New Locations, New Horrors.




The woman walked out of the airport being all huffy. Her boyfriend of the moment had dumped her and cashed her ticket out. So she was stranded and had no idea of what she was going to do now. She huffed and cast a tracking spell for anyone who knew her. At least she could bum a couch or something, maybe even get some better-than-that-last-one's sex. She found one large spike and smiled. "Xander," she said. She went to find him. He'd pay her back for the rental car fees. He was like that. He took care of his pack and she was one of his pack bitches. She finally found him and snuck into the house. He was meditating and staying calm so was ignoring her. She settled in front of him, running a hand over his wrist.

"You tried to steal from me, Anya."

"I was protecting most of it but I needed storage fees."

He stared at her, giving her an unimpressed look. "Really?" She grinned. "Not cute."

"I can help that tumor."

"I have a spell to remove it but I was warned not to do it alone."

"We can do it together."

"That would mean me pulling you out of your body."

"Um...why?"

"It's easier for me to do on the astral plane where I can see the damn thing." He stared at her. "Why else are you here?"

"The last boyfriend wasn't worthy of me." She waved a hand with a smile. "So I came to check on you for everyone."

He snorted, shaking his head. "You can help with the spell. It's in the notebook." He pointed at the spiral bound notebook.

"You should write spells in better books, Xander. They deserve the respect."

"That's what I had when I found a copy of it, Anya. It's not like I really do magic." He stared at her. "While we're doing this, you have to concentrate on only that."

"I know how to do magic," she snorted.

"Seriously, Anya. You could set off one of the wishes I'm owed and it'd screw things up worse than Rosenburg did."

"I heard about her and the soulmate thing."

"And something in it needs to be fixed because if you found them before the markings appeared it won't appear."

"Oh. That could suck, yeah. Fine, I'll keep any thoughts to myself."

"Thank you. Your boss almost prompted me to make the alpha setup happen." She moaned and shifted. "That'd mean some day there'd be males who could get pregnant naturally, Anya. Ones who go into heat like dogs. I'm not doing that to my fellow man."

"That would be exciting though. Alphas would be much more hardy and rough."

He stared at her. "I wasn't that kind to you either." She slumped. "And yeah, that would mean you and Cordy if she descended would be my pack bitches." She moaned, getting off at that thought. "Clearer now?"

"Yes." She read over the spell. "It doesn't specify tumors." He turned the page so she could see the updated one. "That's a good rewording." They joined hands and he pulled her onto the astral plane with him. "That's very intimate. More so than doing spells with me, Xander."

"Sorry. I didn't realize that." He found the portal with the picture of his brain tumor. "Here it is." She came over, grimacing at it. "Yeah. They dosed me a second time." He felt something going on near his body and looked at her. "Do the spell. Let me go stop the person that's going to kill us." He disappeared and came up, kicking that guy around. He picked up the guy's gun and used it on him and the vampire in the kitchen. He sent a text message to Steve and went down to do that again. "Okay, we're safe for now."

She stared at him. "You used to be tougher." He pointed at the tumor's picture. "I get that." They went over the spell and she cast it, taking out all the 'wrong' cells in his brain. His liver still had a problem and she cast it again, getting those. A few other cells were starting off so she removed them too. He shivered and sat down holding his head. She ended the spell, sending them back to their bodies. She blinked at the man standing there. "Hi. Do we know you?"

"Xander said someone tried ta come kill you two," Danny said, staring at her.

She smiled. "He handled it. My former pookie is very good at that stuff."

"Sure. He good? He was warned not to do that spell without help. It'd cause bleeding."

She looked then found her phone. No minutes. She grabbed his phone, getting onto the spell website she used. "There, a healing spell." She cast it on Xander and he moaned but passed out. "There, that should help." She grinned. "You're adorable."

"Still healing from a bitch who divorced me," he said. "Get him to bed so he can rest and we can remove these two."

"The vampire's not dust?"

He looked. "I see a pile of dust but I got the one sneaking around the house on my way in." She got up and he hauled Xander up, putting him to bed. He called for a pickup of two B&E suspects who had been harmed by the homeowner. He did not listen to Anya nagging him about her sex life coming back soon. He didn't want to know.

***

Cordelia smiled and went to prompt Rosenburg. "Hey." Willow gave her a sullen, pouty look. "Two things, Willow. You left a clause in the soulmate thing. If they had touched him before the wish went off, the mark will never come up." Willow huffed but moved. She put a hand on Willow's arm. "Also, Anya just healed him. We think it won't come back without being redosed with the serum."

"I can make sure the serum won't work," she said.

"That would increase his demon taint and he'd be hunted by the same beings. Can't really call them human."

Willow considered it. "I can fix that."

"Just don't make him immortal or the PTB are going to have huge fits and kill you and Buffy. They're already wanting to send an asteroid crashing down." She gave her a pointed look then disappeared to check on him. She ran a hand over Xander's head. "Good work, Anya." She looked at her. "You got it all." Anya grinned. "Willow's fixing her soulmate clause and trying to do something so the healing doesn't make him immortal."

"I didn't use that spell."

"She would," Cordelia quipped. "The PTB are ready to have an asteroid hit the town."

Xander blinked up at her. "I can open the hellmouth." Cordelia moaned, shaking her head. "Yeah, I can. It loves me. A ton."

"Bad idea, Xander."

"Did she manage to not set off those waiting wishes?"

"They weren't set off." She patted him on the head. "It'll be okay." She faded out.

Xander looked at her. "I have rune wards up around the property. They have to actually walk onto it to get me."

"That's a very good idea. I wanted them back in Sunnydale but they never worked." She stripped off. "Are you strong enough to take a shower on your own?"

"Yeah but no sex." He groaned as he sat up. "I'm not strong enough for sex yet."

"Fine. If I must I can hold out for a few days. I have a vibrator in my bag." She helped him into the shower, letting him hose off the sweat. When they got out, he went to warm up soup for them. He had learned how to cook somewhere. "That's good." He grinned and they ate then went back to resting. It was going to be weeks before he was back up to normal Xander strength.

***

Xander texted Steve a few weeks later. Steve, who was hosting a poker game at his home, looked at his phone. "Please save me," he read. He checked, that was all the message. Then another one came in. "Anya."

"Yeah, she was there when I was getting those last two assassins," Danny told him. Another email message.

"Sorry, I'm using voice to text and she's demanding. One guy who got hooked on me when I was stripping is locked in the indoor safe room, key's on the entry pad, and I can't get up due to Anya being energetic." Steve called him, not getting an answer. He looked at the other guys, who all smirked at him. "You guys need to meet Xander," he said. He looked at Danny.

"She was there helping him cure the tumor with magical stuff," Danny said. "I heard her say she could hold off on sex until Xander was stronger because she had packed a vibrator."

Steve sighed, sending back a text message that he'd get the idiot in the safe room in a few minutes. He was in the middle of a poker game. He got back one from clearly someone else. "Oh, Anya said that's fine, to take my time because she's only gotten three orgasms tonight so far and he's not fully tired yet." He groaned. "This is going to be weird."

Danny ate a chip, staring at him. "I say we let Kono get whoever they captured for trying to kill them."

"Why are you mad at Kono?" Steve asked him. "She's been nice all week, Dano."

"Yeah but she could learn about women like that. Most guys meet at least one in their lives. Plus she's closer than we are."

"She's out in the mountains," Steve reminded him, anteing into the current hand. "Or else I might consider it. I'm wondering if it's an arms dealer former friend or the serial killer that wanted Xander to be his helper and protege."

The other guys stared at him. "Why would he know about those sort?" one demanded.

"Xander's car got attacked on his way out for a post-graduation road trip. He ended up stripping. Xander has an unnatural draw for people who are still semi-decent but dangerous and deadly. He told me and Kono both we're too nice and not deadly enough." The group moaned.

"He appreciates Kono's badass," Danny told them. "And likes that about her, but he said she's not dangerous enough for one of his. Of course, this was the day that we picked up assassins he brought in because he was tired of having them in a closet."

"Brah, he needs help," Chin said. "A lot of help. If that tumor's really gone, we can introduce him to nice people once he's back in shape."

"He told me once he never used a gym to gain muscles and stamina. He had hunted, then dated Anya and worked construction at the same time." Chin looked at him. "Seriously."

"The guy hadn't been eating," Danny told the group. "He's getting better now that they magiced the brain tumor out."

"I heard that he gave it to his doc here, who shared with the other ones over his case," Steve said. "The guy was freaked out but happy that they had removed it safely. The scans came out great. He sent me a candybar in thanks for the help." Steve tossed down two cards, getting them exchanged. "Don't mention any military service around him, people. The army gave him the first tumor on purpose." He looked at the group. "A special project he got help to take out and down for torture and other less pleasant things."

"He's from that town where that evil point of power is," Danny added. "Born and raised there. Never got to leave until that trip and then cancer treatment and a coma in LA."

"That's too weird for me," Chin said. "Though he's nice enough. He's a funny, slightly charming young guy and he's nice. But deadly if you try him. He's also our demon problem fixing person. He only handles problems but if there's one hunting people you call him."

"I'll get his number for people," Steve agreed. "I have it and so does Danny." His phone rang again. "Great, he got a second one and Anya's huffy that he had to lock the guy in the bathroom." He sighed. They wrapped up the hand and he took Danny and Chin to gather the two problem people. He knocked, no answer. He jimmied the door open and walked in. Anya was squealing loudly.

"He has great soundproofing, you couldn't hear her outside," Danny quipped. He walked into the bedroom to find Xander nearly unconscious and her using him like he's a sex toy. "Hey, Anya, where's the guys he needed removed?"

"In the bathroom," she said with a point. "And one in the safe room up the hallway by the kitchen."

"Anya, we'll need a statement from him so get off him for now," Steve said, not looking at them. "We'll need him to be awake."

"Let me nap," Xander moaned. "She won't."

"You need to regrow that stamina, Xander. You used to be able to go for hours longer."

He stared at her. "I couldn't keep food down for almost a month. I lost sixty pounds I couldn't really afford."

"So?" she demanded. "You're cutting down on my nookie."

"Keep it up, I'll apply an impotence spell."

"Fine!" She got off him. "See, he's fine!"

Danny looked at her. Then at the kid. Then back at her. "Anya, let him get some rest. You'll send him back to the hospital and they won't let him have any sex for weeks. You have to rebuild stamina like that slowly. It could be a year before he's fully back." She pouted. "Sorry but truth." He went to get the guy out of the bathroom. The guy was pouting. "Why were you trying to take out Xander?" he asked impatiently.

"I wasn't. I want Xander. He used to be really good at all that stuff. Now he's weaker."

"He's just getting over his second brain tumor," Danny said dryly. "It's gonna take a while." He stared at the guy until he slumped down again. "You're going to be in jail by then anyway." He pulled out his cuffs to get the guy and hike him out to the cruiser they had brought with them.

Steve found the safe room and the keycard on the access panel. He used it and put it back into place, walking in to arrest the two guys and a girl in there. "Why are you upsetting this homeowner?"

"He shouldn't be here. Things like him should be somewhere else."

"He's a human. Shut up." He hauled her out and cuffed her, taking the keycard from her to put back. Chin took her while Steve got the guys. Steve looked in that room then sighed and left it alone. There weren't any open weapons, just survival supplies. "Only the two, Xander?" He nodded, thumping his head back down. "Want some water?"

"Please," he begged. "I'm exhausted."

Anya huffed. "You're not any better than anyone else, Xander."

He glared at her. "Fuck you."

"That's what I was trying to do."

He snorted. "I told you I'm not doing anything like oral sex until you get a test saying you're not full of someone's diseases. You can drive enough to find the local health department. Until then there's condoms and all that good stuff. Not that I can get you pregnant." She shuddered, moving away from him. "Unless you undoing Willow's last helping moment left me fertile again. The chemo killed it before then." He sat up and got the water from Steve. "Thank you. I needed it."

"Yeah, it looks like you're still losing weight." He looked at Anya. "He has to eat to regain all that he was."

"I don't cook beyond what we had when I was married to a Viking. He does better than I do. He won't let me order takeout."

"Not like I've been working, Anya," he shot back. "Sorry but I was too weak to swing a hammer."

She pouted. "That's bad, Xander. I'll have to leave you if you don't get better faster."

He stared at her. "Year," he said slowly and clearly. "It'll be a year." She pouted and stomped off, getting dressed and huffing off. "Leave my wallet, woman! If I have to summon it back I'll be doing the magic myself." It and his phone got tossed into the bedroom then she huffed off again. He checked his wallet. "Two hundred but all I had in the house." He tossed it down. "Thank you for the saving from her."

Steve nodded. "You need better taste."

"No one else wanted to date me."

"Maybe you'll find someone nice as you get better." He patted him on the shoulder and left. "As he gets better, he'll get out to try to date."

Danny nodded. "We can introduce him to some people. Kono has a lot of single friends too."

"Thanks," Xander called. He leaned out. "Did you get the traps by the fence? The alarm system said someone tripped it." He pointed. "And they're bear traps."

Steve went to look, hauling back a crying, begging woman. "Know her, kid?"

"No. Not in the least." He shrugged and went back to bed. He seriously needed a nap. Anya had worn him out more than the cancer had.

Steve let the officer take her and they went back to their nights off.

Danny looked at Chin. "If I *ever* date a woman like Anya, smack some sense into me."

"Gladly, brah. Do the same for me please."

"Definitely." They followed Steve back to the cars.

Steve looked at them. "I'll let Grace have them. She's got sense and can make someone like Anya huff off."

"If not, her mother sure could," Danny agreed. Steve smirked at him but they weren't going to date Anya anyway. They hoped she was *real* unique. The world didn't need more of her.

***

Steve showed up a few days later, staring at Xander, who was giving him curious looks. "What?" he finally asked.

"Anya found a rich friend. They were caught on the news."

