WIP the bunnies are slightly insane - the other one that pounced me by voracity
Summary: The bunnies are insane to have me write in a series i've never even seen more than some clips from.
Categories: Buffy/Angel Crossovers > CSI/NCIS, Buffy/Angel Crossovers > Other TV Characters: None
Genres: Action/Adventure, AU
Warnings: Angst, Character Bashing
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Completed: No Word count: 21395 Read: 5999 Published: 2022.07.31 Updated: 2022.07.31
Story Notes:
A list prezzie for having patience with the archive stuff.
Part 1 by voracity
The woman looked at the stick that was put in front of her on the counter in their apartment. She looked at her husband. "It's not mine," she said dryly. "So who did you fuck?"

He glared. "It was yours. I put it in the toilet so you'd hit it this morning, dear."

"I don't have working ovaries," she said. Then she smirked. "Thanks to the cancer treatments when I was a teenager, my ovaries are bare and one's actually gone from the tumor. So it's not mine." She stared at him. "Are you somehow pregnant?"

He glared. "You're the only one who uses that bathroom."

"We can have the alpha upstairs check me," she offered. "The only reason it'd come up pregnant is if I had cancer in my uterus. Sometimes that'll trigger a false positive. That's how we found the first one." She stared at him. "But I still only have one ovary and it's not working thanks to the chemo and radiation treatments." She shrugged. "So who did you fuck? Since I *know* you've been screwing around on me."

"It's a guy, not a girl."

She snorted. "That's why you smell a lot like vanilla perfumes?" She walked off, taking the stick with her. He growled and tried to grab her but their neighbor stopped him by knocking him out then pulled her into his apartment. "Thank you, Xander." She pushed her hair back. "I need the alpha upstairs."

"Yup, I'll call." He looked up. "Yo, Tony!" he bellowed. "Front and center!" She giggled, flopping down. A few minutes later someone knocked. He looked then opened the door. "We need Tony."

"He's not here yet, Xander. What's happened?" He let him inside. "Oh, congratulations," he said when he saw the stick test.

She shook her head. "I'm not fertile. I had cancer when I was younger. I'm down one ovary completely and the other's bare." He winced. "So when my mate put that in front of me I knew it's not mine. Yet he tried to attack me." Xander nodded. "Which Xander stopped."

"Fuck." He called Tony. "We've got a big problem and Xander's being helpful." He looked at him. Xander shrugged but went to get her some water. Then he went to his bedroom to fold laundry. It was blatantly letting the pack handle its own problems.

The second-in-command huffed but looked at her. "Are you all right?"

"I know he's been cheating. He keeps coming home smelling like vanilla perfumes. He claimed that was from a boyfriend."

"Damn it." He went to look at the unconscious person. Who had a knife in his hand. "No wonder Xander got him," he decided. A few more people came in. Tony was in the middle of that group. He waved a hand. Then he went to get the stick test and hand it over. "She had cancer."

"Yeah, she's not pregnant. We'd be able to smell if she was." He kicked the knife away then nodded. "Okay. Get him up to my apartment so we can ask him what he thought he was doing."

She came to the door. "He put it in front of me, said it had to be mine because he put it in the toilet that only I supposedly use." She sipped her water. "I was heading for your apartment, Tony, when he tried to attack me. Xander knocked him out." She finished the water, going to put the glass into the sink and come back. "Thank you, Xander."

"Not a problem." He came out to look at her. "You're always allowed to hide in my place, Denise. I'm safe and I'd never touch you." He patted her on the cheek. "And you're not pregnant. I can tell pregnant women. You're not." He walked off.

Tony looked confused. "I'm still confused by him. Okay, guys, escort her up to my apartment so she's safe while we talk to this failed man." He hauled the guy up with help and walked him off. The knife was left there. Xander would probably pick it up.

It also meant that whatever kept him from thinking about how Xander came to be in their building broke a bit so he'd look him up later if he remembered. That guy really did confuse and worry him. But for now he had to handle this problem. And probably remove someone from his pack.

***

Xander came out the next morning ready for work, finding the pack gathered around the apartment across the hall. "Denise not okay, guys? She can hide in my apartment today."

One of them looked at him. "We're removing her husband from the building, Xander. Going to work?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Let me know if I can help, guys." He walked down the stairs, heading for his construction job.

"Tony said he might need a statement for her DVP," one of the guys said.

"That's fine. I have my phone on me. Have him come take one or send someone." He shot a grin back. "It'll give my coworkers something to talk about beyond strippers." He went to get in his truck, finding someone leaning against it. He stared at the young woman, making her back away. "Problems?" he quipped, staring at her.

"Checking on you. They're mad you quit that way."

"They're the reason I quit that way so their own fault. And hey, no more healing injuries and getting into horrible things while I'm still healing." He stared at her. "You can quote me and tell them to forget I exist. They finally got the wish they wanted back in high school, Diedre."

"Fine." She walked off shaking her head. "They're going to bitch."

