Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup

Author's Chapter Notes:
Glad you liked the first chapter. When asked for opinions on where Sam was while dead the most popular seem to be Purgatory or Heaven. Has Purgatory ever been mentioned in the show? I’ve only seen to the end of s4 as s5 is still way too expensive to buy.

Dean held Sam as he whimpered, obviously lost in some sort of nightmare. Memories of his life or of what had happened after his death? No. There was no way Sam would have gone somewhere that would leave him with nightmares; Sam was too good for hell. Dean gently ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, kissing his forehead, trying to let him know he wasn’t alone. Slowly hazel eyes fluttered open and Sam gasped for breath, eyes darting around.

“Shh Sammy, it’s alright, you’re okay.” Dean whispered and Sam’s eyes locked onto him even as Sam reached out. Dean let Sam’s arms wrap around him in return, holding Sam even closer as his baby brother clung to him.

“Dean.” Sam whispered and Dean kissed his lips softly.

“I’m here, you’re safe.” Dean told him and Sam buried his face in Dean’s shirt, hot tears slowly soaking through the thin material. He held Sam, whispering comforting words, until he felt Sam drift off to sleep again. Dean made sure Sam was comfortable before letting himself sleep, he knew Sam would need him alert in the coming days.

When Dean next woke sunlight was streaming into the bedroom through the cracks in the curtains and Sam was still clinging to him in his sleep. His hand went to his gun as the door opened but he relaxed when he saw it was just Bobby checking on them. Bobby nodded at him and then shut the door and Dean heard him heading downstairs. Sam shifted a bit before his eyes opened and he was staring right at Dean. Sam had tensed as he woke and now held himself perfectly still as he stared at Dean.

“Dean?” Sam questioned and Dean smiled, rubbing a hand along Sam’s back.

“Morning Sammy.” Dean answered and Sam swallowed, moving an arm to place his hand over Dean’s heart.

“Real, you’re real.” Sam whispered and Dean swallowed but nodded. What could have happened to him for him to doubt Dean was real?

“I’m real Sammy, you’re safe. We’re at Bobby’s, he found you at the gas station, remember?” Dean asked and Sam frowned but nodded slowly. Dean reached up to brush the hair away from Sam’s face and Sam leant into his touch, soaking it up and Dean smiled.
“I missed you so much Sam, thought I’d never see you again.” Dean whispered and Sam nodded.
“How do you feel? Any pain?” Dean asked and Sam thought it over.

“Feet, back.” Sam answered and Dean was happy that Sam really seemed to be understanding things now. Maybe he’d just needed a really good nights sleep for his brain to sort things out, though his speech was still a bit off.

“Your back?” Dean asked and Sam nodded, moving his arm to put his hand where it hurt and Dean froze as Sam’s hand rested over the area where a certain bastard had stabbed him.
“Okay let’s take a look.” Dean told him, shifting around so that he was sitting up with Sam still in his arms. Sam realised what he wanted and moved so he was laying in Dean’s lap on his stomach and Dean lifted his shirt away from the area. Dean stared at the red, raised scar and gently ran his fingers over it, earning a hiss of discomfort from Sam.
“Sorry kiddo. You’ve got a nasty scar but it shouldn’t be causing pain. Might need to see a doctor and get it checked out but if it’s not too bad we’ll wait till your feet are better.”

“Okay.” Sam answered and then tensed as the door opened. Dean soothed him and Sam slowly relaxed as Bobby came in, carrying a tray.

“Figured it’d be easier to bring breakfast to you then get Sam back downstairs.” Bobby said as he put the tray beside the bed.

“Thanks Bobby.” Dean told him, grateful.

“How’re you doing today Sam?” Bobby asked and Sam smiled shyly at him, reaching out a hand so Bobby took it and Sam’s smile widened to show his dimples.

“We might need to get his back checked out Bobby.” Dean answered, raising Sam’s t-shirt again to show Bobby the scar. Bobby nodded, fighting not to show any more reaction to the angry mark.

“I’ll get the supplies for his feet while you eat.” The older hunter said, leaving the room. Dean pulled Sam up to sit beside him so they could eat. Sam could handle the toast easily but when it came to the porridge Dean had to help steady the spoon. Sam looked away but Dean caught his chin with his fingers.

“Don’t Sammy, its okay. I don’t know what you’ve been through or where you were but I know it’s going to take time for you to adjust to being back. I’ll do everything I can to help you, you know that. I’m just glad you’re back.” Dean told him firmly and Sam slowly nodded.

“Sa….I left? Dead.” Sam asked hesitantly and Dean nodded, holding up another spoon for Sam who slowly ate it. Dean was happy that Sam had referred to himself as I for the first time; it had to be a good sign.

“Yeah Sammy, you died…in my arms.” Dean admitted and Sam moved, hugging him.

“Sorry, sorry.” Sam whimpered and Dean hugged him back.

“It wasn’t your fault Sammy; it was that bastard that stabbed you in the back.” Dean told him and Sam frowned.

“Stabbed?” He asked and then he whimpered, hands going to his head in pain.

