"Sirius, what did you do with the Dursleys?" Harry asks a couple days later, sitting with Viktor, Fleur, the twins, Neville, and Hermione after a day of potion-making. Sirius and Remus had left shortly after they got permanent custody of Harry and had come back smirking.

"Hexed them and sold them to traveling circus that needed new sideshow performers? Your aunt's the new bearded woman, Vernon's the fat man, and Dudley's a baby elephant in the petting zoo."

"They were nearly big enough to be elephants but I don't think most traveling circuses have sideshows anymore?"

"Transfigured them into great whales and beached them on shore?" He says.

"That would have meant somebody trying to save them. Next?"

"Sold them to the London zoo as elephants and a giraffe?" Neville asks with a smirk.

"Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner." Remus chuckles. "No Harry, we didn't do anything. the muggle government has already been after them. Your aunt and uncle are in prison, they were convicted of so many counts of fraud, theft, contributing to the delinquincy of a minor, abuse, neglect, and other stuff they'll never get out. Dudley was involved in a gang and got taken down by Scotland yard, he's in another prison and facing multiple charges of drug, gun, and gem smuggling. He didn't go to Smeldings, he'd been expelled years ago, your aunt lied to everybody."

"Of course she did, her precious Duddy-kins couldn't possibly have done anything wrong, everybody had to be making things up."

"Yep, now tongues are wagging on Privet Lane and the gossips are telling everybody how they always knew the Dursleys were no good thieves. Treating their poor rich, titled, and did I forget to mention rich nephew like that for years. The very idea telling them he went to a school for incorrigible boys when he really goes to a fancy boarding school that has armed security since so most of the students are children of government officials. They were supposed to be hiding you since your parents had been killed by terrorists. The house sold quickly and the money is in your vault, your aunt, uncle, and cousin are all working their asses off in prison to pay their fines, most of which is going to you. Now, changing the subject, what do you two have planned for the third task?" He looks at Viktor and Fleur.

"Weasley has a giant head-start, I thought of grabbing popcorn and watching him make a fool of himself, but Bagman would complain it wasn't exciting." Viktor says. Fleur leans against Harry snickering.

Sirius grins and starts talking, everybody in the room blinks at what he has to say. . .then laughs. The laughter makes Filius and Minerva shudder as they're walking towards the room. As one they turn on their heels and walk away. They're better off not knowing.

"That will be the perfect end to their precious tri-wizard tournament."

Soon it's time for the third task. Ron is pumped and at Bagman's instructions is off and running in the maze. Meanwhile Fleur and Viktor conjure a table, a number of chairs, and playing cards. The twins, Harry, Hermione, and Sirius head to the table.

"What are you doing?" Bagman screeches.

"Playing poker." Harry says in his best 'Duuuhhhhh' voice. Sirius snorts and some of the people watching are either stunned or snickering.

"Are you not interested in the task?" He screams.

"Nope." Viktor says. "Ha. Read them and weep, zuckers."

"Go away, leetle man. You are bozzering us." Fleur waves a hand.

"Do you want Mr. Weasley to win?" He screeches, waving his arms to show how important it is that Ron not win.

"There's as much chance of Ron Weasley winning as I am of Dumbledore, Hagrid, Fudge, and Percy Weasley dressed in muggle tutus and performing swan lake." Harry snorts.

"I'd have thought them dancing in a chorus line like the rockettes myself Harry." Sirius says.

Harry shudders. "Ewww, I don't want to see their dangly bits. . .EWWW!" Fleur pats him on the shoulder in a there, there gesture. Everybody gathered around the table ignores the man frantically screaming around them, idly silencing him. At a pre-set time Remus taps them on the shoulders and they stand up. From under the table Viktor retrieves something and gives a cord a yank.

"Uhn uhn uhn uhn. . ." He leads the way into the maze, cutting through the first wall as Fleur tells him which way to go with the 'lead me' spell she's using.

"What is that?" George asks.

"Muggle chain saw." Harry says idly. "Used to cut down trees or cut up underbrush. Quicker than handsaws."

"Are they expensive?"

"About forty-five galleons, but they're available in most DIY stores." Hermione says absently. The others look at her. "We had to buy a new one after a storm took down some trees at the summer house."

"Do they operate on ekticty?" Neville asks.

"Electricity." Remus corrects gently. "No, they operate on petrol."

"What about the misuse of muggle artifact office?"

"Already talked to Arthur, since it's being used by purely muggle means, there's no problem. I'm taking him to one this weekend, I'll probably have to drag him out." The twins laugh but nod.

"It's right through there." Fleur points at a wall of shrubbery in front of them. Cutting a doorway. . .and reminding himself to pick one of these up for his family, he knocks it into the clearing. They both place their hands on a pole that extends and grabs the cup. Turning around they walk the way they had come, dropping the cup at Bagman's feet. He stares at it, then at them.

"But you both can't win the tournament." he bleats. Viktor shrugs. "We do not care." Fleur nods.

"But what about the prize money?" He bleats. Everybody's staring at them like they have two heads as Ron screams in the maze.

"Give it to Hogwarts zo they might have the money to hire additional teachers and give the students a good education since the ministry will do nothing for them." Viktor says. Fleur nods. Fudge turns red, then white, then red again.

