Quit Wishing! by voracity

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Rhodey called up to a counterpart in Norway, getting agreement that they could take that body and the stasis chamber he was in. He finally hung up after talking with Pepper about arranging the flight. "He's on his way to the new center," he called. Steve nodded, still grimacing at Wanda. "Stark scientists will load him up and bring him there and Dr. Cho is standing by to bring him out if she can." Wanda nodded, gripping her hands. "You should probably be there so you're the first thing he sees, Wanda."

"I..."

Willow appeared, staring at the young woman. She sighed. "They sent me to talk to you, Miss Maximoff. I'm Willow Rosenburg and I once nearly ended humanity in my grief." The young woman looked up at her. "We can talk on the way. I can get you wherever." She held out a hand. "C'mon. Let's go talk like women." Wanda took her hand thanks to Willow's compulsion and Willow pulled her up, taking her to the new avengers facility. "There, we can talk here." She settled on the couch with her to talk to her about what she had done.

"Who sent you?"

"The Vengeance demons' higher being, D'Hoffryn. He asked me for a favor because he thought you might need some clearer thoughts and not like I'm going to flinch since I nearly destroyed everyone during my magic addiction. He said I'd be a good road sign." Wanda swallowed. She felt the probe to her mind. "You can try but I doubt it'll work. I do meditate often to control that." The probe deepened and Wanda burst out crying. "Hmm. Just like the slayers that get caught. Quit fake crying, Wanda. It does no one any good and real women admit to their flaws that they've worked on."

"I did not...."

"You did." She pulled over a mirror and put it up so she could see what she had done. She made Wanda watch it. "You did."

"I ...Stark...."

Willow shook her head. "Stark wasn't in control of the company then, Wanda. Obadiah Stane was. He's also the guy that sold Tony Stark to terrorists he was letting buy weapons against the law so he could own the whole company."

"He still made them."

"Then again, if no one had found out plutonium could be explosive then there'd be fewer bombs. Or if the Chinese didn't create gunpowder we'd be without it probably. Just because it exists doesn't mean it has to be used. The ones who used it bought it, probably not legitimately, from the company. Do you blame Smith and Wesson for all gun deaths?"

"No!"

"Then be reasonable."

"The bomb had Stark Industries on it. You don't understand!"

"I do understand." She stared at her. "And I've seen worse than anything Stark could put out, Wanda. Yeah, someone bought it and used it. Why don't you blame them?"

"I..." She blinked.

"Did you go on a vendetta and mind screw them the same way you did him?"

"He..."

"Think about the one that hit your house. Let's look at it." Wanda did and it came up on the mirror. "That's...." Willow took a picture of it and sent it to someone. "Hmm. Made in the eighties by his father." She put her phone up and stared at her again. "So Howard made that." Wanda slumped into a chair, frowning at her. Willow put up her own history, letting Wanda see it. Wanda shuddered, shrinking in on herself.

"Not saying you don't have the right to be mad," Willow said more quietly when the viewing was done. "But blame the people that bombed, not the ones who created the bomb. Not the ones that built the thing. Now, let's talk about how you totally went outside that to create hell for others, becoming just like the people that bombed your family home by siccing someone else on them." Wanda flinched, shaking her head quickly. Willow nodded.

"Yeah. You did. Bullied kids often become bullies later in life to their families or their coworkers. It's kinda classic." She felt a wind and looked at the young man standing there. "You woke up on your own? That's great." She ran a checking spell over him. "Hmm. Someone helped you. Do they know? Um, Mr. Stark's AI? Does he know they don't have to pick this one up?"

"I have informed him of such, Miss Rosenburg. Thank you for letting us test magical output as well."

"Not all magic is like mine, mine's more hellmouth laced. But welcome." She looked at Wanda. "I can talk them into you being put under mentorship and you doing atonement to ease the death warrant for you," she told Wanda. "D'Hoffryn would stand up for that. He saw something coming that'll need people like you and me both. And Xander messing things up."

"He has been in many battles," she said.

Willow nodded. "Xander's a normal guy. He shouldn't have to be. He's avoiding things by going all mighty hunter guy."

The AI cleared her throat. "All the slayers in Africa are young, Miss Rosenburg. He's stated publicly that he was not going to allow them to do anything if he could, at least until they were of age to make that decision for themselves. I consider that honorable."

"Yes but he'll die of it."

"It's what a warrior does," Pietro told her. He looked at his sister. "What did you do?"

"The thing with the Hulk," she sighed, looking at him.

"Oh." He winced but nodded. "That's bad."

Willow nodded. "Most of the higher demon councils on this plane have a death warrant for her if she goes anywhere near their lands. She's really only safe right now in Central and South America. But, if she puts herself forward as atoning and perhaps apologizing, they may take it off or at least stay it. I have one for me that's stayed."

Wanda swallowed but nodded. "You..."

"Yeah, and you nearly got there too," Willow said, looking a bit smug. "They're starting to think it's all redheads with powers. Two of them have put out resolutions to take out redheads with powers of any sort. Including witches. I did atonement work for years. Still am actually.

"I had to apologize for calling all the slayers but they agreed I didn't have a choice when I did it. I had to apologize to all the slayers for it to be valid. I've written letters to the young ones that haven't been born yet with the whole problem that got them automatically called so they can read it when they're older. They'll get them when they do Council history. What I did was inexcusable. What you did was not that much better."

"We were in a battle..." Pietro started.

Willow held up a hand. "She used a city's destruction as a way to divert attention. Is that the way you think war happens?" He slumped but frowned and shook his head. "Which is why a whole lot of people want your sister's head. Me being here is helping some because it's giving her options to think about how to apologize to all those innocent people she let be destroyed." Pietro grimaced, looking at his sister.

"Because they won't hesitate to do it to her. There's three guilds of assassins who will take the death order. Two have demon members as well as human members, one's just demons. They can teleport, get her during a battle, get everyone else if it helps them. They *should* not get anyone else but...." She spread her hands. "I got stopped right after mine and the coven got me into atonement and apologies before I went to defend myself. I'm here doing that for your sister because she didn't know."

"So you're here helping her mitigate the problem," Pietro said.

Willow nodded. "Yeah. As D'Hoffryn, who's over the vengeance and justice demons, said, I'm a sign post. I can also mentor if she wants. We don't have the same sort of skills. I do magic and hers aren't magic based. It's up to her but ...I can't stop them either. No one can if they sign the order officially after another vote." She stood up. "I'm in Cleveland or Devon, England, if you need me," she told the twins.

"Sometimes I come when yelled for too." A pretty upset sorcerer stomped in. "Oh, pull up your panties and quit scowling like a nun caught in the outhouse, Strange. D'Hoffryn asked me to come talk to her." Stephen Strange glared at her. "Yay. By the way, things are not good and people are trying to make the slayers leave the US again. Have fun with that?" She smiled and disappeared.

