Chapter 12

As they were leaving the school Cordy looked over at Xander. “So the adults will be at your house at 7pm that gives you plenty of time to explain to me what happened.”

Xander's eyes flashed to Willow briefly then back to Cordy. “Don't you have cheerleading practice?

Cordy looked at him having seen the look to Willow nodded. “Yeah, Tai Bo today. Later everyone.”

Jesse and Willow had also noted the glance. Willow looked at Xander .“The warnings about learning about consequences, and seeing the whole picture. Your statement also made it sound like Buffy wasn't alone in causing the end of the world was she. What have you been trying to protect me from? What part of myself did I lose?”

“Willow.”

They waited a few seconds before Willow signed in exasperation. “Yeah? So what did I lose?”

Xander turned and looked at her seriously, “What you lost was Willow. The person willing to help others. The person who cared. All you cared about was Buffy and Power. You went dark many times. Now that I know that the Chase's have filed taxes all years I am pretty sure you are the one that hacked into the IRS and deleted their records then sent the IRS after the Chases because you hated Cordy. The first time you nearly destroyed the world I should have killed you then but having already lost Jesse I kept hoping you would change. You would for a while but after resurrecting Buffy then to activate all the slayers you thought you could do no wrong. Between you and Buffy you sold humanity to the demons, you for power and Buffy through willful blindness.”

Willow and Jesse were looking at Xander in shock as Willow started to sink to the ground crying. Xander looked at Jesse. “Take her home, I have to deal with a Master Vampire.”

Jess looked up as Jesse brought a crying Willow into the house, he gave Jess a light smile as he helped Willow to her room. After getting her settled in her room he came back down and headed into the kitchen.

After getting a snack and sitting at the table he spoke. “Bad News Day. Met the slayer. Not impressed but then again considering Guardian pretty much told her she has one chance only and he didn't like her I'm not that worried. Then to find out in the old timeline Willow was one of the ones that sold out humanity that caused this redo. That was later but still Wills is...”

Jess clenched the counter not believing what she heard. “I'm sorry Jesse but I thought I heard you say our Willow was one of the ones that sold out humanity to the demons.”

Jesse looked straight at her with tears in his eyes and nodded. “That’s why Wills is broken right now. Guardian was not in a good mood and you could tell he was pushing Xander. I don't know why but...”

“And where is Xander.”

“He said he had a master vampire to take out.”

Jess walked over to the phone and dialed Officer Rogers. “Did you know that Xander was taking out a master vampire right now? ... Ahh so he did grab some of you guys to do it. That is very good to know. .... Yeah I'm hearing about the rip Guardian has been on today. .... Figured someone must have told the community what he said to Willow. ... That would be good, I'm not sure how to help but Healer Ssallaa has been her mentor for quite a while and probably could. ... Sure so far we have seven extra for tonight at 7pm a few more won’t matter, small bar-b-que then. ... Yeah just bring what you want for potluck style. ... Skarr ... Very true that will help for the short run. Jesse please remind Willow that Skarr eats corrupted souls and hasn't even thought of looking at her like she was dinner.”

Jesse ran up the stairs laughing to tell Willow while Jess finished the call.

Jesse came back down smiling with Willow following slowly behind him. As Willow sat down at the table Jess put a drink and a sandwich in front of her. “Healer Ssallaa will be over tonight to talk to you Willow. I know what you heard was shocking.”

Willow looked at Jess. “How??”

The door opened and Xander came in nodding at everyone. “Nest, Master of the line of Aurelis is dead. I now need to find Angel and figure out what to do about him and Jenny Calendar. Hey Willow, Cheryl is taking over tonight’s orientation at Haven and having more of a general “get to know you” since Buffy won't be able to make it and your upset as well. Figure by tomorrow night you can help with the homework setup. Though I think it would be great if Cheryl ran it. You and her can work together so she can take over. I am really hoping she stays after The Clan House and helps run Haven. This will help free up more of your time to help Healer Ssallaa.”

Willow looked at Xander and nodded in understanding, he was subtly trying to help her not crave power, how often would he say something that in ways helped her in the long run because she was running things others could do and help with just because she liked to be seen as “The One” everyone went to for a task.

Chapter 13

The grill was cooling, paper plates were being thrown into the fire pit and a fire started that was being gathered around. The backyard full of people sitting and talking, quietly, waiting for the real discussions to start. Dinner was for connecting with family and friends, hard discussions were for after dinner.

As everyone started to seat themselves around the picnic table and relax back with drinks of soda and ice tea, everyone knew that no alcohol was ever served at the Harris household and none was to be brought in.

