Not Into That. by voracity

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Darcy came out of work, without the dog this time since it was a busy day with meetings, and found someone waiting on her. She stared at him then shook her head. "Are you a process server?"

"No, I'm an agent, Miss Lewis," he said smugly. "You're wanted for questioning."

"About what?"

"About your involvement with a rogue group."

She snorted, shaking her head. "I doubt that."

"You do work for one and email others," he said smugly, walking toward her.

"No, I email people who have ideas about making the country run as a modern democracy that appreciates the people that inhabit it. That's not a rogue group by any definition."

"It is to the government, young lady."

She stared at him. "I'm older than you, boy." He sneered. She stared at him. "Fine, bring me in. My lawyer will be right behind me."

"If we let you call him."

"That is within my rights."

"Not if we consider you an enemy."

She smiled and took his picture with her phone and sent it to her lawyer. "Don't worry, my lawyer knows you now." He glared as he made a grab for the phone but she slipped it into her bag. "Now, what questions did you want to ask me about my political involvement to get someone decent elected to most offices? I'm not totally politically active this year but I have been more active than normal." She shifted her stance to stare at him. "You can inject a question there, I left it open for you to question."

"That's not how it's done," he sneered, grabbing her arm. "I'm going to get you on obstruction charges and resisting arrest."

"I haven't resisted anything. The cameras around here will show that."

He smirked. "They're ours, Lewis."

"Not the ones at work." She pointed behind her. "I doubt you can get those even with a subpoena."

"Don't worry, we'll deal with them soon."

"Down," Natasha ordered. Darcy moved as ordered. She knocked the agent out. "He is not an agent of any agency and he was pretending to be a security guard last month." She hauled the guy up.

Darcy moved back. "Need help?"

Natasha smirked. "No, I don't need help to break this one pathetic young man, Darcy. Go to your safety fallback."

She nodded. "I'm going to make the mob guys cookies again." She strolled off, getting on the bus to go home. It was safer than a cab, even if she did have to break someone's fingers for trying to undo her bra on her. She finally got home an hour later and went upstairs to put down her bag and let her dog out so they could go for a walk. She changed into something she could run in too just in case. Then she and her dog went downstairs with her needed things in case she had to flee tonight. She ran into a few of the mob guys growling at Clint. She smiled at them. "Guys, be careful tonight if the fake agent sorts show up, okay? One was really stupid enough to try to grab me outside work and they did not amuse me. I wouldn't want you guys hurt." She smiled. "That might make Clint do something today."

A few swallowed. "They're coming here?"

"They were mad that I was supporting someone other than the asshole I'm suing. Or so they said." She shrugged. "They tried really hard since they invaded Stark as fake security teams last month. So if they come, don't get hurt, okay?" They nodded, staring at her. "Good boys." She smiled. "Did you guys need more cookies today?"

"You're going to make us fat," one complained.

Darcy grinned. "You guys should be spending time in the gym anyway or else you lose your muscles. Even I go to the gym. It makes you look hot." She smirked. They groaned. "I'm sure Clint knows where the gym is, he works out a ton."

"You're a bit warped," Clint told her with a grin.

"Of course I am. There's people who are making me think evil thoughts again. I might have to find a good boy to cure them." The mob guys all whined. She smiled. "I require dating, guys. Real wooing, not stalking."

"We'll never be that sort of good boy you need," one complained.

Darcy walked over to kiss him on the cheek, wiping off some of her lip gloss. "That's all up to you, dear. Only you can decide what sort of boy you'll be." She walked off. "Lucky, want walkies?" she called. The blond dog ran over to go with them to the park.

Clint looked at them. "All this stress is making her evil."

"She's sounding like a mom," one complained.

Clint nodded. "Yeah, the stress is driving her that way. Even smutty times hasn't helped that yet." Bucky walked past them casually. "She's walking both dogs."

"I saw. And got told who was after her at Stark tower." He looked over. "The idiot's friends tried to gather her to prove her wrong by beating her then raping her." Clint grimaced. "Natasha was amused at them."

"She won't save us any," Clint said dryly. "Even if there's more of them she won't save me any to hit."

James grimaced but nodded. "I know. Me either. Or Steve since he heard and went to talk to them about subverting the political process." He walked off with a sigh. "Lewis, let's talk," he called as he got closer to the park. He found her beating someone with a piece of a tree she apparently picked up off the ground. He caught the thick stick, looking at her. "Problems?" he guessed, smirking at her.

"He told me my dog needed to fuck me. Then tried to throw something on the dogs. Pity." She looked down at the groaning guy. "I may not be the fighter Natasha is but I'll damn sure make sure you pay if you hurt me or my friends or my pets. Do I need to make this more plain?" He patted his hip and something whined. Bucky shot it, ending the weapon's use. And the guy's hip.

She smiled at him. "Thanks." She saw an officer jogging over. "Freeze, you're about to step into the puddle of chemicals he tried to throw on my dog." The officer froze and looked then walked around the puddle. She pointed and told him what had happened. He called that in so they could clean up the puddle before some stray animal drank from it. Hazmat showed up to take samples and they were not happy. But they could get it cleaned up. "Was it that bad?" she asked.

"To promote going into heat," one of the Hazmat team told her.

She nodded once. "Like most responsible dog owners, mine's fixed, bitch," she told the guy on the ground. "Wouldn't do much for him. He could hump all he liked but it wouldn't do anything." She looked at the officer. "Bucky ended the dangerous sounding whine that he patted into sounding off," she warned.

"I can see the remains of something mechanical," he admitted.

Bucky squatted down to uncover it. "Yeah, that's a small yield explosive device." The officer groaned. "It's shut down. Can't go off. I blew the timer."

"Thank you," the officer said. "Who are you, sir?"

"James Barnes."

"I know that name from somewhere," he admitted.

"As in James Buchanan Barnes," Darcy clarified. "The other super soldier."

He blinked at him then at her. "We have another Avenger here?" She nodded. He looked at him. "Is this the security fall back?"

"No, this neighborhood is quiet with few threats so I moved in at Clint's suggestion," he said blandly, staring at him. "Darcy moved here when her last place got invaded by idiots."

"Wow. Okay....um, do the normal locals bother you?"

"The 'bro' guys?" Darcy asked with a smile. "No, they've been *really* helpful to me a few times actually. They've protected me and my dog more than once. That's why they call me Cookie Lady. I make them rum balls each time they help me." She grinned at one staring at them. "You guys are so helpful sometimes."

"We're supposed to be commanding and strong," he said.

Darcy giggled. "Strong men are always good but commanding is for battles. Not for neighborhoods. Like that one neighborhood someone took me from the grocery store of. He's chill and all that until something happens. He proved his strength and people remember that."

He nodded. "We're younger." She smiled at him. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. He tried to throw something at Conor but I found a stick." She smiled at him. "Lucky's behind you."

He looked at the dog then at her. "He should go home. You too before more come."

She walked over with her dog, patting him on the arm. "Ooh, someone's been to the gym. Gotta keep up those muscles, Arvil." He snorted but smirked at her. She gathered Lucky and they walked off followed by Barnes and the mob guy. "I'm going to make chocolate chip cookies tonight. Beating him put me into a great mood. Some cookies and some wine will make a great dinner. Right, Conor?" He barked and agreed with his smiling, happy human. She jogged up the stairs with the dogs. Clint would come get Lucky whenever he wanted to. They liked to play together.

James huffed. "We have got to find a way to get her out of evil mode."

"Bro, she's flirty," the mob guy Arvil complained.

James looked at her. "Dames flirt like that to get out of something. It let her get away from the bad guy and get away from the officer in case he was another threat. Though, yeah, you could all use some gym time." He smirked a tiny bit. "Mine are much better."

"Yeah, but we're not enhanced."

"I had muscles before they got me, boy." He flexed. "These all came from work, not from a serum. I'm not Steve." He strolled off. "Lucky's playing with Conor," he called up to Clint's open window.

"Sure," Clint called down. "Thanks."

Arvil went to talk to the other guys. Maybe they should join a gym. That way they were ready when someone else came into their neighborhood trying to get the two Avengers or Cookie Lady. Weights weren't that expensive to buy for their meeting area. A few had some at home even.

***

Clint leaned in Darcy's doorway later, smirking down at her since she had opened it when he knocked. "Miss Lewis, I'm Agent Barton and I was sent to talk to you about your evil ideas and prompting the neighborhood boys to become tougher to defend us."

She smiled. "I just mentioned that real strength is more than shown, Agent Barton. Is it upsetting someone's plans?"

"No but we're worried you have plots. Or possibly minions."

"Why would I need minions?" She smiled. "I have a puppy for that."

"He's a good minion too." He stared down at her. "The officer that dragged that idiot off asked me to please make you calm down. Something about too mean?"

"I wasn't that mean to him and he tried to drug the dogs!"

"You beat him with a branch, Darcy."

"Not like I can throw an effective punch and I was saving my tazer in case I had to get away from someone."

He stepped in and shut the door, making sure the dogs were all on the couch. Cutey was there too for some reason. "Kate just dropped her and ran?"

"She's got an archer thing to do tonight she said. Cutey's been in a foul mood all day."

"Ah." He kissed her and then stepped back. "We have got to get you out of evil mode."

"It'll let me handle any threats that come my way," she quipped, walking off. "Want dinner?"

"Are you cooking? You haven't in weeks."

"I made cookies earlier and I had wine with my chocolate chip cookies."

He stared at her. "That's a screwed up meal, even for you," he said, hauling her out of the kitchen once he checked to make sure everything was off. He hauled her into the bedroom, leaning down to kiss her again. "We need you out of evil mode, Darcy. Please?" He grinned. "Let the rest of us do some evil."

"Fine." She waved a hand. "You can do evil for me if you want. I won't even call you a minion."

"No, I was a minion, but I'm freelance now," he said dryly, kissing her again. He looked down at a loud bark. "I'm not hurting her, Cutey. Behave!" He put her back onto Lucky and came back to find Darcy pulling her hair up. "Is it in the way?" he joked.

"Yup, a lot." She undid her shirt and let it fall off her arms. He closed the curtains and then pounced her onto the bed to try to cure her evil mood again. It lessened some each time, he just needed more stamina this time.

Darcy looked down in the middle of the groping foreplay and groaned. She looked at Clint. "We have helpers."

Clint looked back at the foot of the bed. Cutey was sitting on the bench down there surrounded by the other two dogs. They were all watching them. "Go to the living room, dogs." He pointed. They barked and Cutey lapped his foot. Darcy let out a moan and Cutey at least left after a friendly bark at them. Lucky looked confused and Conor was staring at them intently to make sure they weren't a threat to his human. "Shoo! We're making puppies!" She laughed but flipped over under him. That was a position they understood. The very male, fixed dogs barked and ran off, Conor pawing at the door until it partially closed. He looked at her. "The dogs are smarter than some agents I've worked with."

"Some of the scientists I used to work with too." She flipped back over and they got back to it now that they didn't have innocent eyes staring at them from the end of the bed.

Clint paused. "Kate taught Cutey to flee when she groaned?"

"Yeah, I had to teach Conor I wasn't in pain when I moan." She smiled. "They're protective of their humans."

"I guess I get that. Lucky just likes to watch." He shook his head and got back to it. It was always good with her so that was great.