Stephen Strange huffed. "I do not like that witch. She's irresponsible, she's mouthy, and she's cutesy. The Vishanti should have their heads examined by giving her their energies."

Wanda looked at him. "I don't think she's your sort of magic. You both feel different."

"It could be." He stared at her. "I got visited by the High Council of New York area. They warned me to warn you to stay out of New York. They made sure to tell me that they did not have a death warrant out for you but another one trying for you would add stress to the local area and they did not need that." She rolled her eyes. "They are completely serious, Wanda. You must be careful."

He looked at Pietro and tested him, nodding some. "At least you're healthy and fully back, not a half shade." Pietro shuddered. "Be safe. The rest will be back later." He went home via portal and called Tony to warn him Pietro was already alive and back with his sister. Tony asked him what he knew about the boy who had shown up. He nearly laughed and told him what he knew about the problems the boy had had over the last few years. Including that getting him near any hellmouth was a bad idea. Also that he had heard that wasn't the boy, it was a Messenger.

***

Tony hung up, looking at the others. "Someone helped Pietro wake up sooner and he's fine. They're talking at the new center." He stood up. "Strange said that wasn't Harris, it was a messenger of some sort or another."

Rhodey nodded. "He called right after they left, said he's with the mini that he had to rescue. Said he had to talk her into being rescued." Steve Rogers got up and stomped off. "Guess that messenger was right about that part."

Stark looked it up, nodding at what he saw. "Yeah. Whoever was." He let the others see it. "Should we go raid that base, see if they're affiliated?"

Willow faded in, staring at him. "The mini slayer's in bad shape. The lab itself has a lot of bad things going on that we're not sure if she got hit with or not, and Xander's passed out. If you want to go raid that base, go in wearing decontam gear?" she suggested then smiled. "Or you can handle the problem coming up next week for him if he's still in the hospital bed beside her in quarantine." She grinned and nodded. "Because none of us at the Council seem to be able to go anywhere down here. They don't want us to come in, they don't want the older slayers to come in to help Xander.... Frankly, I'm about to let the whatever-it-is eat the next one so they stop that petty shit."

"Aren't there of-age slayers here somewhere?" Stark demanded.

Willow shook her head. "The only one he had got to be evacuated after being set on fire by someone religious." She shrugged. "She's still in England healing." Stark groaned but nodded. "I have not a single clue. We have not a clue what they may have gotten onto her, or what Xander may have gotten into when he went to rescue her.

"And I really need to nag him about that but I'm being calm and reasonable by telling you guys that if you wanted to raid that base, the nice people in Wakanda's national hospital might be happy to know." She waved a hand and left. Then she came back. "By the way, Cordelia's awfully blunt but honest. She's bluntly bitchy but honest." She shrugged. "That's why the PTB made her their messenger when their visions to her killed her." She left again.

Stark blinked at the others, who all nodded. "Someone call there, see if they need to know and what specifically we're looking for?" Bucky moved to do that while Stark got what they'd probably need. "With our luck it's a bio warfare lab," he said as he packed stuff to put onto the jet.

Natasha frowned. "There's none nearby, Stark."

"That you know of, Romanoff. You don't know everything." He called Harris' phone. "It's Stark. Yeah, the redheaded witch asked us to.... Sure, we can back up a few of yours, General Okoye. I can do that. Yup, Rhodey and I are both here. We can meet the Princess there. Thank you." He hung up. "Rhodey, we'll need full decontam gear, both suits are set up for that. Suit up. You, go see if you can figure out who they were with?" he told Romanoff, getting into the jet to put on the suit. Rhodey and he flew off together, going to meet the their head science team there. He landed first, nodding at the soldiers. "Where do you need us?"

Shuri looked over, already in her own pressure suit. "Take a monitor and go to the holding area. We need to know if she was exposed to anything but the gas grenade Watcher Harris took pictures of." Tony nodded, going to do that. Rhodey helped the warriors protect the small group in case others showed up. She took the labs over to index, take samples, and destroy things. They had many wrong things in there.

The monitor from the holding area gave her new ideas. Thankfully Harris had gotten her to them instead of just any hospital. Who knows what might've happened. Shuri found a vault she did not like and let out a swear. The soldiers all snapped to attention. "Bring the containment case," she ordered. "We're confiscating their sample vault before some stupid colonizer gets into it."

Stark came back to look. "Call Helen Cho," he said, looking at her. "She's got some background in it." She nodded, making that call while he helped log samples in as they were put into the containment case. "Thankfully this isn't HYDRA."

"No, but they're as stupid as HYDRA was," she complained. A soldier nearby laughed but nodded at that. "If not worse!"

"Supposedly this lab was researching treatments," Stark said. "They were taken over by a government body last month. The former scientists are nowhere to be found." Shuri groaned. "Romanoff found that and passed it on to your security team's office. There's no sign of anything down there but that gas grenade."

"I hope the child and watcher are both safe then," she said. "No child deserves such illness and he's actually pretty decent for being a broken white boy with a heroic drive."

Stark put a hand on her arm. "Harris jumped in because vampires took out his friend he'd known since before he could walk," he said quietly. "It's pretty normal to want to make sure no one else does that." She nodded, sighing at that information. "And then the slayers keep telling him he's normal."

"That certainly explains a lot," she quipped. "Thank you. We won't nag him too much."

"Her father gave her to them," he told her.

She squinted, then growled. "Yes, some people need beheaded," she decided. They heard firing from outside. "Let's step this up. Whoever just came home." They finished and Stark went out to help guard them. He could take more damage than a normal person. Shuri came out with the last confiscation case and they got into the jet. "Stark," she yelled.

"Go ahead. I'll join you. Rhodey, fly guard." He nodded and took off after the jet, firing at a few more groups. Stark went back to firing on the idiots. He fired on the building then flew off quickly while the building went up. He mentally groaned because he spotted local military coming in. Hopefully they hadn't been fighting them instead of some evil entity. Though they were firing on the military vehicles so it looked like they were good.

***

Xander looked up from his quarantine room, standing up when the nurse came in. "How is she?"

"She's still fevered, still dehydrated. We've got her on two IV's and are feeding her some anti-virals just in case. You, sit." He sat down and let her take some blood and test his vital signs. "We need to ask, Watcher Harris. Why are you not like us?"

"Oh. Um..." He grimaced. "Does it look like fish stuff or something else?"

"Fish....stuff?"

"Back in high school we had a group of people turning into black, slimy swamp monster looking creatures that were eating some of the teammates. They all used to be on the swim team so I joined to see what was going on so we could defeat the bad guy and all that."

"You were fighting demons in high school?" she demanded.

"I backed up Buffy when she came to Sunnydale. Starting back in tenth grade." She groaned. "So anyway, the coach had captured a mermaid and had cut her up and fed her blood and parts to us through the sauna all the team had to go through after each daily practice. We detoxed me when we figured it out and let the mermaid swim team members come up to get their missing member to rightfully bury, and eat the coach." He shrugged but grinned slightly. "I had a full blood transfusion because of that but I'm told I have a few dots of it here and there."

