Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup


 

"Two hundred and fifty thousand points Minerva, really?" Albus asks at the teacher meeting after dinner that night. "Wasn't that a little excessive?"

"You didn't smell that classroom Albus. And the little twit just sat there like it should be obvious that he was farting there instead of heading for a bathroom or . . .god forbid, not eating so bloody fricking much." McGonagall says, her Scots dander rising. "I had to cancel all my classes today, the classroom reeks and the elves don't know when it can be habitable again."

"I refused to allow him in class today." Severus says. "His noxious emissions combined with the fires under the cauldrons might bring down the school. While Weasley would be no great loss, the other students have promising lives ahead of them."

"You realize that Weasley intends to put his name in the Goblet despite his age." Albus says.

"Well of course. . ." Minerva's 'duh' is unspoken but obvious to anybody who knows her and Albus suspects she's added a 'wee nip' to her tea. "He thinks this will make him as famous as the boy who lived and give him a shoehorn in any quidditch team he wants. After today, I don't doubt there's a lineup of students willing to put his name in the goblet."

"Are we positive that Weasley will be chosen?" Filius asks.

"Well it's not like you were fooled into hiring a death eater who's pretending to be one of your oldest friends as a DADA teacher who will put Mr. Potter's name in the Goblet Albus." McGonagall says, glaring at Albus. "Of course you didn't and you had no intentions of splitting Mr. Potter away from the support of his fellow Gryffindors by forcing him to compete by telling him he'd lose his magic even though the bloody goblet can easily be reignited and new names pulled. After all no Gryffindor worth his house would dare disbelieve one of their fellow housemates when he says he didn't do it instead of 'oh you have to be in it for the glory. Would you?" She glares first at Albus then at Alastor down the table. In a motion known to every parent in the muggle world, she points first at her eyes, then at Moody.

"Minerva, house points are supposed to be a rallying point for students."

"Albus, nobody gives a rat's bloody frigging arse about the house points." Minerva snaps. "My Gryffindors are united in wanting to beat Ron Weasley to death for his stupidity, and that especially applies to his brothers and sister. And it's not like Severus wouldn't have tried to take that many points because he's a bastard anyway. Oh Severus, how is the loss of Potter, Granger, and Longbottom affecting your fourth year students?"

"Draco was heartbroken he couldn't throw something in Longbottom's cauldron to ruin his potion. He tried the other Gryffindor's and didn't have any luck and trying it with his housemates would have gotten the little brat's arse handed to him by the others." Snape smirks. Various versions of 'awww, poor baby' echo around the table.

"And Miss Granger's problem with exceeding her essays?"

"Once she figured out that 'yes, you will be punished for exceeding the length we gave you. You were told this repeatedly but 'oh no teacher would dare take points away for that' she started buckling down." Minerva says. "Her work over the summer was spot on." The other teachers who assigned work over the summer nod. "I believe her mother threatening to beat her bloody for being a stupid prat who can't follow orders might have had something to do with that."

"And Mr. Weasley?"

"Wouldn't do schoolwork during the summer without his mother threatening him even if his life depended on it." Snape snorts. The other teachers nod. "Even if he hadn't failed all his classes, he'd put it off until the last possible second and is one of those students who is working on an assignment until it is due."

"Minerva, you were a little harsh taking points."

"Oh blow it out your bloody arse Albus, if you think I'm wrong you can teach the little bastard yourself. And it's not like it's true, any house points taken from him will be magically returned to the Gryffindors by the end of the year by the Headmaster. The hourglasses in your office show the real totals. You've just got some pull your thumb out and come up with a reasonable excuse for giving the students so many points by the leaving feast. You're just mad you can't twinkle your eyes and make it all go away like you want. . .because you're the great Albus Dumbledore."

Albus makes a mental note to hide the scotch before the next teacher meeting.

 

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