Dying to Live by kirallie

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“Sammy?” Dean stared down at the man in his arms. He frowned as he listened to Sam’s body, his heart was a bit off and his breathing was laboured. Sam was also freezing cold but he was sweating. Looking around the car he saw the bottle of water and pill bottles in the front seat. He stared at them unsure which if any would help and the pulled out his phone, hitting speed dial.

“Dr. Cullen.”

“Carlisle it’s Dean, I need medical info.” Carlisle smiled at hearing his youngest voice and then frowned.

“Dean, what’s happed?”

“Got a motorist in distress, middle of nowhere.” Dean explained tightly.

“Give me their symptoms.” Carlisle answered, getting up to lock his door.

“He’s freezing cold but sweating, heartbeats irregular and breathing’s laboured plus he’s unconscious. There’s also about ten prescription bottles beside him, looks like he was trying to take something before he passed out but I can’t figure out which one.”

“How old is he?”

“Twenty, 6’4” and looks like he’s lost weight recently.” Dean answered and Carlisle listened intently as the younger vampire read of the names on the pill bottles. He frowned and ran a hand through his hair.
“Carlisle?” Dean asked when he remained silent.

“Those are medications for the treatment of AIDS and some of the more common illness a patient can catch due to their weakened immune system.” Carlisle explained and then told him which pills to make the man swallow.
“Check his license for his address and let them know he’s been found alive.”

“It lists South Dakota, that’s three states away. Hospital?”

“Yes. They can at least make him comfortable and call next of kin.”

“You mean....” Dean trailed off and Carlisle frowned, he wished Dean hadn’t found the young man; he still didn’t deal well with death.

“There’s nothing else that can be done Dean, from those medications he doesn’t have long. The best that can be done is to make him comfortable for what time he has left.”

“Thanks Carlisle, I’ll get him to a hospital.” Dean told him.

“Okay. Don’t forget to call Alice tonight.”

“Yes big brother.” Dean answered and then hung up. Carlisle frowned, something had been off about that whole thing.

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Dean lifted Sam out of the car, carried him to his own and gently placed him in the backseat, using his own jacket as a pillow. He made sure Sam was as comfortable as possible and put the middle seatbelt around him. Going back to the Impala he grabbed the meds, keys and the duffle he could see in the backseat. He locked Sam’s car up and then got back into his own and took off for the nearest motel. Despite what he’d told Carlisle he had no intention of leaving Sam in a hospital somewhere. Once he’d found a motel he parked and booked a room and then he pulled the car round in front of the room. Moving quickly he moved Sam and his things inside and then checked Sam over again. He seemed to be doing better so Dean took off to go get Sam’s car for him. Once that was done all he could do was sit and wait for Sam to either wake up or for real estate agencies to open.

He would care for Sam himself until the time came. They may have only been friends for one summer but they’d gotten very close, close enough that Sam had been his first kiss. He’d never forgotten the lanky kid who had always had his nose in an old book. Sam had been such a book nerd and he’d teased the younger boy about it all the time but always in fun and not the way the other kids in Sam’s neighbourhood did. He knew that Sam’s only family was his Dad, if the old man was still around but Dean wouldn’t be trying to find him. He’d seen the way the man had treated Sam and if he was travelling alone while so sick then it probably meant that was what he wanted.

Flipping through Sam’s wallet he frowned as he found his license and then looked back at the young man on the bed. It was his Sam but the name on the licence, Samuel John Singer. Okay so Samuel was right and...John was his Dad’s name so where did Singer come from and why was he using a fake id? A low groan had him turning to the bed and froze.

If Sam recognised him...one look and he would know something had happened. Dean was still physically twenty when he should be four years older than Sam. Not to mention the other changes he had undergone. His eyes had gone from green to a sort of butterscotch gold, he was a lot paler and he was ice cold plus his skin was hard to the touch. But how could he stay without telling Sam who he was? He didn’t want him to freak out by thinking he was with a complete stranger. Another groan and he took a step towards the bed.