"Fuck 'em," he said dryly. "Not my fault. They wanted it, they pushed for it, they got it. Wish granted." She shuddered but called that in as she trudged off. He got into his truck and headed to work.

***

Tony sat down across from Xander at his lunch, handing over the report. "That right?"

He looked and nodded, signing it. "She okay?"

"She's fine. He had a *friend* take it so he could react."

"Hmm, which he would've claimed feral behavior and gotten free of the murder charge so he didn't have to split things in the divorce," Xander finished. Tony nodded. "I'll help her if she needs me to."

"I know that. Why can I not do a background check on you?"

He sipped his coffee then put it down. "When I moved in, you said most of you in the building were in WP," he said quietly, staring at him. "Like you guys, I've got some stuff in my past that should not come out. I'm guessing one of them did it."

"Them?"

Xander nodded. "I'm not against anyone who's not an evil dick, Tony. Never was. Never will be probably. Outside vampires." Tony winced. "But they made their own war there. So yeah, there's a longer story behind me and I quit to become more normal again."

He took another sip, staring at him. "If you're feeling *compelled* to not search, it was not me. If you can't find anything, that may be someone cleaning things up or you didn't call in a favor from your old job."

He grinned. "Because a few of them wanted me to disappear so they quit feeling less than useless. If you looked me up through some of your former friends, not the ones you worked with but across town, they'd probably have the queen of all hissy fits.

"Especially since my file starts with 'don't feed chocolate, yes he can use weapons, and if you find him, knock him out so we can prevent him from guarding the ones he's training'." He finished his coffee and got up, going back to work. "Have a better day."

"Yeah, thanks, Xander." He took that hint to call someone he trusted in DC. "It's me," he said dryly. That one groaned. "Just need a file checked, Fornell. Someone moved into my pack's building a few months back and I'm really confused by Xander." He listened to him complain about that name.

"Yeah, that is him. How did you know? Is he under watch?" He listened to the 'he's safe for you and your new pack, but he's not normal, he drives agents nuts, and to just let him do his thing to save your own sanity'. Tony hummed. "Anything you can tell me? I can't seem to remember to do a background check." He got hung up on. "Fuck."

Xander came back to look at him. "If you see someone Homeland," he said quietly. "Walk the fuck away. They're brutal dicks and I was part of the team that brought their special project down. They hate me more than most for that and would *love* to find a way to kill me legally. And can't." He walked off again. "Go be safe, Tony."

"Fine." He went to consider that. An agent did show up but he was FBI. Tony met him with a few other officers. He would take that hint to protect himself. The agent tried to take him out for wondering about that guy but he had backup this time.

This was not amusing. At all.

***

Xander looked at the problem happening a few days later from his building's roof. He sighed. The girls were fighting. Not well but they were fighting. They'd win. Probably. Then another demon showed up. Xander sighed. He considered it. The demon brought half an army. The girls couldn't handle that. They had the wrong weapons.

Xander went to grab something and came back up to use it before any of the rest of the pack of former agents in witness protection got home. He fired on the portal, shattering it. The army screamed in pain, some died from the backlash. He fired a second time, taking the bigger demons out, including the original.

He went back inside to hide the weapon again and clean himself up. That way nothing like a gunshot residue test could get him arrested. He went out that night so no one could find him. He nodded at a guy he walked past. "The slayers doing okay? I saw their battle," he asked the officer.

"There was a weapons discharge from this way, sir. Do you know anything about that?"

"Nope." He shrugged. "Sorry, I know nothing about most anything, Officer." He grinned as he walked off. "Have a better night with the cleanup."

"Sir, can I take your name just in case we need to talk to you?"

"Nope." He grinned. "You have no probable cause. Sorry!" He smiled and waved, heading around the corner. He disappeared through an alley into another street and around another corner before the officer caught up with him. He went to a bar he knew, nodding at someone in there. "I'm not in town," he said. "Diedre already tried to guilt trip me the other day."

"Nice shot, Harris."

"I try, dude. An army isn't sweet." He patted him on the arm. "Let me go have a night out of sight. Before someone gets curious. I've found out that someone is keeping people from doing a background check on me."

The demon nodded. "She's still livid."

"Oh well! She got what she wanted!" He beamed and headed for another bar, going to get a bit soused and have some fun. Maybe he'd lose a few hands of pool.

The demon looked around. "He said he's not local." They all nodded at that. "And the witch is keeping people from doing background checks." That got a few laughs.

***

Xander came home that night, staring at Tony, who looked upset. "What? I'm a good boy, Tony."

"You're Council."

"Formerly." He nodded. "I trained the girls who got to stay home." He shrugged. "So? I'd never hurt anyone who wasn't a threat to humanity. If you're not harmful or attacking things or people why would I care?"

Tony grimaced. "That does create a conflict."

"Not really. I retired. Actually I had a fit on them for insisting I'm normal and helpless then I walked off and told them to die. So yeah, not there anymore. Now I'm a construction worker without the after-work job I had the last time I worked construction. Things are much nicer outside of Sunnydale most of the time."