***

Darcy showed up for work the next day, smiling and happy. "Morning, Pepper."

"Morning, Darcy." She watched her walk then sighed. "I thought someone was going to make her less bouncy," she muttered, getting back to work. She looked down at the bark, taking the envelope from Lucky's mouth. "Thanks, Lucky. Good boy." She petted him and he lapped her hand then ran off. She opened it to look at and groaned. Clint had tried to take Darcy out of evil mode. It had only worked partway. "Great," she muttered, tucking that into her desk drawer. "Just great." She got back to work, not wondering what sort of evil was going to be coming from her assistant.

Darcy strolled in an hour later with two folders and a bunch of papers. "You could've just asked for girl gossip, Pepper," she said dryly, giving her a look. "I would've shared. It was great." She smiled. "But then again I woke up this morning to a threat on my twitter account about being a whore around the team."

Pepper stared at her. "You've had more than one of those?"

"Yeah. I get one every few months. This sender is new, but the message isn't." She shrugged. "I've turned them into twitter already." She handed over the folders. "The financial disclosure statement as far as the accounting department said. No idea, I've only seen that set of forms in passing. This is the present request file." She smiled and pointed. "One of those looks like it might be really interesting as a research study, seeing if you can get mildly autistic kids to like learning about things like archeology as a means to getting them educated in history since hands-on learning seems to work fairly well with some of the more mild cases." Pepper nodded, looking at that. She smiled and put down the stack of papers. "The background checks."

"Darcy, we already did those."

"I asked. They said they didn't do them until they had the short list."

Pepper winced. "Really? I thought we did those before we did the list."

"I asked Miranda, who used to do it for you, and Sasha, who was handling it up until you hired me. They said we do it after we make the short list to weed the list down. And six of them are really not going to look good."

Pepper put down the grant application to look at those, blinking at one. "They do what?"

"It's in the background but I laid out the reason for those." She pointed. "Sixteen kids they promoted for help and used in advertising have disappeared. Not at home, in the US." Pepper scowled but kept going over that. "I asked Natasha if that looked like a people farming or selling operation and she said that was a quaint, naive notion of how those things worked but it did appear to possibly be that way.

"She said she's looking into it behind the scenes just in case." She pointed. "Two others have ties that are...frankly rancid to me but I'm not sure they're more than questionable to the organization." Pepper stared at her. "They're like that one group that promoted white culture while feeding the poor people in their area and telling them that they're poor because they're not white."

"I remember that mess," she agreed. She went over them all, nodding and putting some into a separate pile for inclusion. "That leaves us two short." She looked at Darcy. "Any ideas?"

"On the longer list were two that looked decent from the top but not totally." She pulled them up on her tablet to show Pepper. "I didn't do any sort of google search on them but they looked like promising start ups and I know this one," she said with a point. "Was working with the group I worked with in Chicago if it's the same group and not just the same name. They were anti-bullying but were doing joint efforts with other groups."

"All right," Pepper said. "Can you search them within a few hours? We have a meeting tonight."

"It takes me about an hour and a half each one unless there's something in the background that looks not good." She stood up. "I'll look them over." She went back to her office to do that.

Pepper called one of the board members. "Don't we do searches on the possible groups before we make the list?" She listened. "Oh, that's reasonable I suppose. It would take less time. No, Darcy found a few troubling things about a few on the short list so she's looking at two that looked promising before the meeting. That was one and the other one was an educational and anti-bullying one that used to work alongside the group she worked with before. Yes, that one. I can but it'll be a tight fit to get it in before the meeting." She sent Darcy an IM from her laptop. "Okay, I've added that one. Thanks." She hung up and went back to reading over the checks Darcy had done. Natasha strolled in. "Did you look at that one group?"

"I have and they're fairly hiding their evil behind their money. It looks like that televangelist who got caught with his hands in the till." She sat down to look at Pepper. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Just a bit tired. Things have been hectic recently. I have spa time in about two weeks."

"That's good. How is Darcy working out?"

"She's actually saved me a bit of work. She did all the searches for me and is doing a few more just in case."

"That's good."

"Why?" Pepper asked, staring at her.

"Her former boss wants her back." She showed her the facebook post missing Darcy's organizational skills.

Pepper read it, grimacing. "I can see why. She did the same thing in the labs." She handed the phone back. "I'd hate to lose her."

"I can do it at night if I need to help her," Darcy called as she walked past the doorway. "Pepper, I just got told to go talk to the loud man in the lobby who Stark hates."

"Which one?" Pepper demanded. "Get back here!"

Darcy came in with a glass of iced tea for her and a pastry from the cart up the hall. She smiled as she put them out of the way on the desk. "Hammer is out and here demanding to talk to you. Security thinks I can bullshit him until he leaves. I think I can hurt him if he tries shit." She smiled. "Let me go handle that and we'll talk with Shelly later tonight about what she actually needs me to do. It's possible I can go back to doing it at night."

She walked off, pulling her hair back to look more formal once she was in the elevator. She checked herself, then nodded as she did up an extra button to look more frigid and formal. She walked off the elevator, going over to where the huffy man was waiting. "Pepper Potts is a very busy woman," she said bluntly, staring at him over the rim of her glasses. "She sent me to see what you wanted and why you are here, Mr. Hammer. She's busy with Maria Stark Foundation business."

"I need to see her," he growled. "Not some peon."

"Watch this peon destroy your plastic surgery nose," she shot back. "I am not a minion and I'm all you're getting so speak before I have you thrown out."

He looked her over, sneering. "You look like a minion."

"Hmm. Then you have no taste and no knowledge." She smirked a tiny bit. "Your opening to tell us what you want is shrinking. People are tooting horns as the I might give a damn train pulls away from the station." She waved at him. "One last chance. What did you need to see Miss Potts about?"

He stared at her. "Someone needs her help."

Darcy tipped her head to the side. "She's not an Avenger. Is it something one of them could handle? I can see if one of them is not busy if it's that important. If they can't they could tell someone who could handle it."

"They wanted Miss Potts due to her specific skill set."

"Paperwork?" she asked dryly. "Really?"

He scowled. "Don't act as stupid as you clearly are," he sneered.

She smirked. "Yes, I'm so stupid but I also know that those skills are no longer available. I also know why they're no longer available and who sent you to capture her for ransom." He stiffened. She stared at him. "Now, do you still need Pepper?" He glared and grabbed at her. She blocked his hand and hit him back. "No, I don't think so. I don't pay ransom."

"You're nothing. No one would pay for you."

"Miss DeCriths, is there a problem?" one of the agents asked.

"No. Mr. Hammer was just here expressing an interest in Pepper's skills so he could possibly use them for his own ends." She waved a hand. "I've got it." He came closer, hand on his gun. She glanced at him then at Hammer. This totally sucked. The guy was HYDRA. She recognized him from Chicago. She sighed and looked at Hammer, who looked smug. "You won't win, Hammer. Really, you won't."

"You're worth a lot more than Potts," he sneered.

"And I'm harder to get." They both lunged for her and she kicked Hammer in the stomach as she ducked the grab. They managed to grab her sleeve so she grabbed her self defense knife and stabbed the agent. Security guards were coming to pull her away and get her out of there and she went willingly. She looked at her shirt, scowling. "I don't want to have to shop," she complained, looking at the torn fabric. "I hate shopping." The guard with her gave her an odd look so she pointed at the tear in her sleeve. "I really hate shopping."

"I can understand that," he agreed. He escorted her up to the office, letting her sit down. "They wanted to capture you and when an agent called her by a different name, that agent and Hammer both wanted to capture her," he reported to Tony since he was in there as well.

"He was HYDRA. It was the guy who dosed me in Chicago. Apparently they think I wouldn't remember him," she said sarcastically.

Tony looked at her. "Why did they want Pepper?"

"His eyes showed that I hit the jackpot when I noted he wanted to kidnap her to ransom," she said, standing up. "Let me get back to work. Those checks won't do themselves and this way I can have coffee and throw a fit in private." She walked off. "Have fun with them."

"Thanks," the guard said, looking at his boss.

Tony smirked. "I agree, have fun with them."

"Yes, sir." He went to help the rest of the security team. They really had to figure out how to handle these threats. They were weirder than the ones against Stark. Though it was nice that a hidden SHIELD agent had called in for them to be arrested. He walked over to one of the arresting agents. He looked familiar but it wasn't coming to him right off. "Can we go over why this threat exists? He went from wanting to kidnap Ms. Potts to wanting Miss Lewis. And that supposed agent called her by another name."

Agent Coulson looked at him then sighed. "That's a long briefing. I can have someone do that though." He snapped and pointed. "May, brief him about Lewis."

"Sure," she said, coming over to talk to the security team about Lewis and her safety issues. During it, Lucky delivered a used target card and a name overtop of the perfectly placed hole in the center. "Barton's mad that they tried this," she quipped, putting it aside.

At the end of the hour of talking about Lewis, the head of the security team looked at her. "Is there any way we can keep that sort of threat down?"

"Make sure that they keep the idiot that started it in jail," she said bluntly. "And you're already alerted to HYDRA anyway. AIM is much the same but weirder and into science so they'd probably want to invade anyway."

"So we have one more high value target who comes here to work. Can we get her to move somewhere closer and safer?"

Melinda smirked a tiny bit. "She lives within sight lines of Barnes and Barton. She has charmed some of the boys in her neighborhood so much that they protect her and call her the Cookie Lady," she finished dryly. "I would not want to mess with the Russian mafia. Would you?"

"No," he admitted. "Seriously?"

"Yes. She makes them cookies when they help her with things. They all protect her and her dog."

"We've seen the fluffy thing," one of them agreed. "It's cute and well trained." She smiled and nodded. "Okay," the guard said, looking at his boss. "So how do we protect her? Is she driving to work?"

"Subway," she said. "Sometimes a cab. She had a car but it was targeted by officers and others inappropriately so she hasn't replaced it yet."

"That's not safe," the head guard said, rubbing his forehead. "Does she know that?"

"Yes but she believes it might be safer as there's others there who may help if she runs into problems and it's harder to snatch someone from a subway train than carjacking her."

"That's a possible point," one of the guards said with a nod. "I'll have a talk with her, boss?"

"Please," he agreed, waving a hand. "Go over the security details for her apartment as well."

"She has an electroshock system on her doors and windows," Melinda said. "Without the right code, trying to open the door or kick the door in will shock you like her tazer will. The backup battery lasts for two days as we found out after the last attack that knocked out power."

"We've heard she likes tazers," another guard said with a nod. "Sure. Is she taking self defense lessons?"

"No. So far she has done fairly well on her own. They only managed to capture her twice. Once for a few weeks."

"That's the one they kidnaped," the head guard said with another nod. "Sure." He sipped his coffee, looking at his team. Then at the agent. "What more do we need to put up in this building?"

"So far Stark seems to have mined the building very well and your teams are good. You could use a few extra people but I believe Hill is fixing that." They just nodded. "Otherwise, just put her on the same sort of cautious watch over visitors like you do Jane Foster and Pepper Potts."

"Only one person's come for Dr. Foster and that was to get her back for saying Thor was an alien," the head guard said. "They got walked out screaming and ranting so the NYPD could put her somewhere calmer." Melinda smirked at him. "Sure, we can do that. Is having her here going to draw more problems here?"

