Sam walked into the sanctuary and sent Lilith flying with a flick of his hand, slamming her into the altar.

“I've been waiting for this... for a very long time.” He stated, feeling the power surge through his body.

“Then give me your best shot.” The demon taunted and he held his hand up, throwing his power at her but then he stopped and turned towards the closed door, was he hearing something?

“Sam! Sam!” Dean screamed from the other side of the door and Sam frowned in confusion.

“Dean?” he whispered, not sure if he was actually hearing Dean or not. His head and heart were pounding in unison, making it hard to focus.

“What are you waiting for?! Now! Sam, now!” he could vaguely hear Ruby yelling at him but everything felt distant and he didn’t know what to do. But he clearly heard it when Lilith started laughing.

“You turned yourself into a freak. A monster. And now you're not gonna bite? I'm sorry, but that is honestly adorable.” She taunted and he turned back to her, raising his hand again. What he didn’t realise was that as he did so, his eyes turned black. Lilith began to convulse, her body flickering and glowing from inside before she went limp in death.

Sam lowered his hand and stared at the body, his mind reeling. He felt odd....disconnected from everything until he heard Ruby.

“You did it. I mean, it was a little touch-and-go there for a while, but...you did it.” Ruby said as she circled the body. Blood was pouring from it, flowing in what looked like a very deliberate way. Sam watched Ruby, confused and suspicious.

“What? What -- what did I do?” he asked, struggling to focus.

“You opened the door. And now he's free at last. He's free at last!” Ruby told him, reaching out to him and Sam stumbled back.

“No, no, no. No, he -- Lilith -- I stopped her. I killed her!” he mumbled, head pounding.

“And it is written that the first demon shall be the last seal. And you bust her open. Now guess who's coming to dinner.” Ruby told him, smiling widely and Sam’s legs buckled under him.

“Oh, my god.” He whispered and then wiped at his face, his hand coming away bloody.

“Guess again.” She said even as Sam became aware of a pounding sound coming from the door.
“You don't even know how hard this was! All the demons out for my head. No one knew. I was the best of those sons of bitches! The most loyal! Not even Alastair knew! Only Lilith! Yeah, I'm sure you're a little angry right now, But, I mean, come on, Sam! Even you have to admit -- I'm -- I'm awesome!” Ruby boasted and Sam snarled at her, trying to get up.

“You bitch. You lying bitch!” he tried to reach out with his powers but dropped, clutching at his head in agony.

“Don't hurt yourself, Sammy. It's useless. You shot your payload on the boss.”

“The blood... You poisoned me.” He choked and she laughed before kneeling in front of him and reaching out to tip his head up.

“No. It wasn't the blood. It was you... and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly; you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo! I know it's hard to see it now... but this is a miracle. So long coming. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did. Just to get you here. And you were the only one who
could do it.”

“Why? W-why me?” he slurred, fighting to remain conscious.

“Because... because it had to be you, Sammy. It always had to be you. You saved us. You set him free. And he's gonna be grateful. He's gonna repay you in ways that you can't even imagine.” She told him gently even as the door burst inwards. Ruby stood to face Dean as he rushed in.
“You're too late.” She informed him and Dean looked from her to Sam who was crumpled on the ground. Sam barely managed to raise his head enough to look at him.

“I don't care.” He snarled, pulling the knife and rushing at her. She went to move but Sam lunged and latched onto her legs, holding on with all the strength he had left. It kept her still long enough for Dean to stab her. Sam let go and rolled away as she fell to the floor, dead.

Dean stared at her for a moment before looking over at Sam who was lying way to still for his peace of mind. He was by his brother’s side in an instant, kneeling beside him and reaching out with a shaky hand to roll him over. He nearly recoiled as black eyes met his but instead he tightened his grip.

“Sam!” He called and black flickered to hazel briefly.
“Answer me Sammy.” Dean ordered and the black faded.

“D’n.” It was barely a whisper but it was an answer. Dean didn’t know what was happening to Sam, didn’t really want to if he was honest about it but he knew it was partially his fault.

He’d just kept pushing Sam away, leaving Sam with only Ruby to rely on. Yes, he’d been hurt when he’d figured out the girl from the motel was Ruby and that Sam had slept with her but he should have tried to talk to Sam about it instead of hitting him. He hadn’t thought too much about it when they’d found Sam; he’d wanted Sam to move on after his death and at that point it looked like Sam had just been seeking release from some random girl. He could accept that easily, okay with a little jealousy but it was still a million times better than finding out his brother and lover was sleeping with a demon. Sure they’d been together for barely a year but it still hurt to be replaced by one of the things that had spent thirty years ripping him apart! He stared down at Sam, watching as his eyes flickered colours and then reached out to him. Sam flinched slightly and Dean realised it was in fear. That broke his heart; sure he’d been made at the kid but for Sam to be afraid of him? He gently placed a hand against Sam’s face, grimacing as he noticed the blood still leaking from Sam’s nose.

“Shh Sammy, we need to get out of here. Can you help me?” He asked softly and was happy that Sam’s eyes turned hazel as he spoke to him.

“D’n.” Sam whimpered and Dean stroked Sam’s cheek, smiling when Sam leant into his touch.

“I’m here Sam, we need to move kiddo. Think you can stand?” He asked, keeping one eye on the spreading blood pattern nearby. They really needed to get out fast. Sam just stared at him and Dean bit his lip, Sam didn’t really seem to understand anything except the fact that he was there. He sighed and then moved so he had one arm around Sam’s waist and the other gripped Sam’s shirt.
“Okay, up we go.” He muttered, managing to get them both upright. Sam’s legs were like jelly at first but once they were moving Sam started trying to help. Once outside Dean found the only car there and hotwired it once he’d put Sam in the passenger seat. He floored it, watching as the convent was swallowed by a bright, white light behind them. He didn’t care where he was headed, as long as it was far away from where Lucifer was. He kept looking over at Sam who was slumped against the window, head lolling and breathy little moans escaping every few minutes,
“Just hang in there Sammy.” Dean told him, watching as once again Sam’s eyes changed to hazel.
“Come on Sam, talk to me. Let me know you’re in there.” Dean pleaded as they raced down the highway. At least Sam had finally stopped bleeding, that had to be a good thing. The whole flickering eye colour was more than a little freaky but he would deal with it later.
“Come on Sam.” Dean begged, reaching over with one hand to tap Sam’s cheek with his fingers. Sam moaned and seemed to struggle to move.
“Sammy?”

“D’n.” Dean smiled slightly at finally getting a reaction. He saw Sam’s hand twitch and then flop on the seat and lowered his hand to take it, squeezing gently.

“I’m here Sammy, everything’s going to be okay.” He assured Sam, praying it was true. Whatever was happening to him was wrecking havoc with Sam, that much Dean could see. He needed to find them somewhere to hole up fast so he could check Sam over for any other injuries and try to help him with whatever was happening to him. Was it possible that Sam was becoming an actual demon? The black eyes would say yes but Dean had seen souls turn in hell and the fact that Sam reacted to him the way he did would say no.
“Sam do you understand what I’m saying?” He asked as he kept an eye out for somewhere to stop for supplies. He wasn’t going to Bobby’s, it was too far and he wanted to deal with whatever was happening himself, he didn’t want Bobby thinking the worst.

“D’n.” Sam said again but there was something different, almost.....pleading?

“What is it Sammy? Come on kiddo; find some way to tell me.” He felt Sam’s hand spasm in his and then Sam’s grip tightened before Sam was falling forward, half landing in Dean’s lap. Dean barely managed to keep control of the car. Sam turned his head and buried his face in Dean’s shirt. Dean could feel warm liquid seeping through the cloth and he freed his hand from Sam’s to place it on Sam’s head, gently stroking his fingers through Sam’s hair. Sam whimpered, his body jerking slightly as he tried to move even closer so Dean pulled over and then simply pulled Sam into his arms, holding him close. Sam stared up at him but didn’t seem to be quite able to focus, at least when his eyes were hazel. Dean was ignoring the fact that half the time Sam’s eyes were demon black, Sam wasn’t acting like a demon, he was acting like Dean’s terrified and hurt little brother and that was how Dean would treat him. Sam blinked slowly and Dean smiled as he saw Sam’s eyes focus more. Sam whimpered and opened his mouth, trying to talk.
“It’s okay, just take your time, I’m here. I’ve got you.” Dean soothed and Sam managed to raise his hand to Dean’s face. Dean grabbed it, rubbing his cheek against Sam’s palm.

“H...hu.....” Sam choked out and Dean frowned.

“Hurts?” He asked and Sam blinked, his eyes starting to lose focus again.
“Hey!” He shook Sam gently.
“Come on Sammy, stay with me, focus on me.” He pleaded and Sam whimpered but then his eyes went black again.
“Damn it.” He swore softly, before readjusting Sam so he was lying in Dean’s lap, staring up at Dean as he drove. That way Dean could glance down and keep an eye on him while driving and continually talking about anything, wanting Sam to know he was there. He eventually pulled into a closed gas station, it actually looked a lot like the one he’d robbed after digging himself out of his grave, but it wasn’t the exact same one. He parked and then looked down at Sam.
“Hey Sammy, you with me?” He asked and Sam blinked, eyes fading to hazel.
“Hey there kiddo. I need to go get some stuff so I have to leave you in here for a few minutes.” That earnt him a whine of distress and he gently ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, happy that Sam was at least able to understand some of what he was saying.
“It’s okay Sammy; I’ll be back really quickly. But we need food and water.” He gently lifted Sam out of his lap, propping him up in the corner, facing the store.
“I’m going to be right in there, okay? You’ll be able to see me the whole time and then we’ll find some place to hide out till we figure things out.” Sam whimpered again in response, body trembling.

“De’n.” Well that was the most complete word Sam had managed so far, Dean would take that as a good sign.

“Hey.” He whispered, moving so he was in front of Sam, his back against the windshield. It wasn’t comfortable but it beat moving Sam around like he was some sort of doll. He stared into Sam’s eyes, watching as the black faded again.
“I am not leaving you behind. I will be right back and then it’ll be just the two of us again.” Dean whispered, stroking Sam’s cheek before leaning in and kissing him gently. He smiled as he felt Sam’s lips move slightly under his. He knew without a doubt, his brother was still in there no matter what was happening to him. He pulled back and then kissed Sam’s forehead.
“Be right back, promise.” He whispered and then left the car, sprinting over to the shop and quickly breaking in.

