Yeah, That's Illegal. by voracity

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Darcy had a bad feeling. "Guys, something's going to happen."

"It's your anxiety," Jane complained into her coffee.

"No it's not. The monkeys just fled for the basement." The guys went to check. "The dogs are out back?" Jane went to call them in. "Boys!" Darcy yelled when they didn't listen. "C'mon, it's a bad thing!" The dogs all ran inside to bark at her before sniffing around the house. One paused by the doorway to that shower and barked then moved on. Darcy looked at Jane.

"Go lock yourself in your suite," she said quietly. "Just in case?" She nodded, going that way with the rest of the coffee. Darcy got up to check some things, handing Frank and Clint both shotguns and extra bullets. She checked the security system. "The dino portal is glowing," she announced. "It's early."

"Thor said they sent someone to examine it to see what sort of machine it was," Clint admitted. "Could be that?"

"Could be," Darcy agreed. "Could be a huge storm coming. Not sure." She went to check but the slayers weren't at home. They were off at a battle at the moment. Xander had said they'd be back tomorrow. She came back in shaking her head. "No idea." She let Henrietta into Jane's suite because she was throwing a fit at the lab out back but otherwise things were normal but felt weird. And quiet.

***

Loki found the machine and the being that ran it. He blinked a few times but avoided the beast's sight so he could take pictures of it. It was mobile enough to move. Of course, touching it meant it started to run. The beings outside started to call and flap about, getting hyped that the machine was starting. "Oh, bloody fucking hell," he muttered, getting back into the shadows in case something came to examine it.

***

Clint heard a shriek and winced. "That's the flying ancient chickens."

Frank nodded, checking the shotgun again. "Blow off the heads?"

"Hit 'em anywhere and they're down," Clint assured him. "Darcy, go hide upstairs with the dogs." She ran up there and most of the dogs followed. One stayed with them. "You can go guard the girl," he told it. "Really, Pupkins. You don't have to help us fight this stupid thing." They went outside to check the portal. Yup, it was opening. It was almost able to be gotten through.

***

Loki noticed the portal was nearly completely open so let it and shoved the machine through. That didn't end it but it meant they couldn't reopen it from that side. He stepped through to help battle the flying menaces. Castle kicked the machine off to the side so it was out of the way as he fired on more of the pterodactyls. Loki got out of Barton's way before he shot him as well. He knew Barton wanted to, and he felt sorry for what had happened, but he didn't need shot today.

***

Brock heard firing and winced, working faster on the locks. One last lock. And it was open. He got out and saw the flying things, grabbing his long field blades to go help. Loki had a sword and was helping. Brock got a few that got past them and the dog jumped to catch one. "Go inside, Pepper." It barked but ran inside to go guard the kitchen. Clint glared at him. "Just helping and checking on my dogs." Clint shot at him but he ducked out of the way, only getting a graze. "Hey!"

"I'll kill you after we get the dinosaurs. Can't we end the portal? FOSTER! Machine's here!" She came rushing out to break the machine. Clint looked back at the sound of another shotgun but it was Darcy. "Go back inside, Lewis!"

"I got the one that made it inside." The parrot made an alarmed noise so Brock defended it and got the things bothering it. Finally the portal went down. Loki took another swing and muttered something.

Frank Castle looked at the two bad guys then at his fellow not-exactly-a-hero. "Okay," he decided. "Who the fuck are you?" he asked.

"That's Loki," Darcy said, staring at him. "Gee, thanks, Loki."

"I was sent to get the machine so Jane Foster could break it," he said, pushing back some sweaty hair. "I did not intend to come to this charming place, chit."

Darcy scowled. "Loki, I have a name. Use it."

"I know nothing of that," he said with a smirk. She walked closer and he winced. "Oh, you. Um, Lady Darcy."

She nodded. "Okay. So you broke it from that side?"

"I got near it and it started on its own so I brought it for her to break." He cleaned off his blade and put it back into the scabbard on his back. "I was trying to find it not set it off."

Darcy nodded. "Okay. I get that. Don't go near Clint."

"Of course not. Neither of us needs that." Clint snorted.

Darcy put a hand on his arm, getting it shaken off. "Clint, he was under control," she said quietly. Clint slumped but still glared. "So hate but hate with facts."

"Of course I do."

She looked at the other guy. "I'm sorry they stole your dogs, but I've been very good with them."

He nodded. "Doesn't concern me actually."

"You weren't coming for the dogs?"

"No, I showed up to see about that other me."

"Oh, that. Well, he's possibly helping Xander and his slayers right now at a battle. They're not due back for at least a day. So can you go away again and forget you ever got here?"

He stared at her. "Lewis, I'd hate to let the people you turned in exist in any form," he said bluntly. "I'm not going to sell you out for this. Frankly, good on you for taking them down and out. Saved me some work." She scowled. He stared back. "Really." He shot at Castle when he moved. "I don't need another concussion, thanks, asshole."

Frank smirked. "I can solve the need for one." He fired on him.

"Hey! Watch the animals," Darcy complained. "Go fight by the water or something." She pointed. She heard another footstep and looked then fired on them. That Brock and Clint both went down. "Better! Now we don't have bad guys!"

Frank blinked. "He was?"

"Yeah, that Clint was. He used Xander to recenter himself then gave him to Brock for a favor."

Clint grimaced. "That blows."

"I didn't think him capable of that," Loki said.

"Whole other realm, Loki," she complained.

He tested that portal and those two not dead bodies. "Hmm. A lot of bad energy there."

"Hellmouth," she quipped with a smirk.

"If that's what I think it is, it's foul."

Darcy nodded. "Which is why the slayers and watcher fight against it." She looked at Brock, who decided to stroll over and talk to his other self. "If we break the portal, the hellmouth there would start here." That got a nod from Loki. "And I don't want Xander hurt by those two."

"He can handle it," Jane said.

Darcy glared at her. "If your ex's did that stuff to you I'd protect you too."

"Fine. You're in mom mode." Darcy scowled so she took the machine off to tear it apart. She had to make detailed drawings and plans from it. Henrietta came out to hop onto her back to help her by holding her pen now and then and tools the rest.

Frank looked then shook his head quickly. Clint was nodding at that but working to clean up the mess.

"Any living ones I know people who'll pay a ton to get them," Brock offered. "I can split the profits with you."

"If they're bad guys, send 'em to the island," Frank said. "Let them gather their own."

"They may not survive," Loki said.

"I think that's the point," Darcy said.

"Oh, well, that would be interesting to see who won at least. Entertaining." He went up to the porch to sit down.

Darcy got everyone water and handed one to Brock too. "Not poisoned. Not sure why I'm not." She walked off. "Let's burn these, guys?" They nodded, helping her pile them up and make a bonfire. Brock was talking to his other self.

"A green nuclear bomb?" Brock asked, sounding interested.

"I'd feel like it's a good idea to lock you in a closet," Darcy warned without looking. "We don't need more shit like that. Thank you anyway!" She threw another dino body onto the fire. "Come help, Rumlow. We'll be here all night and they'll rot the land and poison all of us." He sighed but came over to help with the clean up. Once the fire was going, Darcy went inside to go hide in her room for a bit. The dogs followed, even Brock's dogs, and curled up around her so she could sniffle on them.

Clint looked around then headed inside to check on her. He came back to slam that portal's door then went back upstairs. "Hey, shorty."

"This isn't the way I thought my protection would go," she said quietly, looking up at him. "This is going to draw a lot of attention to me and I was getting comfortable here. I don't want to give up the house."

"You don't have to. No one's going to ask Loki about you. I'm about to pierce Rumlow's skull if Castle doesn't." He came in to cuddle her, letting her stress cry on him. The dogs looked worried so he petted them. "It's okay, guys. She's just upset. Girls do this sometimes." She pinched him but the dogs moved to get closer to their human. She petted them, smiling at them.

In the hallway, Castle looked at Rumlow, who he had in cuffs. He led him back downstairs. "I think it's about time you gave up."

"I'm not here to upset her."

"I get that but you did." He smirked and hit him in the face, making Brock shake his head slightly. Xander's form showed up. "Hey, kid."

"Frank." He looked at Brock. "Let me guess, couldn't stay away from my pretty ass?"

Brock stared at him. "You're cute and all but I'm not the evil fuck that one is."

"That's good to know. Since I only seem to draw dangerous assholes." He looked at Frank. "What happened?"

"They sent Loki to look at the portal machine with the pterodactyls. It started on him so he shoved the machine over for Foster to break."

"Ah." He nodded once at that. "Great. Magic and tech don't really mix." He sighed. "Or I wouldn't have just had a battle with someone who decided to open their own hellmouth." He wiped his forehead off with his arm then looked at Frank again. "She need help?"

"She's stress crying on the dogs," Rumlow said. Frank punched him again. "Stop it before I pay it back," he sneered.

Xander sighed but shook his head. "Great, you are as big of an asshole as my version of you. Just what the worlds need."

"Does your portal open?"

"No, because then the hellmouth would start to form here."

"Your little tentacle plant thing?" Brock asked.

"Dominique is a kraken inside the hellmouth." He smirked. "She can manifest the same way I am." He looked behind him. "Kayta, we all good?"

"All bruised and nasty. Is Darcy in the tub?" she asked Frank. "We heard sniffling."

"Stress, kid. Go soak and rest. Or swim. We won't bother you."

"I'm not worried about you perving but that one," she said with a point at Brock. "And his other ex are both leering assholes."

"You're too damn young for me," Brock said patiently. She smirked as she strolled off. He looked at Xander. "You let them in battles?"

"I can't do it on my own, they're all over seventeen in my house, and someone's got to fight the shit we handle. I can't do it on my own."

"No militaries?"

"Like they'd help!" he snorted, giving Brock a disbelieving look. "They haven't helped yet and it's been *years* since I came down here to train the baby slayers. They saw the first demon battle and decided we're all invisible. I don't get any help, or weapons, or anything. Which is why I have to lean on guys like your other self." He looked at Frank, who patted him on the arm.

"I know!" He got free. "It's fine. I'm used to it. At least we're not dealing with the assholes who want to take the girls out. They finally got that point when we let two countries handle it themselves and they failed and died." He walked off for the kitchen, making some coffee. He brought out a mug, handing it to Jane. "You're making sure it can't break mine too?" he asked as he handed it over.

"We are, Xander." She looked up at him. "You're nasty looking. What happened?"

"Battles," he said dryly. "What I've been doing for the last few days." He walked off. "I need to check on the two girls in the hospital." He kicked the Brock from his realm on his way past him. The guy tried to grab him so Xander kicked him harder. That got a moan of pain. "If your people had done the right things, I wouldn't be worried about two of my girls because they wouldn't be in a hospital." He walked past him to go check on his girls.

"That's your battle shit, not mine," that Brock called after him. Frank shot him in the throat then walked off to check the kitchen. The monkeys were still hiding so that was nice.

