Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup


Xander walked into his favorite tea shop, seeing the glares. He grinned. "Steve arrested the witch that was trying to create a new hellmouth, and the same witch who was trying to open a minor stretch mark in the universe." He put down a picture with a smirk. "She's in jail for at least a bit."

The head of the coven looked at her picture, moaning at who it was. "We know of her. She left us because we were too Goddess centered."

Xander smiled. "She's being held on a few charges and the judge looked disgusted. She's got a really high bail."

"That might help," another agreed. "Is it open?"

"Just barely broadcasting but I got a geek in from the project in Colorado. They can monitor it. Plus two soldiers showed up. One's got magic."

"You just bring us such *happy* news," the head of the coven said with a smirk. Xander grinned back. "Damn it."

"Oh and I'm looking for a job finally if you hear about a construction or easier one."

"If we do, we'll tell you so you can quit eating out of your garden."

"Dawn doesn't like veggies. She's a weird girl."

"Yes she is. Is she coming to our coven?" the head of the coven asked.

"I'll ask her. She's nagging Kono and Chin because someone tried to curse them." He texted her. She came in a few minutes later smiling. "You get it fixed?"

"Removed it onto a necklace Kono and Chin were wearing so they could take it off and hold it." She smiled and shook the head of the coven's hand. "I'm Dawn kinda Summers."

"We heard, child." She tested her magic, nodding. "We have a natural living coven."

"I like makeup and clothes. They did make me a Summers." The head of the coven laughed, nodding. "But sure, I don't mind a lot of women to learn from. I'm not Rosenburg. I don't want to be Rosenburg."

"Mention her three times together and she might show up," Xander reminded her.

"Point. I won't mention her name again. Oh, and saw Anya, Xander. She didn't look good." She looked at him. "She looked really exhausted."

"Like she got a fond wish and killed a bunny even though she'd hate that outcome?" he asked.

"I still think it's weird she has a bunny phobia." She looked at the head of the coven again. "A millennia as a vengeance demon and she's scared and freaked out from bunnies."

"She got her former job by tormenting her husband for taunting her about bunnies," Xander said.

"Makes sense to me. She was making his life a living hell for making hers one," Dawn quipped. "I hope my future boyfriends or whatever are nicer to me."

"We'll just hide the toads," Xander said dryly. "Unlike Willow turning me into a dog because I told her she was being a brat."

"That's a nicer name than I'd use," Dawn told him, patting him on the arm. She looked at the coven, shrugging some. "I'm in Xander's spare room. Buffy threw a huge fit that I got pulled here and the coven wasn't much better."

"They do seem to be that way sometimes," he agreed. "They also had someone show up earlier to blame me for the PTB wanting the hunters gone." Dawn stared at him oddly. He nodded. "Apparently it's my fault the Army gave me cancer. They actually told me if I hadn't jumped in to help Buffy none of this would've happened so it was my fault that I upended the usual order and way of doing things. I kindly asked a local demon with those sort of skills to show them Cordy's wish verse." He grinned. "And then told her she's lucky I wasn't turned because I would've taken out the coven. And hey, I knew explosives."

Dawn giggled. "Did they quit?"

"No and she tried to curse me until that demon sent her home. So apparently it's my fault for me saving people's lives and my own at the same time. Even Willow because they decided I brought her into it."

Dawn nodded. "They need shrinks."

"The Goddess would hate them thinking that people are supposed to be victims who wait on a tiny little girl to save them," one of the coven said.

"Exactly!" Xander agreed, nodding and grinning at her. "But that coven is full of Council-related witches. Hell, they drove off Ethan Rayne and made him into the chaos mage he is. I'm pretty sure they're only supposedly on the side of good. Especially since they didn't punish the witch that hurt her boyfriend's baby mama's kids in the hospital and got a few extra kids."

Dawn shuddered. "I heard and answered the call out to raise power to help remove those illness curses. Oh my god is that wrong."

The head of the coven cleared her throat. "A witch where did what?"

"A witch in North Dakota cursed her boyfriend's new baby mama's kids to get really sick, like meningitis sick," Dawn said. The witch slumped, shaking her head. "And she got a few extra kids. The kid was already sick and in the hospital so she got half the ward. And the Devon coven didn't even say a word to her when requested. One of the Canadian covens sure did and put out a call to get some power raised so I offered them some of mine. Hopefully they've done something to that witch beyond turn her in to the PD."

"North Dakota doesn't have laws against witches like her," Xander said. "They'll have to go sideways to get her for making threats or something." The door to the shop blew in without anyone standing there. Xander looked at his necklace then at Dawn. Who shook her head. He looked back. "Yup, it's black magic and Sunnydale. Hey, Willow. Back in your body?" She appeared and glared at him. He stared back. "What?"

"She's not from here."

"Duh, you pulled me here," Dawn quipped. "Of course I'm not from here, Willow."

"You're a demon."

"I'm not a demon." She looked at the coven. "Do I feel like a demon?"

"No. Powerful but not that way." She looked at Xander, who nodded for her to flee. "Ladies, go do the inventory. And one of you go stop Belinda." She had spotted the vengeance demon showing up.

"Hey, Belinda," Xander called with a smile and a wave. "Have you seen Anya? Dawn said she looks really tired."

She came in, nodding. "Yeah, there's a reason for that." She stared at Willow. Then at Dawn, testing her. "She really did pull you from your realm. Huh." Dawn nodded with a grimace. "Okay. Well, at least you're safer. Xander, go ahead and take her with you to those nice officers so they can guard her?"

"Dawn, shoo, go be safe," he said. She blew a kiss as she jogged off. Xander grinned at Belinda. "This is a nice place that helped me a lot so let's protect these good witches." She grabbed Willow. He got the other arm and they walked her off to the nearest park. Willow got herself free and glared at them. "That way you don't destroy those good witches and their nice tea shop." He stared at her. "What're you doing here?"

"You're evil," she said.

"No, I'm just tired," he said. "Evil me is probably a bit less tired. I'll have to see if I can scry their realm to see that."

Belinda looked at him. "Evil you would be tired from your harem, Harris."

"That might be nice," he agreed dryly. "That and a job. If you hear of someone looking?"

"I'll gladly tell you, Harris. You're right, you'll need a job when Anya gets free of her current boyfriend."

He nodded. "Or sooner so I don't eat like a vegan witch anymore." Willow let out magic and his protection pendant sucked it up. "Thanks, it needed recharged." She shrieked and he let it handle it. Belinda was casting against her. Willow screamed and lunged to hit him but he held her off. They both looked over at the sound of cuffs opening. "Hey, Chin."

"Xander. Miss," he said with a nod at Belinda.

"This is Belinda. She's a wish demon, Chin. And a really nice lady. One of Anya's tea buddies."

"Ma'am," he said with a nod. "Xander, is that the redheaded menace?"

"Yup, sure is." He got out of the way. "She's decided I'm evil."

"You pulled me into hunting and my addiction," she sneered.

"No one forced you to help Buffy, to try magic, to go to your magic dealer, none of it, Willow. No one could force you to do anything. You decided to help. You decided that magic was cool. You decided to keep digging into magic even after being warned you were going too far. Even after it lost you Tara. You still did it; that was your choice. Not mine." She tried to hit him again. Xander shoved her back. "I'm not going to hit you, Willow. I'm not going to jail for assaulting you by paddling your ass like you need." Belinda nodded. "Now, you can go home, or you can you can go home. Which do you want?" She threw magic at Xander but Belinda blocked it. Willow tried to banish her. Anya's spell came out and stopped her that time. Willow screamed and attacked Anya but Xander knocked Willow down. So the magic came out but hung there. "I don't think that's what a good witch does, Rosenburg. Anya, you're really sick for some reason," he said. "I can smell it from here."

She nodded. "He was poisoning me. And himself."

"Can we get him for that?" Chin asked her.

"Please do. Though he probably won't last too much longer." Xander pulled her over to hug her. "Thank you, Xander. If you felt like this, I'm so sorry you got so sick." She patted him on the cheek. "Don't let me infect you."