She rubbed her forehead through the hood. Then she nodded and left, going to tell the others. The science and medical team had been listening. They all looked less than amused. Shuri sighed and turned on the microphone. "Why do you read of radiation?"

"The hellmouth probably. It used to be under the high school's library."

She clicked it off to look at the others. They all shrugged. One went in to talk to him about what a hellmouth was. They figured out he meant the hole that leaked demons sometimes and that made more sense to them. When he pulled up their site on what they knew about hellmouths that gave the science team a headache. Again. Though it did explain a lot that they had wondered about the Council.

***

Xander waved at the picture on his phone that night. "When I went to save one of my girls, the idiots who had her used some sort of gas grenade," he told Faith and Giles. "They've got us both in quarantine just in case. They don't think I've been exposed but they think Ki might have been exposed to something there. Then I was treating her afterward. The ass munching idiots took over a biowarfare defense lab and turned it to their fun and games. So I'm out for at least another week.

"She's barely waking up. And her father gave her to them. I told the police in her town to tell her mother since her father wouldn't let her near the phone. She's safe and we're in good hands. I made sure she came to the best hospital I knew of in a day's range of where we were." He sipped some water. "The hellmouth in Nairobi will be having an issue soon though. Some demons trying to use it to get home. They're totally peaceful but ..." He shrugged.

Faith nodded. "Got it. They got a kraken on top?"

"No, Nairobi doesn't. Which is why it's used a lot as a go-home spot. The locals are a bit freaked by that."

"I can handle that," Faith agreed. "You good?"

"Bit warm. It's hot down here. No air circulation due to the quarantine thing."

Giles cleared his throat. "They're sure you're not going to get sick?"

"They were pretty sure that even if I did, something weird in me fought it off. They can't find any viral signs at all. Kisembo got gas grenaded before I got there and they're not sure what she got exposed to." Giles nodded. "And if I find those assholes, or her father, I'm going to kick an ass. Her mother has an aunt who's probably decent, never met her but her mother seems to look up to her. So we can find her a good resting spot within the family hopefully."

"Yeah, I can be down there in three days, boytoy," Faith said. "Where are you?"

"Wakanda. At the national hospital in the capitol. The only airport that they allow to fly in is in Egypt. So go to lower Egypt's main city, the one I usually fly out of, and then catch a commuter plane, Faith. My truck's here and they probably cleaned it."

"Yup, I can do that." She looked at Giles, who nodded. "Can I bring the mini anything?"

"She could probably use something to suck on. She's only nine."

"Got it. Some coloring books too then. Okay, get her better."

"She's in the next room and we have a video conferencing system between us." He got up to and turned it on, smiling at the nurse. "She's got a call." The girl looked over. The nurse finished drawing blood and left them alone. "Here, dear." He held it up so she could see.

"Hey, Munchkin."

"Faith!" she cooed. "Ohhh!" She came over to get nearer to the tv, talking to the senior girl. They chatted and Faith promised to bring her something candy-like to suck on while she was in there. She waved and shut it off but Xander could hear her crying. Xander gave the nurse a look, who winced. Xander snuck over there and cuddled her.

"If I'm going to get sick, I'm already exposed," he said when she flinched. She cuddled him and let herself cry. "We'll figure it out," he reminded her, petting her hair down.
"Girls with huge futures often have shitty things happen to make them stronger, because the PTB always underestimate how strong you are." She nodded, pulling back. He wiped her cheeks off with a grin.

"This is part of my job as your watcher, kiddo. I'm always here to be cried on about the big and the little things. Just like when you lost your bunny rabbit that time." The doctor was glaring from the doorway. "If she's going to get sick I've already been exposed and she needed a hug," Xander said, glaring at him. "Also, why so much blood work? She's pale from it. The nurse just drew nine vials."

"We need it to test what she got exposed to."

"There was a team that went to the lab." He got a guard in and Xander shrugged. "Nope. Not leaving her in here by herself. It's scaring her. You wouldn't do this to normal kids." The guard called that in and the science team came in. "She's nine," he reminded them. "Also they just drew nine vials of blood for *some* reason?" he asked patiently.

The doctor from the science team frowned. "Nine? We got four." He glared at the medical doctor.

"She is not human!"

"She is. She's a mini slayer. Already activated and learning how to be an adult at the same time. And yes, I protect all my minis within an inch of your lives." The girl giggled against his shoulder but snuffled and fell asleep. Xander looked down, shifting her some to cuddle her better. "There, you rest," he said quietly, letting her nap on his shoulder. "By the way, Faith's on her way down to get my truck so she can take over until she's out."

"We can expel you," one of the guards said with a smile.

Xander smirked back. "Then I'd be taking her with me. Unlike *many* I'd never hurt a child." He glared at him until the guy backed away and holstered his weapon. He looked at the science doctor again. "So he's trying to experiment on her like he's an ancient German?"

"Apparently. Though we do have questions about how slayers come to be."

"Mystical download. The Powers That Be, who're over the slayer calling, choose however. They're playing chess with humanity. The original slayer was made by some sorcerers fighting ancient demon societies by forcing some of their gifts into her. Sineya was made into a weapon and a copy of her spirit was passed down to the next slayer when she died, which then gathered another one, and on and on, and now it has the soul imprint of every former slayer given to each new girl.

"Along with fighting knowledge, weapons knowledge, and a few gifts like getting period-style cramps whenever there's vampires around. We have a document from the old Council's library that was passed down until writing started. Papyrus really will not dissolve for anything at times. Also, we found where she was made. It's got some carvings on the walls that I've taken rubbings of and pictures of to send in."

"How do you know her name?" the scientist sneered.

"Buffy had to call up her spirit to help her with a battle against US army people who were trying to torture and experiment on demons in our town. Also, any slayer can meditate and talk to the slayer spirit. I teach them all how to do that."

The scientist blinked, staring at him. "Excuse me?"

Shuri stomped that way. "He's right. I've seen copies of that document when I wondered. The new Council will let people research in their libraries." Xander nodded with a grin. "Is she fine?"

"Freaked out, upset, they drew nine vials of blood and she's weakened by all the blood drawing. Frankly, if I'm going to get sick I'm already infected and I'm not going to leave her alone in a room by herself. You wouldn't do it with a regular kid in a regular hospital."

"No, we wouldn't," Shuri agreed. She smirked at him. "You are mouthy."

"Yes I am. When I need to be to protect the girls. Also, Faith's on her way to handle my rounds for a bit."

She nodded. "We know of her. Did you tell her how to get here?"

"The airport and commuter plane service from the Egyptian airport I usually fly out of."

"That's reasonable. We can handle that. We have cleaned your truck."

"Did you open all the hidden areas? Because some can only be opened once."

She shook her head with a sigh. "No. We will scan it for traces." He grinned and nodded. "Is she fine?"

