Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup
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Darcy strolled into NCIS a few days later, going up to the office with her temporary pass. "Hola, my temporary boss. What's up? What did you need me to handle?"

He stared at her. "General fussing, make sure I hear any problems because I haven't been. Also, can you do secretarial things?"

"Yeah. I do for Jane." She smiled, taking off her messenger bag to put into a chair. "That all?"

"Can you handle looking at a budget? It's messed up somewhere."

"I can sure try." He handed it over, and it was a huge mess. "Is that all of it?"

"So far."

"Is this able to be written on?"

"Those are copies I've been using to try to figure out where it's wrong."

"Okay, let me at it after making a round." She put it onto the desk with her bag, going to start with someone she knew from the clubs and her undergrad. The woman had taken a few updating classes she was in for her degree and they had spent a lot of fun time clubbing in the normal clubs. She looked at her buddy from the doorway and sighed out loud.

"Girlfriend, you are a cause of depression." Abby flinched but turned to stare at her. She grinned. "Surprise, your director stole me for a few weeks to fill in for his Girl Friday while she's off on a cruise and moving and stuff." She came over to give her a hug. "What's happened? You look upset. Even your hair looks limp."

"I can't wear the pigtails. They're not professional."

"Bull shit!" Darcy said in a sing-song voice then grinned. "I hate to tell them this, but you're not interacting with the public. As long as you're wearing clothes, no one can tell you not to have pigtails. That's a personal choice and they can't regulate the hairstyle you choose." She stared at her. "Turn around, Baby Vampy." Abby did and she french braided her hair.

"You show me those sticks-in-the-tar. We'll have a talk about professional behavior." Abby giggled. "Seriously! I'm here for five weeks." She finished the french braid by wrapping some hair she had saved out around to tie it off. "There. A bit of hair pulling to make you happy." She hugged her from behind. "We'll figure it out. You don't see too many people and they have to expect you to be unique since you're the only one doing all this work."

Someone stomped in. "Who're you?" he demanded.

Darcy turned and glared at him. "I'm the director's temp secretary and Abby's a dear friend. Who in the fuck are you?"

He sneered at her outfit. "Not very professional." She hit him with the whip on her wrist, making him yelp. "How dare you!"

"Shut the fuck up, idiot." Darcy walked closer. "You're trying to make people bend to some idiotic rule that never was one so you feel like you're surrounded by your own kind." She walked around him. "Your clothes are so uptight and ill fitting it must be to make you suffer. Are you a masochist?" He spluttered and tried to hit her so she got him again with the whip, making him scream. "Hmm, weak. Very weak. Clearly NCIS is full of the clones that the FBI didn't want. You prove that." She stared at him. "Shoo. Now. Before I make you love your new spot at my heel." He ran off. She looked at Abby. "Him?"

"And a few others. They're from Sheppard's reign."

"Talk about a failed woman and she hated that women got places with more than their wits. Probably because she couldn't." She grinned, handing Abby the whip. "Here, you can borrow that. I have another one at hand." She winked and strolled off, going to the morgue, kissing Ducky on the cheek. "Because you look like the uptight brigade got to you too." He moaned, staring at her. She grinned. "I'm temping for five weeks, Ducky. Need anything from the higher offices?"

"No, Darcy, not in the least. It's good to see you in a regular job."

"Jane's in hiding thanks to her newest science binging." She shrugged but grinned. "Let the baby man and the other canoes of douchedom suffer if I get them?"

"Gladly, my dear. Gladly. Do have fun and watch out for Gibbs."

She stared at him. "I heard." She strolled off again. Very casual, very unconcerned. She went back to her desk to start on the budgetary mess. And it was a huge mess. Everything was in code. There were odd amounts. One was for a simple twenty-five-dollars. She found a highlighter and a pad of paper. Because that amount wasn't listed in the actual spending reports. She looked up as someone walked up to her desk. "Hey. Huge problems?"

