Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup


Jerry got a message and winced. "I can tell 'em, Fred. Thank you." He typed that in and hurried up the hall. "Huge problem," he said as he walked in. Danny looked up. "Where's Steve? And get Xander's guardian here."

"It's another demon invasion?" Chin asked as he grabbed his phone.

"Worse. It's a Willow-mergency according to the LA team. She apparently turned the whole SGC into animals thinking that they were going to bring harm onto the demon communities."

Danny stared at him oddly. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah," Jerry said with a nod. "They're starting to recall everyone. They captured Buffy and Willow to make her change them back and Buffy can take their places until she dies."

"Great," Danny agreed. He looked at Chin, who nodded. "The kid?"

"Had a vision and called his uncle, who was off base fussing at Jolene. That whole team's the only one on base until older ones get back. David's already packing for the trip home. He was going to show up in an hour to hand Xander over." Danny nodded at that. "Not sure about Steve, he just grunted in displeasure since he was on the beach."

"It is his day off," Danny quipped. "Great way to spend it."

Jerry looked at him. "Who gets the kid?"

"Supposedly Jake but if he's back there, then probably me I guess. No clue. Yet. We can ask when they get here."

Steve stomped in first, looking pissed off. "What happened?" Jerry pulled up the chat room in there, getting a new sit-rep from Fred. Steve read it and growled. "Someone needs to end that witch."

Xander strolled in, patting him on the arm. "Have fun with the aliens. David said to watch out for the bimbos who haven't had unrelated sperm for decades." He looked at David as he walked in with two bags. "So, where am I staying?"

"I've got a couch if we need to," Danny said, patting him on the head. "Not much different than taking custody visitation with Gracie."

Steve looked up. "I haven't been recalled yet."

"Bull," David said, handing over the letter he had been handed. "From the local base. They'll be expecting you tonight. They knew I'd have to show up here to hand over the kid and had to search out three other retired SGC people."

Steve looked at the official orders, shaking his head. "Yeah, we can do that. Two weeks?"

"It says Jake's still human," Jerry said. "His whole team was helping Pooch with colic issues. He's about the only one. They did pull Buffy and Willow so she could correct her problems and Buffy could die first."

"That's going to suck since the only other slayer is in jail," Xander said dryly. "And only Faith's death will call another slayer."

"That whole system sucks," Steve told him.

"Yeah but they did it back when humans were grunting and pointing. Not like they cared about human rights back then."

"True," Danny agreed. "Okay, I got 'im, David."

"Thanks, Danny. Be safe. Let us go make sure the universe doesn't come to coo and pet all the furry things." He walked off. "Meet you on the plane, Steve."

"Yup." He looked at the team. "I can fill out the paperwork before I head. It'll only take me ten minutes to pack anyway. Be safe while I'm in Colorado." He looked down at Xander. "Please behave and don't do anything to make Danny scream, okay?"

"I usually try."

"Please do. And stay out of the weapons, kiddo." He patted him on the head and looked at Danny before leaving to fill out leave paperwork in the main office so he could go pack.

Danny looked down. "It's not so bad. You all packed up?"

"If David didn't take it out of the trunk, I have no idea," he admitted with a shrug. "Or you can come stay at the house. It's bigger than your apartment."

"We'll see later." He patted him on the head. "Go check for your bag." Xander went to do that, dragging it back inside with him. Danny looked at Chin. "Okay, so where were we?"

"New idiot trying to move in to take over and getting his people killed."

"The putz, yeah." They got back to work with Xander helping around the edges of the office. "Do your school stuff, kiddo. That way you're not bored."

"Ewww." But he did get into it anyway. He was already bored.

***

Steve and David got taken to the base and dropped off with a few others. David got them signed in and down the elevator.

Steve looked around the elevator. "So much faster when they do the thing from the ship," he said casually.

"Yeah, we're far underground." They stepped off into Pooch herding people to the mess hall. "Lieutenant Commander McGarrett and I'm a Staff-Sergeant, Pooch."

"Good deal," he agreed, marking them off. "Go to the mess, Clay's highest ranked at the moment until they get Sheppard in from the city." He grinned. "The kid?"

"My teammates," Steve admitted. "He's used to kids."

"That's fine. Jolene said he was really nice when they got together to figure out how to calm the kid down." Another elevator let out a few more people. "Mess hall after you check in. Names?"

David and Steve walked off, David waving at a few he knew and Steve greeting one he knew with a hand shake. He settled them on a table and got them coffee. He grimaced as he drank. "Some things never change."

"Including the coffee in that machine," Clay quipped but he smirked. "How many more?" he asked, holding his earpiece. "That's fine. They can be briefed when they show up. Get Roque to do it, Pooch." He hung up. "People." They stared at him. "I'm Colonel Franklin Clay, of SG-26. Special retrieval team and special ops out of the Army." A few nodded. "As of this moment, this base is in quarantine but everyone who can be recalled is being recalled. Thanks to a witch with a huge chip on her shoulder, the whole base are furry or some other form of cute life form."

He held up one tabby cat at the laughter. "This is Colonel Mitchell. She's here to turn them all back while her friend helps her with that duty. Thankfully Atlantis was not compromised as far as we know. Sheppard will be in charge once he finishes a personnel check over there. As of this moment, we have to hold this base steady, hold the ring safe, and get any teams that were across it back. We have two teams missing and one other one that was on leave in Las Vegas.

"We're still checking whorehouses to find them," he finished in a bland tone of voice. "As of right now, we are not anticipating any problems, but this is the SGC and we've all learned never to say never. Unfortunately, Walter is now a bunny rabbit and no one I know can use the gate to check on those teams. That's a first priority and guarding the base just in case the usual happens. I'd hate the Ori to show up now."

"We've had a ton of gou'ald sightings," Steve told him. "Six in Hawaii within a week."

"Fuck," Clay said, staring at him. "Seriously?" A few people nodded. "Figured out why yet?"

"Not totally," David said. "They were mostly after the kid."

"Great! Who has the kid?"

"Danny," Steve said with a smirk. "I doubt anyone's going to get past him."

"No, your teammate's got short guy syndrome and he's a brawler. Plus Xander can use his artillery probably." He put the cat down and it jumped down to go nose another one. "Anyone know anything about animals?" A few raised their hands and came up to check the animals over plus set up litter boxes and where the dogs could pee and poop. Plenty had already had accidents since dog and cat intestines were shorter and smaller in diameter - it had to go somewhere and it came out in various places.

"Did we lose anyone?" another one asked.

"Two fish were found, not sure what their condition was but as soon as we could we got them into water just in case. They're in the infirmary with Doctor Keller, who we summoned from the city. I didn't realize that woman could swear at all without sounding girlish. Apparently the city's marines taught her how." He looked around. "We're going to set up guard rotations. The team dealing with calling the others is going to guard the gate area for now. Someone pray really hard at whatever gods they believe in not to have an emergency."

"Why did she do this?" Steve asked.

"She thought they were going to bring too much attention on the peaceful ODN community," Clay said, staring at him. "So she wanted to protect them by what she said. She and Summers are locked in a lab with Colonel Carter the mouse and Radek Zalenka the tweety bird. He was visiting." A few of the soldiers winced. "McKay's screaming is holding up the personnel checks, yeah," he agreed. "All right, someone set up rotations and bunking situations. I know we have some around here somewhere but Walter did all that too. We need to make sure he's got an assistant."

"The city has a Walter-like person," one said. "Chuck does it and used to be his assistant here."

"Good! Get me him to make all the arrangements." They nodded, texting Sheppard. That helped when Sheppard showed up a few minutes later with a few people. Clay saluted. "Sheppard."

"Clay." He shook his hand. "Go handle the routine things. Chuck, dial out to check any away teams just in case, get rooms assigned. Lorne, McKay, figure out how to undo this."

"Rosenburg's trapped in a lab with Summers and the animals of Carter and Zalenka," Clay reported. "We're still missing about twelve to fifteen recalled people and one team that's on R&R that we can't find yet."

"Decent," Sheppard agreed. "Sorry to cancel your retirement, people, but it's going to get stupid soon. Let's do what O'Neill would want us to and handle it." They nodded. "This is Chuck, the city's gate tech. He's our version of Walter. This is Evan Lorne, my 2iC. He'll be going back to the city to send over soldier teams we'll still need." He looked around. "At least it's not the wraith, people. Feel really happy it's just an Ori threat."

"McGarrett said they've seen gou'ald," Clay said.

"That's creepy," he said, looking at him. Steve nodded. "They after the kid?" Steve nodded again. "Well, fuck them. If they show up here, deal with it and then tell me how many itty, bitty pieces you made the worm, people." A few laughed. "We don't need that right now."

Clay held his earpiece. "Repeat that, Pooch?" He winced. "Sure, you can bring the head of the Joint Chiefs into the mess hall since he's here." He hung up and sighed. "He wanted to talk to O'Neill." He looked and picked his puppy self up to look at. "He'll probably be less amused than I am." The man walked in. "General. I'd salute but it'd mean I'd lose my grip on General O'Neill." He held him out.

The general took the dog to look at then looked at him. "What the hell?" he demanded.

"A witch was worried about how much attention this was bringing to the peaceful communities so she changed them into cute things, sir," Clay said. "I've recalled some of our people, had the witch and her slayer friend kidnaped so she can undo her own stupid shit, and we're setting up guard rotations to hold the mountain steady until she undoes it. Or maybe she dies to undo it. I've already had volunteers to make her see the error of her stupid, General."