Sam felt like he was floating, barely aware of the outside world and alternatively feeling burning hot and freezing cold. He could distantly hear Dean’s voice and tried to respond, able to detect even now the desperation that would creep into Dean’s voice for him to show Dean he was still alive. Sam didn’t know what was happening to him but it scared him and the one time he felt vaguely able to move he managed to get into Dean’s lap, letting his tears soak into Dean’s shirt. He could distantly feel his body being moved and then he realised Dean was holding him close, talking to him. He struggled, fighting to communicate with Dean and he heard Dean telling him to take his time. He thought he managed to tell Dean it hurt but he wasn’t sure even as he heard Dean calling for him to focus on him. He was trying, he really was and then he could vaguely see Dean above him. Dean’s voice was a constant, comforting buzz in the distance and it helped Sam hang on.

He had no idea how long it had been but from how scared Dean seemed Sam knew it had to have been a while and he didn’t seem to be getting better. All he wanted to do was curl up with Dean and say he was sorry, sorry for ever trusting that lying bitch and doubting Dean. He could feel something, oily and dark, creeping through him and it scared him. He knew whatever it was not good but he was powerless to fight it or warn Dean who was trying to get his attention again. He struggled for a bit and then panicked when he heard one word ‘leave’. Dean couldn’t leave him! He struggled to speak, not sure if he managed to call his brother’s name or not. Dean’s face was suddenly there, in front of him and he was dimly aware of Dean’s hand on his face. His features were blurred though so Sam couldn’t read his lips but he could still hear Dean saying something about leaving him and....just them? And then he felt Dean’s lips against his, the strongest sensation he’d felt from the outside world since he’d held Ruby still so Dean could kill her. He tried to respond to the kiss but wasn’t sure if he managed to. Then Dean was gone and Sam could make out a hazy blur heading away. He wanted to scream in pain as what felt like molten lava surged through him, hell for all he knew he was screaming.

Dean grabbed everything he thought they could need and then bolted back to the car only to freeze momentarily in fear as he saw Sam convulsing in his seat. He tore his door open and dumped the stuff in the back before pulling Sam into his arms, trying to hold him still. Sam’s eyes were wide open, black and unblinking even as his head slammed into Dean’s shoulder continuously.

“Sam? Sammy come on. Don’t you do this! Stay with me. You hear me?” Dean yelled, holding Sam as close as he could. Not knowing what else to try and lowered his head and kissed Sam since his brother had tried to respond the last time he did. Sam went limp and Dean nearly pulled away in shock, needing to check Sam’s pulse, but then he felt Sam’s breath against his lips and the softest of movements against his. Sam was trying to kiss him back! He stayed that way for a few more moments and then pulled back, shifting them on the seat so that Sam was comfortably cradled in his arms. Sam’s eyes were still black but at least he’d stopped having a fit or whatever that had been.
“Sam? Can you hear me?” he asked, waiting fearfully for an answer.

“D.....” he was alarmed that was all Sam managed but still smiled at him.

“I’m here kiddo, I’ve got you. You gave me a bit of a fright. We’ll just wait a bit and then we’ll get back on the road, I don’t know about you but I could use some sleep. We’ll have to find somewhere abandoned or something but you don’t worry about that. You just focus on getting better.” Dean explained, trying to stay cheerful and optimistic for Sam’s sake. Sam just considered staring up at him, his eyes not even flickering to hazel and Dean felt fear take hold. Was this still his Sammy he was holding? Or a demon?
“I love you Sammy.” Dean choked out, leaning in to kiss him again and then he moved them around again so he could drive.

TBC...

Dean checked that everything was as safe as he could make it and then got onto the bed, curling around Sam as best as he could considering their height differences. Sam was still trembling but he hadn’t reacted to anything since the gas station. He hadn’t even whimpered when Dean had left him alone on the bed to finish salting all the windows and doors. He’d moved the bed to the most defensible room and had drawn a devils trap around it, not sure if he was trying to keep things out....or in. He held Sam against his chest, inhaling his scent, trying to stay confidant that it was really Sam he was holding. But until Sam decided to talk or even move he had no way of knowing for sure. Meg had fooled him once though, could another demon fool him just as easily? Especially if that demon had been Sam? He shuddered, fighting tears until finally letting exhaustion claim him. They slept peacefully for hours before Sam began to stir and then he pushed himself upright, staring at Dean with black eyes.

He sneered at the human below him, reaching towards its throat and then pain flared through his body and he collapsed beside the human, convulsing in pain.

Dean jerked awake as he felt the mattress moving and then rolled to pin Sam as he convulsed.

“Sam! Sammy come on, look at me kiddo. I’m here; you’re going to be okay.” Dean called, trying to get Sam to focus on him and gradually the kid began to calm down. Dean freed a hand to cup Sam’s face, smiling slightly when Sam leant into the touch.

Sam gasped for air, trying to control his breathing, even as he heard someone talking to him. He felt a gentle touch to his face and instinctively leant into it, knowing the feel of Dean’s hand despite how confused he felt. He felt his breathing start to slow and tried to relax even as he heard Dean’s voice and how frantic he was becoming. Sam swallowed and then forced his eyes open only to find Dean leaning over him. He could see the fear in Dean’s eyes and wanted it to go away; Dean wasn’t meant to be scared.

“Dean.” He forced out of his parched throat and Dean stared at him before smiling slightly.

“Yeah Sammy, I’m here.” Dean answered him and Sam struggled to raise his arm, needing to touch Dean, to reassure his brother that he was okay. He managed to move his hand to sort of flop against Dean and Dean reached out to take it, making Sam smile.
“Sam....you can understand me?” Dean asked quietly and Sam could practically feel his fear. He nodded lethargically, squeezing Dean’s hand as much as he could. Dean sagged in relief and Sam just watched him, confused, tired and sore.

“Wha’ happen’d?” He croaked out and then a water bottle was against his lips. He drank thirstily, happy that it was helping his throat. The bottle was pulled away and then he felt Dean’s arms around him, pulling him to Dean’s chest. He sighed and cuddled in as much as he could; they hadn’t sat like that since.....the night before the Hellhounds came. Sam sighed and reached out shakily to trace Dean’s face, smiling when Dean caught his hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

“How do you feel?” Dean asked and Sam thought about it.

“Tired, sore....kind of odd.” Sam answered.

“Odd how Sam?” Dean asked and Sam realised he was scared again.

“Dean? What’s wrong? What’s going on?” He asked and Dean hugged him close.

“It’s okay Sammy, it’s gonna be okay.” Dean whispered and Sam smiled at him sleepily. He was really very tired but he was forcing himself to stay awake because Dean needed him. He shifted his arm and petted Dean’s head where it was bent against Sam’s chest, happy that he seemed to be gaining more control over his limbs. He shut his eyes, focusing on the last thing he remembered and then trying to go further. He gasped and then he struggled against Dean until he managed to get lose and then pushed Dean down onto the bed, searching for injuries and shaking when he found the marks on Dean’s throat. He didn’t even notice the terrified look in Dean’s eyes as he pinned him down.

“I....” he choked out; horrified by what he’d done to the one person he loved more than anything.
“How could I...sorry, so sorry.” He whispered, feeling a few tears fall.

Dean was terrified as Sam suddenly began to fight his hold and then pinned him to the bed. He couldn’t read Sam’s eyes, they were still demon black, but he’d thought it was okay, that it was still Sammy. He then felt the drops of wetness hit him and Sam’s words made it past his fear. Dean felt something inside him relax at the sight of Sam’s tears, demons didn’t cry. He reached up and pulled Sam close, kissing him gently. Sam struggled slightly and then relaxed, kissing him back.

“It’s okay Sam.” Dean told him when they parted and Sam just stared at him.
“Hey, we fight how often? This one just got a bit out of hand. And it wasn’t just your fault, I should have listened more.” Dean told him and Sam chewed at his lip but nodded slowly.
“Do....do you remember what happened after the fight?” Dean asked and Sam frowned.
“Hey, don’t force it.” Dean told him, reaching up to smooth away the frown lines between Sam’s eyes. Sam lay down; resting his head over Dean’s heart and Dean began to run his fingers through Sam’s hair, making him drift closer to sleep.
“Love you.” Dean whispered and Sam smiled sleepily.

“Love you.” He whispered back before drifting off to sleep.

Dean stayed awake, keeping a loose grip on Sam as he slept. He was confused by what was happening but he was happy that he hadn’t lost Sam. And he wasn’t going to now, no matter what happened he was making sure they stuck together. Things went wrong when they were apart; he’d seen that all too often. He kissed the top of Sam’s head, smiling when Sam snuggled into him in response. Demon eyes or not, he would not abandon Sam and he would fight both hell and heaven to stay with him. He let himself doze lightly, in case Sam needed him but it wasn’t Sam who woke him five hours later.

“Cas?” Dean asked, sitting up but keeping Sam close.

“Dean, were you able to stop it?” Castiel asked, moving closer but then he stopped, frowning as he studied the trap around the bed. He then looked back at Dean who held Sam closer, ready to protect him even from Castiel.

The angel took another step forward and suddenly Dean found himself shoved back on the bed and then he realised there was a snarling noise in front of him. Dean blinked and then stared at the sight of Sam crouched in front of him, literally snarling at Castiel who was staring in horrified surprise. Dean shook his head and then moved, wrapping his arms around Sam’s chest but left the kids arms free so he didn’t feel trapped.

“Shh Sammy, its okay. It’s Cas Sam, you know Cas, he’s not gonna hurt us.” Dean soothed, nuzzling at Sam’s neck to try and calm him down, smiling slightly when it seemed to work and Sam began to quiet.
“That’s it, come on back Sammy. I need you.” Dean whispered and Sam slowly began to relax into his arms. Castiel took another step and Sam went off again.
“Damn it Cas, stay back for now.” Dean snapped, wrapping himself tighter around Sam.

“Dean that is a demon.” Castiel told him, frowning at the sight of what had once been Sam Winchester. The snarl he got for that did not come from the demon.

“He was fine before you showed up.” Dean said and then paused, wriggling around so he could look into Sam’s black eyes. He gently cupped Sam’s face and then kissed him, ignoring Castiel’s staring. Sam slowly went limp under him, kissing him back.
“That’s it Sammy, everything’s okay.” Dean soothed, slowly letting Sam up. Sam pushed Dean behind him but didn’t snarl at the angel so it was an improvement. Dean looked between the two and then it clicked.
“He’s scared and trying to protect me Cas. Are you like radiating angel energy or something? Maybe that’s setting him off.” Dean said, rubbing Sam’s back to keep him calm. Castiel stared at them and then shielded his Grace as much as he could, watching as Sam slowly relaxed.
“Okay, now try moving closer, very slowly.” Castile did that and while Sam seemed to be growling softly he didn’t try to attack.
“That’s good Sammy.” Dean whispered and Sam turned his head enough to see Dean as well as Castiel. When Castiel stepped inside the trap the growling got a bit louder but Dean just moulded himself to Sam’s back and he calmed a bit.

