How do you guys play your instruments?"

"We have a paw-enabled set. The same as we have one for the underwater arena in a few
stops." He grinned. "Doing this early means you've got time to get used to having four feet
and to pee standing up." He walked off.

Xander looked at the pill then took it with the last sip of his present can of soda. He
watched as fur sprouted and he shrunk down to look like a bright green cat with navy blue
stripes. "Interesting." He realized he was speaking with his normal voice so it was all
right. He hopped down to wander around. "Will I need to take another one later?"

"Double his dose now," Bob called. "If it wears off they can lynch him." He came out of
the bathroom, getting Xander a second dose. "Here, it shouldn't change how you look. But
cute colors." He walked off, going to take his own. His blue skin turned into purple fur but
he looked more canine. The other two simply took off their clothes. Curls' orange fur
turned out to be tiger stripped under his clothes. His antenna were bobbing along as he
bopped his head with the music on his headset. Dick took off his clothes to become light
green and furry all over except a spot on his stomach. Bob looked at him. "You're
shedding?"

"My girl went into heat before we left. She nibbled it off." He stroked over the bare spot.
"It'll be fine. The keyboards hide it." He stretched out and looked down at Xander. "Cute
markings. They're not usual so you might even get some chicks this time, Xander." He
went back to his cubicle, going to brush himself.

Xander looked at Bob. "Why am I the only one that shrunk?"

"Human heritage. It does it to all you pure vein types." Xander gave him a confused look.
"Through the multi-verse you guys are known for having a reputation for only liking your
own type."

"Most humans think we're the only type."

"Yeah, that's the other problem," Dick offered as he came back to join them. "We'll get
asked during at least one interview. If you do, tell them you live in a mixed town and leave
off the hunting stuff. 'Kay?"

"Sure, but I only hunt the deadly things, like vampires and others trying to eat us."

"That won't go over well when we're on a vampire heavy realm and then we'll get stoned,"
Dick told him.

"Okay, I won't mention it. What if they ask about Buffy?"

"Say it's your brother or something. Not like they'll check." He shrugged, going back to his
bunk. "Should we triple dose him? It wears off after four hours and we'll be there nine."

"No, a triple dose together equals a permanent transformation," Bob reminded him.

"I'd rather not have the girls only like me for a lap snuggle," Xander agreed. "I'll start to
shed before I change back?"

"We'll make sure you take another dose when we come off for a break or have Fred
nearby," Curls called. "Don't stress or you'll shed and it'll make you wanna take a kitty
bath, Xander. No matter how cute it is, you'd hate hairballs."

"You should know," Bob shot back with an evil smirk.

"Just for that I'm taking that off the roster tonight," Curls said, smirking back. Bob
pouted.

"Guys, no fighting or I'm withholding the soda tonight," Xander said, hopping up onto the
back of a chair to look at them both. "Remember, you can always kiss and make up but
breaking up is bad for the band."

"Nah, I'd flip him over, prove I was the better musician," Curls said with a smirk for him.
"No breaking up here, Xander. Relax."

"Okay." He yawned. "Why do I want a nap? I just woke up."

"It's the form's imperative," Bob said, stroking down his back until he fell asleep on the
back of the chair. He shrugged. "If you do, they'll howl."

"Maybe. Then again I did get the new one up. Scratch Me needs to be field tested." Bob
smiled at that, coming over to grab the sheet music so he could go over it with Dick. Curls
kicked back, looking very smug. Xander was good for them.

***

Xander looked up from his reading when Fred rushed in and pulled out the first aid box.
"They okay?"

"Someone tried to jump onto the stage and missed, landing on a stage light." He hurried out
to take care of it.

Xander went back to his quiet reading, blinking when things started to look distorted. He
grabbed for the pill the guys had left him but paws don't grab that well. He hopped down to
grab it from under the table, bumping his suddenly human head on it when he tried to back
out. He swallowed the pill dry, gagging at the taste, but he was on the change back when the
door opened and Fred came back. "They good?"

"She's fine." He stared at him. "Took the last dose?"

"Yeah, I switched back."

"Thanks, kid, don't need my boys stoned to death."

Xander shrugged. "Being a cat isn't as bad as Oz had it when he changed I guess."

"Probably true." He walked out, going back to guarding the door from groupies. There
was a very aggressive tom out there who wanted to test drive Xander's tail. Even pointing
out he had changed over to respect local customs hadn't helped. He moved to help Curls
when he tripped.

Xander looked over as the door opened, nodding at the cat. "Hey."

"You are not one of us." He sniffed. "Purity monitor?"

