Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup

Story Notes:
Will be noted by what day these sections were done by.

The people in the park looked up as the bright light seemed to float down, and the smart ones ran from it deciding it was something weird they didn't want to deal with. A few even called it in as an emergency. So when the bridge actually landed, there were a few people gathering to stare at it. When six young women, pretty young girls who didn't look related, stepped off one of the heros waiting winced. He took off his helmet and bowed to the girls, who all smirked at him.

The guy following them sighed and looked back. "Thanks for the saving, Heimdall," he called with a wave. "Can you warn me next time that the space douche is a pirate who wanted to steal my daughter?" They all heard laughter. "You know, I could let them hunt you down again. You'd make a great son-in-law." Two of the girls grinned at him. Another nodded she agreed.

"Please do not make him hide. I may have to go up there soon," Thor said quietly.

Xander spun and stepped off the end of the bridge, then whistled. His axe flew to his hand and got stuck to his back. The girls got looked over. "Someone forgot her clothes and you *know* your sisters won't share." She huffed but ran back up the bridge and came back a minute later with her bag. The bridge disappeared once she was off it. "Write Heimdall a thank you letter later," he said patiently. "So you don't have to go naked all the time." She sighed but nodded she would, ducking behind her taller sister next to her. He looked at Thor, then shrugged. "Space pirates. Actual space pirates," he said dryly. "Who wanted to play poker so they could win a daughter." Thor winced at that, but nodded once. "Pity about us winning their ship and everything else they owned but they tried to reclaim their pet." He shook his head quickly then snapped his fingers and pulled out two scrolls to hand over. "From your dad. He's still in a pissy, bitchy girl mood."

"When did you decide to come back?" Thor asked him.

"The closet kicks me back here every eight years, Thor. Wherever's time, not here time." He shrugged but shifted his stance, nodding at the people standing there. "Hey." He looked at Thor again. "I only went up last time to rescue the girls."

"What of the one that's missing?"

"I have a daughter-in-law I don't want to sacrifice yet." He grinned slightly. "One of the Valkyries and she got caught together so Odin made them wed at sword point. Then he told me. It was nice the daughter made him confess when she had knocked him out a window and nearly off a balcony." Thor tried not to smile. "Yeah, her. She's supposedly happy and ignoring the fact that some people have suggested they could find a way to give me grandchildren. So am I before I have to bless the grandkids to be just like me." The girls all groaned. He grinned at them. "If any of you make me a grandfather I'm *so* blessing them to be *just* like me. It might save them from Willow, maybe." He looked at Thor again. "We're going to go hide from the wannabe evil idiots who wanted me in charge."

Thor cleared his throat. "Did they ever sort that out?"

"I don't want your mangy father's seat, Thor. Why would I want it?" he complained, staring at the taller guy. "Your father's an asshole and apparently it's contagious. You got it when you sat in his seat for him. Your brother got it from him. Your half-sister isn't much better." He shrugged. "Be damned if I want it."

"Thank thee," he said patiently.

Xander clapped him on the arm with a grin. "By the way, when I was forced to hold it steady before the honor duel, I cleared all the stupid rules out so pick someone who'll help you rule and be good for your life, Thor. Just...not one of my girls. Okay?" He walked off. "C'mon, girls. Let's go let you pretend to be ladies while I call the bitches in Cleveland. Maybe I can hide behind you when they complain."

"That's one reason to need grandchildren," one of the girls quipped with a grin for him. She looked a bit insane while doing it. "It would definitely stop all bitching at you by the brats you used to help, Dad."

"Yeah, it definitely might. But then you'd get Willow." The girls all grimaced and one shuddered. "Yeah, her. I *so* want to give her to Asgard. Maybe she'll find an evil lesbian up there to take all of her time and attention. Or I could do something that would make a mage up there pay off a debt to change someone for her," he said, considering it. "Hey, Thor, how would you like a sister instead?"