“What happened Dean?” Castiel asked, staying just out of grabbing range of the new demon.

“By the time I broke the door in Lilith was dead and Sam was on the floor. Ruby was gloating so I attacked her and Sam managed to grab onto her legs so she’s dead for good. Sam was pretty out of it and his eyes kept going form black to normal. I got us out of there as fast as I could. Sam was in pain, couldn’t focus but he was aware enough to know I was there, kept trying to say my name. He managed to focus once, even managed to get across that he was in pain. Then we stopped off at a gas station for supplies and he understood that I was leaving him alone, seemed to panic a bit until I said I would be back several times. I um kissed him and he responded but....he was having some sort of seizure or something when I came out. He calmed down but.....his eyes haven’t even flickered since then. He woke up hours ago and he was Sam, Cas. Demons don’t cry and he was, he was sorry for the fight we had before I got sent to a certain room. He didn’t remember anything after that though.” Dean explained and Castiel frowned, not sure what was happening. Sam felt like a demon to him but Dean was right, demons did not cry. Castiel thought for a second and then moved, Sam barely managed to snarl before he was lying limp in Dean’s arms.
“What the hell!” Dean pulled Sam further away from Castiel who simply raised his hands in surrender.

“He is simply asleep Dean.” Castiel assured him as Dean gently laid Sam back on the mattress, pushing Sam’s hair off of his face. Sam’s face was relaxed in sleep, his pulse steady so Dean relaxed and looked at Castiel. Castiel surprised him by sitting down on the edge of the bed, looking tired.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, suddenly realising that Castiel had been left to deal with an angry Archangel.

“I should be dead, I was dead and then I was back. I know no angel did it which leaves only....”

“God? Wow. Glad you’re back...as long as you don’t plan to hurt Sam.” Dean was happy Castiel was alive, the angel knew that, but he also knew that if he tried anything against Sam, Dean would do everything he could to stop him.

“May I take a look at him? It would be better to know what is happening to him.” Castiel said and Dean frowned but nodded, taking one of Sam’s limp hands in his own. Castiel placed a hand on Sam’s forehead and closed his eyes. When he pulled back he simply stared at Sam.

“Well?” Dean pushed after nearly three minutes of silent staring. Castiel then turned to stare at him before shaking off his shock.

“He is a demon.” Castiel started and Dean tightened his grip on Sam’s hand.
“But....” Castiel paused and Dean felt some of his dread ease, in this case a ‘but’ was very good.

“But what Castiel?” Dean demanded and the angel blinked, it was very rare for either Winchester to use his full name.

“Demons are full of rage and hate, Sam is not. Yes they are present but so is his love for you. You were right; he was scared I would hurt you, that was why he was acting so hostile. He is....unbalanced at the moment, that is why he is only sometimes lucid, the rest of the time his instincts are in control. He will stabilise if the two parts can merge completely but...there is no way to know what will end up dominant.” Castiel warned him and Dean reached out to pull Sam into his arms again.

“If they don’t merge?” Dean asked, kissing Sam’s temple.

“It could tear his mind apart.” Castiel stated and Dean closed his eyes.

“What can I do?” He whispered, holding Sam close.

“Other than what you have already done? I do not know. If I attempt anything it will only cause him pain.” The angel admitted and Dean nodded.

“Okay, could you wake him up and then wait in the other room? Or go make sure Bobby’s okay? He seems calmer when it’s just us.” Dean said and Castiel nodded, touching Sam’s face briefly and then he vanished. Sam shifted in his sleep and then black eyes opened sleepily. Dean smiled down at him and Sam smiled back before yawning.
“Hey Sammy, how’re you doing?” He asked and Sam blinked before struggling to sit up.
“Whoa, take it easy. Let’s do this nice and slow kiddo. Feel up to talking to me?” Dean said, helping Sam sit up. Sam looked at him and then around the room.

“Where?” Sam whispered and Dean was happy it was a coherent moment.

“Safe Sammy, warded the place myself. How do you feel?” Dean asked and Sam shrugged.

“Tired, confused.”

“I know, but it’s gonna be okay.” Dean told him, reaching out and Sam flung himself into his open arms.
“Hey, we’re alright.” Dean soothed, petting the shaggy brown hair.

“Dean what’s going on? I feel weird.” Sam admitted and Dean nodded.

“I know Sammy.” Dean told him and Sam raised his head to stare at him.
“Do....do you remember more than the fight in the hotel?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head. Dean shifted so he was leaning against the wall behind the bed and then pulled Sam into his lap. Sam sighed, cuddling in. Dean wasn’t going to complain about Sam being cuddly, not with the talk that was coming. He didn’t think Sam was going to take the news well and the last thing he needed was for that rage and hate to come out and be aimed at the only target around, Dean. He prayed Sam’s love for him was enough to fight that back.
“I love you Sammy, I....I’m sorry for how things have been since I came back. We both messed up but I should have listened more, should have trusted you.” Dean told him softly.

“What happened to no chick-flicks? Dean what’s going on? You’re scaring me.” Sam said, trying to sit up but Dean held him close. Dean kissed him and Sam relaxed, kissing him back. Sam stared up at him and Dean could see fear and love in his eyes, despite the fact they were still black.

“I need you to stay calm and just listen, okay?” Dean asked and Sam swallowed but nodded slowly. Dean ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, wanting to help him calm down.
“First off Lilith’s dead, you killed her.” Dean said and Sam’s eyes widened.

“I....I did it? I killed her?” Sam asked and Dean nodded sadly.
“Why aren’t you happy?” Sam asked and Dean sighed.

“Because Ruby and the angels tricked everyone. Lilith.....she was the last Seal Sammy, Lucifer’s out.” Dean admitted and Sam shook his head.

“No, no, no. I can’t have......did.....did I know?” Sam asked shakily and Dean hugged him.

“No Sam, you didn’t know till after. Ruby started gloating about it, I could barely here her threw the door and I heard you denying it. You thought you were saving us all when you killed her.” Dean told him and Sam nodded.

“Do...do you hate me?” Sam whispered and Dean tightened his grip.

“No Sammy, I love you. I’m never leaving you again, I promise.” Dean told him and Sam stared at him. Sam reached up to trace his face and Dean leant into the touch. Sam was surprised Dean would let him touch him at all after what Dean had told him had happened and Sam had the feeling the worst was yet to come.

“Dean, is something wrong with me?” Sam asked and Dean froze. Sam forced himself to take a deep breath and not panic at Dean’s reaction, no matter how badly he wanted to. Was he dying?
“Am I dying?” he whispered and Dean shook his head.

“No. I told you, you’re gonna be okay.” Dean stated and Sam nodded, relaxing a bit. It was good to know he wasn’t leaving Dean anytime soon.

“Then what’s wrong with me?” He asked and Dean leant down to kiss him before holding up his knife so that Sam could see his own face. Sam froze, staring in horror at his eyes before he screamed, reaching up to claw at them.

“Sammy no! Calm down, its okay.” Dean yelled, rolling to pin him down, holding his hands above his head. Sam slammed his eyes shut, not wanting Dean to see the evidence of what he’d done to himself.
“Sam come on, open your eyes kiddo.” Dean whispered and Sam shook his head, finally going limp under Dean. He choked back a sob, horrified at what he’d become and sad that Dean would have to kill him. No, he’d kill himself to spare Dean the pain.
“Sammy its okay, I’m not gonna hurt you and I won’t let anyone else.” Dean soothed and Sam whimpered.

“Should, I’ll do it myself, just give me the knife and go.” Sam whispered and Dean chuckled.

“See? Do you think a demon would be offering to kill itself? You’re still my Sam.” Dean said and Sam cracked open an eye to see Dean smiling softly at him.
“It’s okay Sam.” Dean repeated and then he moved one hand to gently cup Sam’s cheek. Sam let out a half sob, half hiccup but leant into his hand.
“You helped me kill Ruby by holding her still even though you were barely conscious. When I got to you your eyes were black but I knew it was you because of the way you reacted. You were really out of it though, were the whole way here. At that point your eyes were flickering between hazel and black, when I talked to you they tended to change to hazel. Then I had to stop and grab supplies, I came back out to you having some sort of fit, your eyes have been black since. You kept trying to talk but it seemed all you could say was my name and not even that fully but you reacted to my touch, even tried to kiss me back when I kissed you. Does that sound like a demon to you?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head.
“Not to mention the fact you were just crying and let’s face it, demons can’t cry like that. You got a bit....wild when Cas showed up but it was because you were scared and trying to protect me. You calmed down when he reined in the grace. He knocked you out for a bit so he could take a look at what’s going on.” Dean explained and then slowly let go of Sam’s wrists. Sam wriggled a bit but didn’t try to fight again, instead he tentatively wrapped his arms around Dean who smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss, shifting a bit so that he wasn’t pinning Sam down anymore.

“What did he find? Am I.....am I going to change?” Sam asked and Dean sighed.

“He said you’re a demon now but not like them. Yeah, you got some of the rage and all but you’ve always had a pretty explosive temper when something really sets you off. Want to know the big difference between you and demons though?” Dean asked and Sam nodded.
“You still love, demons can’t do that. Lust yeah but not love.” Dean told him and Sam nodded quickly.

“Love you.” Sam mumbled and Dean grinned, kissing him again.

“I know Sammy, love you too.” He assured him and Sam stared up at him.

“Even.” He tried but he couldn’t finish the question.

“Even with this. I made a promise while you were out of it. I promised that not even heaven or hell would keep us apart and I meant it Sam. And I know I’m being really mushy and girly which is usually your job but after this last year I figure I can do it this once.” Dean grumbled the last bit and Sam smiled at him. Sam hesitantly moved his arms to rub at Dean’s upper arms and Dean grinned at him.
“There is one other thing Cas found that you need to know.” He said, giving Sam a quick kiss.

“What?” Sam asked, going to remove his hands but Dean stared at him so he left them there.

“Well apparently you’re not exactly balanced at the moment. When you’re awake there are times you’re like this, yourself and talking and everything. Other times you’re more.....Cas said it’s instincts in control. That’s how you were when he was in here.” Dean explained awkwardly.

“Did I hurt you?” Sam asked, horrified but Dean shook his head.

“You were snarling and growling at Cas while keeping me safely behind you. Even then you were trying to protect me, despite the fact that you were scared of him your first act was to put yourself between me and danger. You still reacted to my voice and touch but sort of....like a puppy.”

“Gee thanks.” Sam mumbled and Dean smirked.

“He did say that you’ve got to merge the two or....”