Tony winced. "Shit, you're original team."

"I'm ...yeah. I came with the cunts and the others." He grinned. "But now that you know, watch out for Homeland guys. I didn't think about them scenting you for looking at me, so sorry about that."

"We had one from the FBI."

"They probably transferred. I have no idea how that works." He shrugged again and grinned. "They're all evil fucks who were Initiative and torturing the peaceful and not so peaceful beings in Sunnydale for fun and supposed science. So they can all die. Today if I find one." He glared at the one coming up the stairs. "Finn."

"Not here for you, Harris." He grinned, holding up his hands. "I wanted to talk to the former agent you're sneering at."

Xander put Tony behind him and glared. "He wondered how I became the stunning man I am now. You leave him the hell alone, Finn."

"You don't have immunity now, Harris."

"Bullshit." He pulled a blade and waved him on. "C'mon. You know me. Well, kinda since you believed what Buffy told you about me instead of doing what you should've and profiling me yourself." He stared at him. "Shoo. Go back to your cave of hell." The man tried to move closer. Xander smirked, waving him on. Finn backed off, nodding. "Leave the pack here alone.

"If I have to become myself again, so damn well be it." Finn nodded and left. He put the knife back, looking at Tony. "When you make enemies you really make enemies, dude." He opened his door, looking at the man coming up the hallway from upstairs. "You, not a single word or I'll make your life a living hell." The guy fled.

"You'd have him attacked?" Tony asked dryly.

"No. This town's supposed to be pretty neutral. Pretty quiet. That's why I moved here, and why they moved your pack of people in protection here. But I thought it was bad when I made the Marines mad at me for proving that real men could use swords and take out battles." He went into his apartment. "I wouldn't have him attacked, Tony. I'd have a slayer date him. That's enough to ruin anyone's life." He shut the door with a grin and locked it. "Go hide from the supposedly normal terrorist sort."

"Yeah, I can do that." He went up to talk to his pack. This was not usual and probably dangerous. He knew he had a bad feeling about Xander when he moved in. Sure there was a local housing shortage and this was the only building that Xander could've afforded but it was still weird to him. He pointed at a few. "You three, shoo. You don't have the clearance for this." They huffed but left. He looked at one wife, who grinned and left. "You have the clearance but I don't want you hurt, Melissa."

She stared at him. "I already know about Xander, Tony." She grinned. "I'm too old for the calling to have gotten me but it doesn't mean I don't get slayer dreams." He groaned. She nodded. "Earlier that was a sweet bit of help."

"What happened earlier?" he demanded.

"Not the point of the meeting?"

"I found out about him and had agents show up to try to kill me. Then another one just now. Named Finn?"

"Torturing psychotic asshole Buffy dated back in Sunnydale," she said dryly. "Yup, you stepped in it now." She stared at him. Then looked at the others. "Xander's formerly Council." They groaned. "He walked off in a huff after wishing the top two bitches in Cleveland died at the top of his lungs." They just winced at that. "He's *retired* but really protective. He's never been said to touch anything that wasn't harming another. Though the battle videos are horrifying."

"What battle videos?" Tony demanded. "Explain this to us please, Melissa."

She sighed. "It'll get him more notice, they'll show up here, things will go to hell, we'll all have to move and it'll probably break the pack."

Tony stared at her. "We can get him moved if we need to. The pack can move together too. Now, explain this to us. Please."

She sat down at the table, looking at them. "Xander was a Sunnydale resident." One of the guys whined. "He, according to the files that are heinously incorrect in some areas, started to fight beside Slayer Summers in high school when she showed up." Tony sat down, staring at her. "He was there when the town fell in.

"He went to Africa to train the slayers who were at home. He's said to have been great to his girls. He handled some bigger shit that no one wants to hear about. He trained a lot of people down there to handle it. Then the bitches drove him off. He finally snapped, went off on them, wished them a great death, and stomped off. Most of us clapped at that."

Tony sighed but nodded. "But he won't hurt the pack?"

"No. We're not harming people. He'd only go after any of us if we were harming people. He'd probably protect us if someone came for us."

"Okay," Tony decided with a nod. "That's good. Did he pick this building for a reason?"

"Cheap rent. Nice bathrooms. He's had some injuries that caused damage so he needed the tub."

Tony nodded. "I know about those sort of things." She grinned and nodded. "What happened earlier, then we'll go backwards."

"Earlier we had an attack that the girls were handling but someone opened a portal, we had half an army show up," one of the guys said. "Then someone fired on the portal to end it, then another shot to take out some of the demons. Something in a lighter RPG class of weapons. Was it Harris?"

Melissa smiled but shrugged. "No clue but possibly. I'd put my bet there. Especially since he went to hide in plain sight somewhere the girls couldn't find him to bitch."

"How did he get weapons?" Tony asked calmly.

She giggled. "Demon poker circuit, Tony. He got the girls a lot of it from there." He slumped, staring at her. "And it's probably all magically hidden so even if you went to rip his apartment apart you couldn't find it."