"That's good for her. Though she'll hate being a girlfriend. She thinks that wastes time. It's how I broke her pretending to be my heir while I was in the coma."

"That's good. Well, not really *good* but good for her I guess." Xander grinned at him. "You dated an arms dealer."

"Yeah, I was getting stuff for the upcoming battle."

"It's in ten months."

"Not that one." Steve glared at him. "Not my fault."

"Uh-huh. Where is it?"

"We were talking about discounts and how much I could work off the price. He wanted less than I did so we're pretty well screwed unless the military steps into St. Louis."

"I can let someone know if you know details." Xander got up and dug out his notebook, handing it over. "Vision?"

"Yeah."

"Real one or astral plane portal?"

"Real. There's a chance I'm wrong or they'll change it."

"I'll let them know. We get tips like that a lot." He tucked it into his back pocket. "Beyond that, I got asked to check for more weapons. The governor heard you were here."

"Did I date them?"

"I'd hope not but they're paranoid."

Xander grinned. "Yeah, don't care. I need stuff that can help when something happens, like that sea monster later."

"We have a sea monster later?"

"Yeah, I heard it was coming." He shrugged. "It's mostly peaceful but we'll need to drive it off before the panicking tourists start to fire on it and we have to put it out of its misery."

"Which beach?"

"That I don't know. I was going to drive down that way and hope that someone lets me know."

"There's a lot of beaches."

"It's not really crowded so not near downtown."

"That's narrowing it down to about ten in the nearest twenty miles," Steve said dryly.

"Oh. I didn't get to really go exploring yet."

"We'll get you a map."

"Thank you." He grinned.

"Are you still helping people out of their bodies?"

"Yeah. It might help when we get hit with a demon plague, having someone who can come back."

Steve stared at him. "How long on that?"

"Don't know but it's not really close. I'm guessing a few years since bell bottoms and mom jeans were apparently fashionable by what people were wearing."

"I have no idea how to tell that timing."

"I'll be watching harder when they start to come back into fashion. The girls taught me how to watch that stuff."

Steve shook his head with a sigh. "Not really practical."

"Well, unless it comes with a look at a calendar or a watch with a calendar function...."

"Point." He stared at him. "More weapons?"

"No. Those are expensive and I'm not working. Ya know, that stuff that disgusted Anya along with my lack of stamina?"

"I remember." He stared at him. "Are you going to be starting to work soon?"

"I'm hoping that the doctor approves me to drive again next week during my next checkup."

"How long has that been going on?"

"Months but I'm stubborn and I only did it when I was reasonably sure I was safe."

"Uh-huh." He stared at him. "Thankfully I'm not the officer that would arrest you for that like Danny would." He shifted his weight. "What about those shrunken boxes?"

"Still tiny and unuseable."

"Nothing else beyond your guns?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I don't think anyone left me a present. I know the demon I had to burn in the yard yesterday didn't."

Steve blinked. "Why?"

"Wolfram and Hart think I'm subversive or something. The word that means I show people how to get around their wanted issues."

"Subversive works in that case. They have a price on your head? How many are there?"

"Them, a few cults that worship the PTB, the Council. Maybe a few individual demons for stopping their bad ideas. One that wanted to kill Danny but couldn't because he was partially ascended and that's a holy state to them. I just taught him so I'm fair game. And the ascended who think they want to control me and I'm not going to let them. They keep saying they can keep anyone from ascending but not really. That's up to the person not them."

Steve rubbed his head while staring at him. "Can we go over all those threats?"

"Maybe. I only know what's been on there thanks to old poker contacts. There's almost no kitten poker circuit locally."

"That's nice in some ways."

"Not really. The majority of the ones locally are kinda mobbed up. And the rest are hiding a lot."

Steve grimaced. "Any related to Wo Fat?"

"No, they consider him a pussy tampon as one called him. His wife purred at that thought."

Steve shuddered. "Eww." Xander grinned. "Did you get nagged about helping us out of our bodies?"

"Yeah but it's not like it was intimate and I didn't snatch and force."

"Why do they consider it intimate?"

"It's like touching magics when you work together. I don't consider it that way but maybe it's because I don't feel magic the same way." He snapped his fingers and got up to get something, coming back with the papers. "Only magic users think it's intimate to help someone meditate that way. This group, they're trying to start a hellmouth like structure to get power." He let him have the newspaper. "That's the same chaos magic group. If you can find them for me I can go smack the living fuck out of them while I absorb the spell residue."

"What would they need to do that?"

"Power, a few personal things, a clear area near where they were going to put it. They won't need any sacrifices beyond personal power and blood there, and it can come from other areas, and they don't have to sacrifice them there or even kill them. This would probably be more taking in virgins and taking their power and blood."

"Willingly?"

"Not necessarily but willing sacrificing is more powerful. They could actually sleep with a witch, leave a spell hook, something that they can link into later, and then steal their power while they're doing it. They'd probably try to fight back if they could feel it happening but by then it'd be a problem."

"Will it take you or could any magic user stop it?"

"It'll take someone sorcerer class of magic or above to stop the spells itself. I can suck it up and it'll be like hellmouth radiation to me. Just something that lives in me and glows now and then."

"Do we have a sorcerer around here?"

"Two or three. I'm going to see if I can get in touch with one of them."

"That's fine, Xander. Keep me informed. And if you get weapons I'm confiscating them."

"Yay," he said dryly, staring at him. "Worry more about the guy that's starting his ascension bid but is only a quarter of the way through so he'll be sacrificing babies probably."

"Who?"

"Heard the rumors but not who."

"Okay. When you hear, let me know." Xander nodded. "If we find a few sacrificed we'll call."

"Steve, they can use the excess magic to burn the bodies," Xander said. "At least ten others have tried to get there and haven't made it because they didn't do the right steps the right way but didn't get caught by humans."

"Shit."

"Yeah, and I'm not sure where that one is. If I knew...."

"Could that be one of the sorcerers you wanted to talk to?"

"No. They're uptight like the Church Lady. You know, that SNL skit," he said at the confused look. "They're like Danny only less loud and more uptight and less willing to go shirtless."

"Okay, I can understand that. Tell them to call me if they need help stopping someone legally."

"I can do that." He grinned. "Any other huge problems?" Steve shook his head. "Want the turnips? I figured out I really hated them."

"Sell them."

"I don't have that many and the people I asked said that no one eats turnips."

"Neither do I really."

"I put them in soup. I did good making soup while I was sick."

"It's a good thing when you're sick. I can take them and see if Chin wants them." Xander grinned and relaxed. "Make sure you tell me when and if you run into problems."

"Yes, dear." He blew a kiss, going to get him those reusable shopping bags full of turnips while Steve rolled his eyes. "Here you go."

"Thanks." He gave Xander a light shove. "Eat more. You're still skinny." He left, taking them back to the office. He handed the bags to Chin. "Xander didn't like turnips."

"I get that problem," he agreed. "I'll pass them out to the cousins." He looked up. "Did he have more weapons?"

"No, they were talking about discounts but the guy wanted more than Xander would give to knock off not enough money." Chin shook his head. "But we have three problems going on. We have a group of chaos mage wannabes who are going to open something like a hellmouth. We have a guy doing rituals so he can do the same rite that happened during Xander's graduation, but he's only partway through them. The next one for him is a lot of sacrificed babies. Then he said we have a sea monster coming up this afternoon. He said it's peaceful but the tourists are going to open fire and he'll have to put it down mercifully."

"We can call around," Kono said. "Make sure people know not to fire on the sea monster since it's peaceful." She started to call her surfing buddies. Chin was sending out some text messages while Steve called more official sources who could get news to the beach lifeguards.

Danny was looking up what rites were needed to ascend. "Taking out babies is step nine in one version, three in another, and the last one is the step before the end."

"He said about halfway," Steve said.

"Okay so he's trying to become about fifty yards instead of ninety." He put that up on their bigger screen. "That's what he's trying to do. They're all taken in the same way."

"He said they could cover it up with extra magic. He heard that ten others have tried and failed their rituals but didn't get found by law enforcement." Steve read them over, grimacing. "That's disgusting."

"Yeah," Danny agreed. "Any idea who?"

"He said he heard rumors someone was." They shared a look. "We hear, we don't make him have to handle them."

"Agreed," Chin said. "I'd kill them just to make sure they can't do that."

"Can we warn the local hospitals?" Kono asked. "Are there things they can do?"

"We hope so," Danny said. "We'll do that in a bit." She nodded, making notes of all the local hospitals.

"It sucks but they could import some of them from somewhere else," Chin said quietly.

"We can warn the airport too. We're already watching about people smuggling." Steve grimaced. "The chaos twerp group is going to probably be a long term problem. Xander said he could interrupt it and absorb it but it'd take a sorcerer to stop it if they really got it started."

"Any around here?" Kono asked.

"He said three."

"Great. Hopefully they can help?" Danny asked.

"He said they're more uptight than you are and mentioned some Church Lady skit on SNL."

"I'm not that uptight," Danny complained. "Or that focused against evil things."

"You handle our evil things instead of Xander's version," Kono told him.

"True, we do handle a lot of evil things." He got back to work, shaking his head. The others tried not to grin about it. Xander wasn't *wrong* but he wasn't that uptight.

***

Xander walked into a store and sighed, staring at the witches staring at him. "So," he said.

"Harris, you look better."

"I had Anya help me remove the tumor. It helped a lot. I can keep food down again. Though the hemlock you gave me did help a ton actually." They all glared at one of the witches. Xander shrugged. "I'm immune," he said with a small grin for that one. "Thanks though." He looked at the witches. "We have two problems."

"Why do *we* have them?" the head witch asked. She was still young and perky.

"Because at least two of your people have slept with the same chaos sorcerer and he's pulling on their magic to open a hellmouth here."

She blinked. "Excuse me?" another demanded. Xander put the notes on the table. "We know about that group."

"I talked with Bryce earlier. He said the stolen power comes directly from here, two streams of powers. Though the one you slept with isn't the one who stole it. His twin sister tapped into the power that he bookmarked for later touching. She stole it."

"Crap," the bad witch who had poisoned him muttered. "Which ones?"

"Bryce didn't know." He shrugged. He looked at the head witch. "Second huge problem. There's a guy doing an ascension bid somewhere in the islands. He's about three-quarters of the way done and is at a baby sacrificing step within two months. By the stuff we looked up it has to be by summer solstice unless he started his in the winter then it has to be by winter solstice and he's not doing the version we think or he's already screwed so he'll keep doing it and then die when he eats the spiders."

She grimaced. "That's gross. I've only read about those."

"One happened during our graduation," Xander said with a smirk. He pulled up the footage, letting them see it. "This is the biggest version." They all shuddered when he changed.

"Why did you cheer?" one asked.

"Because the troll deserved it. Somewhere a bridge was missing it's slovenly underliving being." He looked at her. "He gave us hell for no reason because he had power. Hell, he tried to tell Willow that she was worthless. He got me many times. The whole school cheered." She grimaced but went back to the film.

The head witch looked up. "Killed by the explosion?"

"Head has to come off," Xander told her. "Explosion did that."

She nodded once. "Eww."

"Yeah, but we were all evacuating past his teams of hit demons who showed up to help by herding all the tasty running and screaming nibbles. Buffy got hit with slime." He grinned.

She shook her head quickly. "Damn."

"Yup. And the local attempt's about to need to sacrifice at least ten infants, all under a solar month's age." She shook her head slowly. "Any blessed or specially gifted kids are extra special. He can do more at the same time, gather their energy, and use it to cover the deaths up." He put his phone up since he saw someone coming their way. He looked at her. "I have no idea where on the islands he is. Could be a she but most are males. He's at least forty-five and probably looks younger. Wilkins was ninety and looked fortyish at the end." She nodded, going to help the older woman who came in. He grinned at one witch. "That morning sickness tea you recommended *really* made sure I made it through the cancer treatments. Thank you for that. There were a few days when nothing stayed down but that."

She patted his hand. "Cancer treatments suck it out of you, Xander."

"Yes they did. And then Anya decided I should be just as strong as when I got sick the first time." The one who poisoned him glared at him. "She used to be Anyanka. Now she's a money grubbing nympho. And my former prom date."

"I know about her," that one said.

"Her gifts got broken so she got fired."

"Oh." She slumped. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously. Thanks to Cordelia muttering she lost it and it got broken by a foot." He leaned on the counter. "Is there anything that can help me rebuild faster? I've got to work back up to where I could work again. I'd like to be able to grocery shop instead of eating the veggies I can grow."

"How did it come back?" that girl asked.

"Someone NID gave me the serum again," he said quietly, glancing at the other customer then at her. "It got given to my coffee a few days after the battle in LA and before the one in Colorado. She found it then during the post-battle checkup."

"Oh," she said. "That sucks."

"Yeah, it does. Especially with who started all that off. I'm just glad I could get free and go talk to the ones I did so they could stomp on them."

That witch blinked at him. "You got O'Neill?" she muttered. He nodded. "How?"

"Astral. I was out of my body for almost two years."

"Oh." She slumped. "We didn't hear that. Just that you're not friendly to us."

He snorted. "Told by Willow? Yeah, she's a bit biased thanks to her addiction issues." He stared at her. "I have nothing against that sort of thing as long as it's not attacking me or creating a problem I have to fix." The woman cleared her throat. He looked at her. "Hey, Brenda. Didn't realize it was you." She glared. "Anya's out here somewhere, she found a richer boyfriend who has more stamina."

"What are you doing out here, Harris?"

"Cordelia, who is now the messenger for the PTB, told me to move. I had things set up right before they burned my farm."

"Oh, dear." She blinked. "I heard there was a power sink out here."

He pointed. "The chaos bro's who're kinda idiots are trying to open a hellmouth."

The wish demon moaned and shook her head. "Damn it!"

"Yeah." He grinned. "We were just talking about them and the guy who's trying to do an ascension bid."

