Something I'm kinda working on by voracity

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Xander had Jonathan land the ship out by the cliffs, where almost no one ever went. They tried to turn on the cloaking device but it didn't fully work. They got off and all ran off because they had seen military jeeps heading their way as they landed. Jonathan went into deeper hiding than all the Xanders, who decided to go hide in Mexico for a week or so. Their original source would find them. They did still think alike.

O'Neill got out to look at the ship then around. Then up when he felt something changing. "What the fuck?" he demanded. He got onto their comm system because there were very few reasons for those geeks to kidnap another geek and take off into space suddenly and without planning anything. "City Ship Atlantis, is that you?" he ordered.

"Not under our control, General," Sheppard reported back. "A young guy showed up, made her get happy lights and steal him, then she took off. We barely got all our people back from missions. Hold on, we're landing on the water apparently. I'm getting an order to hit the chair." He logged off, going to sit in the control chair to help her land the city.

She landed, the young guy got released from the crystal column he had been trapped in and passed out onto the arms of the Marines watching him, and the city hummed and shifted over to get the power easier. Sheppard saluted as O'Neill appeared. "We have not a single clue, sir. All I've gotten is some mild fantasy level BS from a few of my people."

"That BS might be right," O'Neill admitted. McKay stomped in with one of his many tablets. "Is she recharging?"

"Apparently so. I don't know how."

"I think I know who'll have an idea," he admitted. "Get the ones who know. I'm pretty sure at least one already knows the area. We only found out after Ba'al stole that young guy to make a clone of him for his newest body." He grimaced. "Carter is pulling out her hair." The two demons and the private walked in and saluted him. He stared at the demons. "We met some beings like you two." They nodded. "I want a real report. Now."

"And none of that sci-fi, fantasy crap!" McKay ordered.

O'Neill looked at him. "Demons are real. We found that out. They've been monitoring us for years now." He looked at them. The intelligence one grinned and waved. "How long?"

"I'm the higher source. My people have a better intelligence system than the US does, General. We have some minor people doing things like clean ups and one medic as well." He patted the other demon. "And our astrophysics person." He nodded. "Is Harris all right?"

"Not when I get hold of him," O'Neill said dryly. "And his clones."

"Clones?" McKay demanded.

"Ba'al," O'Neill said dryly. "He took out Ba'al and all his future clones, all the symbiots he found, and piloted the ship back to earth because he's a Trekkie." He looked at McKay. "Then he managed to avoid us, go on hunting patrol to take out things that were eating civilians with a tiny blonde girl, and work construction while we finished deleting a piece of shit program that had been taking out demons in their town."

He looked at the demons again. The astrophysicist gave him a hug. "Carter arranged it. Do that to her. I want to know what's going on! We had Harris having some sort of funny vision thing and then he kidnaped some other geek kid his age, then took off in the ship we confiscated."

Sheppard blinked a few times. "How did they run it, sir?"

"Geeks, Sheppard. Sci-fi geeks. Another geek with that other kid built himself a girlfriend. Carter is *still* horrified that she can't tell the difference." McKay was spluttering. He looked at them again. "So? I'm not that patient today. I got flirted with by a thing with tentacles last night."

"The kraken inside the hellmouth or Karen at the demon bar, sir?" the human private asked. "I met Karen right before I enlisted. She's fun to play poker with but I avoided tentacle jewelry time as she called it like I was a frigid nun."

O'Neill blinked at him. "Probably Karen. What's a kraken?"

"The guardian of the hellmouth, sir."

"It came out when the hellmouth was opened," the intelligence agent said with a grin. "The slayers fought it off."

"First, hellmouth?" O'Neill asked. "Is that the hole that messes up Carter's computers?" They all nodded. "Why?"

"It's an energy leak from the fabric of time and space," the astrophysicist said. "We have unconfirmed sources that claim some Ancient Being opened them while experimenting on the demons they hated."

"So the hole has a name," O'Neill said dryly. "Is it the only one?" The two demons shook their heads. "Do we have sources so Carter can finish her screaming fit?"

"Has she asked the watcher guy?" the human asked. "We all knew that the librarian was weird somehow and a few people looked up his credentials because we thought it was weird he went from a major museum in England to our librarian. He was employed by something called the International Council of Watchers. Paranoid idiot sites call them watchers, girls like Summers a slayer, and that they're to handle the weird, bad things in the world."