Clint pulled out his phone to call his boss as he came down the stairs. "Hill." She looked up and stared at him. "We've had a cluster of fucks today."

"Is that Rumlow and Loki?" she demanded.

"Loki got sent to check on the dino island for his people."

"They decided I could sneak in to check the machine and if they ate me, oh well," Loki said sarcastically.

"And the machine started when he got near it so he shoved it over here for Foster to break while we finished off the flying menaces." Hill nodded slowly, dropping her pen. "Rumlow finally managed to make it here so he could talk to his other self from Xander's realm. He's stated he doesn't want to rat Lewis out."

"That's good." She cleared her throat. "I don't have anyone who can come arrest those two."

"Thor's in New York."

"I will not harm Darcy. I admire anyone who puts Thor in his place," he said dryly, smirking at Barton.

"I'm going to put a hole in your skull in a few minutes," Clint said. "Just sit there and shut the fuck up." Loki stared at him but did settle more deeply into the chair because apparently Clint looked like he had reached his last nerve. He looked at Hill. "Sending people down here would bring attention and Lewis doesn't want to have to flee again. She'd miss all the monkeys."

"She'd miss the dogs," Brock said.

"Dogs can move with her," Clint said impatiently. "Shut up before I shove you back across that portal and tie you to something while I finish blowing up that house." Brock huffed but did settle down. He looked at Hill again. "We need a quiet extraction of them so no one comes near Lewis. And if you send new STRIKE, be aware I'll be killing the few that are of questionable morals since they apparently raped a few people."

"I'd have taken them out," Brock said with a sneer. "They let 'em live with that sort of faulty problems?"

Castle shrugged. "I'm not SHIELD but I would've taken 'em out too."

Clint grinned. "Natasha handled them and they all spent delightful amounts of time in the hospital beds and in therapy. That was their one mistake and she's slowly taking them out as she needs practice." The guys just nodded at that. Natasha Romanoff could handle many problem men and then just wipe her hands off as she strolled off. He looked at Hill again. "Plans here? Before I just kill them both and sink them into the bay?"

She cleared her throat. "Don't start a war with Asgard." She looked behind them then at him again. "Lewis?"

"Upset. Rightly so." He stared at the picture. Brock got free and he spun to kick him in the neck, making Castle duck as he grabbed Brock again.

"I've had enough," Darcy said from the doorway. "Stop it before I hurt you." Brock snickered so she shot something at him, making him scream and fall down. "I warned you. Quit giving me hell. I don't need this right now."

Loki stared at her oddly. "When did you get that?"

"Jane built it." She grinned at him. "I have a headache thanks to earlier. Just...sit there, don't be evil, and don't make my headache worse or hurt the animals. Okay?" She stared at their Brock, who was holding his leg and panting in pain. "Good for you too?"

"Yeah, I can be a good boy. We can all get along for the next little while so you can rest."

She smiled. "Good!" She wandered off rubbing her forehead.

"Damn," Brock said, looking amused.

Clint looked at Hill again. "Storm coming in?"

"Some women get a headache from crying," she admitted but did check. "Yes, a bad one. You're under severe thunderstorm warning." She looked at the camera again. "I have no idea what to tell you."

"We can't get through the portal to where they were chopping up bodies. They tore that down. The one to his shower is apparently still standing enough." He looked at Rumlow then at the picture again.

"No, the minions are taking it down," Brock quipped. "To end the freaky stuff there."

Clint nodded once at that. "Okay. So, Hill?"

Jane came out onto the porch. "We've got to shut this down, guys. We've got a huge storm system coming and it looks like it's three days of severe thunderstorms and maybe a tornado or two they're saying." Clint nodded and hung up, looking at the two bad guys. Jane looked at Loki. "We have a room but if you give me one bit of hell, I'm going to sit your frosty ass out in the rain and let you die from it." He scowled. She stared back. "Darcy's compassionate, I'm not. Frankly, you just endangered Darcy and I won't have that."

"I would tell no one where she is."

She leaned closer. "That doesn't mean the ones who're watching you won't and they don't like Darcy because she makes Thor act like a man instead of a boy. She makes him use manners and be an adult and prince, not the joking frat boy soldier he was." Loki sighed but nodded. "So yeah, if they hurt Darcy, I'm going to destroy them, and probably your realm." She grinned. "Thor saw my new device, which is based on voids."

She looked at Brock. "Aww, I knew she stole the laser." She stared at him. "You can sleep outside." She walked back inside. "No monkeys in the house, Mortimer! Or you Snapey!" They ran out. "Thank you! Darcy has a headache and doesn't need to clean up any messes."

"Are your arms broken?" Brock complained. Jane glared back at him. "I'd clean it up for her. So would Barton and Castle probably." Both guys nodded but looked away. Clint looked amused. "Is Lewis your slave or your assistant, woman?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" She slammed the door.

"I had that thought a few times," Frank said quietly.

Clint nodded. "Yeah, a lot in the labs." He looked at Brock. "We know. She's busy doing science." He looked at Loki, making the hard decision. He'd rather kill Loki but... Then he'd probably have to dig his grave himself. "If you can behave and not give Darcy or anyone of us any shit, there's a couch you can bum. That's as far as you're getting for humanitarian aid due to the storms. You give us one little hint of a problem and I'm sinking you into the bay and you won't be coming back from this death."

Loki stood up. "I would not harm Darcy, Barton. Women like her make your life a living hell if you do. She reminds me much of my mother actually." He grimaced. "Only she's not a witch. I should see if she could take up the practice." He shook his head quickly. "Do we have other chores before the storm hits?"

"We need to put food out for the monkeys in the basement and other safe areas."

"I can do that," Frank said, going to get it from the fridge. Darcy always had things prepared for the monkeys. She kept it in a large lidded tub in the bottom of the fridge. He got into the security system and put up shields too. "I put up the diversion shield so it'll ease it some." He put food down in the basement area then went to the other places the monkeys liked to hide.

"None for the parrot?" Brock asked. Clint looked then got it a few things to nibble. The monkeys liked it enough to share some fruit. Darcy came out with a small bag for it to peck out of, giving it something to work at. The parrot was happy with that and she went to add more food to the monkey safe areas behind Frank. Who grinned at her. Brock shook his head. "At least she likes animals." The dogs ran out to pee on things then one stayed by Brock and the rest went to find their new human. "Hey, Pepper." He petted him.

"You named your male dog Pepper?" Clint asked.

"He came with the name."

"Oh. Okay. I know he's a good dog." He went to help. Brock could limp himself into a closet later. Loki could have a couch. They'd handle it. Thor landed though and looked unamused. "Hey," Clint told him. "We're about to be hit with a huge storm so you might want to head out for a few days, Thor."

"I heard of that." He patted him on the shoulder. "Lady Darcy?"

"Making sure the monkeys have food with Castle."

"Hmmm. Would those two be suitable?" he asked quietly.

"Frank lost his family last year and there's a nice lady named Karen who helps him sometimes."

"Pity. Darcy could use a good lover. It would ease some of her stress." He looked at Brock, who was getting up with the dog's help. "Are you not one of those who is on the wrong side?" he asked.

Brock grinned. "I wanted to know what that other me knows."

"He's basically a warlord," Clint told him. "I asked Xander about him." Brock rolled his eyes. "But he is more of an evil dick than you are."

"Every universe is different," Brock shot back. "There's probably a few where Romanoff is evil."

"Well, we ended up in one where we were the mob," Clint admitted dryly. "Steve was a mob boss." Rumlow burst out laughing, shaking his head. "Yeah. I'd only worry if there's one where I'm a nun or you're a nun."

"I'd hate to be a nun. Or a priest."

"There's always monks," Thor said smugly. "They often do not speak."

"There's an idea for your future life," Clint agreed. He stared at Rumlow. "One little, bitty problem and I'm sinking you. Clear?"

"Fine. Let me see if I can get back through that portal."

"No, it's sealed," Jane said from inside. "I checked so we could kick you out." She looked. "Loki, there's a couch this way," she said, leading him to it. "It's not uncomfortable. Castle's slept on it a few times." She gave him a pillow and blanket then went back to the kitchen. She checked. "Shit, we're low on groceries. Clint, we're low on food. Especially if Thor's staying."

He came in to look and took the prepaid card the ladies used for that and the list on the fridge. Jane added some things to it and she texted Darcy, who said she'd make a pickup order for him to get. Jane said he had the list and was heading out so Darcy got to work on that while Frank fed the monkeys for a minute.

They came back in with the other four dogs, going to rest for now. The tv and dvd player were in a back room that was probably supposed to be an office. The dogs had their favorite spots already and went in there. Darcy went to the kitchen, texting Clint for a few other things to add, getting back an 'okay' from him.

Brock limped in after using his t-shirt to tie off his thigh. "Pepper's ran into another room looking happy."

"They like to nap in front of the tv," Darcy said, looking at him. "He's named after Pepper Potts?"

"He came with that name."

"Oh. Okay. I named him Blue's Clues. He's always searching out something."

"The other two are Shaggy and Spacemonkey," Jane quipped. "From shows she likes. The pits are Bullwinkle and Boris."

Brock just nodded. "Sure. Did you name the parrot? The dogs adopted it off the beach one day."

"Beaky McBeakerson? I doubt he'd answer to it."

Brock stared at her for a second then nodded. "Sure. Is there a bathroom I can bum for a few minutes to clean up the blood?" Darcy showed him to the guest bathroom by the dining room. Brock leaned on the sink, shaking his head. Lewis was such a *girl*! At least his dogs were in good hands with her.

And that idea his other self had given him...well, that would be nice he guessed. He pulled off his pants to clean up his thigh. The laser had made a clean hole and burned it shut so not a lot of blood. It had missed all the blood carrying spots and the bone. Still hurt like a bitch though. He cleaned it up and sighed, putting back on his pants. Darcy knocked and held in a pair of sweats, which he took. "Can I wash those?"

"Please do. Blood might upset the dogs. Laundry's upstairs."

"Thanks, Lewis." He went to drop his clothes in the washer. Loki had dropped his up there so Darcy came up to sort them out for washing. Frank's shirt needed it. Clint's outfit needed it. Brock looked at her. "Need help?"

"No I'm good at getting spots out. Thanks."

"Not a problem." He checked his pockets just in case, then Loki's pockets, putting the daggers on the dryer. And the small matchbook too. Loki came in frowning. "I checked. Got any hidden pockets?"

"One," he admitted, pulling that out and taking his things with him. "Thank thee, Rumlow." He went back to his couch.

"Thank you for lending the washer, Lewis." Brock went to find a spot to sit. He was trying not to get attention. Foster might chop him up. Or Castle. Castle was already down watching the storm start to roll in with Thor. Brock went to check on his animals. He stared at the parrot. "Get your dumb bird ass somewhere safer," he ordered with a point. "Now!" The bird flew off, going to what looked like a dog house up in a tree.