At a nod from Paul to Giles, Giles sighed and nodded. “I had a call from Joyce before coming over here. There is an issue I am not sure about. It seems with the Slayer package also comes constant nightmares. Buffy has stated that since she was called she has not slept a single night without nightmares except when drugged in the institute.”

Healer Ssallaa nodded. “We have wondered before about that. We think in their creation of the weapon and the molding of the energy this is a side effect.”

Paul looked at Ssallaa. “Anything you can do for it?”

Ssallaa shook her head. “If we release it enough for her to dream normal we will have issues with the demon. If the human control is broke the demon will start affecting her every action.”

Xander looked at Ssallaa. “Would the Slayer force leaving her help her or cause the demon to start affecting her more.”

Ssallaa looked at Xander. “If the controls created to control the energy moved to another than the demon influences would be stronger.”

Willow and Jesse looked at Xander. “What are you thinking?”

Xander frowned. “If we allowed the spirit to move on could we be able to remove the remaining taint?”

Ssallaa looked at Rrarrack and Harrax questioningly. “I am unsure.”

Rrarrack nodded. “If she would allow us to look at her we would be able to see. But the only way for the controls to move is for the child to die. And if the child is dead there is no need to remove the taint.”

Most of the people around the table were looking at Xander questioningly. Xander looked at them. “Yes but death is not always permanent.”

Giles looked at Xander sternly. “I am sure Buffy does not wish to be turned.”

Xander laughed. “You are only seeing the supernatural side. There are people walking around every day that have died that are not vampires or anything like that.”

Willow brightened. “Oh, like when you do a valve replacement. You temporarily stop the heart therefore the person is technically “Dead” yet brought back immediately.”

Xander smiled at Willow. “Exactly. In the last timeline at the end of this year the Slayer was killed by Nest. She was drowned. I performed CPR and brought her back to life. The essence moved on but with your statement Healer Ssallaa I realize now why she got worse after that. If the controls over the demon are gone and it influenced her more a lot of her actions make more sense now.”

Giles looked at Paul. “Last timeline?”

Paul nodded. “As Cordy said in the library, we are in a redo. And if we mess up this time there is no third chance.”

Giles shuddered and nodded his understanding. More was at stake than a young girl.

Joyce answered the ringing phone just before 9pm that night.

“Hello?”

“Joyce, Rupert. I talked with the healers in town tonight and they would like to look at Buffy if she would allow it to try and think of ways of helping her. The obvious ones are too dangerous to her in the long run.”

Joyce's hand shook as she listened calmly to Giles. “Thank you Rupert. I will ask Buffy in the morning... Never mind I will ask her in a few minutes she’s up. I will let you know. When would they want to see her if she agrees?”

“They were insistent on soon. Guardian is not liking your daughter and if they can think of a way to help her it would allow you and her more options. I am sorry but I am unsure Buffy will ever be welcome here totally.”

Joyce nodded slightly and sadly while saying. “Good Night Rupert.” Then hanging up gently.

“Rupert talked with the healers and they would like to work with you on maybe helping you. They said the obvious ways are too dangerous in the long run.”

Buffy laughed harshly. “Long run, I'm the Slayer.”

Joyce looked at her daughter. “In Sunnydale you are not. You are a teenage girl again. There are others here and the atmosphere is one that a Slayer is not needed.”

Buffy started shaking her head “they are demons and evil and are just sucking everyone in so they can kill them. I need to kill them.”

Joyce shuddered and tears started in her eyes. “My God, what did Merrick turn you into? Where is my loving Buffy who wanted to be a model then design clothes.”

Buffy looked at her mother. “I'm the Slayer. My watcher is obviously corrupted. I need to go do my job.” With that Buffy started to head for the door. Joyce realized she had a few weapons on her as she watched in horror.

As Buffy closed the door Joyce picked up the phone and dialed Rupert “Rupert... she... my god.. what did they do to her? She is heading out to kill anything she can. What did that bastard Merrick do to her!”

Rupert closed his eyes listening to Joyce. “Joyce, calm down. Did she head out with weapons and what did she say. This is important. If she hurts anyone in town she is DEAD!”

“Oh my god. Rupert she said she needed to kill the demons and saying you had been corrupted.”

Rupert shut his eyes and took a few deep breaths. “Joyce. I will be over in a few minutes but I need to get people out there to stop her or she is in major trouble.” He heard the gentle crying in the background then a soft click.

Picking his wallet he found the number and called. “Paul, Rupert. Joyce just called... Buffy went out hunting.”