"Loki would murder you, Alexander," Thor shot back but he was smiling. "Your friend Willow has been quiet recently."

Xander turned to walk backwards, smirking at him. "Loki saved you all by knocking her into next year when she had the bad idea to summon warriors down for the girls to flirt with because they just *had* to be regular warriors who'd help the slayers patrol and stuff, nothing special since they're guys. Sif asked him nicely and he scried then groaned and knocked her out while saying she was his first target when he took over again. Sif reminded him somehow I'm before him for the throne and it'd come down to a duel. He stomped off to sneer at me so we made out and he suddenly went into hiding to consider his sexuality. Or something like that." He grinned and turned back around to herd his girls off. "No, you can't go pet the park horse," he said loudly. That daughter came back. "The slayers have two called unicorns you can go pet later, ladies. And someone please pull down her skirt!"

"Ooops," she muttered in All Speak. "Sorry, Dad!" She adjusted her clothes quickly. "I need to go up in size."

"You're growing. I realize that, Daphne," he said patiently. "Once we get some money changed over you can take your sisters and find something *tasteful*. Not like what you wore at the Academy, but *tasteful*."

"Yes, Dad," she complained. "I might still fit that."

"Yay! I don't need thoughts about you being hot, dear. Dads shouldn't think that about their daughters. It's creepy and wrong." The girls all giggled at him for that. A demon showed up and Xander's axe got grabbed so he could attack it. The girls got the minions that showed up, and knocked out the officers running to help. Xander looked them over then shook his head. "Shirts." A few had to adjust the boobs popping out. "Thanks. Nice work, ladies. Very fast and easily done. C'mon, faster we find somewhere, the faster we get ice cream." The girls ran off to find the local demon poker hall so they could change out money and see if there was a safe housing area set up already. Xander followed, cleaning his axe off with his overshirt and shaking his head as he walked.

Thor looked at the others, shrugging. "Ancient prophecy," he admitted. He walked off with a sigh. "At least it has not fully come to pass that my father would lose his seat over his arrogance about males."

Steve grabbed his arm. "Is he a villain?"

"No!" Thor smiled and shook his head. "His daughters have robbed him of patience again, what little my father's actions left him." He got free with a pat to the hand holding his bicep. "I will share that story. It is amusing in many ways. Alexander is not the average warrior but he will solve things if he must. That's why the elves stole him from the realm he ended up on."

He walked off reading the scrolls. His father's letter had much to make him worry about his mental state. The other was from Loki, who had many more interesting things to share. Including that Odin had put the honor duel for the throne back onto his shoulders. Thor grimaced. "I would not want to fight him," he muttered. "The girls would make me suffer for each injury I caused him."

The others followed him back to the tower to hear about this possible problem. And the pretty girls that called him daddy. Steve Rogers looked at Thor once they were all back there. "So, who was he?"

"He is the male warrior that works with the Midgardian Valkyries. Or he used to before he found and somehow made it through an enchanted closet. That leaves you on a certain realm for eight years their time but only eight hours here." He grimaced. "He had to go back to rescue his daughters when someone told him they had been made by a witch over there. We had heard he had to go twice because he couldn't get all of them. When he did finally get them, another witch banished them to another realm and the girls had to save them that time.

"Then the elves kidnaped him to demand the girls help them with something. So the girls kindly knocked out that whole village, tied them up in a house, and went to defend the, as they called them, whiny ponces with ears." He grimaced. "Which set off that prophecy that meant he could be the one to take the throne from my father, but he doesn't want it."

He settled deeper into his seat. "In that first trip, Alexander learned much. Much he does not talk about as well. All we know is that a coven of three witches made the daughters he has. Seven daughters, one's a set of twins." Everyone just nodded slowly at that. "They did it to perform some rite with their blood and bodies but he found out and stopped them. He had no idea the witches had taken his seed to make him daughters. Thankfully they were untouched by the higher beings that oversee the one he used to help hunt beside.