"I'll be fine. I'm immune to a lot of poisons." Willow got up and was huffing. Chin was moving to arrest her but she threw magic and Xander blocked it with his body. Willow smirked at him. Xander took off his hellmouth necklace, tossing it at Anya. "C'mon. You tried to kill me before. Try again, bitch." He waved her on. "C'mon." She threw more magic and he punched her, knocking her down. "You going to keep trying?"

"Hey!" someone shouted. "Don't hit women!"

"She's trying to kill us," Xander called. "Not the other way around, dude. Just walk away from the addict before she tries to kill you too." The guy was huffing over but Anya froze him in place. It held for a few minutes. It was enough because the guy ran off calling others. He looked at Chin, who reported in to their dispatcher that he was handling the addicted witch who was causing problems. That way no other officers got involved.

Xander looked at Willow again. "Nice try." She got up and had her resolve face on as she pulled up magic to hit him. Belinda blocked her magic and Xander walked over to hold her in place. She shrieked and wiggled but the magic was going to burn her up if she didn't release it. She released it against Xander but he just absorbed it. Willow burst out crying so he let Chin have her. "We can find a way to block her being able to call up magic," he told Chin.

"There's ways of blocking magic," Anya assured them. "I'd have to look up what I'd have to draw on her." She pulled out her phone to do that. "Shoot, out of minutes."

"You can look it up at the office," Chin told her. "She's going under arrest so you can use our office's wifi." Anya nodded, following him hauling Willow back to the office. Xander took his necklace back and put it back on. He quit glowing.

Belinda looked at him. "You might have a gift awakened now," she said quietly.

"As opposed to visions, which aren't a gift?" He shrugged. "Yay me."

"Fine." She stared at him, doing a testing spell. "You're a walking hellmouth right now, Xander."

"We can find a way to dump it or Anya can pull it to do a self healing spell."

"Point. Tell her I wish her luck with that." She disappeared to report that to D'Hoffryn and the other higher demons.

Xander strolled off, waving at the coven staring from their doorway. "Chin arrested her. I'm going to let Anya have the excess energy for a healing spell."

"We can help her with that," one of them said. "You're glowing, Xander."

He grimaced but nodded. "She tried awfully hard. If you want, talk to Anya." They nodded, calling her. He went to the office, staring at the ranting witch about how he had to have a soulmate and he was profaning her wish by not admitting it. He pulled off his shirt, waving a hand. "Do you see a mark?" She stared, blushing. "Really. Do you see a single mark?" She moaned, pointing at a small mark. "That's so they could focus the radiation there, Willow. It's a miniature tattoo. Not a soulmate marking that you started off." He put his shirt on the chair that no one was sitting in.

"Besides, the PTB made sure I didn't have one. The witches that let you loose knew that." She glared. He stared back. "They did. One of them tried to find them and got slapped down by Cordy's male counterpart. The balance demon that's the mouthpiece for the PTB. Also, they don't think I'm me. They still think I'm Jesse." He stared at her. "It was never going to work, Willow. There's no soulmate for some people." He shrugged. "And I'm happy enough without that. I mean it'd be nice but it'd mean that I'd have to make sure they could handle the hunting stuff since I'm one of the last ones. Thanks to the PTB."

He stared down at her, watching her sniffling. "You've really failed on the mission they sent you on," he said quietly. "They're arrogant little bitches who enabled your addiction and kept you in the junkie state until you were their weapon. How does that feel? You're actually the universal roadsign for magic addiction. You're a *verb*, Willow. An evil verb but still a verb and a warning to other witches."

She glared at him. "I'm fine the way I am."

"Would Tara say that?" he asked. "I only met her on the Astral Plane but she was a good, nice young woman. I'm happy you had someone so nice in your life. It sucks you threw her aside." Willow flinched but went back to glaring. "I'm sad I had to escort her off the astral plane so she could go to her eternity. Thankfully it looked happy."

A male voice cleared his throat. "The PTB sent her back to her body to correct some things," the male half-demon said.

Xander looked at him. "You're Doyle, Angel's seer buddy. Has Cordelia hit you yet for giving her that supposed gift?"

"No, but I deserve it. I didn't expect her to be activated, Harris." Xander quirked an eyebrow up. "Really. If I had known, I would've given that kiss ta Angel. That way his brain could've handled it. I'd hate the Princess to join us on the astral plane."

"She's their messenger, Doyle, so who sent you?" Xander asked him.

Doyle smiled. "Janus. Because he sees all. Including that the PTB took out the coven members who weren't going to toe the line by bringing her back. It drained them to the point where some will fade soon." Willow was shaking her head quickly, making whimpering noises. "Pulling Dawn was Janus prompted to give us someone protective we can work with when the big problems come."

"She said she thought about interning under a chaos sorcerer," Xander quipped.

Cordelia faded in. "Xander, I can hit him myself for giving me visions," she said. "You don't have to get all protective alpha on me." She looked at Doyle. "I should give them back." He grinned at her. "Whistler's hiding in a closet from the fit throwing going on." She looked at Xander. "Drain. That. Now."

"Anya needs a healing spell, she can use the magic Willow hit me with. I'm like a filter," he said with a slight shrug. "We can do that later."

"Uh-huh. The PTB hate Anya, Xander. She's an unbalancing note. She made you stronger."

Xander grinned. "They still think I was weak?"

"They went back and looked at your life. They thought you were always weak." She stared at him. Xander shook his head. "They don't get that. We pointed out that surviving all that took strength. They think you're as weak as a fainting little prim schoolmarm sort."

Xander snorted. "I came out stronger than that or I never would've survived."

"Don't tempt them," she warned. Then she smiled.

Xander pulled her closer with a grin, joining their hands. "Concentrate on that thought, create a what if universe, Cordy." She did that and then shrieked and hit him a few times. He laughed, smirking at her. "Do they still think I'm weak for surviving?"

She looked up then at him. "Whistler just had a panic attack about that what if uni. Good job, you're making higher ups swear again."

"Awww, I should go to the astral plane again to go show them in person."

Whistler appeared, shaking his head quickly. "Don't you dare! If you died that way, the world would've fallen or you would've been the physical walking embodiment of the hellmouth. Both of them would've destroyed humanity when the hellmouth wouldn't close."

"Well, then someone put me in the right place at the wrong time," Xander said dryly. "Them trying to fix it will just set off her three additional curses." He pointed at Willow, who was chanting something. Cordelia reached over and grabbed her by the hair, yanking on it, making Willow scream. "Thanks. I didn't want to live on pack principals. It's hard enough to find a date that's not a beta to me."

"They'd make you an omega, one of the rare male breeders," Whistler told him.

Xander grinned. "I don't mind receptive anal sex but the radiation and chemo killed all my fertility that the mermaid taint left," he said dryly. "And if I have kids, they'll be protected and great kids. A real credit to my myths." Whistler shuddered.

"They'd be huge anime geeks worse than the geek trio," Cordelia complained. "I'd have to come back as my own child to make them normal."

Xander grinned at her, hugging her. "If you want." He winked at her. She moaned, shaking her head. He looked at Whistler. "What else do they want since their weapon's going to be killed if she tries anything else? I saw what would've happened if I hadn't gotten sick and fixed things. Including the First Evil battle that Anya fell in. Which would've been next week."

Anya looked up from where she was researching, shaking her head. "I went into a battle?"

"In the hellmouth," he told her, nodding some. "Us, a few others, all the slayers that Willow had activated to fight the First Evil and then the invasion."

"Hell no," she said, scowling at Whistler. "That's a waste."

"You could become a new watcher," he offered. "It'd do good for everyone."

She sneered. "If I die from my boyfriend poisoning me, all my owed wishes and wealth goes to my ex boyfriend Xander Harris, because he can use it," she said, casting the oath charm. Tinkling bells went off. Xander looked up then at her. She shrugged. "What?" He grinned and kissed her. "You might absorb some," she complained, pushing at him.

"I'm immune to most poisons, Anya. They had to adjust the chemo because of the mermaid taint." She shuddered. He looked at Willow. "See what you started off?" She tried to get up but she was handcuffed to the seat. "Anya, take the energy I'm carrying for that healing spell before it's too late," he said quietly.

"Let me use it to bind her first."

"You need to be healthier," he reminded her. "Or it'll be a death curse."

