Not Into That. by voracity

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Darcy showed up the next morning at her cousin's hearing, back in a bitch business suit and heels, with everything properly done up. She'd make Pepper cry with how business bitch she was.

"It's sad, Your Honor, but the young man was associating with convicts not even a week after he got out," the DA said blandly.

"Prove it," the other lawyer said. "He was with his cousin. She is not a former convict."

"I'd like to hear that from her since I believe she's behind her cousin," the judge said.

"Yes I am," Darcy said as she stood up. "I have never been convicted of anything, Your Honor. I've spent exactly one night in jail my entire life, and two hours in a drunk tank because I was protecting my boss and wouldn't let her be taken in alone since she had alcohol poisoning."

"Why weren't you convicted if you spent a night in?" he asked.

"They were trying to find my father when I was a runaway." The judge blinked at her. "After my mother's death, Your Honor. My father was wrapped up in his grief, I was deep in mine, and I ran for two weeks. I spent the night there because the cops rescued me after I beat someone with something I picked up because she stabbed me. I was young, innocent, and unprotected. She was going to turn me in to her pimp for a reward. I fought her off. The officer that found us fighting took me in to return me home but he was out of the city at that time."

"I see. Why would she do that?"

"Your Honor, you may not see it much on this end of the city, but unprotected kids out there are often taken in by force by pimps. Usually drugged up until they need the drugs and then sent out to earn money for it," she said firmly. "I narrowly avoided that for two weeks then she caught me and stabbed me in the side. I have the scar if you need to see it."

"No, I don't," he admitted. "No convictions?"

She handed the defense attorney a file. "My file from SHIELD, Your Honor. Where I used to work as an unpaid intern for someone associated they had a file on me. It was corrected because they never realized the name thing due to death threats."

He read it over, nodding some. "Huh. No, no convictions. No arrests. A note was made about that drunk tank incident and the police officer said it was welcomed since they didn't have the staff to watch her."

"The local hospital was five hours away and that town had two deputies on each shift," she said. "She had just had her work break down for a bit."

"I can understand how that happens." He looked through the rest of the file then at her. "Why are you listed as a kidnaping risk?"

"HYDRA apparently wants the fruit of my loins," she said dryly. "I'd like to summon a real hydra to introduce them to it. Preferably up someone's behind."

"I heard about that incident." He kept reading and nodding. "I don't see a problem with you seeing your cousin. You appear to be a fine, upstanding young woman who's doing some good in this world." He looked at the DA. "Why did you think she's a criminal?"

"She's a rich heiress who does nothing all day, Your Honor. We all know they take drugs and things."

"You can drug test me if you want," Darcy said dryly. "You might find some poppyseed dressing from yesterday and some muffins from a few days earlier but I don't use drugs. That wasn't ever my thing. Not *all* heiresses are like those you find on tv entertainment stations. My mother would've beaten the whole group of them and I'm *very* like my mother."

"Was your mother a slut?" he demanded with an evil smirk.

"No, and neither am I. That was a desperate gasp by the person I'm suing for making me defend myself against him. His little lies are catching up to him and I've already added that charge to the lawsuit." She smiled. "Don't worry, you can join them since I know you're a *personal* friend of his." The guy spluttered. "Your Honor, I believe that supposed man's problems have made this supposed man act rashly against my cousin to try to get me back for suing him." She handed over a few society pictures of those two hanging out at parties while drinking. "You can see they're good friends at least."

"It looks like that may be a reason," he admitted, handing the file to the bailiff. "For her." It was handed back to her. "I don't see a reason to send him back."

"Your Honor, can you clear up a point?" she asked. He nodded. "Can my cousin go to NA meetings? His probation officer told him that'd be associating."

The judge stared at her. "Not that I've ever heard and I believe it's a great idea for most people recovering." He looked at the DA and the probations officer. "NA has been exempt from that since it was put on. The same as going to the same grocery store or mall has if you're not doing more than nodding at someone in passing," he said firmly. He looked at the cousin again. "If it'll help you, go for it."

"Can I travel out of state to a rehab?" he asked quietly. "I have one I'd like to look at more closely but it's in New Hampshire, Your Honor."

"Is it a reputable one?"

"Sixty percent rates of not needing to go back," he said, lifting his chin up.

"Then hell yes, it'll be good for you, son." He looked at Darcy. "You'd send him?"

"If he needed me to because his trust wouldn't, of course I would. I'm all for helping my cousin do whatever he needs to do so he's the nice, sane, sweet guy he used to be, or as close as he can get to it."

"Good. I like supportive families." He banged his gavel. "Motion dismissed." Her cousin got unhandcuffed and released. "I hope you make it, kid."

"Me too, sir. I don't like to disappoint Darcy." He walked out with her.

"The New Hampshire one?" she asked. "That looked nice."

"I was thinking maybe the regular therapy might help some too," he said quietly.

She hugged him. "If that's what you need, then you need it, and I'm there for you." She stared into his eyes. "Got it?" He nodded, hugging her back. "Good. Let's get you back there."

"Sure. If I can, I'm going this weekend."

"That's fine. You can email probably or write." He nodded. "We can talk to the lady over your trust on the way there if you want. I had Brian tell her about all this."

"Sure. Thanks."

"Welcome. We can check on your dad's house too." He grinned. "Have you seen your mom?"

"She's out of the country. She's been sending frantic emails for the last few weeks."

"That's sweet." She got them to her car and let him in then got around to drive, taking him to the group that helped both of their trusts. Where they supposedly couldn't find the paperwork and Darcy had to call in the Treasury. Agents got there in about twenty minutes, they were about to raid anyway. One of the senior partners was an idiot who embezzled. Darcy and her cousin's funds were locked in a fund that couldn't get removed from without signatures. Darcy was super careful about that.

The lead Treasury agent came in, staring at her. "Miss Lewis, can we have a word?" he asked politely.

"Sure. As long as you're not HYDRA. The last time I heard an agent say that I got kidnaped."

"No, I'm not, Miss Lewis." He held out some papers. "There's a problem with your name."

"The fund's in both names," she said, pointing at that. "Because Lewis is a family name but I adopted it due to death threats. We have formal notice from the FBI about all of those with the firms I use."

He blinked a few times. "I was not aware of that."

"If you closed my trust I'm going to have to get mean," she said.

"No, I have not. We put a note on it about that."

Darcy looked at their money manager, who only handled the funds for her mother's charity foundation for her. She pulled out that information file for him. Darcy handed it over with a smile. "I went through the FBI and every financial institution I go through has that notice."

He looked through it, nodding. "That's reasonable. You could have done it formally."

"Then they could've traced that."

"Oh. Good point." He reread it, nodding again. "That would a good reason and I'll remove that note, Miss Lewis. Thank you." He handed it back to her.

"Thank you for being calm. Most of the agents I see about problems are huffy."

He nodded. "We at the Treasury don't usually have to do that. Or if we do, we bring an FBI agent since they're trained to be huffy." He smiled and left to go remove those holds on her accounts.

Darcy handed the papers back with a grin. "I hope that they cream that political slimeball that tried to get you," the financial manager said.

"Me too," he said. "I can't believe you tazed him."

"A lot of people told me I should've shot him," she said with a smile.

"That might've caused more problems," he warned.

"Just for a bit. Then it would've been solved."

"Maybe," he agreed. "His kids would've tried you."

"Yeah but they would've lost." She shrugged with a grimace. "But that's a possible other history."

"Point." He smiled at the financial manager. They wanted to check on that one facility and his father's house. She had information on the sale, that the judge ordered. "I thought that was the family's choice."

"The mayor's cousin wanted it," she said with a small shrug. "The lawyer couldn't stop it and we did get everything out of it. It's in secured storage that we made the court pay for since the estate didn't want that house sold. The judge got huffy but the appeal of the mandated sale said that he had to since he had went against the family's wishes but it was too late to stop the sale by about four months. He had to pay us back for those fees and the new storage fees plus legal fees for the appeal."

"Can we get him a new place and set up those things there?" Darcy asked. "After we search it in case she left any drugs?"

"We can, and the lawyer was there with the drug dog they paid to come in to search for more drugs."

"That's good," Darcy agreed, squeezing her cousin's hand. "How did they sell that since the house was still partially in the first ex-wife's name?"

"I have no idea," she admitted. "I know the lawyer pointed that out but the judge was in debt or something. He retired right after the decision with a back-dated letter."

"Great," he sighed. "Mom's going to be livid."

"She nearly capped the judge but I didn't hear why," Darcy admitted. "I think that's why she's been in Europe."

He sighed, shaking his head. "I love my mother."

Darcy laughed. "I love her too, but yeah, she's sometimes got a temper."

"Yup." He nodded.

"Your dad did say she reminded him of his mother."

"Very. I only knew the old bat from old movies but yeah, a lot alike." Darcy grinned and nodded. "Wow. Okay, so I need to find a place to live when I get back."

"It's cheaper if you move outside the city," the financial person said. "Plus you'd get more room."

"Yeah, I might be doing that once I'm off probation. They said I had to stay in the city."

"You're going to be in rehab for a few months," Darcy reminded him. "So you have time to look."

"Point."

"And see if they will let you live outside a halfway home," Darcy added.

"I hope so. I only have six more months of probation." She smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Don't worry, I'll always point out problems." He snorted but looked pleased. "So he can afford to go?"

"With his yearly limits, he can afford to go for at least ten months this year," she said. "And we're in May so you've got some wiggle room there." He smiled and nodded. "We can arrange that."

"Please."

"Okay, let me talk to them and we'll arrange a direct draw for their fees. We'll get the statements you'll need faxed to the probation office here. I'm sure they've had to deal with it before." He nodded, smiling some. "And we'll get you set up in their care for now."

"Thank you." He leaned over to shake her hand.

"It's not a problem. What she did to you was wrong." She smiled slightly. "And I've known Darcy now for five years." He laughed but nodded. They got things set up and they had a bed coming open in about a week. Darcy took him back to the courthouse so he could present that to that judge for his approval. Darcy had their site pulled up on her phone for him. The judge looked it over and signed off on it. They went to probation so he could hand that to the supervisor.

The supervisor looked it over then him. "Why tell me? You have an officer."

"Who just got disappointed because he was trying to put me back because he's in league with the person my cousin's suing."

"Oh. I heard that." He looked the information over. "It's a pricy place."

"I have a trust. It'll pay for it. We made sure first."

"Okay," he said, signing off on it. "How soon?"

"A week," he said. "They'll have a bed open in a week."

"Okay."

"When I get back, am I allowed to live on my own?"

"You have a better chance of staying clean if you're in a sober living environment."

"I can figure that out then. I'll be out of probation probably."

He looked up his file, nodding. "I do see that. You technically could but it might be safer." He looked up. "Let them figure that out."

"If I need it that much I might move up by them. Do outpatient."

He nodded. "That's not unreasonable. They can help you set that up when you're ready to graduate their program."

"Thank you." He shook his hand. "I'll be on my cousin's couch for a few days?"

"That's reasonable. I doubt she'll let you get into trouble." He grinned. "Good luck. I'll have your new officer check in up there."

"Thank you, sir." He left, gathering Darcy from the waiting area. She was telling someone she's not a lawyer. "She's here to drive me around." She smiled at him. "We're set and can I have your couch?"

"Of course." She smiled at the other guy. "I hope it works out for you," she said quietly. "No one deserves that sort of treatment." She walked out with her cousin. Who was staring at her. "Okay, mass murderers but I doubt they'd be on probation."

"Good point. Let's go play with your dog." She nodded, taking him home so he could shower and change clothes. She could shower and change into something more comfortable, and she could call Kate to bring her dog back. Two of those three happened but Kate was on her couch already with both dogs sulking. He glanced at Darcy, who smiled and nodded it was fine.