She grimaced, licking her lips. "That's disgusting."

"Yes it is," he agreed. "And I'd like to stop him before I have to mobilize another group to fight the big worm."

She stared, shaking her head. "No you didn't."

"That was mine, Buffy's, and Willow's graduation, Brenda. Yeah, I did."

"Oh, shit!" she shouted. "That was you that made the wish."

"Did you see why?"

"I did." She frowned. "How did that lead to cancer?"

"Serum. Initiative. Finn claimed he dosed me."

She licked her lips again then patted him on the shoulder. "You're still weak."

"Anya and I did the spell to grab the second version about three weeks ago. Then she tried to get me back up to stamina like I used to have by killing me in bed."

She shook her head. "Anya is warped but she was like that during the middle ages too." She leaned on the counter. "You're healthier than I'd expect."

"The treatments and some of the tea they gave me helped a lot to shrink it. Then Ahn and I used a stuck baby spell to snatch the tumor out."

She blinked. "A what?" He pulled out his phone to look it up on a spell site, letting her see it. "Oh, that spell. I didn't think about warping it that way."

"She made sure I had warped it correctly so it'd only take the tumor. I let my doctor have it for testing and I came out with only lesions again. NID gave it to me the second time right after the LA battle."

"Wow. They really hate you."

He grinned. "Them, the Powers That Be, a whole lot of upper level demons...." He smirked. "It means I'm doing the right thing. By the way, Wolfram and Hart's price on my head won't be paid off. They have me confused too. They thought I was Wesley." She quit touching him and sending power at him. He grinned. "I'm a bit open to that right now. Bryce was ranting in anger earlier so he was shedding magic."

"Dirt." She stared at him. "Everyone hates you, kid."

He nodded. "I know. It's because they hate that normal people can become knights and hunters. Well, screw them about that. They took Jesse. I helped fix that and still help fix that. Or I could just go back to farming and let the chaos bros open a hellmouth on this island. I mean, it'll love me like my original one did." He shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. It might give me less radiation poisoning than Sunnydale's did."

Brenda looked him over then shook her head and looked at the witch. "This is why they wanted women to do it."

"That and because they thought women were expendable," Xander quipped. "There's been males who had the same marking, notably twins, and they didn't go anywhere near them because boys were more highly prized."

She nodded. "True."

"Sineya told us when we asked," Xander told her. "After Buffy summoned her to help."

Brenda blinked. "You weren't part of that."

"No, I talked to her spirit since I was still out of my body then. That's why I talked to O'Neill and DiNozzo and Gibbs." He grinned.

She shivered. "No wonder the PTB thinks you're in the way."

"They do it around me. I'm not going to ignore it. They let me be made this way," he quipped. "Pity."

She slumped again, nodding. "Good point." She patted him on the arm. "We're all constrained from helping you with anything."

"I heard from D'Hoffryn. I still thought Willow would've used that wish to handle an apocalypse battle instead of starting soulmates."

Brenda's eye twitched. "That was her wish?"

"Yeah. She's sure I have a protective owner somewhere. Since the marks won't show up if you touched the person before the wish went off.... And I don't have one anyway. The PTB severed any I might've had for backing up Buffy and bringing her back to life. CPR, baby," he finished sarcastically.

Brenda moaned. "No wonder. Okay, why are you here?"

"Talking to them about healing teas for my rebuilding time and to talk about ascension person and the chaos bros. I've got to get back to work sometime. I'd like to grocery shop instead of farm for veggies. And have the occasional bunny I catch for stew."

She looked at the witches then at him. "Good luck with that. Those same yahoos from Missouri are here too."

"I know. I punched one that was annoying a young woman at a restaurant the other day. He threatened to beat me up and then burn me in my car. I told him to bring it and pulled a short sword." He grinned. "He kinda ran and the little yellow stream followed him back to his pickup truck."

Brenda shivered. "Damn."

"Yup. But she's safe and that's what's important." He looked outside then at her. "Are you ladies being bothered by heretics?"

"Yup," one said, looking. "That's their car too. Missy, bigots are parking," she called.

The head witch came out and locked the door, walking off. "We can handle it, Harris."

"We can call someone," Xander offered. "They have a nice PD out here."

"Then more of them show up and threaten us more," Missy said. She looked at him. "We don't need more hell."

Xander pointed at Brenda. Who smirked and hit him on the arm. "I think that's her job."

Missy stared at her. "Can we wish that they leave us alone?"

"You can. That is my area." She glared, going to demon face. One of them screamed and the others ranted and tried to get into the shop. One of them broke the door and Xander moved to shove him back out it. "Go ahead, Missy."

"I wish that they'd leave us alone. We're not even sure why they wanted to come bother us for doing teas."

"I don't know either," Brenda admitted. "Wish granted, dear." The bigots got up and mostly walked off. Two weren't. "Harris, you negated the wish for them by being in contact."

"I wasn't touching either one, Miss Brenda. I was standing here looking almost impressive." He pointed. "See, not touching."

She came over and cast it specifically on those two. They wandered off mumbling. "Could you have a bit of magical radiation?" she asked impatiently.

"I don't have magic, Miss Brenda. I have radiation from my hellmouth. I have some astral plane energy still."

She tested him. "You have magic around you but that's Rosenburg doing something." He groaned, slumping. "I'll talk to her in a few minutes."

"Is it trying to protect me again or is she doing something else?" he asked.

Missy tested him. "Trying to have you find your soulmate so you're protected or arrested so you're safe." She walked off sending a text message.

Xander looked up then at the wish demon. "I can't grant one for you, Harris. We're banned."

Xander nodded. "That's fine. I can fix that." He looked up then at her. "I can help her find the Goddess for real." Brenda walked off shivering. "So, ladies, anything to help my recovery go faster?"

"Ten bucks a pound," one said. He looked at his wallet, wincing but got a pound. "You can make this one half-strength and reuse once."

"Thanks. That'll help. Let me know if you need my help, ladies. I'm still a knight." He left, going to his house to start that tea. It tasted absolutely foul but if it worked he'd put up with it.

Brenda looked at them. "I'm pretty sure they had him move out here to stop that ascension and the hellmouth being built." She bought her teas and faded out.

The witches cleaned up the mess from the broken glass door while they sent up prayers to the Goddess that Harris would just send Rosenburg out of her body for a bit.

Unfortunately they felt the wash of magic as Rosenburg fixed the loophole in her wish. A few looked at themselves and found markings so that was nice. One was sure wasn't her husband's mark but they could handle that.

***

Xander got home and went to find the witch of his hell and pulled her out of her own body then walked off shaking his head. Willow was throwing a fit but oh well. He waved at a coven member who was meditating, then pointed and grinned. He went back to his own body and got comfortable. He had things he had to figure out. Including how he was going to afford to get meat from the grocery store. He'd need it to heal.

***

DiNozzo paused his pacing while talking and looked up then at Gibbs. "That was magic, boss."

"I felt. Any idea why?" Tony was texting someone. "Who?"

"One of the coven." He waited and got an answer back. "Rosenburg was fixing her loophole. So now the soulmate mark will appear even if they're dead or if you touched them before the wish went out." He looked up. "Then Harris pulled her out of her body to keep her from harming anyone else." He put his phone up then had to pull it back out to look at the new text message. "He had Anya help him with the spell to remove the second tumor."

"It regrew?" Gibbs asked.

Tony texted Xander. "No," he said when he got one back. "NID gave it to him, boss." He looked up. "Right after the LA battle. O'Neill's doc found it after the battle in Colorado."

"Fuck," Gibbs muttered as he walked off. "He good?"

"He had some magical help pulling the tumor out." Gibbs paused to stare at him. "It wasn't working otherwise probably but he got it out. He ended with an 'I'm fine again, just rebuilding and hoping for meat soon'."

"He has money."

"He had money," Tony corrected. "He probably has a tiny bit left but he's living on a small, acre-big farm on Hawaii thanks to Cordelia ordering him to move before they burned his other farm."

"Hell." He went to talk to others about that problem.

Tony got a new text message. "Oh! Boss!" He came back to take the phone. "That's a bad idea in the making."

Gibbs stared at it. "What is that rite?"

"Graduation, boss."

"Hell no!" He handed it back and stomped off going to talk to those same people. There had to be a way to stop people like that. Maybe import regulations.

Tony went back to his desk to get back to finding his suspect. He really didn't want to be anywhere near that meeting. Especially when he heard that O'Neill got called in to meet with them. Especially since some NID people tried to confiscate O'Neill's people from the meeting and had to be shot.

***

Xander opened the door for Steve, who was in uniform. His dress blues. "Are you a strip-o-gram or are you being recalled and need a sword?" he guessed, grinning at him.

"No, I got told to come here on official business." He stared at him. "I'd never be a strip-o-gram, Xander." He stepped in. His hat went onto the hook by the door for keys. He stared at him. "Can you prove that the NID guy dosed you?"

"Yep." He walked off. "I'm in the meditation room. It's in there."

"Will it stand up to a court of law?" he asked as he followed.

"Yes it will." He held up a picture he dug out of a pile. "Is that good enough?"

"Yes it is." He took the picture to look at the guy adding something to Xander's drink while he was looking at something happening outside. "What was that?"

"The militant yahoo group was having a party up the street for someone's wedding. I got a copy of the tape from that shop when they found the new tumor. It was the only place outside of LA that it could've happened with what Doctor Lam found. I didn't really go out in LA. I mostly stayed in my room and hit a few fast food places that I brought back to the room. The one time I was actually out I was having dinner with someone at a demon run place and they would've beat him to death. I traced it back and asked him to look."

"That's good then." He looked at the other evidence. "Did the store owner let you have it?"

"I asked him because I told him that the cancer had come back thanks to that serum being given to me. He was horrified that the army has a serum that gives you cancer. In fact there's two." He pulled up his notes on that one. "That was started by someone who wanted to take out anyone *unusual*. It'll start as uterine or prostate cancer and moves very fast to other organs. Generally within six months you're not going to make it through treatment."

Steve grimaced. "Army as well?"

"Marines."

"Hell," he muttered. He looked things over, nodding at a few things. "The Secretary of the Navy wanted to know about this." Xander pointed. "A fax?"

"Yeah, it came in handy a few times." Steve sent what he needed to his boss, who sent him an email about it. "Is he still alive?"

"Frozen." Xander grinned a tiny bit. "He's been frozen by a demon council in Boulder because they like and respect O'Neill but the guy was trying to dose them."

"Did he manage it?"

"Not sure. You'd have to ask O'Neill. His followup general is an idiot but O'Neill's still around."

"Someone tried to kill him the other day so NID could capture him," Steve said.

"That sucks. Then again, so does NID. That's their whole purpose."

"I've heard." He looked over the evidence. "Is there any of them around here?"

"I don't know," Xander admitted. "I haven't asked. I can take you to the local demon council to see if they'd know."

"Please." He put the file back together and it went into the fireproof safe. "You're paranoid."

"They've already prompted people to burn me out once, Steve. I'm practical." He shot him a dirty look. "Let me put on clothes." He went to get dressed.

"Have you had any problems with the neighbors?" Steve called, not following him.

"No. Though there's a small concern about the open quarter-acre between me and the guy to the west. It's no man's land and a few of the people who had been stalking me were on it. The police said they couldn't do a thing since they weren't technically trespassing and stalking was iffy since there were no real threats made." He came back pulling on a shirt. Steve paused him and looked at the newer scars. Xander looked then at him. "Don't ask."

"Hunting or treatments?"

Xander looked at his chest and pointed at one. "Idiot in the mall who attacked me for protecting his kids from him." He pulled his shirt down. "The nice officer got him for it and glared at me but I pointed out he was trying to stab his kids. That was wrong and no one should stand there and watch that. The officer agreed and asked me if I needed medical treatment. I said no, I could handle my own stitches." He tucked his shirt in. "Shoes?" Steve pointed by the door. Xander found them and handed him his phone. "Are you driving me back or am I driving myself?"

"I looked, you're not allowed to drive right now, Xander." He took him to his truck and let Xander show him where to go. They parked and he got out, putting on his hat. Xander saw the worried looks. Steve looked and shrugged. "I'm on official business today, people. I'm also Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, 5-0."

One of the guards nodded at that. "I've heard about you. Why are you here?"

"He wanted to ask a question and I wanted to see if anyone knew who the ascending one is," Xander told him. "They arguing again?"

"Meditating on the anger issues from this morning's meeting period," the guard said. He escorted them in, knocking hard on the door to the council chamber. "I present Lieutenant Commander McGarrett and Hunter Harris," he announced loudly, bringing most of them out of their meditations.

"Could you not wait?" one of them demanded, glaring at Xander.

"He's here to ask a question to protect your people. So no. And I wanted to see if anyone knew who the guy trying to ascend is. Before I have to motivate a group to behead him some year soon."

McGarrett stepped up. "The Navy was not aware that any members of that group or NID was here on the islands. If so, I am allowed to remove them from this state and send them to DC to be arrested. Are there any members of the Initiative or the NID on this island?"

The mean one glared at him. "Why is that important?"

"Because NID took over the Initiative's work," Xander said. "Though they've been torturing anything they find interesting since the end of World War 2."

"Initiative?" one of the females asked.

"The people who were under Sunnydale," Xander explained. "The ones I got O'Neill and Gibbs to stop."

She grimaced. "If there are any here, can they be dragged behind a ship back to the mainland, Commander?"

"If I'm allowed," he agreed. "I'd like them to go back in a paralyzed state from injuries."

"I have snot darts that will paralyze or at least slow them down so they're easier to hurt," Xander offered with a grin. "Because I've had to use them a few times when I was stopping a human being horrible to others."

"Is that what happened to my son-in-law?" one of the older demons asked, sounding amused.

"Yup. I caught him beating the crap out of your younger granddaughter. I darted him about halfway through when I got tired from stomping on him. I rested then I went back to it when he was almost back to moving. Is she okay?"