"She's an extra target when they come for Stark's gear," she said.

"All right. We can handle that. We'll put her on the monitored list so we know where she is if something happens. That way we can shove her into a safe room the next time the tower is raided." He looked at that one agent, who nodded, going to talk to her. They could train her to react during emergencies.

Melinda went to report to Coulson, who said it was a good idea to get Darcy a new car as well. They'd have to talk her into it.

***

Darcy sighed as she walked into Pepper's office. "I'm to train with your team the next time they do a training for emergency procedures."

Pepper looked at her. "Seriously?" She nodded. "So how to get into a safe room?"

"That too." She handed over the list the guard had drawn up. "Also I'm to get Clint to report to them about how safe my apartment is and to let him talk me into buying a new car so I'm not on the subway like everyone else."

Pepper smiled at her. "It would be more convenient, Darcy."

"It would better if I moved into a palace," she said dryly. "With a crack security team."

"I've had that feeling," Pepper agreed, still smiling. "Are you all right?"

"Just a bit frustrated. I miss my free wheeling days of not worrying about things like HYDRA and kidnapings. Well, of more than sex I guess." She sighed. "I really miss just taking off and going to party for a weekend." She walked off. "Maybe I need to just go on a wild trip for a few weeks when I get vacation. Go somewhere for singles and drink and flirt and fuck." She frowned as she walked. "Do I want to buy a new car? It's a pain in the ass in this city," she muttered. She walked past Stark, nodding at him. "Is there somewhere that's like a spring break only for adults who have sense when they're not there?"

"A few," he admitted with a smirk at her back. "I'll send you brochures."

"Thanks. I'm missing my first college partying days again." She went back to her office.

Stark shook his head with a sigh, going to talk to Pepper. "She wants to go on college kid spring break for adults."

"The security team was trying to make her do responsible things like buying a new car."

"She has a car."

"That ticket thing got it noted to everyone so they're all trying to find something against her when she drives it." She smiled at him. "They're going to train her how to find a safe room."

"The last incident we had, she headed for the baby to protect her." Pepper winced. "Which was a good idea that time."

"She's wearing herself thin," she said quietly.

He nodded. "She's young, she's used to a lot of work thanks to working with Jane."

"One of these days I'm going to limp into work with a broken heel, torn clothes, and holding a severed head," Darcy said as she dropped off something then left again. "I'm taking twenty to call my lawyer about that idiot. He just went on the news to proclaim I had asked him to grope me, it was a sex game."

"Go talk to PR," Pepper called after her. "They can call a reporter."

"I can do that on my own after I talk to my lawyer," she called back. He called her on the way down in the elevator. "Hey, Brian," she cooed. "I got a tweet about that and nearly got sick from the implications I'd screw that limp, diseased, worthless dick." She stepped off the elevator. "Please do, Brian. I'm sure you'll have *lots* of fun with him. No, I'm going to find a reporter. You too, dear." She hung up and walked around the tour group of kids. Which was a bit odd since they weren't a factory or anything. She went outside and snapped at a reporter that was doing a story. "Hey." The reporter stared at her, eyes wide. "Yeah, I saw his story. One of you guys sent me a tweet about it. Can I make a statement?" She smiled.

"You're that DeCriths woman," she said slowly and carefully, backing away from her. "We're with Fox News."

"That's fine. Because that diseased, worthless piece of crap that I'm suing for his gross acts went on your news station to tell them I had asked him to grope me due to a sex game. Hell no I'd never touch that, even if I had to save humanity with it. I would literally let every single being on this planet die before I touched him." She smiled. "Not that I don't think he's the major buyer of viagra in the city, but his trophy whore he bought this last time probably appreciates him not putting his tiny, liver spotted hands all over her."

She moved closer. "As a matter of fact, there's no way his new ploy to get out of trouble is in anyone's fantasy. Maybe his but I have taste and eww, he's not anyone's type. That's why he has to buy models as wives." The reporter was nodding quickly, licking her lips as she took another careful step back. "Watch out, there's a crack behind you." She looked and nodded slightly. "By the way, that lie upped the lawsuit part that's against him for trying to ruin my rep. I've already let my lawyer know he can be as evil as he wants to be." She smiled her sweetest smile. "I'm pretty sure it'll just make me a happy girl."

"So, his remarks about you this time were false?" the reporter asked.

"Yeah. Just a tiny bit like the Grand Canyon is a sidewalk crack. I might have to find drugs to get that icky mental image of him touching me out of my head. Oh, you might want to watch out. He's groped one of your coworkers in the last few months. She's suing him too." The reporter blanched, shaking her head. "Yeah." She smiled. "My lawyer told me that she joined that one against him."

The camera guy looked at her. "What are you going to do if you win and he actually pays you?"

"I'm going to give the money to the charities he promised money to if they fired me," she said dryly. "He hasn't paid them either."

"He did what?" the reporter demanded.

"Sent letters to the charities I was working with telling them he'd give them grants if they fired me immediately. I let them because money's always so tight that it's beyond penny pinching at most charities. Which he never made good on. They're suing him in federal court." Darcy grinned. "A few of those are international and country-wide charities instead of state or local ones."

The reporter swallowed. "Why does he hate you?"

"Because I proved he can't have what he wants by not letting him grope and finger me at that convention. Though he had noted in a statement before then that he thought I was hot. He had no idea who I was at the convention, he just wanted to grope and by the video camera footage he followed me to grope me." She shifted her weight then looked up at the alarm. "Oh, shit. You guys get to safety. Now!" She pointed. "Right now!" They rushed to somewhere to watch it and Darcy rushed inside and for the stairs. One of the guards pulled her into a safe area. "Get Emma!" she ordered with a point. "Lucky's probably with her."

The guard called that in, nodding. "She's locked in her mother's lab."

Darcy pointed. "The kids group."

He stared at her. "What?"

"There was a kid's tour group signing in when I was coming out."

He called that in and agreed, they were the cover for the problem. He got Darcy to a safer area and they were joined by a guard with Jane and the baby, plus Lucky.

Darcy looked up at the roar. "Bruce is really mad," she quipped. "Wow." The building shook. She sighed, looking at Emma. "Hey, kiddo. You okay?" She nodded, sucking on her mother's finger while petting Lucky. "Okay. You just stay calm. We'll handle this. It's an adult thing." They both looked up at the lights flickering and the sound of thunder. "Wow, your dad's mad. They must've woken him up from a nap." Jane cuddled the baby harder. "Hey, Lucky, you're a good boy." She petted him and he calmed down.

"Watch Emma," she said with a point. "Emma's really important. She's a little arrow." Lucky snuffled the baby and licked her cheek then sat in front of the door to make sure no one got in there. He barked when someone tried the doorknob. Darcy had her tazer in hand and used it as soon as the door opened. That brought down one of the two. She discharged the cartridge to get the bare tines to zap the other two since one came to help those two. She kicked the one that tried to grab the dog. "Don't even. The dog's better than you are." She was splattered by blood. "Eww." She brushed it off. "Thanks, Clint. Your dog's fine."

"I'll let him know," Barnes said as he stomped past them. He kicked a foot out of the way and shut the door again. A guard came running. "They went after Foster and Lewis with the dog and kid."

The guards got them out of that safe area and upstairs to one for the administrative offices. Lucky went to sniff and bark at Pepper then came back to cuddle the tiny human. His human liked the tiny human. And she did pet nicely. When someone tried that door a few of them had weapons this time. Emma squealed and hid but Lucky lapped her until she petted him. He barked when a familiar redhead pounced the idiot to knock him down and out.

Natasha looked in there. "Good boy, Lucky. Very good to guard Emma." She shut the door and locked it then hurried off.

Darcy looked around. Then up. "We have a ceiling hatch if we have to, people." They nodded. "Jane?"

"Emma's not great about enclosed spaces but she'll be okay if she's with me." She looked up then around. "Can we pick that open?"

"I can pick locks," one of the administrative assistants said. They shifted around so she could stand on a chair to reach the lock.

"This facility is now in lock down and under the new management of AIM," a male voice announced.

Darcy looked at the door then at the others. "Jane, you first. If they know who you are, they won't hesitate to take you and her." She nodded, handing Emma to Pepper before being helped up there. She took her daughter back and moved off to let others up. "Pep, you too please. You're the next most valuable target."

"They might not be here for us," she countered. "You should...."

"I have a weapon. You go now." She pointed. "Or I'll tell Happy and Tony both later." She grimaced but the redhead did climb up into the ducts. "Go, people. Crunch in if you have to. Go left then down and you'll make it to the main lounge area if that's been cleared of idiots." They got most of them up there before they heard boots. "Go," she ordered. "Just go." They closed the flap and that left Darcy with two others. She looked at them. They moved behind a filing cabinet. This had been an auxiliary filing room before being turned into a safe room. Not enough of one. Darcy grabbed the doorknob and held it from opening. They were trying to pull it open. Darcy waved a hand. It gave them time to get up there too.

"Darcy," one hissed.

Darcy shook her head and pointed. They closed the hatch again, moving away from it. Darcy looked up. "FRIDAY, if you can hear me, tell Tony they're safe," she said quietly. "And if I have to, they'll get me over my damn dead body." She didn't get an answer but they finally managed to yank the door open. She stared at them. "What do you guys want?"

"You were talking to the AI," one sneered.

"Everyone knows it's here. We ask her for stuff all the time. New music being played to ordering things for us while we're busy." She backed against a chair. "So?"

"You're coming with us." He hauled her out by her arm. There were seven of them on the team so she wasn't about to act up. She was taken to a bigger room to be talked to about what she did.

"Who are you?" the man in charge demanded.

"I'm the administrative assistant for the Maria Stark foundation," she said.

"You believe in *charity*," he sneered. "How charming. It's a weakness."

"Everyone needs help now and then," she said firmly. "Even kids."

"No they don't. If they can't do it on their own then they're not worthy," he sneered, hitting her.

She spit blood at him. "Then you wouldn't have teams with you," she sneered back. "That's help, jackass." He laughed and tried to hit her again so she headbutted him. She sneered at him. "Don't touch. I'm not yours."

"We can change that," he sneered back, moving closer to menace her. "You would do much for many." He stroked her cheek and didn't quite move fast enough to avoid being bitten. "Feisty," he sneered. "We'll teach you better soon enough." The guard team hauled her into a room and shoved her in. They had a guard in there to watch over them.

Darcy stumbled but someone caught her. She looked up at James, who quirked an eyebrow up. She stood up. "He thinks I'm feisty and he can correct that," she sneered. The guard laughed. Darcy turned and punched him. "That's for believing rape is a good thing. I hope like hell someone does it to you soon." She walked to the back area of the room, behind the others. James shifted back toward her. She slipped her tazer out and tucked it into his hoodie pocket, leaning on his arm. "I was doing background checks on some charities," she said quietly. "Before I went to sneer about that old guy and his newest statement of trying to annoy me." He nodded once. "Three uses so far, one cartridge," she said quietly. She pulled the knife off her hip and slipped it into his metal hand. "Am I making dinner tonight for the group?"

He nodded. "I could like that and so would the dogs."

"Can you two flirt later?" one stressed out assistant in the labs demanded, looking at them. Her eyes widened and Darcy glared at her. "Oh, shit," she muttered.