“Or?” Sam pushed.

“You could go mad.”

“Great, no pressure there.”

“Still wouldn’t leave you.” Dean promised, smiling when Sam relaxed a bit more. And then he grinned.

“What?”

“Your eyes flickered hazel for a second. Maybe once your all merged you’ll be able to control that.” Dean said and Sam groaned.

“I better or I’ll be buying shares in a sunglasses company. Just because you’re not freaking out....Bobby! Is he okay?” Sam asked and Dean nodded.

“Angels yanked me from his place but yeah, he was okay when they did. Pissed off at me though.”

“Why? I’m the one that knocked him out.”

“He forgave that, knew it was the withdrawal. He got mad I gave you the same ultimatum Dad did and he was right to be mad. I should never have said. I just.....I thought maybe it’d make you stay. I was pissed that you would go with Ruby over me and scared that if you killed Lilith I’d lose you for good. I...I’m sorry.” Dean admitted and Sam reached up to touch his cheek before lifting his head to kiss him.

“I’m sorry too. I was so strung out......I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Sam said and Dean smiled.

“I know. You hungry or anything? It’s been at least a day since you ate.” Dean said and Sam’s stomach growled on queue making Sam blush and Dean laugh. He rolled off Sam and the bed and then offered a hand. Sam took it and followed Dean only to slam into an invisible wall a few inches from the bed.

“Dean?” And then he looked down and gasped.
“No.” Sam whispered and Dean looked at the devil’s trap Sam was trapped in. He quickly broke the line and tugged Sam across, pulling him into a hug.

“It was a precaution in case we were tracked here.”

“And in case I tried to hurt you.” Sam whispered sadly.

“I didn’t think you would Sam but it was safer with both of us sleeping, was never going to keep you in it.” Dean promised and Sam nodded, still looking miserable so Dean kissed him again. They’d kissed more in the last hour than they had all year Dean realised and then he decided that had to change. Sam had to know Dean loved him, even if he only showed it in private.
“Come on, we both need food.” Dean led him to where he’d put the supplies and they dug in, Dean teasing Sam over his reaction to some of it. Demon or not Sam was still a health food nut.

TBC....

Dean had to coax Sam into eating a full meal but he relaxed a bit when Sam finally finished. He then pulled Sam into his arms, holding him close as they sat in the empty room. Sam sighed, slowly relaxing in his arms and Dean leant down to kiss Sam’s forehead. Sam looked up at him and smiled ever so slightly.

“How do you feel?” Dean asked and Sam shrugged, closing his eyes to hide the black.
“Hey, come on Sammy, look at me.” Dean called and Sam slowly opened his eyes.

“How can you look at me?” Sam whispered and Dean smiled.

“Because you’re my Sam. This last year……a lot of mistakes were made, by both of us. No matter what happens Sam I will not abandon you. I love you.” Dean whispered because he knew Sam needed to hear it. He held Sam tight; making sure Sam couldn’t turn away. Sam sagged in his arms, finally cuddling closer to Dean.

“What if I hurt you?” Sam asked shakily and Dean kissed his lips.

“You won’t. Even at your most demonically feral all you’ve done is try to protect me. I trust you Sammy, it’ll be okay.” Dean assured him and Sam nodded, not sure he believed but willing to trust Dean. He yawned but fought it, he didn’t want to go to sleep, he was scared that when he woke up he’d be the way Dean had described, animal like, running on instinct.
“Tired?” Dean asked, concerned and Sam shook his head.

“I’m fine.”

“Right. So what, you were just stretching your jaw?” Dean asked and Sam looked away.

“I can’t sleep, I can’t. I don’t want to wake up and…..and be that.” Sam admitted and Dean nodded.

“But you can’t stay awake all the time either. You’ve been sleeping a lot for a reason. Sleep helps healing Sam, you know that. Maybe it’ll help you balance out too.” Dean offered and Sam shook his head, yawning again.
“I promise Sam, I won’t let anything happen to you.” Dean told him and Sam sighed but got to his feet. Dean let him lead the way back into the bedroom, watching as Sam clambered back onto the bed. He went to follow but Sam stopped him.
“What?”

“Fix the trap Dean.” Sam told him.

“You think we’ve been followed?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head.

“Fix it.” Sam said and Dean realised why he was insisting.

“We don’t need it Sammy, I told you, you won’t hurt me.” With that Dean got on the bed and pulled Sam into his arms, kissing him softly.
“Now get some sleep, I’ll still be here when you wake up.” Dean ordered and Sam sighed but settled down in Dean’s arms, his head over Dean’s heart, letting the steady beat slowly lull him to sleep.

When Dean woke up he found his arms empty and the other side of the bed cold. He shot upright and then blinked at the markings drawn on the walls; he didn’t recognise any of them. He relaxed when he saw Sam sitting on the floor, scribbling on the wall; at least he knew where all the writing had come from.

“Sammy?” He called out and Sam turned towards him, eyes still pitch black.
“Hey, watcha doing?” He asked, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and Sam stood up, walking towards him. His silence was all Dean needed to realise Sam wasn’t coherent. He stayed still and relaxed, not wanting to agitate Sam. He smiled at Sam as he came to a stop, holding out his hands to his little brother. Sam stepped between Dean’s legs slowly and Dean put his hands on Sam’s hips, leaving his legs still so Sam wouldn’t feel trapped. Sam cocked his head, just watching him and Dean smiled. Sam smiled back at him and Dean tugged him even closer, Sam letting him. He tugged again and Sam went down, moving so that he landed straddling Dean, who brought his legs together to make a seat for Sam. Sam just blinked; looking a little unsure and Dean reached up to cup Sam’s face, making Sam sigh and lean into his touch.
“Wish you could talk like this kiddo, would really like to know what you’ve been drawing.” Dean said but Sam just stared at him, not understanding what Dean had said. Dean lay back, pulling Sam with him and Sam smiled, kissing Dean awkwardly. Dean laughed and kissed Sam back, gently coaxing Sam into deepening the kiss. Sam responded eagerly and Dean scooted them back further onto the bed. He broke the kiss and pulled Sam into his arms fully. He felt Sam tense and kept still until Sam slowly relaxed, black eyes staring at him.
“Can you try to talk Sammy? Do you understand anything I’m saying?” Dean whispered but he could tell Sam didn’t understand anything except his own name.
“Sam.” Dean said and he smiled as Sam’s focus narrowed to him only. Yep, the kid definitely knew his own name still, that was good, but even a pet bird could be taught to answer to its name.
“Dean.” Dean told him, taking Sam’s hand and placing it on his own chest.
“I’m Dean; can you try to say it?” He asked and Sam frowned. Dean sighed and reached out to gently stroke his fingers through Sam’s hair, making Sam practically pur.
“Its okay, guess you’re not ready to try something like that yet.” Dean told him and Sam shifted around. Dean loosened his grip to see what he’d do and was amused when Sam changed their positions so that he was the one holding Dean. Obviously the demon in him saw itself as the more powerful and therefore the protector. Sam began petting his hair in return and Dean smiled but let him, he figured fighting Sam over it would just upset the kid and risk all the rage Cas said Sam held now being aimed at him. He honestly didn’t think Sam would ever hurt him but accidents did happen. Besides Sam’s hand in his hair felt very nice, nice enough that Dean found himself drifting off to sleep again.

Sam stared at the man sleeping in his arms, he knew this one was his to protect. The glowing thing from before was gone and he had made sure they were safe. His human hade made a lot of funny noises when awake, he didn’t know what they were but he knew Sam and Sammy were for him. He hugged his human close, closing his eyes to fight down the rage that screamed at him to go out and kill; he would not leave him alone. They could go when he woke up. He needed to do something to let the rage out and soon but he wouldn’t hurt this one, he’d never hurt this human. He suddenly looked over and snarled at the doorway, sensing the glowing thing again. It stopped as it hit what he’d drawn and he felt a flash of satisfaction, he was protecting his human from everything and anything.

Castiel stopped as he ran into some sort of ward in the doorway. He looked into the room and saw Sam awake on the bed, snarling softly at him and Dean asleep beside him. Sam moved to crouch, his body firmly between Castiel and Dean. Castiel just stared at the demon, searching the black eyes for anything of Sam. All he saw was an animal, scared but willing to fight him to protect Dean. But Sam had reacted when Dean talked to him last time….

“Sam? It is alright, I’m not here to hurt you. It’s Castiel, do you remember me?” Castile called softly, pulling his Grace back, something that was getting easier to do since he’d died; his connection to Heaven was all but gone after all. He had to be careful of how much power he used now since it wouldn’t automatically replenish. Sam had at least paused in his snaring when Castiel had called his name; hopefully that was a good sign. Castiel looked around the walls of the room and saw all the symbols drawn, realising that those were what were keeping him out of the room.
“Sam can you understand me?” Castiel called again and Sam slowly got off the bed, moving a few steps closer to him, head tilted curiously.

Sam moved cautiously towards the glowing thing but it wasn’t glowing much anymore. He was glad, the glow hurt! But it kept saying Sam, just like his human did. Sam growled, scared that this thing would try to hurt his human, but it stayed where it was. It kept calling him and he tried to understand what it wanted. Why wasn’t it attacking or running?

“It’s alright Sam; I won’t hurt you or Dean.” Castiel called out again and Sam took another step towards him, obviously confused. And Castiel realised why, fight or flight instinct. He couldn’t understand why Castiel was not attacking or fleeing. There had to be some way to reach Sam’s rational mind but how?

“Sammy?” A groggy voice called and Sam turned to the bed. Dean sat up to see Sam hovering uncertainly between the bed and the door where Castiel was standing.
“Cas? What’s going on?” Dean asked as he slid off the bed, walking over to join Sam who made sure Dean was protected by his body.

“The symbols Sam has drawn on the walls are keeping me out of the room. Though he has stopped snarling at me. I believe he is confused by my actions as I keep talking to him instead of either attacking or leaving.” Castiel explained and Dean pulled Sam into his arms, nuzzling at his neck, smiling when Sam relaxed a bit in his arms.

“You hiding your Grace?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded.
“Okay, let’s try to get Sam closer, show him you’re not here to hurt anyone.” Dean said, gently tugging at Sam to get him to move.
“It’s okay Sammy, Cas is a friend.” Dean assured Sam who took a small step towards the angel.
“That’s it, its okay.” Dean kept up the soothing talk, frequently saying Sam’s name, as they slowly made their way closer to the angel. But Sam stopped in the doorway, obviously where the protections he’d put up ended.
“Back up a bit Cas.” The angel obeyed and Dean faced Sam, cupping his face in his hands.
“I know you aren’t really understanding anything I say Sammy but you know I’d never let anyone hurt you. I know you know that.” Dean smiled when Sam leant into his touch, rubbing his cheek against Dean’s hand.
“That’s it Sammy, it’s okay.” Dean whispered taking that last step and Sam followed him before he realised what he’d done. Sam froze and then snarled at Castiel and both men could feel the demonic power coming from Sam. Dean grabbed him and did the one thing he could think of to calm Sam down, he kissed him. Sam struggled a bit but Dean clung to him, kissing him until Sam finally started returning the kiss.

