Title: Your Friendly Radioactive Alien From Utah
Author: Lady FoxFire
Warning: not bashing but not friendly to Buffy and Willow
Category(s): Crossover (Stargate SG-1/Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Timeline: Post graduation for Buffy and early season 3 for StarGate SG-1
Summary: There is a very good reason why your mother tells you to never pick up hitchhikers, and Colonel O’Neill is going to find out why.
Disclaimer: A vampire, halfway out of his grave, was busy playing a game of solitaire. “I see you’re back for chapter 2” the vampire said as he laid the black queen on the red king. “As you can see no one has helped me out of this damn grave. I mean I was nice I did the disclaimer for you people and you up and leave me in this damn grave for a week! And now you’re back wanting me to do your like disclaimer so that the author won’t get sued. Well, why should I? I mean I’ve been stuck here for a week and nobody has done anything for me. A damn dog took a piss on me. I mean do you know how humiliating that is? Do you? And now you want me to tell the world that Lady FoxFire doesn’t own the Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the StarGate SG-1 series and that she doesn’t make any money from this fic… Hey! Hey, where you’re going? Come one give me a hand. Please.”
Bad Author Notes: Sorry but this is a short chapter. I promise the next chapter is much longer. Of course you’ll probably kill me once you get to the end of that chapter. I know my editor wasn’t happy with it but what can I do, I write what my Muse orders me to write.
General Hammond had been off base, enjoying the chance to sleep in his own bed, when the base had been forced into emergency lockdown. Now that it had been lifted he was finally able to get in and check on the situation and his 2IC who had been at the very center of it.
"Sir, you need to stay in bed," Carter said as Jack tried to escape his hospital bed.
"But I'm fine," Jack whined.
"I understand that, sir but Dr Fraiser says you're still confined to the hospital," Carter said. "I'm sure that she is just keeping you as a precaution."
Jack crossed his arms over his chest. "No. She's keeping me here so she can torture me with her pen light of doom. Isn't that right, General?"
Carter and Dr Daniel Jackson turned quickly around to face the General while Teal'c nodded his head as a greeting.
"Colonel O'Neill," Hammond said in a disapproving tone as he walked over to stand in front of Jack's bed. "I was rather surprised to be woken up in the middle of the night two days ago to learn that you drove up to the gate with a glowing radioactive alien."
"From Utah," Daniel chimed in.
Hammond gave Dr Jackson a look he had often given his daughters when one was helping the other get in deeper trouble than they were already in. "Thank you Dr Jackson," he said before turning back to Colonel O'Neill. "An alien from Utah. And that my base was in emergency lockdown."
"He's not radioactive or at least that what they told me," Jack said in his defense. "And I'm pretty sure he's not an alien either."
It was at this time that pair of the base orderlies came into the room pushing a stretcher, which contained the young man, in question.
The members of SG-1 and General Hammond moved to the side in order to give the orderlies room to transfer the young man from the stretcher to the bed next to Colonel O'Neill. With professional efficiency, the orderlies quickly transferred the young man's IV to a stand next to bed.
"Dr Fraiser," the General said as the doctor walked in with a file in hand.
"General," Fraiser said with a nod of her head.
"How are your patients?" Hammond asked with a nod toward Jack and the unconscious young man.
"Mr. Harris, the young man who precipitated the lockdown, is in a stable condition, sir," She replied simply. The two airmen and the two nurses who came into contact with the Colonel and Mr. Harris since their arrival have been released back to active duty with no health related issues due to what ever caused Mr. Harris's condition. Whatever caused it seems to have affected Mr. Harris only. However due to the length of contact the Colonel had with Mr. Harris and in a confined space I decided it was best to hold the Colonel for longer period of observation."
"Told you she was keeping me here just to torture me," Jack grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"And Mr. Harris?" Hammond asked as he glanced over to young man.
"When Mr. Harris arrived he was suffering from dehydration and exhaustion," Dr Fraiser stated. "We immediately start treating him for the dehydration and we're letting his body recover naturally. None of the tests show any head injuries so we're hoping that it's the exhaustion that is keeping him unconscious and that he will wake up soon."
"Have you received the test results yet?" Carter asked as she studied from him from where she stood. "Was there anything that would explain the glow that had surrounded him?"
"Nothing. We found nothing on him that could explain the glow or cause the pain he was experiencing," Fraiser answered. "Our preliminary test did indicate that he was human but we won't know until we receive the DNA test results."
"Do you think it might show differently?" Daniel asked.