"Thank you!" He tossed the bag with food up there for it. He looked at the amused looking men. "What? It'll die, Lewis will cry, and none of us want that. Or the dogs will pout. They liked it for some reason." He walked off muttering, trying not to limp. Two monkeys tried to get in. "No, they said you don't get to come in."

Jane came out to get one to hug. "I know it's a big storm, Henrietta. It'll be okay. We'll cuddle." She picked her up to cuddle. "You, Snapey, out!" She pointed. It chattered. She sighed but got it more fruit to put in the main monkey area. "There. Better?" It chattered, petting her with a hopeful look. "Do you need a Darcy cuddle? Darcy, Snapey is here looking for cuddles."

She came down the stairs to pick up the monkey to cuddle. "It's all right. It's just a big storm. There's no more flying dinos. It'll all be okay." Loki caught one sneaking around them and brought it out for Darcy to cuddle. She went to sit on the porch to cuddle them. "There, that's better. You're allowed up here to cuddle, guys." Thor and Frank both looked then shrugged and went back to watching the storm and for Barton to get back.

Darcy had to put the monkeys down to help with the groceries but they followed to help. Clint grinned, handing them a gallon of water to carry together for Darcy. They thumped it a few times but Thor took it from them to get it into the house. Clint had to shoo them back out but Darcy got carried out there and sat down so the monkeys would calm her down again. Then the guys went to put up the food. Darcy looked at the duo. "They're nice guys, huh?"

Thor came out with the ice cream. "This is frozen, correct?"

"Yeah, please. Back of the freezer if you can."

He nodded, taking it to do that. Jane stuffed the freezer for him. "We don't have room for all this," Jane said quietly.

"Leave the chicken down," Darcy called. "And the roast beef thing. I'll make them in the next three days as long as we don't lose power."

"I doubt we will. We're not on shore power," Clint reminded her. "The two things of ice cream, Darcy?"

"Two?" She looked then grinned. "Thanks, Clint. Move the veggies down to the fridge too? So I can feed them? The monkeys eat brussel sprouts sometimes."

"That's good since I don't," Clint quipped. He got it repacked better, so nothing was going to fall out as soon as they opened the freezer door. He turned and found bread but put it into the fridge too. They'd use that for breakfast. Frank smirked a bit but they could handle all this. Darcy came in once the rain started and the monkeys went to hide. Henrietta was still on Jane's shoulder, getting odd looks from the guys.

Darcy came into the kitchen, pulling out things for dinner. She spotted the bread and sighed. "That's the last loaf."

"I got another two and they're up there," Clint said, patting her on the back. "That one wouldn't fit so we'll have it for breakfast."

"Sure." She nodded. "Are you cooking?"

"I definitely can." He gave her a side hug. "Just throwing those in the oven?"

She nodded. "Please. I need the big baking dish." He got it for her and let her load the chicken and vegetables in there to bake together. Then she worked on the sauce for it. She got that done and ready to be used then looked in the oven before going to look in the fridge again.

"Darce, I bought extra ice cream. We can have some of it for dessert," he said quietly, pulling her back and closing the fridge door. "Go rest. I can do this. Jane can do this if she doesn't start to work on something. Even Thor can do this."

"Hey!" Jane complained. "I can cook sometimes."

"Let's go look at your ideas for that possible etsy shop?"

"I gave it up as a pipe dream," she admitted, looking at him. "A lot of work, no telling if they'll sell. We'd have to go to the mainland to ship things." She sighed. "We'll figure out what I'm doing when I'm not helping Jane."

"I told her to start taking pictures again," Jane said dryly. "She said it's too dangerous."

"We can make sure none of the pictures have a location tag," Clint said. "We can make it more safe for you if you want to go back to that." He walked her off to the office area so she could show him her instagram account. Which turned out to be Jane's office. "Where did yours go?" She pointed in the corner. He looked at her. "This was supposed to be your office and Jane's was in her lab," he said patiently. "You're too nice to Jane."

"I may be but she's doing important things." He led her to the other office area. She had some knitting in there. She settled in to work on something while he sat with her. The dogs came in to cuddle too. She cuddled them instead of knitting. Frank walked past the door and nodded but went back to watch over their guests.

Brock smelled something and sniffed. "That's blood." He went to search it out. "Borrower, heel." The dog came jogging out to him. "Find the blood!" The dog sniffed around until it found a doorway to the basement. He checked. "Locked. Do we have a key for this?" he called.

Clint came to look, shaking his head. "I've never noticed that door. Does it to go the basement?" He sniffed. "Blood. Huh." He went to find that other key, coming back with it. "Here, this is the one for your door."

Brock fiddled with it then ended up picking the lock. They nearly walked into a portal to the ancient world. Brock and Clint both stepped back slowly. "Thor?" Brock called. "Is this your people?"

He came over to look then sighed. "No, it's not. I believe that's Ancient Rome." He sniffed. "What is that blood?"

"Borrower found this as the source," Brock said quietly, petting the dog. "Find the blood, Borrower. Find the scent." It sniffed a few more times and went to the basement stairs. Clint relocked that door and followed. Brock opened the door and winced. "Something's dead."

They went to look, finding one of the flying menaces had gotten in there and had ripped apart one of the older monkey females but had been ripped apart by the rest of the troop. Clint took it out back to burn the pterodactyl. The monkey got buried by the garden. Darcy came in to see what was going on and sighed at the monkey but she helped bury it.

Jane shook her head, checking on dinner. She had no idea how one did that sort of thing.

***

Jane was trying to sleep while Henrietta played in the tub. Darcy put up with her monkey friend most of the time so it was all right. She flipped onto her back, listening to what was going on toward the living room. Thor wasn't being loud but quiet for Thor was loud for most people. She sighed, getting up to go stop the nagging of Loki. She didn't really realize the nightgown she was wearing was a bit thin. She padded out, going to stare at them. "Thor, it's late," she said quietly, staring at him.

He blinked at her then blushed hard. "Jane, you are mostly undressed."

She hit him on the arm. "Stop it." He ducked his head. She huffed. "Darcy needs sleep, Thor. You're a bit loud. Nag Loki tomorrow. We have three days of nasty storms and we'll be stuck inside. So nag him tomorrow."

"Fine. I'll go sleep in front of the tv."

"That's fine. Have a good rest." She looked at Loki, who was lounging. "Let me go back to Henrietta. I've got her potty trained finally." She went back to her bed.

Thor shook his head. "Jane is not peeved but she is fairly tired." He walked off.

Loki laid there, staring at the ceiling, considering things. He could be quite annoying by masturbating. As he did most every single night. He could say Jane's name and send Thor into quiet fits, which would be nice to watch.

Castle came to the doorway. "Don't keep us up," he ordered quietly. "I have no idea why you're hard right now, unless Thor nagging does it for you, but the rest of us need to sleep."

"I bring myself off each night," he said dryly. "Don't you?"

"No, I only do it when I'm in the mood. Most guys do. If you schedule yours, have fun with that."

Loki rolled his eyes.

"Sometimes you schedule some stress relief," Darcy said from the stairs. "I had to schedule mine so I wasn't waking up anyone." She went back upstairs. "Go for it, Loki. We won't laugh about it. Just don't call my name."

"You're beautiful but you remind me of my mother," he shot back. "It would not happen."

Darcy burst out giggling. "Thanks, dude. I like that compliment." She went back to her bed with three of the dogs. One was on Brock, one was on Frank's bed.

Loki looked up then shook his head with a sigh. Darcy was pretty. Quite pretty actually. But she really did remind him of his mother. He wouldn't be the sort to have that sort of fondness for his own mother. Thor was moaning on his couch so that was nice at least.

***

Upstairs, Darcy considered her own neediness but she wasn't going to get that sort of attention. Or give false hope or whatever the guys might think it was. She didn't want the guys to hear her having pleasure. They were like her brothers. Or at least Clint was and probably Frank too. She didn't want attention from the other two either.

So yeah, she'd put that off until she was in the tub at some later time. Speaking of she heard splashing and went to look, scaring the woman in there to death. "Hi, I'm Darcy, that portal leads to my house. I came to see if you're one of the slayers that usually uses it. Are you okay?"

The woman blinked at her. "I .... Huh?"

"The two realms are joined thinly here," Darcy said. "On this side is my house and my bathroom. I don't mind if the girls use it though. Sometimes you gotta soak." She shrugged but grinned. "Need help? The lavender things smell nice and I got it for the slayers to use." She pointed.

"I have mint stuff," she said holding up the bottle.

"Okay, cool. If you have a problem, just yell. I'll make sure the doors close and keep the dogs out." She did that.

The girl blinked a few times but went back to soaking cautiously. She heard the dogs sniffing the door a few times but that was what dogs did. She heard someone walking in the hallway and slid out of the tub, pulling on her robe to go check. Darcy was sleeping, you could hear her snore. She spotted the guy in the doorway, staring at him. "Nosy ass," she said quietly. "Shoo!" He left. She went back to her tub, shooing the dogs away from it. "Thanks, Puppies." They went back to Darcy and she made sure nothing else happened. When Darcy came in to use the bathroom she waved a hand. "There was a snoopy guy I made go away," she said quietly.

"Scarred?" Darcy asked, pausing on her way to the water closet.

"No. Not many."

"Huh. Frank must be doing security rounds. I'll talk to him in the morning." She considered it. "And close the door when I'm done." She went to use the bathroom then washed her hands and closed her bedroom door and the bathroom doors. The dogs curled up around her again so that was nice. She'd talk to Frank in the morning.

***

Darcy came in the next morning, looking at the people sipping coffee. "Who was in the hall last night?"

"You were cutely snoring and sucking on the dog's ear," Frank said. "Sorry, Darcy."

She sighed but nodded. "I'll remember to close the door, Frank. You freaked out one of the slayers using my tub."

"I saw. She's an older one."

Xander strolled in. "That was Buffy. She was feeling miserable due to the heat we have." He kissed Darcy on the cheek with a grin. "Cute kitty jammies, Darcy."

She swatted him with a scowl. "I'm fully covered."

"You are," he agreed with a grin. "By cute things. I need to make the girls get cute jammies for movie nights." He looked outside. "Wow, we didn't get this. We've got dry heat today." He pouted at her. "Send some of the rain our way?"

"If I could. We've got three days of huge rains."

He grimaced. "That's gonna suck."

"Do you know anything about the other portal?" Clint asked with a point.

Xander went to look then came back. "A world where Rome didn't die." He got a bit of water to drink and sighed. "They'll stay there. That one's not open that I can tell." That got a nod from everyone. "Just keep the door locked. I didn't sense any magic over there. It's usually drawn to come test me if there is."

Darcy patted him on the arm. "That's good to know. Thank you, Xander." She went to look at the coffee pot. It was full for once. She grinned, pouring herself a cup and getting some of the french toast. "Thank you, guys."