And the whole time Dean was moving backwards, moving them closer to Castiel who couldn’t help watching them. The poor angle really didn’t know what to think of their relationship. Heaven had been aware of it when they had sent the Garrison to rescue Dean from hell but when Dean and Sam hadn’t done anything more than hug on their reunion it was believed that the stay in hell had made Dean afraid of the consequences of continuing their relationship. Castiel had seen the hurt and pain in Dean’s eyes when he had realised Sam was sleeping with the demon Ruby and had known then….nothing had changed Dean’s feelings for his brother. Everything he knew as an angel said to stop them, that what they were doing was wrong…..but did he have the right anymore? He had disobeyed for Dean, he was Falling because of the Winchesters was that any better than what they had together? He stayed still as the two stopped only a few streps from him and Dean broke the kiss but stayed with his arms around Sam who stared at Castiel with wide black eyes and Castiel could see Sam’s fear in them, despite the colour.

“Easy Sammy, you know I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Dean whispered gently and Sam’s eyes locked on him. Sam made a little noise, the first noise other than snarls or growls he’d made and Dean took it as a good sign, especially since the noise sounded questioning.
“Cas don’t move.” Dean whispered and then he tugged at Sam’s hand, raising it closer to the angel who tensed a little but did as asked. Sam tried to pull his hand out of Dean’s grip and while demons were stronger than humans Sam was restricted by his need to protect and not hurt Dean. It was only because Sam wasn’t truly fighting him that Dean managed to place Sam’s hand on Castiel’s shoulder. Sam froze, eyes wide and breathe coming in frightened gasps, but Castiel stayed still.

“I will not hurt you or Dean, Sam.” Castiel stated quietly and Sam frowned but then bit his lip, staring at Castiel’s face. Dean slowly let go of Sam’s hand and was happy when Sam didn’t remove his from Cas’ shoulder. Instead Sam slowly raised it to touch Castiel’s face, tracing his features. Sam looked at Dean and then back at Cas and relaxed.
“Sam?” Castiel whispered and Sam smiled at him.

“I think, maybe he recognises you?” Dean said and Castiel nodded. He smiled at Sam who smiled happily back and then grabbed Castiel’s hand, dragging him to the bedroom.
“Sam?” Dean questioned but followed, seeing Castiel brace himself as they reached the doorway but to their surprise he easily walked into the bedroom.
“Huh. Didn’t they stop you before?”

“Yes, perhaps because Sam was the one to bring me inside?”

“Sounds good to me.” Dean answered as Sam pushed Castiel down onto the bed and then dragged Dean over too. Dean sat on the bed and Sam smiled again, getting onto the bed in-between them and then he curled up.

TBC…

Sam moaned as he woke, forcing himself to sit up and look around, only to stare in shock. The room was covered in weird symbols……..and Castiel was lying on one side of him with Dean on the other. What the hell had happened?

“Sam?” Castiel called softly and Sam looked down at him, swallowing to moisten his dry throat.

“What happened?” Sam asked, seeing Castiel relax a little. Obviously his eyes were still black if Cas wasn’t sure about talking to him.

“Dean believes that your more instinctual half either recognised me or at least accepted I was not a threat. Once that happened you dragged me through the wards and decided all three of us needed to sleep. I did try to leave however I seem unable to get through the wards without you.”

“Huh, so did I…?” Sam gestured at all the symbols on the walls and Castiel nodded.
“Guess it’s good to know I’m still protective when I’m….like that.” Sam whispered and Castiel sat up.

“You have not attempted to harm anyone. Yes when Dean got you out of the room and closer to me you started gathering energy for an attack however Dean was able to calm you down rather easily.”

“Oh. I’m sorry though for trying.” Sam whispered and Castiel laid his hand on the young…demons shoulder.

“You did nothing wrong Sam, you were trying to protect yourself and Dean. I knew that.” The angel assured him and Sam nodded, bringing his knees up to his chest.

“Can….Is there anyway to reverse…..” Sam whispered and Castiel shook his head.

“No angel can make a demon human. Perhaps God….I am sorry.”

“Great. Maybe….you should take Dean to Bobby’s and leave me the knife.” Sam whispered and Castiel’s eyes went wide. Surely Sam was not contemplating that? That was when he realised Dean was awake because the only human in the room suddenly moved, wrapping his arms around Sam and cradling the demon close.

“Don’t you dare!” Dean spat, green eyes blazing with anger and fear. He let go with one hand to gently grasp Sam’s chin when Sam tried to look away.
“You are not killing yourself! You do and I find a way to follow, got it? I am not losing you Sammy.” Dean snapped and black eyes stared up at him in shock before flickering to hazel and Dean smiled softly at the sight.
“I love you Sam, I am not sticking around without you, understand?” Sam nodded slowly, eyes still hazel and Dean’s heart soared. He loosened the other arm around Sam, moving his hand to gently rub Sam’s back, soothing him.
“Think you could give us some time Cas?” Dean asked and then angel nodded. Sam pulled out of Dean’s arms and Dean frowned.

“Apparently I need to let him out.” Sam answered, shrugging embarrassedly. He let Cas out and the angel vanished, leaving Sam alone in the doorway.

“Come here Sammy.” Dean called when it became apparent that Sam was just going to stay where he was. His eyes were flickering between hazel and black and Dean was hoping that was a good sign. He tugged Sam down onto the bed and gently kissed him. Sam melted into the kiss, letting Dean take the lead. Dean could tell Sam was still afraid of hurting him and wanted to roll his eyes or tell the kid off again but instead he decided to give him proof. Dean rolled them so Sam rested on top of him and then kissed him again. Dean moved his hands, pushing Sam’s shirt up until Sam took the hint and yanked it off, Dean removing his own at the same time. Dean ran a hand over Sam’s tattoo and Sam looked down at it.

“How….” Sam mumbled and Dean kissed him.

“Well you’re not possessed are you? You just….changed so it probably had nothing to stop.”

“I’m so sorry Dean, I should have listened. How can you still want me like this?” Sam asked and Dean reached up to gently wipe the tears away.

“I’ll always want you Sammy. This year….it’s not your fault and it’s not mine. We had Heaven and Hell manipulating us, they’re the ones to blame. Please Sam.” Dean whispered and Sam stared at him before smiling softly and leaning down to kiss him. Dean tugged him closer, lining their bodies up even as he shifted his hips. Sam gasped and then moaned, hesitantly moving to press against Dean and Dean grinned as he panted, Sam’s eyes were the hazel he knew so well.

“What?” Sam asked and Dean reached up to trace his face.

“Your eyes are normal.” He answered and Sam smiled before leaning down to kiss him again.

Dean moved his hands to Sam’s belt and Sam hesitated before nodding. They rolled around as they stripped off the rest of their clothes, laughing and teasing as they enjoyed the feel of skin against skin for the first time in almost a year. Every time he ended up on top Dean just kissed Sam and then rolled them back while trying to kick off his stubborn clothes. Dean gently held Sam’s hips as they moved, kissing him all the time, only pausing so they could breath. With everything that had happened, all the pent up emotion it didn’t take long until Sam collapsed on top of him, panting for air. He tried to roll off but Dean held him still, needing to feel Sam was with him and Sam let him but shifted a bit so Dean wasn’t being squished.
“I love you Sammy.” Dean panted and Sam lifted his head, hazel eyes shining with love and exhaustion.