"This is weirder than I'm used to. My worst case for weird was Abby."

"She's a lovely girl and probably can fangirl over Xander. Or maybe want to hide from him, depending on her leanings."

He shook his head. "I'm not going to ask her, Melissa."

"That's fine." She grinned. "Xander's pretty chill about things."

"He protected me from Finn when he showed up."

"That's nice of him. It means he likes you." She grinned. "If Finn shows up again, arrest him. He's a danger to you and others. The last time he had a changer in his hands, he helped torture them for three days by the files." Tony winced but nodded. "That group there in Sunnydale killed at least a thousand demons and some who weren't. Most of them peaceful beings. Some were humans who had gifts. Some were changers." He sucked in a breath but nodded. "The army gave them permanent duty assignments."

"That makes me angry," Tony said calmly but nodded. "Fuck no. That won't stand. I'll have them taken in again."

"There was higher level people behind them, Tony. The army just had a tribunal, slapped them on the wrist, then gave them a permanent job in Homeland or on the UN demon hunting squads. Arrest them."

"I can do that." He made notes to look up in the morning. He looked at her. "Is Harris less safe?"

"They probably knew where he was. So many are in Homeland they can access all that. I'm pretty sure Harris has things so they'll be destroyed if they come near him. Not sure if there were non-disclosure agreements or not."

He smirked. "That's nice to know. I can check into that too." He made another note, looking at her. "If we have to move the pack, we go to the camp," he told the others. Who nodded. "If someone tries to take me out, you guys hike it immediately. Just drop it and go. Warn Harris though." They nodded.

"If it's that sort of group, and you hear, tell me immediately. We'll have official sorts take them out. If we have to do it ourselves, I'll arrange that. If I can't, have Ellison arrange it." They nodded. "He'll be livid but I'll talk to him tomorrow. He's the head guy in Cascade for a reason." He looked at her. "Would he get along with Ellison?"

"I think he knows Sandburg."

"I'll ask Jim." He looked around. "Let me go talk to him. Things may be stupid for a few days. You guys are to make sure the pack is protected at all costs. Understood?" They nodded. "Good." He stood up. "Let me go barge in and make Ellison have a blood pressure problem." He went to leave the apartment and found someone on the other side. "Sandburg."

He grinned and waved. "Jim thinks someone in your building helped the slayers earlier. Was it your pack?"

"I need to talk to him about that. Let's go?" He closed the door behind him and followed Sandburg down to the parking area. Where his car was on fire. Tony turned off his car alarm, which startled the fire department guys. "Guys, I didn't hear a thing. What happened?"

"Molotov, sir."

"Detective DiNozzo."

"Oh! Case related?"

"No clue yet. I'll find out though." He grinned. "Let me know when I come back?" They nodded and he went with Sandburg. The whole department knew Blair. Jim opened the door as they got off the elevator. "Jim." He shook his hand. "Let's talk. I'm going to ruin your night possibly."

"Why are you doing that?" he asked. "And did your pack help those girls?"

"No but the new guy in my building was one of them at one point."

"Is he a danger to your pack?" Jim asked.

"No. Apparently not. But we had an agent trying to take me out in the station earlier because I found out who the guy was."

Jim Ellison blinked then let him in so they could talk. What he heard was not pleasing. Or life affirming. But Ellison could help him handle it and did look up Xander through some of his contacts. Who were mostly amused that Jim hadn't heard about him for the last six months Xander had lived in Cascade.

Of course, agents showed up to try to stop that talk too and made Jim very mad. Very, very mad. Those agents were incredibly stupid by the time the ambulance people got there to remove them. And Blair stopped that since they weren't local paramedics.

Tony called in some help too. That got better agents showing up, who were incredibly mad that these ones had tried to cause problems. Then one heard Harris was in town and they just smiled, nodded, and made sure the people were in good, locking cuffs but didn't stand too close to them in case they got attacked.

***

Xander grinned at the detective on his work site the next morning when he got in. "Morning, Detective. You look amused this morning."

"We had to arrest nineteen agents last night, Harris," he said quietly. "Who hated us talking about you."

"Congrats!"

"They made it to jail."

"Your local peaceful groups are *peaceful* and not really into that. There's a few and they wouldn't get them while they're in custody. They'd get them if and when they're let free on bail or handed back to their agencies. At which point in time I'm going to sit down with a beer and popcorn and enjoy the fuck outta it. They've deserved to get them back for *years* and we all thought it was shitty they got permanent duty assignments."

Jim blinked then nodded. "You're heaving about them?"

"I was on the team that helped stop them, Detective Ellison. I've seen some pretty bad atrocities when I was *traveling*. They didn't really affect me because I ran into those assholes first." He stared at him. "Until you've seen a pile of skinned bodies...." Jim shuddered but nodded. "So yeah, I'll cheerlead like my former girlfriend. They deserve that right."

"Good to know. Are you safe?"

"Do you think they're going to come here?" He grinned. "They don't want that."

"They burned DiNozzo's car in your parking lot."