"Welcome," Clint and Frank said.

"It was our turn to cook anyway," Clint added with a grin. Darcy smiled back, coming over to sit down. Xander sat with them. "Anything going on over there?"

"I'm avoiding being nagged," he said with a smirk. "Because Buffy loves to nag that I'm not a slayer even though I handle the same things she does."

"Know that feeling," Clint agreed. Loki walked in. "I made french toast."

"Thank you, Barton." He settled in to eat quietly. He looked at Darcy's outfit. "It's not as fetching as Jane's was when she came to nag Thor, but those make you look adorable."

She stared at him. "If you're flirting, be more clear. If you're not flirting, thanks. I feel like a young teenage girl."

Loki shrugged. "Youth and exuberance for life are not exclusively mated. Such joy for life is a rare gift to keep at your age." He stared at her. "And if they make you feel embarrassed for being happy, use your lightening box."

"I would if it wasn't upstairs." She dug in again.

Xander hugged her. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

She grinned at him. "I know." She dug in again. "Clint, are you sure we can do that with the photo things?"

"Yeah. It's not hard. I checked your insta too. It's blocked for location too. I'll check your phone before you take anything." He grinned. "How many are you doing?"

"Probably three outfits." She shrugged. "I'm not really in shape though."

"You can do some working out," Frank said. "We wouldn't watch, Lewis."

She hit him on the arm. "I know that. That takes more than a day."

"And extra water to make sure she doesn't bloat," Jane agreed with a nod. Henrietta chattered quietly against her shoulder so she patted her on the back. "Good girl. We'll go potty in a minute then we'll go run to the lab."

Darcy looked at her. "You're potty training her?"

"It saves the floors!"

"I guess but weird."

"You can potty train small dogs and most cats if you work at it. Of course a monkey's smarter."

Loki looked at her then stuffed his mouth. Thor was coming in, he could handle his former girlfriend's weird ideas. Thor smiled. "Morning, Jane and Henrietta." He kissed her on the cheek and petted the monkey's head. "It's a good morning for you both?"

"Mostly," Jane agreed. "Henrietta used the tub instead of the toilet but that was pretty close." Thor nodded, getting his own breakfast to come back and sit down. She looked around. "Rumlow's sleeping in?"

"He was up at four," Clint said. "He woke me up by grunting while binding his leg so he could do pushups. He's a gym before breakfast guy." The other guys just nodded at that.

"At least you don't have to watch him wax," Xander quipped. "Did that a few times." He sipped his water.

Brock walked in shaking his head. "I don't wax. I'm not that furry."

"The other you did. And it was weird to watch." Xander looked at Darcy. "You're taking 'look, I'm still okay' photos?"

"I used to model. I'm using my original identity to throw them off this life."

"Oh." He nodded. "I think you're still pretty." She grinned at him. "I do. If we were on the same realm you'd tell me to leave you alone."

She patted him on the hand. "You can't be that bad of a stalker, Xander." She nudged his shoulder with hers. "We'll figure it out." He nodded. "Is Buffy nagging?"

"Not yet. She's still in bed. They work night shift so they never get up before noon unless there's a huge mall sale. So basically black Friday." He finished his water.

"There's coffee and Clint made french toast," Darcy said.

Brock nodded, getting some coffee to drink black. "Thanks. I made hard boiled eggs earlier though."

Clint frowned. "It's just french toast."

"It's a lot of carbs," he shot back.

"You're damn weird. No wonder HYDRA wanted you."

Brock glared. "Not why they wanted me."

"If there's a fight I'm going to stab someone," Jane warned. "A lot." They settled down again. "Thank you, I didn't want to train Henrietta how to stab people." She looked around. "Darcy, where's the dogs?"

She pointed. "They ran around the house and they're out of the rain but one's still pooping. They get twenty minutes outside at a time so they can run around to get energy out." She finished her breakfast. "Let me go shower and stuff. I'll let you have my phone in a few, Clint."

"Sure." He watched the dogs run around to play in the rain. "Old towels?"

"My bathroom." He went to get them and the dogs came in to get dried off. Even Jane helped. Then the dogs ran to go stare outside at the heavy rains going on. All the monkeys were hiding and the parrot was still in the treehouse so it was a boring day for them until someone wanted to play.

Darcy went up to take a shower and fix her hair for the first time in months. It felt good to put on eyeliner again. To actually do her hair up pretty. To put on the pretty bra that made her stand up just *so*. Clint knocked and leaned in. "It's on the dresser." She put on her lipstick, staring at him when he took a picture in the mirror. "Hey! I'm not ready!"

"You look sexy as fuck, Darce. It's less skimpy than some bathing suits too." He moved closer, helping by putting her necklace on her. "There. Let me get one more?" She blushed but nodded, tipping her head to the side. "No, relax. Go back to your lipstick." She did but looked back at him. She was smiling because he hadn't shot yet when he got her picture. She blushed. He showed her, making her sigh. "You look sexy."

"My chin's got a double. I need to tip my head up."

He kissed her on the temple. "No you don't. Quit complaining and put on the black dress?" She sighed but got up to put that on. She arranged herself and did her selfie. Clint stared, coming over to shift her stance. "Quit being so picky."

"That's how they had me stand. I'm a bit thick in too many places."

"Thicc is in, Darce. You have a booty and bust."

"And a belly and sides."

He stared at her. "Not really." He took one of her standing there without her heels then one with her heels as she moved around to her closet. He showed her and she moaned. "Yeah. Still very pretty." He grinned. "Natasha would like that."

"She's not into girls."

"Are you?" he asked.

"No."

"Yet you can both find people of your own sex sexy."

"True." She sighed. "Fine, send the second one to her if you want."

"Thanks." He grinned and sent it to himself so he could send it on. She changed and he got her into a waist cincher she had. "You need a bra that matches that."

"Sorry. Not an available option." She looked over her shoulder and Clint took a picture of that too. "Clint!"

"What? You look hot." He grinned. "I've had a few assignments doing photography with Natasha being a model." He smirked. "Change again." He turned around to give her privacy. She sighed but did slide the other dress down over top of the foundation garments. He turned back at her cough, helping her into a better necklace for that outfit. He stared at her. "That looks uncomfortable and the waist thing shows."

She sighed. "I look lumpy without it."

"Uh-huh. You've lost twenty pounds since you got here because you're not snacking and the monkeys take all your food. Take it off, Darce. Let's see without it." She went into the bathroom to take that off and came back out. "That's what it is. Your breasts sit too low." She looked and moved to tighten her bra straps so they sat higher. Clint moved up behind her. "Wear that blue dress you wore when you came to the tower?" he asked quietly.

She looked up at him. "I was wearing green." He pulled out the dress and she blushed. "I hate that dress. I look sweaty."

He looked at her. "Pick out something that says classy but sexy then." He turned back around while she checked the closet then picked out the one she wanted. She cleared her throat so he could turn around. Now she was in a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt that looked more like a poet shirt but had short sleeves. It highlighted her breasts and you could barely see through it.

The bra was a light blue so you barely had a hint of it. Clint grinned, taking multiple pictures of that, including her stepping into her heels. He let her see and she picked out three to upload. He picked a fourth and she looked then sighed and uploaded his choice. "That's nice." He kissed her on the head. "You never did lingerie shoots, did you?"

"No. I was fifteen when I had to go into hiding. They tried but I came out complaining I looked like a prostitute. My agent was horrified but agreed I was too young. Then again, my agent and his girlfriend of the day used to have sex during meetings." She sighed. "He switched between four of them."

He rubbed her arm. "They were bad people, Darcy. You did the right thing helping bring them down. You saved a lot of young women from being horrifically abused. You were the strongest girl then. And you still are because you make Thor back down." She grinned at that. "Let's go downstairs."

"Let me put on sneakers." She got up to change shoes then followed him down the stairs. Jane stared at her oddly. "I did a few new pictures once Clint made sure there wasn't a location tag."

"That's good," Jane agreed with a nod. "But you look...overdressed." She yawned.

"She's fine," Frank said. "It's a pretty shirt and makes her look hot." He looked her over. "Way too damn hot actually." She blushed, going to make more coffee. "How did the pictures turn out?" Clint showed him at Darcy's shrug. "Damn." He showed Xander the one from the mirror.

"Super damn. I need to see if Darcy's in my realm." He pouted. "I hope she likes cuddles."

"I do like cuddles," Darcy quipped with a grin. "If I'm there, go hit on me and tell me about this." She winked and he grinned, going to look her up. She came back with her coffee mug. Jane was asleep on the table with Henrietta being cuddled. "Aww," she said quietly. She looked at Frank, who was staring at the pictures. "He did good catching my good side."

Frank looked at her. "Honey, if I wasn't in this stage of life I'd probably try to have you on this table." She blushed bright red. He handed the phone back to Clint. "You don't have a bad side. You're all pretty all over."

She ducked her head. "Thanks, Frank."

"Welcome." He looked her over. "I'd need vitamins to work you over." He sighed and sipped his coffee. "I'm too damn old."

Clint grinned at Darcy, strolling off to let Frank realize he wanted to flirt.

Darcy looked at him. "Are you flirting for real?"

He grinned. "I can if you want."

"Would Karen mind?"

"Probably." He moved some of her hair off her neck. "Damn I'm an unlucky man."

She punched him on the arm. "No you're not."

"Yes I am." He grinned. "Because I'm a good boy and I don't want to make Karen mad."

She rolled her eyes. "I doubt she would be, Frank. She knows where your heart is."

He tipped his head. "I'm not thinking with my heart, Lewis." She got up to get more coffee and walked off blushing hotly. "Yeah, that's a good side too," he sighed, staring at her ass.

She ran into Brock coming out of the bathroom and ducked around him.

He stared at her. "You get all dressed up for us?"

"I put up a few more pictures."

"Oh." He nodded. "You look nice." She stared at him. "You do."

She swallowed. "Thanks, Rumlow." She went up to change but Clint walked her off. "Clint, I need to change."

"No, you don't. Frank's heavy handed. It's been a long time since he had to give compliments." He looked at her then over her then back at her face. "You're fully covered, tastefully covered, and you'd look just as sexy in another set of cutesy jammies. I'll make him quit remarking on it though if you want."

She relaxed her shoulders. "I should still change to something less...pretty."

"Darce, no matter what you put on, you're pretty." He patted her on the cheek. "But go change if you want." She nodded, going to do that. He went to talk to Frank. "Did the smarm disease hit you?"

"Yeah, I think so. I'll apologize."

"She's changing." Frank sighed. "She probably couldn't roughhouse with the dogs in that shirt anyway." Clint sat across from him. "What was last night?"

"I really was watching her suck on the dog's ear." He shrugged but sipped the bottom of his cup of coffee, getting up to get more. "I wasn't going to wake her or perv or anything. She looked like an innocent teenager."