Xander checked her neck pulse then pushed her back some to look her face over. "Still a bit dehydrated, fever's mostly down, and she's pretty weak from only having soup. Slayers have super high metabolisms. Can she have some peanut butter?"

"We can get her food," Shuri agreed. "Just soft things so she doesn't throw it up."

"Peanut butter is really hard to throw up," he agreed. "And stomach coating." She nodded, making that order. "Really, girls like her should eat about four to five thousand calories a day."

Shuri shuddered. "I don't eat that much in two days."

"Yeah but she's got a super high metabolism. All slayers do. Buffy eats eight or nine thousand a day and she's still usually just the wrong side of skinny unless she's dating."

Shuri nodded. "I can understand that." A figure faded in. "A ghost?" she demanded.

"Whistler, the head messenger for the PTB," Xander said. "What's up, Whistler?"

"Nairobi."

"Peaceful ones trying to get home. Faith's on her way down. I can call down there if you think I need to, that way they're warned Faith's coming."

Whistler stared at him. "It'll open unexpectedly in two days." Xander flipped open his phone and called, repeating that. "She's weak but that's mostly a reaction to the gas. We have her living for at least another ten years, Harris."

Xander looked up. "Is that like them deciding I'm going to die in Stockholm in three years when we had that battle last year?"

"Could be," he admitted. Then he smirked as Cordelia faded in.

"Hey," he said with a nod and a grin. "Got Giles on the phone. Any other orders from on high?"

"She's going to be weak for weeks thanks to all that," Cordy said, running a hand over her head. "But she'll be fine as long as they quit treating her like an experiment. And you." She smirked at him.

He stole a kiss and grinned at her. "It won't happen and I heard you took my image to yell at people."

"I did. Felt damn good too. You need to do more of that. And no kissing, Xander. You need to brush your teeth."

He shrugged but grinned. "Sorry, oh great Messenger. Any other orders?"

"Just get her well. We have no idea about her future family matters."

"My mom?" she asked, blinking up at her. "You're Cordelia," she said in awe. "Xander has pictures of you." Xander poked her on the arm and pointed. "Oh, wow, you're Whistler! Oh! Oh, no! That means bad things are coming."

Cordelia leaned down to get into her face, smiling at her. "We came to calm down Xander. He's going to throw a fit about you being scared of all this, kiddo." She grinned. "It's not a bad thing this time. Maybe next time we see you." She winked. "Make Xander buy you pink stuff." She straightened up to look at Xander. "Temper temper," she quipped then disappeared.

Whistler sighed but shook his head. "Some days, she's very...energetic."

Xander grinned. "Could be Anya, Whistler."

"Please don't wish that on us." He stared at him. "She'll be fine as long as she starts to eat again and all that. Her new family, not sure."

"My mom?" she demanded, standing up but wobbling until Xander steadied her. "Is she not all right?"

"I have no idea," Whistler admitted. "I know your father's in real trouble and the police down there are really mad at him for this." She grimaced but nodded. "We'll find you someone you can grow up with until all that's figured out. That way you don't turn into Xander." She put her hands on her hips and tapped a foot, staring at him. He smiled at Xander. "She's as strong as Buffy ever was." He looked at her. "You'll do great when it's your turn. Never lose full hope in humanity but remember what you know of them."

She nodded once. "I can do that. Is Sia all right? I was chatting with her the night before they took me."

"She's fine. With her aunt and grandmother because her mother's shouting at people again." She glared. He smiled. "You're a tough puppy, little one. Grow up to be the protective bitch you need to be."

"Of course I will. I'm a slayer in training." Whistler nodded and patted her on the head before leaving.

Xander put her back onto the bed, staring at her. "You remind me of a nicer version of Cordelia sometimes. She was strong and mouthy and could lead really well when she wanted to. Thankfully you'll be nicer than she was." She giggled and hugged him. "I like you too. Nap until we can get you some food." Her stomach rumbled, making her blush and duck her head. "Soon, kiddo. Rest." She curled up against his side again. He looked at the staring people. "I know you saw them." They nodded. "I dated Cordelia in high school. We were not good together a lot of the time." He looked down then at them again. "Can she get some food please?"

"Of course," Shuri agreed. "You need food to heal." She told a guard that and he nodded, going to get them something. She looked at Xander. "You absorbed demon taint."

Xander shrugged a bit. "Mermaid blood will change yours some but I had two possessions before then. One a primal and the other a chaos spell someone did to most of the town."

She rubbed her forehead then nodded. "Are there others like you?"

"Don't know. I've only been in a few places in California, Cleveland, then down here. I've found a few kinda like me. Though I need to get that stupid song out of my head," he complained to himself, shaking his head quickly. She laughed. "Yeah, I get that now and then. It's lack of sleep."

She nodded. "We can keep you two together. We'll know later tonight if she's been exposed to things. Have her eat." She got the others out of the room and let the guard feed them then got more food sent in for him since he fed her all his. He also protected the young girl from the guard that came in to sneer at him for being white. When the guard started to beat him for daring to do things he wouldn't do, Xander got up and stomped him into the floor then sat back down to cuddle his slayer.

The nurses got to drag the guard out to treat his injuries. The princess was amused but she was used to the pigheaded morons that sometimes came from their stubbornest of people. She checked their blood herself that night and nodded, going to talk to them again. The little one was pouting about jell-o but she was nine. "We do not think that she's infected with anything." Xander smiled at her for that. "One of our guards called down there and they're, frankly, stupid down there."

"I figured as much," Xander agreed. "I've got a few girls that went to school." Shuri smirked at that. "Most went back home after a year or so of parental fixing. We can see if she's got aunts or cousins."

Shuri nodded. "That's a good idea. Slayer Faith has shown up and gotten your truck though."

"We can rent a car," Xander promised. "Airports often have one." Shuri nodded. "She's totally cleared?"

"By tomorrow night. Right now she's still got a tiny fever." The girl pouted at her. "You're nearly better," she said, patting her on the head. "Your watcher was smart to bring you here. There were some very nasty things in that lab you could have been exposed to. Then you'd have to be in a hospital for days longer."

"That'd suck," the girl said quietly, staring up at her. "Hospitals are full of mean people who have needles."

"They do but most of the time the needles are to make you better," Xander said patiently.

She scowled at him. "You don't like them either!"

"No I don't. Why are you pouty?"

"It's green, yucky jell-o. Like the missionaries served us." She pouted at the princess. "Is there other less yucky jell-o? Please? Xander could use some too because I ate all his."

Shuri smiled. "I had that request many times. Let me see what we have around." She patted her ahead. "I'll be right back." She went to talk to a nurse, who did indeed have some yellow jell-o. The girl beamed and stole it from Shuri's hand to gulp.

"Manners," Xander hissed.

"Sorry. I'm really hungry and wanting sweets. Thank you, Doctor."

Shuri grinned. "I'm not that sort of doctor." The girl stopped eating to stare at her, and she could see the same sort of scary look her brother had learned to use over the years. "I'm Shuri," she said. "I'm a bioengineer so I'm the one looking at what the lab held."