The general looked at the dog, who doggy grinned at him. "It figures," he said, putting him down. "All right, I was going to talk to O'Neill about future staffing issues. So let's see where we can handle things. Sheppard?" He nodded. "At least you're in command here anyway. Brief me in a few minutes. I'll be in that meeting room that overlooks the gateway." He went that way rubbing his forehead.

Clay looked at Sheppard, who nodded to the doorway. "Go make a full report on everything you've done," he said calmly. "Let's get things set up calmly, and pray that we don't get any problems, people. I heard the SGC was insane before I went to Pegasus," he finished with a quip. "O'Neill never mentioned this though." A few laughed and they got things set up with military precision within a few minutes. Sheppard and Clay went to make the reports. Now the president was there as well and looking amused. Clay pulled Willow in to explain herself with Roque following behind her with a knife already in hand in case he needed to use it on her.

Four hours later, the lead Joint Chief and the President stood in front of the temporary troops. "People, she's very sorry but she did have a point that the peaceful demon communities were getting attacked. None of us thought this was the best idea," the president said sarcastically. "But she didn't have any other ideas because she's not the creative sort." He looked around then at his general, then at Sheppard again. "As of now, you're in charge until she can start turning people back. She's got an idea of how, and will be working on it once she figures out where she can tap into some native magic as the mountain is fairly weak in that area apparently. She thinks it won't take more than a week or so."

"Can we paddle her?" John Sheppard asked. "Please, sir?"

"Granted," he said with a smile. "Apparently her magic addiction is getting out of hand again and she could use a good mentor who could help her with that. The coven they sent those with addictions to hasn't been able to get through to her yet." He grimaced but let it clear up after a second. "Just don't sic McKay on her, Sheppard. We don't need the mountain screamed down on top of all of you." He looked at the general. "Anything else to add?"

"Two things," he said, facing the troops. "Thank you for filling in. It shouldn't take too long. We hope. Hopefully we won't have a lot of problems until the others are returned to human. And probably spend a night drunk to be honest." He cleared his throat. "I was going to offer O'Neill some new troops to rotate some of you that wanted back in normal duties out but he was explaining why it's not always the best idea."

"Some of us do think that we've faced down the end of the world so we're going to laugh at the new threats," John Sheppard admitted. "We've seen it a few times, sir. When you deal with aliens, the Taliban isn't so bad. At least they don't eat us."

The president laughed, nodding at that. "That's true, they don't eat people. Them or that new group. I'd be less scared of them for that fact myself." He looked at his general again.

"We've seen people that had that reaction and we've got some people who can handle it," he agreed, looking at his present team there. "Colonel Clay, are your people settled?"

"Yes, sir, and Jolene said if you try to move her and Pooch again she's going to skin you alive this time."

The general smiled. "That's a strong wife. All you boys and girls need spouses like her." He looked around then at Clay. "Are you going to have that same problem?"

"We've already seen the armpits of the planet," Jensen said with a grin and a small wave at him. "Being here isn't any less sane than we're used to, General."

"Fine."

"Most of us would probably be willing to retire from here, unless things got stupid," Clay added.

"That's good news," the president agreed. "Looking at your files, it's got to be safer." He looked at Jensen, who had burst out laughing. "Hysterical reaction?"

"Probably thinking back to the cannibal cult we had to stop because they were trying to get in our way about a month before we got sent here, sir," Roque said, swatting Jensen hard on the head. "Stop it. Before they decide you're more nuts than you really are."

"Not the cult, but the wanna be temple that was trying to return to the old ways," Jensen said with a grin. "Aztec and Mayan rituals glomped together because they couldn't find a pure source of information."

"Why did you deal with them?" the president asked.

"Because they tried to take us hostage to sacrifice, sir. I pointed out we weren't virgins or proper sacrifices but they said we were convenient so clearly the Old Gods had sent us to be taken out. Then there was a knife fight on top of the temple. Then we got to hike an extra thirty miles to get back on mission point to take out a drug dealer. Which led us back to the same group so we had to come back and find their weapons and explosives." Clay was moaning while shaking his head. "I can't wait until we run into their group off-world so we can compare them, sir."

The general shook his head, looking at Clay. "That was a brief interference?" Clay nodded. "Was there worse, Colonel?"

"We handed in reports, sir, but were told to stop drinking and to get back to work before something improbable killed us," Clay said. He glared at Jensen, which got him smacked by Roque again. He looked at the two higher ups. "That wasn't the weirdest. Nearly but not that bad."

"Great," the Joint Chiefs Chairman said sarcastically. "Do other teams get into what you used to, Colonel?"

"If so, I pity them a lot, sir," Clay quipped with a slightly smug look. "I doubt they can do crazy as much as my Losers did."

"Just don't send them to Hawaii again please," Steve quipped from the doorway. "Sirs, the local governor is at the gateway wondering why we're importing people suddenly. He's worried it's another attack we're trying to cover up. I told him there's higher ups here and we're changing troops. He said I'm nobody and he'll speak to the people in charge or he'll have the base closed. So he's on his way down with MP's who're willing to zat him just the once. ETA of about three minutes." He walked off.

Clay nodded. "Hawaii does get an abnormally big amount of screwy people," Jensen quipped with a grin for Clay. "They must all love to go on vacation and some decide to stay."

"I nearly did after we went out to the play with the kid last time," Roque admitted. "Nice beaches, sane women who don't want to date us, and nice bars."

The president looked at him then at Clay. "You're related to O'Neill's nephew?"

"My tech ops guy is," he said with a point at Jensen. "The kid's mother was his stepsister."

"Ah. O'Neill told me that one of his uncles was on active duty, that's the reason for the split." Clay and Jensen both nodded. "It's good he's got some strong role models." The governor got walked in by MP's. "In a minute," he said. He looked at Sheppard. "I want bi-daily updates," he ordered. "I'm to know of anything too dangerous or weird. We're still waiting on emergency protocols being written up."

"The few of us colonels who were working on those have them ready for O'Neill's approval, but one, and he's had them on his desk for a few days, sir," Sheppard said. "We've got most of them worked out but we had to see who was available for the other odd situation you wanted one for."

"Granted. As soon as you can please." Sheppard nodded. "Good. General, anything else?"

"Not yet. Boys, and ladies, do what you can and let us know if there's a problem. There are local bases just in case you need extra people. They know what classified means I'm sure." He looked around. "O'Neill," he called. The dog lifted his head so he picked him up. "Let's see if we can put you on first to get changed. I doubt science is going to help so much this time. Sheppard, does your city have anything?"

"McKay's looking, sir. He misses having his second-in-command since he's presently a songbird. Which is odd because Dr. Zalenka used to raise pigeons."

The general nodded. "Scientists are often weird." He walked off with the dog. "Let me talk to that witch again."

The president looked at Sheppard. "If you find a beam or something that'll turn them, don't use it on Congress," he told him. John Sheppard just smiled at him for that order. "Thank you. Let's go talk," he told the governor. "We can do it on the way back up. Being so far underground is creepy. I feel like I'm in a mass grave." He walked him off telling him what had happened. The general and he were going to stop at the local bases to warn them something weird had gone on, weirder than usual anyway, and they might be asked to fill in for a few hours. Just in case the earth got attacked. Aliens did have shitty timing about some things.

Sheppard looked at the people. "All right, let's set rotations of guard teams. Those unaffiliated with SG teams we'll stick you with one temporarily. If there's any problems, come find me. I'll be banging my head on the general's desk for a few minutes while prompting my geeks to look faster. Before I have to do this for good." He walked off frowning. Atlantis was just a *bit* more sane than the regular mountain, even with people eating aliens.

***

Danny looked at Xander the next morning, shaking his head. "Those don't fit."

"The ones that do are in the wash. It'll take at least an hour more to dry," he said with a pout. "Sorry. You can go do Danny stuff."

"Yeah, not leaving you here alone, kiddo." He patted him on the head. "Breakfast is on the table. Go eat." He made some more coffee and went to check on the washer. He looked inside then changed the setting. That made it go faster. Then the dryer could work. He texted Chin about this and got back a 'nothing's going on yet' message. So that was nice. Of course, he came out and found two women trying to prompt Xander to eat. "Ladies," he said sarcastically. "And I use that term lightly. Why did you break in here to mother the boy?"

"They're wormy people," Xander said, stuffing his mouth. "They want me to eat special stuff to grow up faster. I tried to tell them it's a spell." He shrugged.

"If they could undo the thing that made you a kid it'd be okay," Danny agreed. "Ladies, shoo. Now." They pulled weapons. Steppuppy showed up and bit one, making the other one scream and they both fled. Danny called them in so someone could pick up the poor possessed people then gave Steppuppy a few pieces of sausage. It made her a happy head-ripping dog. "Eat, don't pet." Xander nodded, getting back to his eating. Though he did run in to change clothes into the dryer when the washer buzzed. Danny went in to put it onto the right setting. "Takes half the time and if you're careful it won't shrink anything."

"Sorry, my old dryer only went to that setting." He shrugged. "I know it works."

"I've had a few machines like that," Danny promised. "A washer with the timer broken too so it'd keep washing if you didn't come in to change it." Xander grinned and went back to eating what his dog hadn't stolen from his plate. Danny got more coffee and settled in to wait on the kid to have clothes that fit. Patrol officers showed up to let him verify those two women were the ones that had broken in and Danny agreed one was and the other had a bite from their friendly dog-like being. One of the officers looked at the dog then just backed away slowly.

"She's nice," Xander called. "She protects me. And sometimes eats bad guys."

"That's find, kiddo," Danny agreed with a grin. "We gave her a few we couldn't catch." He grinned at the patrol guys. "She likes to rip the head off drug dealers too."