Kate looked up. "My dad's filing bankruptcy."

Darcy settled in to hug her. "It'll be okay. They can't touch your trust." She sighed but leaned against Darcy's arm. "Did he like the dog?"

"He met him and said this is really not a great time for that since we're selling the house," she said bitterly.

"You'll figure it out, Katie. It'll be okay and you've got a great lineage to live up to."

"I know. You should go get out of the bitch gear. You look mean." Darcy smiled, going to do that. She looked at the dogs. "She's really good and should be a mom someday." They both snuffled her and let her pet them. She looked at the guy coming out. "Sorry, but I needed a girlfriend."

"It's okay. She's my cousin and I know how caring she is." He smiled and held out a hand. "Craig DeCriths."

"Kate Bishop." She shook it. "You can sit, I'm just sniffly."

He sat down. "Will you be okay? I have no idea how to handle girlish troubles."

"I'm fine. It's a dad thing."

"I can understand that. Mine kept remarrying."

"Mine didn't but he owns a newspaper."

"Ah. He didn't transition fast enough?"

"Not really."

"Well, maybe he'll sell it, restructure, and it'll be okay."

"I hope so." She settled in to cuddle the dogs until Darcy came back out. "Are you doing anything today?" she asked when Darcy walked out to make coffee.

"Only if I have to shoot back at stupid reporters."

"You probably should. That rumor hit the London papers. My dad was groaning over it when I spotted it and groaned earlier."

Darcy waved her phone. "I'm about to blow up twitter." She made coffee and brought out cups for her and Kate. "I don't know if you drink coffee," she said at his amused look. "And you're family so serve yourself. She's a guest, she gets served."

He smiled but went to get his own coffee. "At least you don't treat me like anything more than what I am."

"That'd be stupid of me. Neither of us was raised to be the weak heir sort, Craig. Our parents would've killed us."

"Did your dad take your mom's name?" Kate asked her.

"For work purposes. It gave him a better 'in' with people thanks to her family name." She sipped her coffee and put the mug down. "Danish in the fridge but it's two days old." Her cousin got some and came out to sit and watch her ruin some people's days. Darcy got onto her twitter and saw all the requests for comments. She commented, and commented meanly. Including linking the full statement on her facebook page. Then she put her phone aside and drank some coffee with a grin. "Those two are going to be *so* sorry."

Her phone beeped the 'new message' sound so she looked at it, answering that one. "Oh, now they have me pregnant by Stark." She tagged Pepper into that response too. Then added one. "I have never slept with Tony Stark, don't want to sleep with Tony Stark, and he's like an odd cousin I grew up with," she muttered as she typed, being sure to link Tony in. "Also I don't poach, especially not from Pepper Potts." She made sure she tagged her too.

"Just at my character limit," she said happily and sent it. Tony quipped back, probably via his AI FRIDAY, that he felt the same way, she was his weird little cousin. Pepper's answer was 'I knew you weren't and if they think you are, there's a lack of education in there. Please fix it'. Darcy laughed and sent her a private email that she was good but they'd have to start with elementary schools. She put her phone back down.

Kate looked at her own. "Now they're speculating which avenger you slept with."

"Who said I slept with an avenger?" Darcy asked dryly, sipping her coffee. "I said I slept with someone who lived in the tower."

Kate laughed and put that up, tagging in the idiots. "Good point. Have you?"

Darcy smiled. "Only under extreme circumstances of me being drugged."

"Oooooh." She stared at her oddly. "Clint?" she mouthed. Darcy smiled and nodded. "Was he good?"

"Yeah. It was excellent."

Kate shivered. "Good to know." She put up a statement about how wrong it was to want to judge Darcy on who she slept with instead of what she does. Then she put her own phone up. Her father called so she pulled it back out. "Yeah, Dad? I'm on Darcy's couch actually, Dad. Sniffling about our talk. No, she cannot have my dog, Dad."

Darcy looked at her. "I know you'll probably have to move."

"Yeah, he's saying that too. Dad, I have a trust, they can't touch it, I can get my own apartment. It'll be thin but I can do it. I know that's for college, Dad. I can make up college fees later if I have to. I can go extra hours or whatever."

"Going extra hours past a certain point can cost more. It's more cost effective to go during the summers and means you keep everything like dorm rooms," Darcy told her.

"Darcy said it's practical for me to do up to a point and then it's cheaper to go summer school for a few extra so I won't have a housing gap." She listened. "She'd know, Dad. She's got three degrees." She listened. "No, my college fund wasn't with them. I asked the family lawyer to please move it somewhere I could learn to manage it. Yes, it went there. No, it wasn't, it was moved after Darcy shut down her uncle." Darcy winced. "Not your fault and I would've done it anyway." She shifted and listened.

"Yes, that's who has it, Dad. They're decent people. We talked about how it was my college fund and I'd need good returns in about five years when I had it moved to them. Actually the Treasury agents shutting down that firm during the trial helped me move it. Yes, it's with them. So I know I'm poor but not broke, Dad." She nodded. "I can accept that. No, it's not in the family's hands at all. The lawyer signs off on my yearly interest statements after I do." She rolled her eyes.

"It was suggested I get a guardian ad litem to protect myself during that stuff, Dad. That way my trust wasn't touched or anything like that. I know they'd want fees, Dad. Yes, that reason. I have no idea, Dad. Right now...I don't blame you, Dad. Trends changed and newspapers went down. You tried to transition but you were a smaller paper. These things happen in business. That's why it's a risk. It was going to be changing when I had to take over because of your future heart attack from the stress anyway since I don't really know a thing about the newspaper business, Dad." She sighed. "Exactly. And hey, less stress so you don't die from it."

"Does he know about your hobbies?" Darcy asked quietly. Kate shook her head frantically. "It'll come out. And ask Matt if he knows of someone good but cheap."

"Not a bad idea. No, Dad, Darcy had an idea of who I could ask about a good, inexpensive lawyer to help me guard my trusts. Grandmother's, Dad. And we gotta talk because otherwise you'll have that heart attack in the court room. No, Dad, I'm not being a slutty ho," she said dryly. "Dad, I haven't had more than a girlfriend," she said dryly. "Though I am bi and that's not what I was going to talk to you about. No, Darcy reminded me of something that'll definitely be dug up. Yup, I'll be back soon." She hung up. "Damn it, he's going to die from that."

Darcy nodded. "Better at home than in the courtroom when someone brings it up."

"True." She looked at herself then sighed and went to get her kit from the backseat of the car so she could spiffy up in Darcy's bathroom. She even went for the full makeup look to give her smokey eyes and a pretty lipstick. Darcy handed her a pretty scarf. "Why?" she asked.

"Windy. It'll mess up your hair."

"Point." She put it over her hair before going out with her dog. They went home. Kate took off the scarf as she grabbed her bow, carrying it inside. Her puppy followed like the loyal sidekick she was. "Dad?" she called. She heard something in the office and went in there, shooting the three people in there with him. "I don't think you need to be around my father," she told the one she knew was a thug. "Really."

"Hawkeye," he sneered.

She smirked. "Yes, I damn well am." She kicked him in the temple to knock him out. "Hi, Dad." She smiled.

He stared, drink halfway to his mouth. He cleared his throat. "You were hiding that, Pumpkin?"

"Yeah, Dad." She nodded, sitting in a chair. Her dog was trying to pull an arrow out. "Leave it alone, Cutey. I'll get it in a few minutes." The dog barked at that person and ran over to hop into her human's lap. Kate smiled, petting the dog. "You're such a good dog, Cutey." She petted her, smiling at her dad.

He finished that drink. "Well." He stared at her. "That's...." He cleared his throat. "I know you're not the one on that team."

"No, I'm the one that took his place when he was out of commission healing," she said. "And I'm on the other team."

He blinked at her. "Oh. Okay." He stared at her. He looked at the people that had been threatening him then at her. "That's going to get messy."

She leaned over to grab the phone, holding the dog in place until she leaned back. She called in. "Hi, Officer Trax. This is Kate Bishop and I just had to harm a few people threatening my father in his office. Yes, we're at home. Please do. Three and one I know is a thug that works with that crime boss that's hugely fat and wears all that white. Fisk, yeah, whatever his name is. Him. Thanks. No, he tried to threaten me once so I planted a tazer button in his dick that time. This time, I used my bow. Thanks." She hung up and put the phone on the free chair with a grin. "You remember Trax, right, Dad?"

"I do and I heard he had become an officer. His parents were worried but proud he made his own way that way." He poured himself another drink and stared at her. "How long?"

"Few years." She stared at him. "I do the name proud, Dad. Even he says so. He's working on my few last rough spots now and then. Our team trains with his sometimes too."

"That's good." He took a large drink. He realized he was in shock but what else were you to do when your daughter came out as a hero in training? "You're right, I should not have heard about this in a court of law where there was nothing for me to do but have the heart attack." Kate held up her dog with a grin. He petted her. "You're a good friend for her, Cutey. That one you puppysit? The blond one?"

"Lucky is Clint's. I puppy sit sometimes when he's out on missions for more than a day. Or Darcy Lewis does, she lives in the next building. She used to be the assistant for Thor's girlfriend."

"That's interesting. She doesn't...." He waved a hand at her. Kate smiled and shook her head. "Good. You have a strong female role model who doesn't wear spandex."

"Partially and it's partially kevlar. It cost less than my coming out dress too." She looked at the black outfit then at him. "My old one was purple but a bit baggy on me."

He nodded. "Don't share, Pumpkin. Not yet." She grinned and stayed there petting her dog. He went to let the officers in. "We're all in the office."

Officer Trax walked in first. "Kate?" he demanded, staring at her. "Oh, I heard, but that's better than the purple outfit."

"It is," she said with a smile. "Now that I've finally quit growing I could go with something nicer and that fit me better. And I don't trip as much when I run in it."

The other officers stared. "Um...Hawkeye," one said. "Girl Hawkeye."

She smiled at him. "You don't have to designate, we know which one you're talking about. He's still got skills I won't have for years. He's been doing this almost as long as I've been alive."

"Sure," the officer agreed. "So you rushed in to help Mr. Bishop?"

"He's my dad," she said with a smile. "He didn't know this and I came to tell him about all this magnificence in action," she said with a wave at herself, "and found them threatening my father."

"They were trying to force me to sell my newspaper business to them at a loss," he said. "They heard I filed for restructuring."

The officers nodded. "So she walked in, found them, and then handled it for you?" he asked. Kate's father nodded, finishing that drink. "At least your daughter's good. She's helped a lot. She doesn't cause any damage like some of them do, and she handles bigger problems than the small-time people do but less than the Avengers team does."

"Oh, yeah, Dad, that's why I flunked that english test that made you scowl. I was in Canada," she quipped. "Helping handle a rogue Asgardian who wasn't Loki." He held up his hand with a grunt as he drank that comment away. "Sorry." She looked at the officers. "That one arrow's going to be wet," she said with a point. "My baby Cutey here is learning how to fetch arrows for me."

They stared at the dog then nodded. "We've seen Lucky," Officer Trax admitted with a grin.

"I puppysit and Lucky helps me train Cutey, and Darcy Lewis train her new dog Conor."

They all nodded and called in the proper people to handle the not-dead bodies while they took statements. At one point her father went to lock himself in the kitchen to rant at God and his dead wife, but otherwise it went okay and Kate calmed down from her nerves. Coming out was hard on a person.

***

Clint showed up at Kate's house that night, not in uniform. Her father answered the door. "At least you're not wearing your uniform like her," he said, staring at him.

Clint winced. "You found out?"

"She told me so I wouldn't hear it in the courtroom, Mr. Barton. Let's go talk about what my daughter needs to do to train for real." He led him to his office. The dog was in the hallway staring at them. It barked at Clint, who stared back. "That dog is so weird."