"I saw that. Two of the firemen were from them too. Probably who set it. I recognized one as a guy I shot in the thigh."

Jim took off his sunglasses to stare at him. "Really?"

"Yeah." He nodded. He looked at the boss stomping his way. "I'll be right there. Someone tried to attack someone in my apartment building last night and that guy's a detective." He looked at Jim again. "They know how I'll react because I did in the past when I ran into one, Detective Ellison. It's why some Marines are really pissed at me."

"Like a unit?"

"I'm pretty sure the whole military branch," he offered with a smirk. "Because I proved that real men use swords." He walked around him. "Have fun guarding DiNozzo."

"Did you help the girls last night?"

Xander smirked. "No comment."

"I can find those things."

"You have magic? Did it come with the senses?" He grinned. "And I doubt you'll find anything even if you had magic, Detective. I don't want to draw their attention either. I'd hate to lose my temper again."

Ellison nodded. "The city wanted to know."

"Tell them it was one of the girls who wasn't on site yet."

"I'll report what needs to be reported. You, be safe. Let me know if they come for you."

Xander grinned. "I shouldn't need the help, Detective." He looked at his boss. "I saw Finn last night." The supervisor shuddered but nodded, backing away. "They were getting into the detective who lives a few floors up's face and burned his car. I ran Finn off." He grinned. "Is that why you're mad?"

"A few at the bar wanted to know why you let him live."

"I'm waiting on someone to ask me to handle it or hand them over. The local judicial council said I had to wait on that when I asked because I spotted one in town. I pointed out I knew it was their right to get vengeance but I'd gladly gather and hand over. They said someone had to ask."

"I'll make sure they ask," he said with a nod. "Could you?"

"Fuck yes." He smirked at the guy stomping over. "Ask me," he told his supervisor.

"Please capture any Initiative or other like them that you find on this site, Harris." He got out of the way. Xander let out a feral little chuckle and made that guy try to flee. So Xander got to pounce, beat, and incapacitate the guy by breaking a few bones. Then he got off the guy and stood up. "Only Liv's a problem with them. Her brother's one. Not sure if she realizes."

"I'll ask her." He walked off looking happy. "Have a good talk, Detective. If you need Xander, bring him back later please."

"I can do that." He looked at Xander. "We're arresting him."

Xander shook his head. "No you're not." He hauled the guy up and walked him off to his car, tossing him in the trunk. Then he got in to drive him off. He showed up at the Judicial Council for the demon community, walking the guy inside to slam him down in front of them with a grin.

"My supervisor has asked that I take out any that come near my site since Detective DiNozzo got their attention the wrong way with his pack." He stepped back. "Ellison said they arrested nineteen last night who came for DiNozzo. May I help or just cheerlead as you guys get your rightful vengeance?"

The head demon looked at the guy then at him. "Anyone notable?"

"Finn himself."

The demon huffed but nodded. "We'd appreciate putting them under real trial with their memories viewed, Harris."

"Which I fully support. Even if there wasn't a real trial. You guys were the ones harmed and it's my duty to make sure you aren't harmed when you fight back." He bowed slightly and grinned. "Let me know how I can help."

The head demon smiled. "We'll get them to a real trial so no one can complain. Even if most wouldn't if they knew why. We are peaceful." Xander nodded. "You may bring us any one you find and you may cheer us on. They're worried about you."

"I know. And it makes my cold little heart warm up and grow two sizes." He bowed to the ancient female demon coming in. "Matriarch."

"Harris." She looked. "I heard some of them showed up."

"Detective DiNozzo got their attention the wrong way. He tried to do a background check on me apparently." She whined but nodded, patting him on the cheek. "I'll bring any of them that I find here so they can be tried," he told the elder, who nodded. "Though I'm buying pompoms. Cordy would've been proud of me."

"The Messenger probably would be," that matriarch said dryly. "How many more?"

"Ellison said nineteen got arrested but a few weren't. Not sure if Finn himself was one." He stared at her. "Let me know if I need to go guard somewhere like the shelter or the nursery?"

She blinked. "I did not think on that." She and the other elder shared a look. "Go guard the nursery."

"Yes, ma'am. Let me know if I need to move." He walked off to get a few things then went to guard that area from his car hood. He was blatantly drinking Mountain Dew and chewing on jerky. Anyone who knew who he was knew that was a bad sign. A few people showed up but saw him and left quickly. Xander nodded at one. "I'm on guard," he called. "Finn's in town."

That mother stared at him. "We will tell others, Hunter."

"I'm still just Xander, ma'am."

She blinked. "Oh my goddess," she moaned. "Yes, Harris." He grinned and nodded. "We will warn others." She took her kid to do that so they were both safe. Xander relaxed again and went back to hyping himself up in case an attack happened. One did happen, from an angry father. Xander strolled over to stare at him until that guy backed down and fled for his life. Then he grinned at the nursery workers and went back to his car hood. The nursery people called that in, heard why, and made sure he had water later when it'd get warmer.