She nodded. "It might take that." She came over to draw from Xander's store of energy to bind Willow from magic that wasn't defensive of the world or herself. Then she cast the healing spell, passing out during it. Cordelia and Doyle caught him but Xander still cast it. She was still unconscious. Steve was calling an ambulance. Xander was taking care of her, scowling at Whistler.

Who shrugged and held up his hands. "Not my doing," Whistler said. "The PTB aren't displeased but they know that she could be a good watcher for one of the future slayers. If any survive."

Xander stood up, staring at him. "Why wouldn't they?"

"I...I haven't been shown that."

"Are they going to start the First Evil off anyway? Because if so, they've got a hell of a fight coming. I will get off my death bed to stop that. Especially since it'd take the scythe, which is now sunk into the hellmouth." Whistler's eyes went wide and he looked up then at Xander. "They also took out a lot of the upcoming slayers, so they won't have the seven they'd need who're old enough to fight. Six toddlers, Buffy, Faith, and maybe two more that're young girls won't be good enough. Do they want to throw their chess game that much? If so, I can give them a better way."

"Please don't," Cordelia begged. "Please, Xander?"

He grinned at her then at Whistler. "So, what's their plan this time since they've apparently started their own losses? Can't bet on a dead world."

Whistler got a hard message, it made him wince. He looked up then at Xander. "You could go back and be killed."

Xander laughed, shaking his head. "Then I'd definitely come back as the walking embodiment of the hellmouth, Whistler." He took off his necklace, handing it to Cordelia, who shivered as she touched it. "I carry enough of the hellmouth's energy that it considers me a brother, Whistler." He put his arm around Whistler's neck, grinning at him. "Do we want that? I can do that right now if you really want me to. It won't hurt me any and might even heal some of the lesions I'll always have thanks to those tumors. It'd never hurt the ones it loves. It just wants us to be *special*."

Cordelia put the necklace on Anya's chest, letting her soak it in. She looked at Xander. Then at Whistler. "This is also stepping on those three curses, Whistler." She swallowed, looking at Xander. "They didn't plan for you."

"They should have. A trio is always more solid and stronger than a single operative. That's why so many spells start with 'by the power of three in this coven'."

"Only a quarter of the spells," Willow said quietly. She looked up. "Most of the rest are made for single casters but they're usually used in tragic events." She looked at her hands then at Cordelia. "Can I help heal Anya?"

"Please do!" she agreed with a point.

Willow was released from the chair to kneel beside Anya and heal her. It helped but not a lot. "There's a foul feeling stuff in her blood."

"Her boyfriend was poisoning her," Xander told her. "And himself as it happens."

Willow grimaced. "I don't know how to counter that. Will another type of healing spell work?" she asked, looking from Cordelia to Whistler. Who shook his head. "Why not?" she demanded. "It's magic, it can do that!"

"Magic is a tool, Rosenburg. Not a cure-all," Whistler told her. "It's a shame Anya will die to prove that to you."

"She doesn't have to die," Danny said. "Can he use those owed wishes?"

"Not until she's gone and they've passed over during the probate," Whistler said. "Unfortunately. It's so they can't bring back people or change history to keep them from dying. It's frowned upon." He looked up then at Xander. "If you give up the wish you gave her.... Or the one you used."

"The one I used was the price Hallie gave me to fix it," Xander said. "I vowed to become the messenger for whoever needed me to spout off things so I could fix the bad stuff going on in Sunnydale. The wish she gave Willow was my price for doing it. I expected her to wish away an apocalypse instead of keeping one going."

Whistler winced. "Yeah, we all wanted that stopped." Xander nodded. "You interfered with other things."

"Yup, it needed me to." He grinned slightly. "Though I'm still owed a wish because *someone* lost a bet." Whistler's eyes went wide. "And there's also the fact that I found out the US had people who used me as an experiment while I was down. No other way I would've gotten malaria," he finished dryly.

"Shit!" Cordelia said, hopping up to stare at him. "That bet was on you?"

"Yup, without consulting me I might add." He smirked a tiny bit, shrugging some too. "They thought I wouldn't flirt with someone. They're really not paying attention. That one wasn't bad in bed but not the best ever. He did give nice blowjobs though and really loved to squeal. Which is why I'm owed that wish. I heard someone saying something like 'if he doesn't end up on the bottom I'd give him unlimited wishes'." Cordelia stared at Whistler, who was staring up but wincing. "Wasn't I?"

"You were," Whistler said then cleared his throat. Doyle was laughing. "That was between D'Hoffryn and Janus. Not us." He looked at Doyle.

"Can you heal her?"

"Not sure," he admitted. "I'm trying but the poison's a bit too strong. If someone could filter it out it might help."

"I can try," Willow offered. "It might take out some blood though."

"Yeah, that would," Cordelia said. "All of it." Willow slumped.

"There's that thing," Xander said with a snap. "Willow, summon that sucky thing that tried to get your period?" She blushed but nodded, squinting as she concentrated. One showed up and she charmed it to attack Anya's blood to get the bad stuff out. The demon moaned but did that. Xander petted it. "That's Anyanka. You're doing her a great favor and we thank you," he said quietly. The demon stared up at him. He smiled back. "Her new boyfriend did it." The demon nodded, going back to sucking out the bad things and leaving most of the blood behind. He was still getting fed but not as fully as he'd like. The paramedics got there and one flinched away.

Cordelia looked over. "It's filtering her blood. Her boyfriend was poisoning them both."

"Okay. Is it nearly done and do we know what poison?" the other paramedic asked. "Will it be biting us too?"

Steve grabbed a set of gloves from their medical kit and some gauze, soaking up the drool the demon was letting out. "Here. He's filtering it." They tested it off to the side. The demon pulled back, panting. "Thank you," Steve said. The thing nodded and Willow sent it to a local healer she knew about. She got put back into the chair but more gently this time and Danny handcuffed one of her wrists to it. The paramedics got Anya loaded and to the hospital as fast as they could. The ER doctors hated the 'demon filtered some of the poison out' explanation but it had helped.

Xander ran a hand through his hair. "I need to go wait with her. She'll hate waking up alone." He looked at Whistler and Cordelia, then at Doyle. "So?"

"We're trying very hard not to step on those curses. We don't want to see people living on pack principles either, Harris." Xander nodded, then left them to it. Doyle sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "His anger is still greater than what most people think is possible."

"Always has been," Cordelia told him. "It's what kept him alive through the being out of his body time." She looked at Whistler. "Do we have orders?"

"Get him to give up that wish," Whistler admitted. "They're worried about what he'll ask for this time."

"Probably to get to the point where he can go back to work," Danny said sarcastically. "Since he needs to start again soon."

Cordelia nodded. "He'd never use it for self gratification. He knows it'd turn out wrong." She frowned, looking outside. "NID idiots. Shit, go help him!" she ordered with a point. Steve ran out to go help. Danny and Chin followed. She looked at Doyle. "Well?"

"To keep her from going off the deep end to destroy humanity."

"Anya bound her," Cordelia admitted.

"Good!" He looked at her. "Even Janus has had enough." He looked at Whistler, who shrugged but slumped down some. "Was that your boss?"

"I'd hope not or they'd have a revolt," Cordelia said dryly. "Plenty of us would go after the Oracles for that crap. I'd cheer like I was back in high school."

Doyle blinked at her, backing up a few steps. "Sure, Princess." She smirked. "They could send you back."

"Sure, go ahead. I'm bored half the time and haven't been able to shop in years." She flicked a hand in the air. "We can do that." She looked that way. "They'll have to rescue him." She held up the necklace she had plucked off Anya before she had been taken off. "We can probably track the hellmouth." Kono snatched the necklace to start that. Cordelia looked at Whistler, who was looking scared. "What? The Oracles or the PTB throwing fits?"

"They're playing what if and it's not pretty," he admitted. He took off his hat to rub over his head. "It's really not pretty but he's right, they're going to lose humanity. They took out too many people. We'll lose the next apocalypse."

"No we won't," Willow said. "Buffy can stop it."

"Buffy can't stop something the size of the invasion by herself," Doyle reminded her. "And she'd be mostly alone after the last few moves they made." He looked at Whistler. "Do we have a plan?"