"I saw about that in the news," the backing up officer agreed, taking a few more steps back. "We'll get these two booked in and look for the other one." They drove back to the station so they could report on that dog, and the kid, and the possessed beings. They'd have to call Colorado to see how to deworm the people. McGarrett nicely handed his phone over to someone who'd know better when they asked him who to call about that problem.

***

Danny and Xander walked onto the crime scene, Danny grimacing. "Wow, that's nice."

"Staged," Xander said with a head tip. "People don't naturally fall in that position." Max, the ME, stared at him. "What! They don't!" He shrugged and grinned. "I've knocked more than one person over and they never fall in that position. Legs aren't supposed to lay that way naturally unless you're really acrobatic."

Danny looked, nodding. "That's a good point. She'd have to be flexible to get in that position if she was alive and dead people don't lay with their legs bent that way. Interesting. Xander, you're not supposed to help."

"Fine. Then I won't mention that I see pink cloth in that bush," he said with a point. Chin went to look, getting a scene tech over to pick up the panties. Xander looked then shook his head. "Too big for her but so is the dress." The scene tech glared at him. "It is. It's too big. Girls don't wear slouchy dresses, it looks wrong."

Max shook his head with a sigh. "He is correct, the victim does appear to be redressed." He stared at the kid. "Still, you're too young to be here."

"Danny wouldn't let me stay home alone," he shot back with a grin. He ran off suddenly, squealing to pounce someone. He grinned at the person. "Hi, Miss Mage."

"Harris," she complained, pulling him off her back. "Why did you do that?"

"Because you're really near the new family." He pointed. "And that might be a bad thing?"

She grimaced, looking at them. "If I were looking for a new playtoy I'd take either of the cute ones in but the other one's not my type." She looked down at him. "I'm here looking for my cousin. I was sent to talk to her about her possible dabbling with a coven."

"Three covens on this island," Xander told her. "Two have some ties to the peaceful communities. The other's at the college and seems more like the one at UC Hellmouth, more into the Goddess than the skills She grants."

"Interesting. Have you talked to them?"

"Virtually stalked," he admitted. "Just in case since you know how things happen around me."

"Point. That's how I met you." She looked down at him. "Where is Rosenburg? She's still clouding your aura."

"She's been taken hostage to cure the whole base full of cute animals," Xander said dryly, grinning up at her. "She said she was trying to spare the peaceful communities more attention so she turned most of the SGC into animals." The mage burst out laughing, shaking her head. She hugged him. "It's not funny. Two of them turned into fish from what my uncle said. He got recalled and my uncle that's a general is a dog. I'm *so* willing to start the line to smite her this time."

She looked at him, patting him on the head. "Many of us would like to get into that line, Xander." She grinned. "Let me find my niece. Someone told me she'd be here today." He pointed. "No...she's been in some pictures she sent me though. Interesting. People, her name was Bethany Kingship. She's a friend of my niece I'm here to meet. I got summoned to talk to her about her dabbling. They were friends of the dorm sharing variety I believe."

Danny walked over. "That's good to know. It could help us find out who killed her. Can you contact your niece so we can make sure she's all right? The kid doesn't believe in coincidences."

"He wouldn't. Too many weird things happen around him," she agreed. She called her niece's phone, getting a guy. "Is my niece there please," she asked politely. "Her aunt Kendra." She listened. Her niece was not sounding normal. "Niece, someone told me to show up in a park right about now to talk to you about your skill set in my areas. Yes I am. Where are you?" She looked over. "Because I believe I found your roommate and there's officers here who need you to talk to about what happened to her, niece. Yes, please. Now, Dara. Thank you, dear. Yes, I'm at that park. Thank you." She hung up. "An hour."

"That's fine," Danny agreed. "Did you date the mini guy there?" he asked with a grin. She had to be scary if she liked Xander so he'd turn on some charm to make her less wary about him arresting her.

She kitty smirked at him. "He used to strip for me. I had a totally important spell go kerplewy on me so I went to find some mind numbing entertainment. His hips were very good at that." She smiled at Xander, petting him again then looking at the uncle. "He's very good at distracting people when he wants to be. He salved that problem for over a week of making me squeal as he teased me but I didn't want oral sex or any sex so it was all teasing. I tipped him nicely."

"It let me buy the car so I could get back to Sunnydale," Xander quipped, grinning up at her. "If you're around when I'm nearly an adult again I'll gladly tease you some more."

She laughed. "If we both make it that long, I'll search you out." She winked. "Let us get out of this depressing area, gentlemen." They followed her to a nearby bench so she could tell him about Xander's stripping until her niece got there. She had to smite the incubus her niece had been sleeping with, but that happened sometimes.

Xander waved at the pile of former demon goo. "I'm better at it and don't suck their energy from them. You're just a waste of sexual energy. Even *Anya* wouldn't sleep with you, dude."

The mage burst out laughing, cuddling him. "That's very true. What did happen to dear Anya? I enjoyed her work when I let her have my ex-husband."

"She's now been turned and is with some cult in Texas," he said dryly. "She left me all her sex toys she didn't want to bring with her. Danny got really red in the face about them. Especially the expensive ones."

Kendra smiled at him. "She had a museum worthy collection that he probably hasn't seen as they're in a museum in Lebanon in the back areas." She looked at her niece. "Let us talk after they ask you about your friend Bethany."

"I saw her this morning for breakfast," she said, looking confused.

"We found her dead at nine this morning," Danny said, sounding worried. "I'm sorry."

She flopped down on the sidewalk, staring at him. "Can't be. I had breakfast with her until nine-thirty. I was running late so I had to leave suddenly for class." Danny showed her the picture they had taken of her face. "Yes, that's her. Then who did I have breakfast with?" She looked at her aunt.

"It wasn't me, but it could have been a succubus that took her form," she admitted. "We can check the lunch area and her dorm room if you're willing to identify her and let them tell her parents, dear."

"She could probably use a bracelet like Willow made when she heard about sex demons and worried they were going to come after her for being a virgin on the hellmouth," Xander said.

"That's a good idea," Kendra agreed, smiling at her niece. "I can teach her to make one or make her one if she's unable to. Come, let's talk with the nice police officer. The cute one is still waiting." She pointed. "He's adorable."

"Unfortunately he's got a girlfriend who's a doctor," Danny said with a smile for her. "She's really nice but a bit mean."

"Hmm. Well, maybe the other cute one then. Never can have too much cuteness in your life." She looked at Xander. "Then I'll go slap Rosenburg upside the head and help her turn those poor soldiers back before they get stuck. Too long in an animal form and you have to relearn how to be human. I did that to two boyfriends but it did make them better men." She stood up, walking off with her niece and Danny. Xander went with Chin back to the office after Danny waved him off.

Xander looked up at Chin, smiling at him. "She's really nice for a mage. Most are pretty paranoid and kinda meaner than I like."

"Unless you're going to suddenly age again, she'll be really old when you're of age," Chin said.

"Mages can live longer," he said with an evil grin. "Though she doesn't like sex outside ritual sex stuff. She used to do porn but then one slimy producer bothered her and turned into a large slug. She figured out she had done that and started to take lessons. Now it's only for ritual sex."

Chin just nodded once. "Interesting to know. Let's go get lunch."

"Okay. I can eat." He grinned, following Chin back to the car. "Danny figured out the washer earlier for me so it took less time."

"That was nice of him. Doing laundry is an important skill for most everyone." He got in to drive and let the kid buckle himself into the back before driving them off. "Why did she like me? She kept staring at me and Max."

"She said you were cute. She likes cute people around her to hang out with and tease. Plus to give her backrubs and stuff."

Chin just nodded. "Thankfully Malia isn't into magic."

"I think she would've hit on Kono if she had seen her."

"Quite possibly but I don't think she likes girls." He got back to the station and took Xander down to Jerry. "We're ordering lunch. Do you have the menus?"

"I do," he said, handing over his stack of them. He grinned at Xander. "You doing okay?"

"I'm doing good. Danny figured out our washer this morning so it went faster."

"That's good of him." He patted the kid on the head. "Max came in and locked himself in his office."

"Kendra wouldn't have flirted until he was off work. She doesn't like dead things," Xander quipped. "She would've waited until he was out at a bar or something. She's a traditionalist that way."

Jerry looked at him. "Who?"

"Mage Kendra. She was in the park because someone told her to come talk to her niece. The lady on the ground was her niece's roommate or something so Danny's getting flirted with while they talk."

"That's great," Jerry agreed, grinning at him. "He could use someone nice flirting."

"She's only in it for teasing," Chin said. "Want Greek or Hawaiian food today, kiddo?"

"Greek? We haven't had it in a while. They have kabobs."

"They do," Chin agreed. "Kabobs are healthy and really good food." He took that menu with a grin for Jerry and they went back to the office so he could write that report for Steve. That way he'd know before he got back.

***

Steve looked at his phone, sighing at the contents of that report. "Great."

Sheppard looked over. "Huge problems with the kid?" he guessed.

"The team ran into a mage he used to tease when he was stripping." He looked up. "She might show up later to help Rosenburg before they get stuck as animals."

"If she does, warn me so I can keep McKay away from her and Rosenburg. He's still having fits about her and all this." He rubbed his forehead. "Have we found that last team yet?"

"Not yet. Clay's considering having to go rescue them."

"He's good at that from what I understand." Sheppard went to find Clay to talk about that plan. They'd had two different allied species show up asking for help. One had been about a team that had turned into animals but the other one had a real problem. Thankfully Atlantis was in a lull at the moment. When the mage appeared in the gate room and cooed at the gremlin artwork, patting it, Sheppard had to stop the Marines from shooting her. "Guys, I think she might be a source of help for the redheaded tornado of bad ideas. Ma'am? Social visit?" he asked with a grin.