"She's a lot like Natasha," Clint admitted, handing over a dog biscuit he had in his pocket. It was stale but she got out of the way and followed them. "We laughed about how much she was like Natasha actually." He sat down. "Kate's a good girl. I tried to talk her out of it. Rogers tried to talk her out of it."

"I heard. We talked about it after I got those thugs off my carpet. She nicely walked in and found them so shot them."

"Probably not how she wanted you to find out, no."

"No, probably not. By the way, she's grounded for the next two weeks for being in spandex for three years without me finding out. It would've been longer but I'm realistic enough to know she'd break it."

Clint grinned. "That's a very dad thing to do."

"She does train?"

"We train weekly when I'm around and she takes her own private archery practice as well. Plus her other fight training." He nodded. "She's good. She's at the top of the bottom tier and probably olympic quality. She's learning things that are elevating her into the upper tier. She can handle most things unless they go really bad."

"Has she had to kill?"

"Not that I'm aware of and I probably would've found her drunk on my couch with my dog."

"Good point." He relaxed. "I don't want her to do that."

"Neither did I but she felt someone had to."

"Or as that one guy with the webs said, great power comes with great responsibility?" he asked.

"Yeah, that sums it up too. She's got the skills and she knows someone has to. She also keeps telling me I'm getting old. I told her to go taunt Logan about that." Kate's father cracked a smile. "She's well liked and well respected but most of the adults won't listen to her team at all due to their age. Some of the younger X-Men get the same thing."

"Do they associate?"

"I think they've met up at the same clubs a few times. You'd have to ask her if she hangs with them."

"Fine." He stared at Clint. "What can I do to make sure she stays safe?"

"Make her quit," he said. "Because there's always going to be an injury waiting. Being honest, I take a lot of punishment some missions. Some not at all. She'll never fully be me. She doesn't want to take assassination missions and isn't sure she'd like to end up a SHIELD agent to be honest. It's possible she'll find someone to back her up beyond her team at times. It's possible she'll still be doing this once she graduates college and goes to a full time job. A number of the smaller handling people do."

He nodded. "That would be a good thing but tiring."

"Yeah but if we don't do it, no one else will." He shrugged. "Think what New York would be like without us handling some of the problems. We're here because they're here, not the other way around, Mr. Bishop."

"I get that." He sighed. "What will we need to make sure she's got set up when we have to move? I'm presently restructuring everything and we're moving sometime soon."

"I practice basic archery in my apartment with a target against my brick wall," he admitted. "You should probably put in a safe room area that'll hold up in case of an attack if you get another house. If not, an apartment farther from downtown might be a good idea. I know she likes her school and they have an archery team." He grinned. "The teacher there doesn't know about her but that's because she's said he goes on a few anti-hero rants now and then and complains a lot about me being an archer on a team with Iron Man. Thinks it's dumb."

"I think the iron suit might make her less vulnerable," Kate's dad admitted.

"Tony gets banged up too," he assured him. "And it's hard to get him out of the suit if he's injured or knocked out." He grinned a bit. "Katie Kate hates engineering too, so no go there."

"I get that. I want her to get into safer things. She used to really like horses."

"We'd all like that. Every one of us in the field hates that someone else joins and most of them have the reason that it affected them or it's the right thing to do. Kate's not alone in that and she does have a decent team with her most of the time. She's helped a lot. When Darcy got kidnaped, she warned the doc and his wife, plus liaisoned with a lot of the local talent to see if they could help us track her."

"That's good," he agreed quietly. "Is there some sort of supervisory position? A guild or something?"

"No. We're all independent and that would probably be suggested by someone like Xavier, who'd never let her help his teams because she's not a mutant."

"I thought he would've been more inclusive."

"No. Not really. He's not 'humans yay' as Darcy put it. He's more 'humans aren't beasts to be struck down and are okay in the natural order of things' than everyone working together unless it's something huge. And if it's something that huge, we're all screwed so leave the city as fast as you can however you can."

"I can do that," he agreed, blinking a few times. "I didn't realize there were inter-team relationships beyond nodding at each other."

"We don't hold friendship meetings but now and then we do talk to share information about big problems. Mostly we have one or two people that won't set them off so we send them. Logan comes to us usually, or Hank McCoy if they have to talk to us or the F-4."

"Is Reed Richards really as arrogant as he appears?"

"Yeah, he's got genius syndrome pretty bad. Stark has recurring moments of infection but Reed's never come out of it and his wife's pretty nice. We talk to Sue most of the time when we have to talk to them. Thor goes to talk to Ben because he's the only one that can arm wrestle Thor and win." He shrugged slightly. He looked down at the sneaking dog, patting his lap. "You know how to jump. Conor taught you." She hopped up and stared at Darcy's father. Clint shook his head. "She has Natasha's stare too." He grinned. "Kate brought her up to a training weekend when I brought Lucky. Natasha was amused by Cutey but still gave her such weird looks for being a dog. Lucky knocked down a few people to lap them silly and then decided to nap on Bruce because he felt comfortable."

"You guys are weird," he said.

"I know." Clint grinned. "It happens. Normal people don't do things like this."

"True. Should I just find her a training center to work on her fighting skills and give her archery practice?"

"She could use some of both. She's not bad with smaller hand weapons like a baton and small staves. She gets plenty of running practice right now when she steals Lucky or Conor." He got an odd look. "Darcy doesn't run and I have a gym."

"Ah. So she takes the dogs to the park?"

"Lucky helps her pick out people to flirt with."

He snickered quietly. "My girl is very unique." He stared at him. "Can I stop her?"

"Probably not. She waved off Rogers' glare of 'don't piss me off' that most of us walk away from. She nearly laughed at him when he said she'd get hurt then gave him facts about civilian casualties."

"I can understand why. Her mother was much the same sort of stubborn."

"I almost asked her if she was related to Lewis when we first met. I also made her prove her skills by stealing my bow back. Rogers had given it to her after something and I stole it from her. I made her prove she wanted it by stealing it back."

He nodded. "That's reasonable. Thank you for trying."

"We all hate that people get affected and join up. A lot of them give up after their first injury or their first loss."

"Not my baby girl. The only thing she's ever given up on was ice skating." He stared at Clint. "Can you take her dog home?"

"I don't really want a roommate so probably not."

"I'd hate that too," he admitted. "If she has to end up living by herself can you help her find somewhere safe?"

"Of course. There's a few near me." He grinned. "The only threats there are the Russian Mob."

"I've heard. Don't tell me any more about that please."

Kate came in with tea and coffee cups, handing her father's over with a kiss to his temple. "They're kinda stupid, Dad. They called me bro." She handed Clint his coffee and took her dog. "C'mon, we've got to go study for the history test next week." Her dog whined. "I know, I don't like it either but I have to graduate. So if I have to suffer through history, you have to suffer through me reading it to you." She walked off.

Clint sipped his coffee, but was smiling as he shook his head. "She's one hell of a girl."

"Yes she is." He stared at Clint. "If something happens to me please make sure she keeps being one hell of a girl?"

"Of course. She's like a kid sister."

"Thank you for alleviating the fear that you two will date."

"Probably not. She's too young for me. Drunken tapping after emergencies to blow off stress usually happen inter-team so not likely then either."

He smiled. "Thank you. Are her teammates nice?"

"Yes. You'd have to ask her if you've met any though."

"I can do that later. Do you know of somewhere I should sign her up for?"

Clint wrote down a name of a training center and slid it across the desk. "A few wannabe heros workout there and they do have an archery range. They had me test it out. Including some training for things like having to shoot around objects in the way. I think it'll do her good and it'll let them see how real heros do it to break some expectations. They also won't accept excuses for missing practices."

"That's probably a good thing for her then." He put it in the center of his desk protector pad. "Thank you."

"It's not a problem, Mr. Bishop. We'd all like Katie to be safer. She's a good girl and she needs to be safer. Or Darcy needs to teach her how to bake so she can do that stuff too." He grinned but left. He ran into one of Kate's teammates outside, staring at her before walking over. "Mer," he said with a nod.

"Barton," she said, blinking at him. "What's going on? Kate mumbled something about being grounded but she can't sneak out this time."

"She came out to her father earlier because he's going to court to fix some things. She didn't want him to hear in the courtroom."

"Oh." She nodded with a wince. "Yeah, that could be bad."

"She and Cutey are in her room doing history homework and practicing eavesdropping if I know her."

She shook her head with a sigh. "Is Cutey a girlfriend?"

"You haven't met her dog?" he asked dryly.

"Oh, that's what she named it." She shook her head slightly. "At least it likes to fetch used ammo shells."

"And arrows. Lucky taught her." She snorted but grinned. "He wanted to know about her training and stuff. I gave him the name of that gym where the wannabes hang out because she could use the gym and they could see the reality."

"That's not a bad idea," she admitted. "We could all use one." He nodded. "Go do archer things. I'll sneak in to see her."

"You could knock on the door. Her dad wanted to know about you guys."

"Maybe. It's subtle at least." She walked over there. Clint got into his car and drove off. She knocked on the door. Kate's father answered the door, blinking at her. "Hi, Mr. Bishop."

"Kate's grounded, America."

"I'm here to give her our armory key because I'm going to be out of town for a few days."

He blinked. "You are?"

She smiled and nodded. "I are." He sighed. "Surprise?"

"Actually, just a tiny bit." He looked at her. "Have I met the rest of your team?"

"I think two others, both guys."

"That figures. She's upstairs. No hanky-panky please. She told me she was bi earlier too and I haven't even asked about a girlfriend yet."

"She's not dating. We go out to try to troll together but we both suck at it." He walked off shaking his head. She jogged up the stairs, listening for her teammate. Kate opened the door to look out at her. "Armory key? I'm out of town for a few days." Kate took the key and grinned at her. "Nice. He didn't have a cow as you predicted."

"I walked in and found thugs threatening him so I shot them with my bow. He didn't have the time to freak."

"That's good." She winked. "See you in a few weeks, kiddo."

"You be safe and call if it's an emergency. I'll break this one for that."

"Got it." She left, going to tell the others that Kate was out to her dad. That might make things a bit easier. Certainly a lot less sneaking around and making up rumors to get them some time together to train.

Kate gathered the leash to take her dog outside in the back yard for a few minutes. She needed a break from history and a pee break was a good idea anyway.

She'd pretend to not see her father watching her from a window.

***

Darcy showed up and smiled at the kids. There were a few less in the room. "I should've come instead of going to a friend's wedding this weekend," she quipped as she put her bag down. "I would've had more fun and not had to break up the fight between the mothers. Would've been *so* much better." The kids in there grinned. "I didn't realize I was late, guys."

"You're not," one told her. "We were gossiping."

One of the girls looked at her. "There was a story saying someone was sending people funny money in your name."

"They did it to a waitress I know. Misspelled my name and I helped her turn it in. I'm guessing it's from the same slimeball."

"Yup. One of his assistants got arrested for it last night," that girl said. Darcy grinned at her. "You're seriously catty, Darcy."

"Only when I have to be. If people like that didn't push me to be, I wouldn't be."

"There's a huge picture of you with a bow and wearing a pretty dress wondering if you're the female Hawkeye," one of the guys said, holding it up.

She burst out laughing. "I have no idea about how to use a bow. That's one I fell into and found. It's Asgardian. It was talking to me. I brought it back for Kate and Clint."

"Knew it," one of the girls quipped, slapping the table. "It is her!"

"Yup, and she just told her dad so she's grounded for now," Darcy said dryly, smiling at her. "She's kinda pouty too."

"That figures," one of the guys said with a nod. "Girls her age pout."

"She's your age," Darcy said dryly.