“Love you Dean.” Sam whispered and Dean smiled, holding Sam close as they drifted off to sleep.

```````````````````````````````````````````````````
Dean tossed an M&M at Sam who glared but caught it, popping it in his mouth and making Dean pout. Sam smiled at that and Dean grinned back, happy that Sam was a lot more relaxed now and hey, his eyes were still hazel and he was coherent. Maybe things had stabilised? Sam reached over and stole a handful but tossed Dean a can of Coke. Dean rolled his eyes but drank it. He hadn’t grabbed any alcohol in his mad supply shop, he’d wanted a fully clear head to deal with what was happening with Sam, but now he really wanted a beer. Sam went for another handful but Dean grabbed his hand and yanked Sam into his side, holding him there until Sam relaxed against him, head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean reached up to run a hand through Sam’s hair even as he grabbed some more candy, popping it into Sam’s mouth.

“You trying to give me a sugar high?” Sam asked in amusement and Dean grinned.

“Maybe…..” He answered and Sam laughed, moving his head to kiss the side of Dean’s neck.

“This is nice.” Sam admitted and Dean nodded, leaning his head back against the wall.
“We can’t stay forever though.”

“I don’t know, those wards or whatever you did seem to be keeping everything out, we have food and water…”

“The world possibly ending around us? Bobby most likely freaking out because we’re missing?” Sam continued and Dean sighed.

“Sam….we’re not leaving yet, not till….”

“Not till you’re sure I’m not going to go psycho killer?” Sam mumbled, trying to pull away but Dean held on, kissing the back of Sam’s neck.

“I know you’re not going to kill anyone Sam. I just want to be positive you’re okay. You’ve only slept once without waking up to your…other half in control. So we need to give it a few more times to make sure you’re all balanced and stuff. Besides with the year we’ve had we both need the down time. Just a little longer Sam.” Dean whispered and Sam sagged in his arms, nodding.

“Okay.” He mumbled, letting Dean tug him back into his side. Sam sighed but curled up, lying down to put his head in Dean’s lap.

“It’ll be okay Sam, Cas would have let us know if anything really bad had happened.”

“I know you’re right. I just…..I hate feeling like a liability.”

“You’re not.” Dean answered and Sam huffed.

“Right….so the fact I got caught in that devil’s trap? Lets face it, I’m going to be a nuisance on demon hunts.”

“So you’ll have to watch where you walk more, it doesn’t matter, we’ll adapt.”

“Fine but you’re calling Bobby. I go to his place and get trapped and he’ll shoot me.” Sam grumbled and Dean hit him lightly.

“Bobby won’t shoot you.”

“Even after…..”

“He knows it wasn’t your fault, it was the addiction talking. You want me to call him?” Dean asked and Sam nodded so Dean got his phone out and then swore as he noticed all the missed calls form Bobby.

“You turned it off didn’t you?” Sam asked and Dean nodded so Sam laughed. Dean smiled, happy that Sam was able to laugh again. It was kind of odd to think that since becoming a demon Sam was acting more like the little brother he’d made the deal of in the first place than the hardened hunter he’d found after returning from hell. Figuring he couldn’t put it off he dialled Bobby’s number even as Sam started to sit up so he could hear. Dean stopped him and but it on speaker, earning a smile form Sam.

“Hello?” The familiar voice answered and Dean swallowed.

“Hey Bobby.”

“Dean? Where the hell are you? Are you okay? Where’s Sam? Did you stop….”

“Bobby slow down! We’re both okay.” Dean answered.

“You found Sam then. Did he…..” Bobby trailed off and Dean looked down at Sam who hid his face against Dean’s stomach.

“Lilith’s dead, so is Ruby. Sam……he’s okay, just having some eye colour issues.” Dean offered and Sam moved to stare at him so Dean shrugged.

“Eye colour…..Dean are you okay?” Bobby demanded and Sam buried his head again, whimpering.

“Shh Sammy, its okay.” Dean whispered.
“Thanks a lot Bobby, I actually finally got Sam in a good, happy mood earlier. Come on Sam, Bobby’s just being an idiot.” Dean told him but Sam just shook his head.

“Sam? Dean what’s going on? Why didn’t you come here?” Bobby demanded.

“Because Sam wasn’t doing well and you were too far away. We’re safely holed up in an abandoned house with plenty of supplies although Sammy’s eaten most of my candy so he’ll probably start bouncing soon.” Dean teased, trying to cheer the kid up.
“Cas dropped by to check on us and we agreed not to move Sam until he was doing better. So we’ll probably be able to move on in a few days. And before you ask, Christo.” Dean snapped only to freeze as Sam whimpered in pain, clutching Dean’s shirt tighter.
“Oh shit! Sam? Sammy, come on kiddo. I’m sorry, I didn’t think.” Dean called, tugging at Sam until he finally managed to turn him, pain filled black stared up at him and Sam whimpered again. Dean gently ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, trying to comfort him.
“Shh, its okay, I’m sorry.”

“Dean?”

“Not now Bobby! Thanks to your paranoia I hurt Sam!” Dean snapped angrily, trying to sooth Sam and hoping that he hadn’t switched.
“Come on Sam, talk to me kiddo.” Dean called and Sam reached up. Dean pulled him up into a hug, cradling him and Sam huddled into him.

“H…hurts.” Sam mumbled and Dean felt something inside him relax at that one, broken word.

“I’m so sorry Sammy; I never want to hurt you.” He whispered and Sam nodded miserably.

“What the hell is going on? Is Sam possessed, why haven’t you exorcised him?” Bobby demanded.

“He’s not possessed Bobby. Remember what I told you after I talked to Cas, that beating Lilith….he’s still Sam, I swear he is. Even Cas agrees.”

“Are you saying he’s…..” Bobby trailed off, unable to finish that thought.

“’M a demon.” Sam mumbled miserably, loud enough for the phone to pick up.

“Sam.” Bobby whispered and Sam turned to stare at the phone.

“Please Bobby, don’t hate me.” Sam whispered and Dean hugged him, hating the desperate plea.

“Family’s more than blood Sam, look out for your brother, you hear?” Bobby answered and Sam smiled slightly.

“Will.”

“Good, now I have to get to work on some renovations before you two get here, and you are coming. I’ll have it worked out for Sam by then. Stay safe.”

“You too, thanks Bobby.” Dean hung up and Sam clung to him, sniffling slightly.
“Told you Bobby would be okay.” He whispered and Sam nodded.
“How’re you feeling?” Sam turned in his arms and leant in to kiss him softly.

“Know you didn’t mean to hurt me.” Sam assured him and Dean relaxed a little.
“Tired.” He mumbled and Dean smiled, getting them both up.

“Come on, let’s go get some sleep.” He whispered and Sam stumbled along, letting Dean guide him. Dean was a bit worried by the sudden sleepiness but figured Sam was hurting more than he was admitting. Hunting demons was definitely going to be harder, then again if Sam had all the usual demonic powers…..

TBC….

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 5

Bobby waited impatiently for the boys to arrive. He was worried, scratch that, he was scared stiff about how he’d react to seeing Sam. The last time he’d seen him the kid had knocked him out, he could forgive that easily enough, he’d seen enough strung out addicts in his day. It was the thought of seeing Sam with black eyes that scared him. Dean was so sure the kid was still their Sam but……if Dean wanted to believe bad enough it was possible he could have been fooled. He tensed as an unfamiliar car pulled in before spotting Dean at the wheel. He stepped out onto the porch as Dean got out, waiting to see Sam but relieved that Dean appeared unharmed. When there was no movement from the passenger seat Dean walked around the car and opened the door, kneeling down out of sight. He was down there for a while before he got up again and then Sam slowly emerged, hunched in on himself, his eyes hidden by dark sunglasses. It took Dean taking his hand and pulling to get Sam moving towards the door and Bobby felt a flash of pain. If it really was Sam then the last thing he wanted was for the kid to be scared of him.

“Hey boys.” He called out and Dean grinned at him.

“Hey Bobby.” Dean answered, nudging Sam who just waved slightly.

“Sam? You alright?” He asked and Sam hunched even further.

“Come on Sammy, its Bobby. He’s not going to hurt you.” Dean soothed, reaching up towards Sam’s glasses and the kid flinched.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Dean whispered as he removed Sam’s glasses. Bobby got a brief glance at black before Sam moved to stare at the ground. Bobby moved off the porch, walking slowly closer.

“Sam? Come on son. I’m not mad about you knocking me out. Got a place for you two all sorted out, attached to the back of the house. Sam please look at me.” Bobby called as he stopped in front of the taller male. Sam hesitantly raised his head and Bobby fought down the instinctual reaction to seeing pitch black eyes. Seeing those eyes on Sam again…..but this was different. Despite the eyes……he was still Sam. Bobby reached out and then yanked the kid into a brief hug. Sam tensed but then hesitantly hugged him back.
“It’s good to see you boy. Now come on, got you two something I think you’ll like.” Bobby explained, leading them around the house. They followed curiously and then stoped as they saw Bobby’s house was suddenly longer.
“Called in some help to get it done. Haven’t warded it past salt, wasn’t sure what wards would be okay.”

“Bobby? This is…..” Dean trailed off, staring in awe at the extension.

“Got a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, laundry and living room. Furniture’s second hand but…..” Bobby trailed off uncomfortably. Sam slowly reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, a small smile n his face.

“Thank you.” He whispered and Bobby shrugged.
“It’s brilliant.” Sam added and Bobby grinned.

“Yeah well……figured you should have a place to stay, my place is covered in wards, didn’t want Sam getting stuck or something.” Bobby admitted and Sam nodded in understanding.
“Well go on, get settled in. I’ve got dinner on the grill; I’ll bring it over in a few. Stocked some food and beer, no holy water or anything like I usually do but thought I’d save you trying to cook tonight.” Bobby mumbled before heading inside, tossing Dean the key to their outside door.

Dean opened the door and led Sam inside. They looked around in awe. It wasn’t anything fancy but it was theirs. Dean went back for their bags as Sam peeked in the kitchen cupboards. They went and unpacked in the bedroom, grinning at the big bed in the centre of the room. Hearing a knock Dean headed out and let Bobby in with the food, Sam joining them as they sat down to eat.

“So you boys settling in okay?” Bobby asked and they both nodded.

“It’s great Bobby, thank you so much.” Sam told him, smiling softly and Bobby nodded.

“Sam’ll do the wards later, kid’s great now. Even kept Castiel out unless Sam let him in or out.” Dean praised and Sam ducked his head.

“Sounds good, mind putting some up round my place?” Bobby asked and Sam nodded.
“So you’re both doing okay?” He asked and Sam looked away.
“Sam?”

“Mostly.” Sam finally answered and Bobby glanced at Dean.

“He’s doing good Bobby, getting better all the time.” Dean promised and then looked over as he heard the sound of wings. Sam tensed, a low growl sounding, before he shook his head, forcing himself to relax. He gave the angel a small smile and Castiel nodded in return, understanding Sam hadn’t meant anything with the growl.
“Hey Cas.” Dean greeted him and Castiel smiled slightly.

“I thought I should make sure you were okay. There are demons searching for you.” Castiel explained and they nodded.

“We’ll get the place warded tonight.” Sam promised.

````````````````````````````````````````````
Sam lay in Dean’s arms, ignoring the instincts that screamed it was the wrong way around, that he should be the one protecting his human. He loved it when Dean held him; there was no safer place for him. He sighed and snuggled in even closer, feeling Dean chuckle even as a hand began running through Sam’s hair.

“Happy?” Dean whispered and Sam hummed in response. Dean chuckled again and then tugged, making Sam lean his head up. Dean claimed his lips in a gentle kiss and Sam eagerly responded. Sam turned around so they were lying face to face, being careful not to rest all of his weight on Dean.

“Love you.” Sam whispered when they parted and Dean grinned.

“Love you too Sammy.” He answered and then Sam’s hands hesitantly moved to Dean’s belt. Dean nodded and raised his hips, letting Sam pull his jeans off. Dean went to work on Sam’s and they were soon naked. Sam smiled and then rolled them so he was lying underneath Dean, one hand searching in the bedside table until he came up with a tube. He pressed it into Dean’s hand and watched green eyes widen.
“You sure?” Dean asked and Sam nodded.