Clint nodded. "She can do that a lot." He sipped his own coffee when Rumlow came back in. "Where did Thor go?"

"He's out talking to the parrot on the porch." He got more coffee and sat down at the table with them. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, I flirted a bit too hard and she's not used to it anymore," Frank said quietly.

"Or like ever," Clint said. "Before it was about the job and she was surrounded by assholes with ideas about her body. After that I think she hid in all those big sweaters and ugly hats and scarves so no one would notice she was hot."

"It was more camouflage to make sure they didn't realize I was me," Darcy said as she came back in. "It's something I learned in college." She sat down with her new coffee. "I'm not mad. At all. At anyone. Just...don't flirt just to be flirting, guys. I'm not the girl that really does any of that. I like straightforward guys."

"Was your intern in England one?" Brock asked with a grin.

"I kissed him first, not the other way around."

"Oh."

"But it was during the battle so...." She shrugged. "We broke up not too long after that. I'm not into following two scientists around."

"I get that," Frank agreed. "You're busy with Jane's stuff."

"Yeah, exactly." She looked at the sleeping astrophysicist then at Clint. "I'm ignoring all the bad comments on the pictures already."

He looked since he still had her phone. "A few 'you're fat' ones but otherwise some saying you never lost your old touch." She blushed, ducking her head to drink some of her coffee. "One from a Lamar..." She took it to look at then blocked him. "One of them?"

"One's assistant. I doubt he's good." She handed the phone back. "So I don't have to see those. I tried that at first and decided I was turning vain and shallow." She looked at Frank, who shook his head. "I'm not the same girl I was at fourteen. I'm really not. All that changed me then following Hurricane Jane did it more." Loki walked in and looked in the refrigerator. "Clint made breakfast but I think we all inhaled it."

"Thor was wanting food for the monkeys he's charming."

"Bottom drawer, big container." Loki found it and walked out to hand it to Thor, who fed his new friends. "If he uses it all he has to cut more," she called.

"I shall not," Thor promised.

"Thank you." She looked at Loki. "Did you get breakfast?"

"I don't really eat that meal but I had a tiny bit to tide me over," he admitted. "I'll go pick some fruit for brunch and perhaps borrow an english muffin or two?"

"Go ahead. They're in the freezer at the moment." He nodded, pulling down two to defrost and going to pick some fruit. A monkey got mad at him but he stared until he ran away. Darcy had seen it and shook her head with a sigh. Jane snorted and woke herself up. "Go back to bed, Jane. We're not doing anything."

"I was going to help watch the two idiots." Brock smirked at her while sipping his coffee. "That way Darcy doesn't have to stab you or taze you."

"She can try if she wants," Brock quipped. Castle growled so he stared at him. "I didn't know she had six dogs." Castle tried to grab him but he moved and hit back at him.

Darcy zapped Brock with her tazer, making him yelp. "Next time's twice as long." She glared. "Do not destroy my house acting like little kids on a sugar high. That's my job."

"Sorry," Brock said, walking off. "I'll go find a book to read."

"Loki's in the library on that couch," Barton said as he walked past him. He checked that shower portal and it was fully down. That just left that one by the basement door. He listened at it. There was apparently a battle.

Xander came back to listen, frowning. "Huh. Well, if I had the mystical sword collection I could send one over but that might be dangerous." He walked off frowning. Darcy was cuddling the dogs in the tv room. All of them were settled around and on her. Brock's dog, Pepper, was behind her on the back of the couch with his head on hers. So that was good. He'd go help by cuddling her but she looked like she wanted to be alone so he left her alone.

Brock walked past the door of the tv room and backtracked to take a picture of them, grinning when she scowled. "That's really cute." He let her see it. "How're you going to replace the knitted hats and scarves you used to wear?"

"Fifties era scarf use. Big sunglasses." She grinned. "Not too old fashioned if I'm wearing closer to fifties clothes."

"That could work. You can rock that look pretty well. But casual running out?"

"Still the sunglasses, hair pulled back. I can clearly not look like anyone but a brunette girl. They focus on the face, not the body."

"You've seen the one that was a bikini picture?"

"Yeah, I remember doing that one actually. I complained the photographer offered me a bump of coke and wanted me to pose like I was in Penthouse, which I'd only snuck and seen but had no idea how raunchy it was. His boyfriend was watching the shoot staring at me like I was KFC chicken. My agent was off in the corner with his shortest of his daily girlfriends making her squeal that she didn't really want it there but okay."

She grimaced. "And I still looked sucky in that style of bikini. No support up top, the bottom wasn't fitted right so it was gaping on the sides." She shook her head. "I have better looking ones now. And I can rock them like no other slightly heavy but pretty girl can." She grinned. "Since plus size in modeling is a size six...."

"Six?" he demanded.

"Yup." She changed which dog she was petting, reaching back to pet Pepper. The dog licked her hair and went back to his rest. "Is anything going on?"

"Foster's still in bed. Barton's wandering around. Castle's wandering around. Loki's nibbling his brunch at the table. I was going for a book."

She nodded. "I'll go sit on the porch and let the dogs play in a bit then. You guys can throw balls." Pepper's head came up and he woofed quietly. "Ask your other human," she said with a grin, tipping her head back.

"Sure, find me the ball, Pepper." He got out of the way of the dog, which came back to him with a ball. He took him into the backyard to play. The rain had slowed down some. Barton came out with the other dogs and their balls, making them all happy dogs. Pepper was happy playing with him and just him. Clint was playing with them and a few monkeys who apparently liked to play fetch too.

Brock looked at his dog, who was staring at him. He teased him and threw the ball, making Pepper a happy boy again. He came back happy and his tail was wagging hard. "I know, you need more play time, Pepper." He petted him then threw the ball again. The rain was starting to pick up. Most of the dogs ran back inside because they hated to get wet but Pepper was loving the ball time with him and he was staying dry so he'd play with him until he wanted to go in.

Clint paused beside him, staring at the dog then at Brock. "If you manage to get off the island and take the dog with you, we'll bring him back to Darcy when we get you." He walked inside. "C'mon, guys. Let's dry off then go pounce the mommy!" The dogs were happy with that since Darcy had dog treats too.

Brock looked at Pepper, who barked. He threw the ball and sighed. Pepper was more than happy to bring him a rope instead. He came out to play tug of war. The dog was a happy dog. "Isn't your female playing with you?" he teased with a grin. "You act like you never get to play, Pepper." He tugged and the dog barked, tugging back. "Sure, we'll both get wet."

***

Frank watched Brock and his dog play, then looked at Barton. "Do we look like that with our dogs?"

"Yeah, probably." He got more coffee and started another pot, walking off sipping it. He spotted Darcy thinking and went to sit beside her, curling up with the dogs shifting to make room for him. He petted them, his cup on his thigh for now. She put the cup on the table, giving him a dirty look. "It wasn't going to spill."

"I remember the last time you said that."

"Point." He shoulder nudged her. "I know you're bored."

"I am missing some of the clubbing and movies, the going out now and then, but I've been too poor for that in the past." She leaned against his shoulder. "How much longer on the storm? It's making me feel creepy."

"Probably another two days plus however long it takes to settle down so we can use the boat." She nodded. "Tired of us?"

"No. Trying to figure a few things out. Like how in the hell am I supposed to date when I'm out here."

"That could be a problem," he agreed. "Unless you date someone who knows."

"Yeah but most of the ones I know are taken."

"Point." He grinned, kissing her on the cheek. "We can let you video date."

"Yeah, that might work. I went on okcupid the other day to look around and that was depressing."

"It is. A lot of it is desperation." He gave her a hug. "We'll figure it out. Maybe you can come back soon if we can end all those idiots. Then come down here now and then."

"Then who'd feed the monkeys?"

"They foraged for years, Darcy."

"They can't now."

"You have the garden. You can come down each year to plant more if you need to." She shrugged, which moved a dog. She cooed and petted him so he laid back down. "I have no idea. We'll figure things out soon enough." She nodded. He let her cuddle. It was a good day for a cuddle. He saw Frank walk past the door and mentally decided he had to talk to him about his light stalking. Frank had Karen waiting on him, which was probably not something he wanted to think about.

Clint had a family hidden from SHIELD. That really only left Loki or Rumlow to cuddle if she wanted that. Which was a gross thought. Loki didn't deserve to sleep with the dogs, much less a good human like Darcy. Rumlow was a bad choice since he was an evil fuck with control issues. Yeah, she was kinda stuck with a vibrator if she got needy. Or Foster and he doubted Foster was into girl sex.

She looked at him. "Why are you nuzzling?"

"You're comfy." He grinned at her. "I think you'd do great cuddling a tiny little human some year."

She pushed his head off. "Not into that until well after marriage and after I get a real job."

He grinned. "That's fine. You're still cuddly." He pulled her back and snuggled in again. She didn't do more than roll her eyes so she didn't mind. Darcy needed more human contact daily. She was the sort that hugged and bounced into people, but now she just had Foster, the dogs, and the monkeys.

"You're thinking too loud," she joked.

"You need more cuddly time. It's wearing you out."

She nodded. "But it's not safe. I didn't think I'd be this way when I turned them in. I thought I was just saving myself and the other models I ran into. The older ones gave me pitying looks all the time. I don't know if they knew and didn't say anything or what."

"You had a lot of enthusiasm for life, even that life. By the time they make it a few years, most of them have lost it. The same as agents lose that idealistic 'doing good for the world' thing most had when they came in." She nodded. "But now you're a great adult, realistic and not shallow." She poked him on the arm. "You are."

"I know. But it sucks that I'm going to be down to Jane and only Jane again soon. And maybe sometimes Xander visiting."

He sat up to look at her. "We'll still visit, Darcy."

"You need those days to go home. They need you more, not you being down here."

He stared at her. "I about offered to put a trailer on the back twenty of the farm for you two." She sighed but nodded. He cuddled her again. "We'll figure out how to get you more people contact, Darcy. It sucks that you're a hugger and can't get as many now."

Frank leaned in. "Problems?"

"She's lacking human contact," Clint said. "And dating times."

Frank nodded. "That would suck. We can maybe clear a few places as being safer. Find her a disguise." He leaned on the doorframe, staring at them. "We'll figure out a way to not make you some lady in a creepy novel wandering around in some heavy ancient dress."

"That'd be nice," Darcy agreed. "Jane suggested I should have a kid."

Both guys shook their heads. "No, that would drive her nuts and you," Frank said. "Colic would kill you both." He came in to sit down, letting the dogs lounge on him. He petted them. "Dog would be really jealous," he teased with a smirk. "But you're all good boys. He'd love to come play with you."

"Next time bring him with you," Darcy said. "The same as Clint can bring Lucky."

"Thanks. Lucky would probably love the playing in the woods time." They shared a look then got back to cuddling Darcy so she relaxed.