"When a demonic contact told him about the girls being sacrificed, I'm told there was a great fit. Great enough to have evacuated part of their former village. Then he stomped off to gather things, including that blessed axe of his, and he went to save his daughters. He managed to get them from the witches, and made quite a mess of them and their summoned helpers."

He cleared his throat. "Then another who wanted to own the girls as concubines stole them to a few castles. He managed to save six and got pulled back by that closet. Then he got a few new weapons to get the seventh. That mess...well, there are bards who can tell that story in great detail and make you feel sorry for the destruction of that demon's demesne. And realm. And possibly any who served that demon in any manner."

"A man protects his daughters," Steve agreed calmly. "So he's a warrior?"

"Aye, and one that Asgard would be proud to claim. He and the girls spent six weeks among a warrior's academy when they rescued themselves from the elves. The warriors were confused that Alexander did not wear himself out with extra training and sparring matches. Instead he showed them how to monitor their energy and how to conserve it for later battles. Some of them thought it made him weak until a few fire giants came for the girls. Then they saw that all the energy he conserved went into the new battle.

"He was used to battles every few days in his old life. He had learned the wisdom of a long war's needs from that. He outlasted that whole academy trying to take down the fire giants." He smiled. "And another two that ran to help but got there a few hours later. He did much damage to them. Including taking out their head prince. Their princess showed up to make a treaty but his daughters complained that he shouldn't sleep with her because it would ruin her for later lovers. As it turns out, as it was needed to stop that battle set, that they were correct. Again, a bard could espouse that ...battle much better than I can. The squealing sounds better coming from them." He smiled slightly. "He used to date a daughter of Old Norse. She taught him many tricks to make a woman happy. Which is probably why my brother hid from him after that kiss." He considered it then shrugged it off. "At least I did not have to hear my brother squealing that way."

Steve blinked a few times. "Squealing?"

"She enjoyed it," Natasha Romanoff said patiently. "She got loud." She looked at Thor. "Is he related to that town that fell in?"

"Yes!" He smiled and nodded. "He used to help the one known as Buffy when they were not full adults yet."

"We had wondered where he went. His daughters, are they magical?"

"I know not," Thor admitted. "Nor do I wish to find out because the only way for me to take the throne from him would be to marry one of them and then kill him. Which I do not wish to attempt. I do not want the throne that badly." He smiled. "Though they are comely, they are as much warriors as Sif is and less patient with men's foibles as they haven't had the years she's had to learn such patience. I pity the one that married on Asgard. Though I had not heard that gossip. I should ask Sif if she knows of which one it was."

Steve cleared his throat. "Should we worry about this guy? Is he dangerous to us?"

"If you touch his daughters? Yes. Quite. Odin stared at one too long and she poisoned him for it." He stared at him. "The girls are flirty but if you don't return it they'll leave you be from what I've seen and heard."

"That's good," Stark agreed as he shifted in his seat. "Anything we should know if we run into them again? Are they trained as warriors or assassins or what?"

"I have no idea," Thor admitted. "Though I know that they have taken training from an assassin's guild in the off-realms that they were born on. Alexander had them trained thus in case they had to save themselves from a man who was evil minded."

"Good of him," Stark agreed. He looked at Natasha, who shrugged. Then back at Thor. "Will they need our help?"

"Only perhaps to get away from his old friends. He said once that they nagged him constantly about being a man so therefore in their way."

"I remember meeting the senior slayer, yes she does," Stark said dryly, staring at him.

"I remember sparring with her," Thor said with a smile for them. "She was very skilled. Sif would be pleased at other female warriors being so skilled." He crossed his feet, getting comfortable. "I got them a trainer to help them learn better sword skills. He was most impressed with even the youngest ones and how they handled their ancient duty. Though he was confused about the shopping issues all the girls seemed to share. I still have no idea why the girls went shopping for something to wear after the battle."

Natasha shook her head quickly. "It's to encourage them not to get hurt."