"I wish. Many, many cute things I could flirt with." She winked at him. "But I'm here as a senior mage to help the redheaded disaster fix her mistakes, and possibly beat her."

"There's a line for that and it starts with the President, ma'am. Can I know your name?"

"Kendra." She kissed him on the cheek then wiped off her lip gloss. "You're adorable. Do you like being teased?"

"Not really. It's not fun unless you can break the teasing to follow through." She giggled. "Let's get you to Rosenburg." He took her up there, not staring at her society chick mini-dress that was in white and black checks with a tiny peplum added over the skirt to enhance her waist. It fell barely below her panty line and she was wearing four inch white heels. Her hair was celebutante hair and she had on a good bit of makeup. "Did you go to a school to learn magic? We in the military don't understand that all that well."

"No, I had to teach myself after I turned a slimy producer into a slug. There's some really grody producers in the film industry, especially in the adult industry." She tested his arm muscle, smiling at him. "If you ever want to learn how to do ritual power raising, let me know. I'm very into that and not the regular stuff." She winked and walked into the lab. "Rosenburg the Damned, let's fix this," she ordered. "Before you kill them."

"Who're you?" Buffy asked, looking over the outfit. "That's cute. Where did you find that dress? Do they have it in tan shades?" she asked her. "Tan hides demon blood and ashes better."

"I'm Mage Kendra, and yes, they did. I found it at ...I think it was Burberry but I'm not totally sure. Check the tag for me?" She let Buffy do that and take down the name of the designer. "As for why I'm here, I know Xander. Someone he knows asked me to step in to help because they'll be stuck if they're animals for too long."

"I was trying to save some of the peaceful community," Willow sighed, giving her the big eyed look. "I think I found a portal to hell instead of a road."

"I think you make one every few months," she said. "This is the third time I've had to counter something of yours because it was screwing up something of mine, Rosenburg. You really need mentors." She came in to teach her to undo the spells she had screwed up. She hadn't even used the proper spells to change them. She had made up her own. Willow crafted a new one to end all magic in the mountain and it solved most of them. A few were hiding or had been taken off the base for study by some hidden NID people. Kendra extended it to the US and then farther when she felt some changed people who were in odd or awkward places. The guys who had been turned by a vengeance demon were nicely human now. Though Xander was still stuck when she checked on him. Willow took Buffy and disappeared after hugging Kendra for her help. Kendra sighed, sitting down to stare at the guy wearing the general's tabs on his collar. "So," she said.

"Can we arrest her?"

"She'd just break the jail, General." She smiled. "Then she'd go hide."

"Pity. Can I beat her to death?" He scratched his ears. "That feels weird."

"It probably will for a few days." She wrote out her number and name, handing it over to him. "Have someone call next time. That way you can hide it before the peaceful communities hear. The ones in Hawaii were amused but horrified and wondering if they could finally deal with her."

"Don't tempt me," O'Neill said with a smile. Kenrdra laughed and winked then disappeared. He popped his neck, looking at Carter. He found the phone in there and called. "Give me a sit rep, make sure we're all here since I saw someone skulking around with a cage earlier and bit him, and who's in charge. Good! I like Sheppard handling it with Clay. Be there in a minute so Carter can throw a fit." He hung up and looked at her. She waved. He nodded, locking her and Zalenka in there to have hissy fits about magic. He pointed when he ran into McKay. "The scientists ranting about magic are in there."

"I've already had that fit," he said. "We need to scan you."

"Granted. I still feel weird and like I have fleas." He got taken to the infirmary. The two former fish people weren't in good shape but they had been pulled out of the water tank they had been resting in. Sheppard came in with a page of notes. "That bad?"

"One team got changed off world. Those people weren't amused and were really horrified. We explained it as some machine we had here had broken in a weird way so they wouldn't kill them for witchcraft." He marked off his list. "Clay recalled a lot of people for temporary base guarding, sir." He grinned. "The President and the Joint Chief showed up to talk to you. They're aware of what happened and told us to hold steady." Jack winced. "He wanted to kill Rosenburg."

"She disappeared before I could grab her to choke her," Jack said quietly.

"Understood. The mage that helped seemed nice. Knew Xander at one point in time because he had stripped for her."

Jack let out a bitter sounding chuckle. "That figures, yeah." He looked up. "Anything too bad going on?"

"One team out of touch and we're about to send Clay's team to rescue them."

"Go for it. Just in case. They can excuse it as an emergency and they didn't answer. If they're diplomatic and being pains they can handle it. If they're not diplomatic, they can handle it easier." He rubbed over his face. "My skin is crawling like I still have fur."

"I asked that nice mage about how to handle any after effects, she said to masturbate." Sheppard grinned at him. "Apparently it helps, sir."

"I figure it would. It can when you feel weird in your body," the doctor said as she came over. "I need to draw blood, General." He took off his overshirt and held out an arm. She popped a needle in easily enough from practice with him. "We're missing six people that I've been told of."

"I saw someone with a cage earlier and I bit 'im," Jack said.

"I've already put a call out," Sheppard said. "Evan Lorne's going after any that are missing. Diplomatically if possible. If it's NID, then oh well." He marked off another thing on his list. "Three other things. The governor tried to show up to nag us about bad things happening. The president talked to him. He shouted he'd be back in three days, General." He marked off that one. "Two of the soldiers got turned into fish." He pointed at them. "Third last big thing, there's still gou'ald in Hawaii. McGarrett got a phone call from his people about two who wanted your nephew to be their new king." He put his list in the trash with a grin. "They arrested three today over that, sir." He saluted. "Let me do a new head check." He went to check on it. Chuck was already doing one for him. "How many are we missing?"

"Six, sir. Major Lorne is happy to fetch them. He even barked." Chuck grinned up at his colonel. "Their ID dots have them mostly in NID custody. One of them snuck through the heating ducts. We know he's somewhere but not totally where. The team being retrieved, they tried to claim diplomacy. Colonel Clay pulled out a grenade and let Sergeant Roque have his knives. They've already rescued them and are on the way back. Their ETA is twenty minutes depending on any resistance." He smiled up at him again. "Though one did ask Corporal Jensen if he was related to Xander. Freaked him out a bit that he knew aliens already."

"He stripped a few times for that mage that showed up to help us," John said. "That figures about the kid." He patted him on the shoulder before walking off. "General's in the infirmary. Make sure the mess knows."

"Can do," he agreed, reaching for the phone. Walter came trotting up the stairs. "All but one group's been recalled, Walter. Colonel Clay's grabbing them with his team. ETA twenty minutes."

"Good," he said. "Thank you for filling in, Chuck." He sat down. "Being a rabbit was weird."

Chuck grinned at him. "Sheppard thought Atlantis was the weirder project."

Walter nodded. "Usually. We don't have aliens that want to eat us." He patted him on the arm. "Where are we?

"Section-by-section head check. Major Lorne's going after any that managed to go off-base however. NID has a few." They shared a look and Chuck smiled. "One's somewhere in the air system we think."

"I'll have him beamed out," Walter said. "The ships?"

"Quarantine," he assured him. "They didn't get changed. One team that was off-base did but the allies got placated."

"That's good. We could always use more allies." Walter cleared his throat. "I still feel tiny and weak and squeaky."

John came to the doorway. "Keller suggested taking a bit of personal time with your hand tonight to fix that," he told him. "It can help settle you down after you're seriously out of your body too. Been there, done that. It did help." He handed over papers. "The head count and the ones that got recalled to help." He went back into the office.

Walter looked it over. "We're missing the newest team," he said. He called up their files. "Oh, they got recalled to the Marines for a week of assignment. All right." He made note of them and then went back to checking it over with Chuck. He had to smile about some of those who had been recalled. Especially the one that brought him coffee on the way to bother Sheppard about their shared kid.

***

Danny came back from arresting that mage's niece's new friends over the death of that one girl, and the niece had nearly killed them for him with her new magical gifts but had held off slightly, so he was sore. Xander walked out reading a magazine and handed Danny his sandwich from the lunch order. "Thanks, kiddo."

"Welcome." He grinned at him. "I'm helping Gracie with a social media report, supposed to be a biography but the teacher likes dumbass rich people without a clue or morals." He went back to reading the celebrity interview while making notes.

Danny shook his head. "Figures. It's probably to get some of the other kids involved because most of them can't even read a tweet." He dug into his lunch, nodding at Chin when he walked in with Jerry. "Her new friends got jealous and sacrificed the old friend. She nearly killed her new friends for the state."

"Charming. Is she getting help?"

"Yup, her aunt said she'd mentor her," Xander called. "Plus there's some hidden helpful information on shielding, meditation exercises for control, and a few other lighter topics in those 'for wannabes' books." He leaned out of the office. "Even Willow learned some from them." He went back to reading.

"Even better, the witch that'll destroy the world some day is being influenced by wannabe witch books," Chin decided, shaking his head quickly.

"I stopped her the last time," Xander called. "If I have to again so be it."

"How?" Chin and Danny demanded.

Xander came out with a sigh. "She had lost her girlfriend, her soulmate, just minutes after they got back together. She was going to make everyone feel the same way she did." He gave Danny a pointed look. "I stopped her and made her sob instead. Just ended up radiated with magic for it." He shrugged. "Then she went to Devon." He went back to his reading. "This cunt's really dumb and she calls herself that before I get grounded."

"Words like that mean you go have dinner with *all* the aunts," Chin told him. "By yourself."