"Buffy's owed a wish thanks to a poker debt," Willow said. "Not sure if she can call it in that way."

Dawn walked in shaking her head. "Buffy's got her head up her ass again. I told her about what had happened and she said you're an innocent girl who had someone controlling you." She looked at Cordelia. Then at Doyle. "So use some of mine?"

He took her hand, nodding. "It could make you fade," he warned.

She smiled. "I'm not that weak, Doyle." She concentrated, taking Cordelia's hand. "I'll need a fence." She looked at him again. "Go ahead."

He took her free hand and concentrated. Janus moved through him to help a few things. Hunters who had been killed before were just injured now. Xander was still captured but they'd find him sooner. Willow's binding was going to hold until the apocalypse. Anya was going to be in a coma for a while, no idea how her outcome would be. Dawn sighed as he let go, sitting down with Whistler's help. He tested her then nodded. Doyle smiled. "That's more powerful than we thought."

"Yes, it is," Cordelia said, looking at her. Dawn grinned at her but she looked exhausted. "You'll need a long nap."

"I know."

"You need to move near the new hellmouth to guard it. They're going to make you the guardian. If Xander does it, he'll end up having it open to cuddle him." Whistler shook his head quickly. "No?" she asked.

"No! It'll do the same thing to her. She can't be the guardian here. She can be a guardian of another one."

"As long as I can someday date and find a nice guy," Dawn quipped. "I'm good with that. Oh, and show Buffy all this as a slayer dream? That way she can't deny it?"

Cordelia nodded. "Yeah, that last part's doable," Doyle agreed. "A lot of chaos sources don't really get a lot of dating in."

"Yeah but I don't plan on doing magic for my living," she countered. "I plan on doing it when necessary and hiding it the rest of the time so I can get a real job and afford my own shopping." Whistler shot her a dirty look. "They did make me a Summers woman."

"Point," Cordelia agreed, looking her over. "Though you're falling down today."

"I'm making due. Not like they pulled my clothes when they let her pull me here. And Xander's mostly broke right now thanks to the treatments."

"He should've went on disability," Cordelia complained.

"He tried, they turned him down," Dawn said. "I saw some paperwork from when he found out it came back. So talk to the demon cocksuckers in charge."

"Someone should," Doyle said mildly, looking at Whistler, who grimaced but nodded he could look into it. "Especially if he gets too injured this time."

Kono leaned in. "They found him, they're getting help to raid there since there's military personnel."

"If only we had someone like that NCIS guy that helped him," Cordelia said.

"I don't know him so I can't summon him," Willow said.

"Or we can do a portal," Dawn quipped. She concentrated and opened one, getting up. "Hi," she said with a smile. "Needed these two. Sorry!" She yanked the younger one over and the growly older one stomped over. "Good!" She ended the portal. "Military people kidnaped Xander again. The SEAL guy is going after him."

Tony winced. "They're so stupid," he muttered. "Where?"

"Kono, would NCIS guys help?" Dawn called.

"Hell yes!" She came in to get them and take them where Xander was being held and used to get samples from. Before he irradiated everyone by getting mad.

Tony got out of the car first, holding up his badge. "NCIS." He smiled at Steve. "Fancy meeting you here." He stomped over after his boss. "Who are they?"

"Two military people, both Marines, one Army higher up we saw the other day after that one demon," Danny said. "He came with NID people then. Two geeks in lab coats trying to take samples. Xander just started to laugh."

"That's going to get messy," Tony decided.

"His necklace hiding the hellmouth taint is at the office," Steve warned.

"Sure, we can handle that. Boss?"

"We can go in," he agreed. Steve waved and their local rapid response team moved to get into the building. Gibbs walked in first. "NCIS and Hawaii PD," he announced. "Freeze and don't give me any shit, people." A few shot at them but the locals took them down. Tony and Steve got the guys around Xander and got him free, hauling him out with Danny's help. The jeeps showing up got stopped by local PD. One was there to help the rescue so they got let through when Steve agreed he had called the base for help with their people. Gibbs came out, saluting the base commander. "Sir."

"You're on the DC team," he said, frowning.

"We got called through a portal," Tony quipped with a grin. "Because they needed it."

"Good! Means less paperwork for me."

"But we'll need your jails, General," Tony said. "Hopefully they make it to their hearings." He hauled one out in cuffs to hand over. "Found two NID ID cards, boss. The higher up from the Army in there had one in his pocket with his picture on it. One of the geeks had Area 51 on theirs so they're related to the SGC."

"He knows about them and we met a few of their docs," Danny said. "Keller was out here after that demon battle too." He looked back at the sound of an engine. "Shit," he said, pulling Steve out of the way. Steve pivoted and shot at the pickup truck, hitting it with the others shooting. The windshield broke and they died. "Everyone good? Don't make me call the paramedics," Danny called. Two officers had been clipped by the truck but were getting up with help. He called that in to get a clean up team.

Steve walked over to look at the body. "Demon," he announced. He took a picture and sent it to Dawn's phone. She sent back what it was. "Hit demon. His kind are assassins." He searched him, finding the ring Dawn had noted. "He's part of an assassin's guild."

Tony frowned. "I thought those only happened in games."

"Apparently not. Dawn said they have human and demon members."

"Charming!" Tony quipped with a smile at them. "Just absolutely charming."

Xander walked out being helped by Gibbs. He stared at the demon then nodded. "Yeah, that's Taraka's sign. They'll never give up once the contract's placed. They still have one on Buffy but consider her too hard to get." He winced as he shrugged a tiny bit. "That sucks. Who are they after?"

"No info on him," Danny said.

Xander looked then pointed. "Phone." It was pulled out and looked over. They used the demon's paw to unlock the phone and Xander took it to look at. "Hmm. Well, I can't blame them since they're after the NID assholes." He handed it back with that form open. He took it back to look up his own name. "Awww, two of my ex's have one on hold pending me not healing so I'd have a heroic death. That's sweet." He handed over the phone again. "I need to go sit with Anya."

"You need the ER," Tony said firmly. "You can sit with Anya once you get stitches." He hauled Xander off so he could go with him to the ER. Xander was stubborn enough to talk his way out of it.

Steve and Danny shared a look then Danny let Gibbs have the phone. "I can't disagree with those sort going down," Danny said. "But not this way."

"I can agree with that," Gibbs said, walking off calling someone. Their name was on the contract so it was a fair thing to talk to them about it. They were horrified that they had captured Xander, again, but said the contract was put out in his name to pay them back for taking out his family, he hadn't set the contract himself. Gibbs agreed that it was a good idea but bad execution. The general agreed they could talk about it when he got back to DC in the morning. They'd be flying back with their prisoners once the paperwork was done at the local base. And possibly a few others from what the local base's commander was complaining about. Steve pulled up information on one base person who was in the local jails so he could come get him and deal with him too. The base commander called that in so his MP's could go get the idiot who had beaten his wife.

***

Xander took his necklace back from Dawn when she got to the ER. "Thanks. Anything else happen?"

"Not yet," she admitted, sitting next to him. "I checked, Anya's in a room upstairs so we can go hover over her."

"That's cool. She'd hate being hovered over but she'll hate waking up alone more." She nodded. "You good?"

"I'm fine. They're finding me a place to be a guardian of."

He nodded. "That's nice for you. School?"

"Probably. I am in those years." He grinned. The nurse came in to let him go and she went with him.

"Miss, we don't allow anyone under eighteen without parental permission," a nurse said.

Dawn smiled at her, casting a small compel spell. "It's fine." The nurse nodded and smiled as she walked off. Another nurse glared at her. She grinned back. "Really, it's okay." She went in there with Xander. "I'm sure she'll be fine, Xander."

"I'm more worried her boyfriend will show up to finish killing her," he said, sitting down. He patted himself down and then used his teeth to get the ER bracelet off his wrist. Dawn giggled but settled next to him.

A nurse came in. "Are you her family?" she asked patiently.

"She's my former almost wife," Xander said. "Her new boyfriend was the one poisoning her. So I'm going to be here until she wakes up."

The nurse looked at the file, nodding. "Okay, that explains a few things. There's a note on here that she was attacked by a demon?"