“Please Dean, need you.” Sam pleaded and Dean nodded, setting to work preparing Sam.

`````````````````````````````````````````````
Dean woke up and smiled at Sam, finding the kid sitting beside him, watching him curiously.

“Hey Sam, what’s up?” Dean asked, stretching and grinning as he remembered what they’d done the previous night.
“Sam?” He whispered and then sighed when there was no answer. He held his hand out and Sam took it, gently studying the limb.
“Oh Sam, thought you were over this.” Dean stated sadly and Sam looked up at him, reaching out to touch Dean’s face and Dean lent into the touch, making Sam smile again.
“Love you Sammy.” Dean told him, gently pulling Sam down to kiss him. Sam smiled and responded eagerly.

“Dean? Sam? You boys up?” Bobby’s voice called and Sam froze before snarling in anger. Before Dean could do anything Sam was up and out of the room. Dean blinked but then took off after him. He launched himself at Sam, struggling to pull him away from where he had Bobby pinned to the wall.

“Sam! Sammy calm down. It’s okay, it’s Bobby. Come on kiddo, you know Bobby.” Dean called out as he struggled to hold Sam back.
“Bobby get out of here!”

“Dean you.” Bobby started but Dean cut him off.

“I’ll be fine; Sam won’t hurt me, even like this. It’s you I’m worried about!” Dean yelled and Bobby slid out of the annex, watching from a distance as Sam slowly stopped fighting to get away from Dean. Dean held Sam close, running his fingers through Sam’s hair while whispering gently as Sam slowly calmed. Bobby just watched, rubbing his throat from where Sam’s fingers had dug in.
“Hey Sammy, you’re okay.” Dean said as he loosened his grip and Sam stared at him.
“Come on, let’s try some breakfast huh?” Dean offered, trying not to let Sam see how badly he’d been scared by seeing Sam attacking Bobby.

Dean walked towards the kitchen and Sam followed. He gently pushed Sam down onto a chair and got some cereal out. He put a bowl in front of Sam but Sam didn’t try to eat. Sighing he sat beside Sam and held the spoon to his lips. Thankfully Sam got the idea and ate. Dean glanced outside to find Bobby had gone back inside; he’d call him once Sam was settled.

TBC….

Disclaimer: Not mine.
Sorry for the long wait.

Chapter 6

Sam woke up to find himself in Dean’s arms, feeling a soft hand in his hair. He yawned and glanced at the clock frowning in confusion and then he closed his eyes, realising what must have happened. “Are you okay?” He whispered, feeling the hand in his hair pause briefly before resuming the soothing motion.

“Welcome back Sammy.” Dean whispered, kissing the top of his head. “I’m fine. You’ve been out about five hours.” Dean told him and Sam leant his head back to look up at Dean and Dean smiled at him but there was something off…..

“What happened?” He asked and Dean sighed.

“It’s okay Sammy.”

“Dean.” Sam pushed and Dean closed his eyes.

“You woke up and it was okay but….Bobby came into the annex.” Dean answered and Sam froze in horror.

“No, please no.” He choked and Dean hugged him.

“He’s okay Sam, just a little freaked.” Dean assured him and Sam buried his head in Dean’s chest. Dean held him close, rocking him gently as Sam clung to him. “Shh, it’ll be okay.”

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Sam hovered on Bobby’s porch, trying to work up the courage to knock. Dean was asleep but Sam couldn’t not till he knew Bobby was okay.

“You gonna stand there all night?” The hunter asked as he opened the door and Sam moved back, looking at the ground. “Sam?” Bobby called and Sam slowly looked up at him, eyes once again hidden by sunglasses. “Everything okay?” He asked, watching Sam closely. His throat was sore and he’d gotten a good scare but looking at Sam now he could see, Sam hadn’t meant to do it, hadn’t been himself.

“Sorry.” Sam eventually whispered, barely audible and Bobby stepped out of the house, leaving the safety of the house, wanting to show Sam he wasn’t scared of him. Sam finally glanced up at him and Bobby smiled at him.

“You don’t need to be sorry Sam. I should have called before going after; Dean told me you’re still not fully aware all the time. No harm done.” Bobby assured him.

“Really?” Sam asked and Bobby sighed, pulling him into a brief hug.

“Really kid. I’d ask you in for a beer but they’re all laced and with the wards…..” Bobby trailed off and Sam shrugged.

“I uh, warded our bit. You want me to add the anti-angel ones to yours?” Sam offered and Bobby nodded.

“What do you need?”

“A pen?” Sam asked and Bobby got him one, watching as Sam began drawing the needed glyphs onto the wood of his house, making sure he wouldn’t get any feathered visitors. “All done.” Sam handed the pen back and Bobby nodded.

“Thanks Sam. So how are you doing?”

“Okay I guess. Would like to stop flipping between me and……..well Dean likened me to a puppy in that state.” Sam told him and Bobby laughed.

“Yeah he would say something like that. You’ll get through this Sam.” Bobby assured him and Sam smiled shakily. “And take those damned glasses off; it doesn’t bother me or Dean.” Bobby told him and Sam slowly took them off, revealing his black eyes. Bobby moved to sit on a rickety chair and Sam sat on the stairs, settling in to catch up.

```````````````````````````````````````````
“Hello Sam.” A silky voice whispered and Sam froze.

“Who are you?” Sam demanded and a figure appeared out of the blackness. Sam trembled as he instinctively recognised him. “Lucifer.” He choked and the Fallen Angel smirked.

“I’ve waited millennia to meet you only to finally be freed and to have you useless to my plans.” Lucifer stated.

“What?” Sam whispered, trying to back away.

“Simple. You were not meant to become a demon, slightly demonic yes but not an actual demon. As a demon you are worthless to me. I needed you human. But you did free me from my Cage so I’ve decided not to kill you.” Lucifer told him and Sam relaxed a little, happy to know he wasn’t about to die. He was pretty sure he was dreaming too. “Yes you are, without a vessel and with your wards I cannot come to you in the real world.”

“So why are you here?” Sam asked, fighting the urge to drop to his knees before him and Lucifer smirked.

“It is only natural Samuel, I created demons and you are a demon.” Lucifer reached out to cup Sam’s cheek and he trembled violently. “For freeing me I will give you this gift.” Lucifer whispered and Sam screamed as he shot upright, shaking and panting for breath.

“Sam?” Dean called and Sam scrambled out of bed until his back hit the wall. “Whoa! Easy Sammy, it’s me, it’s Dean.” Dean whispered, getting out of bed and approaching slowly.

“D…Dean.” Sam choked and Dean nodded, reaching out with a hand only to end up on the floor with Sam clinging to him.

“Shh, it’s alright. I’m here, I’ve got you.” Dean soothed, rubbing Sam’s back.

“Saw him.” Sam whimpered and Dean kissed the top of his head, feeling Sam’s trembles.

“Saw you kiddo?”

“Lucifer.” Sam whimpered. Dean froze and Sam cried out so he went back to rubbing his back, rocking him gently.

“It’s okay, he won’t hurt you. I won’t let him.” Dean whispered and Sam looked up at him, eyes hazel.

“He….he said I’m useless like this. But he won’t kill me cause I freed him. Said he would give me a gift. Then it hurt.” Sam whimpered and Dean held him close.

“Did he say what?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head. “It’s okay Sammy, it’ll be okay. I’m gonna call Cas, okay? Let him make sure you’re okay.” Dean whispered and Sam clung tighter. “Sammy I can’t call him from here with the wards.” Dean told him and Sam shook his head so Dean reached for his phone, barely snagging it and hitting speed dial. “Bobby can you call Cas? Yeah, soon as possible. Thanks.” Dean put the phone down and gently pulled at Sam, finding that as long as Dean didn’t try to get him to let go the kid was relatively easy to move. He got them back to the bed and Sam curled up in his lap.

“Dean?” Castiel called after a few minutes.

“In the bedroom.” Dean called. “Can you get in?”

“No.”

“Sammy you gotta let Cas in? Come on, I won’t let go.” Dean urged and they slowly made their way to the door. Sam reached out the door to take Castiel’s hand, without moving his head from Dean’s chest. He tugged the angel inside and Dean got them over to the couch, Sam curling into him, still shaking.

“What happened?” Castiel asked in alarm.

“Sam……was visited in his dream.” Dean answered softly and Castiel frowned.

“Who?”

“Lucifer.” Sam choked and Dean got to see Castiel go white for the very first time.

TBC….

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 7

"Lucifer." Sam choked and Dean got to see Castiel go white for the very first time.

“He was here?” Castiel asked and Sam shook his head.

“In my dream……he said he can’t find us.” Sam whispered and Castiel relaxed.

“May I look at you Sam? I will have to put you to sleep so that it is not painful.” Castiel offered and Sam nodded nervously, seeing Castiel’s hand approach and then his world went black. Dean cradled Sam’s limp body close as Castiel gently scanned him. As he finished he woke Sam who started and Dean gently hushed him, wondering what state Sam would be in this time.

“Dean?” Sam asked groggily and Dean helped him sit up.

“It’s okay, you’re alright.” Dean whispered and Sam leant against him, blinking at Castiel. “So?”

“Lucifer finished the process. Sam’s mind is now stable.” The angel stated and Dean hugged Sam tightly. Sam clung to him, staring at Castiel with wide black eyes.

“You…..you’re sure?” He whispered and Castiel nodded. Sam relaxed and then looked up at Dean who smiled and kissed him.

“So no more puppy Sam?”

“Sam will be as he is now all the time. If threatened or you are threatened he may become more….wild.” Castiel agreed and Sam cuddled against Dean, clinging to him.

“Thanks Cas.” Dean grinned and Castiel nodded before leaving, knowing they would want to be alone now. Dean hugged Sam tightly, relieved that he wouldn’t lose Sam to madness. Sam looked up at him and Dean smiled when Sam’s eyes flickered to hazel. “You okay?” He asked gently and Sam nodded, laying his head over Dean’s heart. Dean gently stroked Sam’s hair, soothing him. “Think we should send Lucifer a fruit basket?” Dean asked teasingly and Sam managed a shaky smile.

“No. Never want to see him again.” Sam whispered and Dean nodded.

“Was he…..”

“It hurt…..part of me…….all I wanted to do was fall at his feet and it scared me, he touch me and I wanted it but I didn’t.” Sam choked out, turning his head to bury it against Dean’s chest and Dean held him.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe Sammy.” Dean murmured, kissing the top of his head. Sam clung tightly, shivering slightly but he gradually calmed down and Dean rubbed his back. “Come on Sam, lets go back to bed.” Dean whispered trying to get up but Sam whimpered. “Shh, its okay, we’re safe.” Dean murmured and Sam finally let him get them up, slumping against Dean as they moved into the bedroom. Dean stripped them both of and lay down, Sam cuddling into him as Dean pulled the blankets up over them. Dean just held Sam, gently stroking his back until Sam drifted off to sleep. Dean stayed awake, watching over his brother as he slept. Ever time Sam stirred Dean soothed him back into a deeper sleep. He prayed that Lucifer appearing to Sam was a one off thing, that Sam would never see him again. They way Sam had said he reacted……it scared him, could he lose Sam to Lucifer if he wanted Sam?

Sam slept for most of the day before beginning to wake and Dean kissed his forehead as hazel eyes fluttered open. Sam blinked sleepily at him and then snuggled in.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Dean asked softly.

“Okay.” Sam answered and Dean ran his fingers through Sam’s hair.

“Seriously?”Dean pushed and Sam nodded, looking up at him and smiling slightly. Dean smiled back and leant down to kiss him, Sam melting into the kiss. Dean pulled back and smiled at Sam, tugging him up so they were face to face, gently stroking Sam’s face and Sam leant into his touch.”I’m glad you’re going to be okay Sammy.” He whispered and Sam smiled.

“Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Being such a mess.” Sam whispered and Dean hugged him.