Dean froze and watched as Sam’s eyes slowly opened and he struggled to sit up. Deciding he couldn’t just stand and watch he moved to the bed and gently lifted Sam so that he was reclined on the bed. Hazel eyes were wide as he stared at Dean. Dean smiled and passed him a bottle of water.

“Hey Sam, welcome back.” He spoke softly and gently, not wanting to spook him.

“What?” Sam coughed and then cautiously took the water.

“Take it easy. You’ve been out for at least four hours.” Dean explained and Sam nodded slowly, staring intently at him.
“I found you passed out at the side of the road four hours ago.”

“I...I know you.” Sam whispered and Dean bit his lip but nodded.

“Dean Matthews, remember the summer when you were twelve?” Sam’s eyes went wide and he smiled slightly.
“Recognised the car so I pulled over. Found your meds and called a doctor I know. I...I know you’re sick Sam. Gave you the ones I was told you needed.” Dean explained and Sam nodded.

“Thanks.” Sam watched Dean move around the room in shock. He’d never thought he’d see Dean again, that had been one of the best summers he’d ever had. They’d actually stayed in one place for three months and his Dad had been around a lot for once. He’d come back to see the place one last time on his way through to see the Grand Canyon. But then he’d started feeling sick and had pulled over to take his meds, then everything went black. He pushed himself further upright and Dean was back at his side, helping him. Sam shivered, great he either had a fever or Dean was ice cold. He looked up at his old friend and saw his eyes for a second. He was sure Dean had green eyes, he had a photo of the two of them and he was positive Dean’s eyes had been green in it. Maybe the meds were messing with him more than he thought.

“You feeling okay? Do you need anything?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head.

“Think I might have a fever or something, you feel cold to me.” Sam watched as Dean nervously shrugged and he felt a moment of fear. Was this really Dean? Or had something taken him while his guard was down?
“So you still live round here?” Sam asked, acting normal since it wouldn’t be the first time something had taken him.

“No. Moved to Washington State four years ago. Louise and Richard, my sister and her husband are living in the old place now.” Dean told him and Sam wasn’t sure what to think.
“What about you?”

“Road tripping across America. Dad travelled all over but I never really got to see all the things I wanted.”

“Alone? Is that...well, safe? What if you’d passed out while driving?”

“Maybe not but it’s better than spending my last days stuck in some hospital.” Sam admitted and Dean nodded.

“Guess so. How...how long have you been sick?” Dean asked, his voice catching.

“Diagnosed four months ago. They, uh...said I probably have a couple of months left.” Sam admitted softly and then started. Did Dean just growl?

“Your Dad just let you leave alone while being this sick?”

“My Dad’s been dead for a while Dean. It’s just me, well there’s Bobby, and he’s like a second-father almost.”

“That where you got the name Singer?” Dean asked, holding up Sam’s licence. Sam blushed slightly but nodded.
“I...I missed you after you left. Kept hoping you’d come back.”

“Just not like this huh?” Sam tried to joke and Dean sat on the bed, raising a hand to rest it against Sam’s cheek.

“I care about you Sam, never stopped even after you left. I...would you let me look after you? Please?”

“Dean...you don’t know...it’s been years. And I’m just going to get sicker.”

“I don’t care.” Dean answered and Sam sighed. Was this real or part of some complicated trap? But why bother? He was dying anyway so why go to the trouble.

“Dean...”

“If it’s money you’re worried about then don’t, I can afford whatever you need. If you want to keep travelling then it’s safer to have someone behind the wheel who won’t pass out. If you want to stay in one spot I can rent a place or something.” Dean rushed out and Sam stared at him.

“Why? One summer Dean. Yeah I missed you and was hoping to see you again but all this? It’s too much.”

“It’s not enough.” Dean replied, leaning in and brushing his lips against Sam’s cheek. Sam gasped and then blushed. Dean inhaled and then had to fight off the urge to sink his teeth in. Sam’s blood suddenly smelt so good that Dean had to move away. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. Yeah, he could make Sam’s death quick and pretty much painless but he would not do it. If it came to that he’d let Sam overdose on sleeping pills or morphine but he would not bite him, not like that. But maybe...would Sam want this life? They could have eternity together but could he damn Sam to such an existence? Even if the younger man agreed to it?