"That I can understand. Though why pick out skimpy things?"

"They like to go to clubs to dance," she said. "It's for that."

"Ah!" He nodded. "That is not something I am skilled in. The music is too loud and mostly sounds like stuttering and shrieking with a bass beat." He looked at the others. "I would not worry about Alexander unless you are bothering his daughters or in his way before an emergency. He has learned that not many would step into such battles so he needs to move people out of his way since most would only complain about it before they're eaten. Much as we've seen at some of our battles."

"Do we think he's staying local?" Steve asked. "Should we go introduce ourselves to him so he knows who to call on if he finds something?"

Thor shook his head slowly. "He does not call help. He handles things and then hikes off to hide from nagging." He smiled slightly. "He was in the palace being nagged by Odin and walked off with a sigh to handle someone screaming in the garden. My father did splutter and swear after him but Xander got the crying maiden stopped and her boyfriend being an idiot and screaming at her got made very sorry before being handed to Sif so she could find a use for him beyond a waste of a bad night's relations as he put it. Then he went back to stare at Odin and tell him he wasn't really there, he was just on his way through and if that bothered him that much he'd gladly not stop the problems going on by the bridge that Heimdall was handling. Father...I have not heard him mutter those sort of things at anyone. Even Loki was horrified."

Jane, his ex-girlfriend, came off the elevator with Darcy shoving her from behind talking about her eating. "I'm sure she's fine, Lewis," Stark said dryly.

Darcy glared at him. "Jane hasn't eaten in two days so stuff it, Stark. Science takes more than coffee." She shoved Jane into the kitchen so she could fix her something and make her eat.

Tony shook his head. "Sometimes I don't understand Lewis."

Thor shrugged. "She takes good care of Jane, Stark. Leave her be. That is what Jane hired her for." He looked at the porch then at Steve. "You can ask the Maiden Warrior Ophelia yourself if you wish."

Ophelia leaned in with a grin and a wave. "Hey." She threw over a ball of paper. "Where we'll be and Dad's already been found by the redheaded tornado so we'll try to keep the magical fit down when she finds out about us."

Darcy came out of the kitchen to stare at her. "You're not an Avengers girlfriend. Do we know you?"

She grinned. "I'm Ophelia. Daddy Xander had me come bring that note since I'm the only one with clean clothes." She shrugged and grinned. "Let me go back to hiding from the redheaded problem before we all gather together to do a spell to make her calm down for the good of everyone."

"You have no magical gifts," Thor reminded her patiently.

"Yup." Ophelia smirked at him. "But we can damn sure pull up something with Dad together and make it calm her down somehow. Even if she does end up a hamster." She closed the door and climbed off the balcony, hopping to the next building.

"Wow, she's doing it in a skirt," Darcy said, then shook her head. "Asgardian?" she guessed, looking at Thor.

"Not quite and it's a rather long story that only a bard can do justice to, Lady Darcy." He smiled at her. "Ophelia's father is the focus of a prophecy that would unseat my father from his throne."

"Ah!" She nodded. "Is he a bad guy?"

Thor shook his head. "Only if you bother his daughters."

"Hey, not my thing. Introduce us? You know Jane will want to pump him for information." She went back into the kitchen. "No, Jane. Sit and eat the sandwich while the vegetables steam and then get stir fried. You have to eat food *with* the coffee! Remember, the doctor downstairs said if you don't lower the caffeine in your system he's going to ban you from having any at all. So let the sandwich do its job, Jane."

"Fine," Jane complained. "Why are you stir frying vegetables?"

"Because you need the vitamins. You're pale like a ghost again." She shot her a dirty look. "Plus, Thor could probably use veggies too. This way you can share your veggies and talk about traveling stuff." Jane groaned but ate before the nagging got worse.

Thor smiled at the others. "Jane does look pale." They just nodded.

Natasha was staring outside. "That is not the outfit I would've been wearing to climb a building. The skirt was too tight and the shirt was like a vest with sleeves. Almost ren-faire style." She looked at Thor. "Asgardian?"