"That's how I know! The girls around my age pout!" He smirked at her. "And some your age."

"Yeah, we totally never give up the pouty puppy eyes look if we're good. It gets us treats from boyfriends." The girls all laughed but nodded. "Okay, what're we on today, guys?" Scott walked in. "Hi, Scott." She hugged him.

"We weren't sure why you had the bow so I decided I'd come help tonight," he quipped back.

"I was getting away from the arguing about how much wine the mothers were drinking and fell into a hole that had some neat stuff from Asgard."

He winced. "Does Thor know?"

"I told Sif. She's going up to look at it. She told me to take the bow since it's a weapon and possibly a bit sentient."

"Is it?"

"Yes, it asked me if I was an archer."

"Wow. Is M'jolnir sentient?"

"Enough to pick a wielder."

"Huh." He nodded at that. "Okay." They settled in to work with everyone, the others coming in late.

Darcy smiled at one, who was frowning at her. "I should've come to help you guys instead of watching my childhood friend get married. It was *such* a huge argument from the end of the ceremony on."

He stared at her. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. The mothers got into a cat fight - hair pulling, dress ripping cat fight. The bride and groom nearly came to blows over which mom was the most drunk. The bridesmaids were having an argument about who told the bride to get them the dress no one looked good in and *why* were they wearing flats. Two of them had to keep defending they weren't pregnant, the PCOS meds they were on were making them gain weight. Repeatedly. I ended up walking out of the reception and falling into a hole and I thought that was the highlight of the weekend. That and Conor stole my cake because it was flavorless. He sniffed it after the first few bites and walked off in a huff because it wasn't good cake."

"You've so spoiled that dog," Scott complained, shaking his head. She grinned at him. "Was Maine pretty?"

"Pretty rainy. It's the rainy season up there for this whole month apparently."

"Why did they schedule it then?" one of the girls asked. "Even if she was knocked up they could've done it in a month. You can find dresses that won't let you show."

"He's from up there and she gave into mother-in-law pressure to try to get along with her," Darcy said. "Her mother-in-law was already drunk at the ceremony and when asked if she gave her son to her, she said 'I guess she'll do, someday, but we'll put up with her for now'." The kids all laughed. "Seriously, I got back at ten this morning, guys. That's why I didn't come bearing cookies." They smiled at that admission. "The drive up was pretty. The area was pretty but muddy. The drive back was okay, except near Boston. The wedding...I'm hoping they move countries so they never see the families again. It might keep them from a divorce. Either that or she's gonna kill him.

"We had *four* ambulances called at the hotel we were all staying it. Only two were for alcohol poisoning. One was domestic but no one said who." One of the girls shuddered. "Yeah. It was a *fun* weekend. There was not enough alcohol during the reception. They ran out of champagne, wine, and whiskey within an hour of the reception starting. The food was good. It was really great. I liked the hotel, their people were wonderfully nice. It was just the wedding." She grinned. "I so hope my friend's going to move."

"What if he abuses her?" one of the girls asked.

"She's a social worker. She knows she can get away and she knows she only has to call and I'll help her move. He's a new doctor. Just out of his residency. He's not *bad*. He's pretty stressed and he's a bit tired most of the time, but if one of them beats the other I'll help the one that's getting abused." A few of the guys looked at her oddly. "Women can be the abusers, guys. Really. We can do all sorts of bad things. The same as some molesters are women. It's not just guys who do the bad things."

One of the boys nodded. "My momma has a huge right hook. Dad shouldn't have been cheating on her but he learned."

"Which is abusive," Darcy reminded him.

"I know. We had a talk at school about that and I turned her ass in. The cops got all huffy at her for it, and me for telling on her, but Dad pointed out that I had done the right thing and I wasn't in trouble for that. Mom went to a group thing for six months and she never did it again."

"That's good she didn't," Darcy said, patting him on the hand with a grin. "Sometimes it takes a kid to point out the right thing. We learned from our parents but sometimes adults have filters on what we see and how we see."

"True. I was eight. It kept me from getting my ass kicked but my aunt *still* yells at me about it."

"Point out that you'd have done the same thing if her husband hit her," another girl said. "It stopped when my mom was nagging her sister about leaving a husband that had a decent enough job." She looked at him. "It was the right thing to do and one of those founding documents said life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We got a right to that too."

He grinned. "I'll have to use that line next time." She grinned back.

"You guys know if you need to hide because of something serious like that, I have a couch," Darcy said.

"Yeah, but Bed-Stuy's kinda far away," one quipped. "Even by train."

"It can be," Darcy agreed. "Train's faster than a car." They all nodded at that. "I'll bring in the puppy next time. I left him on the couch with Lucky so Clint'll come looking at the bow."

Scott sent a text message. "He's upstate until the morning."

"That's fine." She grinned. "Lucky's guarding it by sleeping on it. It was complaining about smothering dog fur."

Scott added that in a second text message then put his phone up. "Did you bring this sort of life to the tower?"

"Hell no. I was in the lab all the time with Jane. Jane comes out of science more now than she did then."

"Damn." They got back to work with the kids, who were laughing about that.

Darcy held up a hand. "Jane was giving a talk in France to a bunch of scientists while we were in London," Darcy told them. "She got hit with an idea just before she went on. She was hastily scribbling math while waiting and when they pushed her onto the stage. Most of the people there realized that state so they were tolerant for a few minutes. Jane put it onto her overhead project by accident and turned, then spotted it. She frowned at it and mumbled about how she got the math wrong.

"I had to sneak over to turn off the projector, nudged someone to call up to her they were taking it down for her, and that they're fixing the blown bulb so I could put up her actual slides that she forgot to bring up with her." They all groaned. "For some, their work is their addictions. Jane didn't come out of the lab for three, four days at a time sometimes if I didn't stop her. Doing math that leads to wormholes while sleep deprived and starving because she forgot to eat, again, led to some really interesting problems happening in the lab. But then again, Stark blows things up." A few laughed, a few shook their heads, the rest groaned. "Yeah, it was like that. Now she's a mom and the future queen of Asgard."

"She has a nanny, right?" one of the boys asked. Scott nodded quickly. "Good. I'd hate to see what Asgard thought of CPS."

"Yup," Darcy agreed dryly. "That would've caused a huge diplomatic stink."

"If I get wrapped up like that, even in a man, someone stop me please," one of the girls said, looking up. "My mama would not be impressed at all. Even if I won a nobel."

"That's how you know you're meant to go into science. You like it more than most everything else," Scott said.

"Because it's a mini warground out there," Darcy agreed. "You fight others for grants, for research space, for publishing. To make sure people don't steal your work."

"I'd hate that," she said.

Darcy nodded. "Me too, that's why I went into social sciences. I knew I wasn't going for a PhD but I liked it well enough to at least teach it sometimes and I figured I'd need to use it someday."

"So you knew you were going to be doing charity work?" one of the guys asked her.

"I knew I was going to be donating time to ones," she agreed. "I thought I'd have a normal career maybe working for a larger national one and then donate time to programs like this one."

"Do you get paid to do this for us?" one of the girls asked.

Darcy shook her head. "Nope. The group that used to run these got shut down due to lack of funding. I just restarted it." They all stared. She grinned. "When you've got things to not worry about, it works. I can do the same paperwork to make sure you guys don't have to pay to take the tests and tutor."

"Point," they all agreed. They had all talked about how Darcy was a strange lady before, and now they were sure of it.

"I heard the last group got threats from some gangs," one of the girls said quietly.

Darcy nodded. "I heard that. I haven't gotten any yet and I'm not really scared of them. I mean, I've had to fight off assassins. Are they worse? There's *more* of them but they're not as scary as HYDRA. The one that threatened me in Chicago I told them to learn to like gay sex in prison if they came near me and suggested a few nice zucchini." She shrugged but grinned a tiny bit. "I'm not scared and I'm not going to bow and scrape or give in. What're they going to do, kill me? I've had better that wanted to kill me. I mean, hello, HYDRA." She shrugged again. "Groups like that, you show you're scared and they feed on it. You don't show you're scared and they get mad but then you prove it and they at least think you're too hard to deal with right then."

"That makes sense. Like with guys. The easy girls get all the harassment and the harder girls get ignored." Darcy nodded. "Do you do that with guys?"

"Hell no." She smiled. "I'd like someone there more often. Just hasn't happened recently. I can't even club thanks to HYDRA and I used to really like to club. At least then I could find a few Mr. Right Nows whenever I needed one."

"Guys like that aren't worthy of women," Scott said.

"Sometimes you need something easy, Scott. If you're single, sometimes it's the best thing in the world. Though I have rented a cuddle now and then. And only cuddles. I'd never touch something I paid for. How gross they can be." She grimaced. "Way too much chance of diseases. But cuddles they can do and it's a nice change in their lives."

"You actually rented a guy to cuddle you?" one of them asked.

Darcy nodded. "Nightmares after the invasion in London."

"Girl pros get people like that. They just want someone to talk to them and hold them sometimes," one of the girls said. "I go to school with a few of them. They got it hard but they said those are the nice clients. They don't try anything against them and just want someone there."

"Lonely guys go to strip clubs too," Darcy agreed. "Some guys go for bragging rights. Most go because they're lonely."

"I didn't even think about that. Usually guys go in packs," one of the girls admitted.

"That way they can prove they're normal guys who only stare and sometimes tip instead of one of the guys that drools," one of the guys told her. "You have to prove you're the right sort of guy in most guy groups."

Darcy shrugged. "To each their own and that's something I can't judge. Everyone goes for things like that for their own reasons. Mine was nightmares about losing to dark elves."

"Those freaky guys were elves?" one of the boys demanded.

"Yeah, Dark elves. They came from another of the nine realms. Apparently they were majorly against Thor's people." She shrugged. "It was seriously bad. Thor lost his mom in that battle. He and Loki worked together to avenge her. Then they showed up in London at a college where we were putting up things to divert the portals. It was kinda freaky while they were up. You could throw a car like a baseball."

They all blinked at her. "That's major science brains," one of the girls said.

Scott grinned. "She had Jane there."

"And Eric," Darcy quipped. "Thankfully he had on pants that day."

"That figures," she decided. "Science is okay for that sort but science kinda sucks."

"Science is cooking and baking," Darcy said with a grin. "It's just a physical science." The girl whined. "Seriously." She pulled up a video for her to see. "A major science geek who does cooking stuff. He even explains it." She let the kids watch the video, smiling at Scott. Who was shaking his head. "I suggested it to your kiddo too."

"She's getting good. She made us cookies and they were nearly as good as yours."

"I don't tend to do more than eye my add-ins like chocolate chips. She measured."

"Great." He took the phone back since the video had been paused. "Kate wrote."

She took the phone to look at, then sighed and sent one back. Kate agreed and settled in with the dogs. "She just got back. Her dad's a bit drunk so she's crashing on the couch." She handed the phone back after restarting the video. She grinned. "We're doing cooking stuff to teach you guys fractions." They all groaned but she grinned. "Last time I made stew and cobbler with my kids."

"We might like that," they agreed in a mumble. They could check out those videos later since they were on a major streaming site.

She smiled at Scott. "Did you see the tweet from the kids in Chicago?"

"No, I didn't. I was off my phone all day because I can't find it."

"They all passed, all but one passed everything and she just has to retake the math portion." She smiled.

"That's great news! Did you tell them I said congrats?"

"I did and said I'd tell you by tonight. I knew you were out and about thanks to FRIDAY answering back for you."

"I can do that when I find my phone. I think I dropped it while I was shrank." She shook her head with a grin. "Steve keeps hearing it ring in the practice room but can't figure out where it's coming from and I didn't have time to go down and look for it."

She nodded. "That's cool."

"It's going to take me hours to climb all over the training room to find it."