"Like the princess?" she asked, eyes wide. "Princesses are in fairy tales! They're not in hospitals!"

"Not all princesses wear ball gowns," she said with a wink. "Some of us wear lab coats." She smiled at Xander. "She is very sweet."

"Usually," he agreed with a grin for her then at his slayer. He looked at Shuri again. "Is mine still clear?"

"We still cannot tell anything from your blood," she admitted, smirking at him. "You are more confusing than sodoku was when I was three." She walked off.

"That's like crossword puzzles but with numbers and squares," Xander told her.

"Oh!" She nodded. "That sounds really hard. I'm not that smart."

"Bullshit," Xander said firmly. "You are that smart, you'll continue to be that smart, and some day you're going to graduate high school and I'm going to go threaten your roommate in college." She whined but nodded, eating the jell-o. Xander could have the yucky green stuff for her. Then she settled in to work on her learning stuff. They had a book in there so she could read. Xander could help with the big words. Shuri dropped off some math homework for her too. It was sweet of her but she hated homework. It was almost as nasty as being in a hospital was.

***

Xander and Kisembo met Faith when she showed up at the meeting he had called, Kisembo running over to hug her. "I'm okay!" she cooed, cuddling her. "The nasty gas is out of my system. I did good on the math test they gave me, and I stole Xander's breakfast."

Faith grinned at the kid. "That's all great things. We all like stealing from Xander's plates. And his t-shirts." She looked at Xander. "Just got out?"

"An hour ago," he agreed. "I need to get her home anyway so can you still handle Nairobi?"

"Probably, yeah." She looked down. "You're napping?" she asked with a grin.

"No one can sleep in a hospital," Xander reminded her, taking Ki back. "C'mon, we'll go find you an auntie. Or go see Seble. Her mom's jonsing for grandkids." He handed Faith the keys. He and Kisembo got into the passenger's side, the baby slayer going into the middle spot to be hitched down. Faith got in to drive. "Anything else happening up there?"

"Two of the research team wanted me to go visit the cave you found."

Xander shook his head. "No. There's some writing on one wall that showed no further slayer should go in or it could cause a problem."

"Okay. Can they come down?"

"Sure," he said with a grin and a nod for her. "I'm sure they can travel. They got to the US from England."

She snickered but nodded that was true. They traveled most of the day, with stopping for lunch a few times for the girls. Faith dropped them in Kisembo's town and went to the problem portal area to handle the fits going on. She showed up and a few people gave her worried looks because she got out of Xander's truck. "He's with Ki, she got sick so he called me from Cleveland. I'm Faith, the senior slayer." She smiled. "What's the sitch going on this time?"

The soldiers all stared at her in awe. "He called in another slayer?" the general said, pushing his way to the front.

Faith nodded, walking closer. "Ki got hurt by some idiots with gas grenades. He spent the last week in a hospital with her. Now he's got to get her into a family that won't hurt her since her father knew 'em."

The general winced. "That poor child. We have a cover over our hellmouth, Slayer Faith. This way."

She nodded, going that way with them. Faith blinked at the demons waiting. "Hidey-ho, neighbors," she quipped, smiling at one.

"Faith!" the demon said, staring at her in awe. "Why are you here?"

"Xander's with Ki, who got gas grenaded."

"Oh, dear. His temper?" he asked very quietly.

"Nah. Already did that. She was in the hospital." She shrugged but grinned. "This must be your wife."

"Yes! I bring her home to overthrow my mother if she complains!" His wife elbowed him while rolling her eyes on the stalks.

"I'm sure his mother will accept me but if not, we can handle it, Slayer Faith."

"That's good. Xander sent for me so he could help the little one. So, what's the problem, guys?"

"The portal tends to belch out strange things whenever it's opened. Which is why we hate letting them use it," the general complained.

Faith nodded. "At least yours doesn't have a kraken." She looked at the demon. "No portal makers?"

"Six hundred miles away," he said dryly. "And charges a lifetime's pay."

Faith nodded. "Makes sense. We have some of this in Cleveland. Sure, I can fight whatever comes out. You guys coming back?"

"We'll come back through the LA portal," the new wife said with a smile. "I've wanted to see that city and all the various demons there."

"I've spent some time in LA. It's not as weird as you hear in the news but it can be pretty weird. Visit Caritas. It's a safe spot and a karaoke bar."

The male demon smiled and nodded. "I've met Lorne. He is very unusual and quite a place to visit." He smiled at his wife. "You may need a sword." She pulled it off her back. "Thank you, Slayer Faith."

"Welcome. Have a good honeymoon, guys, and I hope his mom approves so there's no fighting." They smiled and the sorcerer opened the hellmouth portal for them. They left quickly with two others following them. One little puffball came out. Faith blinked. "Back up," she ordered.

"It's tiny and cute," a soldier complained.

Faith shot a quick glare at him. "It breathes diseases and has about three thousand teeth. Move!" They moved back and she shot it instead with her crossbow. It screamed and flailed around but didn't die. "Could use a glass box to put it in." They got her one and she trapped it quickly, holding her breath. She sighed, staring at it. "Those things are nasty but they're handy on their own realm." She looked over at the people staring. She pulled out her phone to take a picture of it to send to Xander and to Giles. Xander sent back to burn it, he usually did. This made the fourth through that portal and they were all young. Giles sent back something that had to be translated from trash talk. She pulled up their page, letting the general see it. "Xander said he usually burns them."

The general read it over, smiling at the message that came in. "Whoever that is seems most upset."

She looked and nodded. "Giles is in the land of swearing like a gutter snipe. But it's a good time for it." She kicked the box and it quit moving. "So let me dispose of this thing before it infects others." They smiled. "It's like a really stupid purse dog on their realm apparently. To us, they just make us really sick in many weird, uncomfortable ways. One of the girls got VD from one only it was in her nose." The general tried not to laugh as he handed the phone back. Faith put it into her pocket, bending down to lock the box around the demon so it could not get out.

"Okay, let me...see if X knows someone who wants this before I burn it. I'll do his rounds for a few days." They nodded and the general shook her hand so she could take the box to the truck and drive off. She called the main Council building to tell Giles she had it trapped and about the cave. Giles agreed that it had been in the pictures so he'd send one of the research team down that night. He'd call Xander to see where they needed to fly into.

Faith called the embassy that had made sure she could pick up Xander's truck. "It's Slayer Faith. We have a demon that's fairly regular but it breaths diseases. Do you know of any group that may be able to handle the stupid thing? Otherwise I'll just burn it." She listened. "Yeah, I'm by the hellmouth in Nairobi. Yeah, I can meet someone there. Thank you." She put the area into her phone and the map system told her where to go. She turned on the radio and retuned it to an American rock station, bopping as she drove off.

***

Shuri walked out of the jet, coming over to look at it. "What is it?"