"Elven. When they got taken, the girls probably needed something to put on or they were redressed when their father found them." He looked over as Clint came in. "Welcome back," he said, smiling and shaking his hand.

"Thanks," Clint said, flopping down in his usual seat. "I heard that Harris is finally back from wherever and brought new slayers?"

"His daughters," Natasha told him. "Some witches made them for him without telling him."

Clint grimaced. "Yeah, there's a witch stew somewhere by his reputation." He shook his head quickly.

"We know more about him?" Steve asked.

"When the slayers came out, I was one of the agents sent to liaison," Clint said then he smiled. "My bow was liked by them since they use a lot of crossbows and swords." Stark grimaced but nodded he had seen that too. "Some of those young women nag like it's their cure to having to go to school. Harris was around then but the girls were apparently hiding?"

"For a bit he let them live with an aunt who wanted to take care of them," Thor admitted. "At their request because they didn't want to leave home for down here and the slayers. It was hard but best for them at that time because they would be endangered by the battles. Then he had to go rescue them again." He shifted again. "Darcy, you're burning something."

"I don't even have a burner on, Thor," she called back. "The veggies are in the microwave in the bamboo steamer thingy. The smoke's coming from somewhere else. I can see it outside." Stark got up to look then groaned and hiked off to find it and fix it. She leaned out and smiled. "Anyone else need something while I'm making Jane eat?" They all shook their heads. "Hey, Clint."

"Hey, Darce. She okay?"

"Just been two days," she said dryly, going back to her fixing Jane's lunch.

Clint looked at Thor. "So he's back down her with his daughters?"

"Six of the seven. He said one was married off to a valkyrie because they were caught together by my father. He said so far that arrangement agrees with his daughter as he hasn't wanted to sacrifice his daughter-in-law yet. Though he has banned them from giving him grandchildren."

Clint nodded. "That would be freaky beyond belief, yeah. So six daughters. Slayers?" Thor shook his head quickly. "Interesting."

"Trained to be able to protect themselves and others," Thor told him. "He is a fierce father from what I have heard."

"He'd have to be, the girls were pretty," Steve said. "Guys are leches around girls like that."

"The girls handle those so they do not make their father commit abuses or murders," Thor said dryly, smirking at him. "They let him handle bigger threats than just a man who wants more than is reasonable or likely."

"Or wanted," Jane called. "Some men want a lot more than women want to give them."

"True. Though most warriors will not try thus, Jane."

Darcy leaned out, staring at him for a second. "Then you didn't have to beat *two* wannabe warriors who wanted Jane? Because she told me that story, Thor, and how my borrowed taser came in very handy."

He nodded. "True, there are men who were raised wrong," he agreed.

She grinned. "And for those, women take self defense and carry weapons like tasers and pepper spray." She went back to feeding Jane.

"Which explains why she used her lightening stick on me when I got up demanding," he said dryly, cracking Clint up.


The heros rushed in to see if they could help but Darcy pulled Clint away from the portal. "I can help," he reminded her.

"You're probably going to be sucked over there." She glared at Stark when he ran in, stomping a foot and pointing at the portal. "Your fridge went full on Gozer."

"Shit," he said, taking readings. "I have no idea where that goes to." He looked through it. "Thor, are those elves?"

He looked then groaned. "Do leave my Lady Jane be," he yelled. "Before I have to come smite thee!" The elves acted like they couldn't hear them. Darcy and Natasha grabbed weapons and came in. Natasha's guns didn't work. Darcy's taser did and she glared, hands on her hips. "Leave Jane be!" Thor shouted again. "Before I smite thee!" The elves stared at them like they were now stupid. Darcy stomped over and shoved people away from Jane, hauling her back to the kitchen. Clint and Stark took Jane from her and helped her back across. Then Stark found out how to close the portal from his refrigerator's ice maker. Thor gave her an odd look. "I could have handled it, Lady Darcy."