"Just calm down and breathe like it's a lab problem," Darcy said quietly. "You know Stark will fuck them up for this." She nodded, clutching the table she was sitting on. "Just breathe. It's a nice, normal panic attack and we don't have room for you to freak out." She got her calmed down and the woman nodded slowly. "Okay. Just breathe and ignore anything. They can't touch you. It gets them nothing since you have science skills and AIM is all about the wacky science."

"Stark's in the building," she moaned.

"I saw Stark drive past me when I was outside right before the alarm went off." She glanced at Bucky. "Emma was with her mom and Pepper out and about." He nodded at that. "And Lucky too."

"Good. I'd hate to see what he did if his dog got hurt." The tower shuddered at another something hitting it. He was casually shifting closer to the doorway, checking on a few people with her help. The guard was still sneering until James stabbed him in the throat. "Stay," he ordered quietly. "It's out of the way." They nodded and backed away.

Darcy looked at him. "Be mean for me please?" she asked quietly. He nodded. "Thanks."

"Welcome." He checked the door. Two guards. He heard something from the ceiling and looked up. A panel got moved and Natasha slid down to join him. "Which side?"

"Left," she said. He nodded and they shifted position. She kicked the door open and got under their guns since she was shorter and could move faster. He got them behind her back while she took on the further lying members of the group.

Darcy waited until the groups were suitably being whittled down. "C'mon," she said. "Lab floor three, the storage area with Banner's lab. It's got locks." They nodded and one was in a chair. Darcy helped by pushing her faster than she could wheel as they ran out together. Sam Wilson took over for her when she got grazed and she followed holding her arm. They made it to the right lab floor and there was more resistance there. Steve was fighting though. She poked Sam and nodded, leading him through the back ways. They made it to Bruce's lab and Sam took out the two agents in there so they could hide in the Hulk room.

Darcy was in the doorway and whistled. Lucky came jogging in and she got him in there with him before she shut and locked the door down. She remembered the override settings to get doors locked or unlocked. It still worked. She sighed, hugging the dog. "Hey, Lucky. You're a good boy and a great fuzzy butt." She sat against the door cuddling him. "People, we are locked in here until Stark lets us out," she noted. "Or Pepper with another Avengers member. There's minimal facilities and a small stash of water usually." She pointed at a cabinet. They settled down, a few using the facilities. Darcy listened to the fighting, wincing at a few screams. That wasn't their people, she was sure it wasn't their people.

"Are we totally safe in here?" one of them asked her.

"Yeah. This is the Hulk's room. Where Bruce goes when he has to calm down or to keep him from going over. It's reinforced at Bruce's instructions." That one nodded, settling down on the floor. She looked at the woman in the chair. "You good? I can see blood."

"It's on my side and it's not deep. I've got some pressure on it, Darcy."

"Okay. If we have a first aid kit, you guys use them. They looked and found one, helping those who need it get bandages. She did her arm and Lucky's left flank had a small graze she cleaned up and bandaged for him.

"Why are you treating the dog?" one of them demanded.

"It's Barton's dog. And my step-dog if I must be honest. It's keeping me calm before I have a heaving hissy fit."

"Oh. Okay," she said, backing down. They all heard someone female scream. A young female. Too old to be Emma though. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly and carefully. She looked around then at the group. She looked at Lucky. "You're a good boy." She petted him. She looked up. "FRIDAY? Status of the battle if you can?"

"All but three floors have been cleared, Miss Lewis," the AI said. "The one you're on is the heaviest. The secondary lab floor is under assault as they try to get into Dr. Fosters' lab and Mr. Stark's labs both." Darcy nodded once, sucking in another deep breath. "They are also in the medical unit but being kept out of the records."

"Thank you. Status of Emma?"

"She and her mother are both fine. They've all been led to a juncture that allowed them access back into a hallway and have been evacuated outside the tower by SHIELD forces."

Darcy smiled up. "Thanks."

"You're most welcome. Try to rest."

"Is Scott on this coast?" she asked.

"No. I'm afraid he's at home," the AI said.

"Any of the team not on site?" Darcy asked.

"No, they're all in attendance."

"Beep Kate Bishop," Darcy ordered. "They'll need the backup."

"I had not thought of that but Sir wanted them left out of most battles."

"Do it or I will," Darcy ordered. "They've got too many, you said so yourself."

"Point. I can ask if she's available." She paused. "She's in Canada."

"Fuck!" She petted Lucky then nodded once. "Look in my phone, which is in my desk. Beep Parker, Peter?"

"I can do that," the AI agreed. "Why?"

"Because he'll know who to call to come help. He's Stark's mentoree last I heard."

The AI paused. "He said he will tell others in town and will be here shortly. Do we...oh!" she suddenly exclaimed. "I see."

Darcy grinned up. "Yeah. I fixed a few injuries for him one night." She went back to petting the dog. "I wonder why Kate's in Canada," she muttered. "FRIDAY, can you call in some of the X-Men?"

"I had not thought of that because they do not get along well."

"Logan won't care," Darcy said.

"Point. He is in the city." She hung up with them and called him. "Mr. Logan, it is FRIDAY at Stark Towers. We need you to attend a meeting," she said from his phone.

He looked down. "Why?"

"Because AIM showed up to join in," she said bluntly.

"Coming," he agreed. "Twenty minutes tops." He paid for his lunch and headed out on the motorcycle he rode. "Any hot targets?"

"Most Avengers members are fighting on three floors of the building. Most civilians are locked up. It was one who told me to call you."

"I'll pat Lewis later," he said sarcastically. She's the only one outside of Rogers who had his number and Rogers didn't call out help that way. "Where's Barnes?"

"Killing a great number of soldiers with Agent Romanoff," the AI told him. "They're why the Avengers portions of the building are mostly cleared."

"Grand." He had to do a small jump using a tiny micro car as a ramp to get around the police barricades. It landed him in front of the tower and he ran inside to help. The elevators worked thankfully, running up sixty something flights of stairs was tiring right before a battle. He saw a window be blown in as he got up there and a familiar red bodied boy swung in on a web. "Parker."

"Got SOS'd," he said. "Where?"

"The other end of this hall is medical and they're trying to clear it faster," the AI said. "Then lab floors two and three," her voice was fading out. "I hate hackers. They're very rude."

"You do what you gotta do," Logan ordered, heading to handle it with the kid. Others rushed in to help.

***

Bucky looked up as the guy that had saved them from HYDRA landed on the porch outside and stomped in to help by throwing explosive playing cards at some of them. "We heard there was a problem," he said with a nod at Natasha.

"Remy," she said with a smile. "AIM is here."

"Great," he said. "Let us dance, cher."

"Lead on," she said. "I'll get the backup force heading for the infirmary."

"We have people helping there," Stark's voice called over the speakers. "Hit Jane's lab, Natasha. Clear that area."

"Got it," she answered, heading for the stairs. The guys went to handle the rest of the forces from the other side. They pinched them between the groups.

Natasha rushed into the lab and took out three agents with perfect shots and one not so perfect shot that made the man bleed on Jane's papers. Jane would yell later she was sure. She kicked him onto the floor to minimize the damage and she went to clear the other labs. She saw the light active on Bruce's room and considered. She knocked. "Are you agents?"

"No," Darcy called. "We're safe! We're the group they had upstairs, Natasha. I've got Lucky. Em's with her mom and Pep."

"Thank you. Stay."

"I hit the override."

"I'll let Stark know," she agreed. She reported that in as she went to help clear the other side of the lab floor. "Do they clone you?" she demanded when she ran into someone who looked exactly like the guy she had just shot.

"Twins," he said smugly, firing on her. His didn't hit anywhere near her and hers was effective to stop the smugness.

***

Logan looked up from using his claws, nodding at the guy that was behind him. "Cyclops."

"Logan. Who're they?"

"AIM. They wanted the lab and some people."

"That sucks. We had to hear from the news."

"I heard from the AI." He tossed someone into a wall and pierced their arm for them, sending them to the floor with a scream. "Join in. Please."

Scott nodded and got the rest of their team in to help. "Clear the floor," he ordered. "Don't touch anything. There's no telling what some of Stark's people are doing." They nodded and headed to fix it. He dove in with the main group. There were still too many agents.

FRIDAY came back up. "Thankfully I was reset by Agent Romanoff. Sir, all other levels read as clear of foreign agents. Just this floor is infested."

"Thanks," Stark called. "That's good news. Any more coming from outside?"

"No. Not that I can tell. They came up a sewer drain."

"They are like rats," Steve quipped, hitting one with his shield and then punching them into a glass wall. Suddenly the floor shuddered as something metallic moved. "Stark!" he barked.

"Not mine. Brandis must've been able to turn on his trial of a battle robot he was building for fun. No weapons but it's stomp happy. It likes to dance with Dum-E."

Steve shook his head. "I'll talk to him later." Someone shot him in the ass and he yelped, leaning against a wall. He threw his shield at them, knocking them down and out. "Fuck!"

"Getting shot in the ass hurts," Clint agreed cheerfully, hitting someone with his bow and fist, then tripping them to stab them with an arrow. "Takes forever to heal too because you can't sit up." He pulled out that arrow to shove it into the next guy's eye, which broke the tip. He shrugged and staked the next one in the ear. Then he got to move forward. "Hey, Logan," he said with a wave before hitting someone else.

"Next time send invitations and I won't be late," he quipped back. He clawed the one going for Clint's back and Clint shot the one trying to get behind the group. "This sucks."

"They have horrible timing and piss poor manners," Stark said dryly. "They really shouldn't come over to play without an invitation."

"Stark," Steve complained.

"What? They shouldn't! We would've thrown them a party if we had known they were coming. Or at least a tea." He shot a few others and got a hole in one of his leg armor pieces. "Thanks, really." He shot that one but he couldn't really move well now. One leg was like a heavy cast.

"Anyone seen my dog?" Clint asked.

"Lewis has it," Sam Wilson called from his spot. "Called him to join them in Bruce's safe room. She overrode it, Stark."

"Perfect. It's safe in there and has a bathroom for when you want to shit your pants."

Gambit smiled at him. "Remy has those days too," he admitted. "They are a good time to hide in a closet." He used his staff to beat two of the agents. Then most of them went limp and fell over bleeding from various orifices. "Kill switch?" he guessed.

Logan kicked one over, nodding. "Kill switch." He stood up with a moan, popping his neck. "Any others?" he called.

"No," the AI said. "All the other agents went down as well."

Sif stomped in looking glorious, handing over a remote to Steve. "It was their own stupidity that meant a simple remote could take out their soldiers." She looked around then at them. "The ones after Thor and Bruce have both went down. Mostly in a pond in a park nearby."

Remy stared at her. "You are quite the warrior," he said. "Remy would like to know your name?"

She smiled at him. "I'm Lady Sif, the warrior guardian to Asgard's heir."

Remy smiled. "Pleasure, cher," he said, kissing the back of her hand. "It's not every day that Remy meets talented women with your skills." She smiled at him and walked off. "If Asgard makes women like that, Remy might not mind moving some day. They probably have a bayou country too."

Logan hit him on the arm. "Really?" Remy grinned at him. "I saw the kid, Stark."

Stark looked at him. "Which kid?"

"The webbed one," he said dryly.