Dr Fraiser paused for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "Honestly, I don't know," she replied. "When I conducted an MRI in order to rule out the possibility that Mr. Harris was a host I noticed Mr. Harris has a higher than usual bone density."
"And that is unusual?" Hammond demanded.
"To a point," Fraiser replied. "One often sees high bone density when dealing with athletes, who start training at a young age in high impact sports such as gymnastics, soccer or the martial arts. However in Mr. Harris I don't see the muscle mass that one would expect to see with his bone density. It is possible that Mr. Harris's high bone density is caused by a genetic mutation but I won't be able to tell until after I receive the DNA results."
"So he's either an alien, a member of X-Men or a kid from California, who's been cursed by a friend," Jack said from his bed.
"Magic doesn't exist," Carter stated. "It's possible that the glow and pain Mr. Harris experienced was the result of some Ancient technology. It could also explain the high bone density. Perhaps a healing device of some sorts."
"What we have right now are more questions than answers," General Hammond said with frown as he stared at the youth that was taking up a bed in his base's hospital. "When do we expect him to wake up?"
"Two to three days at the earliest," Fraiser said with a shrug of her shoulders.
Hammond nodded his head before turning to Carter. "Major, I need you to find everything you can about our guest."
"I've already started, sir," Carter replied. "I should have what you're looking for in a few hours."
"Very good, Major," Hammond said. "Please keep me informed, Dr Fraiser."
"Of course, sir," Fraiser replied as the General walked out the door. Turning to the member of SG-1, Fraiser growled, "Visiting hours are over," as she glared at the members of the SG-1 not currently residing in one of her beds.
"You know… I just remember a really important manuscript that I just got to read," Dr Jackson said as he edged his way to the door.
"I need to see how that search is going," Major Carter added in as she followed Daniel.
Teal'c simply raised an eyebrow as he watched his teammates scurry for the door before simply walking out of the hospital.
"And as for you," Fraiser said as she turned her attention to Colonel O'Neill, "If you cause any problems for my staff, I'll make sure to order a rectal exam for you as soon as possible."
Jack smiled innocently as he lay back down and closed his eyes.
"And that’s when he passed out," Jack said as he recounted his leave.
"Only you would pick up someone who's under a curse," Major Lou Ferretti shook his head. "Hitchhikers are supposed to be either axe carrying mad men who will kill you then eat you or start eating you then kill, they're sex crazed nymphos or the spirit of some girl trying to go home after the dance. They're not supposed to be someone under a magic spell; that's for fairy tales."
"So does that mean you’re my evil stepsister?" Jack asked innocently.
"Nah. I'm more along the lines of the brave woodsman. You know the one who rescues the stupid girl after she's been tricked by the big bad wolf," Lou said as he puffed out his chest.
"Teal'c’s more the woodsman type," Jack countered. "You're the fool in the story."
"Then I must be the good King," General Hammond said as he directed his steely gaze at the two bickering men.
"Wouldn't have it any other way, sir," Jack replied with an innocent grin.
With a shake of his head Hammond said, "Dr Fraiser, how is your patient?"
"Stable but still unconscious, sir," Fraiser reported. "However I expect him to awake sometime tomorrow at the very least."
"Have Mr. Harris’ DNA test results come back, yet?" Hammond asked.
"They did, sir," Fraiser replied. "There were some interesting genetic mutations but nothing outside the norms."
"But is he from Earth?" Daniel Jackson asked. "After all we've met human on other worlds before. What's' to say he isn't from Earth?"
"From all indication I would say that Mr. Harris was born on Earth and if he hadn't been then he arrived on Earth shortly after his birth," Fraiser declared.
"How can you know this, Dr Fraiser?" Hammond asked.
"I was able to run a series of tests in order to discover if Mr. Harris had ever received any of the childhood vaccinations that are required for someone to attend public schools," Fraiser stated. "In addition to those he has an old appendicitis scar."
"What are the chance he could have received vaccinations and scar from someplace other than Earth?" Hammond asked.
"While that is a possibility, sir, the odds would be astronomical that another planet would have the same type of vaccinations and procedure that leaves the same type of scar," Carter stated.
"Do you agree, Dr Fraiser?" Hammond asked.
Fraiser paused for a moment before answering, "Yes, sir, I do. So far, none of the worlds we have visited have the same type of vaccinations and in some case they have no vaccinations at all."
"But there still is the chance that he is an alien," Ferretti pointed out.
"Yes," Fraiser replied. "But I would say it's very slim odds."
Ferretti snort. "Slim odds is what we do best."