The intelligence agent nodded. "Fairy concise and correct. Though there's more than one slayer thanks to Harris warping a prophecy. He seems to be getting quite a reputation for that really. This incident is going to make higher ups scream."

"It's certainly doing it to us," O'Neill said, glaring at him. McKay was moving from spluttering to about to scream. O'Neill put a hand over his mouth. "Yes, demons are real. I nearly got killed by three in a week. This town is weirder than anywhere we've ever been, even in the Pegasus galaxy. It's driven Carter nuts. She has literally pulled out some of her hair, then cut the mass short so she couldn't do it again.

"And a demon showed up to sniff the cut parts and eat it for her so it wasn't wasted by what it said." He moved his hand. "We know *nothing* other than Jackson is still ascended for some reason but showed up to negotiate a treaty between our two groups because whatever Ba'al did had broken an older treaty that kept demons out of human things." He looked at the groaning intelligence agent. "You know more about that?"

"Yes, sir. We studied the tablets in school."

"Harris mentioned seeing tablets in his vision thingy. That and he got a picture of a comic book character that showed him the city it showed him was Atlantis." He rubbed his forehead. "So explain this to me in little words so we all understand, gentlemen." They sighed but settled in seats to go over what they knew about Sunnydale, Harris, and the demons so McKay would be freaked out.

Of course, Sheppard didn't believe any of it until a demon appeared on the deck with stuff to set up a shrine. The Marines panicked a bit but the demon was respectful and smiled nicely at them. He wasn't harming anything, just setting up an altar. O'Neill had to come out to talk to him about it but he couldn't deny it wasn't hurting anything but all visits had to be approved by him and Sheppard in advance.

***

McKay stomped up to where Colonel Carter was staring at the current building project. He blinked when he saw three more of the guy that had been on his city. He looked at her. "What the hell?" he demanded.

"More freaky than we've ever dealt with." She handed over the notes she had made. "I asked Rupert Giles about the hellmouth. He handed me a thick, old book to go through. We wondered about a few of the spots mentioned in it." She looked at him. "Daniel's presently hiding so he's not able to be found by anyone because Ba'al got a pointy idea in his brain. He started all this."

"So they're clones?"

"Yup." She nodded once, turning to look at him. "Ba'al wanted some unknown bodies to inhabit. Harris is a warrior even if he's not as great as Teal'c or Ronan."

"Great."

"Has she started to suck up energy?"

"Yes. She's recharging a lot of things from here."

"It's helped calm down the energy spikes that were driving my machines nuts." She looked at the site again. One of the Xanders was missing. Then he came out of the school to get a drink and went back inside. "I'm told the energy thing is in there."

"The two beings explained something about it." He read over the notes, shaking his head. "I thought this was all fantasy crap."

"It is to the rest of the world." He nodded at that. "But we did get to stop some assholes in uniforms who were making us all look horrible." She walked off. McKay followed, still reading. They ran into Sheppard and O'Neill at the coffee shop. "Sir, the people on the city?"

"Are getting leave a handful at a time," Sheppard said with a weak grin for her. "Are you creeped out?"

"Yup," she agreed, nodding some. "I thought the clones were weird."

"Clones?" Sheppard asked.

"Ba'al."

"Oh, I heard about him." He sipped his coffee and moaned. "Oh, that's nice." McKay went to get his own. He was a coffee snob and got happy here too. "So now what?" She had to talk to Summers again so she let them talk about command and Atlantis things.

"We wake Harris up, we scream and rant at him, we promise he's getting a uniform, and then we warn the other three," O'Neill complained. "But the idiots who were here before us that we finished shutting down have him blacklisted."

Sheppard shook his head, looking around the little coffee shop. He could spot a few unusual looking people but ignored it for now. They probably weren't a threat right at this moment. "General, what about the city?" he asked quietly.

"Whatever she's doing is recharging some areas we couldn't get to because the power sources weren't able to," Rodney said, checking his tablet. "Within a few days we'll be able to get into those areas to see if there's necessary systems." He looked up at the feeling of staring, staring back at what had to be a demon. They weren't the usual green alien they were used to because they were lime green and wore a loudly colored mumu. "Good morning," he said dryly.