“Dean? What’s wrong?” Dean looked up and managed a smile.

“Nothing, just kind of hit me I guess. That this is real and that you’ll be gone soon.” Dean met his eyes and Sam swallowed at the real grief there. Could this be real? He held a hand out and Dean took it slowly. Sam tightened his grip and Dean didn’t bat an eye. Sure he knew he was weaker but he was still a six-foot-four guy and he was pretty strong. Dean’s hand was like ice and his skin was incredibly hard. Sam swallowed and looked up.

“I don’t have a fever do I?” Sam asked.

“Please don’t ask Sam. Just let me look after you.” Dean begged, sitting down slowly beside Sam.

“You’re not human.” Sam stated softly, staring at him.
“Were you ever? Or was that summer just to get close to us?”

“What do you mean get close to you?” Dean sighed.
“I was human till four years ago.” Dean told him sadly.
“Sam I won’t hurt you or anyone else, I never have.” Dean reached out again to touch Sam’s cheek. He felt Sam shake slightly under his touch.
“I’m still the same guy you knew back then Sam.” Dean pleaded and Sam swallowed hard. He had to make a choice and he honestly didn’t know what to do. He stared into Dean’s eyes and suddenly felt his ‘gift’ activate. Pain exploded behind his eyes but he got his answer.

“Okay.” Sam whispered and then passed out again.

Dean’s hand automatically went to Sam’s neck even though he could hear his heart beating. Something in those last seconds had changed, made Sam say yes but what? He smiled softly and ran a hand through Sam’s hair, they’d stay in town for a few days and then head out so Sam could see the Grand Canyon once he had rested a little. Dean made sure Sam was comfortable in the bed and then wrote out a quick note, laying it beside Sam’s hand. If he was going to be spending time in enclosed spaces with Sam then he was going to have to be well fed.

---------------------------
Sam groaned and then flinched as the light hit his eyes. He opened them slowly and looked around to see that he was alone. Frowning he pushed himself up on the bed and then noticed the scrap of paper beside his hand. Picking it up he smiled, Dean had just gone out to get some food and other supplies. Shifting around he found he felt a lot better so he threw back the covers and slowly sat up on the edge of the bed. Taking a deep breath he slowly stood up and made his way towards the bathroom. He felt nasty and a nice hot shower sounded very good. He stayed under the spray until it started getting cold and then slowly got out to dry off and dress in sweats and a t-shirt and then crawled back into bed to wait for Dean to get back.

His head was still sore but at least he didn’t feel like passing out again. Why did he have to get mind splitting pain whenever his powers decided to kick in? None of the other kids like him he’d met the last few years had the same problem. Then again he was one of the few that hadn’t gone psycho killer. Then again while his father may not have been the best Sam had always known he was loved, and the other kids hadn’t had that.

But at least now he knew that whatever Dean may have become he was sincere about wanting to look after him. Maybe he was crazy to trust him but he desperately wanted Dean to still be the Dean that had stolen his first kiss. He looked up and smiled as Dean opened the door.

Dean opened the door and was happy to see Sam awake and smiling. He’d been gone longer than he’d hoped but he’d had to travel a bit to find a good hunting ground. From the look of things Sam had even managed to get up and have a shower.

“How are you feeling?” Dean asked as he put the bags down.

“Better. Food?” Sam asked, sitting up and Dean laughed.

“Got you some fruit and pastry. Wasn’t sure what you like.” Dean handed over the bag and watched as Sam dug in hungrily. At least Sam still had an appetite.

“I need my meds.” Sam told him and Dean handed over the bag he’d placed the bottles in.

“So...I was thinking that we could stay here for a day or two so you can get your strength back then get on the road. How’s it sound?” Dean asked and Sam nodded.

“Okay. I could go today if you wanted though.” Sam added and Dean shrugged.

“Only if you’re sure you’re up to it.” Dean stared at Sam who rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be okay. I can sleep in the car if I get tired. And I don’t get really nauseous or anything so no worries about having to pull over to be sick.” Sam explained.