She snorted, waving the hand with her taser in it. "Men talk while women get shit done. It's a universal law." She walked off. "Jane, infirmary?" Jane babbled gibberish so she steered her toward the elevator. "Sure. Maybe Doctor McHotty Ass is down there even though he's not an MD, he's a physics screw up. You can flirt with him again, Jane. Talk stars to him or however astrophysicists flirt."

"I thought all our infirmary staff were medically trained," Stark called after them.

Darcy stopped the elevator doors from closing. "I have more med lessons than that guy, Stark. Quit hiring from SHIELD's basement." She let the elevator doors closed so she could walk Jane to the infirmary. She walked Jane up the hallway. "Maybe that one will shake pompoms over you and make pretend he has traditional, old style medicine again." Jane scowled but didn't fight being steered off. "Hey, last time the guy couldn't even take your blood pressure right." She walked in and found that doctor bending over a sleeping Bruce Banner so she cleared her throat. "Hey, SHIELD douche canoe, leave Dr. Banner alone please. He's a bit grumpy when you wake him up. And Jane got sent to a realm of elves." She kicked the desk chair Banner was napping in on her way to put Jane onto an exam bed. Banner woke up and glared at her. "Jane got sent to a realm of elves," she reported. "She's not able to speak english but apparently understands it. And I kept the guy with the needle from stabbing you in the neck."

"What?" he demanded, glaring at Darcy and Jane.

Darcy pointed at the 'doctor'. "Him, trying to stab you while you napped the nap of the science nerd." She glared back at him. "Jane, got sucked into a portal and can't speak english. Convenient am I." Jane said something else in gibberish. Darcy stared at her then got her some paper and a pen. "Write it, Jane. I don't use All Speak." Jane made a diagram and held it up for Banner to see. He looked then kicked the 'doctor' in the ass to make him leave the infirmary before he came in to look her over. "Thanks." She grinned. "I was stir frying Jane some veggies when the ice maker on the fridge door created a portal to whatever elves those were if you wanted me to save you some in the fridge."

"I'll eat later, Darcy," he sighed. "I'm fine."

She looked at him. "I won't comment. I'm not your assistant." Jane giggled. "I'm her nagging sort. Ask Stark to hire you your own." She looked at Jane. "At least you got the sandwich down you." Jane scowled again. Darcy stared at her. "I don't care. You're eating one way or another, Jane. Even if I have to pour ensure shakes into your IV. You've lost ten pounds you couldn't afford to lose in the last six weeks. I'm going to tell your mother on you." Jane slumped down but nodded. "Good!" She smiled. "Let me go back to making you lunch, if I can get into the kitchen. I'm assuming by now we've either started a war with those elves or shut the portal down." She walked off shaking her head and muttering.

Jane looked at Bruce and muttered something in gibberish. He smiled back. "You did want her to fuss over you." Jane nodded that was true. "Next time, remember to eat." Jane huffed but nodded she could try that again. "Good. Cooperative patients are the best ones. And pretty rare in this building." Jane drew a squiggly circle and a few stick figures. One walking through the circle to drag back the other. She held it up and stared at Bruce. "I'll check her in a minute, Jane." She nodded, settling in to let him look her over for strange radiation, diseases, germs, or plant samples


Xander looked up and muttered a swear at Janus, then looked at the redhead that had just appeared. "Ophelia, you have a duty," he called. She got to sneak out before Willow recognized her. He sighed, staring at his oldest friend. "What?"

"Slayers?" she demanded. "You left and found more slayers?"

"First, not slayers."

"Then why are you with them?" Willow demanded.

