Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup


 

Molly sighs after Ron has been dragged off by Hagrid and put back in his cell . ..err room. Dumbledore has an elf bring them tea, calmly pushing over the bottle of firewhisky that Molly adds to her cup.

"I always knew Ron wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. But this? Biting Madam Umbridge when she refused to buy him everything he wanted, then trying to steal all of it. He didn't even know what all of it was, just that he wanted it and should have it. I can't trust him to run errands for me over the summer even if he wasn't working on his classes. He's going to end up being arrested for theft."

Albus nods. "If the Americans do not charge him for this, somebody else will. He expects everything to be handed to him on a platter then attacks when it doesn't happen. He fully expected Mr. Potter to buy him a broom and pay the cost of a quidditch camp that Sirius is sending his godson to as a treat if he does well on his potion and history of magic OWLS. . .because after all he's Harry's best bud and he was going to be the one playing professionally. When Mr. Potter rightly refused he went on the attack, first complaining that you brought the twins their brooms then when that was shot down, that you brought Ginny whatever she wanted because she's a girl."

"Foolish child, I really should have stopped with the twins but we wanted more children."

"Even after Percy and the twins?" Albus's lips twitch.

"Yes even after Perfect Percy and the terrors. Well, Ginny grew out of her boy who lived nonsense, hopefully Ron will grow up as well before somebody beats him or he ends up in a holding cell at the ministry waiting to take a boat to Azkaban in the morning."

Madam Umbridge comes into the room.

"Is Ron in trouble with the American Authorities?"

"Yes and no, I worked out a limited political immunity for him while he was there, if anything happened he'd be charged in front of the Wizengamot. Normally I wouldn't have been able to do it and the little shit would be rotting in an american holding cell, but since his father and brother work for the Ministry I was able to do it. They should be forwarding a report to Arthur's desk, your son's desk, Madam Bones, and the office that sets up court dates. I'm sure the little bastard will bleat that it's not fair he's being charged, they took everything away from him."

"How much calming draught did Poppy give you?"

"The whole bottle, I'm . . .floating right now. It's keeping me from beating the little shit to death."

"Does Ron have to be charged in front of the Wizengamot? It will ruin his future."

"Molly, the little shit doesn't have a future." Albus says quietly. "He's already the laughing stock of Hogwarts, this is just the icing on the cake. He's still expecting that somebody from the Chudley cannons will magically appear with a contract for him to play with them the second he's old enough to play professionally."

Molly makes a rude snorting sound. "Not going to happen. The twins and Ginny might play professionally but not him."

"I believe the twins are already in talks with a couple of teams, they're planning on playing professionally for a number of years, saving part of their pay for their store. Ginny is in talks with the Holyhead Harpies. And the teams are all begging after Mr. Potter. That's one of the reasons Lord Black plans on him attending a quidditch camp next summer, introducing him to the world outside of the local teams and give him a broader base of resources to call upon. I know he really wants to start working on building brooms, Madam Hooch plans on working with him on it after he takes the rest of his OWLS. Both of which he can do while living in the Muggle world."

"Hermione?"

"Wants to go to a muggle university for a higher degree. That is why she and Harry have muggle as well as magical schoolwork."

"I'd hoped to have two weddings in the future, Ron and Hermione and Harry and Ginny."

Albus makes a rude sound and Molly glares at him. "Hermione loathes Ron with a passion, ever since your oik of a son had a fit because she got something before he did back in their first year. Once we found out what had actually happened, Ron was spending his first detention with Filch cleaning the trophy room. Unfortunately he was too stupid to learn from his punishment and continued to cause trouble, both for Miss Granger and other students because they were studying or doing their schoolwork instead of goofing off like he wanted."

"And he was stunned when he found out he'd failed everything and the others had all passed. Anybody with half a brain would have been embarrassed and made an effort to study and work hard over the summer since you'd given him the option of taking his tests again."

"But you said it yourself Molly, anybody with half a brain. . .and that lets out Ron. He's not the first student to fail a year. . ."