Jane walked past the doorway thinking about things. Darcy looked good surrounded by tough guys with big muscles. She glanced at Brock's muscles when she ran into him but went to the office to get something done. Henrietta was back outside to get some playtime in. Or possibly to go break into the lab and rip things up.

Her phone showed her doing that so she went to yell at her. "Henrietta, I'm not in there," she called. "Go play. Lab time tomorrow." The monkey ran off to climb a tree. She went back to the office to get something done. Thor came in to sit with her and talk to her. They had done that a lot in the labs before.

Loki was reading on his couch, shaking his head. Thor wasn't being flirty but it seemed like he wanted Jane to just fall into his lap like old times. Which would suck for her. Thor had no style in bed. Someone really had to save that poor woman from Thor's grunt and thrust style and show her how real men did it. Perhaps that Rumlow guy? He wasn't drawn to Darcy. Or at least he wasn't in there cuddling with her like the other two.

***

Darcy was woken up by a loud crack of thunder and the dogs running to hide. "Hey, you can hide in here," she called. "It's okay, boys. C'mon. It's just a loud noise." She got up to find them and soothe them. Frank had two in with him and Clint had the others outside Pepper. Pepper was back with Brock, trying to hide underneath him. "C'mon, boys. Let's go cuddle. We'll hide from the storm. We'll make a blanket fort."

She smiled, leading them back to the bedroom to start a blanket fort against the side of the bed. Tucking blankets under the edge of the mattress and around the edges of the bed to hold it up. An old tripod for her camera holding up the left edge and the right tied to her desk chair to hold it up. Frank and Clint brought in more pillows to add to their blankets. She got them settled and the dogs inside, then put down the flap.

Brock brought Pepper in and let him into the blanket fort. "There, you cuddle her. She'll keep the loud noises from you." He let Frank move around him to turn on the radio quietly. The dogs got calmed down by Darcy cuddling and the guys being on the bed to wait with them in case the storm made them flee again. Another big crack of thunder, and Thor went out to try to calm it down some, they heard him stomping out muttering.

They heard Loki go out to yell at him too. "Thor, if you end the storm it'll cause flooding!" Loki yelled. "You know that! Just ease the lightening so the thunder calms down!"

"Fine," Thor complained.

Jane came out to look up. "If it doesn't move on, it'll stall on the coast and it'll flood a lot of farms," she told Thor. Who nodded and sighed but did calm it down some but not enough to end it. "Thank you. The dogs are hiding. They panicked at the loud noises."

"That's fine. Many would be scared of that noise." Thor came up to grin at her. "It's eased so they should rest easier. You as well. I know you do not like thunder."

She shrugged. "I got used to it with you around." He grinned. "I'm going back to bed. Henrietta's hiding in my shower." She went back to check on her monkey pet and they went to cuddle. Though Henrietta still fled and tried to get out when the next hit of thunder went off. Jane let her outside so she fled to the money enclosure. "That's fine." She flinched at the new bit of thunder. "Damn it," she muttered.

Loki gave Thor a pointed look then glanced at Jane and back at Thor. Thor went to soothe his ex-girlfriend. "Jane," he said quietly, touching her arm and making her flinch. "Come, I will rest near you so you do not wake up from the noise either." She nodded, letting him lead her back to her bed. It was a nice sized bed. He fit well. She snuggled in like she used to. And still the storm upset her. "Want me to get Loki to work a sleep spell?"

"I'll have nightmares," she said quietly. "But thanks."

"Welcome." He cuddled her better, letting her hide her head between the pillow and his neck. That left her ears covered. Loki came in with a glass of something. "She said a sleep spell would trap her."

"It would. This is just a tonic to relieve the stress." Jane looked at him but sat up to drink the tea and herbs. "Sip it slower, Jane. Too fast and it could give you gas."

"She belches in her sleep anyway," Thor teased.

Jane poked him hard on the chest before handing Loki the glass back. "Thank you, Loki."

"It's no problem. I can teach Darcy how to make it in the morning." He went back to his couch, wincing at the lightening that went off nearby. "Oh, dear." He looked around. "Boys, there's a fire," he called. Clint, Frank, and Brock ran down the stairs to handle that. Darcy followed with Thor and Jane following them. "Jane, go lay down," he ordered. "Before you fall over. The nerve tonic will do that to one." She huffed but got a few buckets to help them put out the fire.

Darcy ran in to get the fire extinguisher and came back to put out the tree. She leaned back, staring at the mess. "Boys, in the house," she ordered. The dogs ran back inside. "Thank you. You too, Pepper." He ran inside after barking at Brock.

Brock shook his head. "I never paid them much attention. He's stalking me." Darcy burst out in giggles but they sounded like hysterical ones. He looked at Frank and Clint, who both winced. "Shit, you're both taken," he realized. He pulled her closer to cuddle. "Shh, princess. It's all right. We got it fixed and it'll be fine. None of the animals got hurt. You're all okay." She started to cry so he held her awkwardly but they let him.

"Shh. Let's get you back into the blanket fort with the dogs." He picked her up to carry her upstairs again. He tucked her into the pillows, letting the dogs cover her again. "Boys, protect her. She's upset." He tucked a spare blanket around her and let them handle it. Dogs were good when you were sad. Pepper was whining at Darcy so she petted him, cuddling him like a teddybear. The others got petted and soothed again. Brock came out shaking his head. "The dogs are good for her."

Jane nodded. "They are and they give her more to do than to fuss over me and the monkeys."

Frank nodded. "Thanks. Neither of us know how to handle crying women."

"Yeah, my wife would never cry in front of anyone, even me," Clint said.

Frank nodded. "Mine said she never cried. Even when I was deployed." He slumped, looking at the former tree. "That's going to need to come down for safety reasons."

"We have an axe in the storage area," Clint said. "I can do that tomorrow." He looked at Rumlow. "Go guard her and the dogs?"

"Fine. I can do that instead."

"You're not that great at many things," Frank sneered.

"I was a SEAL, Castle. I've been through more SERE than you have and lived that way for a while too." He shot him a look. Then looked at Clint. "You're now a farm boy."

Clint nodded. "I am. I nearly offered part of the back twenty of the farm to her but the kids would never leave them alone. It'd piss off Foster."

Brock nodded. "I think plenty of things do," he said quietly. "Does anyone else worry about Darcy needing an abuse shelter?" he asked. Frank nodded. Clint snickered but raised a hand slightly. "I don't remember her being like that in New Mexico."

"No, something happened around the battle in London," Clint said. "Not sure what."

"Can we fix it?" Frank asked. "Darcy would probably be happier if we could give her the old Jane back. I don't think that's the battle."

"No, it wasn't post battle trauma," Clint agreed. Loki strolled out. "Do you know what happened? I know the reports said she went to Asgard right before the battle."

"Exposure to an infinity stone."

Clint stared. "Like your staff?"

"A different one but it's apparently left taint." He looked inside then at them. "As for the taint, there's a possible way, but she'd probably fuss."

"Get Darcy to nag her into it," Frank said.

Loki nodded. "That was my thought on it as well." He went inside to talk to Thor. Jane was asleep, barely snoring. "Thor, even others have noticed that she had a radical personality change," he said quietly.

"The aether."

"Probably. Or a brain tumor."

"They took it from her."

"Things like that leave a taint, Thor. The same as anyone who looks could tell I've handled two of them, they can tell that she touched one."

"Can we take it from her?"

"Yes. It'll take a detoxing ritual." Thor nodded slowly. "Which we can do here. It'll take most of the next two days though and may make her react...oddly. You'll talk to her in the morning?"

"Yes, I can do thus. Thank you for figuring that out, Loki."

"They said she's not the same as she used to be." He gave Thor a pointed look then left.

Thor laid there and thought. Jane was different, though it wouldn't have mattered to their relationship. They did have to solve that since his people had started that problem. He would've thought the healers would have fixed it but Odin had stopped her treatments too soon he guessed.

***

Brock watched as Jane stomped past him in the kitchen, checking to make sure the coffee pot was started. Between her and Barton they basically kept a coffee company in business. Darcy came in and nodded with a grunt. "You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Thanks. I don't know what that was."

"That was being overloaded, princess. Everything got too high around you." She patted him on the arm, getting some coffee before looking around. "She stomped past a minute ago."

"Great," she sighed. "What now?" She looked in the pan. "You cook?"

"I do cook," he said dryly, smirking at her. "Omelette?"

"Please. That sounds nice. Cheese?"

"I can add cheese to yours. Mushrooms and peppers?"

"Green?"

"Yeah, you have some." She grinned, going to sit down and sip her coffee until he finished her breakfast.

Jane came back, staring at Darcy. "The aether left stuff."

Darcy nodded. "I figured it did, Jane. Anything that powerful would." Jane pouted. "Xander noted he felt something like magic around you and asked if you did magic."

She slumped into a seat, staring at her. "Thor said Loki can do something to weed it out."

"Okay, so what does that take?" She sipped her coffee. "Will we need special things? It's too choppy to go out today."

"I don't know. I got huffy." She went to find Loki. "Will we need special things?"

"We can do most of it in your bathroom. Some of it is meditation based." She nodded at that once. "And the rest will mostly be a cleanse of a sort. Do you have a meditative focus?"

"I don't really meditate unless I'm really getting mad at the science then I take a few deep breaths, think better thoughts, and then go beat it with a bat or something."

He grinned. "Not Darcy's lightening box?"

"Darcy won't let me play with her taser." She smirked. "I might use it on extra people. Like the jackbooted thugs that annoy me so hard by trying to steal my work."

Loki nodded. "That figures. Are you going to continue to work here?"

"I'd like to. Darcy needs me."

"True."

"Maybe if she's really dating someone I'd take a trip but right now she'd be here all alone with the animals."

"Good point. Go ready yourself. I'll find what I need and we'll start in a bit. No coffee. You can drink water when you're not drinking the tea." She grimaced. "Sorry." He grinned. "Has to happen."

"Damn. I'm going to be so grouchy with the headache." She went to clean up her room. She had been a bit messy.

Loki went to talk to Darcy. "Do you have anything like a focusing crystal?"

"Um...." She considered it as she sipped some coffee. "A big crystal ball paper weight that's pretty. A few smaller, older necklaces with carved crystals from when I was a teenager." She got up to find them for him and came back to put them on the table.

He looked at the necklaces. "Those are basically glass." He handed them back but picked up the ball paperweight. It was a pure crystal sphere that had streaks of purple and blue in it. "That may do." He tested it magically and nodded. "It's clean enough and pure enough. No fractures."

"Please don't break it. My grandmother bought it for me and she's dead."

"I don't think we'd have to," he admitted. "I could use a box or some other containment thing?"

"Jar?" she asked with a point at the waiting canning jars. He grinned, getting a set to go in there. Jane came out to put the crystal down and got something else to hand to him. Darcy grinned. "Thanks, Jane."