So when those idiots showed up, they were not pleased. Xander was hyper from his four Mountain Dews. No one really deserved Xander in a hyper, protective snit. Even those ones didn't deserve that level of evil. They felt pity for those people and prayed for their souls to find an afterlife. The local demon judicial council came to pick them up and were amused but a few were upset that they were in bad shape. It'd mean their trials would have to wait for a few days.

Xander grinned at one who looked upset. "They're not that harmed. They're whiners. I've had worse than that and been in battles. I had double that in Uganda."

The demons perked up at that news. It meant the trials could go on almost immediately. Harris had been subtle.

***

Sandburg showed up that night, handing Xander a homemade sandwich, getting a grin and a hug for it. "I knew who you were, Xander," he said quietly.

Xander grinned at him. "You're lucky they didn't come for you. Thanks for lunch, Blair."

"Welcome." He sat on the hood next to him so he could eat. "How many?"

"Eight earlier. They were not amused I had Mountain Dew." He grinned as he ate a bite. "Hmm, good. Thank you."

"Welcome." He looked around then at him. "Are there more?"

"I haven't called. I sent out one tweet to a contact who could warn the girls. Otherwise I haven't had any texts or notifications."

"That's fine. They asked the judge over their bail hearing to hand them over and showed them why. He was not pleased and said it might be double jeopardy but he wasn't sure. He said he'd rule on that tomorrow and they'd be in the jail overnight anyway. The head of Homeland is coming in to see what's going on." Xander shot a paintball at someone's car and they sped off. "Bad?"

"Gang member. I didn't want him involved." He ate another bite. "How many others got found?"

"Seventeen. Including Finn, who is in jail. With his wife." Xander smirked, finishing his lunch. "That's some twisted people. You got a night shift?"

"I'm good until tomorrow night. Not the first time." He looked at him. "You saw the battles, didn't you?"

"I sure did make myself sick with those," he agreed. Then he shuddered. "I'm usually peaceful. I've never seen battles like that. I hope I never have to see them in person." Xander punched him on the arm. "Thank you for that."

Xander shrugged. "Seemed like it was my job since I was there. No one else was and it's not up to little girls to do that job."

"No, it's the right thing to do, but one I couldn't handle myself. Jim either probably." He smiled. "You sure you don't want relieved?"

"Nah. I'm good until tomorrow night. Not my first long haul. My last one was seven months ago." He yawned. "Damn that sandwich was great."

Blair laughed. "I'll have Jim come spell you, Xander. So you can at least get a short nap." He called Jim, who was nearby anyway. Jim showed up to take over the guarding duties for Xander, who did have a nap in the car. He was crashing from the caffeine. Blair helped by keeping Jim centered.

When another gang kid slowly drove past, Blair went to talk to them by getting in the way of their car. "Guys, this is a peaceful community nursery and it's been threatened by dirty agents today," he said, staring at one. "We're on guard so you don't want to be noticed here. It's dirty as anything and not going to get any nicer if they try to attack again." He grinned. "That's why he shot at one of you with a paintball."

"We heard about the crazy white guy from some buddies on the east," the driver said, looking at him. Then at Ellison then back at him. "It's our turf, we can help guard 'em. We don't mind these ones, they're decent beings who just look a bit funny."

"Thanks. I'm sure they'd say the same thing." Blair grinned. "For right now, we've got hella dirty agents. Like the ones that enjoy torturing people and filming it. So be safe?"

"Gladly. You guys too." He drove off once Blair got out of the way, going to tell the others. They wanted Cascade to be in one piece tomorrow. Crazy white detective guy and crazy white hunter guy against dirty agents? Yeah, they wanted to stay hidden. Maybe even take a vacation to Seattle for a weekend.

Blair walked back to join Jim again, getting smirked at. "He does have a reputation as the guy who'll do what he's gotta do. Even if he gets injured. Plenty of times with a battle axe."

"Great." Jim nodded. "I want to know more, Sandburg."

"Just don't tell the girls about him, Jim. They'll lose their minds and sense again. They hate him for being a guy who did the same job."

Jim winced but nodded. "Great. That figures." He looked around again then back at him. "Two agents, building at eleven o'clock, second floor down," he said quietly. Sandburg called that in for him and they got SWAT to help. They claimed they were on duty to stop dirty agents but they couldn't prove it so they got taken in so their boss could sort it out.

The head of the major crimes unit, Simon Banks, a tall, imposing looking African American guy in a sweater vest, stared at one agent he realized was at least a partial demon. "Were you there to back up Harris or Finn?" he asked bluntly.

That agent stared at him. "Hell no I'd never back up Finn." He sneered. "Finn needs to die."

"He's downstairs in a cell with his wife across the hall. Which is why Harris was guarding that building today. You can see why we worry though, with you being from the same agency."

"No, I'm there to guard that nursery and the other peaceful community areas. Most of my team is as well, Captain Banks." He smirked. "Harris is just a joy to us to do our jobs for us until we could get into position. I heard he offered to find pompoms and cheer like his former girlfriend would've after he's brought them to face real justice."