"FRIDAY, is he all right?"

"He is fine, Sir."

"Thank you. Everyone else?"

"Was either evacuated or in hiding," the AI said. "I've let in SHIELD forces only and their clean up teams."

"Thank you." He stood up straighter. "Let me get less dressed and we'll calm down over dinner. We can even host since I have many beers upstairs for the upcoming football season." He limped off.

Steve looked at them. "Anyone need medical?" A few nodded. "It's on the other side of this floor and up that half floor." He pointed. "The AI said it was clear." They moved that way. He limped off to check his team, starting with Sam since he was closer. "You okay?"

"My fists hurt," he complained, looking at him. "They need less hard jaws." He looked at Bucky. "You good?"

"I'm fine," he said, tucking the knife into his back beltline.

"Is that Darcy's tazer?" Steve demanded.

"When we were held together, she slipped it and her knife to me because they had mostly disarmed me. She was getting people cleared."

"I'm going to get her a suit as Super Assistant Woman or something," Sam said. He walked off. "Let me clean up the blood. They got me messy when their jaws broke."

Steve stepped closer. "You good?" he asked quietly.

"Yup."

"Good. Go clean up." He nodded, heading to do that in Steve's apartment. Steve limped off to medical. He'd need that bullet pulled before it healed inside him.

Stark came out and went to Bruce's lab, opening the door. Darcy had hopped up at the beeping noises so she was staring at him when it opened. "I don't think they wanted you this time," he said dryly.

"No but one thought I'd be great for team morale once they fixed the feistiness." She walked out. "Clint? I'll give him Lucky. He's got a small graze."

"Infirmary," he said with a point. "Anyone else need the infirmary?" A few waved a hand. "C'mon. It's safe." He escorted them to there or to the caf if they were healthy. He got checked over too. He had a few bruises. He came off the elevator on the living floor, hearing someone venting in the kitchen. He leaned in. "What are you doing?"

"Cooking to relieve my stress before I find a way to plant a bomb up someone's ass and send them back to them. It'd make them a better martyr." She looked at him then sipped her beer. "Simple food, casseroles and lasagnas." He nodded at that, waving a hand. "Thanks. Find Emma and her mom?"

"Going. Is Pepper?"

"With them."

"Good. How did they get you?"

"I evacuated them into the ceiling," she said. "We ran out of time."

He nodded, going to check on Pepper and Jane. Thor had Jane and Emma in a hug that wouldn't let anyone see Emma since she was smashed between them. "She okay, big guy?" he asked, patting him on the arm.

Thor looked down at him. "A bit dusty but otherwise unharmed, Stark. Everyone else?"

"Nothing serious. Jane, they were in your lab." She moaned. "Natasha took them out for you."

"Thank you. I'll check it later."

"I don't expect you in there before tomorrow," he ordered. She smiled at him. "Darcy's making casseroles."

"That is her stress relief," Jane agreed, shifting back to look up at her husband. "Food?"

"I will eat soon. I have to calm down first." She nodded, cuddling in again. Emma wiggled. "Hush, Emma. You're fine."

"I can't breathe, Dad!" He snorted but eased up on her. She wiggled free and hopped down, staring at Tony. "Where's Lucky?" she demanded. "He 'tected me so he deserves playing!"

"He's with Clint, honey. You can see him in a few." She pouted. "Go help Darcy in the kitchen?" He pointed. She ran inside with one of the agents following her. "Take her to Darcy," he yelled. The agent waved a hand. Jane smiled and snuggled in again. Tony found Pepper and hugged her the same way. "Thor has great ideas," he said in her ear. She cuddled him back. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Tony. How's Darcy? She made us go first." He pulled back to look at her. She nodded. "Jane and Emma then me."

He sighed. "She's wearing out stress in the kitchen." She nodded, cuddling in again. He just held her for now. He could talk to Darcy later. She was not to sacrifice herself. That was bad. He saw Clint walking out. "Did you run into Emma?" he called.

"We did and she hugged him and cried a bit so he lapped her until she just cuddled. Now we're going to the vet's." He got a ride from an agent who didn't want to take him anywhere but they knew not to refuse Barton. He'd take the keys and lock the obstructing one in a trunk.

Tony went back to his cuddling. Melinda May stomped over. "What were they after?"

"Jane's research and her if they could get her. They have no idea she has a daughter. One looked amused until his head exploded from a boot. That agent is doing sentences later to apologize for taking him out on me." She grimaced. "They wanted to look at your repulsors." Tony nodded at that. "And they wanted Bruce and Thor to test on. They had no idea Lewis was here or who she was. The only ones who spotted Barnes he took out with Romanoff so he's safe. Lewis is having a fit in the kitchen but it looks edible." She stared at him. "How did they get in?"

"FRIDAY said they came up the sewer."

"Good to know. We'll be going over that tomorrow. Who called in the extras?"

"Lewis had FRIDAY call them," Peter said as he landed next to them. He grinned at Tony. "Your lab's fine. I checked. It's a bit messy but nothing looks broken and the robots are trying to fix the mess." Tony smiled and nodded, patting him on the arm. "Bishop and her team was in Canada. She had the AI call me second and I called others. Logan said the AI called him too."

"That's good thinking," Melinda said. "Some day I may want to see her as an administrative agent." She looked at Stark. "We have the tower locked down for the next two days. Civilians are in checking over and debriefing status on their way home."

"That's fine. There's clauses in all the contracts for these things that give them paid days off," he said.

"Good. Much nicer than SHIELD's." She grimaced as Hill stomped over. "We heard you're here now."

"As of tomorrow. It was going to be next week," Maria Hill said sarcastically, looking at Stark. "We'll go over all the weak spots tomorrow. Any concerns from the team that I'll need to address first?"

"They're trying to train Lewis into hiding more often," Pepper told her.

Hill nodded. "I'll note that and make sure she's got disaster prep drills down." She nodded at Melinda. "I'll be at my desk at 0700 to start off. We'll do the general and then bring in the team at a later hour. Very few of them get up before nine." She walked off to take charge. "People," she noted. A few of them stared at her. "I am the new head of Stark Security. I was to start next week anyway." A few smiled. "Get the civilians debriefed and home ASAP. They need their families to calm down. Team meetings starting tomorrow afternoon." The head guards all nodded. "Good. For now, the tower's in lockdown for at least two days." She walked off, going upstairs. She ran into Logan, shaking his hand. "Logan."

"Hill."

"New head of security," she said. She looked in the kitchen at the irritated sounding grunts. "Lewis?" she guessed. He nodded.

"I'm fine," she called. "Go away, Hill. I'll be debriefed tomorrow. After I finish half a case of beer and finish cooking."

"Fine." She looked at Steve, who was sitting oddly. "Sharon's in town," she told him, getting a smile. "She's on mandatory downtime." She looked at Barnes, who was in the corner. "Barnes?" He looked at her. "You good?"

"I'm fine," he said patiently. "Really I am."

"Fine," she agreed. "Let me know if you need evacuated." He grimaced but nodded. "All right." She went into the kitchen, taking Lewis from the stove. "I will make sure personally you have all the disaster drills you need."

"I had them as a lab assistant, Hill. What makes you think I forgot them?"

Hill blinked. "I forgot about that." She smirked, sipping her current can of beer. "All right, we'll talk tomorrow."

"They weren't here for me."

"Good. Excellent in fact. Finish up? Everyone looks famished."

Darcy nodded, going back to putting things together and into the oven. Hill broke out the beer and the bar's stash for everyone else. They settled in to relax, calm down, and deal with post battle stress however they wanted. Remy started a poker game. It was unfair but they knew that about him. By the time food started to come out, everyone was a lot calmer and so was Darcy. She got hers to go and headed home quietly.

A guard stopped her at the doorway, staring at her. "No cabs," he warned. "No subway. Just in case, Lewis." She grimaced but nodded. He pointed a guard. "You live out toward Bed-Stuy. Take her?"

"Sure. C'mon, Lewis. Where do you live?"

"By that nice park."

"That's fine. I live about seventeen blocks on the other side of there so I can drop you there." She smiled and nodded. He drove her home, letting her out at the park. She walked off. A few people watched her but they looked like thugs to him. He'd mention that to Hill tomorrow.

Darcy looked at the guys staring at her. "Guys, had a shitty day," she said bluntly. "The dog and I are going to have wine for dinner."

"He's there with the tiny mutt," one of them told her. "Used the fire escape to bark at a mugger."

She smiled. "Cutey's a good dog too." She went up to her apartment, dropping things on the kitchen counter on her way to change. "C'mon, guys, come help me." They ran in to get petted and rest with the human puppy mother. She was cuddly so that was good.

Back at the tower, Barnes looked around then snuck out, going home. He spotted Darcy's lights on and Clint's lights were on too. So that was good. It meant they were safe for now. He had to figure out how to sneak more weapons to the tower when he went. He had thought four knives was enough with a few guns.

***

Darcy looked out her bedroom window that night, smiling since Clint's ex-wife was there nagging him by the look on her face and her hands on her hips. Darcy texted Clint to send the dog over so he got some free stress relief touching in without fuzzy help. Clint looked over and waved her off so she shrugged and went back to playing with the other two dogs. Though Lucky did make it over there with a huff of noise as he snuck in the open window. She petted him.

"You're a good boy. Your human just needs some human snuggles, baby. You can cuddle us." Cutey came over to sniff tails with him and licked the sore spot, making Lucky lick her back. Conor bowled into Lucky to knock him down and sniff the head cone he was wearing. They both took care of their buddy, making Lucky relax and wag his tail in happiness. Darcy got them special meals and put them down, letting the dogs munch before coming in to cuddle her on the bed.

Clint's ex-wife knocked then leaned in. "We don't mind Lucky," she called.

"He likes to watch," Darcy said with a grin and a wave. "Plus these two wanted to spoil him for being so helpful and guarding Emma earlier."

"Awww. That's fine then. Clint won't mind."

She smiled. "That way you don't have to look down at the foot of the bed to see the confused doggy look."

Bobbi snickered. "Seen that once already." She closed the door and walked off happier. Clint stared at her. "They're licking his stitches for him and making him a happy puppy in reward for helping you and guarding baby Foster."

"They're good at it too." He pulled her down. "Darcy's a great helper."

"I'm sure she is but I'm not into threesomes, Clint." She took a kiss.

Kate opened the door and nearly stepped in. "Never mind. Ignore me." She waved and closed the door, making sure it was locked before she went over to Darcy's apartment. She walked in and looked. "At least I didn't walk in on you like I did those two." She pulled the curtains closed. "That way we don't have to see them go at it."

"She's pretty but taken by work," Darcy said dryly. "How was Canada?"

"Boring. The tower was attacked?" she demanded.

"By AIM."

"Fuck!"

"Yeah. Lucky got a bit injured helping Clint and guarding Emma so the other two have been babying him."

"Aww, I like that you like Lucky that way." She settled in to pet Lucky too. "You're a good dog. Teach Cutey to help me that way too, okay?" He snuggled with this human, who laid down on the bed next to Darcy to get the dogs between them. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I helped evacuate. Got told I was feisty and they could cure that," she said dryly. "So I bit the scuzzy asshole."

"Blood testing," Kate said with a wince.

"I didn't draw blood that time. And I test every year anyway. It's in another two months."