"But he is the only one to have failed it three years in a row." Molly sighs. "Ron always did want to do something his brothers hadn't."

"As for your daughter and Mr. Potter, that is unlikely to happen. Her fangirl tendencies made him ill, one of the reasons he and Ron pulled apart. After all his best mate should have been thrilled Gin-Gin was going to marry the boy who lived."

"I'd hoped that we would have knocked that nonsense out of her head before she came to school. I must admit it was partially my fault, I always harped on the bloody boy-who-lived stories and since Ginny is a readhead like Lily was of course Harry would end up falling in love with her. Bill, Charlie, and Arthur told me I was a fool."

The next day there's a scream in the office of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts as Arthur reads the report of what Ron had pulled and the charges the Americans want placed on Ron. Going to the floo, he calls Molly.

"Molly-wobbles, did you. . . " he waves the file in his hand. She nods. "Albus called me to Hogwarts yesterday. You were off in your shed playing with your plugs."

"I can't believe Ron was so stupid."

"I can. As I told Albus I can't trust him to run errands for me over the break or next summer. He didn't know what that stuff was, he just wanted it and Madam Umbridge refused to buy it for him so he had to take it anyway. Has Amelia decided on what charges she plans to file?"

"Not yet, she's busy talking with somebody who does the same job in the American Aurors to get everything worked out."

"I'm going to be late to dinner Molly, I need to go to Hogwarts and beat Ron half to death for being so damn stupid."

"Dad . . .you're here to . . ." Ron screams from the chair he's been stuck to by Umbridge. How dare she make him work on his schooling. He's the Hogwarts Champion, he should be outside having fun.

Ron doesn't think he likes the look in his Dad's eye when he talks to Umbridge quietly, then turns to glare at his youngest son.

The night of the weighing of the wands arrives.

"Hey sweet thing, you make my heart sing." Ron croons in what he thinks is a silky voice that should have the Veela falling all over him. "You make everything. . .groovy." That song had been playing on the wizarding radio all summer and it has to make her swoon. She snorts and turns away, mumbling about 'leetle boys' in French.

"Hey, don't ignore you ignore me you little. . ." Fleur turns on him, slapping his face and swearing at him. "Listen 'leetle' boy, you are a pest. And I swat pests."

"Damn, she's a fireball. Bet she's going to be hot in our bed." Ron says. Ollivander facepalms as the photographer's eyes widen and his camera keeps clicking as Fleur changes and shows Ron just how hot she really is. Looking at the cameraman she holds out one hand and he hands over the camera.

"Why did you do that?" Rita screeches. "I'll see you fired."

"Lady, you're stupid as well as ugly. There's no way in Hell I'm getting on her bad side after what she did to him." he snorts. "Get another cameraman for your little hate rants, I quit."

"You can't quit, you're fired."

The photographer slaps his ass in an obviously rude muggle gesture and keeps walking to the door. Ron is huddled in the corner of the room, his skin as red as his hair used to be. That's all burned off and the door opens.

"Is he hurt?" Poppy asks with a sigh as she looks over at Ron. He doesn't seem to badly hurt, though his clothes are destined for the rubbish.

"Non, I . . .calmed the fire. He is not more than singed." Fleur says. "Per'aps it will teach 'im a lesson on 'ow to treat a Lady."

The weighing of the wand passes quickly, Rita glowering as Colin Creevy had taken over the job of taking the pictures.

"Zat is a wand?" Fleur asks when Ron's wand is passed over.

"The finest money can buy." Ron boasts. "I'll take you two to where I got it if you're good. Viktor, wanna fly against me tomorrow? See how a real flyer handles a broom."

"I haf already seen how a real flyer handles a broom. Harry Potter flies like he was born to do it." Fleur and Viktor ignore Ron's screaming for them to pay attention to him dammit as they talk to Harry's biggest fanboy, Colin. McGonagall comes to take Colin to have his pictures developed then owled to the Quibbler and Daily Prophet while Fleur and Viktor walk off, leaving Ron raging about being ignored.

"But how can I be charged with theft?" Ron howls the next day as he stands in front of the Wizengamot. "They took everything back from me! None of the stores in Diagon Alley complain when I take from them!"