"Not hardly." He gave him an odd look. "I've roomied with vampires in the past. I'm
dating a vengeance demon." The tom sniffed again then purred, coming over to sniff closer.
"Um, what are you doing?"

"You are an unaffiliated tom in my lands, boy. You should know better than that."

"I'm here working. Get off my tail." He moved his tail away, glaring. "Don't make me
hiss."

"You couldn't work up a good hiss if you wanted to," the other tom sneered.

Xander looked at his claws, then at him. "Oh, really?"

"Boys!" Bob yelled as he came in. "Out! He's our tom!" The local one huffed off. "You let
in a groupie?"

"No, the groupie snuck in and tried for my tail. I don't think I want to experience gay kitty
sex today."

"There's some cute females," Curls offered. "We've got an after party."

"I just had to take a third dose."

"We'll make sure you get the next one too," Bob said, changing straps around his chest.
The other two headed back out after him, all of them glaring at Fred. "You nearly got our
assistant claimed?" He groaned, going to make sure the tom wasn't back again. They went
back onto stage, listening to the thundering howls that rocked the stadium.

Fred looked in, finding Xander on top of the other tom. "Comfy?"

"He tried to bite my tail. I am not up for gay kitty sex today." He looked at the struggling
tom, licking his ears to calm him down. "Technically I'm housing a hyena spirit I got
possessed with in tenth grade." The tom looked back at him, giving him an odd look. He
nodded. "I live in Sunnydale."

"I'm so sorry. You roomed with vampires?"

"Yeah, Spike. He was staying with someone else and their girlfriend came over so I kinda
got him shoved at me. He's a bad roomie too. Had to keep him tied to a recliner for days."
He licked his ears again, letting the cat calm down.

"You know that Buffy creature?"

"My sibling does."

"Pity."

"At least she only goes after the hunters."

"What right does she have?"

Xander looked down at him. "The same one that's keeping her from being bitten. They're
insane there. We had an ascension during graduation." He nuzzled his ears again, getting a
light purr. "Now, if I release you will you leave my cute tail alone?"

"I should still claim you so others won't try."

Xander stared down into his eyes from overtop of his head. "Let them try." The cat
laughed so he got off him, watching him trot out. He shook his head, looking at Fred. "That
good?"

"That's fine," he agreed, smiling at him. "Spike's rep might be trashed."

Xander shrugged. "We'll all be happier when he gets that stupid chip out and goes back to
his normal self. It's harming what he is and it's unnatural to see a vampire who can't hunt.
Besides, he makes me miserable when I have to room with him." That got a knowing smile.
"It does! He steals my cereal to put blood in."

"Spike was always a bit odd. That whole family is like that."

"I know. Buffy dated Angel. Met Dru a few times." Fred shuddered. "If we run into her,
I can hide, right?" He nodded. "Thank you." He settled down to nap on his book, waiting
on the guys to get back. Fred made sure he got his next pill on time and the after party was
a hoot. He got to talk to a lot of interesting demons or whatever. He had one female that
kept nuzzling him until he let her drag him off for some kitty mating. It wasn't quite as fun
as doing it as a human. He couldn't grope this way. He finally got off and she settled in to
nuzzle him then ran off when her watch went off. He strolled back to the party, letting Fred
pick him up. "Was I late? Where's my book?"

"Bob picked it up already." He tossed him onto the bus. "Stay in there. She came with a
tom." He closed the door, going to encourage the other boys to leave now.

Curls came back onto the bus, petting him. "Did you get a pretty kitty?" he teased.

"Yeah but Fred said she came with someone. She scampered off when her watch went off."

"Those are fertility monitors," Curls told him. "It means you caught her at the right spot,
no kittens." He grabbed a soda, handing over a small bowl of it. "Drink that once we take
off. The caffeine will make it end faster."

"Thanks, Curls."

"Welcome. Feel better?"

"Not really. I like to grope and I couldn't with her. No breasts, nothing like that."

"Needed the orange worms?" Dick teased.

"No, then I might've had to give it up to the tom earlier." They laughed. "Not kidding!" he
complained. "I'm not really into gay kitty sex today. I'm not sure I want to know if it hurts
or not either." They all grinned and the bus took off so he drank his soda down, stretching
when he came back to human. Naked human. But human. "Where's my clothes?" he
complained, heading for his bunk so he could put on something.

"Probably at the laundry in the back of the bus," Bob said, patting him on the back. "Good
to have you back, Xander. I put your book on the usual table. This one's going to be a
bumpy road so climb in and ride it out. Don't puke on it. The foam will smell forever if you
do that." Xander nodded, getting in there with another two sodas and something for his
stomach if it got upset, going to write down the details and his impressions of being a green
kitty with navy stripes. It had been...odd. He definitely did not want to taste his fur that
way again. He coughed, then drank another soda. "Coke eats rust, it'll eat furballs," he
said grimly. The bus lurched, making him drink more of it so it wouldn't spill. This was
definitely a bumpy road to wherever this time.