"That's reasonable." She cuddled the dogs, letting them calm her down. "I need to find a source of stress relief. None of us have ex's we can go pounce."

"Some teams do have people who screw in extreme circumstances," Darcy quipped.

"Yeah but then they get naggy. It's our age, we get cuddly."

Darcy nodded. "I remember. Cuddly not so much but hovering now and then...yeah." She nodded with a grin. "Tindr?"

"Eww! So many diseases and you don't know what you're going to run into for real when you meet them."

"Well, there's the tried and true renting one. Someone really should start a high class call operation for supers and their needs."

Kate burst out giggling. "I can't even imagine Rogers' face if someone suggests that to him."

She pulled her phone over to text Bucky. Who sent back she was warped and needed to go fix her own stress but he'd suggest it to Steve just to see that look on his face. He promised her a picture too. She showed it to Kate, who swatted her but was giggling. They fussed over the fuzzy things until Clint came over. Darcy looked at him. "That was fast. She busy?"

"Got called out," he admitted, coming to lay behind Darcy to pet his own dog. "You're a good boy to let them fuss over you, Lucky. Yes you are."

"Darcy suggested someone set up a high rent call girl operation for supers," Kate quipped with a grin for him.

"There's days I would've used them," he admitted. Cutey got up to bark at him until he petted her. Then she settled down to lick at Lucky's side. "Don't do that. You'll hurt him, Cutey." He pulled her off and tucked her under Lucky's chin. He could use a pillow to nap on and she liked that. Conor shifted so he was resting between the two sets of snuggly breasts.

"I told Barnes. He promised pictures of Steve's face when he suggested it," Darcy quipped.

"That'll be fun." He sighed, leaning on Darcy's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good, Clint. I bit one guy but didn't draw blood."

"Uh-huh. You know they're going to yell about you not going with them."

"No time. I was holding the doorknob so the last two could get up there."

"Shit."

"Yup. Besides, I had my tazer and knife with me. I was going to use them but there were seven of them so I was picking a better time. Then I got shoved into a room with Barnes so I let him have them. He can use them better than I can."

"Yup. Definitely. He and Natasha made a huge mess." Kate lifted up to look at him. "They can do some damage, Katie."

"I figured they could." Someone knocked so she got up to let them in. "Hey, James." She let him in and shut the door. "We're all cuddling the dogs. We can make room for you."

"I don't want to interrupt."

"Neither of us are screwing Kate," Darcy called. "Come join the cuddle pile, James." He sighed but walked in there. Kate got behind him, making him tense up but she just hugged him so she could go back to petting the dogs. "Kate's team was in Canada today."

"Going after some minor poking little twerp," she agreed. "Who turned out to be the son of a guy who was selling kids, and who used to know my dad, so we got to handle them too. The Canadians were really happy we didn't cause any damage but had stopped that shit."

James looked back at her. "You okay?"

"I'm just stressed. I know my dad wasn't *that* bad of a bad guy when he was one so I know he wasn't involved but the fact he didn't turn them in for it made me pissed off and I took it out on their head guy's kidneys." She shrugged. "He's down and out. The Canadians have the kids to rescue. It'll help stop some of that." He nodded, patting her arm. "Thanks."

Clint looked at her. "There's a hope that someday we can stop all those sorts."

"Yeah, there's a lot of hope," she agreed. They shared a look and she smiled. "Thanks, Clint."

"Welcome," he said, laying back down. Lucky lifted his head. "No, you cuddle. You're good, Lucky." He snuggled back in, letting Barnes pet him too. Darcy took the hood off him and it was easier for him to rest now. He lapped her nose for that and snuggled in better.

Kate smiled. "See, cuddle piles are always better," she said in James' ear. She snuggled into his back and he groaned. She patted his stomach. "I can pet you if you want but I know you're not into me." She went back to petting Lucky.

"You know, there's groups that have coordinated hugging events," Darcy said. "Just so you can go and hug for a few hours."

James looked at her. "Why?"

"Because hugs aren't as common as they used to be," she said dryly. "Now we club and just get laid there instead of an all night stand." He sighed. She hugged him and Kate gave him a squeeze. "See, hugs help. It's got the same effects as meditating does."

He shook his head. "So weird," he muttered. But he let them hug. At least Barton was only cuddling Darcy. He looked back at the snore. Kate was snoring into his neck. He shifted but she grabbed him and nuzzled too, then snored in his ear while wrapping a leg over his too. He relaxed and she went limp again and still snored. Darcy grinned at him. He just sighed again, shaking his head slightly. "Sure, hugs," he agreed.

Clint grinned at him. "At least she's not sucking this time. I've napped against her in the car and woke up with her chewing on my arm."

James looked at him then shook his head. "We should introduce group hugs to the team. See how many freak out," he muttered. Darcy giggled, hugging him again.

"Natasha would stab someone unless she was using it to tweak them," Clint told him. "But we could." He called Stark. "It's us. It was suggested we should institute group hugging sessions after battles for stress relief."

Stark choked for a good few minutes. "Excuse me?" he demanded. "Hell no we're not going to do group fucking hugs, Barton! They'd kill everyone!" He hung up muttering.

Darcy burst out giggling, shifting back to pull Clint's arm over her to hug it. "You're so mean to him. Thanks."

He kissed her on the temple. "Welcome." They settled in to calm down while petting the sleepy puppies.

"I can go," James said quietly.

"Not like I'm going to molest her in front of you, Barnes. You might want to take the cuddly thing from me and we're not actually together." He gave him a pointed look.

"You look like fun but I'd never pounce you. You don't seem like you'd like me to," Darcy agreed.

"You're a pretty girl," James told her. "Not too many men don't want to pounce you."

She snorted, shaking her head. "By today's standards I'm too curvy. They all want twiggy things like Kate, though she's more muscular than she looks. I'm not in fashion anymore and that's okay."

He shook his head. "Real men like curves on their dames because that means they're healthier," Bucky told her. "Even if the idiots only like skinny bitches without skills and boobs." He smirked at her. "Though if you pounce me, time it better than when you jumped onto my back for a piggyback ride."

She grinned back. "You needed it."

"Maybe."

"You did what?" Clint asked her, looking down at her.

"He was having a growling at Steve moment about the past stuff. About ready to throw something at him and Steve was trying to be forceful so I pounced on James' back and demanded he give me a piggyback ride to prove what those muscles were used for." James nodded, grimacing at her. She grinned. "It changed your mood completely, right?"

"It did," he sighed with a nod. "It made me quit growling at Steve and yell at her. But Steve praised her for handling the bad mood I was growling about." He rolled his eyes and put his head back down. "So weird."

"It worked, that's all that's important," Kate muttered into his hair. "Weird ideas sometimes are the best things."

"They are," Clint agreed. "Want me to grab one of Darcy's hair things, Kate?"

"My last girlfriend had longer hair and his tastes good so it's fine. Thanks." She drifted off again petting James' stomach.

He looked down at her hand then back at her shoulder since he couldn't see her face. "I'm not your dog." She nuzzled his throat and hummed happily. He looked at Darcy. "If she was a guy I'd probably have to fight off the hard on."

"Girls don't usually have one that shows through our clothes," she agreed. "But we do get just as horny, James. We enjoy sex a lot too. Just like you guys do. It just takes us a bit longer to get off usually."

He sighed, looking at her. "I knew that."

"Some women even enjoy masturbation more than sex," Clint said.

"Sometimes it's easier," Darcy admitted. "But less fun. You don't have that weight resting on you."

James looked at her. "Are you that desperate?"

"If I was I'd kick the dogs off the bed since Conor's apparently part tit-hound."

He looked at where her dog had nested his head between her breasts then at Barton. "He's taking your spot."

"Nah, she taught him to move when she's ready to make happy groaning noises. Unlike Cutey and my dog, who like to watch."

"Conor tried to watch whenever there's someone else here. Same as Cutey does. It's the protective instinct. Alone means less chance of harm." They all heard someone moving outside.

Kate got up with a growl, going to open the window and look at the guy standing there. "Do you mind? We're petting the dogs and calming down from the battles earlier. I had my arms wrapped around a dude who makes you guys look like dirty poolboys and my dog was loving her petting too." The guy blushed but handed over a note. "Thanks. Be good tonight. We're too tired to deal with shit without being super mean." She smiled and closed the window then pulled the drapes again, handing Darcy the letter.

Darcy looked at it, then showed Clint. He sighed but called Bobbi to let her know. "Lurking robot in the park," Darcy told Kate. Who slumped, shaking her head. Clint waved his phone with a grin. "Cool. They can handle it?"

"It's their job," he agreed, putting the phone above their heads. "Thankfully you bought a king sized bed," he quipped, snuggling into Darcy again. She smirked at him. "It fits. That's all I care about." James grunted, half asleep himself now. Kate was snoring again. It was cute. Clint kissed her on the cheek and they let themselves fall asleep too.

In the morning, Bucky woke up first and looked around. Then at the hand stroking his stomach again. She was still asleep because she was mumbling into his hair again. He wiggled his way out of the bed and to the bathroom. He came out of the shower and found Kate in there washing her hands after peeing. "Morning," he said, using a towel to cover himself.

She looked at him. "That was probably the best night's sleep I've ever had." She grinned. "You're great. You didn't even expect morning sex."

"I never expect morning sex until I've woken whoever up with coffee in bed," he quipped.

She smiled. "That could work." She moved closer and kissed him. "For the extra special sleep help." He moaned, staring down at her, frowning slightly. She grinned. "Let me help that scowl, soldier." She fell to her knees and moved the towel, getting some fun in. He groaned and held onto the wall as she sucked him, letting her do it since she clearly wanted to. He'd remember she was just barely eighteen later, when he felt bad about it. Because this felt really nice. He hadn't had this in a while. He came and leaned against the shower wall, staring down at her. She stood up with a wink. "That's a good wake up."

He pulled her closer to kiss her, looking at her. "Need some yourself?"

"I'm a screamer, I'd wake up Clint and Darcy." She poked him on the stomach. "Maybe sometime soon." She strolled off to start coffee.

James caught his breath and grabbed a pair of Darcy's sweat shorts. It was bad that they shared the same waist size but they were pretty unisex. He went to help Kate make breakfast.

"That was nice of her," Darcy mumbled, shifting some. Clint's hand was on her breast and she looked back at him. He blinked at her as he woke up. "Kate and Bucky are making breakfast."

He kissed her. "That's nice of them. Coffee a good thing." He kissed her again and shifted. "Darcy?" he asked.

She smiled. "I can feel you've been having great dreams," she quipped.

He smiled. "Yes I have." He shifted so he was overtop of her, he liked being on top and she had nothing against it. He stripped them partially off and dove in to love on her nipples for a bit. She wiggled and he used his dick to stab into her, making her moan. She flipped them over and sat up, letting him have a better angle for his mouth to her breasts while she made herself happy this morning. It was good for them and the dogs had already fled after the feeding people. "Mmm." He looked up and kissed her. "Morning."

"Morning." She kissed him again. "Get us both off?" she suggested with a grin.

"I can definitely do that." He flipped them back over and got to work making Darcy happy with his fingers as well as his dick. She flailed a bit once she was fully into it, which was a good thing. She finally came, biting into his shoulder so she wasn't too loud. He groaned into her neck as he came. They laid there for a minute then she licked up his throat. "You're sweaty."