“Okay, I’ll start packing up.”

TBC...

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Dying to Live by kirallie [Reviews - 1] Chapter or Story Table of Contents - Text Size + “Sammy?” Dean stared down at the man in his arms. He frowned as he listened to Sam’s body, his heart was a bit off and his breathing was laboured. Sam was also freezing cold but he was sweating. Looking around the car he saw the bottle of water and pill bottles in the front seat. He stared at them unsure which if any would help and the pulled out his phone, hitting speed dial. “Dr. Cullen.” “Carlisle it’s Dean, I need medical info.” Carlisle smiled at hearing his youngest voice and then frowned. “Dean, what’s happed?” “Got a motorist in distress, middle of nowhere.” Dean explained tightly. “Give me their symptoms.” Carlisle answered, getting up to lock his door. “He’s freezing cold but sweating, heartbeats irregular and breathing’s laboured plus he’s unconscious. There’s also about ten prescription bottles beside him, looks like he was trying to take something before he passed out but I can’t figure out which one.” “How old is he?” “Twenty, 6’4” and looks like he’s lost weight recently.” Dean answered and Carlisle listened intently as the younger vampire read of the names on the pill bottles. He frowned and ran a hand through his hair. “Carlisle?” Dean asked when he remained silent. “Those are medications for the treatment of AIDS and some of the more common illness a patient can catch due to their weakened immune system.” Carlisle explained and then told him which pills to make the man swallow. “Check his license for his address and let them know he’s been found alive.” “It lists South Dakota, that’s three states away. Hospital?” “Yes. They can at least make him comfortable and call next of kin.” “You mean....” Dean trailed off and Carlisle frowned, he wished Dean hadn’t found the young man; he still didn’t deal well with death. “There’s nothing else that can be done Dean, from those medications he doesn’t have long. The best that can be done is to make him comfortable for what time he has left.” “Thanks Carlisle, I’ll get him to a hospital.” Dean told him. “Okay. Don’t forget to call Alice tonight.” “Yes big brother.” Dean answered and then hung up. Carlisle frowned, something had been off about that whole thing. ---------------------------- Dean lifted Sam out of the car, carried him to his own and gently placed him in the backseat, using his own jacket as a pillow. He made sure Sam was as comfortable as possible and put the middle seatbelt around him. Going back to the Impala he grabbed the meds, keys and the duffle he could see in the backseat. He locked Sam’s car up and then got back into his own and took off for the nearest motel. Despite what he’d told Carlisle he had no intention of leaving Sam in a hospital somewhere. Once he’d found a motel he parked and booked a room and then he pulled the car round in front of the room. Moving quickly he moved Sam and his things inside and then checked Sam over again. He seemed to be doing better so Dean took off to go get Sam’s car for him. Once that was done all he could do was sit and wait for Sam to either wake up or for real estate agencies to open. He would care for Sam himself until the time came. They may have only been friends for one summer but they’d gotten very close, close enough that Sam had been his first kiss. He’d never forgotten the lanky kid who had always had his nose in an old book. Sam had been such a book nerd and he’d teased the younger boy about it all the time but always in fun and not the way the other kids in Sam’s neighbourhood did. He knew that Sam’s only family was his Dad, if the old man was still around but Dean wouldn’t be trying to find him. He’d seen the way the man had treated Sam and if he was travelling alone while so sick then it probably meant that was what he wanted. Flipping through Sam’s wallet he frowned as he found his license and then looked back at the young man on the bed. It was his Sam but the name on the licence, Samuel John Singer. Okay so Samuel was right and...John was his Dad’s name so where did Singer come from and why was he using a fake id? A low groan had him turning to the bed and froze. If Sam recognised him...one look and he would know something had happened. Dean was still physically twenty when he should be four years older than Sam. Not to mention the other changes he had undergone. His eyes had gone from green to a sort of butterscotch gold, he was a lot paler and he was ice cold plus his skin was hard to the touch. But how could he stay without telling Sam who he was? He didn’t want him to freak out by