"Because a trio of witches made me a dad," he said bluntly. "I had to go save my girls from asshole men who thought they were playtoys. Which is pretty much why I had them training with warriors and assassins." She was gaping now and it wasn't a happy thing by any means. He stared back. "There's one I just sent with a message and another that got married off realm in Asgard thanks to Odin finding her boinking her lover of the night. I'm sure those two will be happy lesbians together somehow." He shifted his weight and then sighed and sat down. "Ladies, clothes?" he begged. They groaned but went to find the building's laundry center, which they were promised was somewhere and free of bugs. Willow was now spluttering. "They didn't do laundry on Asgard when we were getting two free of space pirates who wanted to be my son-in-law." He grimaced. "They're not a problem any more but the girls need to do some minor girl things tomorrow."

She let out a shriek. "Daughters?" she demanded.

"Blame the witches who had them. Though you'd have to reincarnate them from the witch soup I made." He stared at her. "I got really mad when I found out they had made me daughters they were trying to sacrifice. Though I am sorry I scared their whole village."

Willow gaped in horrified awe. "You did *WHAT*?" she demanded.

"Xander, very overprotective dad," he said dryly, staring at her. "Just like he was over the slayers he was training." The remaining daughter, who was hiding in a corner trying not to be seen, nodded at that. He grinned at her. "I do not want to be a stepfather, a dad-in-law, or grandfather," he reminded her. He looked at Willow again. "I was going to bring them by in a few days, once we were more settled in this realm. We've done six in the last three months."

"It's only been six weeks since you disappeared!"

"Um, yeah, time runs differently there," he said dryly, staring at her. "Remember, time is set by the revolutions around the sun. You're the one that taught me that. Different planets, different rotations...different times." She scowled, hands going to her hips. "They are! And two weeks of that was on a space ship dealing with space pirates."

"Why did you have to have daughters?"

"I had nothing to do with it," he said impatiently. "The witches decided they wanted to make perfect sacrificial vessels. They summoned the sperm somehow. They had the kids somehow. Then I found out. I went to free them but at one point in time I let them live with someone who didn't have to fight demons. Then they got kidnaped by a dude who wanted to be my son-in-law. Pity about him too." That daughter giggled, curling up in a tiny ball. "I had to come back due to the method that sent me but I went right back as soon as I could and got her free too. Be damned if I want a son-in-law who thinks he can have all my baby girls at once. I'm pretty sure we taught them not to screw each other." Willow's eyes were wide. He grinned. "But they're mostly good girls. Very well trained since I had them learn with various warriors and assassins."

"I..." She broke into spluttering again. "Buffy's going to kill you!"

"I doubt that. Especially since I was apparently in another town when they were conceived. It almost made me believe in storks." Willow glared and stomped a foot but disappeared to tell the other Council people he knew. He looked at her. "You should've evacuated."

"She was in the way." She fled to help the others do their laundry.

Xander sighed, leaning his head back. Then he groaned when his phone went off. He picked it up to look at. "Great." He answered it. "What? I'm barely back on this plane with the daughters and there's an emergency?" He listened. "No, Willow found out I had daughters. She's not impressed," he said blandly. "She's back in Cleveland." He listened to the mage complain about various portals. "I have no idea how one started in Manhattan. We bridge'd back thanks to Heimdall." He rubbed his forehead. "Expect to see more magical traffic though." Buffy showed up with Willow. "Let me know if you need my help to end that one portal, Sorcerer. Yup. Thanks." He hung up and looked at them. "Willow made them flee. They're doing laundry somewhere in the building."

"You trust them to do laundry?" Willow demanded.

"The youngest is fifteen, Willow. She knows how to do her own panties and bras." He stared at her. "They're well trained in case I have to leave them somewhere safe for a bit. Like I did when I had to hunt down the space pirate idiots." He looked at Buffy, then shrugged. "Witches made them."

"Why?" Buffy demanded, arms crossed over her chest.