"I wanted to thank you for helping Abby," he said quietly, trying to stare at her. "She needed the boost today."

"Of course I would. I loved palling around with Abby during some of our mutual classes at Culver." She stared at him then stood up to tip his chin up. "How old is that concussion?"

He got free. "Few days."

"Your eyes are dilated differently. Are you still dizzy?" He grimaced. "Tell me you didn't drive like that, DiNozzo?"

"Not like cabs will bring me all the way here. If they did it'd be super expensive on a CEO's salary scale." He grimaced. "How did you know me?"

"Do you think Abby didn't talk about you?" She stared at him. "If your concussion is still affecting you that much you shouldn't be in a car to drive it. You shouldn't be in the field before you die of it or you get hit again and end up with boxer's trauma."

He winced. "I've been seen for that."

"Uh-huh. Go sit your playboy ass down and don't move before I tell Ducky."

"He cleared me."

"Bullfucking shit he would." She called down there. "Ducky, Darcy. DiNozzo can't see straight. He drove. His concussion's only two days old." She looked at the phone then put it back against her ear. "And that doesn't worry you, Dr. Mallard?" He hung up and showed up a minute later from the elevator. "He can't focus, Ducky."

"I'm fine. I've been in the field like this before, Miss Lewis."

"Watch me handcuff you to a chair for your safety and the safety of others. I don't want my new car to be hit by you."

Ducky tested his vision, shaking his head. "No, you're not fit for the field but you were better earlier."

Darcy stared at him. "I'm guessing there's a cause thanks to assault?"

Tony winced, getting away from Ducky. "I'm fine, really, Miss Lewis."

She smirked. "That's assault." He slumped. "You're his abused kid. Is that *really* okay with you?"


"Then take your playboy ass to the ER to get checked over and get actual field clearance." She smiled. "Before I have to get my boss to come nag. Dr. Foster is *excellent* when she wants to be and you're about to go down to brain damage that can't be fought off. Are you really ready to retire right now?"

"No," he admitted.

"Then go to the ER, get real clearance, and if the abusive dad has a hissy, let me know."

Tony blushed. "You're not usual."

She smiled. "Thank you! I put up with weird geeks all the time." He shuddered but Ducky walked him off. She listened.

"DiNozzo, what's wrong with you now?" a male voice complained.

She walked out there, staring down at the idiot Marine. Who had just hit Tony. "McGee, arrest your supervisory agent for assault with intent to cause fatal harm," she said, staring at him. "Because with his concussion, you could kill him." Gibbs flinched back, shaking his head. "Yeah, you, abuser. Now, Ducky." He walked Tony off, who was holding his head. She walked down there. "Did it not occur to you that hitting someone with a concussion, especially a fresh one, could kill them?" she demanded.

"Who're you?"

"The temp assistant and the one who's apparently not afraid of your growl." He glared. She slapped him. "Do you like it when it happens to you? I can keep doing it the same way you did to him. Right now, he's gotta worry about brain damage from you and all the concussions he's had thanks to you." Gibbs stepped back shaking his head again.

"And then you assaulted him on a fresh concussion so it could've snapped his skull. Or broken an aneurism. Or caused even more brain damage that he's already showing." She stared at him. "If he's so used to it that he can drive in that state, he's ready to be a note in some neurologist's study on degenerative trauma." He sat down.

"Do not make me report your ass for the assaults you keep doing because no one taught you how to handle a team without abuse. And by the way, quit nagging Abby about how not adult she was. She's happy; that's more important than your uptight shit." She stared him down. Someone tried to grab her so she tazed them. She looked at him. "No thank you."

She looked at Gibbs again. "I hope like hell you find a therapist. You clearly need one to deal with the abusive ideology you're using on your people." She stared him down. "Remember, your actions means that everyone you've assaulted with intent to harm, because that's what you're doing by legal codes, can sue the agency. Who do you think is going to be hung for it?" She walked over the guard and went back upstairs. Gibbs tried to grab her arm and he got zapped too, making him yelp. She stared at him.