"No, a blood feeding and filtering demon got summoned to help suck some of the poison out," Dawn corrected with a smile. "It was handy since she was unconscious at the time and paramedics hadn't gotten there yet."

"Ah." She nodded, frowning as she made that note. "So why does she have traces of strange DNA in her blood?"

Xander took it to look at. "That one drooled but it wouldn't have mattered to her. That's....oh, that's a vampire bite. It's not real recent," he said, handing the file back. "Probably within two or three weeks. It won't turn her." He looked and pointed. "Those are recent bite marks." The nurse looked then made a note with a nod. "Anya's kind of a special case. She got a job as a vengeance demon but got fired a few years back."

"She was the one that abused spouses called on for justice," Dawn said quietly. "Though she's real blunt about some topics, like sex."

Xander nodded. "Yes she was."

The nurse looked at them. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." She pulled up Anya's page on the demon web, letting the nurse see it. "It even mentions the shitbag present ex, Xander."

"Well, maybe she'll heal and get him back for it and get her job back," he said. "She hated not being employed."

The nurse read over the file, taking the phone to show the other nurses. They paged up Anya's doctor so he could see it. The doctor frowned. "It's been a necessary job," he decided. "She was born human and is again. Just really ancient apparently. That weird DNA taint?"

"Vampire bite according to her ex."

He shook his head, going in there to talk to them. He recognized Xander from the doorway because he moaned. Xander grinned at him. "She was mine at one point in time. I can protect her in case the current problem ex shows up."

"I think that should be fine for a bit." He frowned. Dawn pointed. "Those are bite marks. I ignored those. The demon that attacked her?"

"No, we summoned it and asked it to help by filtering the poison out of her system," Dawn corrected with a smile. "She was unconscious and the paramedics were a bit slower than we wanted. It filtered it because it's a blood eater. Then we sent it to a healer to make sure it's fine."

"Do you often deal with such things?" the doctor asked her.

She nodded. "My sister's a hunter like Xander is."

"Ah." He nodded. "I recognized him. Are you healthy, Mr. Harris?"

"Just got out of the ER. NID wanted samples," he said dryly. "I was about to summon something to kill them for me. Because I'll be damned if they treat me like an experiment again."

The doctor nodded. "All right. Is she human?"

"Yes. Unless and until she gets her old job or a new job in the same group," Dawn said with a happy grin. "She'd probably really love her job back." Anya moaned. "Hey, Anya, it's me and Xander with the doctor," she said quietly, getting up to arrange the woman's hair for her. "There, now it's not on your face."

Anya blinked at her. "You're loud."

"It happens," Xander said with a smirk for her. "Sometimes it even helps." She scowled at him but he patted her on the wrist. "You're fine. We're watching over you."

"No. Go home. I hate being hovered over, Xander."

"We wanted to make sure the dick doesn't show up," Dawn said.

"If he does I'll scream. Xander's going to get sick again. He's still weak from all that nasty stuff."

"My immune system's mostly back online, Anya," Xander said. "I'll be fine." The doctor gave him a confused look. "The Army gave me brain cancer. Twice." The doctor shuddered. "Yeah, about my feeling too." He patted Anya's wrist again. "She helped me remove the second tumor when it couldn't be gotten surgically." Anya grimaced but nodded. "You did really good. No extra damage. I still only have lesions from them."

She smiled a tiny bit. "That's good. You'd be horrible if I had removed part of your brain with it."

"With where it was, I wouldn't have probably realized I was in a hospital bed drooling," Xander admitted.

"Could be." Anya looked at he doctor. "I'll probably be fine. The healing spell helped."

"The filtering demon helped too," Dawn said. "We told him thank you for you and sent him to a healer."

"That's sweet," Anya agreed. "But very strange."

"Willow's help," Xander said. Anya nodded, smiling some but plucking at the sheet over her. "It's fine, Anya. We're going to protect you as much as we can."

She looked at him. "You don't have to, Xander. I can do it."

He stared at her. "Would I do the same for Cordelia?"

"Point." She sighed, looking at the doctor. "He takes very good care of what was his. He's very overprotective." Xander grinned and nodded. "Though it's a bit smothering. And I won't get sex anytime soon."

"Nope. Not until you're better," Xander quipped. "It could wear you out too much with how you like it."

"No woman is meant to only have three orgasms a day, Xander. They should all have at least six or seven. Are you better enough yet to do that?"

"Probably four," he admitted. "I'm getting stronger again."

Anya pouted. "Only four?"

"Toys, sweetie," Dawn quipped, trying not to blush. "It'd help."

"That's true and they are fun," Anya agreed, smiling at her. "Someday you'll find that out."

"Maybe. Right now they're trying to figure out where I'm going to be guarding." She winked and crossed her legs, taking her phone back gently. "We can guard her for a while. Until she's stronger and can protect herself again."

The doctor nodded. "That should be a few days," he admitted. He looked at his patient then at her ex-boyfriend. "When we send her home, she'll have to rest."

"I remember doing a lot of that," he quipped with a grin. "That's up to her though."

Anya nodded. "I'm not meant to suffer with a plebian four orgasms a day," she agreed.

"You probably won't be awake enough to have sex for at least a week," the doctor told her.

Anya pouted at him. "That's nearly torture. I can't even masturbate? It does promote good sleep."

"If you're quiet about it," he said. She nodded, grinning at him. Xander kept her hand from moving. "Please wait until you're alone in your room," he told her. He looked at Xander. "Do you have a place she can rest?"

"Dawn's on the spare bed but she can take the couch so Anya can have the bed. I have a veggie garden I've been living out of until I can go back to work."

The doctor nodded. "That's good. We'll work on getting her back to where she can go hover at your house for her own protection." He walked off making notes on her chart. The nurses were worried but they had eavesdropped. It was weird but they had probably dealt with weirder things than a sex-starved former demon.

Xander looked at Anya, who smirked at him. He let go of her wrist. "We'll come back later tonight to check on you."

"That'd help. Thank you, Xander. And if you see my boyfriend, hit him with your truck?"

"If I can." She smiled and he left with Dawn.

Anya played with herself while she thought about the righteous vengeance she could get against her current boyfriend. It gave her happy, tingly thoughts that helped her go back to her nap. And maybe it'd get her the old job back sooner.

***

Dawn came in from the garden and flopped down next to Xander. "You can afford two hens, Xander."

"No I can't."

"Craigslist says you can get some for as little as five bucks each. Then some cheap fencing stuff and some bird food, which you'll get back in eggs. You can even sell the extra eggs if you want. Every six months or so you buy a rooster and let them screw to make baby chicks, which you can raise or sell, and then eat the rooster." He gave her an odd look. "That's how it's done. You could probably even get a milk goat."

"I've never had goat milk."

"I looked it up online. They don't take a lot of room, the nubian goats were bred to taste more like cow milk, and they can graze most of the year." She pulled out his phone to look it up again, letting him see that article. "I'm betting they can eat that bit of brambley area that you have."

"That's not my land. That's open land at the moment." He looked it over. "How expensive are goats?"

"They say about two hundred to get one, but they say to get two because they're pack animals, and get loud if they're lonely, and you can buy a baby or a bigger goat."

He considered it then shrugged. "Bit too expensive for me right now."

"I got the mail," she said, hopping up and jogging to the entry then back to hand him two letters with a grin. "I think those are yours and since they're in tear strip envelopes I'm betting they're not turn down letters." She cuddled up to his side again. He opened them and smiled at the two insurance policy checks. "Is that all you were expecting?"

"No, that's paying me back for an overpayment and the other's a minor thing for my old truck where I had to sell it before I moved out here." He looked down at her. "The rest of that prepaid insurance on it." She nodded. "But it will help me some."

"You know, you can raise bunnies too," she said, looking up at him. "Last night's rabbit stew wasn't bad. And there's wild pigs around here you can take down if they're a threat to you from what I've heard."

"I might look into those. Rabbits might be cheap. Even the super big bunnies that can get up to forty-five pounds each and meant to be eaten." She nodded, cuddling his arm. He hugged her back. "We can go deposit those later." She grinned up at him. "I do need to change some of the plants in the garden. It's time to renew the ground and plant again. This time, no turnips." She laughed. "I don't like them. And I have way too many carrots too. And onions."