"WHAT!?!?!" His father screams as the barrister that they'd had to borrow money from Albus to pay facepalms.

"Umm, whoops?"

"How did the hearing go?" Molly asks when Arthur comes home that night.

"Badly, if we'd had time to make things go away like Fudge wanted we might have been able to get the charges dismissed. But the Americans already have a sour view on our court system after Umbridge and Fudge tried to get Black tossed through the veil so they didn't have to admit he was innocent and never got a trial. And I can't blame them for their skepticism. The Wizengamot has a lot to answer for."

"And Ron?"

"Is an absolute idiot!" Arthur slams his fist onto the arm of his chair. "He couldn't understand why the Americans were charging him with theft, after all they took everything back." he says in a sing-song voice making Molly sigh. "And the shopkeepers in Diagon don't complain when he steals from them."

Molly swears long and loud. "I guess it's a good thing he can't get to Hogsmeade as a first year student, he'd steal them blind too."

"And that we only go to Diagon once a year."

"How bad is it?"

"Bad, thankfully we're not being fined but Ron is. He's looking at a large fine that he's convinced the Chudley Cannons will pay for him so he can play professionally for them. He's got to pass this year, otherwise his magic will be bound and his wand snapped. He'll be working for either the Goblins as a slave to pay off his fine or doing similar work for the Americans. If he does pass this school year, he's got until he graduates to start working to pay it off."

"What about the Diagon Alley merchants? Will they be having him arrested?"

"No Molly, the reason our bills are so large is we're being charged for everything he's taking."

"WHAT?"

"Yes, if Ron stole from them they charged it to our bills. If he'd tried that at Knockturn they'd have beaten him."

"I swear I taught that boy better, I'd expect that sort of nonsense from the Malfoy boy. . .because of course Daddy being a Death Eater means he could do whatever he wanted."

"If Ron is ever caught stealing in Diagon again, he will be arrested since he has a record now. Of course that didn't stop him, once he's rich and famous he'll have one of his people go to Diagon to buy whatever he wants. . . including the stores. They'll be sorrrry they didn't do what he wanted."

Molly rolls her eyes.

"That sounds like something Lucius Malfoy would do. Throw the merchants out and either bring in his own people or shut down the store."

Meanwhile Madam Umbridge is dropping into a chair at a teacher meeting.

"How the hell do you put up with that damn ghost? I was about ready to yell at a student for sleeping in class when I saw most of them were sleeping. And those that weren't were working on assignments for other classes."

"The students are forced to study on their own, Binns droning sends even me to sleep." Snape drawls. "This has been going on for decades."

"Does he teach NEWT level classes?"

"No those along with potions level NEWTS are usually taken as independent study." Minerva says.

"I have standards and I refuse to waste my time teaching dunderheads."

"Severus please, you need to stop doing that."

"You know my demands Albus, bring in a second potions teacher to take care of the younger students if you want me to take more NEWT level students. And speaking of dunderheads. Madam, do you know how close you came to being a spot on the ceiling thanks to Weasley's incompetence. Od's blood woman, you can't just tell a student to make these potions without supervising them. Especially Weasley who can't be bothered to read the directions on how to prepare the ingrediants or even get the right ingrediants, just tossing whatever he gets his hands on into the cauldron. Longbottom routinely had his cauldrons explode thanks to Malfoy's habit of throwing shit into other students cauldrons to ruin their potions."

"Has he tried that again?" Albus asks.

"Yes, and he was stunned when his own house beat him to a pulp. He went bleating to his father and was stunned again when his father told him to stop sabotaging the others potions. It wasn't becoming a Malfoy."

"Pooor baby." Most of the teachers coo. "He can't use Daddy's money and influence to get what he wants. He's not the Prince of Slytherin House since Daddy got caught in a Death Eater attack and spilled everything he knew under veritaserum to save his own ass." The uppercrust of pureblood society had been gutted by Lucius turning on them, most of the Slytherin had lost at least one parent, either to the veil or Azkaban.

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