"Really?" He tried to grab her again so he pulled out the hidden whip and got him with it on the chest, making him yell and fall down. "Now, do you still have a problem here, abuser? Because I can make sure you don't." She smiled. "I'm not the happy fairy at the moment." She went back to her desk to get back to work. The director came to his door to stare at her. "DiNozzo is on his way to the ER to get real clearance from someone he can't talk into it. He's able to drive on a two-day-old concussion."

He grimaced. "That's a problem," he agreed. "Did you hit him?"

"Zapped." She grinned. "Then he tried again so I pulled out my favorite whip." She petted it with a grin.

"I figured you'd use more tact."

"I have no tact with abusers."

"Good. I like that. Any idea?" He waved at the papers.

"Yeah, a few things. There's non matching entries. And some stupid ones. A full agency had to account for twenty-five dollars?" She showed him when he grimaced. "And this doesn't match anywhere else."

"Crap. What did she do?"

"No clue," she admitted with a shrug. "Seriously, I'm making a list of what doesn't show up and how much it's for." She let him see it. "None of them are bank breaking. But I'm only on the second page."

"Let me know when you finish it." He went back to his office scowling.

She got back to work until a young woman showed up to stare at her. "Hey, can you help the crying agent in the women's bathroom? She won't talk to one of us."

"I can try. Is she injured?"

"We don't know. She's locked in the stall."

"Okay." She locked things into the desk then went with her. She knocked before walking into the bathroom. "Hey, I got told you were in here crying. Would you like to talk?"

"Not really," the woman sniffled.

Darcy considered it. "If it's just a stress cry, I'm okay with that. But I'd hate to not meet you because you're hiding."

The woman came out to stare at her. "Who're you?"

"Darcy Lewis. I'm the temp for the director and I met Abby in some classes we shared." She looked her over. "What's hurt? You're not standing straight."

"I..." She shook her head, taking a paper towel to blow her nose. "I'll be okay."

Darcy nodded. "Are you sure? I can listen. You scared someone."

"I..." She tried not to start to cry again but had to hold her stomach. "I... this isn't good."

Darcy caught a clue when she saw the blood. "Is this usual? I have a few tampons and pads in my bag if you need one. If not, can I subtly get someone to take you to the ER?"

"I don't want to cause a scene," she said, staring at her. "No one knows." She winced and held her stomach.

"Okay, I can work with that. I can tell your supervisor after I have someone supposedly take you home but to the ER. We can call it food poisoning." The woman stared at her, tearing up again. "Hey, it's one of the worst things we can go through in our lives short of cancer." She gave her a hug, letting her cry on her. "Let me get someone decent. Just sit there." She frowned, going back to Gibbs' area, staring at McGee. "I need you to take someone *home*. She's *sick*." He nodded, grabbing his keys. She took him back to the bathroom and let him help her lift the young woman to her feet. "Right to an ER," she said quietly. "She's mid miscarriage. She doesn't want it spread around. Which section is hers?"

"That blond guy standing up when we came in. Two desks to the right," McGee said. "C'mon, we'll hit the Women's ER. It's only another six blocks and they've got to get to the point faster there for you." He walked her out, making sure she could walk. Darcy patted the agent that had gotten her on the way to that desk. "The supervising agent?" she asked quietly. "May we speak in private so I can tell you what's going on?"

"Please. Why did McGee walk her off?"

She pointed at the stairwell, taking him out there and checking for people. She stared at him. "She's in the middle of miscarrying."

"She was what!" he shouted. Darcy stared at him so he calmed down. "I didn't know," he said.

"She said that. Some women won't tell anyone until it's certain it's going to continue. Like the lady that started gender reveal parties because she had a bunch of miscarriages and finally had one that went long enough to have a gender." He slumped but nodded. "I have no idea if this is the first or not. We didn't ask and she didn't share. I had McGee take her supposedly home and the cover story is that she's got food poisoning." Abby walked up the stairs. "You take the stairs in those heels?"