"It was a lot of hard work," he joked. "We should shower." He got up with a groan, hauling her up to help him with that project. She didn't mind, he helped her wash her back too.

James looked up as they came out, smirking at them. "Feel better?"

"Much," Clint said with a grin. He took his cup of coffee. "Morning, Katie Kate."

She looked at him. "I'd kiss you but I don't want to know how Darcy tastes yet. She's only a really filthy fantasy to me so far." Darcy swatted her but took her coffee.

"I didn't lick her this morning," Clint quipped. "All you'd get is toothpaste." He sipped his coffee. Darcy hugged Bucky to get a piece of bacon. He looked down at her. "They're cuddly in the mornings before they get enough caffeine. Sometimes they fall asleep together on the couch with the dogs." He sipped more coffee.

"I'm not really used to cuddly people. None of my family was that into cuddling and neither was Steve when I lived with him."

Darcy grinned at him. "A lot of people online think that you bent him over night and day."

"Hell, two reporters asked me if you two were having a renewed love life," Clint agreed. He stole a piece of bacon too, going to sit down. "I told them to ask Steve. I think he asked Natasha instead."

"That would've been nearly impossible back then," Bucky said. "Everyone was a lot more nosy and there wasn't any insulation in those very thin, weak walls. They would've heard him grunting a lot because the nosy old ladies used to worry about him getting another chest cold." He looked at Darcy, who was all but asleep against his back. He sighed, looking at Clint, who only grinned. He nudged Darcy with an elbow. "You need to go nap on the couch, not on my back."

"You're really comfy to sleep on though." She grinned, getting more coffee and going to the living room to nap against Kate's arm. She was the right sort of soft, Clint had harder arm muscles so not as good of a pillow.

Kate looked at her, then stole her coffee to drink. She was falling back asleep anyway. Clint stole the rest of the cup of coffee from her when she drifted off. Kate was laying on his thigh and Darcy was on her arm. It was comfortable. Barnes shook his head, finishing the cooking and leaving stuff to eat when the girls woke up. Clint looked at him. "The reporters and others think that you're going to be fully healed when you're dating someone or at least dating again," he said quietly. "Because you used to be a playboy sort and if you're fully healed you'll be back to your old ways."

James shook his head. "War changes a guy."

"They don't get that," Clint agreed. "So they'll probably keep nagging about that point for the next few years. The same as they get onto Kate and America for obviously being the stress relief of the guys on the team. The same as Natasha got until she had to take out someone who broke into the interview space to kill her for Russia. Then the reporters all decided she was scary and kinda mean so she must enjoy dominating men but we're too tough so they think she has a submissive on the side somewhere."

Bucky shook his head. "I've never heard her talk about it."

"Me either," Clint agreed dryly, smirking at him. "They tried to accuse Darcy of being the full team's stress relief more than once but she's kept everything on the QT. She's only looking for playing, the same as Kate is, until they find someone permanent."

"I knew dames like that before, Barton. They were for fun, not for keeps. Though they were usually a lot of fun." He grinned at the girls then at him. "I'd never poach your habit."

"She's good at it, really good at it, but I'm not addicted yet. I'm not home half the time. So no poaching license needed." He took another drink of coffee. "Though those two think of each other like sisters so I doubt we'll ever find them together. It'd be really hot, but probably not going to happen."

James nodded once. "Sure. I get that. It would be hot." He stared at them. He could imagine the two girls getting together and him being invited in to help them. It was a pretty mental image. They could both take a harder, strong ride so that was a great thing.

Clint grinned at him. "If you wanna ask, I can take the dogs for a walk."

"Nah, not right now." Clint nodded. The dogs came in off the fire escape, where they had snuck down to the alley to pee and then back up via the dumpster in the back that was just in the right spot for Cutey to be able to jump with the two bigger dogs. They ran up that side's fire escape to the roof then across and down to their window again. Clint looked at them. "Feel better?" They all snuggled in with James, who sighed but petted them. Clint grinned, finishing the coffee. "They're comfy."

"Like the fussy humans who raise them," Barnes shot back. Someone knocked and let themselves in. "Stark," he said with a nod.

He stared at the girls then at him. "That isn't what I thought would happen."

"Darcy got woken up too early so they went back to sleep," Clint quipped. "The dogs like his hands more to pet."

"Huh." He took pictures of the girls with a grin. "Natasha wanted one if something cute was going on." He looked at Clint then at Bucky. "We're holding an all Avengers meeting."

"Why didn't you call?" Clint asked.

"I did try to call. Your phone's going to voicemail for the last two hours."

Clint got up to look for it, finding it had slipped between the headboard and mattress. "Yup, I forgot it." He waved it. "Two hours?"

"Please." He looked at Barnes. "You should attend too. It'll be on the various threats at present."

He nodded. "I'll try to attend."

Darcy blinked, looking at them. "Tony, it's damn early. If you haven't went to sleep yet, go to bed. If you got up this early I'll praise Pepper to the skies for being able to keep you from being grumpy but I don't have one of those so shoo. Before I get naked."

"If you wanna get naked, none of us will mind," he said dryly, staring at her. "Plenty of us would adore it if you did." She threw a pillow at him. "Hey, just sayin'," he said with a shiteating grin. "We're having an all Avengers meeting in two hours."

"Kate can go. I'm not an Avenger."

He leaned down to get closer to her face. "Then next time, you go with Jane and Pepper," he said firmly. "Really, Lewis." She blew a kiss and put her head back down. "Wilson was thinking about designing you a suit."

"He's nice that way," she said with a hand wave. "Have fun with the meeting. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Day after. Two days, Lewis." He looked at Clint, who just smirked at him. "Train that into her?"

"I can try. I'm not over training and Hill won't get anywhere." James shook his head. "I'll make sure I get there and if Kate and Bucky want to join us they can ride with me."

"It's my car anyway," Kate mumbled. "I'll drive later." Someone moved against her back. "Hey, 'Merica, that's not boobs."

"That's Darcy," Clint told her. "Not America." He looked at Stark. "Should I call them?"

"Please." He took another picture and walked off smiling but shaking his head.

Clint found Kate's phone on her and called the number for Teddy. "It's Barton. She's asleep with Darcy, Teddy. We're having an all Avengers meeting in two hours at the tower. Yeah, Stark said you guys could attend since it'd be about the threats. Thanks, kid." He hung up and set an alarm before he tucked her phone back down her top since he couldn't get it into her jeans pocket. The vibrating would wake Kate up.

James looked at him. "That's weird."

"I set an alarm. It'll wake her." He smiled and got up to get more coffee. The girls shifted to snuggle together instead. Darcy sighed in pleasure as Kate nuzzled her chest but they were both still asleep. Clint got him and Bucky food and coffee then they settled in to eat and watch some news.

The alarm went off and Darcy complained. "Hey! No vibrators there. They don't do a thing for me."

Kate swatted her and pulled the phone out to look at it, grimacing. "Who hacked you?"

"You're welcome. Stark showed up," Clint said. "Breakfast is ready and coffee needs to be refilled.

Kate glared at him but got up to get coffee. "Thanks for cooking, Bucky. I know the big lug there couldn't make scrambled eggs."

Darcy sat up, pushing her hair back. "What the fuck?"

"Avengers meeting in an hour," he told her. "We needed Kate back and you were using her as a pillow. Stark thought it was adorable, he took pictures."

She blinked at him. "I'm going to bite you the next time I give you a blow job, Clint." He choked because he was laughing. She looked at James, who was trying not to smile. "You I'll bite somewhere else so you're not expecting it." She got up to make more coffee. She could make coffee in her sleep, and had many times for Jane and herself.

"Do you remember telling Tony if he didn't leave you alone you were going to get naked?" Clint asked with a smile. "He said that was fine."

She blinked at him. "He wishes but nope." She sipped her cup of liquid god and let Kate get her own. They settled in to eat and wake up while Clint got stuff so they could go to the meeting. Thankfully Kate lived on the way so she could change clothes and get Cutey's traveling case of stuff. They got up and left, letting Darcy go for a walk with the dogs. The park was pretty clear this time of day. Lucky and Conor ran over to the car to climb in with their buddy to go to work with her. Darcy just waved and went back upstairs to sleep, and maybe masturbate a tiny bit. Last night had looked like it could've gotten hot.

***

The security guard on the door nodded as Lucky walked past them with two other dogs. "Dog'vengers," he said with a nod for them. Conor barked once. "Good morning. Up in the sitting room area." He had no idea if they had super intelligence or not but they were helpful when things happened so he wasn't taking any chances. He nodded at James. "Sitting area, sir. Miss Bishop, Mr. Rogers said that your team wasn't needed."

"Bullshit," she said as she walked past him. "Did the others on my team believe that?"

"Not yet," he admitted, nodding at Barton. "Sitting area, sir at the dining table."

"That's fine." He got them onto the elevator and up there. "We're here, start the party," he said as they walked off. The dogs sniffed people and settled down near their favorite humans. Conor guarded Bucky.

Steve looked under the table then at Kate. "You brought your dog?"

"She's very helpful," she quipped, grinning at him then at Stark. "I may sleep cutely but erase that picture."

"Fine. It wasn't like you were groping."

"Which is weird since I tend to," she said dryly. "Unauthorized pictures of me mean I go cry on Darcy's shoulder and let her help me destroy people, Stark." He erased the main one on his phone. "Thanks." She got up to get coffee and came back, sitting down with a moan. "I need a bigger car," she told one of her teammates, who nodded. "They're taller so I let Clint drive and had the backseat with the dogs."

"The security guard on the doorway called them dog'vengers," Bucky said.

"Well, they are helpful if they're here during emergencies," Natasha said, looking at Kate. "Most of us have been up for hours."

"Some of us went back to sleep when the coffee wasn't enough and ended up sleeping squished between Clint's thigh and Darcy's cuddling." She smiled. "It's a great way to nap."

"Cute too," Stark agreed.

Natasha looked at her then at her teammates. "Sex among a team can get complicated and cause strife."

"We know," America told her. "We have an agreement that even if we're married to each other we're not going to stress about that stuff. It's only stress relief and fun. That's why Kate and I club, to pick up outside dicks."

Kate nodded. "That can be fun. I wish we had better luck sometimes."

"I found a new shop. They had some pretty hip dresses that'll make us look like stars on the prowl," America told her with a smile.

"Cool! I could use something new to flirt in." She took another sip of her coffee. "Yes, between cups two and six, I tend to get flirty and raunchy," she said at the stares. "This is only cup three. I fell asleep during cup two so Clint stole it."

Natasha sighed, shaking her head. "We can get down to business, Steve?"

"We can." He put files up on virtual screens for them. "These are the three biggest threats we have right now."

Kate pulled up another one. "According to an online source, he's hired another hitman to take out Stark and Darcy because he believes he's her daddy in some manner or another."

"The man poses with his daughter sitting in his lap like a stripper," Teddy said dryly. "Doesn't shock us any that he thinks Tony's a molesting daddy."

Stark shook his head. "I'm not even a sugar daddy right now, kid."

"And Darcy could be her own sugar mama," America quipped.