"Welcome. I know you're super concerned about that thing." Darcy carefully put it on the counter against the wall. That way no one could knock into it. Then she got up to go put it back in the special case so she could come back to eat breakfast.

Brock grinned at the crystal necklaces. They looked like the ones hippies put on their rearview mirrors. It figured Lewis had girlish jewelry still around. She came back and sat down to finish her breakfast. "So you're back to the modeling stuff?"

"I never really stopped. I just do it on instagram instead of getting paid for it." She shrugged a bit. "I got a bit blacklisted for turning in the bad agent and others." She grimaced then stuffed her mouth.

"You did the right thing. I checked, most of them are still in jail. Two of the agents got out on compassionate release for cancer but otherwise they're still there."

"They only charged about a fifth of the people involved though."

"That figures. People like that hide like hell."

"Including as a few well known producers." They shared a look and she shrugged, digging in again. "You did a great job. Thank you for breakfast."

"Welcome." He grinned.

She quit cutting and looked up at him. "I feel like Belle in Beauty and the Beast but it's my house and I'm not hostage." He snickered, grinning at her. "All I need are the dishes to start to speak."

"Don't tempt that guy Xander's people. They have magic over there and might be able to."

"Point." She finished up and got up to do the dishes. "I'm going to look in the attic to see what the stuff they left up there is."

"Okay. Bring the dogs so you're safe in case you run into a portal."

"I'm kinda worried that one says AIM in big, bright, yellow letters. But it's a normal box."

"Excuse me?" Frank asked, walking into the kitchen. "There's a what now?"

"It's a box in the attic. I was going to look things over."

"Let me get Barton to go help you." He went to find Clint, who was stretching on the porch. "Apparently there's a box with AIM written on the side in big yellow letters in the attic."

Clint looked at him. "That's kinda weird. I hope it's not them. We don't need supervillains today." He went inside to help Darcy, putting in his better hearing aids. Brock frowned when he spotted him doing that. "What?" Clint snorted, glaring at him.

"Those are your mission ones."

"How do you know?"

"They're skin colored. Your usual ones match your clothes thanks to Stark tech." He stared at him. "It was fairly obvious."

"Does everyone know that I have hearing problems?"

"That I don't know. I did. I went over your file with a fine toothed comb after the battle of Manhattan in case you stayed under control." He sipped his coffee, staring at him. "Gotta say, I was real impressed with how you made a new team and took down the helicarrier with six people. STRIKE wasn't that good at that time." Clint looked confused. "Even Pierce sighed that he couldn't convince you to come to HYDRA, Barton. You proved all the flaws in the system and Pierce had such bad heartburn he ate rice and milk for three days straight to cure it."

"They...."

"That incident, with the beginning statement that you were under control, is taught at all the intelligence academies. SHIELD's academy director crapped himself visibly when he saw what happened and how you did that because he helped design the helicarrier. He saw it on the post-incident review with a few of us, and Pierce. I was bodyguarding him that day." Clint slumped.

"Yeah, STRIKE Delta's almost mythical anymore to SHIELD. And the CIA," he admitted with a grin. "One of my former guys was and said that he was in awe that I had worked beside you. He'd only heard of you from the battle footage and the CIA academy. You and Romanoff were the boogeymen they didn't want to face."

Clint blushed. "Wow. Just...." He walked off shaking his head. "Huh. Okay. Thank you for letting me know that's why the rookies kept giving me stares and looks. Um, Darcy's touching the box that's named AIM."

"Great." He got more coffee to go help them. "Do you still have that listening device that hooks in?" Clint held it up. "Cool." They went up to the attic. "Let him listen first, Lewis. Just in case that is the freaks in bee suits."

Clint snickered. "They're supposed to be anti-rad suits but yeah." He put the device on and listened, then nodded. "Yeah, that's people talking. So either another portal or somehow we have a base like structure in the box." He picked it up and shook it, hearing people scream. "Not a portal. They reacted."

Brock got a few things from his pack and came back to look through the pinhole camera under the flaps. He had to cut a small hole in the tape. The box was well sealed. He let Clint see it.

"Someone shrank a whole lab in there."

"Are the people okay? I mean, how long have they been in there without water or food?" Darcy asked.

"Apparently," Clint agreed. "Not sure how." He got some of Jane's tape, making her complain but oh well. "Found a box full of AIM agents."

"Have more," Jane said, getting him a second roll of tape. "I hate AIM."

"Yup." He went up to help tape up the box. "We'll bring it back with us, Darcy."

"Thanks." She went to look at the other boxes. The dogs found a few mice for her and carried them outside. The birds out there would like them. Pepper barked at his parrot friend, who came down to eat one. He lapped her then ran up to help find more things. Brock had watched out the window with Darcy and Barton. They all grinned at the dogs, Darcy petting him. "Good boys." They went back to sniffing. Brock's dogs all sat down in front of a box. "Um, Rumlow?" She pointed. "That's what drug dogs do."

"Mine were trained against explosives but they're not scent dogs," he admitted, going to check it. "Wow. Clearly from Xander's world." He blinked a few times. "I have no idea how to undo that."

Clint pulled out his phone to call Stark. "Hey, it's me."

"How's the storm?" he asked.

"Stuck here for at least a few more days. Um, the dogs Darcy adopted from the portal that had Rumlow in it, they hit on an explosive." He let him see the outer area then slowly let him see the inner. "How do we disarm it, Tony?"

"Blue key," he said, sipping his glass of green stuff. "Then pull the battery in the bottom. It shouldn't be balance boobytrapped."

"Thank you," Brock said. He did that and found the battery, pulling out a knife to unscrew it. "I need to carry a screwdriver."

"All our tools are in the lab," Darcy said.

"Great, Foster probably needed them," Clint said absently. "Boys, find the others."

"Scan," Brock said in German. They went to do that for him. Two of the three hit on another box. Xander appeared with a blink. "Yours?"

"Yeah I've been using up here as storage for the bigger idiot things." He got into another box and the dogs all whined at that. He checked then Clint came over to disarm it. "I might need it for a last ditch. That's why I have those up here," he admitted, looking at Clint.

"If you need to blow up something that bad, that's a good choice," Clint agreed. "But we don't want to hurt Darcy or the dogs." He frowned. "Did you put that box of AIM?"

"Yeah, Willow and Andrew went against them because they came after Andrew." He grimaced but shrugged a bit. "Which made them immortal in the shorter forms. Not sure if they can get into it on their own though. They're trapped in the box and the box holds the shrinking spell steady so they can't get out."

"Yeah, that's on our side so it's going," Darcy said with a grin. "I don't need more bad guys around here, Xander. Sorry."

"Not like I mind, Darcy. They're dumb and asses. They actually thought Andrew was too weak to do anything to them." She shook her head with a sigh. "Yeah, Andrew nearly made it to evil overlord status and plenty who know him know not to mess with the girls because he'll go back there again. Even if he was nicer than his cohorts, all that broke him and as a hellmouth born and bred guy, he's practical above all else.

"He'll end them then huff that they made him and go have ice cream with the slayers." He moved to check that box then showed the guys the other ones he had stored. The one two of the dogs had hit on got disassembled but in a way that Xander could put it back together if he had to. Stark was amused, slightly, but he probably knew guys like Andrew, if not that world's version himself.

Darcy made an index list to write on the outside of the boxes. That way they knew where to find things. Clint added in a rating of how big the bomb was too on those ones. That way you didn't grab something to destroy a building when you only need a pinpoint thing. Or grab the green nuke instead of a lesser explosive since they found one in a back corner. Rumlow went over it carefully, making plans from it. Yeah, he could use that. Stark got the same thing and Clint knocked Rumlow out, taking the plans from him to shred. The box got put into a different closet to hide it from the asshole brigade they had.

Frank saw that hiding and looked at it once Barton had been gone for long enough. "Green nuclear device," he read. Then he shut the closet again and walked off. Yeah, he didn't need to know. Not that it wouldn't be nice to clean up Hell's Kitchen in New York with that thing but it'd hurt too many innocents. He definitely wasn't into that level of bad guy. Bomb, yes. Nuclear bomb? Not yet. Not even Fisk deserved that level of hell.

Clint grinned at him. "I'm going to use it on the next big HYDRA base we find. Teach them to mess up that way."

Frank patted him on the shoulder with a grin. "You have fun with that, Barton."

"I think I will." Rumlow glared at them but they grinned back.

***

Up in the SHIELD headquarters, an agent went to Hill. "Ma'am, I just finished the transcripts from Hawkeye's mission comm device going on for a few minutes."

"Did his other hearing aids brown out?"

"No, I think he wanted the for the delicacy of volume. They found a box full of agents of AIM. Somehow."

"Excuse me?" He handed the over and left her to handle it. She read it over carefully then called him. She held up the transcripts. "Your comm was on, Barton. AIM?" Clint nodded, telling her what he had seen. She blinked a few times. "Okay," she decided. "Why is that other realm pushing them over here?"

"So they don't use them until they have to."

She sighed. "Great. We want anything too large confiscated."

"No can do. Xander and his people will probably need at least some of those. Apparently they have the occasional demon realm that tries to invade or a huge demon show up to create hell."

She blinked again, nodding slowly. "Okay. Is anything above that level?"

"Something listed as a green nuclear device."

"Green?"

"Yeah. Stark thinks it might not blow radiation or something. I conferenced him in to tell us how to disarm things so they could be restored if necessary by Xander and his crew. All the destruction, less fallout afterward."

"Okay," she repeated slowly. "Was it just you?"

"Rumlow did the actual disarming but I knocked him out and took the plans from him before he could drool in pleasure on 'em."

She winced but nodded. "If it wasn't for that storm, I'd come get the box of AIM agents and that bomb. I trust Stark not to use it."

Clint grinned. "I'm bringing it back with me so he can make plans off it."

"I'll send him help. Fitz-Simmons is nearby and I trust them."

"They were nice geeks," Clint agreed. "Did you know that they teach about me when I was under control?" he asked.

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes. As a way to warn them that it's possible they'll be put under some sort of control and how to break it if possible and also that it brought out skills you hid from us. Also, if they have to fall into an Avengers level battle they know you know how to plan so they'll actually listen to you as a field commander."

"Oh. I didn't get that part."

"Barton, you're like the sexiest boogeyman most of them would like to have fuck them up in the academy," she said bluntly. He grinned at that. "We made sure you look human though." She hung up and called Stark. "That bomb?"

"The green nuke? Yeah, I'm getting that. No you can't have it."

"I'm sending Fitz-Simmons to look it over for us. They're totally trusted as they're the director's science team."

He snorted. "I don't care what Coulson wants, Hill."

"Tough. We need plans just in case we run into one in the field, Stark. If one person somewhere figured it out, another could." He shrugged. "Fitz-Simmons will remind you of Banner and Foster only they're like mystically bound twins some days."