TBC...

Xander got woke up by a poke to the side. "What's wrong?" he asked Dick.

"New set of Transform-Oh's."

"Why?"

"We're going to a stone plane."

"Okay. Double dose or will these not wear off as fast?"

"No, these last longer on you guys." Xander took the pills and he watched him change. He
blinked. "Huh. Hey, Curls?" he called. He came over, looking at the inanimate statue
Xander had turned into. "Is it supposed to do that to humans?"

"No." He frowned, taking the bottle to read over. "Here, fine print. If he's been feeding
vampires it'll do that. So maybe he'll be a stage prop for that one number? We could use
one. Bob likes to rub against something."

"I like to do what?" Bob asked as he joined them. "Hey, he's been feeding Spike after all."
He leaned down. "Xander, if you can hear us, you'll be fine and it'll wear off by tomorrow
but you're going to be a stage prop tonight, okay?" He walked off humming the new song he
was working on. "Maybe we should think about a double album this time, guys. We're
getting a lot of songs out of having Xander with us."

"Maybe," Curls agreed, going back to his own cubicle to finish what he was working on.
They'd vote later to see what was going on the next album.

Dick tucked Xander in. "It'll be all right, Xander. Just remember when you change back
you'll want to be in the bathroom. I'll try to remember to stick you in there after we're done
with you tonight." He walked off, going back to his own cubicle to practice the last piece of
new music they had written.

Xander laid there, still aware of what was going on. Things were starting to get a bit freaky
for his tastes. He could stand being a woman. He could stand being a kitty. After all,
Willow had done those sort of things in the past. Not always to him but she had done them.
Oz had made a pretty girl. But he already really had to pee. He had just been woken up
after all. And it'd be a day before he could go again? Not making for a happy Xander at
the moment. He looked down, trying to yell. Something was still working right. He was
getting his usual morning stiffie. What came out was a mumble but Dick came back. He
stared then just nodded and went to get some of the moving demons to put him into the
bathroom. One even held him at the right height.

"Guys, they didn't fully work on Xander!" he called as he walked back to his space. "We
may need to watch out for sudden transformations." He got back into bed. When Xander
was done peeing, or weeping and dripping as the case may be, he'd be put back into bed.
The little moving demons were great that way.

***

Xander stared down at Bob as he got nuzzled and rubbed against while he worked on his
synthesizer drums. This was definitely the oddest stop to date. He felt himself turning back
and apparently Bob did too, he nodded at Curls, who transferred into another song and they
danced and sang around him, talking about an idol coming to life. He finished becoming
mobile, small pieces of stone falling off as he moved. It fit with the song. Bob suddenly
kissed him and then blinked at the stage exit, getting him going that way. He stumbled
some but the crowd went wild. That's when he realized they had seen a naked rear end.

"That was very risque," Fred the manager complained.

Xander looked at him. "I was a statue," he mumbled. "Not my fault." He headed for the
bathroom, unable to hold it anymore. He sighed in relief as he peed for real. Then he
looked down at himself. He was fully back to human but naked. "Fred?" he called.
"Where do my clothes keep going?"

"Into the wash, kid." He tossed him a towel and a small blue pill. "Here, turn furry."

"Gee, thanks." He took it and shrank back into his cat form, curling up in a chair until the
guys got there.

"Xander, they loved that, man!" Curls said, picking him up to cuddle him. "You were so
hot out there! You followed the cues beautifully, man!" He gave him a cuddle, keeping him
to pet for a few minutes.

Bob looked. "You okay?"

"A bit stiff in the knee/elbow joints," Xander admitted. "But I came out naked yet again.
Those Transform-Oh's are mean to my poor clothes."

"We'll buy you new stuff," Bob assured him, grinning as he petted him. "Good Xander
kitty." He giggled and went to pounce Fred. "Thanks for booking us here, Fred, they loved
the new stuff."

"I'm loving the new stuff. The kid's good for you." He checked his watch. "Onto the bus,
guys."

"After party?" Xander asked. Fred glared at him. "They had a stressful day hauling me
around. I'm going to head back to the bus but they should be able to have some new fun. It
gives them ideas."

"That's what I'm worried about," he said grimly. "Fine. Go, boys." He handed one of the
packing and hauling demons Xander. "Put him back onto the bus. That's Xander." The
demon nodded, carrying him out there. He got tossed onto the bus and they went back to
putting up the instruments while the band played with their fans.