"She's fine, Harris." He smirked. "That's probably not legal."

"I don't know many officers who'd arrest him for protecting a little kid," Steve said. "I wouldn't." He looked at Xander. "Lay more low though. You've gotten notice."

"They filmed the battle in LA. Not my fault."

"Point." He looked at them. "If you notify me about those sorts being here I will do what I can to make sure they can't harm another person ever again."

The head demon stared at him. "We have seen your actions against humans who are wrong."

"I hope I always work against those sort," he agreed. "My team as well."

She smiled. "Your blond teammate is adorable. I know many who would adore having him as a concubine."

"He'd hate that. He doesn't like to be out of control," Steve said, grinning some. "But I'll pass on the offer to him, see if he'd like to talk about it."

She grinned. "Please. My husband's tentacle is lonely and he thinks he's adorable."

"Danny would still have to be able to take visitation with his daughter. He moved here from New Jersey to make sure he still got to see her."

"That is an action we respect." She snapped her fingers. "Get me the threat file." It was handed over by a guard. "We do list hunters, just in case."

"I'd never touch a non-peaceful one," Xander assured her. "Unless they're doing something harmful I'm not here for that. I realize I knocked the fuck out of one of the young ones who was just high and trying to carve himself up with a tree he carved into with his claws."

"That one was very sorry when you delivered him to the healers, Harris," she said. "We understood why you stopped him that way. Did he fight?"

"Yes, he did." He lifted his shirt and pointed at a scar. "His tongue made that one." She shuddered. "Yeah, he was that high. He was going to cut his skin off with the tree."

"That's a good reason to stop him, even if you did beat him to point out that he should not be taking drugs."

Steve looked at each profile, reading it over. He held up one. "Is he still around?" They pointed. "Frozen, arrested, or just in a cell like Xander does?"

"In a cell," she said. "We cannot legally arrest someone and many are still uneasy, even here."

Steve nodded. "I know that's a bad thing that happens to all of your enclaves and councils. You'd think humans would be past that by now but we still do it to ourselves."

She nodded. "It is a shame but we understand. We just take precautions." She looked at Xander. "Someone's going to ascend?"

"He's at the baby sacrificing step by summer solstice," Xander said. "Unless he started in winter, and that means he did it wrong anyway, then it'd be by winter solstice."

She grimaced. "That is nasty."

"Yes it is, and I doubt they'd give me another high school to blow up," he quipped. She shivered. He grinned. "I'm a good boy usually."

"We know. How did you get cured?"

"Anya and I did the spell to remove the tumor. It's one of the ones that helped with stuck babies. I got warned not to do it alone or I'd end up bleeding to death. She showed up to complain that the one that brought her here dumped her at the airport and helped me. Then I didn't meet up to her demands anymore so she found someone with a fatter wallet."

"Have they not settled the insurance claim on the farm?" she asked.

"No. They're still debating. I check every Wednesday."

She nodded. "That is stupid and annoying," she said. She looked at Steve. "Would we turn that one trying to ascend into a higher demon over to you?"

"Yes you can," he agreed. "Hopefully before he tries his next sacrifice because I'm not sure I can keep Danny from killing him for sacrificing newborns."

"I'll let him tag me out," Xander said. "Because if I find him after that I'll be tired for a few extra weeks from beating him." He looked at the councilors. "Has anyone warned the local nursery? It doesn't say he has to use human children." They blinked and one got up to go warn them. Just in case. "If he does try to harm one of their kids, would the PD get him anyway?" he asked Steve.

"I'd like to say yes. That may depend on which officer answers the call. Possibly also the judge. Three of the felony judges are hateful about demons. I can't guarantee that one but I can be sure the prison hears what he did. Some may not care as much but to some, any kid is untouchable." Xander grinned. "I'd never lie about that, Xander."

"I know, Steve. You're honest and tough." He looked at the councilors. "Do we have any idea who it is?"

"I know a few who might," the head councilor admitted. "We'll try to get him stopped, Harris."

"Thank you. Let me know if I can help."

"You are still weak," she said.

He shrugged. "Hasn't mattered yet when I had to handle something. I just brought bigger guns."

She laughed. "We had heard. You need time to heal and get stronger."

"I'm trying. I'd like to go back to work sometime soon so I can grocery shop. Veggies are okay but I'd like meat."

"You could eat beans," she reminded him.

"Yeah but I hate the stomach ache I get. It's not even the gas, it's the bean itself. I get it from rice too."

"Interesting. I hope you make it."

"Me too. I miss doing construction."

Steve looked at him. "You did?"

"Yeah, I did, then did patrol, then went home to Anya. It's how I grew stamina the first time." He grinned. "She didn't used to complain that she wasn't getting seven a night."

"Is she here?" one of the demons demanded, standing up.

"She found a richer boyfriend when she didn't like my stamina levels. I told her I'd be back there in about a year." He shrugged. "She nearly sent me back to the coma after four hours of sex."

The demon flopped down with a huff. "We do not like her sort of demon."

"I ran into Brenda the other day. She was helping the witches who made the tea that got me through treatment this time."

"What's she over?" Steve asked.

"Lost dreams. The witches were being bullied. Anytime they reported it they got worse. They broke their door the other day before Brenda got a wish."

"Those sort I'd like to move too. They shouldn't be in paradise. They don't deserve it," Steve said. He looked at the council, who all smiled at him. "May I copy this file?" They nodded. "I will share this with my team. I know my team would help." They smiled. "Then I'm going to give Xander a few hamburgers." Xander hugged him. "Thanks, get off." Xander grinned.

They let Steve copy that file and he took him back to the station. With a stop at the food truck by the station. Steve walked in. Xander was walking behind him eating and moaning in pleasure. "He missed meat," he said at their staring because of the moaning. He put the file down. "From the local demon council on the various threats. They'll ask to see who is doing the ascension." He put his hat down on the table. "I'm still officially off today for formal Navy business." He looked at Xander. "The Secretary of the Navy was not happy with them."

"Not my fault," Xander quipped, stuffing the last few bites into his mouth. "I can hike home now."

"Sit down and shut up," Danny said without looking at him. "So we can make sure you're safe." He pointed. "Sit there." Xander huffed but sat down. "Thank you. I'm glad that my daughter isn't half as stubborn as you are." He held up a page. "This one? Says he was captured?"

"He's in their jail," Steve said. His phone rang. "Yes, sir," he said as he answered. "Yes, I'll hold." He pointed at a page. "That one's really worrying since he's leading a group to create genocide on any demon community," he said quietly. "Yes, sir, I'm here. No, I got the local demon council to let me copy their threat file. My team is going over it now so we can figure out which ones we need to get first and for what. Well, we do have one who is ascending, sir. Or attempting to." He listened. "Yes, sir, that was that one. Xander, your friend Buffy testified in front of a private tribunal about all that stuff."

"Tell her I said hi," he quipped. "I'm sure if they talked about me it wasn't about how I helped because she thinks I'm normal."

Steve nodded as he listened. "Yes she did. They asked the local demon council in DC and got your page from the demon hunter's site." Xander shrugged at that, shaking his head. "No, sir, he didn't know about that. If you had to look yourself up somewhere honest where do you look?"

"I look on the Toldera site or the one for the Order of Taraka. They're assassins but they keep information on their possible targets. There's two of them in DC."

Steve repeated that. "Yes, sir. No, sir, he's trying to regain strength so he can go back to work. No, sir, he and his ex-girlfriend did some magic to remove the later tumor. He gave it to his doctor and I'm told he shared with Doctor Lam." He listened, leaning against the wall. "Yes, sir, that is his doctor." Xander stared at him. "No, sir, magically. His ex is a former vengeance demon. No, sir, he's still healing and a bit weaker than he'd like to be.

"He's hoping he'll be getting back to work in a few weeks. Well, they're still arguing about paying the claim on his former farm in Missouri since the local bigots burned it after he had started to sell it," he said dryly. "It's been over six months, sir. Yeah, that sort of problem. He pointed that out at the end. He had put a notice in the paper that he'd be selling his farm and moving. They burned it the day after he got everything out."

"I heard that they did it that way because they were scared I had something in there that would've killed them all. They thought I had bombs or some trapped demons," Xander said.

Steve repeated that, shaking his head quickly. "Yes, sir. No, he's been living off his current farm. They had some vegetables already planted and he planted more. I'm sure it helped his health some but he will need more protein to get better, sir. After all, we have someone trying to ascend somewhere in this state."

"Plus chaos sorcerers trying to make a new hellmouth," Xander quipped.

"And he said there's a group of sorcerers that are trying to make a new hellmouth," Steve repeated. He sat down with a grimace. "Yes, sir, but the PD isn't really able to handle that for everyone. That makes it his job. No, sir, there's no payment in hunting. I'm sure they would be delighted if there was."

"Yes I would sometimes," Xander quipped. He started to move but Danny's glare made him sit down. "I was just going to use the bathroom."

"You can wait. There's idiots in this building." Xander huffed but stayed there.

"Yes, he's here, sir. Yes, I did talk to him about that redosing. Sir, I sent the pictures. Oh, your assistant gathered it. Yes, sir, he had pictures in proof of the NID agent in question pouring something into his drink. Yes, sir, he is an NID agent." The 'I said he wasn't' was loud enough for others to hear.

"Well, he might have been," Xander said. "Right now he's mulch." Steve stared at him. "According to the website on hunters, he was sent to dose Buffy with something so they could pick her up. The Council had him wet worked last week." He let Steve see that entry.

"Yes, sir, I do see he's a former human now." He listened to him splutter and choke.

"Is that the guy that got infected by a snake of some sort? Demons were saying he wasn't the only one and O'Neill is going to have fits."

Steve considered that. "Sir, there's rumors you're presently being overtaken by some sort of symbiotic creature." He got hung up on so he found O'Neill's number. No answer. "Hmm."

Xander grinned. "He's off world. It's on the gossip site." He considered it. "I can go tell someone." He put his phone up and concentrated, letting his mind go out of his body. He looked around, frowning. "I'll tell him about that later." He went to the mountain lair of the alien king, his pet name for O'Neill. He found Landry, and his snake. He found Mitchell, and he was in jail. He found Sheppard about to come back in and stopped him. "No no nonono," he said, stopping him. "No. Go up." He shorted out the elevator panel and hit the 'up' button. He faded into view. "Lots and lots of snakes," he said. "And they're putting non-snaked in jail. All the way to the Secretary of the Navy." He blew a kiss. "So are some of the guards." They tried to get them when the doors opened but Sheppard hated being threatened. They walked off together, him going with Sheppard back off the base.

"Can you go tell McKay?"

"Yeah. I can do that. He's down there though."

John winced. "Please?"

"Sure." He grinned. "Mitchell's in jail. O'Neill's off plane." Sheppard grimaced. "The Secretary of the Navy hates me and he has one too." He disappeared, going to the lab area. He faded into view then out suddenly when a snaked one came in. He came back and knocked her into the wall. "No citrus!" he ordered, talking down to her. "You'd think that your snake was better trained than that. Lemons and snake meat just don't go together very well." He stared at her. "How very boring you are. I'm pretty sure that other snakes and worms are smarter than yours." He glanced at Rodney. "I intervened with someone who's off base. He said to warn you."

"Thank you," he said dryly. "Who else?"

"The general that's here. The Secretary of the Navy....I'd use a musical cue right now. It might stun then enough to leave their hosts." He pointed at a button. McKay locked the labs down and set off a tone. One of the scientists in there screamed as her hearing aid went off but the snake in the one scientist screamed and fled. Xander grinned at him. "You're brilliant."

"Yes I am. Why are you doing that?"

"It was necessary. No one answers phone calls these days." He shrugged. "Let me go back to my body." He waved. "Have fun with them. O'Neill is off somewhere playing golf or something."

"I heard. Shoo before one of the Ascended Ones shows up."

"I'm only out of my body. They can't do anything about us." He went back to his body and came back to stab the demons attacking. "Why hi there," he said dryly. "Are you snaked too?" One of them shrieked but Xander got the snake pouch. The other one was in the head so he pulled something out and hit the demon with it on the back of the neck. It made it scream but pass out.

"He's got snakes in his brain instead of his belly. Oh, Danny, call your daughter." He grabbed his phone to do that. "Her contact with you was glowing a lot and I'm not sure why." The other demon got up and rushed at him so he kicked it into a wall. "No," he said. "Bad snake." It hopped up to hit him again, showing off the gold tattoo on their shoulder this time since his shirt had ripped. Xander kicked him again but Steve got the guy down and knocked out. "That tattoo means something special but I'm not sure what."

"You will be one of us and do our will," one of them sneered.

Xander looked at him. "You're fucked in the head if you think I'm going to let someone take over my brain after I had to fight to get it back, mother fucker. You want it that hard, you come at me and we'll talk." The demon got up sneering. Xander pulled his blessed blade, waving him on. "Really. C'mon." The demon winced and held his head. "What? Think you have the wrong one? Probably but oh well."

"Xander," Steve warned. "My job."

"Fine." He sat down again. "At least I don't have to worry about them torturing a pet I own since I don't right now."

"You are not the Knight."

"I am the Knight," he said dryly. He pulled out his Sunnydale ID. "See?" The demon shrieked and lunged at him. Xander kicked him back into the windows. "Really? That's what you try?" One of the other ones tried to stab him so he backhanded him into Steve. Steve was frozen thanks to the demon's slime. Xander got the other two and stopped the last one by landing on his back. "So, why did you want me?" he asked him. "Guys, relax, you're going to be fine. The green one has a paralyzing slime. It'll wear off after about an hour." He looked down. "So, what was the big idea?"

"You will pay for stopping our glorious return," the snaked being said.