"It's a purse dog on a demon realm basically." She pulled up the thing's site to show her. "I know one breathed on and lapped a teenage slayer in Cleveland and her nose got VD. Dripped the clap for weeks."

"Eww," Shuri said, looking at her. Faith shrugged but grinned. "That's very weird. Is it sentient?"

"It has the brain of about a dustball. They're not smart. They're happy puppies that love to make us all sick. A bigger dog-type species that's sentient owns a lot of them."

Shuri shook her head. "That's so weird." She handed the phone back and used a probe to stick into a port in the glass box. "Did you feed it?"

"Watered it. Fed it, I have no idea what it eats." She shrugged. "I'm not tryin' to be mean to it or anything. All I know is it's dangerous to humans."

"We can take it and put it with a robot to monitor its output," Shuri decided. "That way we're not infected." She smiled. "Is the little one all right?"

"Xander's had a holy fit on her father and his family. The mother's MIA, he's not sure. Her family might do good. If not, X knows a few good schools the girls have attended when they needed to. Then we'll figure it out."

"That's good. She seemed sweet. He is very confusing."

Faith grinned at her. "Many of us slayers feel like that about Xander, yeah. He's...just a Xander. He's very unique."

"That's one way of putting it," Shuri agreed, smiling at her. "We are all confused by his blood."

"Just don't tell anyone. He's stupidly worried about that."

"I know why, now. That came in later." She shook her head quickly. "How did he get those?"

"He fell into a burial chamber. The ghosts did it."

Shuri slumped, shaking her head with a sigh. "I thought some of our people talking with our ancestors was weird," she muttered. Faith giggled but nodded. "Thank you for this interesting pet."

"You're welcome. Xan said this was the fourth that's come through."

"I can see why it's a worry. We can bring it home. Thank you." They shook hands and Shuri carried the box back to the jet so she could fly home. Faith got into the truck and drove off to find dinner and a hotel for the night. When Shuri got back, she had one of Stark's robots there. "It'll need monitored."

"You can slide a monitoring system here," he said, opening up a part of the case. "This one's set up to clean up and take samples, plus play fetch and pet it." He stared at the little creature. "It's cute."

"It's deadly." She got a monitor set up and put them into a room together. The little demon pet was happy with the robot playing with it and the monitor gave them a horrifying reading. "I'm putting the next gold digger that bothers my brother in there with it. They probably understand pets."

Stark grinned. "They probably have one." He looked at her. "Can we get results from Harris?"

"They're classified. He did weird things that gave him strange problems."

"So we've heard." He pulled up the file they had built on the boy. "That's all that the intelligence people in the US could find."

She read it and made notes before handing it back. He read it and winced. She smiled and nodded. "Fish stuff. He said mermaid."

"Mermaid," Stark said slowly. "Yeah, sure." Shuri looked on the same site that Faith had pulled up for that creature. It had a listing for mermaids. Including their usual habitats. Stark took it to read, frowning at it. "What the fuck?" he muttered. She giggled but nodded. "Okay," he said, handing it back.

"Someone mentioned that your army used to experiment on demons."

"The US army? That doesn't totally surprise me. I should look that up." He frowned at the happy little demon. "He's breathing green stuff."

She checked the monitor's output. "The slayer Faith said that one gave a slayer it licked clap in the nose. Now the robot has it." She sighed in displeasure but it could handle it for now.

Stark walked off shaking his head. "Let me look them up and see how wrong it was."

"Probably a lot." He nodded he agreed. She went back to monitoring the new pet. It was cute, but in that so ugly it was cute way. "This is not the pet my mother would have wanted me to have when I asked her for a gazelle as a pet." She got vegetables sent in for the thing to eat since the site said it was vegetarian. It chowed down and drank some too so it was a happy pet again. Her brother came to look at it. She showed him the site on it, getting a groan and a nod. She grinned. "Not exactly the gazelle I used to want."

"No, this is weirder," he agreed. "Is it going to live here long?"

She smiled. "It breathes diseases like the mythical nundu. Only less deadly ones apparently."

He patted her on the shoulder before walking off to groan in peace about his weird little sister. Sometimes, she worried him. A lot.

***

The US president met with his advisors, who were all very confused about why he was focusing on one young watcher. "Sir," one said. "He doesn't have the experience necessary for a political job. Nor would he probably want it." He stared at his boss, censoring any thoughts about him in case the rumors that he had hired mutants to read their thoughts was true. "I also doubt that you'll get him to leave his slayers down there. He is the only one doing the job on that whole continent."

"They have others," he said with a hand wave.

"No they don't, sir," another said. "The Council has very few staff members at the moment. Since the rest got blown up a few years ago they haven't really been able to hire."

"I'm sure some terrorist did that," he said with a grimace.

"No, it was a demonic menace. The same one that sank Sunnydale, out in California, and killed a lot of the pre-slayers we had at that time," the first advisor said patiently. "There's a whole report on that, sir. It's even been made into a Hallmark movie. Twice." The president shot a glare at him. "Harris is literally the only watcher in Africa. They don't have anyone who'd be able to take over for him. Intelligence confirmed that he doesn't have a single adult slayer down there with him unless he borrows. Like what happened when he was with one of his girls in the hospital."

"She got hurt milking her family's cow or something?" the president snorted.

"No. She got handed to some militants by her father. They exposed her to a minor biological weapon. They spent almost a week in Wakanda in medical care to make sure she was treated and they weren't contagious." The president stared at him. "Wakanda's top science team and a few Avengers went to take down the lab when they heard about it."

"Do we know what they used?" another one asked.

"Minor gas grenade sort. Ran a fever. Slayers thankfully have healing gifts that mean they heal very fast so she's fine after a few days on an IV." He pulled up the reports. "Wakanda confiscated anything they found in that lab so it can't be used on others." He let the intelligence advisor see that file.

"Hmm. That one agent in the CIA heard. What is that...a demonic disease spreading creature. Huh."

"By the Council's files it's what some species use as a purse dog," the first advisor said, leaning back with a smug look. "They're not able to get infected by anything. Apparently there's a small colony near wherever the hellmouth in Nairobi ends on their end since it's the fourth that's come through."

"Hmm. Can we get our socialites one?" he joked with a grin, handing the tablet back.

"An updated report noted that it blew out some versions of venereal diseases. Apparently the robot watching over it has the clap. Somehow." The others in the room nodded. "We do have reports that a younger slayer, just about twelve or so, tried to convince some socialite sorts that they were great, easy pets but they stopped her and she's still grounded to the center in Nebraska."

The president shook his head. "Why would anyone want one?"

"It's cute, sir. Cuter than any tiny dog. It's fluffy, cute, and rare. I'm sure your daughter would coo at it before she knew what it was capable of." He looked at the others. "I don't think most of us would mind SHIELD changing hands. Though we do have some notes about Nick Fury actually being alive." He sighed. "Apparently he's handling things in the shadows while supposedly dead."

"He had one person who could've taken over if we didn't want Hill," the intelligence advisor noted. "He died during the battle for New York."