"Noted, Major," Hammond said with a nodded of his head. "Major Carter, what can you tell us about Mr. Harris."
Carter tapped a couple commands on the keyboard and Xander's California driver's license appeared on the wall mount screen. "Alexander LaVelle Harris of Sunnydale, California. Age 17. Recent graduate of Sunnydale High School with a C average however his S.A.T scores and his IQ test show him to much brighter than his school work shows."
"So he's a slacker," Jack commented.
"Slacker?" Teal'c said. "I am unfamiliar with that term."
"Think of Jack and his paperwork," Ferretti chimed in with a chuckle.
"You're trying for the Wicked Witch of the West, ain't you?" Jack replied.
"Gentlemen," Hammond growled before the two men started their verbal sparring once again.
The two men had the decency to look embarrassed and duck their heads like little boys caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.
Turning his attention back to Major Carter, Hammond said, "Do you have any more to add, Major?"
"Yes, sir," Carter replied. With a few clicks of on the keyboard Xander's driver license disappeared only to be replaced by a newspaper article and photo. The headline read '27 Dead! Methane Explosion.'
"What the…" Jack exclaimed as he stared at the photo.
"On May 25th during the graduation ceremony there was a explosion due to an undetected methane leak from the sewers. It's believed the methane was ignited by a spark from some electrical equipment," Carter explained. "The town mayor and the school's principal were listed among the dead."
"I don't remember reports of this in the paper or on the news," Ferretti commented.
"It wasn't," Carter replied. "I searched the AP and could find nothing on it. And this article," Carter nodded her head towards the article, "was on page 2 of the local paper."
"What was one page 1?" Daniel asked.
Carter tapped a couple keys and the image changed to the newspaper front page. The headline read 'Property Taxes Approved'
"You're kidding me!" Daniel exclaimed.
"Would not the death of 27 people be more important than property taxes?" Teal'c said.
"You better believe it," Jack growled. He turns and looked at the General. "Cover up, sir?"
Hammond nods his head. "It appears to be but why?"
"I might have an idea about that, sir," Carter said as she typed something on the keyboard. "While researching Mr. Harris I took the chance and looked to see if any of the students that went to school with him had a LiveJournal."
"LiveJournal?" Jack asked.
"It's a online diary of sorts," Carter explained as the image on the screen changed once again this time to excerpts from people's journal.
LBlaisdell - May 24th
I know I'm going to die tomorrow, I just know it. I can feel it in my gut like when I know I'm going to be tackled hard during a game but I have to go too many lives depend on me, on all of us. I can only hope that Xander's plan works.
PercyW - May 24th
Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! I can’t believe any of that! And Harris! I can’t believe that he knew about it; that he was involved. I just got in to USC on a football scholarship! I can't die yet!
Harmony - May 24th
This is all Xander's fault for breaking up with Cordelia! I know it is. I hope he dies tomorrow during graduation!
Scott Hope - May 25th
BIG SNAKE! BIG! SNAKE BAD! NO LIKE SNAKE! SNAKE BAD! BAD! BAD!
A Wells - May 25th
We have faced the enemy and lived. Just like Rebellion in Star Wars we have fought against the Emperor and all of his forces and we have won. We have freed the world from a great evil and yet the world will never know of it, nor of the price that had to be paid. For if the world was to learn what happened on this day, I fear what mankind would do to its self. Would we fulfill Gene Roddenberry's dream of a Federation or would we descend into the savages as in the Planet of the Apes? Only time will tell and I pray that I am not alive when that time comes for I feel we would not shine in the light of the truth.
PS I really hate snakes. Not the type that slither on the ground but the other type of snake.
"Cover up stories, explosions and snakes," Jack grumbled. "Has all the earmarking of N.I.D. having their fingers in that town."
"What happened to them?" Daniel nodded toward the screen.
"Both Larry Blaisdell and Harmony Kendall are listed as deceased," Carter replied. "As for the others, they're still alive and still updating their online journals. Interestingly enough, none of them have mentioned what happened on that day again. They don't mention any nightmares or even attending their friends’ funerals."
"So what we have is more questions than answers," Hammond sounded thoughtful.
"And a possible foothold situation," Jack put in.
Hammond nodded his head his brow furrowed in thought. "I think it would be best if we see in Mr. Harris can be awakened."
“Can I play bad cop this time?” Ferretti asked.
“Hey! It’s my turn to play bad cop,” Jack exclaimed.
“But the kid already met you so this time it’s my turn,” Ferretti countered.
“Some days I feel like I’m surrounded by kindergartners,” Hammond mumbled softly to himself.
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