"Or you could make it ring and then track the noise so you only have to look in an area."

"I'm hoping so." He looked at the kids. "If you shrink down to ant sized, you sometimes lose some stuff."

"Don't even get him started about people who sneeze near him at that size," Darcy quipped.

"Please don't. Clint nearly sneezed me off a building. I had to expand really fast and grab a flag pole then wait for someone to pull me up. How did you hear about that?"

She grinned. "When you were protecting me, I used to worry you would shrink and stalk me into my room to stare at me while I sleep and I'd fart so you'd hit a wall."

He burst out laughing. "I don't think you're that strong but sure. I'd have stayed on the pillow or the headboard, Darcy." She grinned at him. "I can just hear about that if it happened." He shook his head but he was laughing. "I'd never get to live that down."

"You? I'd somehow have it as my sig line thanks to Tony."

"True, he would." He hugged her. "I like protecting you, you're neat."

"Thank you." She lapped him on the cheek. "From the dog." He grimaced and wiped it off. "Conor likes you and how you play fetch."

"He's a good dog. Just very lap happy."

"He won't cuddle at night."

"Sucks," he agreed, grinning at her. "What's he doing instead?"

"Sleeping on the spare bed. Unless Bucky's in because it's raining then he'll nap on the couch."

"So he's cuddly all day and guarding at night."

"He didn't wake up at all when someone tried to open my bedroom window."

"Did you?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah, I woke up when the guy screamed and fell down the fire escape holding his hands because the shock system's on that window too." She smiled sweetly and innocently. "I don't think that bro dude is going to try to visit again."

"No, probably not," he agreed. "One of those guys?" She nodded with a grin. "You sure?"

"James leaned over the roof and told him his Russian was lacking in skills because all he could do is whine."

"Ah." He nodded once. "Did you tell Clint?"

"No, but came out to talk to the poor idiot. He was deluded into thinking I'm lonely enough to allow that. I pointed out how many humming friends I have that're *so* much better than him and cleaner because that guy needed a shower. Then I told him I'd seen bigger D's on people and he needed a bra as well. I wasn't into guys that wanted to compare cup size." Scott tried not to laugh too loudly, they were in a library. "James came down to force me back inside, which woke up the dog, and went to handle the guy himself. Apparently he spoke his sort of Russian too." Scott got up to go to the bathroom to laugh in private. She grinned at the kids. "Sometimes it's the little things that you need to laugh at."

The kids all shook their heads. Darcy just wasn't right in so many ways it seemed.

***

Kate looked up as Clint strolled in. "Darcy fell into a cave or something and found this. Lady Sif's going to look at it for her. The bow doesn't believe I'm an archer, Clint."

He took it. The bow asked him if he was an archer. "I am. I'm Hawkeye and she's my protege." The bow groaned. "I'm sure you want to see Thor or something." The bow told him how only the best archer could hold him. Clint stared at him. "I am the best archer down here as far as I know. She's my protege." The bow seemed to pout. "I'll call Lady Sif to see if she's ready for you to go home." He put it onto the dining room table and shook his head as he sent Thor that message. "Ah! It's cursed!"

"As long as the curse doesn't transfer to me," she said dryly. He looked at her. "Dad's drinking."

"Sometimes that happens," he agreed. He got an answer back from Steve, making him frown. "Thor's in the infirmary with the sprout. Okay." A new message. "Lady Sif's on her way here." He sent back an 'okay' and settled in to talk with Kate. She was still pouty about a few things. Going to be suddenly poor was a hard transition for many people.

Darcy walked in and put down her bag, letting her puppy greet her. "Hi, Conor. Were you a good boy?" He barked and wagged his tail. "Want some walkies?" She got the leash and he went frantically rushing in circles. "Sit." He sat so she could put on the leash and they went out with Kate's dog and Lucky. Kate's dog had the leash over her back and Lucky was carrying his leash himself. She snapped them on and took them to the park to walk them. Someone tried to approach her with a knife but Conor spotted him and barked, lunging toward him. Lucky started up too and Kate's little dog tried to rush the guy.

"Guys, behave. Thank you for guarding me though." She glared at the human. Who sneered back but backed off. She and the dogs headed back to the apartment. Someone tried to grab her arm so she hit them with that backhand. They hurried inside. Lucky ran out to pee and the other two helped with him holding their leashes while Darcy waited inside the door. Lucky walked them back into the building and they ran up in front of her, barking at the door. Darcy got up there as Clint opened the door. "Sorry, guy with a knife in the park. They all barked at him and Lucky held their leashes while they peed on a car outside."

"That's good of him," Clint agreed, looking outside. He grabbed the new bow, pulling out an arrow to use it on the former agent outside. "Used to be SHIELD even." The bow pulled up an energy arrow but Clint poked at it until it went away. He used his own and the guy went down with a scream. That drew the neighborhood problems to see who he was. "The mob guys can have fun with him." He looked at the bow, who was huffy he hadn't used the specially blessed arrows. "That's only for the one you go to, not me apparently." He put it back down. "Not even my dog gives me lip like you do, bow." Kate was giggling and cuddling her poor dog. Darcy got them dinner and it was nicer until Sif got there.

Darcy grinned. "Welcome, Lady Sif."

"Thank you, Darcy." She looked at the bow. "No one really liked the former wielder."

"That happens sometimes," Darcy agreed. "Clint had to use it for a second and it hated that he didn't use the energy arrow."

Sif grimaced, then looked at him. "If you had, and it had not accepted you as a user, it would curse you."

"Thanks for the warning."

"Who was that person?" Kate asked.

"A warrior we banished for having dark ideas about how to protect the kingdom." She sat down and Darcy put a plate in front of her. "Thank thee, Darcy." She dug in and they talked about that warrior. Sif could hand back the uniform and bow so their death was noted. She had found his and his mate's body buried nearby. James came in to tell Clint about the guy he had shot in the shoulder and got fed by Darcy and Kate. It was a pretty normal night. James even got flirted with by the goddess. It delighted her that he blushed at her innuendos.

***

Sif showed up at the avengers facility the next morning with Clint driving. She walked into the living area, holding up the helmet and bow. Thor grimaced but put his daughter down. She was fussy and Jane was napping on the couch. "Darcy fell into a hole with them. The bow decided Clint was better than his former owner but was human so not worthy."

"There's many on Asgard that have that feeling," Thor reminded her, taking the helmet to look at. "Is he alive?"

"He and a female body were buried near where he buried his armor and bow." She put it onto the table and the bow beside it. The bow complained.

The baby glared at it. "Shh!" she ordered. "You mean!" It shut up. "I sick and you mean and you stupid! Bad bow!"

Sif smiled at her. "Are you sick, little one."

She pouted and nodded. "Me sick. Mommy sick too."

"That happens sometimes." She took her to cuddle. Thor relaxed and nearly fell asleep again. She smiled at the cuddly baby. "You'll be all right." She nodded, pouting up at her. "I know not what you want."

"Story?" she asked hopefully.

"I will tell you about how your father met your mother." She settled in to tell the baby that story. It was a good one. It didn't glorify a battle but the baby needed to know how to be a proper adult. The baby giggled at her mother hitting her father with a car and then taking him to the hospital. Then him learning about poptarts. She liked them too.

Thor smiled at his best friend and let himself drift off. Sif could handle his precious one for a half-hour hopefully.

She looked over then up at Sif. "He nap," she said quietly. "We go?"

"We can go look outside," Sif decided, taking her that way.

"She's allergic to flowers," Clint said as he walked past her with the rest of the armor.

"Thor's resting."

"That can happen when you've got kids," Clint agreed. "I've done plenty and I don't have kids." Sif smiled but they talked about many things the child wanted to know about. She was very curious. When they went back to check on Thor, he was waking up. She sat down across from him again, the sleepy baby on her shoulder. "There are many who would wish to get to know your child," she said quietly.

"There are many who would wish to know her to harm her," he corrected.

"Yes, there are those as well but your other friends sulk that they have not met her yet."

Thor smiled. "I'm not sure if I could bring her back with me, Sif. I would not have her hear slurs against her mother's species."

"There are always some of those, Thor."

"Point. I would need to get guards."

"We would guard your child with you."

He looked at her. "You would. Hogun is at home. Fandaral is somewhere."

"We would gather to meet her." She stared at him. "She should hear stories of her grandmother."

"She should," he agreed. "Thank thee, Sif. I will come back with you for a few weeks."

"Good. She should know of both her peoples."

"That is true. I will bring her for a visit with my father. If aught should happen..."

"I will bring her back myself or die trying, Thor. I would hand her to Lady Darcy."

"Thank three, Sif," he said quietly. He looked at Jane, who blinked at him. "It has been asked if I could take our daughter to Asgard to hear about her other family. It would be a few weeks, Jane."

"Do I need to come? I don't want to spread this flu up there." She yawned. "Sif, don't let her get you sick."

"I have not gotten this flu yet," she said patiently. "We are mostly healthy people, Jane."

"I wouldn't mind coming up then. I'd need to clean us both up and pack."

"We can do that," Thor agreed. They got up and went to clean up and pack while Sif got a box for that armor and bow. Who was still complaining about humans being better archers. Thor came out to stare at the bow. "I honor him for his skills and his loyalty. Should you sneer more, I shall lose you on the Bifrost." It shut up. Thor went back to getting cleaned up.

Sif covered a laugh, sending word to Heimdall to pick them up soon.

***

Little Emma looked around at the throne room then up at her father. "Shiny," she said.

He nodded. "It is," he agreed, smiling at her.

"She is not as advanced as most of our own children," one of the courtiers hissed.

Emma heard him and stomped over to glare up at him. "I'm only three. Do you mind?" she demanded. The man flinched back away from her. "You're rude and rude people are mean people who need a hammer upside their pointy heads." She stared at him. She tipped her head to the side. "You have stupid looking hair."

"She is very fierce," the courtier told Thor.

Thor came to gather his daughter. "You will find many who want favors from you, daughter. Ignore them." He let her walk ahead with him by holding his hand. They walked into the throne room and he bowed. "Father."

She looked at him then at her father. "I thought Grandpa had white hair and a beard."

Loki reappeared, staring at her. "Very good, niece."

"Loki," Thor growled. "This is not the time."

"I only meant to meet my niece, Thor." He stood up and walked down there, looking at her by getting down closer to her level. "How old are you?"

"Three."

"Hmm. A good age to start learning."

"Mommy tries to teach me science but it's not shiny."

Loki smiled. "It is not usually," he agreed. "You will learn what you want to learn. Your mind is strong, like your mother's." He stood up to look at his brother. "Does she age as you do or as her mother does?" he asked quietly.

"Halfway between. Why does it matter?" he demanded.

"Mother's spirit has shown up recently, Thor."

"She would not say a word against my child."

"Odin would have her prove herself yours," he warned.

"I see. Then why are you here and free?"

He smiled. "It does suit me more." He waved a hand. "Mother?" She floated in, glaring at him. He stared back. "Meet your granddaughter?"

She smiled at Jane and Thor. "You adopted Jane's daughter, son?"

"She is ours, Mother."

"Oh!" She smiled at the child. "A true daughter of the line." She floated lower, staring at the young girl.

"Why are you a ghosty?" Emma asked.

"Your grandmother died protecting your mother," Thor said quietly. "We miss her greatly."

"Oh, that's sad. She shouldn't be gone. That makes people sad and sad isn't a good thing."

"Sometimes sad things happen, child," Frigga said quietly.

"Yeah but they don't always have to." She stared at her. "I need a grandma. Mine from Mommy's mom isn't really that patient."

Jane rolled her eyes. "She's got a caretaker in case I get lost in science again," she said when Frigga stared at her.

Frigga stared at her harder then at Thor. "Who are her guardians?"