The being leaned closer. "You are the Great Loud One from the city," she said quietly. O'Neill cleared his throat. "Oh! I see." She stared at Rodney again. "Why are your kind here, Great Loud One?"

"The city said so," Sheppard said dryly. "Took off without warning us to show up here thanks to a young guy from here showing up."

She smiled at him. "We wondered about the Chaos Knight. He is very good for those of us who're peaceful."

"We'd never bother anyone peaceful," O'Neill said. "But don't try to memory charm us again please."

She grinned at him, patting him on the head. "That was not our council's call, General. They were worried about what would happen with you here. It does break treaties."

"Yeah, but Daniel is ascended and said that Ba'al did that already."

She burst out giggling. "Many evil ones want a Knight of their own. I'm shocked his girlfriend did not fight for her claim." She got a cookie before walking off to talk to her people. The Great Loud One clearly had a headache by the way he was quiet and his eyes were red and dilated. His overseer wasn't much better by how tired he looked. The general, he looked less than amused so perhaps they'd be trying to fight Anya for her claim on the Knight.

Sheppard looked at McKay, who was shaking his head as he sipped his coffee. The general was doing the same. "It's good to know that we're not the most unusual thing out there."

O'Neill nearly choked because he started to laugh. "No, clearly not the most unusual."

Buffy strolled in with Carter following to nag her about something. "Colonel, it doesn't matter. Really. I need to be fashionable and cute. People expect it of me." She stared at her. "Really, it's good. I can fight in heels and a skirt. I do it a lot."

"And many appreciate it," a demon quipped. Buffy scowled but the demon just grinned at her. "Many have wanted to come chat you up during a patrol but decided it was dangerous."

"I'm all for a *good* boyfriend. Have them come talk to me at the shop. Please. I'm bored."

"Does that mean the Knight can finally get that one feeding one?" the cashier asked. "We know you cannot handle him for cheating on you by going to feed a clan but the Knight could for you."

Buffy frowned. "He did *what*?" she demanded. The demons in there nodded. "Oh heck no! I get to kick his ass myself." She frowned, getting her usual coffee drink and paying before walking off pouting. "I'll let Xander hold him for me maybe. Or maybe Spike. He deserves a few hits too."

Carter looked at her general. "She goes on patrol in skirts, sir. Like clubbing short skirts. And fashionable clothes!"

"Yeah, we heard she's like that," Sheppard said dryly. "They have pictures of her online according to our intelligence agent." The demon behind the counter nodded, going into the back to spread that news.

"This is so weird," she complained, sitting down at the table. "It's like some crackhead fairytale." She ran a hand over her hair to resist the urge to yank at it some more. "Not even Daniel could find things this weird and not have a headache from it." O'Neill patted her on the back while she muttered about go-go boots and hankie shirts. Clearly this was going to ruin her brain. She needed to get back to her normal level of insanity soon. Before she had to be sent to that same institution Daniel had ended up in after he descended last time.

Though that brought up bad thoughts about Daniel. Had he seen all this and had to keep this secret from them? Was there some sort of ascended group that kept track of demons? "Are there information on what the Ancients found out about the enemies they had at that time?" she finally asked, looking at O'Neill. "Since apparently they knew about demons and all their doings. And why did they create hellmouths by accident?"

"That would be something to ask the intelligence guy that's on the city," John Sheppard said dryly. "Apparently they have huge libraries. See if we can get information from them? Or go ask Atlantis? Though she got a bit...hissy about demon things. Not the ones on the city but other demon things, yeah. I had one of them ask her about any information she was hiding about them. She literally hissed at him."

McKay grimaced. "I saw that. I have no idea why. She wouldn't tell us anything. She talked to that one being for a few hours but he didn't look that amused. Can we ask another source?"

"There's a few in town," O'Neill admitted. "They're highly amused by us too." He looked back at one of the others in the coffee shop. "Is there another library? One that's easily gotten to?"

They all shook their heads. "Only if you talk to the ones who can send you to other realms." He finished his tea. "Is the Chaos Knight all right? We heard he's unconscious. We know you stopped his others from fleeing for a vacation."

"We're keeping him that way before we have fits for him doing that," McKay complained. "The first we knew, he interrupted a battle and made the city spin lights around like it was a disco. Then he disappeared into a stone column before we could get answers."

"Well, he is beloved of chaos gods," another being said dryly. "I think he's their favorite comic book character."