"Ewww."

"Tough, kid."

Xander brought out the magazine to show him. "She called herself that. She knew she's a dumb cunt, that's what she called herself. Most strong, sensible women admit to being bitches because it means they can fight to get what they need." He gave him a pointed look. "Her calling herself that means that she's stupider than we think." He went back to his notes. He typed those at Gracie, who thanked him for the help and agreed, she was a dumb sheep's cunt. Xander laughed but agreed. She didn't make trends, she followed them so she was a sheeple. She might even be the dictionary definition of a sheeple. Grace burst out laughing but her mother texted at him so he citing the story and page number. Then he took a picture of that part and sent it over. Thankfully Rachel wandered off to have a glass of wine with her headache over that.

Danny came in to get the kid and go home with him for the night. He was amused at that project's notes but agreed, she was definitely a sheep. His suggestion to Grace was to forward that interview to someone like the National Organization for Women so they could run an educational campaign for real women who want to be more than photographed while drunk. Though he did suggest a few better female role models who were popular. His daughter needed good role models.

***

Grace looked at newest messages, smiling but shaking her head. "Poor Danno. He knows I don't look up to pop stars and the like." She answered back then went back to working on her project for that report. Her teacher would probably be pouty because she liked that thing but Grace had sense and taste. Her mother came in to talk to her about proper role models. Before she could get into the whole spiel she had planned out, Grace handed over the assignment sheet. "Not like I like her, Mother. She was the one the teacher gave me. I'd never be this dumb."

"Well, that's good," she decided. She put the paper down. "At least you don't look up to the celebutante network."

Grace looked at her. "Unlike them, I know how to do things while sober and without drugs." She got back to her report. "And I'd never call myself a dumb cunt like this one did in a printed interview."

Her mother grimaced, sipping her white wine. "Seriously?" Grace nodded, showing her that picture. "Oh, dear. Well, I guess her family accepts the lack of bloodlines in her."

"With some families, she's possibly the gardener's," Grace quipped with a smirk for her mom.

"No, those ones tend to turn out smarter due to the new blood being mixed in, dear. The rest of that social class are awfully inbred at times." She finished her wine. "Do you need more help?"

"About two more sources. I'm sharing with someone who got her frienemy to do." She grimaced again. "Though that's a gross picture. He has better taste than that whore." She shook her head quickly. "Eww. Bad mental place. I need ice cream." She got up and walked off to find some.

"Who taught you that?" her mother called after her.

"Xander did. He said it works even for those girls he used to know, Mom."

"Oh, all right. I suppose." She went to talk to her daughter about her actual role models. She hoped they were at least decent sorts. It had been too long since they'd had a girl talk anyway.

***

Jerry heard the strange rumor and went to tell the others. "Guys, is Rachel or Xander missing?"

"Xander and Grace were at the library," Danny said, looking at him. "Working on his homework. Rachel invited him to dinner tonight." He frowned as he pulled out his phone to call his daughter. He got a nurse. "Ma'am, this is Detective Williams. This is my daughter's phone I called. Where in the hell is she?" She said something. "I can be down there in about twenty minutes. Is her mother, who is pregnant and British, or a eight-year-old little guy swearing near her? All right. I'll be there as soon as I can, probably twenty minutes. Thank you." He hung up. "Rachel and Xander weren't with the car that got pushed off the road that held my daughter."

"On it," Kono said, moving to look at the road's cameras. Chin went with Danny. Mostly to keep him calm.

***

Grace woke up to someone petting her hair. "Brits like Grandma," she mumbled. She blinked at her fathers. "Took Mom and Xander. Nasty and one American guy who said they'd be able to use him."

"Got it, kiddo. Did any of them say anything about why?" She shook her head slowly. "All right. You call me if you remember anything. I'm going to go looking for them." She nodded, swallowing. Stan held out her glass of water, letting her sip. "You rest, I'm going to go kick ass like I'm a SEAL." He left, calling in. Kono had their pictures. She had also been told that the Coast Guard had the duo and they were being charged with murder. He went there to talk to them. Kono showed up with proof.

Chin got to Xander's side first and looked at him. "You have a huge fever. Danny, he's been shot."

"Fuckers who showed up to keep us hostage when the Brits left," Xander sneered. "I'm glad they got eaten. Claimed to be another hostage until his whole team got to us in the control room."

"Okay," Chin said. "Kono, he's got a bullet in his side." She called that in and got them help. Rachel got released as well. He went to help Danny. "Where are the remains of the Brits he said took them hostage?" The Coast Guard officer sneered at him. "That's fine, I can consider you an accomplice." He pulled out his handcuffs and used them. Rachel was fussing over Xander with Kono until he tried to get away. "Ladies, I need a statement, Kono."

"He said Brits started it, they wanted him. Xander disarmed one and got a few others while they had weapons. Then the first SEAL guy showed up and acted like he was a fellow hostage. Got them up to the control room to look over the radio since Xander had crafted a beacon with Rachel's watch. Then the team showed up. Xander had that sinking feeling and asked Steppuppy to help. She brought some friends. One may have been harmed since one of them made it back up there covered in blood but his steppuppy handled that one herself. That's when he got shot. They tried to shoot the dogs."

"Okay," Danny agreed. "Chin, call the local base to see if they can locate those Brits."

He walked off calling that in. They might need MP's anyway. He came back. "They found a dingy with four bodies in it, running in the direction it was set off."

"We heard a small motor after the anchor dropped," Rachel said. "Or it sounded like a heavy thing falling into the water."

"Could have been the dingy," Danny agreed. "Did they demand anything?"

"The Brits wanted Xander. They said I was just in their way." She swallowed. "Xander disarmed the first one. Then the second that came to help the first guy. The rest locked us in there. Xander was going to do a Steve thing and shoot the lock out if he could figure out where to hit." She petted over his hair. "He woke up complaining about boobs. Wondered if he had been given any. It looked like he had a headache or a concussion, Danny."

"We can have that checked," he promised. An MP walked in. "Good!" He clapped his hands together. "We're having to rescue two kidnaping victims from these supposedly nice people who say that they were wrong to fight back by asking a hellhound to save them from the SEAL team that was holding them hostage."

The MP looked at him. "That's not why I'm here, sir." Danny held up his ID. "Detective," he said with a nod. "I'm here to pick up two people who murdered an entire SEAL team."

"Who had them hostage," Rachel said coldly. "I doubt I'm going to murder them all."

"All right, I was not privy to that information. We can go to the base and work this out."

"No way," Chin said. "Kid's got a gunshot wound in his side and a possible concussion. He woke up wondering if he had been given breasts."

"We have a base hospital," he decided. "We can figure this out in the ER while they treat both alleged victims." Rachel glared at him. "I have to think that way until evidence, ma'am. Do you have a green card?"

"Better, I have a husband and a former husband and dual citizenship even before I married."

"All right. That's reasonable. That way I don't have to do more paperwork about this. Detective?" Chin flashed his ID. "That's fine. You can ride with them to the base's ER. My partner has our jeep." Danny nodded he'd follow. "We'll work this out. If I can have their paperwork," he ordered, holding out a hand. It was given over with a sneer. "Can you hold off on arresting that officer, Detective?"

"Maybe," he admitted. "Not sure yet how involved he is."

"Fine, we can bring him to the ER as well." His partner stepped in. "They claim they were defending themselves from kidnapers. The child has a GSW to his side and a possible concussion. We'll handle this in the base's ER." His partner nodded, picking up the kid since he was lucid enough to complain about being fussed at. The base hospital was ten minutes away and an ambulance would take longer anyway. "Let's go, Detective Williams." Danny walked him out to his car and got in with Kono and her evidence file. He looked it over on the way to the ER. When he got there, doctors were complaining about the kid not liking one.

"Dude, I shot him once for being a genocidal fuckhead in my original town," he sneered. "I'd rather not die thanks to him," Xander complained. "I remember *real* well how the Initiative did to our town's people." The doctor backed off looking horrified. "Anyone but him? Can we please?"

"Fine," the doctor agreed. "I can step off." He went to call that in but another MP stopped him to ask him about that incident. At his 'classified' Kono pulled up info for him. The doctor sneered at her. "It's classified President's eyes only."

"I don't want your kind on my island. And I didn't have to look that hard since I got given a full set of files from there to protect the kid." The doctor flinched away from her. "He's probably supposed to still be in prison or a permanent duty assignment." She walked off to talk to the MP's. The chained up Coast Guard officer was still sneering but he couldn't deny that it was those same dead people that had been recorded running them off the road and taking two of the three people in that car. Kono leaned over. "That's his daughter. She's in the main hospital under guard. Danny found out when he called her phone."

"An enraged parent is normal," the MP agreed calmly, glancing at Danny. The guy was clearly a very mad parent, in both meanings of the word mad. He went back to the files she had. "Who are these others?"

The Coast Guard officer looked and grimaced. "Two of those were found in that boat."

Rachel came over. "Xander stabbed him to protect us and shot him when he got the first one's gun." She went back to Xander's side since he was fussing at the IV. "Suck it up. The nice nurses are the rewards of heroism, Xander. You need to quit doing that sort of thing before you learn them all by heart the way Steven and Daniel have."

He glared at her. "Sure, next time I won't start to rescue us." He looked at the nurse. "I hate needles. I usually react really badly to them."

"That's why we gave you the nerve tonic, snookums." He grimaced. She grinned. "Your mom's right."

"Not my mom. My mother's a drunken whore who disappeared. Uncle Steve and a few others have custody of me but Uncle Danny has me while Uncle Steve is recalled to duty for a few days."