"None were there when she was named but I named Sif and Darcy. Though we had a large misunderstanding about a few things right afterward so she does not see her often."

"She does not love my grandchild?"

"She did not want to be a nursemaid to her instead of a guardian."

"Ah. Yes, that could be a problem. Young women such as her should have their own children." She looked at the baby then at Thor. "Are you taking the throne, Thor?"

"I was not aware I needed to, Mother." He glared at Loki.

Sif strolled in. "Loki," she growled.

"Hold, Sif," Frigga ordered. "You didn't realize he was here before now." She looked at her son. Who winced. "It is your time, son."

"I..." He looked at Jane and his daughter then at Sif. "Did you know?"

"No! I had no idea, Thor. I can only figure out why." She glared at Loki, who gave her a smug look.

Thor winced. "I would not give up my wife or child, Mother. But I will do my duty and they will be with me."

"There are many that would be upset with that decision."

"Yet we're halfway through the rituals to name her one of us," Thor told him. His mother blinked a few times. "I would not leave my wife or child behind. My daughter will have at least half my lifetime. My wife will match my own lifeforce."

"I..." Jane said, staring at him. "That's what that was for? I thought it was to change how my cellular aging went."

"It does both," Thor told her. "Did you not read that book?"

"You didn't give me a book, Thor. I don't want to decrease your life."

"Yes, love is like that, so said many of your plays," Loki said dryly. "So many about love are tragedies." He stared at Thor. "Should you keep her, appoint her guards."

"I would anyway," he agreed. "She is not a warrior. Though I do not need that suggestion, brother."

"Fine. Just noting a few things that need to be handled." He smiled at the child. "We should announce you."

"We will do that if and when I take my throne," Thor told him. "Not before. It would be a risk." He looked at Sif. "I may still be needed for battles."

"Your father may still be found," Frigga said dryly. "We know not where he went in his grief." Thor glared at Loki, who looked smug but shrugged. "Yes, that was him, son."

"I should smite you."

"No smiting your brother," his mother ordered.

Emma burst out giggling. "Now she sounds like a mommy." She grinned up at Sif. "Are there more rude people who called me deficient out there?"

"Yes," she admitted. "Some are convinced they're gods and they're not worthy of that title. It's sad but some people have an ego they have not earned."

Emma grimaced. "That sucks donkey butt." Jane swatted her. "Hey! Don't mess up my hair!"

"Be more polite," Jane ordered. "We had a talk about that, Emma."

"Yes, Mommy." She sighed, looking up at her father. "Does that mean I can't have piggyback rides?"

"Around the house you may. Not in the throne room."

"I meant from Uncle Steve, Dad."

"We'll go back now and then, Emma. You'll see them."

She huffed. "If you're sure." She walked off to look out a window. "Oooh, horsies." She looked back. "There's horsies. They're *huge*!"

"They are," Sif agreed, smiling at her. "You can learn how to ride."

"No I can't. They're *huge*."

Thor smiled. "When you are older, you may learn how to ride, daughter."

"They're still *huge*, Daddy."

"You'll be bigger when you're older. The same as you're not the same size as a newborn," Jane said patiently. "Some day they won't seem so huge."

"If you're sure." She looked back out there, smiling and waving at the people staring up at her. "Hi. Are those your horsies?" One nodded. "They're pretty."

Sif went to look over her shoulder. "Tis Thor's daughter, Emma," she announced. A few looked upset. "She's a toddler, people." They sighed but let it go for now. She rolled her eyes, looking at the family. "The test?" she asked Loki.

"The test. Odin would have made her. I would not."

Frigga sighed but nodded. "I would not either but there needs to be a male heir, son. Soon."

"Many queens are great," Jane said.

"Our treaties all state the king," Loki said. "Father never really liked women."

"Some of us prove our worth," Jane told him. "Including your own mother."

Frigga smiled. "If that were true, I would not have let my son take over." She stared at Loki, who changed back to Odin with a smirk as the doors were pounded on. "Go settle them down." She waved a hand. "I want nothing near my grandchild."

Loki opened the doors, staring at the people. "Are you truly interrupting myself and Thor catching up while I meet his daughter?" he demanded.

"We demand to meet this child," one sneered. Thor glared at him. "She will not be fit to rule, she's like her mother."

Emma stomped over to stare up at him. "You're an idiot," she said bluntly.

"Emma Jocelyn Thordottir!" Jane ordered. Loki snickered at that. "Quit, now!"

"No, mother." She stared up at him. "Just because I'm half human doesn't make me futile or anything. It means I'm special and great and smart. If you don't like that, blow yourself." She walked off, going to hug her father's leg. "They're mean and idiots, Dad."

"They're allowed their prejudices," he warned, staring down at her. "That does not make them stupid, it makes them undereducated. Quit. Acting. Out," he finished quietly. She sighed and just hugged him. He looked at his mother, who was smirking back. "She's as stubborn as we ever were, Mother."

"Clearly so." She smiled, rubbing a hand over the child's head. "Her mind is strong, Thor, and her body will slow down as she ages until she's closer to our aging than her mother's." She looked at him. "I find her worthy." The courtiers let out a few swears. She looked back. "Just because I have passed on does not mean I cannot punish those who use such language in *my* palace." They fled because others were coming, especially Heimdall.

Fandral stomped in. "Thor, why was I not sent pictures?" he demanded. The baby stared up at him oddly. He smiled at her. "I'm one of your father's best friends."

"I know that. He told me about you." She smiled and held up a hand. "I'm Emma."

"I'm Fandral." He shook the tiny hand.

She giggled. "He told me about you and telling stories. Do you know any about my father?"

"Of course I do. I know many."

"Nothing too risque," Jane warned. "She is three, Fandral."

"Yes, Jane Foster." He smiled at her, kissing her hand. "I would never tell her something too dirty."

"She'll hear those from the rumors," Hogun agreed. "Jane Foster," he said with a bow.

She smiled and patted him on the cheek. "Hi, Hogun." She smiled at the other one. "You're pouting."

"I didn't get a picture nor a note," he complained, glaring at Thor.

"I sent notes," he said. "I had them given to Heimdall." He looked at the older man.

"I had them delivered to them with warriors."

"That may be the breakdown then," Jane admitted. They all glared at her. "Not everyone is happy Thor has a daughter. Or a daughter with a human. We've already run into that today. Emma told him off before I could slap the living fuck out of him."

Hogun laughed, hugging Jane. "We admire your strength, Jane Foster. You will be a queen like his own mother."

Frigga nodded. "Quite." She smiled.

"I'm still going to be working on science things," Jane warned. "I'm not meant to sit around and listen to people complain."

Thor hugged her. "We will figure it out. I'm not truly ready to sit on my father's throne. I still have duties to Midgard."

An older woman walked in and bowed to them. "I'll take the child, Prince Thor. That way she's properly attired and coifed."

Jane looked at her. "She's already got a nanny, miss, and she's fine in her present clothes. I did put her into something pretty so she could make a good impression."

"They're Midgardian clothes, not Asgardian clothes. She should wear the clothes of her people."

"She is. I am her mother."

"Yet you are on Asgard."

"Enough," Frigga warned. "Jane is correct, the child is appropriately dressed and I'm sure Jane takes much care of her child."

"Unless Jane's in the lab," Jane agreed with a nod. "Then Thor or her nanny does. She's fine until her next meal. Which she does eat with us." The nursemaid looked horrified. "We're not that sort of family, ma'am. We do tend to keep our child with us unless there's a battle." She looked at Sif. "What would your mother have done?"

Sif shrugged. "My mother was much like that one in that she wanted her children older before they became underfoot. It's why I got in so much training before she learned of it." She gave her a smug look. "As we'll be training your child, Jane."

"Please do. She could use the self defense work, Sif."

"True, she could." Emma walked over to stare up at her. "What?" she asked quietly.

"Your panties are in a twist," she said bluntly, grinning at her. "Over me. I kinda like that." She hugged her. "You're neat. You're my second favorite auntie after Auntie Pepper because she taught me about clothes stuff."

"Pepper is very good at such things," Sif agreed. "It is something most queens learn sometime."

Emma grinned. "You still can't play in dresses."

"No, you can't," Jane agreed. "You can only sit and read in dresses."

"Which can suck since I'm still learning my letters," she said with a grin for her auntie.

"We can show you where you can play in the dirt later," Sif promised. The girl gave her another squeeze. She looked at the guys then at the parents and the former queen. "In the gardens, My Queen?"

"There's a nice area out there that the boys did that to many times," Frigga's ghost agreed. "She should enjoy it just as much. It probably even has bugs in it again."

"Bugs?" she asked with a grimace.

"Bugs in the ground help plants grow," Jane told her. "Like the worms Uncle Scott introduce you to. Or his ant friends."

"Oh, them. I guess they're okay but they're bugs. That's kinda icky."

"They're usefully icky," Frigga assured her with a smile. She looked at Jane. "Would you consent to have your next one up here? There's ways we can support it so it's closer to the father's aging."

"I'm not against that," she agreed. "Though I'm not looking forward to another pregnancy. I had an awful time last time with morning sickness and headaches."

"Because we're so different?" Sif asked.

"We're not that different," Thor told her. "I checked to make sure. We're much the same only we age more slowly. The morning sickness is something that runs in her family."

"About ten percent of women in the world get extreme morning sickness," Jane told her. "It didn't help that I ignored myself in the lab," she admitted, looking at her daughter. "You hated math back then. You kicked each time I started to work on math stuff."

She grinned. "It's kinda icky now too, Mom." Jane rolled her eyes.

Jane looked at the former queen. "I'm not against having another child, but I had a *horrible* pregnancy and I was told it was probably going to happen again, though with less morning sickness. That hits the most often with first time mothers. My mother only had one because of hers. The doctors ordered her not to have a second. Mine suggested it but didn't order it."

Frigga nodded. "He really needs a son. We'd have to redo treaties and many would see a queen as a weak ruler. One who could be influenced by her husband."

Emma cleared her throat. "Boys are even more icky than math and bugs. You don't know that I won't like girls instead."

Frigga stared at her oddly. "Do you?"

"How would I know? I won't know that for years yet," Emma said dryly. "Mommy said so when I asked her about a lesbian auntie I have."

"Oh. I didn't know you were that open, Jane."

"I have a few friends who are bisexual or fully gay," she said. "Some humans it still bothers but I think it's stupid to be concerned about who someone I know sleeps with unless they're kids or dead people or animals. Or stuffed animals, that's kinda creepy," Jane admitted.

"It's not something we as a society are against," Hogun assured her. "Though there's many who would assume a queen would marry a king to have heirs."

"We have IVF," Jane said. "You can use a donor's sperm and make the baby then implant it."

"It's not something we talk about but some infertile people do go for that," Sif admitted. "Or some other sorts of magical treatment for the problems. I had not thought about those who like their own gender doing so but I assumed they had donated sperm sent in somehow."

"We have things that can do that if you wanted to do it without a doctor," Jane agreed. "Turkey basters in the old days. We have some suction tube sort of things to do that with if we want to use them."

Sif nodded. "That's reasonable and privately done without those who would gossip."

"Gossip only comes from some women having surrogates to carry your children for you." Jane picked up her daughter with a groan. "You're yawning. Are you sleepy?"

She nodded. "The sparkly bridge wore me out." She put her head on her mother's shoulder after moving her hair out of the way. "I'll nap now."

"If you wish," Thor agreed, taking her. "She'll get heavy, Jane." He patted her on the back, letting her nap with some of his hair in her fist.

Jane smiled. "He's good to sleep on," she told the guys who were staring at their buddy.

Thor looked at his mother. "My shoulders fit her well."

She smiled. "Does your hammer like her, Son?"