"Elevator's stuck," she said with a grimace. She looked at the other team leader. "Is Felicia not okay?"

"No. She's got food poisoning so McGee is bringing her home."

"That poor lady. Food poisoning sucks and throwing up into our toilets is gross since they don't clean them often enough. The director?"

"Was scowling at the budget."

"Okay." She grinned at the senior agent. "Have a better day. Felicia should be back in a few days. I know you lean on her." She went up to the top office.

Darcy looked at him. "You need to talk to her," she said quietly.

"Yeah, I do. Not today. She'll need some grieving time." He rubbed over his face. "Thank you. Who are you?"

"Darcy Lewis. I'm the temp because I'm used to dealing with geeks."

"That's great. Thank you." He went back to his desk to fill out leave forms for his agent. He handed them to Darcy, who smiled and nodded.

Gibbs got in her way. "What is going on?"

"She was sick. He took her home in a compassionate move for a coworker." She stared at him. "She has the right to privacy," she noted quietly. "Office gossip included." Gibbs grimaced but nodded. She went back upstairs to hand in the paperwork. The director stared at her. "Like Amanda last year."

"Oh, dear."

"McGee's taking her."

"Good. He's good at it. He's compassionate and has empathy." He signed off so she went to deliver it to the senior agent. Then she came back to the budget mess.

She ended up making a new chart with each entry from each list. She used a highlighter color for the ones that didn't match, then different colors for ones that were missing on either list. She finally brought it in after lunch, handing it over and going to the bathroom then coming out to get coffee. "It's not blatant embezzlement."

"That's good." He went back to looking it over. "What are these?"

"That's the codes on the sheets."

"I can't find a code sheet."

She nodded so he let her at the computer, finding a partial list. "We have twenty items." She let him see it.

"That makes no sense," he muttered, staring at it. "All of these are under the amount any group would use."

"Unless she put in a category for copy paper?" She pointed. "That's about a case of paper. But you'd probably use one of those a month or so."

"Probably," he agreed, looking at that. "Why did something in the budget only cost twenty-five bucks." She turned the page to point at something. "Twelve. Uh-huh. Anything that looks like it might be part of a normal budget?"

She flipped to the fourth page. "Purple means it was on the printout but not the budget forms. I put the key on the last page. We're starting here in the might be part of a team's budget by themselves areas. This one could probably handle a three well paid or eight poorly paid person team." She pointed. "The bigger ticket items are in the back but none of them are in the millions, Director. Could that be a breakdown of team expenses instead?"

"Well, one is listed as GBS so that may be Gibbs' team but I doubt he caused *that* much damage." He frowned. "She handed this to Congress and they apparently understood it." He looked up. "It came back from them."

"Ask Charlie and Dwight both if they have a document of interpretation? Charlie works in one area but Dwight handles it for the FBI."

"I didn't think about that. Thank you, Darcy. Go have some lunch." She nodded, going to use the snack machines.

The director made those calls. Charlie had no idea, that's why they had sent them to him. Dwight had a good idea and faxed over a few pages that would probably help. Darcy's guess wasn't far off so it made a *tiny* bit of sense now. "So twelve-fifty was for her pens. Great!" He shook his head with a sigh, staring at the mess. "I need to make out a real budget like a real director." Someone tapped so he looked up. "DiNozzo. Back from the doctor?"

"Yeah." He handed over the note. "I'm not field cleared."

"As I thought. The concussion's only two days old." He scanned that and stared at him. "She suggested Jethro go to therapy for his anger and abuse issues." Tony rolled his eyes. "She's right. I can have him arrested for that, DiNozzo. Especially with how often you've had head injuries. I was waiting on you to complain, or someone to file a complaint about that assault." He stared at him. "Anything else I should hear?"

"I shouldn't ever get another one," he said, sitting down.

"Well, I can send you back to a ship. That way you'd never get another one again."