***

Xander woke up human and still naked but fortunately he had clothes in his bag. He slid
into them, coming out of his cubicle. "Guys? Aren't we supposed to be heading?" he called.
Fred stomped back on. "I thought I slept longer than that."

"You did. They're still partying with the stones."

"As in Rolling Stones or just the *stones*."

"No, the local stones. The Rolling Stones would never be allowed here. They don't play well
to this audience. Jagger insulted one Mayor's daughter by not sleeping with her or
something decades ago."

Xander looked at the button on the console up front. "This one to call Bob?"

"That's for emergencies."

Xander looked at him. "Make me a kitty, I'll go fetch and haul."

"Thanks, kid. Knew I could count on you." He handed him another pill once he was naked,
tossing his clothes back into his cubicle.

Xander climbed off the bus and let one of the locals lead him where he needed to go. He
held up his band pass at the door, getting an odd look. "Their manager sent me to gather
and report back to the bus, dude. I'm their assistant."

"Why are you furry? I heard you were human."

"Because I don't want to insult anyone by being human."

"That's not a bad idea." He let him inside.

Xander paused once he was inside so he could look around, then he headed for Curls' lap.
He hopped up into it, staring at him until he quit chatting with the blonde next to him and
looked down, grinning at him. He even got a few ear scratches. "Fred's having kittens."

"That's a good one coming from you, Xan," he said with a grin.

"Um, schedule kittens."

He checked his watch. "Oops. Hey, Dick, Fred's having kittens so he sent Xander."

Dick looked at the cat, waving and smiling. "Give me ten more. Find Bob."

Xander hopped down, tracking him by scent. It was going to drive him nuts. He had spent
enough time as a cat that he knew their scents. He found Bob in a bedroom and blatantly
walked in, hopping up onto the bed then onto his back, staring down at him until he looked
back. "Fred's having kittens."

"Literally?"

"Not yet. Soon though. I got told to come summon you back to the bus."

"He couldn't call?"

"He's not that far into an emergency. Make her squeal." He hopped down, heading back to
find the other two. They were already gone so he went to the door. "'Scuse me, can you
please open the door for me?" he called. The guard looked down then nodded, letting him
out. "Thanks, man." He headed back to the bus, finding the doors closed. "Let me on,
guys!" he called. The bus started to move and he muttered something, glaring at it as it
started to float. "You take off without me and I'm calling Willow!" He was transported
into the bus, Bob next to him. "Looks like Fred got his way."

"Apparently." He looked at Fred. "You summoned us?"

"Yes!" he said firmly. "The Queen's coming."

"Like the holy royalty or the remaining band members of Queen?" Xander asked.

"They play well with the elves," Fred told him. "Sorry but the Queen hates us, hates furry
things. And don't call Willow." He disappeared.

Xander looked up at Bob. "They were going to leave without me. Of course I threatened to
call her."

Bob petted him. "She'd freak. Unless she's a groupie?"

"She's never heard of you guys. She likes mystical new agy stuff."

"Pity. Thanks for the warning, Xander."

"If he hadn't been about to pace I would've let you make her squeal in a higher pitch too.
Sorry to interrupt."

"Nah, it was better in that case. Less chance of accidents. Where are we going next?" he
called as he walked back to the back of the bus.

"DeHydrin," Curls called. "Did we get Xander?"

"Yeah, I've got him. Fred summoned us both. The Queen's coming."

Curls got out and tapped on the roof of the bus. "Let's go before we have another incident
with She Who Barks," he called. The bus took off at it's normal zoom. "Thanks for the
warning, Xander."

"I didn't know that, just that he was having kittens." He hopped into his cubicle. "See you
guys in the morning."

"You too," Bob agreed, going to sit with Dick. "You good?" He held up the bag. "Should
we have that?"

"I might like some later," he said, tucking it under his pillow. "It's only Dream Weed."

"At least it's not a banned thing, like Meth." Curls looked out at him. "He got some Dream
Weed."

"I want some," he pouted.

"After we get done with the watery place I can't pronounce," Dick promised. That got a
grin and a nod. "Wanna take a vote now on the music we have?"

"Sure," Bob agreed, going to get his. "I've only got three finished."

"I've had tons of stuff done," Curls said, bringing his back to Dick's cubicle. They climbed
in together to get to work weeding out their next album. There were a few spots along the
way they could do some recording so it got done faster.

Xander peeked out. "Do I need to get up early and take pills at the next place?"

"No, next time it'll be mechanical," Curls said absently.

"Okay." He went back to his journal. Writing with paws was very strange but he was
finding he could do it. His handwriting sucked, but.... Oh well! He was on tour with the
band.

TBC...