"They grow easily," she reminded him. "They can go in a lot of things too." He nodded that was true, cuddling her better. "Bank's not open tomorrow," she said a few minutes later. They got up and Xander drove them to the bank, who was amazed he was him because they hadn't seen him in quite a while. Thankfully his old license wasn't expired and they could easily put them into his account with a five day hold to make sure they cleared.

He and Dawn went to look at the farmer's market nearest to the house to see what he wanted to plant and how much work it'd really take. They talked to someone about him starting a few chickens for eggs too. She was really helpful about how much things would cost and how much the eggs would save him. A dozen eggs in Hawaii was nearly three bucks on sale. Chicken feed was cheaper than that per egg. So they went home with some minor fencing stuff and three hens, and a rooster to keep out of the way most of the time.

He and Dawn set up the chicken fencing and he put the hay into nest areas for the hens. Dawn put out food for them once she was done with her part of the fencing. The hens got let out of the pet carrier box and were happy to eat and crap. Thankfully Xander knew how to use a shovel so that was good for his compost pile too. The next day they could pull the dead plants in the garden for the compost pile and work on the garden soil to make it better to grow things on. Maybe even stuff he'd like to eat.

***

Steve showed up a few weeks later and saw Xander chasing a chicken, working to drive it toward him. Xander finally caught it with a sigh and put it back into the enclosure and went back to putting up a more rigid fence. "That's handy."

Xander grinned. "It's very handy. Eggs taste like heaven when all you've had is veggies."

"I bet it would." He patted him on the arm. "I see three hens?"

"And a rooster," Xander said with a point at him. He was being macho in the shade at the moment. Dawn came out to feed the chickens and help with the fence. "Someday soon we'll have to build them a laying and napping box so they're safer. Something tore the old fence last night."

"I told him about the wild pigs," Dawn quipped with a grin for Steve. "And how they hunted them."

"I'm not sure if you can eat those or not," Steve admitted. "Pigs are expensive but handy to raise if you wanted to get one."

"Dawn tried to talk me into a goat for milk." Xander grinned at her then at him. "I had plans for my old farm but I have no idea about goats."

"They're handy and eat the grass," Dawn quipped.

"That site said they like certain types of grass but not everything," Xander admitted. "I'm not sure what I'm doing yet. That may wait until later, after we make sure that overpayment check clears."

"Overpayment?" Steve asked casually.

"I paid ahead on my old farm's insurance policy so they finally got that back to me," he said dryly. "And the one for my old truck since I had to sell it before I came out here."

"Ah." He nodded. "Hopefully that'll clear soon. We do have a Costco out here."

"That could help. Meat's cheap there," Dawn agreed. "You can buy hamburger by the big roll."

"I can," Xander agreed with a nod. "I still need to figure out what else I'm planting this year." She nodded. "The strawberry plants I found look nice and I'm hoping they transplanted well enough." He looked at them then at Steve. "I'm told most everything will grow. I bought a few corn plants, some strawberries, and some tomatoes."

"Cukes probably would go nicely and you can make your own pickles," Dawn said. "Vinegar's not that expensive and the spices probably aren't either."

"True," Xander agreed, nodding some. One of the chickens pecked at him. "Hey! Quit it, McNugget." Steve burst out laughing, going to look over the garden area. Xander followed him to tell him what the various plants were and got some suggestions about other vegetables that he might like. Including potatoes, which you could grow from your last crop for the next year. Xander saw a rabbit and shot it, grinning back at Dawn when she huffed but went to gather it and put it into the sink so he could clean it out for later cooking.

Steve went to tell Danny, who had some other suggestion for 'normal' veggies guys like Xander might understand better. Plus some suggestions about berry bushes. They'd grow well and make a nice boundary for the land. Plus would probably attract birds if he wanted to shoot pigeons to eat. Or he could buy squabs to raise, same thing really.

It was good that Xander was settling in again.

***

Xander was three feet from the police station that Danny and Steve worked in when the demon walked up to him looking apologetic. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly. "Huge problem?"

"There is a vision coming, Hunter."

"I'm the White Knight," he said. "Not the average hunter."

"We know." He took the bag from Xander. "We were warned to protect you while you had it. It is....bad. Then we can teach humans how to have a proper pack."

"I sidestepped that plot by not using a wish."

"It is not on you. Or the Redheaded One." He grinned. "It'll be fine."

"Is it starting?"

"The Powers That Be decided that they had weakened the wrong things. Humanity would fall and they would be out of their amusements." He grimaced as Xander started to have the vision. "Do not," he warned a human coming to help. "It is a vision. I was sent to warn him it was coming. Someone is playing with humanity and will cause problems." He heard Xander sigh and saw him relax. "Knight?" he asked quietly.

Xander blinked up at him, wiping off his cheeks. "I need to go out of my body to go beat the living fuck out of someone." The demon smiled and nodded. "Thank you for the warning and the guarding. I appreciate that service." He stood up with help, taking the bag back. "I'll warn others. Some may help me go beat them." The demon laughed but patted him on the arm before walking off. "Guys, leave him alone please," he ordered when an officer tried to stop him. "He was warned to come protect me while I had a vision. His people are peaceful warriors who protect others." The officer backed off. The demon nodded at him and ran for his car to drive off. Xander looked at the staring officers. "Someone's going to be setting off pack dynamics in humanity to strengthen them. They're so screwed up." He walked inside, nodding at the guarding officer. "I'm bringing something for McGarrett. He said to. I know he works around here somewhere."

"Up the hall. Is that a weapon?"

Xander looked in the bag, then showed him. "He wanted flaky pastry things." They let him go. Xander headed that way, rubbing his forehead. He nearly ran into an officer. "Sorry. Headache." He walked around him, finding Chin. "Hey, Steve said to bring flaky things?"

"Yup. Why do you look like you're having a migraine?"

Xander blinked at him. "Just had a vision. Someone's going to set off pack dynamics to strengthen humanity. Which is going to suck for the eighty percent that aren't going to be doing anything but whining about not being the tough ones. Or the breeders. Who can and will be including guys."

Chin winced. "That sounds bad. Let's go make notes on that. Maybe we can stop them." He walked Xander back to their offices.

"I think we should go out of our bodies to go find the PTB and beat the living fuck out of them. It might make them stop. This is their 'oops, backspace' moment about taking out all the hunters that were protecting humanity."

"Charming." He walked him into the office. "You wanted flaky things, Steve?"

"I was thinking about it but I didn't want to drive out."

"I got a text message," Xander said, frowning at his phone. "There it is." He let him see it.

"That's not my number, it's the office's number. Flaky things are always welcome though. Why do you look like you've got another tumor headache?"

"Vision. The PTB are about to start that alpha/beta/omega stuff to backspace where they weakened humanity by taking out all the hunters."

"Like fuck that'll go," Danny said from his desk. "I'd kill them myself because I'd end up being some sort of wimpy omega bitch. Half the islands already think I am thanks to Steven. Which I'm not, just next to him I'm saner and less macho."

"Who'd be able to have kids," Xander quipped with a grin for him.

"That won't fuckin' happen anyway, anyhow," he said firmly. "Can we go talk to 'em?"

"I can try to find them on the astral plane." Danny came out to get his croissant and went back to his desk to send out an email to the ones who knew Xander and had traveled that way. Xander looked at Steve. "They warned a demon warrior guard to come protect me while I had the vision outside."

"I'll thank him later," Steve said, nodding slightly. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just a headache. I've had plenty of those."

"What about women? Are we all going to die?" Kono asked.

"No. Gender is independent of all that. So female alphas would have an elongated clit to knot their omegas with. Not sure if they'd get the self-lubricating ability that you see in some stories or not. They'd just get the bitch in heat things to destroy our self esteem."

She blinked a few times. "Like hell! I don't want to ride anyone into a moment of screaming." Steve shot a glare at her. "I'd rather be the recipient, thanks," she finished sarcastically.

"This is going to screw up humanity in many weird ways," Steve said. "Can we go around it, Xander?"

"I thought I had by not letting anyone use the three wishes waiting on me. Otherwise Willow or Anya might've set it off."