Paul nodded sadly in his living room. “I understand Rupert. Let me make a few calls.”

Chapter 14

The young couple was leaving the movie theater and were walking close smiling and holding hands. The girl was giggling softly at her date. “Oh Mmmbbbrspt that is funny. The movie was so stupid. Who would believe in vampires that acted like that?” Just then a small blond girl appeared in front of them with a sword coming toward Mmmbbbrspt's neck.

Before the sword could connect there was a flash and they saw the girl destroyed. Looking around they saw Guardian looking toward them and then he nodded to them and the police that were rushing toward them from the diner. All had seen the girl start to attack them for no reason.

Officer Rogers arrived and looked at Xander. Guardian looked around him. “She was only allowed here on the hope that she could change. She knew there is no way she would be allowed to hurt anyone. She set up the encounter and the end.”

With that they saw Guardian recede and Xander take over. Looking at Officer Rogers. “Could you drive me to her mother’s house? She should hear it from me and why.”

Officer Roger started to shake his head no. “Xander, One of us officers need to do the notification. You don't have to.”

With a shake of his head Xander just looked at him and turned to start walking towards Revello drive. As Xander turned the corner and was out of sight he pulled out his cell phone. “Dad, Could you contact Rupert and let him know there is a situation coming. Xander is back in control but heading towards her mother’s house. … No, she won’t need to wait up for her nor do we need a casket. Guardian destroyed her.”

On the couch at Joyce's house Rupert sat with a cup of cocoa and a sense of dread in his stomach. The ringing of his phone had both of them jumping as he quickly answered it “Paul. I see. When should we expect him here. I see. Yes I will try.”

He looked at Joyce as he hung up. Before he could say anything. “She's dead isn't she? He had to kill her.”

Rupert kept eye contact with Joyce while he nodded. “She was attacking a young couple when he saved them.”

Joyce shook. “My god what did your people turn her into.”

A quiet voice said from the entryway. “A very hurt young girl that totally believed the only way to stop the nightmares and find happiness again was to die. She knew when she left she would die. She planned on it. I am sorry but I could not allow her to hurt others.”

“But couldn't you have stopped her? There has to be something. She didn't have to die.”

“She went to the center of town where multiple officers where eating dinner. She watched as a young realmer couple left the theater and waited ‘til they were right outside the diner when she attacked them. She was hoping for a bullet or something to stop her before her sword connected.”

Joyce shook her head no. Xander looked at her holding her gaze. “I wish there were words. I wish Guardian understood why I wanted to give her a chance but in the end I remember the old Buffy from the other timeline and remember how unhappy she always was. Thinking of the other slayers I now realize looking at it from outside that they all have a death wish. None want to live after they are called. They are all trying to find the one thing that will destroy them so they could stop themselves.”

Rupert looked at Xander sharply. Xander looked at him. “We will talk later. You have more important things to do right now. I know Kendra was called after Buffy. We met her about 6 months later. Think her watcher was a Sam with a last name starting with M or Z or something like that. She was from somewhere around Jamaica or so.”

“I know who you are talking about.”

“That is something to worry about later. Right now Joyce needs you. We have a dinner planned on Friday night. Please come to that. Joyce you are welcome to stay in Sunnydale but I understand the wanting to leave because of her death.”

Joyce looked at Xander. “Did the watchers screw you up as badly as they did my Buffy?”

Xander looked at her. “I am unimportant. Remember the Buffy of old. Before the Gym fire. Remember that girl. Not what she was turned into.”

With that Xander turned around and walked out heading towards his own home. Everyone was in the living room as he came in. He looked at his parents than Jesse and Willow before swallowing. “She wanted to die. She didn't want to deal with it and she truly believed that the only way she could stop was to die. The loss of her old life had her fragile and the realization that she didn't even have the specialness of being a slayer here. Because of our ways she could not be a “Queen” of any group here. Added to that the underlying wish to be free from the demon controlling her. She set up the entire encounter hoping to die quickly and before she hurt anyone. She was thinking a lot about a young demon Merrick sent her after telling her that he had stolen an artifact that would destroy the world. While she was fighting him and his family he asked why. She said she was there for the stolen artifact and he had told her it was a family heirloom and they were pacifists. She slaughtered the family believing in what Merrick told her and believing that they were lying. She realized that she had been used. In her mind she considered herself as evil as the worst demon.”

Jesse got up and grabbed Xander’s arm pulling him to the couch to sit between him and Willow. Everyone lost in thought just sitting and comforted by the feel of family around them. After a while they all headed to bed still contemplating the situation.