"No thanks. I hate being on a boat, Director. I get sea sick for the first few weeks until my ears give up. And I doubt the new concussion damage will help that any."

"That's a good point. Are they saying you'll have to retire soon?"

"The word should came into that sentence," he admitted, staring at him. "She's really mean."

He smiled. "Exactly. That's why I call on her to temp. That and this is more normal than the geeks she's an unpaid intern for usually." He leaned his hands on his desk and leaned forward. "What do you want to do?"

"Right now I want the headache to quit," he admitted. "A lot."

"You can have today off."

"I don't have any leave time, Vance." He shifted to look out there. Darcy carried in a mug for him. "I'm not supposed to have caffeine."

"It's tea." She smiled. "With pain reducing properties. For less stress too." She hugged him around the head. "Abby would miss you a lot. She wrote me weekly something about you, Tony." She went back to her desk. "Oh Emm Gee, Vance. The VP is on his way in," she called. "Being a prick as usual."

"Great. Thanks for the warning. ETA?"

"Just got a message from the gate."

Tony got up to go look outside. "VP in route," he called. Everyone suddenly looked busy and nowhere near the office. He went back to it. "So I guess I'm desk bound for at least a week?"

"It says two."

"I hate desk duty."

"Yeah, yay." He stared at him with a grin. "Don't make me hire a dominatrix to run Gibbs' team." Tony shuddered, shaking his head as he walked out. "Darcy, go inform Gibbs that DiNozzo is grounded for two weeks."

"Yup." She went to do that, staring at Gibbs. "Director's orders say that the playboy is grounded to the office for at least two weeks. He promised to bring in a friend of mine who's a domme to help you as well." She grinned.

"I can keep him in the office for two weeks," he said, staring at her. "Who are you?"

"Darcy Lewis." She beamed. "If you're running into a block while trying to do a background check, talk to SHIELD."

"You're an agent?"

"No, I'm a geek intern." She grinned. "He's nicely letting me earn a paycheck since my bosses don't." She walked off, taking forms from the other areas that needed to be passed up. "I'm bringing him work so he can swear at people without them hearing." They handed over files and she smiled. "Thanks." She went back upstairs, handing the director the folders. "From the floor." She went back to her desk.

The Vice President stared out at her. "Was that necessary? It could have been classified, young lady."

She grinned. "I have a rating of 13, sir. Because I work in Stark's labs." He shuddered. "And yes, it was. That way he can mutter at them instead of swearing at the problems that went on this morning." She stared at him until he looked away. Then she went back to reformatting how to do a real budget for him. She checked the computer and found the code sheet Cynthia had made but couldn't get into it. It had a password. So she made note for the director to get into it. Then she got back to the paperwork.

"Do I know you?" the VP asked as he stomped out.

She looked up at him, then nodded. "Yes. You met me when you were trying to ignore that Jane Foster is a woman during that awards ceremony. I'm her assistant usually but she's in hiding due to death treats." He flinched back away from her. She smiled. "Otherwise, I know your cousin. Brad is not all that well wound but he has nice manners when he's the one that runs into you. Literally while we were both at Culver."

"Oh." He grimaced. "Where is Dr. Foster?"

"Hiding. Her newest science binge came up with something that made people swear and send death threats when they only heard it might be possible to do. Like the ones Stark got about the arc reactor being used for alternative energy, some people are keeping the status quo in their fists because it makes them money." He huffed but stomped off. The agents with him nodded at her. She grinned and waved. "Laters, boys. Let me know next time if I have to make coffee or get you guys snacks." Director Vance came to his door to stare at her. "They never get any perks for the mentally annoying duty and I doubt he lets them have a lunch break."

"Probably not."

"I found Cynthia's code sheet but it's password locked." He stared at her oddly. "Do you want me to hack it? Or do you have an override?"