"You need less evil bitches," Danny quipped. "You really do, kid."

"Yeah but I can only date those who like me. Otherwise it's illegal."

"Point," Steve agreed, nodding some. "Did you get a sense of when?" Xander shook his head. "Well be watching then."

"It'll definitely impact population growth," Chin said, considering it. "In the one story I ran into by accident, only the omegas could have kids. And they were about twenty percent of humanity. With about an equal number of alphas, who were the only fertile ones. So apparently they want us to go to a warrior like culture?"

"Probably," Xander agreed. "Since they're trying to replace all the hunters they had killed off." He grinned a tiny bit. "They seem to forget that even if they did that, not all alphas and omegas would be fertile. Plenty of us who are more alpha have gotten into things that would hinder that. Like demon taint for anyone who was a hunter. Most of us have gotten some somehow."

Steve considered it. "A lot of the ones in the military would have been exposed to something possibly," he agreed. "Or injured. So apparently they want humanity to die off. Huh. We really need to go stomp on them." He walked off biting into his croissant.

Xander grinned at Kono. "It would mean women could become stronger socially since so many could be alphas." She grinned. "So many matriarchs of families."

"Yeah, we have a few aunts like that," she agreed, nodding some. Chin nodded faster than she did.

"Even if they did like some of the stories had where the omegas had litters, that'd still take out a lot of humanity," Danny said. "Which would suck when they all died off in a few generations."

Steve looked at him then shook his head. "I don't even want to think about someone bearing a litter of kids."

"There's been some of those but they often have medical problems, and they're born early," Xander quipped. "I have no idea how to stop it outside of going to throw a fit about the stupid this time."

"We might have to, and I'll gladly accompany you when you do go to yell at the Powers That Be," Steve said. "Before I have to see if I have to bear a litter." He went to his office to tell others that the higher beings had plans again.

Xander looked up then shook his head. "Of the three wishes, that one's probably the worst choice to have activated."

"Aren't wishes open?" Kono asked him.

"Not always. These ones were given to me for things but they were primed with an automatic activation thing. So if we use it, it'll automatically set it off with the wish itself. Apparently they decided to activate the cost without the wish." He shrugged but grimaced. "I wonder what they'll replace the cost with this time."

"What's the cost of the other two?" Chin asked.

Xander winced. "One's going to activate with the cost of activating something like active mutations so we'd have X-Men from what I was told. The other one wasn't fully stated, just hinted at, and it'd set off a different form of pack thing. We'd still end up with alphas but without the omega birth curse. But it was hinted that we might also be forced into that sort of situation thanks to something like that tv show with the zombie apocalypse so we had to form communal packs again. Basically going back to the more Native lifestyle."

Chin shook his head quickly. "I'd hate to see that one happen."

"Technically, if it happens on the mainland, we'd probably be protected unless someone managed to slip in on a ship since they'd automatically quarantine the airports for diseased ones," Xander quipped with a grin. "So we'd have to set up some watched areas or someone like Steve would probably get sent over to help eliminate the threats going on while the rest of us just waited and watched it on the news as long as they were able to broadcast. Which would mean I'd really need to up my garden more."

Steve came out, staring at Xander. "Go take a nap."

Xander smiled at him. "I could use a nap. Need me for anything else? I can go find more flaky things."

"We'll find some and you need to go gather eggs."

"I already did that. Dawn left yesterday so it's a bit easier."

"What happened to Anya?" Kono asked.

Xander smirked a tiny bit. "She got her job back from her hospital bed. They were not amused at D'Hoffryn showing up in the middle of the evening med time. Kinda freaked the nurses out when they called to see what was going on. So she's back to torturing guys who sucked to their girlfriends and wives. She did leave me some things that she had in storage. Dawn thankfully took most of the sex toys since I wouldn't need them."

"I don't need to know," Kono assured him. "Really." She held up a hand. "It can't be that exciting."

"Depended on the day," Xander quipped but he grinned as he walked off. "After the prom I had to get people to rescue me before I passed out for good thanks to her orgasm needs."

Kono groaned. "Wow. I still don't need to know." She put her head on the desk, shaking it slowly. "So damn weird."

Steve came out of his office to pat her on the head. "With how demanding she was, he used to have amazing stamina. You could date him, make him see what normal women are like."

"Hell no!"

"The family would love him," Chin said, smirking at his cousin.

She looked at him. "He's probably bi. Go for it, Cuz."

"I'm not bi. Wouldn't work. But thanks."

Steve went back to his office to smile and send out more notes. Those Powers really needed to be beaten to death soon. Or penned up somewhere if you couldn't beat them to death. He'd happily donate some ugly vases he had in a back closet somewhere.

***

Xander walked into the demon bar, looking around. "Thank whoever sent the guard to help me earlier when I had the vision about the Powers That Be starting alpha and omega stuff in humans. Apparently that's how they want humans to finally die off since only about twenty percent could breed." He grinned at one older demon, who was groaning and gripping his glass as hard as he could. "I know that'd give you guys some fun times. Apparently they think you'd win instead of something nuclear." He shrugged but smiled. "And they thought I'd be an omega so apparently they still think I'm someone else." He grinned at another demon and winked. "Someone really should have them look at who I am instead of who they think I am."

Cordelia nodded from her seat. "Yes, they should, but they still haven't. They think it'd strengthen humanity."

"With only twenty percent being able to breed, it'd cut down on humanity so far that it'd take probably five generations before we were too few to keep going."

She considered it. "Yeah, that would. Damn it!"

He blew a kiss to her. "Yeah. That's my thought since they thought I'd be an omega. By the way, you might tell them that cancer treatments mean I'm infertile." She winced, slumping down. "Oh, and you can tell the others that Anya got her job back."

"Fuck, I don't want to deliver that message, Xander!"

"Sorry, Queen C." He walked over to kiss her on the cheek. She flinched like she had been hit by lightening. "If they set it off anyway, that means I get to use that wish without cost." He winked. "Let me go back to tending my garden. That way I have dinner. If I'm going to get that much sex, I need more energy." He strolled off.

Cordelia let out a subtle whine. "Oh, damn it." She faded out to tell Whistler what he had said, and let him go tell the PTB himself. She wanted to be out of the way of that fit they'd be throwing.

***

Dawn looked up from her new assigned spot, smiling at the ceiling and the yelling she could hear. "If you want and need more alpha level people back, you should bring back the hunters you killed off," she said quietly. "Before I have to do it." The others in the pub looked at her. She grinned. "Sorry, listening to a messenger demon complaining about their higher up's plans being stupid." She sipped her beer. The watcher there to meet her stomped over. She stared at him, making him flinch back. "Hey, how're you?"

"Summers," he said with a nod. "Which messenger?"

"Cordy and Whistler."

He slumped into a seat, staring at her. "The official Messengers?" She smiled and nodded. "Why now?"

"The PTB thought about the alpha/omega stuff to make humanity stronger. Apparently people pointed out the wrong points of that idea. They're not happy with their ideas being shoved up their butts with a huge dildo that even Anya couldn't use."

"Oh, dear."

"Oh, yeah." She grinned. "If they'd just bring back those hunters...." She finished her beer. "So I'm here to take control and watch over your artifact vault for you."

"Who sent you?"

"Whistler."

"Oh," he said, sounding weak. "Travers...." She burst out giggling. "Oh, dear."

"Since Willow summoned me from my home...." She smiled and patted him on the hand, showing him what her orders were. "Tough. Someone really should've had the suck it up talk with him by now."

"Yes, they should have but none of us want to hire an assassin."

"Well...." She shrugged. "Maybe the PTB want him gone enough."

"Maybe," he agreed. "Fine, I'll bring you back to tell them that."

"Sure. I've even got two things to go into it." She picked up her purse, patting both artifacts so they'd quite down and quit glowing again. He looked and moaned. She giggled. "Exactly." They drove back to the Council building. As soon as she walked in, all hell broke loose. Almost literally. The bad watchers were attacked. She was safe. The one with her was safe. The head people? Nope. She went to the vault and touched it, and suddenly all the demons disappeared. She looked up. "Don't use me that way. I'll have to tell Xander on you." She grimaced up. "Really. Much nicer ways of doing that. Including something like a flu epidemic." She opened the vault, walking in to put those two artifacts back in their places. "There, babies." She patted them and one other one that was trying to move. "Don't give me shit, I'll have you buried." It quit. She went to make up her new office area. And possibly apartment. No one had told her where she'd be bunking.