thinking he was with a complete stranger. Another groan and he took a step towards the bed. Dean froze and watched as Sam’s eyes slowly opened and he struggled to sit up. Deciding he couldn’t just stand and watch he moved to the bed and gently lifted Sam so that he was reclined on the bed. Hazel eyes were wide as he stared at Dean. Dean smiled and passed him a bottle of water. “Hey Sam, welcome back.” He spoke softly and gently, not wanting to spook him. “What?” Sam coughed and then cautiously took the water. “Take it easy. You’ve been out for at least four hours.” Dean explained and Sam nodded slowly, staring intently at him. “I found you passed out at the side of the road four hours ago.” “I...I know you.” Sam whispered and Dean bit his lip but nodded. “Dean Matthews, remember the summer when you were twelve?” Sam’s eyes went wide and he smiled slightly. “Recognised the car so I pulled over. Found your meds and called a doctor I know. I...I know you’re sick Sam. Gave you the ones I was told you needed.” Dean explained and Sam nodded. “Thanks.” Sam watched Dean move around the room in shock. He’d never thought he’d see Dean again, that had been one of the best summers he’d ever had. They’d actually stayed in one place for three months and his Dad had been around a lot for once. He’d come back to see the place one last time on his way through to see the Grand Canyon. But then he’d started feeling sick and had pulled over to take his meds, then everything went black. He pushed himself further upright and Dean was back at his side, helping him. Sam shivered, great he either had a fever or Dean was ice cold. He looked up at his old friend and saw his eyes for a second. He was sure Dean had green eyes, he had a photo of the two of them and he was positive Dean’s eyes had been green in it. Maybe the meds were messing with him more than he thought. “You feeling okay? Do you need anything?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head. “Think I might have a fever or something, you feel cold to me.” Sam watched as Dean nervously shrugged and he felt a moment of fear. Was this really Dean? Or had something taken him while his guard was down? “So you still live round here?” Sam asked, acting normal since it wouldn’t be the first time something had taken him. “No. Moved to Washington State four years ago. Louise and Richard, my sister and her husband are living in the old place now.” Dean told him and Sam wasn’t sure what to think. “What about you?” “Road tripping across America. Dad travelled all over but I never really got to see all the things I wanted.” “Alone? Is that...well, safe? What if you’d passed out while driving?” “Maybe not but it’s better than spending my last days stuck in some hospital.” Sam admitted and Dean nodded. “Guess so. How...how long have you been sick?” Dean asked, his voice catching. “Diagnosed four months ago. They, uh...said I probably have a couple of months left.” Sam admitted softly and then started. Did Dean just growl? “Your Dad just let you leave alone while being this sick?” “My Dad’s been dead for a while Dean. It’s just me, well there’s Bobby, and he’s like a second-father almost.” “That where you got the name Singer?” Dean asked, holding up Sam’s licence. Sam blushed slightly but nodded. “I...I missed you after you left. Kept hoping you’d come back.” “Just not like this huh?” Sam tried to joke and Dean sat on the bed, raising a hand to rest it against Sam’s cheek. “I care about you Sam, never stopped even after you left. I...would you let me look after you? Please?” “Dean...you don’t know...it’s been years. And I’m just going to get sicker.” “I don’t care.” Dean answered and Sam sighed. Was this real or part of some complicated trap? But why bother? He was dying anyway so why go to the trouble. “Dean...” “If it’s money you’re worried about then don’t, I can afford whatever you need. If you want to keep travelling then it’s safer to have someone behind the wheel who won’t pass out. If you want to stay in one spot I can rent a place or something.” Dean rushed out and Sam stared at him. “Why? One summer Dean. Yeah I missed you and was hoping to see you again but all this? It’s too much.” “It’s not enough.” Dean replied, leaning in and brushing his lips against Sam’s cheek. Sam gasped and then blushed. Dean inhaled and then had to fight off the urge to sink his teeth in. Sam’s blood suddenly smelt so good that Dean had to move away. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. Yeah, he could make Sam’s death quick and pretty much painless but he would not do it. If it came to that he’d let Sam overdose on sleeping pills or morphine but he would not bite him, not like that. But maybe...would Sam want this life? They could have eternity together but could he damn Sam to such an existence? Even if the younger man agreed to it? “Dean? What’s wrong?” Dean looked up and managed a smile. “Nothing, just kind of hit me I guess. That this is real and that you’ll be gone soon.” Dean met his eyes and Sam swallowed at the real grief there. Could this be real? He held a hand out and Dean took it slowly. Sam tightened his grip and Dean didn’t bat an eye. Sure he knew he was weaker but he was still a six-foot-four guy and he was pretty strong. Dean’s hand was like ice and his skin was incredibly hard. Sam swallowed and looked up. “I don’t have a fever do I?” Sam asked. “Please don’t ask Sam. Just let me look after you.” Dean begged, sitting down slowly beside Sam. “You’re not human.” Sam stated softly, staring at him. “Were you ever? Or was that summer just to get close to us?” “What do you mean get close to you?” Dean sighed. “I was human till four years ago.” Dean told him sadly. “Sam I won’t hurt you or anyone else, I never have.” Dean reached out again to touch Sam’s cheek. He felt Sam shake slightly under his touch. “I’m still the same guy you knew back then Sam.” Dean pleaded and Sam swallowed hard. He had to make a choice and he honestly didn’t know what to do. He stared into Dean’s eyes and suddenly felt his ‘gift’ activate. Pain exploded behind his eyes but he got his answer. “Okay.” Sam whispered and then passed out again. Dean’s hand automatically went to Sam’s neck even though he could hear his heart beating. Something in those last seconds had changed, made Sam say yes but what? He smiled softly and ran a hand through Sam’s hair, they’d stay in town for a few days and then head out so Sam could see the Grand Canyon once he had rested a little. Dean made sure Sam was comfortable in the bed and then wrote out a quick note, laying it beside Sam’s hand. If he was going to be spending time in enclosed spaces with Sam then he was going to have to be well fed. --------------------------- Sam groaned and then flinched as the light hit his eyes. He opened them slowly and looked around to see that he was alone. Frowning he pushed himself up on the bed and then noticed the scrap of paper beside his hand. Picking it up he smiled, Dean had just gone out to get some food and other supplies. Shifting around he found he felt a lot better so he threw back the covers and slowly sat up on the edge of the bed. Taking a deep breath he slowly stood up and made his way towards the bathroom. He felt nasty and a nice hot shower sounded very good. He stayed under the spray until it started getting cold and then slowly got out to dry off and dress in sweats and a t-shirt and then crawled back into bed to wait for Dean to get back. His head was still sore but at least he didn’t feel like passing out again. Why did he have to get mind splitting pain whenever his powers decided to kick in? None of the other kids like him he’d met the last few years had the same problem. Then again he was one of the few that hadn’t gone psycho killer. Then again while his father may not have been the best Sam had always known he was loved, and the other kids hadn’t had that. But at least now he knew that whatever Dean may have become he was sincere about wanting to look after him. Maybe he was crazy to trust him but he desperately wanted Dean to still be the Dean that had stolen his first kiss. He looked up and smiled as Dean opened the door. Dean opened the door and was happy to see Sam awake and smiling. He’d been gone longer than he’d hoped but he’d had to travel a bit to find a good hunting ground. From the look of things Sam had even managed to get up and have a shower. “How are you feeling?” Dean asked as he put the bags down. “Better. Food?” Sam asked, sitting up and Dean laughed. “Got you some fruit and pastry. Wasn’t sure what you like.” Dean handed over the bag and watched as Sam dug in hungrily. At least Sam still had an appetite. “I need my meds.” Sam told him and Dean handed over the bag he’d placed the bottles in. “So...I was thinking that we could stay here for a day or two so you can get your strength back then get on the road. How’s it sound?” Dean asked and Sam nodded. “Okay. I could go today if you wanted though.” Sam added and Dean shrugged. “Only if you’re sure you’re up to it.” Dean stared at Sam who rolled his eyes. “I’ll be okay. I can sleep in the car if I get tired. And I don’t get really nauseous or anything so no worries about having to pull over to be sick.” Sam explained. “Okay, I’ll start packing up.” TBC... 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