"Hack it. I know she's not doing anything wrong." She nodded. "Then change her password so she doesn't lose it for being out for so long." She pulled out the keyboard drawer to get into the computer. She finally got to print that and changed the password for the usual secretary. She'd leave her a note in her drawer. She found the other budget articles and printed them for him. He sighed in pleasure at that and her outline of the new one. "Thank you, Darcy. Did you tell Gibbs I was going to bring in Belinda?"

"I didn't name one specifically but I was thinking Maggs. She's CIA and wanted to get away from the boys club before she had to put on a dick to show them up. And that was a quote." She went back to her desk.

Vance smiled. Maggs was an interesting agent who had handled a lot of problems given to her. She'd fit in very well around here so he'd try to poach later. Just as soon as he found out if he could afford to pay agents.


Darcy was in the club that night when Brock came in. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek when he stopped next to her. "Evening."

"Aren't you working with Vance right now?"

"I am. But I'm still on here for my yearly dues." She grinned. "It'll make sure I have some extra this year for a small plan I have in the back of my brain."

"Ah." He nodded. "Anyone interesting in tonight?"

"Not yet." She looked around. "Well, Herb snuck in while I was reading, but otherwise, not really." Herb snickered from his seat.

Brock shook his head. "There's supposed to be someone interesting in tonight."

"We have the music later tonight." She smiled.

"That could be what I was told about." He stared at her. "What sort of plan?"

"I was thinking I should have somewhere better to store David's cars."

"House hunting?"

"I was thinking maybe farm. Somewhere a bit nice but not a city house."

"Suburbs were created for that need."

She smiled. "With a lot of nosy women."

"Point. And HOA's." He shrugged. "Let me know if you want advice."

"Of course." She waved a hand at the bartender. "When is the music tonight?"

"Two hours." He nodded at Brock. "She's supposed to be fantastic."

"Good. I had to listen to my mother listening to Elvis to piss off my sister earlier." He got a glass of wine and went to sit and watch people.

"Poor guy. Having to listen to the guy who stole from black musicians and hated the Beatles." She went back to reading. The bartender walked off snickering at that. Brock was shaking his head with a sigh but he was mostly relaxed.

When the singer showed up, she looked familiar to Darcy but not someone super popular that she remembered. They got set up fairly quickly and quietly so she could come out to perform. She had a stunning voice. Even Darcy liked it. She'd have to note her name for Steve to check out. Then she spotted the bad idea at the tables. By usual common rules, no one did anything too risque while outsiders were there to amuse them. That one presently had his girlfriend on his lap. And she was loud. She caught the bartender's eye and looked at the group then back at him. He went to hand them a gag that was on the wall. The guy huffed but she gladly took it with a blush to use.

Brock was staring at the drummer. He knew that former agent. A bit too well. He finished his wine, staring at the guy until he looked in his direction before going back to his drumming with his eyes closed. So yeah, that was not nice. HYDRA had invaded his safe area. He'd have to talk to him later.

One of the guards leaned down to remind him that she had two sets. The drummer couldn't disappear before then. Brock smirked at him but got more wine sent over by a subtly sneaking waiter. He did enjoy the music. She was fantastic.

The idiot who was using his girlfriend as a siren wasn't and Brock glared at him until he shut up. He had to remind himself that there were no weapons allowed in the club outside the ones on the walls. He looked at the nearest one. Two things he could throw and did throw one, knocking him out. She grinned at him and slunk off to get out of the way.

Brock grinned back, biding his time and enjoying his night. The security guard grinned at him for that throwing duty when he walked past him to check on that girl. At the end of the night, he went to find the drummer, putting an arm around the guy's shoulders to smirk at him. "Long time no see."

"I heard about you turning," he said quietly. "While I was in jail."

Brock nodded. "That's a shame, man."

"Nah, it was necessary. At least I wasn't that deep." He stared at him. Brock grinned and let him go. "This place?"

"Very open, very friendly club full of nice people who think I'm hot." He strolled off.

"Of course you are, Commander," he murmured but smiled as he lifted the drum cases into the van. The singer looked at him. "He's an agent who busted the group that meant I went to jail."