She patted him on the head. "I've seen your Uncle Danny a few times so I'm guessing who your Uncle Steve is. He's nicer to us too. Remember, we can make shots hurt a lot more."

He glared. "I really hate needles."

"Thankfully you'll be asleep for the next few hours." She smiled as she pushed some medicine into his IV. He drifted off. "Detective Williams, is he as bad of a patient as your partner is?"

"Probably worse. His parents were drunken wastes of flesh and space. That's why Steve and a few others inherited him. Yeah, he's that tough because his town was that bad before. We're kinda hoping that McGarrett calms him down some." He grinned at her. "So far he's rescued my daughter once with gas grenades."

"Oh, dear. Well hopefully he'll do great things if his uncle can talk him into the service." The doctors came in to evaluate him for surgery now that he wasn't fighting back against them. "Lieutenant Commander MacGarrett is his official guardian."

"With General O'Neill," Danny said. "And an uncle who's Army special forces. They're Delta."

The head surgeon smiled at him. "At least he'll keep being a tough little guy while you work on things like getting him to admit he needs help." They wheeled the kid off. A nurse took Rachel to check over, including calling her husband and OB.

The MP handed the case to his higher up when he showed up. The higher up came into the waiting area where the teammates and Rachel were waiting on Xander to get out of surgery. "We need to take a full statement, ma'am."

"Please do. It has to be better than being asked if I had a green card due to my accent."

"There's another ten forms that he'd have to fill out if you didn't have one, ma'am. It's sanity saving to ask sometimes." He settled next to her to talk to her about what had happened and how those people had died. Calling in a hellhound got a grimace but then again the dog showed up and puppy played with Kono to look cute. Danny got the dog something from the snack machine as a treat. It made her happy. By the end, they released them and the Coast Guard officer was released as he had nothing to do with it beyond a chip on his shoulder. The bodies were gathered so they could go over what they could've possibly wanted from those two. Kono made note of a group out of England so they could check them. It turned out not to be group but another one that wanted to sacrifice Xander for being under a curse and being a hunter. That thrilled the Navy to no end but they had to deal with the idea of kooks too.

***

Steve came back a few days later, looking at the trio in the office then at Xander, who was napping in the office. "Was it calm and quiet?"

"No," Danny said, shaking his head. "Some of your people are really looking forward to if you can make Xander follow you."

Steve blinked. "Why did Navy SEALs get in touch with him?"

"They had him hostage with Rach," Danny said, leaning on the table. "There were some Brits who wanted to sacrifice Xander for being him and then the SEALs showed up to ransom them to Rach's husband. Xander did good but so wrong. Though it was nice he fed Steppuppy. Nearly got arrested for it too."

Steve blinked then rubbed his forehead. "Go slower." Chin handed over their report on it. He read it then went to check Xander's injuries. "You good?" he asked when Xander woke up to him checking the bandages.

"I'm fine. Don't fuss." He swatted at him. "I'm fine!"

"That's why you're pouty?" Steve guessed. Xander nodded, covering himself up again and going back to sleep. "David's nearly home. He'll be here in about two hours."

"He can't fuss either," he complained.

"I'll let him know that." He went back to the main area. "Can you email this report to David's phone? That way he knows that Xander doesn't want him to fuss?"

"We had a suck it up talk about fussing," Danny assured him with a smirk. "Just like I had with you once upon a time."

"If I end up in Storybrooke, I want to be a cool character," Xander called. "Not the kid and not a bad guy."

"I'm sure you would be," Danny called back. "He's got a small fever," he said more quietly. "He's already complained he doesn't want to be a Disney prince when Gracie teased him."

"Me either. They're weak," Steve agreed. David stomped in and to Xander. "He's good, David."

"Fucking yay." Xander was under the couch by the time he made it in there. "Xander! Front and center!"

"Shut up! I need a nap."

"Uh-huh." He moved the couch and pulled the kid out to check him over. "What the hell!"

"I got us free before they hurt Rachel," he pouted back. "The gunshot wound was an accident when the guy was trying to shoot a hellhound."

"So!" he demanded. "You're *eight*!"

"On a ship with kidnapers and no radio," Xander shot back.

"SO! Hide!"

"We didn't have control of the ship and the SEAL guy pretended to be another victim." He frowned. "Otherwise I might have."

"Uh-huh. We're going to train those into you, mini guy."

"Whatever. Can I nap?" he whined.

"Yes. Go ahead and nap. We'll go home soon." Xander pouted but curled up on the couch again. He came out. Chin handed over that same report. "Read it in the cab," he admitted. He looked at Danny, who held up his hands. "I know, not your doing."

"We found out enough information for the Coast Guard to quit trying to arrest them," Chin said. "The MP's at the base helped investigate while we were in the ER with him."

"That was good of them," Steve agreed. "The Coast Guard authorities didn't have him treated?" Chin shook his head. "Hmm. That's bad. Against regs too." He leaned against the table. "Anything else happen I should hear about?"

"Jensen's on his way out with his team," David said. "They'll be here tomorrow."

"Forward that report so they know he got injured," Danny suggested. "Anyone who fusses at him gets yelled back at. Including Rachel." He grinned at Steve. "The nurse remembered you too. Thought you might soften up his tough guy act with yours."

"Maybe," he admitted. "Rachel didn't throw up a fit about his injury?"

"Their report said they ignored the woman's complaining because she had been caught," Danny said, handing that over. "That's the MP's report."

Steve and David read it then Steve went to scan it in and send it to Jensen. "Warned is always a nice thing," he told himself. He glanced at Xander, but he was snoring again. So at least he hadn't snuck out on them.

Kono strolled in with a tool belt on. "Jerry and I mined the whole building with height related motion sensors that automatically turn on cameras if someone less than four-ten is wandering around the building. That way there's no more lost kids and he'll have a worse time trying to hide from fussing. Because I went to rant at my aunt last night."

"That's evil," Chin said but he was smiling.

"That's worse than Rachel telling Grace so she could rant at my mom," Danny quipped.

"You three need holy water baths," David quipped. "Before the kid runs away from all of us."

"He'll be in Colorado in a few weeks," Chin said.

"I forgot about that. Yup, should be in two and a half weeks. O'Neill's going to flip his lid. Can I send this to him?"

"Already did," Steve called, coming out of his office. "Both reports."

"He's going to rant and tell Jolene," David muttered, shaking his head. "Poor kid."

"Maybe it'll help make sure he doesn't have to rescue himself again," Danny said. "First I knew of it, Jerry was telling me that Rachel had been kidnaped with the kid."

"Wow, someone was really stupid," David decided. "Wow." He shook his head. "Let me gather him up and take him home to rest."

"You've got leftover hamburgers in the fridge," Danny said with a grin. "And a casserole with veggies. Plus his laundry should be dry by now since he put it in before we left."

"Cool. Less I have to do tonight. Thanks, man." He swatted him on the arm on the way into the other office. "Hey, kiddo, home time." Xander nodded under the blanket. He picked him up, blanket and all, and carried him out to the car.

***

Up in the air over Nevada, Jensen was reading his email. He frowned, getting Roque's attention. He waved he was going to the bathroom and nodded at Clay to follow him. Clay frowned but went with him. "My nephew needs some heroic be gone potion," he said quietly, handing over the tablet he had been using without permission on the plane.

Clay read it. "Fuck," he muttered. He looked up. "How bad?"

"Side gut shot."

"Double fuck." He went back to reading the reports, frowning at it. "That makes sense and how I'd handle it at such a young age. We have got to reprogram that kid."

Someone knocked. "Gentlemen, we don't really allow any sort of relations in this flight. We aren't really a mile up."

Clay opened the door to look at her. "Our team's nephew got shot rescuing himself, miss. We're swearing in private about him." She went pale. "It's fine. We're just venting now so we don't have to vent on him as we beat the heroics out of him." She scurried off. He handed the tablet back. "Let me tell Jolene."

"And my sister?" Jensen asked with a grin. "Because I'm not going near her yet. She'll not only fuss but will wail on him until he gives up to become more normal."

"Yeah, we can calm down both of them before we get back to Colorado with him and David." He went back to his seat. Jensen handed the tablet to Pooch, who read it and groaned. A senior stewardess showed up beside his seat. "Sorry about that but we had to swear about the group's nephew since he got shot saving himself from a kidnaping," he said quietly. "Before I beat the living shit out of him for being eight."

She winced. "It's good it's a fixable situation, sir, but you did worry the stewardess a bit thinking you might be some sort of cell?"

He pulled out his dogtags to wave. "Not really. The Army frowns on it."

"Ah." She smiled. "Then I fully understand going to hide to swear in private so you seem more mannerly. Just keep it calm please. We'll get your people some beer in a few minutes."

"That's fine. Jensen only drinks soda on flights. It stops up his ears."

"That's fine. It means he won't pinch one of us."

"I'd never do that. I have to date before pinching," Jake said with a grin. Pooch sat up and huffed through his nose. "Yeah, the reason for the swearing at the nephew, Pooch."

"The Pooch's wife is going to beat him senseless because we had a similar talk after he helped rescue them from the cult of yahoos while shopping." He handed the tablet to Cougar, who just growled through it. Roque growled too. The stewardess walked off shivering. They all got some free liquor. And Jensen got some extra soda. She could tell the TSA people when they landed in Hawaii. It wasn't important enough to land the plane prematurely. Even the captain agreed when the first stewardess told him about and she explained - especially about beating that nephew to death.

***

David looked up as Jensen nearly bounced into the house. "He's locked himself in the basement so he can whine about hurting without having to make anyone listen and he won't even come out for cocoa."