"They wanted to sacrifice them. So I have seven daughters. Though one's on Asgard with her new wife." He shifted to cross his feet. He looked casual and not about to get up to defend his baby girls. "I heard about that at the same time I heard I had daughters. So I made witch soup." Buffy winced. "Then I let their aunt talk me into letting them stay with her so they'd be safer than Sunnydale was. Which was all right for them until someone decided he wanted a Harris Harem." He grimaced. "That was messy too. But I solved it, even though I had to come home/ and then go back again. The portal pulls you back after so long." She slumped. "Otherwise, I've had my girls with me while I was over there. Training to protect themselves."

"But they're not slayers?" she demanded.

"Nope, and they're not allowed on patrol either." Buffy smirked at him. "Not until they've graduated high school. They have to finish their schooling before they do more than learn from warriors and assassins I talked into training them. They're down for self defense and that's it until they graduate."

She opened her mouth a few times then shut it and cleared her throat. "They're going on patrol?"

"Up to them, Buffy. A few of them wanted to make a real difference in the world and keep trying to help me with problems that I can handle without them." He shrugged and grinned at the girls coming in. "Hey. This is Buffy and Willow."

"We escaped from the magical fit before we had flashbacks to that batty sorceress on Asgard who wanted to suck you dry, Dad," that one said with a grin and a wave. "We need quarters and bug spray."

"They said there weren't any."

"Mercada had to fix the machines."

He sighed and dug in his pockets, handing over change. "Try that. If not, we'll figure it out in the morning." She nodded, going to do that. "That was Mercada. One of my seven." Buffy was still making fish faces. Willow was glaring at the doorway. "Let's see, there's Daisy, Ophelia, Cygyn, Mercada, Atlina, and Sophie down here. I keep forgetting about Sophie. She seems to be able to hide in plain sight too easily. Raisa is still on Asgard with her wife."

Buffy finally closed her mouth and sucked her spit back so she could swallow. "She's pretty," she said quietly. Xander grinned and nodded. "I don't want them my slayers."

"Fuck off," he s/aid with a grin. "They're not allowed to patrol until they're eighteen. Like the slayers aren't." She stepped back at that. "Then it's up to their decisions because they'll be adults. They've seen wars, Buffy. They've seen larger demons who showed up somewhere we were conveniently near, and wasn't after us. They've seen smaller battles when I was fighting some fire giants on Asgard. If *they* want to go on patrol, I can only give them a realistic view of how much it sucks at your soul and then let them train as Watchers under Giles. The oldest three still have two years before they get to that point. Mercada is ahead in her studies and only has a year-and-a-half but that's why I made the eighteen rule."

"They're normal," she said impatiently. "Just like you."

"And just like me, we all took lessons with various warriors and assassins." He stared at her. "Otherwise we wouldn't have a few of the girls in Africa. They would've been killed." Buffy stepped back, shuddering. "My girls do a great impression of me. I'm very proud of my spawn, Buffy. And it's up to *them* if they want to train to become Watchers, not me. Not you." She glared. He stared back. "Even Giles would say that if Willow took the spells off him again. By the way, Willow, there's a whole school full of mages on Asgard who are scrying you constantly to make sure you won't become a threat to their realm. They take turns throughout the day." He stared at her. "That sleep curse? It was Loki because he decided he didn't need the competition." She glared. He stared back. "Was there then." He waved a hand. Buffy snorted. "You can ask the training, Buffy. He'll tell you the same thing." Buffy stomped a foot. He stared at her. The girls all came back in. "Daisy, shirt," he sighed. She looked and buttoned it back up. "We're getting you something that fits tomorrow." He looked at them then at Buffy again. "So, these are the majority of my girls." He waved a hand with a smile. "Ladies, this is Buffy and Willow."

"We snuck the pictures from your wallet," one said, staring at Buffy. "Don't piss Dad off please." She went into the bedroom she was using with three of her sisters. "Dad, are we staying here?"

"Not for more than a few weeks," he called.

"That's fine. Can we spar with her?"

"If you can find a spot that won't get anyone in trouble," he offered. "She thinks you six aren't as great as you are." He grinned at his evil one. Mercada had a lot of evil moments when she needed to. She also had his planning abilities.
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