Upstairs, Whistler appeared to the rest of the Council. "We told you to do the right thing. Next time, listen. And leave Summers alone. We want her safely guarding the vault." He disappeared.

"What the bloody hell is going on!" one of them shouted.

The one that had escorted Dawn stood up. "What do you know of the young woman that Rosenburg summoned from her own realm?"

"Rosenburg's realm? I thought she was native," another complained. "It would explain a lot if she wasn't."

That watcher got a book from a nearby bookshelf and put it in front of him. "From Summers' realm. In that realm, someone created our slayer a sister to protect. Rosenburg summoned her to protect that world better. The PTB set her to guard our artifact vault."

"Well, that fucking sucks," the loud one complained. "Is she even trained?"

"She's a late teenager. Probably about to graduate high school or something. She is powerful and magical." They moaned. "She helped with the problems in Hawaii recently."

"That brunette witch?" another one asked. "I saw her on the teleplay." The one that had escorted Dawn nodded. "Well, that's interesting. How powerful?"

"She had access to a powerful artifact on her realm."

"Oh, dear. Their Rosenburg?"

"No idea," he admitted, grimacing while licking his lips. "Absolutely no idea and I didn't ask her. Though I know that Whistler appointed her and told me to go escort her here. So apparently that was them taking out problem beings. Oh, and she said that the Powers wanted to restructure humanity so we'd be breeding less but be tougher overall. That totally irrational thread online about wolf packs of people was going to be started off. She heard them complaining and told them to suck it up and to bring back the hunters they had killed off instead before she helped come up there."

"Could she?"

"Yes," he assured him. "Yes she can. She was holding two artifacts that are scarily powerful and dangerous. She was petting them like they were purse dogs."

"Oh, dear," a few muttered.

"She's by the vault, it all stopped when she logged into the vault. I have no idea what's going on otherwise." He walked off. "I'm going to get a rather large tumbler of cheap whiskey."

The others decided to settle things so the Council would go on. Before the Powers sent more teenagers to take over for them.

***

Xander heard what happened and burst out giggling as he walked into the Wicca tea shop that had helped him. "Oh, my god," he said, leaning on the head of the coven. "Whistler decided Dawn can take over the artifact vault for the Council. The Council got halfway taken out for their bad ideas. And they decided to fix things before the PTB sent *more* teenagers to handle things for them." He grinned at her. "And there's sixteen waiting on it upcountry. They're already trying to court Dawn to get her on their side." He smiled and giggled a bit more. "Two of them have hit on her and she's turned them down. One's decided she's just an ally, and she's already kicked their butts and picked out the hunters she wants to help her with things." She smiled and patted him until he got off her. "Including six witches from the US, including your niece."

She burst out laughing. "I can't see those stuffy British people putting up with my very culture oriented niece."

"Half of them are like celebutantes, but hiding some brains." He grinned at her. "She nominated a female hunter who's a braindead slut to be in charge. Hiener, Shirley Hiener?"

She burst out giggling. "I've heard rumors about her!" she agreed. Xander grinned and nodded. "Oh, dear." She went to tell the others.

"Xander, are you in for tea?" one of the younger witches called.

"I'm actually in to hand over new contact information. They made me switch my phone and wouldn't keep my number." He handed over the hand-printed card. "We're trying to avoid the PTB's plan to set off alpha and omega people."

"If they should, we'd gladly go to war with them," the head witch said.

Xander grinned. "Sent me a vision right outside the station. Someone sent a guard to make sure I was fine while I had it. Dawn suggested they just bring the hunters back that they killed off."

The witches stared at him. "What about the rest of us?"

"Forty percent of the population would be alphas or omegas, and the only ones able to breed," Xander quipped, then grinned at the very pregnant witch. Who was holding her stomach. "We need to check the baby?"

"Yeah, we need to sense the baby right now," she said, dragging a few of her sister witches off.

Xander nodded at the staring witches. "The vision showed me her kid being one of the first. So maybe heavily working on something?"

"If we can go against the PTB, we'd adore that," the head of the coven agreed.

"I'm going to tell the Chaos Knights next." He grinned. "Because I saw her son being an omega breeder with Knight Elory's son. The younger one that's about five."

"Frick no," the head of the coven said, staring at him. "Go warn them?" He handed over a copy of the vision. "Any other cheery news?"

"Anya got her job back."

"Wonderful for her," she agreed, smiling at him. "Go tell them. Maybe they can help us do something?"

"I hope so. The PTB thought I'd be an omega." They all laughed. He grinned and nodded. "Yeah. They still think I'm someone else." He left, going to where the chaos sorcerer was going to be waiting on him. "Hidey ho, neighbor," he quipped as he walked up to him.

Knight Elory, who was a stunning looking, dark skinned Samoan man, even without his illusion, stared at him oddly. "Harris?"

"Vision," he said, holding up the copy of it. "PTB starting off shit to destroy humanity."

He took it to read, frowning. "What the fuck?" he demanded, looking up. "That's my son."

"And Witch Mina's new son she's presently pregnant with." He grinned. "They still think I'm an omega too."

"Not a chance from what we've seen." He blinked at him. "When did you have this?"

"Parts of it a few days ago. I've had three addendums to it since then. Also, Dawn's got the Council's vault locked down. Whistler assigned her there."

"Oh...Summers' sister that Rosenburg pulled?" Xander grinned and nodded. "Oh, dear." He went back to reading it. "We need to do something."

"They're checking on Mina's baby today. She's about two months from popping."

"I...I'll bring this to the others."

"Some of us wanted to go back to the Astral plane to see if we could go beat the living fuck out of them for this. We didn't even use the wish that was going to be attached to that problem." The chaos sorcerer stared at him oddly. "I have three wishes owed to me but they were all mined with powerful costs attached. This was one of them."

"Fuck that," he decided. "I'll let the others know. We'll check on Witch Mina's daughter ourselves."

"Son," Xander corrected with a grin. "Any omega can breed. Even the boy ones." He gave him a pointed look. "But it does mean your younger son's going to be pretty alpha."

"I'll get him self defense lessons immediately." He walked off calling the others to tell them what had been said. He showed up at the meeting, handing the notes over. "Harris had a few visions. The PTB are cranked. Witch Mina is apparently also having a son."

"Male pregnancies, interesting tactic," one of them complained. He took it to read, groaning. "Oh, damn it!"

"Dawn Summers has the Council's artifact vault. She suggested that they just bring back the hunters they killed off instead."

The Chaos Knights could handle some warping of humanity for the good of everyone. And a blessing on Witch Mina's son so he was a normal, healthy boy with gifts. And no ability to breed.

***

Xander showed up at the chaos sorcerer's meeting that night with some vegetable soup and homemade bread, putting it on the middle of the altar. He bowed to the statues on it then stepped back. He looked at the staring the staring chaos people. "I'm owed three wishes. Since they've activated the cost of that one wish it may be nearly free. We figured out when we were resetting things to earlier." He grinned. "We need to reset humanity to the point it was, without any cost of bringing back souls wrong or the First Evil, to July 17th, 1999. That's when they killed off the first hunter.

"If it sets off the First Evil prophecies, we'll need seven slayers." A few shuddered. "And it'd come out of the seal, which is on the Sunnydale hellmouth's area." He smiled. "If they can be wished back to the same *physical* point, then we might all be safe." He pointed at the food. "That's to amuse Janus because apparently I'm giving him a headache. Ethan Rayne told me I was and it's not even my fault. Plus, maybe he'll let me get fully better and I can start working again." He walked off. "Let me know if you need my owed wish."

They stared at the source of chaos then one of them tasted the soup. The pot was half empty thanks to some being taking a meal from it but that was good for them. The rest of them got some soup and bread and settled in to discuss how to do that plan instead. Theirs hadn't been all that concrete. One did send an email to Ethan Rayne for the idea they needed. Using the Conduit was a brilliant idea to power their Gods.


TBC....sometime.
Chapter End Notes:
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