"Yeah, that won't work with me. We kick in doors," Jake said with a grin, heading down there. "Thank you, Steppuppy. I'll take care of the boy for now. He needs human cuddles because he has a huge booboo." The dog barked and let him pet her then she ran up to beg David for sausages. Since Danny had bought some spicier than usual sausages, she got that. Jake checked the door, listening for the kid. He wasn't locked in that safe room, he was hiding in a closet. He opened the door, staring down at him. "Sorry, time for a bandage and infection check," he quipped with a smirk. Xander moaned, shaking his head. "Yup, tough shit, kiddo." He hauled him out and upstairs. "The damp closet can't be good for your side."

"Then why is the door locked?" David asked, staring at the kid.

"Because you locked it before we left?" Xander guessed. "I can't pick locks yet."

Jake cuddled him. "It's all right, we're going to teach you that after we make sure your side's fine." He carried him off again.

"I can walk. I'm not a little kid."

"Yes you are. You're eight," Jake said, giving him a smug look. "We heard about all that and our swearing nearly made them land the flight sooner so we could be kicked off, kiddo." Xander moaned. "Yup, so we're going to go over how you do that."

"He was aiming at the dogs," Xander complained.

"Yay!" He grinned at him. "You're too young to get shot at like we do, Xander." He smirked at him. "If you do it again, I'm *so* going to fly Jolene and my sister and my niece to wherever you are so they can fuss over you for *days*."

"That's better than Danny promising to call his mom and sisters at least," he pouted.

"Not likely. We can both do it together, little guy." He grinned. "You'll be *so* happy when they fuss over you."

"I'll run away and live with the mermaids."

"I doubt that'll work. Remember, we can track and Roque is absolutely pissed at you for getting shot at your age. He said not even gang kids get shot at your age." He took him into the bathroom to look at his injuries. "Why aren't you wearing panties?"

"Because I'm a guy," Xander said dryly. "And they don't fit."

"Oh, well, we can fix that too. David, he's not wearing panties," he yelled.

"If he wants to wear girl panties I can have Gracie take him shopping," David called back. "If you're looking for his, the new ones are in his room but he hasn't managed to change his clothes in a day. First aid kit's in the laundry closet." Jake carried Xander to grab it then back to the bathroom. That way Xander couldn't escape.

David was smirking as the other guys walked in. "Dinner's in two hours. Jake's got him in the bathroom to make him change clothes and put on panties."

"If he's wearing girl's panties that's fine with us," Roque said. "Maybe it'll make him feel like those nagging bitches are nearby again."

"Funny thing, second morning after we left, Danny said that two gou'ald females showed up to try to mother Xander. They still think he'd make a great king for them." He grinned. "He got them and their buddy arrested."

"Figures he's still drawing weird things." Clay sat down. "He good otherwise?"

"He won't let me check him over." David looked at him. "He's more stoic than you are. He needs to learn better. I even threatened to tell Grace on him so she could come fuss. That's when he locked himself in the basement."

Clay nodded once, looking at Pooch. "You guy's will be back in Colorado in about two weeks," he said with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure Jolene could fuss. Julia, Beth, and Jolene? Yeah, he'll be okay. Though we should tell Keller or Lam. They did demand that we inform them if we find out he's injured."

"At least the ones that did it are dead." David went back to cutting up stuff to make stew. Clay moaned. "He called his favorite puppy to come help them. They had him and Rachel, Danny's ex who is pregnant."

"Yeah, he's going to protect her and that future kid," Clay agreed. Xander ran out and tried to go into the basement but Cougar was in his way. Clay grabbed him to walk him off so they could talk like men about these things. Roque and Pooch followed to impart sense. They couldn't trust Jensen to do that since didn't have any himself. Cougar couldn't get through to the kid; Xander just talked around him until he gave up. So it fell to the other men in the extended family to do that. David called over the other local uncles to help. They had some sense, if MacGarrett's usual problems hadn't sucked it all out while chasing bad people doing bad things in Hawaii.

***

O'Neill was waiting when the house switched, going up to check on the kid. No kid. "Guys, did you leave the kid?" he called. It woke up his people and David. Still no Xander. They called back and Danny found him hiding in the basement again so they'd put him on a plane and David could pick him up on this side. Jack got that arranged and settled in to talk to his people about what had happened, how bad it really was, and hold off the two doctors from coming to fuss.

Clay made the mistake of mentioning the gunshot wound, which sent Keller through the roof. O'Neill had to have her sedated before she screamed the mountain down on her head. It alerted others though, which brought Sheppard and McKay to talk about what had happened. They weren't pleased either. John Sheppard had this Colonel of Doom look apparently; it even made McKay shut up for a bit and back away slowly. Yeah, that would serve the kid good. They could straighten him out. If they each gave a tiny sliver of sense, they wouldn't bankrupt their own stores but the transplant would hurry the kid's growing sense of 'that's not a good idea'.

***

David showed up for his debriefing by the higher ups with the kid, ignoring the complaining. David finally stared down at him. "Not like I can leave you home alone. That social worker keeps trying to come back." He stared at him. "Jack's only doing paperwork today so you can go hang out with him while I figure out what the higher ups wanted to know this time." He got them signed in and through security, though he was being glared at. "Yeah, I'm single," he shot back at one. "Plus he's going to visit with an uncle who's not doing much today. Suck it up, Marine. Not your call."

"Babysitters are cheap," he sneered back.

Xander looked up at him. "Watch me call a demon here to eat your ass." The soldier flinched back, making Xander grin. "Hi. How're you?" The soldier ran off. "He's possessed," he called after the guy. "And his demon's a dumbass." David swatted him, making him yelp. "Hey!"

"Be more polite," David ordered. "You just cursed him to some really nasty medical tests, kiddo." They finally got let onto the elevator. They were met by Carter and someone she was arguing with. "You can tell he's not been SGC for long, Colonel. He's stupidly arguing with someone who not only ran Atlantis but also blew up a solar system."

"He's part of the IOA," Carter said with an evil smirk. "I'm not going to blow up the mountain today. I can't build minute explosive devices."

"I can," Xander quipped with a grin for her. "I learned how to make thermite grenades."

The IOA representative glared at him. "What is a child doing on this base?"

"I'm going to visit with my uncle, dude. My guardian has to talk to someone so I'm going to visit with all the nagging uncles. And possibly a few nagging aunts." He looked up at Carter. "Is Keller still huffy?"

"Yup. But just about you being shot while trying to get free."

"Damn. I'll have to hide from her. She screams." Carter nodded, walking off. "David, should we follow her?"

"Please do, kiddo." He followed with the kid, ignoring the huffy person threatening to have him fired. David grinned back at him. "Retired, asshole. Mostly to raise the kid better." Xander nodded, grinning up at him. "Though I will be taking all thermite you've made into custody. Just in case. Or in case those gou'ald show up to try to court you again." Behind them the IOA rep was spluttering.

"Not my fault they think I'd make a great queen for 'em," Xander shot back. "They're warped. It's the snake's doing. Snakes don't see things like humans do." Carter was giggling against a wall at that. "They don't."

"No, snakes don't," she agreed, patting him on the head with a grin.

"We arrested sixteen in total in Hawaii who wanted him," David told her with a bright, insane looking grin. "Two different plots. One wanting him as a new king, and one wanting to make him less pretty so he'd be their war god instead." She burst out in new laughs as she walked them off. David walked into the office and nodded. "Here you go, one nephew, General."

"You don't salute?" one of the others in there sneered.

"While I respect Jack O'Neill for all the times he's kicked ass to protect all humanity, I'm retired," he said firmly, glaring at that one. "I only salute him when he brings the kid back from a few hours of playing with him because it means I can call in a happy time with a lady of questionable bedroom skills."

Xander looked up at him. "You need better than questionable bedroom skills and I don't care if you call in a ho while I'm there. I can go play in my room, David. Hell, use some of the stuff Anya left me on them to make them squeal." He shrugged. Jack reached over to swat him. "Hey!"

Jack smirked at him. "Most guys don't need sex toys," he told him. "And it's more expensive to rent a woman with better than questionable skills. Retirement pay isn't that generous."

"That sucks. Especially with all the things that get drawn to me." He hopped up to sit on the front of the desk, grinning at the staring idiots. "Yes, I'm his nephew Xander. I'm here for visitation while my guardian has to talk to some higher ups."

"They finally figured out why the two plots wanted him," David told him.

"One wants me as their future queen and the other one thinks I might make a really hotty war god," Xander quipped with a grin for his uncle. "Which they're right but I'd *so* destroy the gou'ald for doing that to me."

"It might be hard to fight one off," Jack said.

Xander leaned over, grinning madly at him. "Hyena," he said slowly and clearly. "They don't like snakes."

"Good point." He pulled him over to hug him, making Xander wince. "I thought that was more healed."

"Mostly," Xander quipped.

"I cleaned it this morning, General. It's still clean and doesn't look infected. Probably another week before it's fully healed."

"That's good to know. I won't let the docs latch onto you if you're a good boy."

"Sure, I won't go talk to Daniel so I don't release his trapped demon again. We'd probably have more trouble trapping it in again. Each virgin can only do it once."

"That would suck, yeah," Jack decided. "David, these are the ones who wanted to talk to you."

"That's fine. What did you gentlemen want to talk about?"

"You were assigned here," one said.

"I'm. Retired," David said firmly. "I got recalled for a few days to help when a witch turned everyone into pets but I'm still officially and formally retired. I retired due to injuries and to go to college. I might come back some day but it'll be at least three years due to my education needs."