Banks nodded. "I heard the same thing. Your people, if they're guarding places, are to check in with me so I can make sure our officers don't stop the wrong people."

"Gladly." His team looked at him oddly. "We don't want to be mistaken for Finn. Do we?" he asked them. They shook their heads. "Good." He made notes. "The three teams I brought with me. A few others from the FBI and one NSA team are in town. I have no idea who they are or why they're here." He slid the list over. "We're guarding the bigger targets that're easier. Not like those ones would go after harder targets. A nursery's easy."

"Good to know. About what we figured too." He stared at him. "Are they doing this because we discovered Harris is local?"

"No. Someone alerted them that someone was doing a background on Harris and it would trip into their area. Someone really should ask that witch what she was plotting with that move." He smirked at his team, who texted someone. Then he looked at Simon. "That detective who looked him up? He's probably in the most danger."

"He's got a pack."

"That just means they'd consider him a viable target for fun too, Captain. They're just like that."

"We've got people guarding DiNozzo and his pack. And Ellison since he was helping Harris."

The agent who had been texting looked up at him. "We are not stupid enough to step into Harris' face. Especially with the amount of Mountain Dew he had today, Captain." He grinned. "We're stopping the evil and stupid, not that way ourselves. Though I'm shocked you haven't run into his dates recently. They do tend to be at least mildly naughty enough to be on someone's lists."

Simon Banks tipped his head, looking confused. "What now?"

"Oh, you don't know the rules of Xander," the demonic one said dryly with a grin for him. "Let me show you some of his file, Captain. That way you're aware when an arms dealer shows up to take him to dinner but it's interrupted by an attempted assassination of a senator." He showed him Xander's true file from the demon community. Simon read it over then sent it to his computer to show the others who might need to hear.

The agent grinned at that. "We know. We're all very amused by Harris. We love the guy, he causes us no problems and as long as we're not vampires or hurting someone against their will, he'd never touch us. He did nearly get one doing some S&M stuff but he apologized for thinking her screaming was in fear. He had just heard screaming."

"Ellison would do the same thing," Banks said dryly.

"If Xander had senses like Ellison, we'd all be *very* amused. But the higher ups really hate that guy. So it'd be a punishment."

Banks nodded. "So are Ellison's some days." He went over the dossier, and a few videos of the kid yelling at people who got in his way. It had nearly cost them a quarter of Africa's eastern coast. The kid had been right to yell at the people who had stopped him from handling it and then he had made them help instead. So that had worked at least. Harris was a headache for him and his department.

***

Banks got Tony and his top two people, and that one wife, as well as the SWAT bomb guy Joel he had worked with often, and Ellison with Sandburg of course, in to look over that file. It was about two hours after he had gotten done talking with that agent. He got them coffee and let them read it over. Then watch those videos. Melissa and Sandburg got into a few other battle videos. Banks now had a headache and an upset stomach. Damn he felt like he had morning sickness.

Jim blinked a few times. "So he's retired," he said. He handed the tablet to Blair, who put it back into his bag.

"The girls finally drove him off," Melissa said dryly. "He wished them great deaths then hiked off. He disappeared for two weeks, showed up here as a simple construction worker, which he used to be, and apparently thought he could retire fully. He probably would've kept protecting the pack in his building." She looked at Tony, who just nodded while sipping his coffee. "But that got busted. Do we think he'll want to move again?"

"The guy needs a pack of his own," Tony's second-in-command, who used to be an FBI agent, complained.

"Funny you should mention that," Blair quipped with a smirk. "He has been possessed by a primal spirit. Something about a hyena."

Jim sighed. "Why?"

"No idea. Rumors from some of the shaman I keep in touch with, who got it from some overseas the kid worked with. She's still in there, he can pull her up sometimes apparently. All the ones who spread rumors said he wanted control over his few gifts." Jim slumped, considering that. "He's just a weirder version of things.

"He's not a changer. He's not a warrior really. He stepped in because it was the right thing to do and retired when he got tired of people nagging about that." He leaned on the table to look at Tony. "He's probably looking for a pack-like connection. Something to gather around himself for comfort and friendship. I know he's made a few friends."

Tony nodded. "A few," he agreed. "They had a soccer watching party during the world cup last month. Mostly guys he works with."

"We've had him blip onto our radar once," Simon said. "He stopped some guy from raping some girl in a club by way of hit to the skull with a chair or something. The officer was amused and helped Harris get that girl home safely." He looked at his team then at DiNozzo. "He's in your territory, DiNozzo. Not like I don't know that all of your people were formerly agents." He smirked. "Your name's distinctive enough that it came up when I looked you up because you looked familiar."

"They saw my face, didn't hear my name, so I could retire to stay myself, Banks. Gibbs would be livid about any of this."

"Xander did say that the Marines were mad at him," Blair quipped.

"I thought he was exaggerating. Some form of hyperbole."