“You’re not a mess. Would’ve stuck with you even if you were insane or puppy Sam forever, as long as I had you with me I’d be happy.” Dean promised quietly, kissing Sam again. Sam shifted closer, deepening the kiss and Dean happily let him, hands moving to Sam’s bare hips, trying to pull him even closer. If Sam wanted to celebrate being healed this way then that was fine with Dean. Dean rolled so he was on his back, pulling Sam with him and Sam settled over him, smiling down at him. They kissed and touched for ages before Dean pulled a familiar tube from the bedside drawer and offered it to Sam who took it slowly, looking at Dean to make sure he was sure. Dean just grinned and shifted to give Sam access and Sam shakily prepared him before slipping into him slowly. Sam moved slowly, driving Dean crazy with want, not wanting to risk hurting him. “You won’t hurt me.” Dean murmured, pulling him into a kiss. Sam kissed back and picked up his pace a bit, still worried but relaxing gradually as Dean moved to match his thrusts. After Sam began to relax things became better and more natural between them until Sam collapsed on top of Dean, reaching a hand down to help Dean and then they lay there, panting for breath as Dean held Sam close. “Okay?” Dean whispered after a while and Sam nodded, moving off him to lie beside him. Dean grinned and Sam smiled back.

“Missed this so much.” Sam murmured after a while.

“Well I am great.” Dean teased and Sam laughed softly.

“Not the sex so much……this, just us together.” Sam answered and Dean nodded, kissing his temple.

“Me too.” Dean admitted softly.

“You’re different.” Sam mumbled and Dean frowned, rubbing Sam’s back.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked and Sam flinched, making Dean realise Sam hadn’t meant to be heard. Sam tensed and Dean soothed him. “It’s okay Sam, tell me.” Dean urged and Sam cuddled in.

“More…..open.” Sam whispered and Dean blinked before sighing.

“Maybe if I’d been more open back then you could have come to me.” Dean whispered, holding Sam close.

“Not you’re fault.” Sam answered.

“And it’s not yours.” Dean told him. Sam didn’t reply, just cuddled into Dean’s arms.

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Bobby smiled as Sam and Dean moved around their small kitchen, making dinner for the three of them. They were both a lot more relaxed since Sam had been ‘fixed’. The fact that Lucifer had did it….well they were all uneasy about that but so far he hadn’t come to Sam again so they were hoping that meant he wasn’t interested in the youngest Winchester anymore. Sam’s eyes were still black most of the time but the periods when they were hazel were increasing so there was hope Sam wouldn’t be wearing sunglasses for the rest of his life.

Tonight they had a big decision to make, did they try to go against Lucifer and stick him back where he belonged or even kill him? Sam was leaving the decision to them since he wouldn’t be much use against the fallen angel. The demonic instinct, the need to please him, was just too strong for Sam to fight if in his actual presence. Thanks to Castiel they knew the angels were searching for Dean, wanting him for the fight. Which meant as soon as Dean left the wards he was vulnerable. Castiel was apparently looking for a way to hide both Dean and Bobby from his brethren outside Sam’s wards.

Bobby grinned as the boys set the plates of food out. With nothing else to do Sam had started learning to cook from online shows and recipes and he was getting rather good at it. They ate in silence and then Bobby looked at them and Dean sighed.

“So what do we do next?” Bobby asked.

TBC….
So what do you think? Have Dean and Bobby hunt the devil down with Sam as research support from home? Or have Dean decide he can’t leave Sam behind so they don’t get involved? Then there’s the decision of to just leave it with their decision or continue on and show the fight or their lives together. Opinions please!!!!!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 8

Sam watched out the window as Dean messed around with Rumsfeld in the yard. It was good to see Dean so relaxed but Sam wouldn’t join him, Rumsfeld didn’t react well to demons after all plus that would mean leaving the wards that hid him from Heaven and Hell. And he was honestly scared about what would happen if angels other than Cas found him or if Lucifer changed his mind and decided he could use him for something, he wasn’t sure he could deny the fallen angel and that scared him more than anything. Sam laughed when Dean walked into their house, covered in old leaves. “Have fun?” He teased and Dean grabbed him in a hug, shaking his head to make some of the leaves fall out and onto Sam.

“Have now.” Dean grinned and kicked his shoes off before collapsing on the couch and Sam sat beside him, curling into his side, making Dean smile and wrap an arm around him.

“Jerk.” Sam mock grumbled and Dean laughed.

“Bitch.” He teased. “You could come out as well you know.”

“Too risky Dean.” Sam gave the same answer he always did and Dean sighed.

“There’s been nothing from either side since Lucifer fixed your head; they’re done with us Sammy.”

“We don’t know that for sure and I won’t lead them to you.” Sam argued before leaning in to kiss Dean softly and Dean sighed but let it go again. It was a frequent argument and Dean could see Sam’s point but he didn’t want his brother living his life stuck in their small house. Dean tugged him closer, hugging him close and Sam smiled, nuzzling into him. Dean smiled and they settled down to just relax together.

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Sam hummed to himself as he worked on the research Bobby wanted. Dean was out in town shopping, something he hated and had grumbled about until he had left. It was weird, he was a demon, a creature of evil, and yet he felt more at peace now than he had in years. Like a terrible burden had been lifted from him. And he guessed it had been, as a demon he was free from his destiny as Lucifer’s vessel. Research was the one thing he had ever even partially enjoyed before leaving for college and he was even better at it these days then he had been as a teenager. He could spend days lost in the musty books and the greater world the internet gave him. He ignored the sound of the front door opening but smiled as familiar arms wrapped around him. “Whatcha doing Sammy?” Dean asked and Sam tilted his head back to see his brother. Dean was grinning cheekily at him and Sam grinned back.

“Waiting for you.” He answered, lifting his arms to grab Dean and yank him down into his lap, Dean letting out oomph of surprise. Sam laughed and kissed him before Dean could complain about the manoeuvre and Dean was quite happy to let him. Once he would have fought being held on Sam’s lap the way he was but it didn’t seem important anymore, not after everything they had been through. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck while Sam’s hands slipped under his jacket and shirt. “Get everything?” Sam asked as they parted for Dean to breath and Dean nodded, it was not fair that Sam could hold his breath for so long now but he always remembered to pull back before Dean started to really need air. Sam leant his head against Dean’s shoulder and Dean ran his fingers through Sam’s hair. “Missed you.” He murmured and Dean chuckled.

“I was only gone for two hours.” Dean answered and Sam shrugged. Didn’t matter how long Dean was gone, he always missed him. Dean grinned and got up. “Come on, you can help me put the groceries away.” Dean told him and then blinked. “Okay that sounded way too domestic.”

Sam laughed and got up to get anything that needed to go in the fridge. “Domestic can be good Dean.” He tossed a can of baked beans to Dean who caught them and put them away.

“Guess so.” Dean admitted and Sam grinned. The supplies were soon put away, Dean having given Bobby his first, and then Sam tackled him playfully, Dean going down in surprise. They were soon rolling across the floor, each trying to gain the upper hand. Dean finally pinned Sam who stared up at him, panting slightly, eyes tinged with black from excitement. Dean grinned and attacked, tickling his little brother and Sam actually shrieked as he tried to fight him off before grinning and lifting Dean off with his powers before moving to pin him, nuzzling his throat. Dean smiled and ruffled his hair gently, not minding the weight of Sam pinning him to the floor but he knew Sam was being careful not to squish him with his full weight. Sam rolled off him and curled into his side as best as he could being taller then Dean and Dean wrapped an arm around him. “Feeling cuddly huh? This would be more comfortable on the bed Sammy.”

“Don’t wanna move.” Sam answered, head over Dean’s heart, listening to the comforting steady beat.

“Okay.” Dean gave in despite knowing he would be in pain if they stayed on the floor for too long. Problem with all the injuries he’d had over the years was that they were starting to ache as he got older. As if sensing that Sam shifted and Dean squeaked as he was lifted and then ended up using Sam as a mattress. He blinked in surprise but then smiled and settled against Sam, he was definitely more comfortable than the floor. Sam kissed the top of his head and Dean chuckled but gently traced the strip of skin Sam’s shirt had raised to reveal. Sam shivered and held Dean close, content to just lie there.

```````````````
Castiel watched the brothers’ spar curiously. He could tell Sam was holding back a lot and assumed the young demon was worried about hurting Dean. Castiel watched as Sam threw Dean and went to follow through only to hesitate and Dean sighed. “Perhaps Sam and I should spar?” He offered and the brothers looked at him.

“Fight you?” Sam asked nervously and Castiel nodded.

“There would be no need to hold back and you need to learn your limits.” The angel pointed out.

Dean got to his feet and looked between them before nodding. “He’s right Sammy.” Sam chewed his lip before nodding and Dean moved out of the way, sitting on a kitchen stool to watch. Castiel removed his customary coat and moved closer to Sam. Castiel nodded at him and then they began, Sam hesitant but gradually gaining confidence, slowly stopping holding back as Castiel showed he could easily handle anything he threw at the angel. Dean sat there; slack jawed, watching them in awe, some of the moves too fast for him to see. Dean looked over as the door opened and waved a shocked Bobby over, the two humans watching silently as the fight continued, Castiel obviously the far more experienced but cut off from Heaven as he was his power was slowly waning with time.

They fought for what seemed like hours before Castiel backed off and held up a hand, signalling the end. “Good job Sam, you’re adapting well.”

“Thanks.” Sam grinned at him even as Dean tossed him a bottle of water which he downed. “You two staying for dinner?” He asked and Bobby nodded.

“Sure kid.” He agreed and Castiel nodded.

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Sam curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, watching a movie. Thankfully he’d seen it before sine his mind wasn’t really on it but the conversation he’d had with Castiel after a spar several days before. One side of the war considered them sidelined while the other assumed he was dead and Dean grieving but it wouldn’t last forever. Sooner or later the angels would find out he was alive and a demon and they would be after him. And yeah, Lucifer had no interest in him…didn’t mean they could sit back and let the world end. Sam hated to admit it but he was scared, angels would kill him for being a demon and of no use and if he tried to fight Lucifer……his presence had been overwhelming enough in a dream!

Sam hit pause on the movie and frowned, senses straining. He was sure he had heard something……a loud crash had him up and running outside, not thinking about the wards as he bolted towards where he knew Dean and Bobby were working on a wreck. He slid to a stop and stared in horror at the scattered tools and the blood smear on the car. “Dean! Bobby!” Sam yelled, reaching for his brother mentally but he couldn’t sense him anywhere. “Dean!” He screamed in fear, wrapping his arms around his waist as he looked around wildly.

TBC….