"Point," Clint agreed. "Though she'd probably spoil with cuddles and cookies instead of clothes and jewels." Two new files showed up on the screens. "Was that FRIDAY, Stark?"

"Hill," he admitted. He looked them over, sending them at Steve. "How did your team get evil enemies already?" he asked dryly.

America smiled. "Just lucky I guess." She looked them over then had Kate pull up their files on those threats. The older Avengers looked them over, Clint making notes on them. "Probably won't bother you guys."

"Bullshit. Two live in the neighborhood," Bucky told her. "And the mob boys don't tend to bother them that much."

"I still like how Darcy told them to go to the gym and there were many types of strength," Clint said. He licked his lips. "They're all working out harder now."

"Next she'll dress them so they look like hot guys instead of thugs in track suits with gold chains," Kate shot back. "Then maybe take them clubbing so they can find the club whores."

Pepper looked at her. "Not the better ones?"

"Not these guys. They'd only go for the super easy." She sipped her coffee. "Like that one club where some girl was having anal sex on the dance floor." America shook her head but got Kate some more coffee. "Thanks, Mer."

"Welcome, Kate." She looked at Pepper. "It was a college age kid club we went to with Darcy trying to get her laid for stress relief. Two girls, both on one side of the floor, were lovin' it with the way they whooped and called while dancing."

"At their angles they couldn't have been very deep so it was faking it, girls," Clint said. He sipped his own coffee at Pepper's horrified look. "That was the night we were trying to get Darcy away from going evil. It's down by CUNY."

"I guess they took the name as innuendo," Teddy Altman complained. "Glad I don't club."

Pepper looked at Stark. "I offered to get her into an exclusive brothel," he admitted. "It would've helped her a lot. She said the last one of those she got forced into was run by SHIELD and she had to escape."

Clint hummed. "I looked into that. HYDRA was going to capture her then before knowing she could be bred to super soldiers. They thought she was more of a science intern than a fussing intern."

Stark leaned his elbows on the table. "I went over the possible outcomes if she wasn't given the antidote to that one drug." He stared at Clint. "The likelihood was that she'd turn violent and take out whoever was with her. Probably by stabbing them in the neck."

"Did you remember to factor in consent?" Kate asked him.

"With that factor, it would've been less likely to have killed the person curing it and more likely to have her going on some kind of vendetta hunt against whoever had drugged her." He looked at her then at Clint. "The calculations stated that she'd probably take them out during it before they got one last happy moment in."

Clint nodded. "I can see her doing that. Before she left, not so much. Now, yeah, she's had to learn how to defend herself and I can totally see her taking out whoever's touching her against her will, Stark. Then wiping the blood off her and walking off to stab someone else for putting her through it." He sipped his coffee. "If they get her again, I'll make sure she's got a knife."

"I'm working on ways of hiding more of them," Bucky said.

Kate looked at him. "How do you conceal an ass sheathe?" He glared at her. "Seriously. Wouldn't they probably strip you down? Or at least do an advanced search of some kind?" He nodded, still scowling. "So you'd probably have to have a butt plug that doubled as a knife to make it past that."

He sighed, shaking his head. "I could find another place to hide it, Bishop."

"Teach me that?"

"Later," he said. "After I paddle your ass."

"Oooh, spank me, daddy," she quipped. America handed her more coffee. "Thanks, Mer."

Clint looked at her. "I'll have to put likes spanking games on your Tindr profile when I set one up for you," he told her. "That way you don't have to go without, Kate."

"I'd never touch someone from Tindr, Clint. They're usually filthy. There's better dating apps and I've already signed up on one." She grinned at him. "That way I don't fall in with a college boyfriend who wants to be a frat brother. I'd hate to have to stab one in the eye with an arrow."

Clint patted her on the arm. "That's a good idea, Kate. Really good idea."

"You two are warped," Steve said. "Really warped." They smirked at him.

"I caught it off his bow," Kate quipped with a smirk for Rogers. "It apparently came out of his sweat and is communicable."

"A dirty mind isn't an STD," Pepper told her. "Otherwise I would've caught it from Tony."

Tony leered at her. "I can try again if you want."

"No."

"Fine, Pep." He looked at Bishop. "You guys share bows?"

"Sometimes we train together," she quipped. "I get to use his to up my strength and balance because his old one is set to a weaker pull."

Clint nodded. "It does increase her skills with various other weapons in case she had to pick one up out of the blue." He looked at her. "I want Barnes to test you on hand-to-hand and your hand weapons."

"Got it," she said, looking at James, who nodded. "Today?"

"If you want," he agreed. "We can work that dirty mind out of you today, Bishop."

"Sure, if you think you can. I'll let Darcy baby any injuries later. She's the favorite to baby them."

Clint nodded. "She does a good job."

Thor nodded. "Aye, she has to mine in the past too, when she worked with Jane."

Steve sighed, shaking his head. "Uh-huh." He looked at Kate then at Bucky. "I had to look up what a group hug was."

"It's comforting," Natasha said. "But not our style."

"There's those groups that hold hugging events," America told her. "They seem happy when they come out after a few hours of hugging."

Natasha looked at her. "I could not stand that."

"Darcy also suggested that someone set up a superhero call girl agency," Kate told her. "That way no one had to impose for stress relief." Bucky took a picture of Steve and Bruce's faces.

Thor laughed. "There are usually many who would appease a warrior's stress after a battle, Kate. We do not need to hire one."

"Not in this town," she said dryly. "They're all horrible at it or want something less complicated than a quick and dirty bit of stress relief."

"I had one tell me that if I needed more than five minutes it was too much work for her," Clint said with a nod. "They're not into warriors. They're more for the pretty people so they can say they slept with them in the press. It's status gathering in the bars," Clint told Thor.

Stark nodded. "Which is why I don't club anymore and had a vasectomy at eighteen. LA's the same way."

"Yes, I remember many of them needing cabs called the next morning," Pepper said, smirking at him.

He shrugged. "I wasn't taken then. I was looking for Miss Right and found Miss Right Now. A lot of guys find her and her sisters."

"Found plenty myself," Kate muttered, making her teammates nod.

"And groupies," Teddy agreed. "Because that was weird."

"Yes it was," America agreed. "Including the cheesy line that she wasn't usually bi but she'd go on her back to please America."

Steve spluttered. "I think I met her," he choked. Bucky was taking film of this whole conversation. "Bucky!" he complained.

He grinned. "To show Lewis later to amuse her."

"Shut it down, Popeye." Stark ordered.

"We were army, not navy, Stark," Bucky quipped back. "And I hate spinach."

"Ditto," Bruce said. "About the spinach. Though Darcy's vegetarian lasagna was good at hiding it."

Stark looked at it. "That was spinach? You said it was pesto."

"You need more vegetables in your life," Bruce told him. "It does you good. Keeps you healthy enough to annoy Pepper."

"I didn't realize it was spinach either," Pepper admitted. "But it was still good." Tony nodded he agreed with that.

"The things we miss taking down an idiot who was tied to a guy who was auctioning off kids," Teddy said.

Natasha stared at him. "There was?"

"Yup. The guy we were after yesterday was the minion of one," Kate told her, pulling up her report. She had done it on the ride back.

Natasha traced that name. "They are almost joined with that one group I was looking into. One contact in common. Interesting."

"They were holding an auction in three days," America told her. "The Canadians are watching to see if anyone shows up while some theater people are pretending."

Natasha smiled. "Good work, children."

"All of us now legal adults, Natasha," Kate told her. "I was the youngest and my birthday was a few weeks back. We're only kids if you're Rogers' age." She gave her a pointed look.

"That is the age where most children do start to complain that they're grown," Stark agreed. "You're still a kid at my age, Bishop."

She blew a kiss. "I'm old enough to find a gold digging little mimbo and marry him of my own free will now, Stark. Too bad you didn't have any sons."

"Thankfully I didn't have any kids. That I know of. No one's ever come forward and I know the vasectomy worked."

"Remember, those can grow back," Bruce said. "You might want to have it checked again, Tony."

"I will when I want to have it reversed."

"Let's get off the subject of Tony's balls," Natasha said. "Some of us already know too much about them."

"They were tastefully covered when I did Playgirl," he quipped, smirking at her.

"Yes, I saw and was not amused. The same as I wasn't at Burt Reynold's centerfold."

He burst out laughing, nodding. "He was kind of a wookie, yeah."

The young Avengers members all looked that up and they all grimaced. "Some hair is okay. That much...no," Teddy said. "Too much fur, except for that weird shorts area around his hips. Mansculpting must've been invented after the seventies."

"It was probably invented in the seventies because only they could enjoy waxing your balls. It was an infection by disco music probably," Clint said. "And all the drugs they did back then. I was a kid and watched in horrified awe."

Stark looked at him. "I was a kid. I only saw Disco on the tv."

"Thankfully I missed all but two events of it," Bucky said at the grimaces Stark got. "And those I got to end the horrible music and some really horrible drugs."

Steve looked at him. "You did?"

"Thank you," Clint said, punching him on the metal arm. "That may have saved the world from remaining there."

"I'd look hot in some of the skimpy club clothes but I couldn't stand the bellbottoms," America said. "My mother has pictures of her and my dad she carefully hides."

"My parents apparently had sense and never went there," Kate said. "Or at least I never saw the pictures."

"Let's get back to the meeting," Steve said patiently. The kids being there meant that they never had a typical meeting. And Stark just made it worse. Especially since he just farted.

"Give it a three, try harder," Clint quipped with a smirk for him.

"At least it don't stink like Conor's when she's feeding him wet food," Bucky muttered, looking down at the dog, who stared up at him. "Yes, you." Conor hopped up to lap him, making him groan. "Sit, Conor! Sit!" He got sat on and the dog cuddled him. "Fine. You're cuddly like your human." He petted him with a sigh. "You're too big to sit on me."

"At least he's not a great dane," America quipped. She noticed Pepper shifting in her seat and moved further away. She had found out during earlier meetings that Pepper's farts were very bad but silent so she blamed them on Stark. It was a girlfriend's right after all.

Steve sighed, shaking his head. "Threats, people. We have to deal with them."

"Can we turn them on each other?" Kate asked. "Darcy was wanting to use that sex gas of HYDRA's on them and lock them in a vault somewhere."

"That's mean," Bruce told her. "And probably not ethical."

"That's why we were trying to turn Lewis from evil," Stark quipped, looking at Pepper, who smiled at him. "If you go evil, we'll figure out how to set you up your own country to take over, Pep."

Bucky looked at the dog. "You stink," he said.

Clint burst out laughing. "Sometimes we all do that, Barnes. It's a biological necessity."

Kate nodded. "I've heard Darcy's when she was sick. Wow." She shifted away from the table to cross her legs and lean back. "So, threats. So many threats that're too big to do more than whittle at. How do we do more than whittle at them?"

Steve shifted away from the table too. "We can find bases and take them down. If you kids find one, let us help?"

"Of course," America said with a smile. "We're only a few people. Having a few more to help would be great."

"Thanks," Steve said. He got up to get more coffee. His senses were heightened and Stark's ass stunk today so he needed something strong to cover up the scent. He passed behind Pepper and realized it wasn't Stark but he'd never accuse Pepper of farting. She was a lady most of the time. And would take a shoe to him the rest of the time. It was apparently going to be one of those meetings for a few more hours it seemed.

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