"Oh. That's nice he was making sure you were straight."

"Yeah, he's all uptight but apparently here unstarches him." He shrugged but grinned. "And he did quiet that one couple down."

"That was nice of him. I know people sneak some now and then but they're quiet." She helped him load then got into the minivan so they could drive off.

Darcy grinned as Brock walked back in. "Nice toss."

"Thanks." He got another half glass of wine and stared at her. "Busy tonight?"

"Destressing. There's some mighty uptight assholes who think they're God there."

He winced. "That bad?"

"Gibbs. Twice. Though I did smack him once." He walked off shuddering. "Yeah, that type." She smiled at the guy coming over to talk to her. He wanted something simple and good so that was her night right there.


The next morning, Darcy showed up with her special, fancy coffee and smiled at people. "Good morning, people. Let's hope today is less fussy than yesterday."

Gibbs stared at her. "Partied all night?"

She stared at him. "No, my part-time job had hours last night," she quipped. He backed down but grimaced. "When you live life as an unpaid intern real often because your boss is really brilliant but has no common sense...well, the part time has to last for a good while." She smirked a tiny bit. "She usually complains she's lost a ton of weight when I get back." She went up to her desk, hugging the woman up ther. "Cynthia, I thought you were on vacation. Vance said you were."

"I am. I heard I needed to appear to explain a few things then I'm flying out tomorrow." She stared at her. "You're Darcy, right?" She smiled and nodded. "Wow. You're my temp?"

"Yeah. He took pity on my sensible ass." Cynthia laughed but smiled at the director coming in. "Morning, Director."

He stared at her. "Long night?"

"No, I was in bed by two." She shrugged but grinned. "Last night was pretty quiet out there. We had a *wonderful* singer in. Only one rude idiot and Brock hit him with something off the wall." Vance nodded at that, waving Cynthia in. Darcy sat down to log in and get back to the secretarial stuff she needed to do. Someone stomped in and she glared. "He's busy," she noted firmly. "Sit down, shut up, and wait." The agent gasped and stared at her. She stared back, still typing. "Sit. Please." She smiled. "Don't make me get mean. Unless it's an emergency?"

"No, he told me to show up about a mutual case. Who're you?"

"You're a SHIELD agent and don't know me? Wow. I thought I was mythical by now." She got back to work, fixing her typos. "Sit anyway." He sat, frowning as he texted someone. He took her picture and it didn't come out. "Yeah, that won't work around me. Jane's something or other last year." She waved a hand in the air without looking. "Really killed my selfies habit. Tell Hill I said hi and I'll meet up with Jane in Norway."

He texted that and then snorted. "Why would Maria Hill know you?"

She looked up at him then took his phone to look at it. "That's not me. That's Amanda in Biology in *your* labs." She grinned. "I work for Foster, dear." She handed the phone back then went back to her typing duties.

He looked that name up and mentally whined. Then gulped air. "Um, Miss Lewis?" She just grinned while typing. "Oh, um, why are you here?"

"Temping. I met Vance a few years ago and he offered for me to hide here for a few weeks while his assistant is on vacay." She shot him a fast grin then got back to work. "It's how I can afford to live in New York when Jane doesn't pay my pretty, talented butt."

"Um, sure. I'll let Hill know you'll meet up with your boss in Norway." He sent that in. Hill sent back a choking emoji, then an apology since she was on voice-to-text. "Assistant Director Hill said that's fine but she'll be there in four weeks."

"The conference is in five. Unless they moved a whole conference for Jane?"

"Um, probably not." He sent that. "Oh, she's got to fabricate something on site so it doesn't have to move too often."

"Yeah, moving the machines takes a ton of duct tape. Jane's machines always do," she said dryly, still working on the typing duties of formal letters. She heard a shout and got up, heading down there to see what had happened. "What the fuck did you do?" she demanded. Gibbs was standing over DiNozzo, who was unconscious. He glared and she decked him. "Get him an ambulance. He's got a three-day-old concussion, people." McGee was already calling for one. Abby rushed up behind Palmer. "Hey, Palmer."