"Coulson's alive and in charge of there," the president said. They all groaned.

"Probably another Nick Fury plan," the intelligence advisor complained. "They work, but they're problematic from the outside."

"That boy could do it," the president said again.

"Sir, he's never been an agent. Other agents won't listen to him. He doesn't have the experience to handle a full agency. He still won't give up his duty to the girls down there. He can't run an agency from his pickup truck in Africa."

"His truck?" another advisor asked.

"He travels around to each of his slayers and handles problems. He hardly ever gets more than a few days in one area at a time, and those are probably around the girls he's training. By the records we have of what he's done he's well known to a few hotels down there and some villages, and he camps a lot."

The president shook his head quickly. "That's weird."

"Yes but necessary. If he had more people to help him I'm sure he'd do more training than battles. He probably would really like not to have any more battles," the intelligence advisor said patiently. "He's had six in the last six months, most of them all in one month." He looked at the others. "What about the main Council building? I've heard that someone tried the girls again so they're promising to go on mass vacation like when they went to Brazil?" The others nodded and looked that up. A few nodded again when they found it. "How serious?"

"Military again," one said, looking up. "The girls have mostly already evacuated. There's a skeleton crew and Summers there." That got a few sighs.

"They can go under the military," the president sneered.

"No they can't, sir," one of the advisors said, trying to sound patient. "They would ruin the slayers and their lives. It'd be worse than what they got when the old Council was in charge and making them little brainwashed soldiers who expected to die quickly. And the last time someone tried that move, they realized it was a problem when their whole base got taken out by demons rescuing the girls. We lost a lot of that former base in Georgia thanks to that."

"They can't do that!" he shouted.

"Yes they can. They're human, they have free will, and they're mostly teenage girls. They are entitled to a life of their own choosing. They don't even have to patrol if they don't want to. They have free will and the new Council makes sure they can decide for their own selves."

"They can't do that," the president sneered, glaring at him. "It's leaving us uncovered."

"They can totally leave the US, sir. Nothing we can do would stop them. And if we tried they will leave the US permanently." He stared back. "And you pushing on them will mean they leave Cleveland immediately, and the other two houses with the children will follow. This is one thing we don't interrupt because it will get us all attacked." The president pulled out his phone to tweet something. And of course, a demon attacked the White House. The Secret Service, who had told the slayers that they could protect DC themselves - and had insisted on it -, were having a freak out and trying to evacuate the higher ups they were responsible for.

Somewhere, a phone rang. "Put it on speaker and out by the demon," a male voice said patiently. "I'll yell at the idiot for them. And don't argue, you're only wasting time that'll mean more renovation work that'll drive you all nuts." The secretary handed an agent the phone and he grunted and the message got repeated. They opened a window, put the phone on speaker, and let it sit on top of a bush.

"Goddess damn it! Quit doing that before they threaten the slayers again!" the male voice yelled. You could tell now it was Andrew Wells. "The bullshit you're doing means that we get blamed and if they hurt a single hair on a single slayer, I'm telling Xander! Now, back down and go home!" The demons ran from that threat. Andrew groaned. "Damn idiots worse than teenage girls, panicking about the slayers being taken hostage again," he muttered as he hung up.

The agent who was watching the phone called that in to the others. One saw the tweet from their higher up and groaned. The president was safely out of harm's way. So was the vice president. So the rest of them had to deal with the problems the man had caused. The agents really had to have a talk about this stuff. Today.

The president was scowling at the place the demons had been having a fit but he was just like that. His head guard walked up behind him. "They were trying to protect the slayers from being taken out or taken hostage by the military again, sir. That's why the main Council house in Cleveland was cleared yesterday as well. They're very worried that the slayers can't protect everyone, including them, from larger problems. The one making a statement said that they thought creating a demonic based spectacle would make people appreciate the girls again."

The president glared at him. "Did one of them plan that?"

"No, sir, a demon did. A youngish demon who was worried about the bigger threats that the slayers fight for us all."

"Why wasn't one here?" the president demanded.

"Because you ordered the Secret Service to handle DC's protection without them, sir. It was one of the first orders you signed that first afternoon." He looked it up to show him. "You made us tell them not to sit a slayer in DC unless it's a huge battle, sir." He walked off. "The landscaping staff is on their way in to evaluate the damage. It should be easily fixed, outside the one tree they knocked down."

The president seethed, going to complain to someone about those *girls* leaving the white house uncovered. Within minutes of that complaining and whining, Buffy Summers was on the news giving a press conference.

Buffy held out a paper. "One of you read this please? That way you get it right from the horse's ass." A reporter took it to read then read it out loud for the rest of them. Including the date and who signed it. She nodded. "That was *his* choice, not ours. We were more than willing to have a slayer nearby to protect the rest of DC, since the Secret Service probably won't be protecting the non-politician parts of town if something happens, but we were told we were *girls* and it's not our jobs," she said bluntly, staring at them. "Blame the idiot who signed that. Also, thank Andrew for making them leave so fast."

"What happened?" one reporter in the back asked.

She sighed, pushing her hair back behind her ears. "One of the peaceful warrior clans has some teenagers who're worried about the newest move to capture the younger slayers. They thought that showing up being all scary and mean would make people appreciate us and our duty so they won't try to kidnap us again. It's sweet they're so worried about us." She grinned. "I think it's really nice that they're worried about us not being around to protect everyone." A few nodded. "We can't blame them for that plan. They weren't going to do any human any harm. They were going to rip up a garden or something and then flee into the night."

"Like a false flag attack," another reporter said, nodding some.

Buffy shrugged. "Went right over my ponytail," she said bluntly. "I'm not the tactical slayer." A few smiled at that. Her phone beeped. "Oh, yeah, it is. Xander said that's what you meant so yeah." She put her phone back in her pocket. "So anyway, most of the girls have already been evacuated from Cleveland. We have a few older girls and me here because we don't want to need to go rescue the minis again. We're kinda sorry that we destroyed part of Georgia to get the girls back the last time."

She huffed a tiny bit and shifted her stance. "Anyway, they didn't mean any harm, just to scare people. Giles has already told their clan leaders so they're in for a world of grounding and possibly spanking or maybe even being sent away from their clans. Not sure how that'll work out really." She shrugged. Her phone beeped again. She pulled it out to look at it.

"Um, guys, move!" she ordered and ran for the house. "People, vision! Move it now!" she yelled into it as she ran. The protections came up and the attack on the house was absorbed but the reporters were filming it all, live on national television. The house was still fine. The reporters got to see Willow and Andrew run out to counter the magical attack. And Andrew pull out a giant robot to handle any physical attack because one was coming up. Another text message in warning and Buffy leaned out of the house. "Reporter people, move into the protections," she yelled with a point. "Before you get hit! We'll get blamed if you die from their stupid. 'Drew, Xander saw a second missile attack."