"Yes, Mother. She plays with M'jolnir many times. It even let her pick it up a few times to swing it around. It even helps her play house with her dolls because they use it to protect their house as the hearth."

She smiled. "Will it go to her?"

"Perhaps," he agreed. "I can't be sure of that. She's still innocent."

"True, but it is a good omen," she said. "She can carry it after you when you're crowned, Son." He nodded once, glancing at Jane.

"We still need to go home to finish packing," Jane said. "And to say goodbye for a while."

Frigga nodded. "That would be best. It may be much time before he can go back, Jane."

She looked at the former queen. "And if the team needs him, he may need to go because we get worse and worse evil coming for us."

"Point. We would work that out."

"Please do not suggest we send warriors," Thor said, rolling his eyes. "They are not respectful and they tend to become great asses who get whiny when someone beats them."

"We were hoping you could beat manliness into him," Sif assured him. "I couldn't. My arm's not that strong."

Thor smirked at her. "I did teach him what a man was and then sent him home begging for mercy. Before I had to smite him for real for bothering Wanda."

Sif winced. "Did she do her thing with his mind?"

"To make him quit trying to talk her into his bed," Thor said. "Then he got pouty and tried to blame her for him not doing well in battles. So we sparred." She laughed and patted him on the free arm.

"I remember him. He was very weak in anything that would be counted as manhood. He couldn't read, he couldn't cook, he couldn't talk about things, he couldn't fight really well, he hated women fought. He made fun of Wanda a few times behind her back for fighting. He tried that with Natasha and spent the day in the infirmary drooling from her Widow's Bites." She looked at Sif. "Was he considered a teenager?"

"No. He should have been. We were hoping Thor could impart lessons into him."

"We all tried," Jane told her. "Including Steve."

Sif smiled. "Steve is goodly at battles and many manly arts. It's a pity he is not taken by a proper warrior."

She grinned. "You never met Sharon did you?" Sif stared at her oddly. "Yeah, that one. They're not *dating* but they're talking about dating. Sharon's still pretty busy and Steve's off on missions so they don't get too much time together."

"I remember meeting her," Sif admitted. "She seems nice enough. Is she a warrior?"

"She's a former SHIELD agent," Jane told her. "One of the top agents who hadn't been turned."

"Huh. Then she would probably suit Steven very well." She nodded once. "I hope he finds leisure with her soon so they can figure that out. If not, perhaps Darcy?"

"No idea," Jane admitted. "I haven't done more than email Darcy in a few weeks. I think he likes her dog."

"Conor is a good hound," Sif agreed. "Very protective of her. Cuddly until she wishes to sleep. I spent the night as her guest and the dog huffed at me being on his usual spot but slept on the couch instead."

"She pouted about that," Jane agreed.

Sif smiled. "It's good she has something to do all day. Conor needs much brushing and some training. She's doing good with him and Kate's dog Cutey."

"I heard about that mess. Is Kate staying with her?"

"Not often."

"That's good then. I know she lives near Clint."

"You can see his apartment from her bedroom," Sif said with a smile. "He and Lucky were playing fetch that night I stayed."

"That's so cute. Lucky's a good dog. He likes to pounce Bruce to lap and nap on." Sif smiled. "Totally knocks him down if they're outside and lays on top of him. He'll sneak into Bruce's lab and knock his chair away from his table so he can hop up to lap him. It's Lucky's way of making him take a break. It's less subtle than Darcy did but more fun to watch."

Sif giggled. "I do like dogs, yes." She tipped her head to look at the child then at Thor. "She can nap on a couch."

"I'd rather have her at hand. She has a habit to wander when she's first awakened."

Sif nodded. "That can be a problem."

Loki as Odin nodded. "Yes it could be with some of the people around here. Go to your room, Thor. We will talk later tonight." Thor arched an eyebrow up at him then looked at his mother.

Frigga smiled and patted his cheek. "Go rest, dear. We'll talk in a bit. Take your friends so you can catch up." They nodded and bowed at them then left. She looked at her son. "I truly wish you hadn't done that. You could have found another way than taking your father's spot when he walked off."

"I know but it's necessary. With all that's going on, it's more necessary we have him now." He walked off. "Let me go rest for the usual nighttime meeting."

"Fine." She watched her son go and made plans. Because she was not a weak queen and things were going fast toward a bad point. They needed her actual heir to the throne back.

***

Darcy looked over as someone knocked. "Who is it?" she called. She heard a muffled 'Steve' and got up to look then open the door. "Hey, Steve. And Scott. And Stark." She let them in. "Don't sit on the dog, Tony." She checked the hall then shut the door. She looked at the three grim men. "What's happened?"

"Thor got recalled to Asgard," Tony said. He sat down and looked at the napping dog. "Is he sick?"

"He's worn out. We played earlier for a few hours in the park." She yawned. "So problems on Asgard?"

"It looks like it," Scott said. "We're not sure if they're going to be able to keep Emma with them. If it's a war coming...."

"Jane can't stay. Parts of Asgard are not very human friendly," Darcy said. "We went up for a week before we came back to New York because Thor had to do something official. Most every single person in the palace sneered at Jane and I was just seen as her handmaiden and guard so therefore not as good as theirs would be. One tried something drunkenly and got tased, which made Thor laugh, but Heimdall stepped in to send that idiot drunken warrior wannabe off for Jane."

"Okay," Steve said. "I wouldn't have expected that."

"They live *really* long lives," Darcy reminded him. "Thor was about three thousand when he was kicked out for being a teenager suddenly put in charge of his kingdom and army. He did what his father had fed him for years and got blamed for it."

Stark nodded. "I remember him saying that. Is he going to be all right?"

"Yes, probably. I'm more worried about a few other things. Did Odin call him home?" Everyone nodded. "Because Odin's probably dead. The one on the throne is wearing an illusion. I can see through those while slightly lit on Asgardian mead." Steve winced. "So whoever's taking over is over their head probably. Also, his hammer picks the wielder. Will it like him if they have another huge war? The last one on Asgard was before he was born."

Steve winced but nodded at that. "That's a possible problem. Can it happen?"

"Yeah. The myth of his hammer says that if he becomes unworthy to it, it'll pick a new wielder."

"Wow," Stark said. "Okay. That's a huge problem. Who would it pick?"

"I'm kinda scared that Jane sent me pictures of Emma playing with it."

"And that could cause problems with their people if they don't like Jane," Scott said. She nodded. "Any other concerns?"

"Is that army going to listen to Thor?"

Steve blinked. "He's going to be their king."

"And the last time he ruled the army they had a huge problem battle," Stark reminded him. "So maybe."

"But if he's the king and he's the only one left, and they don't like Emma anyway, they could assassinate him," Steve realized. Darcy nodded, grimacing at that idea. "Does he have backup?"

"The Warriors Three and Lady Sif. Maybe whoever's being Odin."

"If it's his brother, they've got bad blood," Stark said. "But they worked together to avenge their mother."

"Loki got given hell by Odin," Darcy said. "I heard a lot of stories of Loki doing something and Thor being praised."

"Sounds like my father had a prototype," Stark said, sipping the water he had come in with.

She nodded. "Which could cause a problem." She got up to get a cup of coffee and put something into the cup then took a sip. Huh, illusions. She was right, that wasn't Stark. She set off an alarm in the kitchen to Clint's apartment. She came back and looked at Scott, who shrugged. "Can you take Conor into the bathroom, Scott? That way he's not in the way?"

"Sure, Darcy." He got up to lift up the dog, who started awake but sniffed and licked him. "Let's go into the bathroom, Conor." He carried him in there and Darcy hit the saferoom door, which made him wince. "Oh, damn it. Darcy?" he called.

"Stay," she yelled back. "They're wearing illusions."

He put the dog on the bed and looked at the door. He found the switch and tried to get it open but she had it locked on him. "Darcy, let me help!" he called.

"No! Stay. Stuff's in there, Scott."

He looked and frowned, going into her closet. He opened the fake back and found weapons. "Yeah, we want this in here." He heard someone stomping in and smiled at the scream. "Clint, I'm in here with the dog. She locked me in," he called.

"That's fine," Bucky yelled back. "Stay!"

"Sure." He called Clint. He was grocery shopping and hurried over to help. With Lucky as it happened. He could hear Lucky barking and Conor got up to bark back. The door unlocked and Scott put the dog in the bathroom then hurried out, hitting the door key to lock the dog back in but tossed Lucky in there before it fully closed. He attacked the people who weren't Clint and Bucky or Darcy. They went down under their group attack. Scott sighed at the end, looking at Bucky. "I had no idea they weren't Steve and Stark. They picked me up at the facility."

Darcy waved her coffee cup. "I put in a touch of mead." She took another sip. "Is my dog in the bathroom?"

"Yeah, with the door barely closed so he can get it open but I had time to get out." He stared at her. "That's not a good idea, Darcy. You could've gotten him and let me handle it."

"Scott, no. They're not HYDRA. They've got to be Asgardian."

"Crap," he muttered. "Well, they know we're worried about Thor and Odin."

She smirked. "I'm pretty sure they think I'm still really close with Jane." She sighed as Clint looked at her. "We have to give them back."

"We do," he agreed. "Somehow."

"Let me go change," she ordered. "Diplomatic things take real clothes, not jammie pants and a t-shirt." She went to do that and came out in more battle oriented clothes. Not leather pants, because she couldn't fit into them, but something nice enough but tough enough for her. She grabbed her tazers and a few other things then nodded at Clint. "Uniform?"

"Yeah, let me pop next door." He went to do that and came back. "Kate's on her way to watch the dogs."

"I can watch them both," Scott said. "That way no one attacks here."

"Okay," Clint agreed. He put his bow on his back and they hefted up the two main guys and let Steve get the other two to drag onto the roof with Bucky's help. They waited inside the circle Darcy drew then looked up.

"Heimdall, there's a huge problem and they want to attack Thor and Jane!" she bellowed. The bridge showed up and Heimdall walked down to look at her. She pointed. "Wearing illusions of Thor's teammates. The other two," she said with a point. "Ran in to help them attack me."

He grimaced. "There's many who do not like his choice of mate."

"Yeah, there's more than that. We were brainstorming about why call Thor back *now*." She stared at him. "Did you know that a touch of mead in something makes me able to see through illusions?"

"I did not," he admitted. "But I have seen others."

She smiled. "Me too that night." He winced. "Can we deliver them to Thor?"

"Yes, you may." He nodded at Clint. "Noble Hawkeye and Captain," he said with a nod at him. "I will help you drag them. They are not worthy to walk." They carried them in, Darcy following them. She got the doors though.

Darcy opened the throne room door. "What are you doing here, human girl?" Odin sneered.

She smirked. "A few of your people came to attack me to get information on Thor, Sire Odin." She stared at him. "It's a great thing that some Asgardian mead makes me see through illusions that I caught them at it." He blinked at her. She stared back. "I saw through some lady's beauty illusion when I was last up here." She smiled, giving him a pointed look. "Would you have us litter your throne room or some other room, Sire Odin?"

"In here is fine, Chit," he said smoothly. She smirked and bowed, helping drag them into the room. "Hmm. Did you use your lightening stick on them?"

"No. I used a kitchen knife and a kitchen chair on them. They're not worthy of my lightening sticks. They wanted information on Thor and his family plus why they recalled him now."

Odin nodded once. "That is tactical but stupid of them." He got up to walk down there, staring at them. "That one's brother sneered at Thor's daughter. Interesting."

Darcy snorted. "They sneer at that child and they'll face me. I may not be with Jane any longer but I'll gladly protect Emma."

"Good. The child has quite a mouth on her." His mother floated in. "These ones went to Lady Darcy's house to inquire about Thor."