"Great. Yeah, I've heard soulmate rumors about them."

"Exactly and if someone like Rumlow figures it out we're screwed."

"Fine. I'll let you claim the box of mystically shrunken AIM guys too." He hung up.

She shuddered. "I have no idea how to take them out. Do you stomp on them like mice?" She went to make that report and find Fitz-Simmons in the lab. "People." The geeks all looked at her. "Fitz, Simmons, I have an assignment for you in a few days with Stark. We ran into things from another realm." They groaned. "Go, make us detailed notes. Just in case." They nodded. "Should be a few days though. Barton's got eyes on it when he's not playing with the dogs." She walked off to go back to he desk.

The geeks shared a look and then shrugged at each other and got back to work with the other geeks. They'd find out later how bad it was.

***

Darcy was getting fidgety thanks to the storm and Frank was the only one who saw it. She was staring out the window since it wasn't dry enough on the porch, rocking back and forth slightly. She had music playing. He walked in and took her hand, spinning her out then pulling her back. "Work out the energy, Lewis."

"You're kinda taken, Frank."

"Not with me," he said with a smirk. "Smartass. Just dance for now."

"You can dance?"

"Yeah, I did a few times with my wife when she was in that fidgety state." She nodded, dancing with him for now. It did calm her down to feel someone was there. He spun her again and it was nicer. She was calmer at least. They lasted through a few more songs before Clint came in to take his place. Frank grinned and let him.

Darcy looked up at him. "Mission?" she guessed.

"Ballroom dancing, yeah." He smirked. "With Natasha, who steps on my feet. She's great at ballet but ballroom she trips because she's going backwards."

"That's nice to know."

"She made herself go back to ballet class and work on her footwork. Took up fencing for a bit too."

"That figures. I can see Natasha with a sword."

"I've seen her handling a broadsword. Tiny little pissed off redhead with a huge sword. I made an anime joke and nearly got gutted by her before she went off on the other one. Though she did apologize for missing later on." She gave him a squeeze. "I realized earlier this is like a movie."

"If it was, we'd hate each other until we had a fight then fucked really hard," she quipped with a smirk for him.

"Not that sorta movie. I was thinking more about horror movies but Jane hasn't been killed yet for being the blonde." She laughed, finishing her relaxing and leaning her head on his shoulder. He grinned at her, going back to dancing with her. "At least the monkeys aren't evolving to take over the earth." She poked him but stayed relaxed.

Brock glanced in as he walked past on the way to the bathroom. Personally he thought it was like one of the boring books they read in high school english class but Darcy wasn't in pre-victorian clothes and wandering around the house in her wedding dress, broken minded and waiting on her fiancé to come home. Planet of the Apes, well, they had monkeys but not the sort to take over. They'd hate to have to feed themselves again. Darcy had spoiled them a lot.

***

That night, Darcy was curled up in bed with the dogs on the floor. For some reason they didn't want to nap on the bed or in the blanket fort. She had offered to curl up with them in there and they wouldn't. So no telling, they were being very cat-like dogs tonight. She settled down to listen to the storm that was still going. One more day of rain then the guys would be gone probably. So she'd be alone with Jane, the dogs, and the monkeys.

Downstairs, Clint was wandering around the house looking at things. Stark had it furnished in a comfortable style that was like Darcy's more eclectic but fun style. But something was missing. He sent a text to Stark about Darcy's former apartment in the tower. Where were her stuffed friends? Or the wacky sexy leg lamp? Or even her lava lamp. Stark said everything had been sent but he'd make sure. So Clint went browsing in the empty rooms. And then the storage areas. There it was. Darcy had written 'Darcy's old stuff' on the boxes. It was clearly not Jane's handwriting since it was readable. He looked in the boxes then brought them inside to figure out where she'd probably want them. He stubbed his toe and that woke up Frank, who came to see what he was doing. He showed him and got a nod back. So they decided to do some rearranging.

Rumlow came out shaking his head at a grunt from Frank dropping a box onto the table. "How can I help?" he asked quietly.

"Keep her stuffed friends from the dogs," Clint said quietly. Jane was still awake and she came out to stare at them. "She's lost herself."

"I noticed," she agreed. "She's feeling grown up again. The last time she did that, she bought regular pantyhose that gave her a friction burn and infection." The guys stared at her. "First, go put her lights up. That'll help a lot. Make her a fort room? We'll do the heavier stuff tomorrow while she's wandering around feeling lost." She went back to her room.

The guys shared a look, getting into the box marked 'lights'. The leg lamp got reassembled and the other two guys stared at it. "Did she buy out Spensers?" Brock guessed.

Frank grinned. "She did say she liked that store." He found a box that made him blush and put it aside. "I don't think those hang up." They took those and some material she had packed to put up a great fort room for her. Large 'tent' area with all the extra pillows in the house in there. It was at least four times bigger than the one she had set up to soothe the dogs. Her lights went up in there. Clint snuck in to put her lava lamp in her bedroom, waking the dogs to stare at him. He grinned, winked, and plugged it in. Darcy quit shifting in her sleep and moaned in happiness. So she was having a problem with lack of light. Going from a city to extremely rural could do that to you. He went back to the fort room. "The lamp made her quit wiggling in her sleep," he said quietly.

"Yeah, takes a while to get used to the quiet and no lights," Frank agreed with a nod. "The stuffed things? I doubt we want to nail them up."

"Shelf all the way around the room at human height so the dogs don't get 'em?" Clint suggested, looking at Rumlow.

"Only Pepper had a stuffed toy," he admitted. "Your two?"

"Saved. Rescued." That got a nod from Rumlow. "About chest height or is that too low?"

"Boys," Brock called. It brought his dogs. The other two followed. He held up a toy. One of his started to bounce. "Not yours. This is hers. Your human mother's toys. Not dog toys." That one tried to get it but Brock stared. She slunk down so he got them the approved dog toy version. That made him happier. "Okay, so maybe eye height instead." The other two nodded, planning on how to do that. They heard Darcy get up and the dogs raced back to check on her. "They love 'er at least." They got back to work hanging lights and making Darcy a nesting area.

***

Darcy woke up warm, not alone, and the dogs were on her too. She blinked at the guy next to her. "Did you crawl in, Clint?"

"Just now, when the dogs said you were getting up." He leaned down next to her. "You seem to have lost yourself somewhere on the way down here, lady." He smirked. "We put your lights up and made you a permanent fort room." He handed over the cup of coffee he had made for her. She sat up slightly to sip it with a moan. He cuddled her. "It's like you're some weird alternate universe, uptight, suburban Barbie Darcy."

"I...I own a house."

"Yeah, and that doesn't change you, Darcy. You don't have to act all grown up just because you own a house with monkeys." He smirked a tiny bit. "Jane remembered you doing this before with some pantyhose?"

"I hated those things." She took another sip and moaned. "Thank you for using the half-and-half."

"Welcome, princess." He cuddled her. "We're putting the stuffed friends up on a shelf so the dogs can't snatch them." He petted the staring dog. "It's all right. She's cuddly this morning." Darcy smiled and petted them all. All the dogs went back to sleep. He grinned at her again. "You can be you, Darcy. We like you for you. That uptight you was stressing out for no reason."

"What happens if the money runs out?" she asked quietly.

"Babe, you're not going to be broke anytime soon. You've got a yearly allowance from the settlement with SHIELD. I had Pepper make *sure* Hill set it up right. The few agents who don't know that we screwed up, well they'll probably hear the gossip." He snuggled her against him again. "If so, we'll figure it out when it gets thin in about fifteen years. By then, the monkeys will be thinned out again at least once so you're not buying all the fruit in county for them. Jane might be doing something in space. We'll figure it out.

"Maybe by then you'll have a husband, or at least a boyfriend that's a permanent fixture around here, to deal with any necessary repairs." She nodded, finishing that cup of coffee. "We found your twinkle lights, made you a nice fort room, and we'll put up the shelves now that you're awake." She looked up at him again. "We didn't want you to wake up to drilling or screwing noises." She giggled. "Mind out of the gutter, babe. Though not sure if it wouldn't help Jane's bad mood."

"It could."

He pointed at the box he had put down for her. "I didn't do more than open the box for a second then close it and put it in here."

"I didn't want to pull them out while you guys were here. I don't want to seem like I'm offering."

He smirked. "If you're offering, someone might take you up, but you're not the only one in this house who's masturbated apparently. Loki apparently does it nightly." She blushed, shaking her head. "I'm pretty sure Jane has too since she came out blushing the other morning when she caught me in the kitchen." He gave her a squeeze. "And if you wanna hit on someone, hit on someone!"

"You're all taken."

"Well, kinda. Rumlow's not that I know of." He shrugged. "He's not for keeping but he's not *horrible* from what I've heard talked about around the base. But definitely not for keeps." He smirked again. "You making him slower in a few days would help us arrest him."

"I'm not going to use my magical vajayay for that."

"All up to you, princess." He leaned over to drop a kiss on top of her head. "Come see what your guys have done?" She nodded, carefully getting out to not disturb the dogs. They got up to follow her anyway. She walked into the next room, gasping in awe. Frank grinned at her. "See, all your usual things." She took a stuffed friend off the shelf to hug. Pepper stared at the stuffed friend. "That's hers. You have your own and you can't touch hers, Pepper," he warned. Pepper ran to get her stuffed toy and brought it back, cuddling with the human so they could both have stuffed friend time. Darcy had arranged the pillows into a nest area and it was comfortable. The dogs went back to their nap while being petted. She pulled Frank down to hug him too.

"Welcome, Princess." He and Clint finished putting up the shelves. Rumlow brought in a few new boxes for them.

"The blue one is in my bedroom please," she said. He took that one in there for her. "Thanks, Rumlow."

"Welcome."

Jane came in with more coffee for everyone and looked around then grinned at Darcy. "This is nice. Great job, guys. I'm going to be spending the day meditating thanks to Loki. Need me for anything?" she asked, sounding hopeful to get out of the meditation.

"Nah, we can do it," Frank assured her. "Have fun with those two." She pouted but nodded, heading down to get into the meditative work. Maybe it'd help her with her current problem in the lab.

Darcy looked out at them. "She doesn't like that sort of thing but it's necessary this time I guess." She snuggled in with the dogs, getting a lick from Pepper. "Thanks, baby girl." She petted her until they both fell back asleep. The guys shared a smirk and finished up, going to decorate the other rooms for her too. Clint had to order more twinkling lights but that happened sometimes. He sent an email to Pepper too, making sure she had overlooked Hill's shoulder with Darcy's trust. She had and made sure it was still fine.

So things would go on. Even if Loki was staring at Jane like she was a juicy steak that would piss off Thor for him to touch.

Darcy could handle this life, maybe. She hoped.

The end.

The End.

voracity is the author of 70 other stories.

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