"With your future degrees, we'll welcome you back if we're still here in three years," Jack quipped.

David grinned back. "Thanks, General." He looked at the kid then at him. "You sure you want to take visitation with him here today?"

"We're not due any visits," Jack said. "It should be fine. Plus helping me do paperwork will make sure he doesn't get into trouble with anyone trying to kidnap him again."

"The officers who spotted me taking out the trash that broke in took them from me and went to charge them with trying to break and enter to kidnap the kid," David said dryly, smirking at him. "They weren't amused either. Especially when Xander told them to kiss his ass and bent over to show it." Jack glared at the kid, who shrugged but grinned. "Plus we got a visit yesterday by that same social worker who thinks he needs drugs."

"The woman thinks I should be like any other kid and whining about things," Xander said, shaking his head. "I explained that you're not mean, you're better than my original parents, and she even had to help handle the vampire that broke in since it was around sunset. She was horrified that my town was so bad. David showed her about Sunnydale." He shrugged. "She's still freaked out that I'm not a fussy, whining little kid."

"Some people can't get past their expectations," Jack reminded him. "She does important work, kiddo."

"I know. Still sucks though. She even sneered at Jolene bringing over Junior to play. She and Jolene had a *talk*." He grinned at Jack. "Apparently the reality we live in is much different than hers. Jolene even introduced her to it."

"She's good at that," Jack agreed. "Jolene's a strong mother."

"The social worker thought to offer Jolene guardianship of the kid," David said. "I went on a fit about her discriminating about me because I'm a single guy."

"I guess it's like male nurses. Some people think they're nearly myths," Xander quipped.

"I'm sure some beings on other planets think I'm a myth," David quipped back with a smirk. Jack burst out laughing but nodded. "So anyway, people, what did we want to know?"

"You interfered with an ongoing problem by showing back up," one said.

"No, I was recalled for a few days to help handle a problem going on," David corrected. "The same as some others were. The kid went to another uncle since it was our time in Hawaii with those uncles, and one of them got recalled to help as well." He stared at the person. "We aren't usually down here unless the kid has a major issue or there's a huge problem. That's one thing I don't have to worry about anymore since I retired."

"You were still here."

"Yes I was asked to come in and help with a few other recalled soldiers. I did great work when I was on SG-12." He stared at the IOA rep. "What did you want us to do when all the base was turned into cute, fluffy pets by a witch who thought the program might bring too much attention to the peaceful ODN communities?"

"We should have shut everything down and the people afflicted should be tested to make sure they're human again."

"Already done that I'm sure," David said dryly. "Our docs like to grab us as soon as something happens. They're kinda mean about it too. As for shutting down the mountain, we did. We got recalled to handle the base's protection in case something came through the gate and to make sure everyone was accounted for. Which is why one soldier had to be rescued from the heating ducts and five others had to be recovered from the NID." David stared at him. "Frankly, we told everyone that needed to know. The President showed up during that with the head Joint Chief. They were briefed by those who were in command at that time. We do have some very strong colonels around here. When allies came through, we handled it as was proper for program protocols. We handled the higher ups when they showed up the same way."

"When a mage showed up to correct the witch, she managed to undo it and fix those who had been changed by other witches in other areas," Xander said. "It's a common tactic to get rid of someone easily. Turn them into a pet then call the pound." One of the IOA people shuddered. The other looked disgusted. "Frankly, the witch was *trying* to be helpful. She's just wacky and full of weird ideas. She worries a lot about the impact of what's going on sometimes. She's also got an addiction to her skills and that sometimes blinds her to reality. I should know, I grew up with her."

"She's your age?" the sneering one demanded.

"No," he said but Jack's hand covered his mouth before he could add on to it.

"You don't need to know. The president knows. The Joint Chiefs and therefore the Secretary of Defense knows. It happened to US military personnel so that's all that had to know. Your group was notified that it happened and was fixed within a few days."

"You can't prove any of that," the other one sneered.

"We have it on tape," David said dryly. "The whole base is under surveillance. Including by your people." He stared at him.

"I'll have you arrested for trespassing."

"You can *try* but I was asked to show up today for this meeting. Therefore no trespassing as your notice to come chat had for me to show up in the nearby conference room down here." He looked at the other one. The first guy got up to hit him but Xander stabbed the guy with Jack's knife he grabbed off his waist. "Kid," David sighed, staring at him. "That's my job. Quit doing my job for me. Remember, you're a kid, I'm an adult and I get to stab people. Or shoot them."

"Can I just set them on fire?" Xander asked, grinning at him. "They could use it."

"That's mean," Jack said. "They're not dead yet and I don't like to hear people screaming. We have a few allies who'd love to have them though."

"Daniel's little demon in his jar could have them," Xander offered with a grin. "They're probably not great sacrifices but it could be put to good use. Willow had a whole book on sacrificing rituals."

"Nah. Too much like church," David said with a grimace. "And pretty messy to clean up too." He leaned over. "Hey, Chuck, the kid just stabbed an IOA guy who was going to try to beat me for telling them the truth. Can we have one of the mean docs come down here please?"

"Sure," he called back. "Already called her and MP's, sir."

"Thanks," Jack called. He looked at the kid. "That's my job. My knife, my job." Xander grimaced and pouted some. "Sorry but you're too young. They could even try to help that social worker. And we can't talk about classified things."

Xander leaned closer with a grin. "There's only three judges in the local area that haven't been making vows to demons by what's been in the news." Jack shivered. Xander grinned. "They might want me to go to a demon family so the ones who want me might have better access but I'll be damned and I'll use my four owed wishes."

"Three," David corrected.

"Nah, I saved a life, I've got a life debt saved up for *special* things," he said with a smile. "They can't reage me but they can sure as hell pull me from the future to come back for a few months." Jack shuddered, shrinking down some. "I can be *so* mean to others that way. It'll be fun."

Jack hugged him, patting him on the back. "We'll figure it out, kid. That way you don't have to be threatening." He looked at David.

"I didn't let him have anything sweet this morning," he defended. "I'm guessing this is him without sugar." Xander grinned at him. Doctor Lam stomped in. "The guy was going to hit me so Xander stole Jack's knife and stabbed him, Doctor Lam." David grinned at her. "He's just vowed to pull an older him here for a few months to handle all this for himself."

She looked at Jack then at David. "Did you give him drugs?"

"No. Not that I know of. I didn't even let him have sugary cereal for breakfast."

"I'll run his blood to check for anything that might have gotten to him thanks to unusual or magical means." She looked at the bleeding person. "Not too bad. Nothing critical was hit." Xander grinned and waved. "I'm telling Janet."

"I'll run and hide like I'm on reality tv and have to win a million bucks if I don't get caught," he shot back with a smirk. "The last time I had to hide at this age, I managed to hide underneath a greyhound and made it to the state border on the way to Las Vegas. I fell asleep and didn't realize they were offloading luggage from where I was hiding. The biological donors were not impressed. Though my father said I should have kept going."

"Are they alive?" she asked.

Xander shrugged. "No damn idea," he admitted. "Don't care," he finished with a grin.

"Uh-huh." She got her medical team to cart off the bleeding one and MP's to take the other one with him. Carter had been waiting in the hallway, and had heard it all, so she was shaking her head as Carolyn walked past her. "He's grinning. I need to draw blood for a drug test from the kid."

"Not a bad idea," Sam admitted. "With what we're finding out about magic, they could do that."

Xander came out with a huff. "C'mon, I'll go pee in a cup for you."

"We can do the blood one faster," Carolyn said.

"Yeah but you can't hold me down well enough to get a needle into me and I'd fight back. You'd probably hate the bruises I'd cause while fighting back," he said dryly.

"Probably," she agreed. "Fine, we'll do it that way then take blood if we have to." David came out to escort the kid. Between David and the MP's she managed to draw blood anyway. Though one MP needed an ice pack because the kid had kicked and struggled against the guy's balls.

Upstairs, Jack was call the uncles around the base to come visit with the kid to calm him down. McKay could fuss back at the kid when he got huffy about stuff again.

***

Steve smiled as the video chat request came through. "Yes, Doctor Keller? Huge problem with the kid?"

"We have found out that an antibiotic makes him react slightly psychotically. He stabbed an IOA representative earlier for threatening to beat David."

"Interesting. Is that responsible for his usual level of tough guy actions?"

"No, but the drug that the gou'ald were giving him may be. Apparently they've had some long term infecting going on when they were trying to flirt with him. It's a mild one that basically acts like a milder version of acid without the hallucinations."

"That feeling of invincible?" Steve guessed. She nodded. "How long?"

"At least six weeks. So when he got shot too probably."

"He actually handled it like I would've," he admitted. "He's just too young."

She nodded. "Yes he is. We've got him off that and are detoxing him from it. If I send you the chemical report can you find out where they're getting it from?"

"Hopefully."

"Then I'll email it to you in a minute, Lieutenant Commander. Also, the kid hates hot dogs for some reason."

"He said it's like normal little kids get sick and tired of apples and pb&j sandwiches."

"Ah. That's reasonable I suppose. I'll email that to you. Test the others just in case. David showed a minor dosage but it looked older."

Steve nodded. "I can definitely test Danny since he spent time with Xander while I was there."

"Thank you. Also, Jack said to warn you that the IOA was very huffy about that incident and wanted to test everyone to make sure they were human plus called David in to bitch at him about it."

"I haven't heard a thing yet but I'll be on the watch for complaining sorts. Thanks for the warning." He grinned. She smirked back and hung up. He got the email a few minutes later. He could have someone draw blood from Danny and the others in the morning.

***
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