"Okay," the commander said, looking across his officers. They were all gathered for the pre-shift briefing. "Tonight is Chaos Night, the second this year. I'm sure we all remember the last one fondly. Remember, our job is containment. Keep them apart, keep them safe, and keep them away from the normal folk. Any questions?" One new guy raised her hand. "Sergeant, Chaos Night?" "That's right, you transferred in from the Midwest somewhere. In short, because we've all heard this before, 'bout two, three times a year things start to happen here in this city. We call them chaos nights because they are. You will see strange things and it's these nights that give New York City the reputation for being one of the capitols of strange crap in this world," he noted dryly. "Us, LA, San Francisco. New Orleans gets its own versions and they keep it better hidden because theirs last longer. Anyway, anything you can think up and make real, is tonight." She laughed. "You're joking, right?" Everyone shook their heads. "Sorry, rookie, not a chance," one of the other officers said, looking at her. "It happens a few times a year. Hotels don't take any bookings for tonight if they can help it. Planes are severely limited. The train comes in fast and leaves just as fast if possible. Those who know and want to see came in last night or earlier this week sometime. They're the usual targets of some of the show. Get killed or hurt watching the figments play. Sergeant, how strong is it this year? Anyone check the charts?" "They said 3.2. Not sure how accurate it still is." That got some nods and groans. "A few years back, Pam, we had some mathematician guy who showed up fascinated by these nights. He worked out some formula for us. We input the date, take three readings with some doohickey he found for us, input the probable population and it spits out a number. We're fairly low, it's an eight-point scale. Last year during our second night we were at 3.8 and we had a living tetris game in front of Macy's. No one could figure out who created it but no one had a controller that we could find. Kept canceling itself out." She giggled and he shrugged. "Don't believe me then but there's a few hard and fast rules. Whatever you think highly enough of to think it could happen, will. Somewhere in this city. Doesn't always happen next to you or anything. They'll be here for a day and a half, roughly. Then they fade out and disappear, with a few notable exceptions. Like the dragon last time in the park. Ate two cops, ate a homeless lady, apparently got indigestion from the last officer it ate so it laid down in the park to belch for a few hours. Torched a hotdog stand doing it. Then it got up and went looking for a maiden. They were in very short supply suddenly." She laughed louder. "The main thing you have to remember is our job is containment. The math guy said it'd be bad if they mingled. Something about contamination and corruption. He said putting Godzilla in Mark Twain's head would be a horrible thing since he didn't know how they came to be - meaning if we created them or pulled them from some alternate reality or something. Guy mumbled and talked over all our heads with theory stuff. Anyway, you'll notice that everyone is on shift tonight. There's no leave granted, even grief leave is canceled during tonight. Any reports are given a special classification number. Any arrests we put through a special, very prepared, science fiction fan judge. Can't put Jack the Ripper into gen pop after all," he finished with a joke. "He showed up?" one officer asked, looking a bit confused. "I didn't hear that one." "Yeah, showed up, went after one of our lovely working gals in an alley," the sergeant admitted with a small smirk. "Didn't expect her to turn and whip his hind end with her size twelve platforms. Gotta love our drag queen pros." He smirked back. "He complained the rest of the time about that being unnatural. Of course, up the hall was the thing from Aliens so who knows." He shrugged. "As usual, our precinct picnic is in two days, so we all have time to recover after drinking ourselves stupid once they're gone again. Good news, this is a two-time year instead of a three-time year, guys." That got some hoots. A messenger came in with a note and left quickly. "Okay, it's started. We've got King Kong again this year." He waved a hand. "Go to it and remember to be safe. They attack normal people. They only know their limited reality." The officers piled out and he followed their rookie, who was muttering about hazing rituals. He pointed at the Empire State Building and she stared. "Told you so." She turned to look at him. "I spent five years in the Navy, sir, this isn't right," she said firmly. He shrugged. "Welcome to New York, Rookie. Wear your vest, drive carefully." "The elves are here," someone yelled. "I hate that D&D group," he muttered. "Some group at one of the colleges calls up their players and live action role plays with them in the park," he complained. "Better than the action stars we get. They're not usually violent toward normal people. Though I gotta say the favorite of the PD is the porn circuit. They just wanna have fun. Them and Buddha. He always shows up. Last year he and Jesus were playing hackie sack in the park with some kids. Buddha was watching since he couldn't really see his feet. Enjoying the moment and all that. Was kinda neat. Very calming." She gave a pointed look at the glaringly empty spot in the skyline and he looked at her. "No one in the city would do that, Pam," he said more gently. "It won't bring them back. It'd only hurt them more. It's not like bringing your loved ones back as ghosts. It'd be like talking to a video tape of your fondest memories of them. So no, the whole city avoids the thought of the Towers during these nights. You will too." She nodded. He noticed a dancing twinkie and cupcake coming up the street then looked at her. "Hungry?" he asked. She turned and looked then scowled at them. "I didn't think they'd hurt anything." "Only foul traffic." He watched as the twinkie tried to bite the cupcake. "Hey!" he yelled. "That's cannibalism! Quit that!" The twinkie pouted but went back to dancing with his partner. He patted her on the back. "You'll learn, Rookie. You'll learn." He walked off, going to his car. Even he had a patrol tonight. He heard the next radio message. "Hey, Buddha's back," he said fondly. "Playing hopscotch with three rabbis is good for him. Probably good for them too. Still better than the action stars." He watched a helicopter fly into the sunset and sighed, shaking his head. "Good. Some people are too loony and have way too much imagination." He drove on, having to swerve to avoid the brightly colored bears on skateboards handing out flowers and candy. They were starting their own parade. He called that in. "Dispatch, this is Evans. We have Care Bears doing a parade on skateboards," he reported. He drove on and kept his eyes sharp. At least until he heard the whistling sound of something falling. Then he sped up and parked suddenly, looking at the block that had hit where he had been. "Dispatch, Evans again. We've got Tetris in the middle of Broadway. Three doors down from The Lion King. Bigger this year. Block this street off." He got confirmation and headed on. This year someone had the controls apparently. They had just canceled out a row. He hated tetris. He really did. His route took him to the park and he got to watch the elves frolic and dance with a few porn stars and a few action stars who didn't look pleased to be pulled in but they were drawn to the elves' dancing partners. "Wonderful." He kept going, making sure they didn't have anything too harmful tonight. No one wanted another dragon in New York. It was mean to his poor city. The End. The End.
voracity is the author of 70 other stories.
This story is part of the series, List Only Stories. The previous story in the series is No Sane Man. The next story in the series is Threat of Twins.. |
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