"Nope," Jim said. "I asked an old Army buddy. He said they're mad that an untrained guy like him took out a battle with a sword when their people couldn't use guns and froze a bit by watching it happen instead of jumping in. He's not the role model they want for their recruits but some are looking up to him. They're livid that *warriors* exist and aren't soldiers."

"Well, by rumors Xander did take out a group trying to get into a refugee camp," Blair offered. "By making the demons attack them instead of the camp for victims."

"That's brutal but yeah, I would've made that choice if it was the only one," Tony decided, frowning. "I should ask Gibbs. Just to listen to the fit he'll throw." He grinned at Blair. "I should ask Abby but I don't want to let her know where I am."

Blair nodded. "I wouldn't either." He patted him on the hand with a smirk. "You know he's got battle burn out. And he's doing our job instead of us."

"I know. I had a weird feeling about him when he moved in. Proved my gut instinct was trained by Gibbs." Melissa laughed at that. "He does go by his." He looked at Banks. "How do we handle this? Beyond getting him calmed down and making sure he doesn't have to hide it when he blows up demons from the building's rooftop?"

"That we appreciate," Banks said. "Though I don't want to know how he got that artillery."

"It's being hidden by magic. He said even if I had magic I probably couldn't find it," Jim said. "Have someone check his arm, DiNozzo. It's got an infection."

"I can do that." He looked at Melissa, who nodded she'd nag him into letting her look. She was a nurse anyway. He looked at Jim again. "Does he have PTSD?"

"Probably," Blair said.

"Could he use being fully retired?"

"Guys like him, and like Jim, they'll be on their death bed and jump in if they feel it's necessary because no one else is," Simon said. Jim glared at him but oh well. "Can we do it for him? Probably. We are officers for a reason."

"He needs to tell us when things are going on," Jim reminded him.

"We can sit him down to talk to him tomorrow," Tony said. "If he's not high on caffeine again. It's nice his file noted not to let him have any or chocolate."

Blair pulled up a video and let them see it. They watched the bouncy, slightly manic warrior with too much caffeine and chocolate in his system handle the battle in the most bouncy, uncoordinated way possible. But it made it impossible to gauge what he'd do to block his actions or orders. Even for those on his side. They clearly didn't like it but all their people had survived with barely any injuries.

Xander planned battles like an older video game or something like a D&D campaign. The ones who had that training winced at all that but yeah, they didn't want the kid to get that hyper again. It was a good warning in his file. They appreciated that one. Blair grinned at Melissa, who grinned back. "He did crash for a bit earlier. I fed him into a nap with a sandwich."

She nodded. "He has a horrible diet. Though some of it's more poverty, whatever you can catch food sometimes. I'm guessing he got used to that over there. He made scorpion gumbo once and offered me some."

Tony shuddered. "Yeah, no thanks." Jim was shaking his head too.

Simon was amused but they had plans on how to calm the poor guy down and let them handle it instead. That way Xander could stay retired.

***

Bomb squad showed up the next morning, looking around then at the guy sobbing on Xander's knees. Joel, the one that worked with Simon the most, took off his hat and rubbed over his bald, dark skin. "Hey, Harris, you ready for a relief team yet?" he called.

"I'm good for a few more hours, but thanks, guys." He grinned. "This is a former contact and he's mad I retired." He shrugged but grinned at the guy, going back to petting him to calm him down. "Did someone call in a threat? I noticed the military-like stuff you guys pulled out."

Joel walked over. "No, we're here to guard this nice nursery area. That way you get some rest. Most of the agents are still in jail and they sure won't show up today on us."

Xander grinned. "I'm actually okay for now. I've done longer."

"Captain Banks found your file." Xander winced. "The one from the peaceful community." Xander winced and shrank down some. "So yeah, we saw you handling battles, kid." He grinned. "I realize they can last for hours but we can take today and you do later?"

"I guess. I mean I'm off work today."

"You can go nap. You only got the lunch nap thanks to Sandburg last night. Plus we have decent agents, who are partially part of the same community helping too." Xander nodded, standing up and putting his gun in the backseat. "I should ask how I didn't notice that but I don't want to know. Or if it's licensed."

Xander grinned. "I have no idea if my old licenses and stuff are still good or not so maybe a nice idea. Thanks!" He looked at his contact. "I'm going to make greasy eggs and take a nap."

"I can help with that," he offered, standing up.

"We need him to get real sleep," Joel ordered patiently but quietly. "We might need him tonight or tomorrow in case those idiots try something." He looked at Xander again. "Go rest. We've got it. DiNozzo has your building secure too."

"Sure. Have fun. Wave at the kids, they love that." He got into his car with his contact, who was very friendly on the way back to his current apartment.

Joel walked back, grinning at his people. "He's going to eat and rest. He said the kids like being waved at."

"That's fine," one of them agreed with a nod. "That's a great thing for a kid. Deploy noticeably but don't look too intimidating." The team broke up to do that and they did wave at the kids coming in, getting smiles and waves back. Though a few felt kind of creepy when one that didn't seem to have a fully defined outline but had tentacles waved back. That one hadn't shown up yesterday.

***
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