"Well, fuck you and Wolfram and Hart too," he said dryly, reaching over to grab Danny's phone. "Princess, he's fine, just frozen by a demon slime. I'll have him call when he can move but he's fine. Just stuck in place." He hung up and looked at the demon again. "See, you worried his daughter too." The demon snorted. Xander hit him. "Do it again."

"You will not stop us, Knight."

"The fuck I won't. Do you see me giving in?" Something touched his ankle and it screamed in pain. "Yeah, not normal. Hmm. Sunnydale, bitches." He grinned. "Anything else you want that you're not going to get?" The demon was trying to get free. "No, I don't think so." He slugged the guy, knocking him back into the floor. "Any other desires or something you want to share with the group?" The demon spit at him but Xander punched him again. More officers rushed in. "The green demon has a paralyzing slime. These ones are all being overtaken by some hostile symbiots. Move the PD people but remember they're paralyzed. They can't hurt me and I'll figure out how to unsnake them in a minute."

"Who are you?" one of them demanded.

Xander glanced back. "Harris. I'm a demon hunter." They groaned. "I only go after the deadly ones. These ones chose to show up here and attack due to the their little snakes. And if you see one, stomp it before it takes you over too." One of them got stomped. Xander looked down. "So? Anything you want to share?" The demon struggled. "Yup, keep it up." His snake sloshed out and Xander stabbed it through the neck. "Not going to work and they can save you after you got snaked. O'Neill's people can."

"Are the people snaked too?" one of them demanded.

"Not that I've seen. This is actually an O'Neill thing. Those are gou'ald. Their doctor is probably handling the huge problem on their base where more of these made it through but maybe not. Not sure."

"How did they get here?" another officer asked.

"No clue, I was out of my body warning someone about these things and woke up when one tried to attack me." He looked at the snake then looked around. "My phone's somewhere. Pretty basic non-android." It got handed over. He called someone. "Hey, Doctor Lam. I know you're busy but we had some demons here snaked that attacked the PD. A few are dead snakes. A few aren't. And one's got the special gold tattoo on his shoulder. Yeah, that sort only on his collarbone. I'm here with McGarrett at his office. Where they attacked. Thanks, ma'am." He hung up. "She's hella busy but she'll try to get here to see if she can free them in a few minutes." He looked up. "If not, I'll ask one of the local healers if they can do it." That got a nod. "I only go after the ones causing problems, people. Sorry they did this here."

"Why would they want you?"

"Because when I was sick originally I was out of my body for almost two years and I meddled some by getting things handled before they got started. Everyone from the law firm that did the LA invasion to the NID to some others has a price on my head. Which sucks greatly but you do what you gotta do sometimes." Another demon appeared. "Hold it, people. That's a healer. Healer Ericks, they have gou'ald."

"I heard and told the great Doctor that I would help our own people since she has many that have to be cleaned of an infestation." She looked. "Kill that one," she ordered with a point. They killed the snake crawling for Steve and Danny. "Thank you."

"Can anyone talk to the snakes?" Xander asked, not moving.

"Not that I'm aware of. I will ask soon. You did good not killing them."

"Some of their snakes fled," he admitted. "This one's as well."

"That's fine. Let me get to them." Xander moved and helped her kneel. "You are quite polite, Knight."

"I try. You deserve it." He pulled the others over for her. He dropped the green one. "His slime paralyzed the people."

"That is easily worn out," she said, concentrating. She held out a hand and he grabbed it, letting her suck from his energy. "You are still weak."

"Then pull the hellmouth taint, Healer," he said quietly. "I still glow with it." She nodded, pulling at that source. She healed the demons and made sure they wouldn't die. The warrior with them wasn't going to be easily healed. She tested it. "That gou'ald larva is older. Very advanced. Nearly ready to graduate to full adult status." She knocked him out. "We will take them back to O'Neill for their doctor to work on as he's half-human." She stood up with Xander's help, looking at him. "Go sit down." He sat down and stared at her. She looked at the officers. "Most of these are peaceful but those two," she said with a point. "Are part of a group that is trying to take over humanity again."

"One of them mentioned Wolfram and Hart," Xander said. "They started by telling me I wasn't me and then they hated me even more than they did originally."

"Wolfram and Hart hate you for stopping their invasion." She looked at the officers, crossing her arms over her chest and putting her hands up her sleeves. "Are we taking them back to the local demon council instead of your jail?"

"We can talk about that," one of the new officers said. "Can you fix the officers?"

"It has to wear out and will take about an hour total," she said. "There's no way to dissolve it. We must protect them until they can do so on their own. We have much respect for these ones. They have promised to help us when one attacks our groups."

Another officer nodded. "I agree. You're not supposed to be taken out for no reason, ma'am. There's many of us who would help. Not all," he admitted at the dirty look he got.

"Many of us would help," Xander agreed. "I just can't arrest someone for it." The healer patted him on the head. "Ow. Headache." She looked at his eyes. "I'm fine, Healer. Really."

"You are still weak and healing."

"I know. But sometimes you gotta do it."

She snorted but looked amused. "You are a willful child who needs a good mate."

"Willow tried that," he said dryly. "I don't have one. The PTB made sure I wasn't linked because I did CPR that once." She winced. "So I'll have a lot of fun test driving potential mates." He grinned. "Once I'm more healthy. I don't have the stamina for it anymore. Anya proved that." She walked off giggling. He looked at the officers. "I'm here, guys. We had to go talk to the local demon council earlier about a few threats."

"Why?" the sneering officer demanded. "What is that important?"

"The human guy who's about to sacrifice at least ten kids by Summer solstice." That officer shuddered. "He's trying to turn into a really large demon. That's a step on the way." A phone rang. He looked. "That's his daughter it looks like." He picked it up and walked in there. "Hey, Princess, it's still Xander. Yeah, the officers got here. Your dad's able to blink but not talk or move yet. Let me put the phone next to his ear. Maybe he can groan." He put the phone up to Danny's ear. He groaned at something she said and his eyes looked amused. He groaned again and she hung up. Xander put the phone into Danny's pocket. "There. She's safe again." He walked off, going back to his seat. "I'll sit here. Steve drove me down because he thinks I shouldn't drive."

"Why?" one asked. "Suspended license? DUI?"

"I'm waiting on medical clearance. I'm getting over my second brain tumor." An officer shuddered. "Yeah but not my doing. Really not my doing." His own phone rang. "It's Xander," he answered. "Doctor Lam. Yes, the healer did. We still have the warrior guy here. There's some officers here. One of the demons that attacked here has paralytic slime. Sure, you can use me as a marker. There's a clear space... let me go outside then." He walked off with the phone and an officer following him. "Okay, I'm on the lawn next to the station. Wide open, no hills, no steps for at least three hundred feet." She appeared and he hung up. "Hey, Doc." He grinned. "They're inside."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris. How are you feeling?"

"Still tired. The healer said I'm still tired feeling too." He led her back in there with the officer following. "Here we go, Doc."

"Thank you. Sit so we can get a statement." He sat down. "Did you talk to Sheppard?"

"Yup, sure did. Because some of your base was snaked and so was the Secretary of the Navy when Steve was talking to him." She turned to stare at him. "I don't know how long. The healer wasn't sure if any of them knew how to talk to the snakes."

"That would be interesting to find out." Xander got up to look at her neck. "It's not. It's a fake, Xander."

"Okay. It was wiggling."

"It's a jelly." She plucked the fake worm tail off. "See?" He grinned. "You're goofy."

"I am, Steve bought me a few hamburgers because I really wanted meat. I'm so tired of veggies." She laughed. "Seriously! It's been veggies and a few bunnies I've trapped for the last six months. A man's gotta have meat."

"I know. Go sit." He did that. She got to work on the demons. They were mostly fine. The one warrior was still tied up. Xander pulled out his phone and looked at something. "Problems?"

"I'm checking the gossip site that told me about the snake epidemic."

"Somewhere there was a queen who laid them," she said.

Xander nodded, looking at the information then at the officer next to him. It was the demon hating one but it'd help he guessed. Xander also called Daniel Jackson's phone. He was on base, not snaked according to the website, and was working on things. "Hey, it's me." He smiled. "Yeah, so's the one here. We had five demon warriors with snakes, three of them being peaceful ones and two that were part of a group that's trying to pay me back for minimizing the invasion. Plus one later level larva in a gold tattooed guy.

"No, not forehead, shoulder. And now we have Doctor Lam here." She looked up. "Reporting, Doc." He listened. "They wanted to take me out because Wolfram and Hart has a few prices on my head." He got comfortable. "One debated I was myself but then they attacked. One had paralyzing slime and got the officers I'm with. Yeah, we're okay but one of them is Navy and talked to his Secretary...yeah, that guy, and he was snaked too by the gossip site that told me about you guys' problem today.

"Yeah, she's safe and we've killed all the snakes that came out. The healer's asking if anyone can talk to them." Doctor Lam tried to attack Danny and Xander pointed. They grabbed her and tied her to a chair. "And she's got it too. Thanks, Daniel. Yup, that's where I am. They sent her by a beam thingy. I met her outside. Sure. Thanks." He hung up. "Doctor Jackson will be here in a minute to check her out." Daniel walked in with another few doctors. "Hi." He grinned and waved. "Is the big brained one okay? They were trying to hit him with citrus stuff."

"He warned us all after he set off the tone that drove them to shriek and flee."

"Steve," he said with a point. "Was talking to the Secretary of the Navy about the NID people and he was snaked too."

"Your friend Steve?"

"No, the SecNav," Xander quipped. "They're just starting to come around from the paralyzing snot."

"Do we know anything about that?" one of the nurses asked. Xander pointed so she took samples. "Can it be used on anyone?"

"And anything. I tip darts in it after I've cooked it down a bit so it's more sticky. It helped when I was too weak to do more than fire on things."

Daniel patted him on the shoulder. "It'll be okay, Xander."

"I know. We had the thing removed by magic." Daniel smiled but shook his head. He went to answer the phone. "Hey, Princess. He's almost moving." He put the phone next to Danny's ear again. This time the moaning was a bit more vocal and Danny managed to twitch his hand. Xander moved the arm so he could hold his own phone. "He's nearly back. He can move a hand." He went back to his seat. Steve slumped as the paralytic released him most of the way. "It can make you dizzy," he called.

Steve blinked at him. "Yes it does." He sighed and made himself move. "I'm fine." A nurse came in to check him over. "I'm okay."

"We need to make sure a larva didn't decide to adopt you," she said with a smile. "They usually pick pretty, strong people." He smiled but let her. "It looks like you're nearly fully released so you should be fine within an hour but don't drive unless you have to."

"I can hike home," Xander told him.

"It's twenty miles," Steve told him.

"I know that. I did it before."

"No," Steve said firmly. "We'll make sure you get home." He looked at Danny's phone, taking it and calling her back. "Hey, Grace, it's Steve. Danny's about halfway out of it. I'm fully out of it. He's fine. Neither of us got snaked. Xander, why did he have to call her?"

"Her link to him was glowing very brightly. I figured it was a problem."

He smiled. "Thanks. Grace, was something going on before he called?" He listened. "Oh, that's nice that you nearly got hit by another car. Then I'm glad he called you so you made your mother pulled over. Is she all right too?" He smiled at Danny. "She's fine too, Danny." He listened. "That's fine. We can do that. Sure, come to the house, we'll make dinner on the grill. Being frozen did make me hungry. Sure, you be safe. See you in about an hour, Grace." He hung up.

"I can get myself home, Steve."

"I can drive, Xander."

"Not if you're dizzy," the other doctor said, staring at him. "I don't care that you are a SEAL by the patch. No driving if you're dizzy. That makes you a hazard on the road, Commander."

"Yes, ma'am," he said. "I'm fine. He's actually out by where I live anyway."

"Then let him drive you."

"He's not allowed to drive due to recent cancer treatments. His doctor had him suspended."

She grimaced. "Cab?"

"Twenty miles," Steve said.

"I can walk," Xander reminded him. "I have plenty of times."

"Excuse me?" Steve demanded.

"I had to get more tea and a few other things. Once I even got a chicken."

"A live one?" Steve asked. "You'd have eggs."

"I don't have anywhere for the chicken to run around and couldn't afford chicken food."

"They eat bugs."

"So does the mole thingy that keeps trying to get into my emergency shelter under the carrots. It'd starve. Which wouldn't be good eats."

Steve stared at him. "We'll talk about it while I take you home." Kono moaned and winced as she started to sit down. Steve moved to help her. "Calm down, Kono. It's all right." He put her into a chair. "Just rest until you can finish moving." She barely nodded. He got Danny into a chair, making the guy stare up at him. "You out?" Danny barely shook his head. "Okay. Grace is fine, they're coming for dinner at my house." Danny nodded. "Just rest for now."

Xander leaned in and grinned. "At least it wouldn't relax your butt muscles, Danny. That would be bad."

Danny snorted but let himself finish relaxing. Chin was sitting down as soon as he was relaxing. Danny pointed so Steve went to check on Xander. He blinked at Kono, who blinked back. Chin was at the moaning in pain stage so that helped. He could finally move and walked out there, patting Xander on the head, making him wince. "Why are you sore?" he asked.

"Have been for a while."

"Uh-huh." He sat down in his seat out there, getting comfortable. "Thanks for protecting my baby girl and making her not panic."

"Panicking never helps and girls shouldn't have to panic unless they want to do dangerous things like being firefighters."

"She might do that," he admitted.

"Grace isn't that sort," Steve said. "She's more the making a good difference by teaching maybe."

"I could like that," Danny agreed. He watched the SGC people fuss. "He gonna live? And the nice doctor sort that helped the kid?"

"She should be fine," the other doctor said with a smile. "Commander, he said that you were talking with someone else who was snaked?"

"I was talking to the Secretary of the Navy about the NID people."

"We hate them," the doctor agreed. "We can go find the ones in DC." He nodded, relaxing again. "I don't know why they'd send a gou'ald after Mr. Harris."