"Thank you Mister Krum, Miss Delacour, but that is not necessary." Albus says, his eyes twinkling. Viktor shrugs then nods to the twins. "Give it to the twins so they can start their own business, think of us as silent partners." He suggests as he extends his arm to Fleur. She nods in agreement, thanks him for being a gentleman, then they walk away with the others.

"But what about the tournament?" Bagman calls behind them.

"I believe the muggle saying is 'that's all ze wrote?'?" Fleur calls behind her as they walk away. Everybody in the stands stares at them, then Bagman, the maze, and finally back at them.

"But the maze?" Bagman bleats running after them.

"Is still there."

"Mr. Weasley is still in there."

"Then I'd suggest sending somebody to tell him the Tournament is over." Viktor calls over his shoulder. "Now we muz zudy for our tests." Fleur nods. "Mr. Weasley might want to stay a first year forever, but we weesh to graduate. We have plans for the future."

Harry keeps a straight face until they're inside then collapses laughing, joined by the others a few minutes later.

"You were right, that probably wasn't a nice way to end the tournament but it was the perfect way to end the tournament."

"Not a bang, not a whimper, but a 'what the hell was that." Sirius smirks. "That's the sign of a good prankster pup. Now, how are you three doing in your classes?"

"Awww, Won-Won won't have the excuse of the Tri-Wizard Tournament not to buckle down on his work anymore." Hermione smirks. "He'll be heartbroken." Neville chuckles. Their friends who'd been invited to the party after the tournament start arriving and they head up to the room of requirement.

"Did they finally get Ron out of the maze?" Harry asks Ginny.

"Yeah, he was stunned to find out he hadn't won the tournament. Moron still thought he was in first place. The cup just had to be around the next corner. He was nowhere near where the cup was, he kept going in circles and hadn't even reached the first obstacle."

"What do you mean you aren't going to take down the maze and fix the pitch?" Albus asks angrily a few weeks later when the quidditch pitch still has a maze in the middle of it.

"I'm not going to." Fudge says, looking down his nose at Dumbledore. "The last task made the Ministry look bad." His 'so there, nyah' is unspoken, but clear nonetheless.

"Don't make me sue the Ministry Cornelius, I have all the paperwork saying you'd make everything look the way it did before the Tournament. And our Quidditch Pitch did not have a maze in the middle of it."

A week later everybody is talking about the headline in the Quibbler.

MINISTRY REFUSES TO MAKE REPAIRS TO HOGWARTS QUIDDITCH PITCH DAMAGED BY TRI-WIZARD TOURNAMENT.

The story takes up the entire paper, Luna had gotten interviews with the quidditch players and Harry holds up his glass of pumpkin juice in salute to her. She smiles as Umbridge rips up the paper at the head table and Albus twinkles his eyes in pleasure.

"What do you mean I gotta take tests." Ron whines as he's drug up to Dumbledore's office.

"All students take tests to show how much they learned at the end of the year." Umbridge sighs as she tosses a pinch of floo powder in the fire. "I don't trust the teachers not to fail you deliberately, so I'm taking you to the Ministry to take your tests. Now quit your whining and get in the floo." Ron tries to get away so she chucks him through the floo and walks through a second later.

"Did the Ministry deliver the results?" They had said it would be a couple of days when she had delivered Ron for the tests.

"Yes, they're right here. I'm afraid Mr. Weasley failed again." Albus says calmly. Madam Umbridge had developed a rather alarming tick and twitching hand since the tri-wizard tournament had ended and the news that Hogwarts was suing the Ministry to repair the Quidditch pitch had been made public.

"What do you mean he failed again?" Umbridge howls, grabbing the test results. They've got to be lying to her. But no, that's what they say. Not one passing mark in any class, despite all her hard work trying not to just AK the little idiot or push him down the stairs in an accident.

"And Mister Weasley delivered this mandate along with the test results. Minister Fudge doesn't like the idea of the boy having his magic bound and leaving Hogwarts, he wants you to tutor him this summer so he can take the tests again." Albus says.

"Gtk, gtk, gtk." Umbridge croaks, her left eye twitching in time with her hands making grabbing motions like she was throttling something. . . or somebody.

"I think we broke her." Severus smirks.

"Good, couldn't happen to a nicer person." Minerva drawls. Poppy sighs and escorts her to the hospital wing, dosing her with a calming potion and soothing her by saying they wouldn't make her teach Weasley over the summer before flooing St. Mungo's to come get her. She's making a list of potions she'll need Severus to make over the summer when an evil thought comes to her.

"I'll come back later, that looks means somebody is going to get hurt." He starts backing up. Minerva and Poppy are two scary women, Poppy because once she hurt you you were stuck with her tender mercies.

"Oh don't be such a baby Albus." She says. "I was just thinking that since Minister Fudge is so interested in Mr. Weasley passing his tests this summer, maybe he'll take a personal interest in the matter and tutor him personally over the summer."

Albus blinks then drops into a chair, laughing hysterically.

"He couldn't be any worse of a tutor for the twit than Umbridge once and perhaps we'll be lucky and he'll end up in St. Mungo's too."