"Yup, already got it on magical radar," he called back, sending the robot to handle it. It blew off a hand but didn't hit the house and Willow sent back a curse at whoever did it. Somewhere in Iowa a group of militant yahoos were screaming as their group turned into stones that were on eternal fire.

Willow sneered at the sky. "Let those militant yahoos do it again," she sneered. "Let's see them push a button while on fire." She huffed at the witch coming out to nag her about calming down. "I'm fine!" She stomped off. "Andrew, we need to finish taking them down. Grab your laptop. We'll work from the library."

"Sure," he agreed, nodding and following her. "I can do that. You go meditate and I'll start?"

She glared at him. "I'm. Fine!"

"Sure. I agree you're fine," he said, nodding but still following her. It was really the only safe place to be, behind her.

"Willow, do control your temper," the older witch said as she followed her. "We really must control that before you have another incident." She shot Buffy a look.

"Yeah, we need Montana or wherever to still be around," Buffy agreed with a nod. The reporters could barely see it from their waiting spot.

"Iowa," Andrew corrected on his way to the kitchen to get his computer.

"Okay, Iowa then. I'm sure they'd miss their fields and corn and potatoes or whatever they grow there. Mara said it's really pretty and her grandmother's there so we can't destroy the whole area just to get them."

"I didn't!" Willow complained. "I just turned them to stone and set them on fire for eternity." She pouted. "I'm in good control of my magic, Buffy!" She stomped a foot.

"I know you are," she promised, giving her a hug. "But we all have a point where our temper takes over and we'd probably all miss Iowa," she said more calmly. "So let's let our fingers do the computer stuff instead of the magic stuff? Then we can go out to dinner? We can have ice cream for dinner? I don't have a date tonight anyway so it's a good night for ice cream."

"I can do ice cream but I might not be done hacking them yet." She kicked the door shut and stomped off to get her laptop so she could do some more damage. The reporters heard Buffy sigh in happiness and winced. That was probably a bad sign. When Rupert Giles got there and stomped in from his car they got to film him yelling for Willow and Andrew before he shut the door. They couldn't hear what he said but they could tell someone's voice was raised. Though it sounded more girlish. The reporters shared a look and sent the reports back to their offices.

Someone was not going to be happy but at least Iowa was still a state and full of living people who weren't statues or on fire.

***

Xander leaned down to rub his temples while he listened to the CNN people have a hissy about Willow. When another person pointed out she was protecting the slayer house and any slayers there from being attacked they agreed that was good but someone probably wanted to arrest them for it. Xander sent the anchor's twitter feed a nasty message about how the law never seemed to arrest anyone that ever attacked a slayer. So yes, they had to take their own protection into their own hands. Before more of them died and the military had to do it on their own like they wanted to.

Someone answered him in a mean way but he shrugged it off and cited incidents until that one logged off with a whine of 'that's not good'. The anchor got into his feed looking for comments and found his, reading it out loud. The anchor grimaced but someone looked those up and found out Xander was right.

So that stopped the complaining at least. For now. Though they were complaining about giant robots too. Xander put up a quip about better giant robots than some witch turning a large, scary demon into the house's bodyguards. The anchor saw that one and shuddered but agreed he'd rather have a controlled giant robot that reminded someone of an anime than charmed bodyguards.

Xander shook his head and turned off the tv before he started to rant at it about the stupid in the world again. He and his truck needed to have another talk before he lost his temper.

***

An agent walked up to Xander where he was hanging out in a bar. "Mr. Harris, may I have a moment please?" he asked, staying polite.

Xander blinked at him. "What's happened now?" he asked, sipping his lite beer. It was his only day off in a few weeks. It figured something was trying to happen.

"Sir, are you aware that the US president has tried to nominate you to hold a position in the cabinet?"

Xander burst out snickering, shaking his head. "No, I didn't know that. The guy's a bit cranked."

"Yes, sir, but he's pushing you to head SHIELD." Xander burst out in louder laughter. "We'd like to help you avoid that subject as we know that you're not suited to be the guy behind the desk giving orders until you're able to retire." Xander shook his head, smirking as he finished his beer. "Is there something we can use to discourage him?"

"Well, first, I'd be the guy who sat both heads of the Avengers and had a reality talk with them about their failures." He stared at him. "Hide bound asshole and 'I just want to make it better' guy are at odds and they need to work together. Thankfully someone's got them locked in a closet." He popped a breath mint from the bowl up the bar. "You know what, there's a guy who's a better choice. He's grieving hard and needs a new thing to take his attention. He probably won't want it, and it might get the president assassinated for it by some of his enemies, but he could probably handle all that weirdness. Named Wade Wilson. He's usually in New York."

The agent looked that name up then blinked at him. "Sir...."

Xander held up a hand with a grin. "He's able to handle all that stuff I can't and he does work well with spandex hero sorts. He's worked with most of the teams up there actually. He's also former military, and has worked with SHIELD in the past."

"That's....I'll suggest that instead of you."

"You can also tell the bigoted ass that I've been exposed to demon blood and DNA so I'd probably show up as less than human. He'd hate that."

"I can do that, sir. Thank you." He shook his hand, calling that in to his supervisor. His boss had been smart to enlist the poor man in his own defense before things got out of hand.

***

Up in New York a few hours later, a different agent walked up to a guy in a hoodie and sweat pants, one who was hiding his scars. "Mr. Wilson, may we speak please?" he asked, sounding patient.

"Why?" he asked, looking him over. "I'm Canadian so not into the US military."

"No, sir, not about how you can serve the people. Um...the president," he said then sighed. "He's tried to nominate someone for the new head of SHIELD who is not suitable and that one named you instead as you've had more experience in the manners that SHIELD would have to work." Wade was gripping the bar behind him, staring at the guy. "We realize this isn't a good idea but the president has only gotten your classified file, from before, and thinks you may be a good choice and is considering it. We wanted to request that if you went after him for that, that you do so in a way that wouldn't get any of his guarding agents harmed? Please?"

Wade swallowed but nodded. "Yeah, I can be more subtle or do something so the agents don't get hurt. I know it's not your choice to guard him. There's actually a few prices on his head."

"We know," the agent agreed. "Thank you, sir, and if you're approached?"

"I'll laugh like my ass was given happy gas by a dentist who's a molester and wanted me knocked out."

"Who was originally his target?" another guy down the bar asked.

"Xander Harris, the watcher in Africa." He looked at Wade again, who was looking confused. "He explained it as you needed something to take some attention and you had massive experience with the spandex hero sort that you'd have to deal with by running SHIELD."

"Yeah, I've worked with a lot of them," Wade agreed with a nod. "I'm going to freak out now."

"Yes, sir, understood perfectly, sir. You have a better night." He nodded at him and left. Behind him, someone gasped while swearing and another person was cackling like a hyena on the hunt. Many more were getting new drinks. So the bar was going to have a good night at least.

Now all he had to do was talk to the FBI about rejecting the background check on those two warriors. The US didn't need warriors in charge of things.

***

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