Xander grinned. "Because I meddled. The ascended ones can't do anything about me telling people things because I wasn't ascended. The other higher powers hate me for helping out before the cancer stuff. And the gou'ald probably have a few demon ties. They know I'd tell if another apocalypse battle is started."

"They do have demon ties?"

"From what I've heard, yes," Xander admitted.

"Huh. Interesting. I'll have to look into that." She got back to Doctor Lam's care. She finally got the gou'ald to release her and they gathered it into a sealing jar as soon as it was out of her body. The other warrior was swearing at them until Xander got up to glare at him. "Don't worry. He's whiny like a toddler." Xander grinned and headed for the bathroom. Steve followed, keeping him from leaving. The doctor was amused but she knew a lot of people like those two.

Danny patted Steve on the arm. "He's like a younger, less tough version of you."

"Hey!" they both complained.

Steve glared at him then at Danny. "He doesn't have any tattoos."

"Only the little star for aiming radiation at me," Xander quipped. "I hate needles. They already scarred me horribly in some areas, I don't want them to add pictures to the scars."

Steve scowled. "How did you get those other scars on your chest and back?"

"Between hunting, my life, and a few choice Xander dates?" he asked sarcastically. "I'm shocked I'm not more scarred."

"We can and will arrest people for torture," one of the other officers noted.

Xander shook his head, grimacing. "I kicked his ass in front of his people and made him whiny. It lost him status and respect from his arms dealing buddies. And got me a nicer date who helped baby some of the injuries he gave me."

"Were you already out here when that happened?" Danny demanded, staring at the younger guy. "Because, yeah, that won't work. That's our fun, Xander. You can't take our fun."

"You guys have plenty to have fun with. I needed to handle that myself or they'd think I'm weak."

"You could barely walk and hunted down something in the park that was eating kids having sex out there," Steve said, staring him down. "That's not weak."

"According to them it was," he quipped then shrugged. "They run on a different scale, Steve."

"Fine. We're still talking about this on the way home. I can drop you off on the way to dinner."

"You still have to talk to the boss guy," Xander said. He stood up. "I can get home. Really."

Steve grabbed his arm and put him back into the seat. "You'd get lost. You're only a few miles out of the way anyway." Danny walked off smirking about that. "Doctor, is there any restriction about caffeine or alcohol tonight?"

"I have no idea about demon slimes, Commander." They both looked at Xander.

"I don't drink and I never had a problem but you know I'm not normal. I have no idea who to ask either."

The doctor nodded. "We can test it later. For tonight, be careful and have one of you drink anything and let it settle in for an hour before the others do. That way they'd tell you if they get extra dizzy or any other side effects."

"Yes, ma'am," he said. He looked at the other officers. "Thank you for the help."

"Are we taking any of them to the jail?" one of them asked.

Steve looked. "A few were unwilling victims. The other two..." Xander pointed. "Yes, those two, we can take them or ask the local demon council if they'd rather handle them. I'm not sure if we have judges who will actually charge demons."

"We can ask, sir, and hand them over to the local demon council," one decided. They gathered those two and took them off. Xander called someone to get the victims to the council's hospital. The warrior went with the SGC people.

Steve popped his neck and grabbed his hat, taking Xander with him.

Chin and Kono locked up and followed to go to dinner at Steve's. They smiled at Xander buying a few burgers off that same cart to bring home. He was a goofy young guy, who just happened to be very Steve like in some ways. Though they hadn't seen Steve with a sword yet. Xander clearly had one and growled when someone demanded to know why he had one on his back. Steve glared and that officer stomped off.

Steve looked at Xander once they were on the road. "I'd like to have your threat file as well, Xander. It could lead to busting some people I don't want on my island."

"Then who would I get weapons for battles from?"

Steve grimaced. "That's a good point. Not a great one however. You can get them from the military. They're going to keep stepping in."

"Yeah into big things. Half of what I've had to handle with higher weapons weren't big things that they'd consider important, Steve." He shifted to look at him. He got a flash and held his head. "Pull over." Steve did. Xander heaved and got out to puke on the bit of grass in front of the bank they were parked beside. Xander pointed. Steve pulled in and parked. The out of control car slammed into a light pole behind them. Xander heaved a few more times and straightened up while help got there. "I saw us both in the ER and a doctor looking at my record and sneering." He accepted the bottle of water to rinse and spit then drink. "Thank you."

"No, thank you. That was very helpful. I'd hate to be in the ER tonight." He got Xander into the car again since the local officers for that area had it. One waved him off. Xander was resting against the door of the car, eyes closed. "You good?"

"Just a headache. I'm used to them."

"Okay. If you're sure. Want dinner?" Xander shook his head. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm going to go nap."

"All right." He took him home, making sure he and his burgers made it inside. Then Steve decided to check the safe areas for stored people. The one in the garden had a trapped mole that disappeared as soon as the trap door was opened. The one in the house got a long look over again. Xander pointed so he found the guy in the bathroom and pulled him out to have him arrested. Then he got to go to dinner. He walked into his house. "Let me change," he said.

"What kept you?" Danny asked.

"Xander had a spot vision about us being hit by a car with an asleep driver. Then I had to wait while someone came to get the guy out of Xander's bathroom." Danny moaned, shaking his head as he headed back to the deck. Steve went up to change out of his uniform and came down in better clothes. Grace hugged him, getting one back and a grin. "You had a lot less interesting of a day than we did."

"I heard. Who was that guy who called me a princess?"

"Xander? He's a demon hunter. He's pretty young, only twenty-three, but he's had a lot of experiences."

"Then I don't mind that name calling."

"He didn't know your name, Grace."

"Oh. Okay. That's reasonable I guess." She let him go and went back to helping make a salad. Steve went to check the grill, helping Danny add meat. "One of his friends was over."

"I heard." He looked at him. "You good?"

"He had a real vision of us being in the ER because of a driver that was out behind the wheel."

"That's good but I guess it sucks for his head."

"Yeah, he had a headache."

"He's probably used to them with everything his head's been through. He said it hurt earlier to touch."

"I have no idea why." They shared a look. Danny grinned because he'd talk to the guy the next day. "Get his threat file? I asked and he made a claim of he might need them for later weapons."

"He can ask us and we'd let him bum."

"If we're allowed," Steve agreed. "That could be a sticking point."

"True." He hummed as he laid out chicken. "Yeah, we can work that out. I want the one that tortured him gone anyway. Just in case it decides to like us."

"Agreed." They shared another look and got back to making dinner.

"Hey, Kono, can you set the goofy young one up with someone nice?"

"Yeah, I've been asking around," she said. "It could do the guy good to get someone nice."

"It'd be better than most of his, who're all dangerous," Steve agreed. "And a fired vengeance demon." He shook his head quickly. The team had run into Anya complaining that she only got two orgasms the night before. Danny had realized who she was and decided Xander must have been the man when he was healthy if he had put up with her and doing a full time, hard job all day.

***

Xander came at Steve's summons, finding him at a shave ice stand of all places. He sat down and looked at the plate pushed toward him. "What's that?"

"Shrimp. They're good for you," Steve said.

Xander hesitated before picking one up. "I nearly turned into a merman. I'm pretty sure we'd eat shrimp instead of anything but I kinda don't eat fishy type things anymore." Steve stared at him so he nibbled on one and nothing happened. "Thank you for lunch, Steve. Huge demon problem?" Steve pointed behind them at the one humping the tree. Xander looked and sighed but went to talk to it. "Hey." The demon blinked at him when he patted it on the back. "You realize you're drunk in public?" It grunted. "I know, you're really drunk. It's like spring break at your college probably, but you're freaking out the normals." He waved a hand. "They're gonna make you a porn star soon. Do you want your parents to find that on the internet?"

The demon sighed and got off his tree/girlfriend. "Fine, human."

Xander grinned. "I'm Xander." The demon stared, mouth open, then let out a squeal and hugged him. "I like you too, dude. And your friendly tree nymph friend too." He grinned and waved at her. "At least do it after dark, okay?" The demon nodded. Xander patted him again. "Steve's trying to get me to eat shrimp. You go recover and it'll be okay." The demon let him go and lumbered off to his motel. "Sorry, Miss Nymphly one, but it's daytime and his family might find that on the internet. That's probably not what a parent wants to see their son online for." She giggled and hid. Xander went back to the table. "It's spring break for the local demon college."

"How local?"

"Small island near here somewhere. I've never been invited so I have no idea. He was just tipsy and celebrating his break with the nymph."

Steve looked then at Xander. "I've never seen a tree nymph before." Xander grinned. "Eat, Xander. You could use the protein and I'm sure it won't bother your former fish taint." Xander nodded, eating slowly but he did eat. Steve smiled at the rather large guy in the shave iced stand who had called him. "Xander, this is Kamekoa. This is Xander. His duty's hunting the evil ones of demons."

"Hi," Xander said with a smile and a wave. He ate another shrimp, then looked at the piece he hadn't bitten off. "What's that?"

"Seasoning," Steve said dryly. "I know you're on pretty bland food still."

"Yeah, sometimes that sucks but at least I can have salt again."

"You sick, Brah?" Kamekoa asked as he came over.

"Thankfully we managed to remove the second brain tumor." The big guy shuddered. "Yeah. But it's gone now and I'm healing. And today I don't have to eat veggies. Because that's all I have in the house."

"Figured," Steve said dryly. "You call the insurance people this week?"

"I call every Wednesday to get sighed at," he said dryly. He shot Steve a look. "It'd be nice but it's still listed as open and in decision making." He ate another bite. "I really want to send something nibbly after the head of the insurance company some days."

"That'd be mean and probably upset others' claims that have to be decided," Steve reminded him.

"Which is why I haven't yet. That and they'd turn it down automatically." He ate another bite and looked. "That's not spice."

"That was some sauce," Steve said patiently. "Korean sauce actually."

"Really spicy. I'm not up to that yet." He ate another one without it, letting Steve have those back with a grin for him. "You can eat spicy stuff for me."

"Sure, I can do that. Shrimp's a healthy protein."

"It is," Xander agreed. "Or so the doctor told me once upon a time." He ate another bite. He gagged and looked. "That was major magic." He grabbed Steve's arm. "Rosenburg's clone," he said with a point. "She's another magic addict and working on addicting others." She was stomping his way. "And I don't have a gun on me."

"I do," Steve said. "And a few knives." He stared at her, pulling out his badge to hold up. "Yes, Miss? Do you have a problem?"

"He's a profanity to magic!" she said with a point.

"I don't use magic so probably not," Xander said. She hissed at him. "Grow the fuck up, Gwenny. You're a mannerless, talentless, ignorant little bitch that even Willow's better than. True women of the goddess aren't bitchy like you." She threw a spell at him and he instinctively blocked it. "Yay, hellmouth taint." He got up and grabbed her by the arm, hauling her off. "Let me see if I can call the Coven on you."

"No, she's ours, Xander." Steve stood up. "She assaulted you, in front of an officer. That means she gets to go to jail and you don't even have to make out a statement. Finish my lunch for me." He took the young woman to walk off.

Xander sat down to eat, shrugging some at the staring going on. "Not my fault she's a wannabe airhead who can only use black magic poorly." He ate another bite. He went over to the stand. "How much for some ice water?"

"Dollar, brah." Xander paid and took it back to finish Steve's lunch for him. He made a note to Steve's phone about the kid. He got a longer one back from Chin. That was interesting and a good reason why Steve was nagging the boy. Yeah, a few good meals would help him grow stronger. He saw the kid gag again and start to look around. Then he suddenly got up and ran off to pounce someone into the ground and beat them to death. He called. "Chin, man, the kid just pounced some guy to beat him to death. Yeah, here!" He hung up and went to look. "You need help, kid?"

"Nah, this black magic user isn't that tough," Xander said as he punched him again. "Just don't get too close. He could hit you with a spell too." Magic came out and Xander blocked it then hit the guy again, knocking him out. Officers were coming over. "Don't!" Xander ordered, holding up a hand. "He's got spells on him that're set to go off. He's a black magic user and he's trying to do something stupid. He sent his protege earlier and she got arrested."

"McGarrett got her," Kamekoa said with a point toward the parking lot. "She was a cranky little girl."

"She's twenty and still acts like she's eight," Xander said. He looked over the marks. "Can someone grab me my ankle knife please? It's silver and I have to cancel some of these marks and if I let him go the spell will go off." The officer handed it over and Xander carefully cut through a few of the diagrams in certain places. He stared, using the knife to trace another one. "Where's the ending of that one?" He grimaced and cut the guy's shirt off, finding it on his side. He carefully cut that one without nudging the other lines around it and near it. "There, he should be disarmed for the spells in holding but there's no telling what he can do when he wakes up." He stood up with help from the officer, wiping the knife off on his pants then putting it back into the holster. "Sorry," he said to the staring officers. "I'm a hunter."

"Like demons?"

"The ones causing problems, yeah. Otherwise, peaceful is all good."

"So he's...."

Xander pulled out his phone to look up something. "This is him and his apprentice is linked at the bottom. Gwenny's a dumb little bratling."

The officers read it over, one wincing. "So this mention that he was coming here to summon something?"

"Yeah, half of those are summoning, the other half were control and gathering energy from chaos output. So we'd probably see something huge appear, people freak out, then he'd get to gather the energy." Xander looked around. "Usually his other girlfriend would be here." The guy was sobbing while holding his face. "Where's the other dumb bitch you usually screw up and around on?" The guy was rolling around crying now. "Oh, great. Was this to draw power to resurrect her?" He nodded, still sobbing. "It won't work. If Rosenburg couldn't get it to work for Buffy I doubt you will." The guy blinked at him. "And if you start off the first evil prophecy you're going first. Before any of those potential slayers." The guy was still crying. Xander rubbed his face and sighed, looking at the officers. "I'm going to go finish my ice water if that's all right."

"You were fighting."

