Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup

Story Notes:

Pure crack, not to be taken seriously. Stubborn, clueless Ron at his worst.

"Molly, be reasonable." Albus Dumbledore says.


"No Albus, you be reasonable. There is no reason why Ron can't start his first year of Hogwarts in a couple of weeks."


"Besides the fact that he has failed every class for three years running and is a useless little oik? None of the other students want anything to do with him. Everybody knows his story and the first years don't want him to take them down with him. He's not even trying to study, he sees school as a place to eat whatever he wants three times a day and classes as a place to sleep?" Severus sneers. "Not even Filch wants the little blighter for detentions, he's next to useless."


"But surely there's something we can do about him?" Arthur asks. "Not having him in Hogwarts would be a disgrace."


"And having the school's laughing stock isn't?" Percy snorts from down the table. "I'm embarrassed to admit he's my brother."


"You're embarrassed to admit you're a human being and didn't develop fully grown from a cauldron bottom." McGonagall says.


"But what about his friends, won't they miss him at school?"'


"What friends? He latched onto Potter and rode his coattails their entire first year, then whined bitched and moaned all summer when we gave him additional work so he could test again. Potter wiped his hands of him their second year, as did the other gryffindors. Not even the twins will prank him, and they prank everybody."


"But surely there's something we can do?"


"Send him to Durmstrang? Perhaps a little change of scenery will do him some good? Or he'll piss off the wrong person and they'll take him out for us."


"He'd never be able to handle Durmstrang. At Hogwarts he has teachers he knows." Molly says in a wheedling tone.


"What about Beauxbatons?"


"He'd piss off a veela student and end up extra crispy." McGonagall snorts.




"Oh all right, but you're just throwing your money away. Ron will receive his letter tomorrow but if he doesn't pass this year, he's not coming back to Hogwarts."


"Thank you Albus, if he doesn't turn his act around this time, I'll kill him myself."


Ron whoops as he reads his letter. "Unlike some of us, no new books for me this year."


Ginny snorts and stabs Ron's hand with her fork when he tries to steal sausage from her plate when he thinks she's not looking. "that's because you have to repeat the first year . . . again. The rest of us are starting new years."


"No Percy nagging me to study."


"No Percy nagging any of us to study."


"Oh yeah." Ron says crestfallen for a minute. "I can still use Hermione's notes for classes and I know all the spells."


"No, I've taken Hermione's notes and burned them." Ginny says with an evil grin. "You're going to have to take your own notes."


"Mum, Ginny . . ." He yells.


"Ronald Bilius Weasley, no screeching at the table. And I am quite aware of what Ginny did, we also took all your chocolate frog cards, your games, and anything not pertaining to your classes from your trunk. If you do better in your classes this year, you might get everything back next summer."


"But that's not fair." he whines.


"Neither is making Mum and Dad pay for you to fail first year three years in a row." Ginny snorts, stabbing his hand again.


A few minutes later a scream from the table.


"Mum, Ginny bit me."


"Ginevra Molly Weasley, you know the house rules."


"Yes Mum, I stabbed him twice when he tried stealing food from my plate before I bit him."


"Good Girl."




"You know the house rules Ron, no stealing food off the other's plates."


A couple hours later at Diagon Alley.


"But why don't I get an allowance? Everybody else does."


"Because they haven't failed every class they've taken multiple times."



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