"Miss Darcy. Is he alive?"

"So far. His pulse is a bit weird though."

Palmer, Ducky's assistant, checked then nodded. "It's a bit weaker than it should be but he is out." Paramedics came off the elevator. "He's got a three-day-old concussion," he reported. "He had to get clearance yesterday, and he usually goes to the naval hospital."

Darcy got out of their way. "Why is his leg bleeding?" She pointed and they checked. She looked up. "Anyone see why he took the header?" No one would look at her. She stared at Gibbs, who was still sneering. "What did you do?" she asked quietly but firmly.

"I didn't, I found him."

"Well, there's very few people who'd want to hurt him and would knock him out. Most of them want to kidnap him, Gibbs. So was it you or one of them?"

"Them, though I have my doubts."

Vance, followed by the SHIELD agent, came to the top of the stairs. "Someone find Ziva David. She hit him on the head knowing he had a concussion." A few agents went to do that. "Paramedics, please make sure they keep him if they need to. He likes to escape. Abby, are you busy?"

"No, Director. I'm going with him."

"That's what I was thinking. Let us know. I want paperwork on them about his clearance. He's already grounded due to the concussion." The paramedics nodded and let Abby help the lift him onto the stretcher. Then she followed them out.

Darcy helped Palmer up. "Good job," she said quietly. "Nice response time. I know you don't deal with too many living people." He grinned shyly and went back to fill out a form. She looked at Gibbs. "She heard me yelling at you yesterday?"

"I think so. She was at her desk." He stared at her. "You're really mouthy for an *intern*."

"Yeah, well, I do things that you can't." She walked off. "The only way to prove yourself the right power is sometimes to be stronger. I learned it from Thor." He shuddered. A few agents found Ziva and were walking her up to the office. She got out of the way. "I left the whip at home, guys, but...I can probably find the one I leant Abby."

"No thank you, Miss Lewis," one said with a smile for her. "If we need such instruments, we have a closet for undercovers."

"Okay, let me know." She smiled at the director, who went in there. She looked at the SHIELD agent and pointed. He sat down. "Want some coffee? They slurp more of it here than Stark does."

"No thank you. I've got to cut down on regular coffee. It's ripping up my stomach."

"Okay. Let me know if you need something."

"I can do that." He watched her work. When Gibbs stomped up there he watched him storm into the office and shout at his agent. "The rest of his team?"

"McGee's at his desk when I came up."

"That's good. DiNozzo is going to be okay?"

She looked at him. "Very new concussion. He was driving on it yesterday."

"Oh, no." He sighed. "Was he in trouble for that?"

"No. He managed it well enough that no one noticed." He winced but shrank in on himself. "Yeah." Cynthia came out smiling. "Let me know if you need me to do things while I'm here, Cynthia. I'm here for four weeks for you."

"Thanks, Darcy." She leaned down. "Did you hit Gibbs?"

"Yesterday I hit him and used my whip." She grinned. "Because he was trying to kill someone. I also suggested therapy of some kind."

"Oh, dear. Agents hate that." Darcy just grinned. "Wow. Any other good gossip?"

"I talked to a few people who were bullying Abby for not being like their ideal worker drone."

"Oooooh." She winced but grinned. "Nice! He likes sugar sometimes but mostly milk with his coffee."

"I can do that." She grinned. "Have fun."

"You too, dear." She went to grab her things so she could go to the airport. Vance's plan to straighten things up was very weird but very tough. No one else would face down Gibbs. But Darcy had faced down elves, real elves not McGee's game elves, and Asgardians. Gibbs wasn't that tough against that level.

Darcy smiled at the SHIELD agent. "I need to refine some of my rules for the lab when I get back to make sure it doesn't happen that way." He just nodded, staring at her oddly. She was used to it though.

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