“Shh Sammy, calm down. It’s alright, you’re okay now. He can’t hurt you again, I made sure.” Dean soothed and Sam slowly calmed down, hazel locking with green.

“Made sure? Killed Jake?” Sam asked and Dean sighed but nodded.

“That was his name huh? Yeah I killed him and the demon.” Dean told him and Sam’s eyes went wide.

“The demon’s dead?” He asked and Dean smiled, nodding again. Sam smiled brightly, burrowing into his side.

“They can’t hurt you anymore.” Dean whispered, holding him close.

“Dean?” Sam asked after a while and Dean looked down at him.

“Yeah Sam?”

“How?” Sam asked and Dean didn’t need to ask him what he meant. Sam knew he’d been dead and wanted to know how he was alive again.

“I don’t know and I don’t care as long as you’re here. It wasn’t anything I did, I didn’t make a deal or something. Promise.” Dean told him and Sam nodded, accepting his word.
“Do…do you remember anything from…..” Dean struggled to ask and Sam stared at him, eyes wide and Dean tucked Sam’s head under his chin, holding him close.
“Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter.” He whispered and Sam nodded, plastering himself to Dean. Dean had a feeling from Sam’s reaction that he did remember something and it wasn’t good.
“It’s okay; I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Dean whispered and Sam pulled away far enough that he could give Dean a soft kiss. Dean kissed him back just as softly and Sam smiled widely when they parted.

“Love you.” Sam whispered and Dean smiled, cupping Sam’s cheek.

“Love you too Sammy.” He replied and then Bobby walked in with the new supplies, making Sam pout. The two older hunters laughed at that but Sam sighed and moved so they could change the dressings on his feet.

“Looks like he’s lucky, no sign of infection.” Bobby commented when they were done and Dean nodded. Sam puled his feet away once they were done and cuddled back into Dean’s side.
“Cuddly since coming back, aren’t you kiddo?” Bobby asked and Sam just shrugged, reaching out to grab Bobby’s wrist, tugging at him.

“Hug Bobby?” Sam asked, grinning cheekily and Dean laughed.

“Funny Sam. You just rest and heal up; I’ll go dig your gear out of the basement.” Bobby told him before leaving them alone. Sam looked at Dean in shock.

“What’s wrong Sam?”

“My gear? You kept it?” Sam whispered and Dean nodded, wrapping his arms around Sam more securely.

“Of course, how could I throw away the only things of you I still had? Left it here so it’d be safe, except for a few little things that are either in my bag or the Impala. I’ll give them back now you’re back.” Dean told him and Sam smiled at him.
“Bet you’ll be glad to have your own clothes that fit.” Dean teased, pulling at the too tight shirt and Sam laughed, nodding.

“Hey Dean, how’s Sam?” Bobby asked as Dean joined him in the kitchen.

“Sleeping again. Guess that’s his body’s way of dealing with what happened.” Dean answered, sitting down and accepting the offered beer.

“Makes sense, he’s been more coherent every time he wakes up. So has he….does he know what happened?” Bobby asked and Dean sighed.

“He knows he died. I don’t know if he actually remembers anything after that or if it’s just feelings and impressions but wherever he was….it gave him nightmares and he wasn’t sure I was real when he woke up this morning.” Dean admitted tiredly.

“You don’t think….Dean there is no way Sam deserved to be in hell.” Bobby growled and Dean looked up at him with bleak eyes.

“But what if he went there anyway because of that bastard? If I hadn’t distracted him….” Dean mumbled in self-hate.

“No! Not your fault.” An angry voice called and Dean spun in the seat to see Sam standing unsteadily in the doorway, clinging to the wall for support.

“Sam! You shouldn’t be walking.” Dean chastised him, hurrying over and then actually picking Sam up, bridal style. Sam giggled and hung on around his neck as Dean carried him and placed him in a chair.
“How are your feet?”

“Sore, not too bad. My..I…” Sam closed his eyes, fighting to get out what he wanted to say.
“It wasn’t your fault, I turned my back, thought he was out. You last thing I saw, made me happy.” Sam told him, clinging to Dean’s hand and willing him to believe it. Dean looked down and then finally nodded.
“Thanks for keeping clothes Bobby.” Sam said and Bobby noticed that Sam was dressed in his own clothes for the first time since he’d been found.

“No problem Sam.” Bobby told him and Sam smiled at him.
“Well since you’re down here what do you say to trying something a bit more substantial for dinner? How does barbeque steaks sound?” He offered and Dean grinned.

“Knowing Sammy he wants a salad.” Dean teased and Sam grinned at him.

“Jerk. Bobby’s steaks best.” Sam told him and Dean laughed, nodding in agreement.

Bobby watched as the two teased each other, happy to see Dean so alive again. He hadn’t seen Dean for ten months and the last time he had seen him the kid had looked like death warmed up. He was also happy that Sam was recovery from whatever had happened to him, seeing the kid scared of him at that gas station had broken his heart. But now….Sam still wasn’t back to his old self but he was getting there and Bobby knew it was because Dean was there. As long as they had each other those boys could get through anything.

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