"Under illusion as Stark and Steven," Darcy said with a point at Steve. "Thankfully we had some help when they showed up."

"She didn't let me hit them very hard," Clint admitted. "I should've hit them more often."

The ghost of Queen Frigga smiled at her then at Clint. "It is very stress relieving, Clinton." She patted him on the cheek. "You are a good friend."

"Yes I am."

She smiled at Darcy. "Are you well?"

"Yeah. For right now. It's just a mean day for me."

Frigga smiled. "That can be a good thing sometimes." She looked at the unconscious bodies. "They should suffer as only Odin can make sure of from his high seat."

"They should," he agreed, looking at Darcy. "You have the right to suggest a punishment."

"I barely read over Asgard's laws," she admitted. "But I'm not sure if treason is punishable by anything other than anger."

"It would be treason if they had harmed Thor," he admitted.

"Or his spouse or child," Darcy reminded him. "They are married by Midgardian tradition and you refused to accept his suggestion they marry up here, therefore that tradition does stand by what I read."

"It does," he agreed, smirking at her. Steve stiffened so he looked at him. He raised an eyebrow. "We would rather not do anything too...inhumane."

"Then make them a story told to children to scare them straight," Darcy said. "It can even be funny if you wish. After all, Emma would love some protective guard dogs. I'm sure you have other mages on this realm that can do that. A punishment to protect her and a punishment of form."

He smiled. "I like that idea," he said, chuckling as he walked back to her seat. "I will consider that option, chit."

Jane walked in boldly and hugged her. "I just heard. What happened?"

"Supposedly Steve and Stark," she said, pointing at each. "Showed up with Scott to talk about why Thor got recalled suddenly. I pointed out a few worries I had about why. Then I realized they weren't them because Stark wasn't staring at my chest in the nearly see-through old t-shirt I was wearing after my shower. I took a sip of mead with my coffee and saw the illusions like I did that night. So I sent Scott in to protect my dog and himself while I threw a kitchen knife at them."

"Scott can fight," Clint reminded her patiently.

"Yeah but he's got a daughter," Darcy said. "That's more important because this wasn't the fate of the world. If they had gotten past me and gotten back up here, Thor would've stomped them flat."

"True," he agreed. Thor stomped in. "We helped Darcy defeat them, Thor. They wanted intel on you and the family."

"I had a worry about who'd get your hammer if you fell," Darcy said quietly, touching his arm. "Especially with the pictures of Emma Jane sent me."

He blinked at her. "That is a worry I had not conceived of," he admitted. "But a good one. She...she's much too young." Darcy nodded, smiling up at him. "What other worries did we have?"

"Illusion seeing. Why now." He winced but nodded. "I didn't realize they weren't Stark and Steve until after that talk. I'm sorry."

"It is not a problem, Lady Darcy. You should have been safe in your own home to talk about your worries about your friends." He sneered at them then smiled at her. "We will be careful."

"I suggested they should be very protective dogs for Emma," she quipped.

He laughed, hugging her. "That would be a fitting punishment for coming after you."

"As she pointed out, that's bordering on treason," Clint told him.

Thor nodded, pulling him over to hug him as well. "It is, Noble Clint. Thank you for helping my lightening sister." He looked over and shook Steve's hand. "We will not be back for a while. We're needed for now and they wanted my future son to be born up here."

"That's reasonable, Thor," Steve said. "If you need us, you'll call. If we need you, we'll try to call."

Thor nodded. "Thank thee, Steven. We'll see each other again soon and I do not want to see your funeral instead." He stared at him. Steve grinned and nodded, backing up. He stared at Darcy. "Be safer, Darcy. Those who are after you are dumb and mean."

"I know but they can't knock me up, Thor. I took even more precautions now. It'd take them having me for over a year before it could work." He smiled and nodded, hugging her again. She hugged him then Jane. "Be safe, Janie, and remember to eat with the science."

"I can do that. Thor will remind me if Emma doesn't. I can get a lot of star research done up here."

Darcy winked at her, subtly handing her something. "For my future clone." She winked and they left together with Heimdall.

Jane put the tazer into her pocket and looked at Thor, smiling at him. He grinned at that subtlety. He looked at the ghost of his mother then at his 'father'. "We are needed for their hearings?"

"No," Odin/Loki said. "Not in the least, Thor. We can ask them ourselves. Go back to your rest before dinner." They walked off and Odin looked at the miscreants. "Darcy is quite a human," he noted. "Very spicy."

His mother nodded. "Quite. She is quite the young woman." She floated off to tell the jailers that they had new residents. Though their hearings were quietly done, they ended up as dogs to guard the young princess. Former Queen Frigga laughed but smiled at his decision. Emma came running in at their order to fetch her and stared at the dogs. She came down to teach them how to sniff her and her how to pet them and treat them well. It was good for her to learn anyway. Plus protective. They were spelled to serve no master other than Emma and 'Odin' in his true form. Just in case the original Odin showed up and hated his grandchild.

***

Darcy walked back onto the roof first, nodding at Kate, who looked upset. "Did we miss more than a few hours?" she asked as she walked in and pulled down her hair.

"No. Just tactless bitches at school."

Darcy gave her a hug. "There's always future trophy moms in the world, Katie. They'll always hate those who have more of everything like class and more skills. You have both so of course they're jealous. If they had to lost part of the family money they'd never survive it." She went to get changed. "Have the dogs went out recently?"

"Yeah, they're still exhausted from you playing earlier but they peed on the manager's car. He huffed but couldn't really stop Lucky from peeing on his tires again."

Clint shook his head, flopping down in a chair. Darcy went to change. Steve sat down next to Scott and Kate on the couch. Darcy came out holding up something to them. "Well, it's cute, Darce, but I'd rather see that on you in private," Clint quipped dryly.

"It was laying on my bed like I was laying down wearing it," she said. "I didn't know my dog could lay out lingerie I don't even own."

Kate looked at it. "Not mine either. I'm not that tiny."

Darcy looked at the tag. "It's a six, Kate."

"Yeah but I'm an eight and I have a generous 'b' cup. I'd be stuffed in that thing."

Darcy looked at her. "Don't ever wish for bigger ones. They're a hassle." She looked at Scott, who shook his head quickly. Bucky came in off the roof scowling. "Who laid out the trashy lingerie I didn't own?" she asked him, holding it up again.

He stared at it. "Not a clue. The only one that was in here was the manager, he was dropping off a note on the table." He pointed at it.

Kate grinned at him then at her. "You have a package down there and it's heavy."

"I didn't order anything," she said. She sighed, going down there with the nightie. Maybe he knew. She knocked on his door. "Sorry about Lucky."

"It's fine. It's not the first time and it'll rain tonight to rinse it off. You have a package."

"I didn't order anything." He winced. "Also." She held up the nightie. "It was on my bed like in the spot I'd be laying down."

"That I have no idea about. I can ask the other single lady in the building for you. Your friend next door?"

"Was with me when I was gone for a few minutes," she admitted.

"Huh." He shook his head. "No clue, Lewis."

"Okay. Tell me if you find any others." He pointed at the box. She stared at it. "That is huge. Heavy?" He nodded. "Over sixty?"

"Probably just under." He helped her lift it and she grunted but carried it back upstairs. He went to talk to that other lady. She lived on the other side of the building but you never knew.

Darcy kicked the door, getting it opened by Scott. "Heavy." He got out of the way so she could put it onto the table. "He had no idea about the nightie and I have no idea what this is." Steve got up to come look. She frowned as she looked at the address. "That's the empty building next door to the halfway house my cousin was in," she said. "They had empty houses on each side of it."

The manager knocked and Clint let him in. "She hasn't gotten any tacky presents," he said, handing it over. "But she said she saw those mob guys hanging around earlier."

"I'm going to smite them like Thor smites pastries," Darcy said. The manager smiled. "Thanks, Bob."

"Welcome, Lewis. Be safe and call the police if that's something wrong."

She nodded. "It probably is since it's addressed from an empty house." He grimaced. "I'll call them in a minute, after I call the place next door to that address. Thank you."

"Welcome." He let himself out.

Darcy called the halfway house. "Hi, I'm Craig DeCrith's cousin Darcy Lewis. I know he's not there. I got a rather large package mailed from, I think, you guys. It's from 1503 instead of 1505 so I was checking to see if you guys sent me something of his." She listened to him ask his boss. "So definitely not you guys then. Okay, thank you. No, I'm calling the NYPD because that's probably not a good thing. Have a great night and thank you."

She hung up and looked at the guys, who all nodded. Darcy called the local station. "Hey, Officer Bob. It's Darcy Lewis and I have a suspicious package that was delivered here," she noted. "Yeah, I wasn't going to cause a panic. About sixty pounds and it came from the empty house beside the halfway house my cousin was in. I called them and they said they didn't send me anything. They'd send his stuff up to him in New Hampshire.

"Yeah, I think so. I've got a few friends here but I'm not touching it. No, large, like about sixty pounds. Really dense too. Feels like it's full because nothing moved when I hauled it up the stairs. No, I don't think it's a bomb but I have no idea what it is. I didn't order anything. Hell, for all I know it's another biological thing like HYDRA tried to get me with once." She looked over. "No, doggies back," she ordered with a point. "Don't get near that." Kate's dog barked and Kate looked then at it.

"Its got blood," Kate said. "She barks at knives and blood."

"Heard that?" Darcy asked. "Please. Thank you." She hung up. "They'll get someone over. I didn't want to get bomb squad here," she said at Scott's look. "It'd cause a lot of attention for probably not a good reason." The little dog was still snarling at the package. Darcy picked her up to look at. "Cutey, what're you doing?" She wiggled and tried to get at the box to bark at. "No, not for doggies." She put the three dogs into the bedroom and shut the door while Steve was letting in the officer. "I didn't want to cause a huge panic. There's no telling what it is."

The officer nodded. "We like that. This the only package?" She held up the nightie. "Where did that come from?"

"It was laying on my bed when I got back."

"Does your bedroom have a fire escape?" Scott asked. She nodded. "So they probably did that. Doesn't the window have a shock system?"

"It's down right now. The lightening strike last night knocked out the fuse and they can't replace it until tomorrow."

"Huh," the officer said. "If that works like I think it works that's dangerous."

"There's an ID scanner under the one outside the door," Kate said. "It'll scan badges." They nodded at that. "So you guys and fire department."

"Good idea," he decided. He came to look at it. The dogs went nuts. "Thank you for putting them up."

"Kate's dog barks at blood and knives," Steve said. "It was really trying to get that box."

The officer looked it over then took pictures to send in. He got an order. "We've moved it?"

"From the manager's apartment floor. I carried it up," Darcy said.

"Okay," he decided. "We can probably move it safely then." They got it down to the police car so they could take it to the right station. "We'll let you know, Miss Lewis."

"Thank you, guys. It's freaky it came from the empty house next door to his former halfway house. I called them and they said it wasn't them."

"That's a good precaution and weird," the officer agreed. "Let me take this in and we'll see." She nodded, shaking his hand and filling out the forms for him. He drove it off to that station.

Darcy went to fix dinner shaking her head. "Very weird." She looked at Clint. "Would the mob guys give me the nightie?"

"Maybe," he admitted. "They're all rough around the very sharp edges."

"I met smarter and nicer guys in prison," Scott said with a small shrug.

Kate looked at him. "Are they like snobby bitches that run in packs in school?"

"No, they do more than cut you with words, Kate."

"So will these. One tried to stab me the other day for wearing shoes she wanted. Apparently they were too good for me."

Scott shook his head. "I'll never understand those sort." He went to let the dogs out. They all sniffed the couch then the table then went to beg Darcy for treats. She put down dog treats for them and they carried them out to suck up to owners or friends in Conor's case. He did like Bucky.

***

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