"Yeah, beating him would mean I wouldn't have to deal with a huge problem with a sword," Xander said dryly. "Which did you want?" The guy was chanting through the sobs. "Sure, you summon someone," Xander told him. "Or something." A small demon appeared and Xander winced. "Damn, you had to call something that high."

"It's a kid," the other officer said.

Xander looked at him. "The highest of high ones are. Or appear to be. It means others don't want to take them out." He looked at the normal guy. "Go. Before it gets you." He nodded, hurrying off. "So, Great One Who Will Be My Annoyance Today. I'm not up to date on the current roster of which body you stole. Which one are we going to address when we ask you to kindly leave these islands?"

"I'm Rose," she said, staring at him. "You're Harris."

"I am."

"Hmm. A worthy object to worship me."

Xander snorted. "If Anyanka couldn't make me worship her when she had me doing oral sex for hours, you aren't getting any at all either," he said sarcastically. "Any other wants today before you go home?" A female squealed and rushed over. He looked. "Oh, it's you. I was hoping it wasn't a parent of a missing kid that she stole the body of."

"Great High One Rose," Anya said as she knelt beside her. "You are most welcome here."

"Um, no," Xander reminded her. "This isn't Sunnydale. The normals outweigh those who ignore it, and we don't need a major demon incursion on this ground, Anya." She glared at him. "She has to go before I have to find a sword. Or the PD has to find a lot of body bags. You know her sort take bodies and use them for fun."

"She's a demon, duh!" Anya shot back. "Of course she does." Xander pointed at the officers. "They can flee in fear. She might like that."

Xander looked at the officers. "I used to date her." They both shuddered. "It's going to get really nasty. Can you take the grieving, whiny thing there before she decides to make him a mess? Preferably where she can't get other victims at the same time?"

"We can take him to our cruiser," one of them agreed, hauling him up and walking him off reading him his rights. The other one followed to get out of the way while texting his church. Once the sorcerer was in the car the other one called his priest too. They had to be warned.

Xander was calling the local demon council. "It's Harris. The whiny, grieving sorcerer Percator summoned a higher demon named Rose. Fair warning, she's looking amused at Anya fawning over her. I'm hoping we don't have a mess in the making." He hung up.

"She worships me as is proper, human," the childlike thing sneered.

Xander looked down at her. "Watch me kick you. Anya!" he snapped, making her move. "Thank you! You have more sense than that, right?" The demon tried to pull her back. "I doubt you'd give in to her sexual demands so just let her go. I don't want to deal with this," he sighed. "I really don't." The demon creature summoned more. Xander sighed. "Anya, summon my sword in the truck please?" he asked quietly. She looked, backing away slowly. "Anya!" he snapped. "Sword? Maybe?" She ran off but brought it to him. "Thanks. Now shoo." He kissed her on the cheek. "You still aren't my heir, but you can have the veggies in my garden if you want." She snorted, taking a proper kiss before running away again to get the normals out of the way.

"Are you done?" the head demon sneered.

Xander stared at her. "I can still kick you."

"You wouldn't dare."

Xander kicked her, punting her a few feet. "Really? You think?" The demons roared and came at him. He managed a few but he was still rebuilding his strength and stamina.

"Ha! The Knight isn't so strong now."

Xander took off his hellmouth shielding necklace, making the demons all purr. "Really? You so sure of that? I may have been sick but that won't stop me this time either. Didn't during the invasion."

"Get him, my minions." She pointed. The demons rushed again. A few officers showed up to shoot at them. "How dare you!" she shouted, manifesting as her true form. Xander shot her, killing her. Anya rushed over to remove her and do something arcane over her body. Half the demons fled while she did that. Xander got most of the rest and got a few good claws to the arms and chest too. One really nasty one to his stomach that may have poison on it. Then Xander backhanded the last demon, knocking him down. He stabbed it in the chest, panting hard as he beheaded it. He leaned on his sword, wobbling some. Anya finished and the demon's body dissolved. "Did that help?"

"Yes," she said. "It means she can't come back to try you again." She stood up, carefully coming over. "You growling?"

"No. I'm really fucking exhausted though. Can you drive me home?"

She looked at him. "ER?"

"Med kit at the house with an anti-toxin and a few anti-poisons just in case."

"That's fine then." He let her help him to the truck and inside while she got the keys from him and walked around to drive. The sword got tossed into the back, where it was eating through the aluminum truck bed. She could help him solve that later. She got him into a shower and found his med kit for him then went to call some friends to tell them that Xander had taken out a Higher. That was huge news and there might be a bounty on her, which Xander could use to fix his truck, and buy real Xander food since they didn't really like vegetables. It was like feeding Tigger vegetables, it just didn't work for their bodies. Xander came out bandaging himself. "Did you take the anti-toxin?"

"Yeah, both that and an anti-poison." He flopped down on his old couch. "Anyone good swear at me for that yet? Or locals?"

"I haven't heard from any locals." She found his phone and looked. "Someone's mad that you didn't have them help." She handed him his phone and walked off. "I'm going back to my boyfriend before they decide to retaliate against you. I bragged to others so if you get a reward you can buy more Xander food."

"Thanks, Ahn," he said, smiling at her back. He found his axe under the couch and looked at it, nodding at the sharp edges. He'd be okay if something showed up to retaliate.

***

The governor, who had been briefed by someone, stepped out in front of the press. "I've found out what happened earlier," she announced. "The demon hunter we have who retired here was eating peacefully after asking a drunk, young demon playing with a tree nymph to go sleep it off. Apparently it's his college's version of spring break and the hunter was nice enough to send him to just sleep it off. He's known not to harm anything peaceful according to the local demon council." She cleared her throat.

"Unfortunately right afterwards two users of black magic, part of a well known coven of problems, showed up. The first was arrested by an officer eating where our local hunter was. Then her male counterpart showed up with pre-set spells on him to summon a few demons so he could raise power from the fear it would bring." She cleared her throat again.

"Which is when that hunter beat him severely for trying that and being here. That sorcerer summoned the higher, child looking, demon. According to the local council's sources, most higher demons appear as if they're children. Usually ones they've taken the form of after taking them. Unfortunately there are people who will sacrifice their children for gains, people." She shifted her stance. "I'm sure we all saw what happened afterward when that demon who appeared to be a child summoned some of her minions."

A reporter raised her hand, getting nodded at. "So the child wasn't a child."

"No. It was a higher level demon named Rose. Apparently she was over...acquisitions to put it bluntly. The local demon council went into lockdown and called all their members to make sure they were safely away from the area. We apparently don't have a warrior clan group here as their guards or anything like that. I have asked if that was something they might do to protect their own peoples and they're considering it."

"Who is that hunter?"

"I have been asked not to let out his name because it will bring people who want to take him out to make their own names," the governor stated. "We'd all hate that I'm sure."

"He was at the invasion in LA," one said.

"I believe so, yes," she agreed. "I've only seen film of it. I was here when it happened and in a meeting with the base's officers to see if we needed to do an evacuation in case it spread."

"Looking back, wasn't the head of 5-0 there as well, ma'am?"

"I believe he was, yes."

"Why did that hunter retire?" another reporter asked.

"I'm told he had some health issues. I didn't ask what kind." They all nodded.

"If he hadn't beat that sorcerer, we'd just have a few larger, scary looking demons?"

"There's no telling what he would have summoned and if they were just scary looking or potentially harmful as well," the governor said. "By the marks they found on his body that the hunter had to cut to cancel, they would have called anything above a certain size and ability." An aide came out with a note. "Oh, I'm being corrected. The local demon council took the marks to a gray sorcerer who lives and works on the islands, who is presently protecting some areas from a group of...does that say chaos sorcerers?" she demanded, looking at her aide.

"Apparently there's a group of young ones who want to cause a bit of havoc and he's presently working on stopping them from doing things like opening a bit of a portal to open more magic in the area, ma'am."

"Oh, charming!" She looked at the reporters. "From what that one sorcerer said, he would have called beings who could use higher magic and would have taken out people." They nodded, making notes on that. "As for that other chaos group, I do hope someone like 5-0 has a lot of fun arresting them before they manage that." Her phone rang in her aide's pocket, making him look at it. "An update?"

"They know about that problem, the Commander said they're looking at the group itself, and half the problem isn't them, it's one's twin's sister that wants to open a hellmouth locally. She was going to take over their spell and use it for her own gains. Our hunter and the Commander are both aware and working on stopping them all before we all have a headache, ma'am." He handed her the phone.

She read it before handing it back. "We're aware of problems and are handling them," she told them. A few smiled. "I do wish I had been briefed on that earlier but I'll be getting one by tonight I'm sure." The phone rang again. "And this one says?"

"He emailed it to you a minute ago," he reported. "Including on one being who they do not know the identity of but who is doing something horrifying sometimes soon. He had a briefing sheet for you but we don't know *who* but what." He looked up. "I'll go print that for you, ma'am."

"If it's something that a bit of attention can help with, we'll gladly share," the governor said as she followed her aide to her office. "That was not good timing."

He pointed. "The other is on a person who's doing an ascension rite and film from one that happened during a graduation ceremony."

She sat down to watch it, wincing at what she saw. "We don't know who," she read. "We've heard rumors. We have warned...he needs to sacrifice infants within a few months." Her aide winced. "But they have warned and I was the last to know. They were going to tell us when they had a name and more proof than rumors." She leaned back. "Charming. I wonder what else they're not telling us." He handed over her phone. She waved it off and sent an email. "Well, that explains the health issues." She winced. "That poor man." She kept reading the full file they had, frowning at some. "You know our sorcerer?"

He smiled. "You could say that, ma'am, but I'm very light gray, not even medium gray. I'm one of three on the islands and we're all native to here."

"Really?" she asked dryly.

"Yes, it's why that bullet missed you last year, ma'am." She slumped, staring at him. "I don't use it at work or I'd have better minions I don't have to argue with." She smirked at him. "Really, I would. I'd also have less shedding hair and always pressed clothes. The only ones who use it for such menial purposes usually have issues like addictions, which that witch that showed up first did. The sorcerer is on a watch list of 'take out upon sight' the last I knew."

"Which Mr. Harris did. Is he all right?"

"He got injured. He treated it at home."

"I'd hate hospitals too if I had his health history."

"That's one reason but the rest we're not sure of beyond Sunnydale's taint." She looked confused so he pulled up information hellmouths. "There's one of these there, and this is what that one sorcerer's twin wants to create here. The boys wanted to create a smaller one as a sink, and it's annoying us all trying to stop them. She wants a full blown one to prove herself a true chaos sorcerer because she gets hardly any respect since she's female and fluffy. She likes pink, fluffy clothes."

"Cheerleader?"

"No, they wouldn't accept her. She claimed she was too pretty for their squad, ma'am."

"Oh, one of *them*." She read, shaking her head. "That seems nasty. Would it have long lasting effects on him?"

"Beyond the fact that he has to wear certain things that block the energy coming out of him before he gets eaten for it?" he quipped. "He said he got radiation sickness the first time he left town."

"If they do that here, I'm going to let it eat them and then see who can close it."

"They'd probably have to close it, ma'am. Most of them form naturally. I'm hoping if they try this one they can close it again." She whined, shaking her head with a moan. "The higher beings over the slayers sent Harris out here to rest, heal, and protect us because they're busy taking out any hunters they can find. The Powers That Be want *balance* in humanity." She stared at him. He nodded. "It's fairly well known and Harris makes sure that we win."

"Does he have a counter-balance?"

"No. And don't tempt them to create one, ma'am. It'd be a horror upon the world. Xander has warped a prophecy just by being somewhere once. Him being there stopped the possessed warrior from calling on a higher power to release them, as the higher beings who possessed him wanted him to. It beat a whole run, most of a book, of prophecies because the possessing spirit knew that Harris would block him and stop him if he found him trying it. The world can't handle a bad omen chaos source as powerful as he is."

She nodded once. "Is he fully settled safely out here?"

"He's got a small farm. He's lived on his vegetables more than a few times since he was too weak to work. He was moaning sexually at a burger a few weeks back when McGarrett bought him one. That was the day we had Gou'ald invade 5-0's office." She shook her head quickly and went to find something for her headache. He grinned. "I really should put up a shrine to him," he told himself. "He is a force of chaos and even Janus favors him. I'm sure Ethan might have one." He went to email Ethan to see if he had one yet or not. The proper ratio of pictures to offerings was important.

***

Xander woke up to knocking and groaned. "I should remember not to sleep on the couch," he muttered. "Who is it?" he called when he couldn't get up. "If I know you and like you and you're not here to cause me hell, you can come in."

Danny walked in. "I came to make sure you don't need an ER, kid."

"I fixed all that already."

"What?" Danny demanded.

"I've been doing my own stitches since before I hit puberty, Danny." Danny stared at him like he was weird. "Our local hospital killed people. A lot."

"No, not allowed out here."

"I'm fine. I took the anti-toxin I needed and the anti-poison just in case."

"Uh-huh. Do you think you might need stitches?"

"I did those."

"Bullshit. You can't do your own back's." Xander sat up with a grunt and lifted his shirt to show him. "You're worse than Steve is!"

"Maybe it's something all of us end up doing."

"Yeah! Not likely. He might have different reasons but really?"

Xander nodded. "I did them all. I'm fine. Thank you for checking on me," he said with a grin. "It was really nice of you to come nag me like my friends used to before they thought I was normal."

Danny stared at him. "You aren't normal, Xander."

"I'd hug you for that but I can't get up off the couch. I hate this couch." Danny helped him up and gave him a shove toward the bedroom. "I can hang out here so I'm not jumped by something else."

"Go rest. I'll sit a cruiser nearby."

"That would get them hurt or they'd ignore it."

"We're not like Sunnydale's PD, Xander. We don't ignore shit. Especially not like yours did. By the way, got your file from them. They're absurdly stupid. They had you creating bombs while you were in a coma. I pointed that out and got told you were still in town."

"Yeah, they're stupid. Then again they said that people got eaten by barbeque forks." He grimaced.

Danny pointed. "Go rest. I can hang here for a few." Xander huffed but went to go rest with his battle axe as a teddy bear. It was cute of him but sometimes the guy really did remind him of a more happy, vocal version of McGarrett. When Steve showed up, Danny waved him to sneak over and Steve grinned, taking a picture before going to check around the house for unwelcome visitors. He brought in a bunny that had clearly been caught in some sort of snapping trap device. That went into the sink with some ice for the kid to deal with.

***

Kono relieved them at about eight, with coffee. "He okay?"

"He did his own stitches, took some form of anti-toxin and anti-poison," Danny told her.

Steve looked at him, then shook his head. "In the field is one thing."

"Yeah, I thought it sounded familiar," Danny taunted. "You hate to go get them too." He sipped his coffee, making Kono try to hide her grin at them arguing again. "Let him sleep. He's cuddling with his axe."

She looked in there and took a picture then came back to the living room. "I'll show that to anyone I want to set him up with." Xander came out, giving them a weird look. "We're making sure no one retaliates," she told him.

He nodded, grunting some and scratching at an itchy spot on his stomach. "Like the yahoos who burnt my farm?"

"Exactly," Steve agreed. "We're going to let Kono watch you for a few hours."

"She can do real stuff. I don't need guarded. It could be days before they find their balls and come after me. Last time it was a few days." He scratched again.

"Let's look at that cut," Danny ordered, standing up.

Xander looked down then at him. "That's an old scar, not a new future scar." He still looked so confused.

"We can still check them," Steve agreed, standing up to help Danny.

"I don't have many more bandages left. I haven't gotten to stock in years, guys."

"So?" Danny asked. "We don't have to fully change them unless they're grody." He walked the boy into the bedroom to make him let him check the injuries. Steve helped by pulling the thin t-shirt off him. "That's a lot of bandages. Are you sure you shouldn't be in the ER?"

"Not like they can do more than stitch me," Xander said with a slight shrug. "I don't respond well to antibiotics."

"Why?" Steve asked.

"Don't know. Never have. I kind of remember being in the hospital in Sunnydale for it. That's why I didn't get any when my appendix came out. I didn't get pain killers because they knew my mother would sell them on me," he finished sarcastically.

Danny stared at him. "Your parents show up out here, you introduce us, Xander. I'd like to teach them what *real* parents are like." Xander gave him that same confused look again. "Gloves?" he asked Steve, who found them sets. "Okay, let's start with the itchy one." He carefully peeled up the tape and looked at the injury. "Stitches look good, kid. You do a nice job. Still don't see how you did the ones on your back by yourself." He pressed gently. No blood. "Looks a bit red. Got anything like neosporin?" Xander nodded, going to get it from his kit. Danny looked. "Out of date."

"It's got holy water mixed into it."

"Okay, we can try it for now. You can get more later." He smoothed the gel over it and noticed a tiny little dot. "What is that?" He looked. "You missed one."

"It's tiny."

"It's got stuff in it."

"Black stuff?"

"No. Looks yellowish." Xander went to look at it in the bathroom, coming out drinking something. "What's that?"

"For the poison I didn't know one had. That's a general anti-poison."

"I didn't know you could buy those."

"They're potions made by certain peoples," Xander said with a shrug, then winced and held his arm. "That sucks."

"Yeah, it can," Danny agreed. He pulled him back to look at things. "Will you at least go see one of the local healers to make sure that potion will work on those?"

"If I must but I can't afford it, Danny."

"Yay! I'm sure they can bill you."

"No they won't. They're worse than seeing a specialist can be." Steve and Danny both gave him funny looks. "When I originally had insurance, they fought a lot about me going to an oncologist until we faxed in copies of my scans with the brain tumor circled. Then they apologized when the nurse demanded it." He rolled his eyes. "And they still complained and made me pay a huge co-pay."

"We can figure that out. There's state level insurance," Steve said.

"I don't qualify. Since I'm considered in remission I'm not eligible. It covered *most* of the most recent sets of treatments but not everything."

"That sucks but maybe the new healthcare stuff will have something for you."

"Which I'd have to be working to get," Xander quipped.

"That poison could knock you back into really bad health and then you're screwed for good," Danny said. "Like anything that's a long-term illness, it can slowly eat at you."

Xander looked down, pressing to get some of the puss out to sniff. "It's not the eat cells sort."

"Go wash that off," Steve ordered. Xander sighed but went to clean that out. "Is it running like it broke open?"

"That anti-poison makes it come out of a sore. Like opening a cyst does."

"Gross," Steve muttered, shaking his head. "Find out which one we'd take him to," he said quietly. Danny went to ask Kono to call to find that out. She came in with an address. He nodded and they took Xander there even though they had to drag him to the truck. It had easier cleaned seats than the camaro did. He had to come back for his wallet and phone but Kono handed them over with a grin before they took him off again.

Danny walked Xander into the healer's office, smiling at the receptionist. "He's taken three different potions to cover one tiny injury that's got puss-y stuff. The other stuff looks a bit red but normalish for stitches."

The receptionist looked at Xander. "Which potions?"

"The anti-toxin for the blue, furry one's claws and fur. The anti-poison for the red thing's claws and beak and feathers. Then I just took the stuff for the yellow, non-cell eating puss about thirty ago." He lifted his shirt to show her. "I didn't think I needed to do more than rinse this one out but they freaked out because it started to itch."

She looked then nodded. "That could use cleaned out and we can also probably get you a prescription for an antibiotic, Xander." She smiled.

"They don't work on me, or so I was told."

"We can check. The healer can check." She got him signed in and he filled out the forms without comment. That was nice of him. He even had a copy of his medical files now on a keychain USB device.

The healer came in reading them on a tablet then looked up at him. "You're very lucky that spell worked well."

"Anya and I did it from the astral plane so we could physically see the tumor itself. It was nasty."

"Yes it was. The oncology files have pictures." She went back over his file. "Mermaid taint?" She looked up. "Why?"

"Swim coach wanted to win *really* hard. I went onto the team to see why some had changed into people-eating swamp creature looking things."

She grimaced. "They do look like that, yes." She paged up then sighed, looking at him. "Did they do any testing on you while you were down?"

"I blacked out completely for about two weeks in there, and I'm not sure if it was meds or not. I was still out of my body but totally blacked out and woke up laying on my back on the astral plane."

"That might explain how you got malaria."

"I had malaria?" he asked, looking confused. She showed him. "Yeah, that's when I blacked out. Huh. Maybe someone paid that hospital enough to forget it had ethics. Thankfully it wasn't the NID assholes who tried to get samples of my brain."

"They are foul," she agreed. She put down the tablet. "All right, let's start with the puss leaking area." He took off his shirt and pointed. "Hmm, that anti-poison was a bit out of date but still mostly effective," she said after pressing and checking it over. "Not too bad, Xander." She smiled up at him. "You rinsed it?"

"With saline. I didn't have anything fully sterile. My kit's all old. I haven't upped it since right before the invasion. I'm out of bandages too," he sighed.

"We can see what we can do about that." She checked the other things. "Not bad. A bit infected looking but we can do that. You said you don't do antibiotics?"

"My parents told me I don't react well and they don't do anything for me when I get them. I didn't think it was like why Sunnydale wouldn't give me pain killers when I got my appendix out because of them."

She flipped back through his file, shaking her head. "You were prescribed them more than once. Apparently once she pretended to give you some and you had pneumonia for a few days."

"Was I four?" Xander asked. She nodded. "That's when I remember being told they didn't work on me. I had three days in the hospital and she complained the whole time."

"I would've batted her on the head," the healer muttered. "It appears that the meds they gave you did work when you got them." She looked up at him. "You were prescribed them a few other times but no indication of them being filled." He sighed but nodded. "We'll try some mild ones. Even if they don't work fully the worst they'll do is maybe make you a bit nauseous."

"Please. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let me check the stitches on your back. How did you do those?"

"Mirror and some pliers," he said, shifting to let her see them.

"Not a bad job. Bit uneven but at that angle it'd be hard to judge."

"Do other guys like him do the same thing?" Danny asked.

"Yup," the healer said, cracking Xander up. "Rosenburg does too. She learned from her mother's textbooks."

"Me too," Xander agreed. "And then from a few other books in the main library when I was bored one weekend. It had nice pictures." He looked at her. "Needles?"

"I know you probably hate them by now but just one shot and then some pills?"

"I'm keeping food down again so I can probably do that," Xander agreed.

"Good. We were worried we were going to miss our favorite chaos pin-up." He blushed, ducking his head down. "By the way, brilliant idea to move Rosenburg out of her body until she could fix herself. Very handy and safer for everyone since she was going to cause a lot more problems." Xander's phone rang, making him flinch. "You should've turned that off."

"I forgot since I never get calls. I usually startle myself when I get one." He looked then hit 'ignore'. "It was Buffy calling to nag." He turned it off and put it back into his jeans pocket.

"Well, she used to nag you muchly from what the rumors said."

Xander looked back at her. "She never visited me, even when her mom was two floors down."

"Hmm. Sometimes that can happen but it's never good for a friendship." She patted him on the arm. "Let me get that one needle and some bandages." She walked off to get those from her supply closet. She came back to find Xander having a vision. "When did those start?"

"First tumor," he muttered. He lifted his head, taking a deep breath. "Someone's going to kill Pacia and going to blame me. I'm not touching him, nor do I want to touch him, and I have no reason to touch him."

The healer leaned back into the hall. "Someone call the betting parlor to tell Pacia Harris just had a vision that he'd be blamed for his death when he had nothing to do with it."

"I can do that," her nurse called back, picking up the phone. They had seen weirder things than visions.

Xander smiled and let her stick him then replace all the bandages. He took his prescription and got walked out by Danny, who was guiding him up the hallway. Xander paused to sign the promissary note to pay the fee, not quite wincing at how high it was. Thankfully his antibiotic was on the four dollar generic prescription plan at the local pharmacy chain.

***

A demon walked up to Chin that afternoon. "Detective?" she said quietly, not looking up at his face. His chest was far enough up for her to look.

"Yes, miss?" he asked, looking at her. She wasn't that much shorter than he was. "Is there a problem, someone bothering you?"

"No. We have heard information on the foulness that is someone doing an ascension rite," she said quietly, glancing up. "We know the Hunter would like to stop them sooner and so would those of us who are parents."

He smiled. "I'd like to get him before I have to help the parents get him back for it. Do you know who it is?"

"We have heard the sorcerer on the private island is but if not, he would surely know who is. He will not talk to us and probably not the Hunter, but your pack leader may well make him speak if he is persuasive."

"I'll gladly pass that on. Thank you for telling us."

"You are welcome." She flashed a tiny smile. "Is your female packmate single? A few of our pack think she is admirable."

"She is but she's not looking for anything meaningful, no matter how often all of our cousins, aunts, and uncles push for her to find someone more than fun for a night." She giggled and ran off. He called Steve. "Who is the Sorcerer on the private island? He knows or is the person doing the ascension rite as I was just told. He may not want to talk to Xander, but might tell my pack leader if he's persuasive enough."

Steve asked Xander, who told him who it was. And that he wouldn't even let him near them just in case because other hunters were prejudice bitches. And might not let Steve but they thought Danny was the pack alpha because he got people to behave. Chin smiled at that part of the talk. "The nice young one thought that Kono was admirable. I should, because maybe they'd be nice together. As long as they liked to surf she might be really happy," he said, grinning at her as she walked over.

"Have to be great enough surfers to beat me and make me hot," Kono said. She heard some giggling and looked behind her at the girls following her. "Ladies," she said with a smile and a nod.

"How did you learn to be like a slayer only smarter?" one asked then giggled.

"My cousins taught me how to fight back because half of them were pouncing bullies," she said, smiling at them. "Learning how to protect yourself is a good thing and it can help in other areas. I've had a few dates I had to fight my way out of. Then the boys I used to go out with when I was surfing on the circuit taught me more."

"We don't much deal with water outside of paddling in the pack's pool, but that does look exciting."

"You need to be able to swim pretty well," she warned. "But there's plenty of places that give lessons if you wanted to learn. Then just find your inner strength and live in it daily. Because no one can ever be as good as you are your things. Each woman is a goddess in her own right in her own way." They giggled again and one patted her then they ran off. She looked at Chin. "They're adorable young girls."

"They are. One of them told me about the ascending one, they think. And asked if you were single. I told them we've been pushing for you to have someone for longer than one night."

"If they can't last a whole night, why would I want to put up with them for longer?" she quipped. "And they have to treat me like a lady, whenever I feel like being one." She smirked at her cousin. "It'll be fine." Steve and Danny said something. She leaned closer to hear it. "We think he's the pack matron too, brah." Danny was spluttering and Chin hung up before it somehow came through the phone. She grinned at her cousin, who smiled back. "We can handle that."

"They can do that. It's protocol stuff so Danny should know." They walked off together. "They forced the kid to the healer earlier."

"I was there then. It's a good thing. He had some poison left in one of the tiny cuts." She felt something and moved them out of the way. The witch that landed huffed. "It's not like you're a house," she said impatiently.

The girl frowned. "What?"

"You nearly landed on us."

"That's why the spell made you move. I can't pick more than a general area. Sorry?" She shrugged. "I'm supposed to be making nice with a sorcerer out here to be his apprentice."

"We know there's some but I don't know any personally," Kono said. "Is he supposed to meet you here?"

"He said to appear here and then to find him."

"Okay, well...." She pointed. "Ask the governor's aide over there." She smiled at the young one. "I'd button up the shirt though." She straightened herself out with a squeak and smoothed down her hair too on the way over to ask him. Kono and Chin went to get dinner with some of the family. It'd save their sanity. They hoped.

TBC...