O'Neill shook his head. "I think he's that way already. I can see why higher beings are so amused by him." He finished his coffee. "Let's go back to the shop to ask more questions. Did we find that other geek?"

Sam Carter shook her head. "My brain whited out after I met with Warren Meers and he was complaining about his robotic girlfriend, sir."

McKay spluttered his coffee. "Hey, quit wasting the good stuff," John Sheppard complained.

"He has a robotic girlfriend?" McKay demanded in a hiss, sounding like an angry cat.

"That he built," Sam Carter said with a smug look. "By himself." McKay glared at her. "Seriously. As in I can't tell when I'm near her unless she's talking about topping up things or her programming." They shared a look. "He's got mental flexibility but it might be too bent. He wants to be a super villain."

McKay squeezed his eyes shut. "I can see why your brain whited out. We'll go to talk to him later together so the messiness is halved for each of us." He got more coffee to go and followed the others to the Magic Box. He sneered as he looked around. "Fake crap," he muttered. Then he found himself floating up near the ceiling and squealing to get down. Thankfully Sheppard had caught his coffee before it spilled. "What is doing this?" he demanded. "Some sort of Ancient beam or weapon?"

"Magic," Willow said with a grin and a wave. "Magic is great sometimes. It's a nice tool to have in your box." She went back to reading, letting him down. "Those ancient things were weird and wrong on so many levels of physics and natural energies. That's why most of us think it's all science fiction even though we've seen the supposedly holy mystical city that got landed here to recharge herself." She grinned at them again. "As the Goddess wills, she'll be fine. We've already noticed her native shrines and the one to a few ancient earth goddesses."

"What native shrines?" Sheppard demanded.

"You haven't.... I'll show you tomorrow after my literature test." She went back to reading. "If you're looking for the mess of Xanders, the three with us are at work. Buffy's probably at the nail place to soak the goo from last night's patrol out of her nails. Or she's with her mom at the gallery. Giles is laying down in the back. Anya's fondling artifacts and telling them how they'll make money by selling to encourage them to be bought." She grinned at them. "My girlfriend's in class and I'm about to head for one in about twenty. So which of us did you need today?"

"Can we give you an excused absence, Rosenburg?" the general asked as he walked in.

"Not unless it's an apocalypse or something huge like that. The teacher's a quarter demon and told me he knows about the team and he'd only allow them for those sort of things since almost all apocalypses happen in the spring." She shrugged but grinned. "Huge thing I should call Buffy from her manicure to handle?"

He pointed out back. "Group of monks?"

She looked then huffed and closed her book so she could walk out there. "Guys, Buffy's in a hugely bad mood because last night's patrol left her covered in goo. We're all not happy with Xander either. So this is probably the wrong time."

"We seek..." one started.

The original Xander showed up in a beam of light, then grinned and waved up. "Thanks, dear!" He looked at the demons, clearing his throat since it was sore. "I'd. Run." They took off running. "Thanks!" He waved at their backs with a smile. He looked at Willow. "They only think you're scary when you're doing magic. Class? I can handle the store for a bit."

"Did you escape?" the general demanded.

"Nope. The city sent me back." He grinned his cheeziest grin. "But she's a happy girl since all the treaties she was forced to limp along under are now gone. She can be all that she wants to be. Just like a new graduate from high school about to go to college. Or something like that." He looked at Willow. "Shoo."

"They won't hurt me."

"I know that. Still. Shoo." She huffed but grabbed her backpack from the store and put her book into it as she walked off. "You've got fifteen minutes to make it to class, Willow," he reminded her. "You flunking something would mean your parents show up." She ran off. She might even have time for some smoochies before classes if she ran into her girlfriend. Xander looked at them. He shrugged.

"Not my doing, guys. The city decided she hated Landry too and shut down half your base on him." Jack O'Neill groaned but called in to see what was going on. Xander looked over as Daniel appeared. He frowned and yanked on him, making him a solid person again. "There, that's now annoying your people so they give me enough time to have sex tonight." He went into the store. "Anya, quit fondling the shiny stuff and please restock the herbs?" he called. "They hate it when I sneeze on them."

She came out of the basement. "Are you back? Can I have orgasms tonight? The other yous don't have enough stamina yet."

He smirked a tiny bit. "They're young, they'll grow it, and it'll have to wait until tomorrow. The city did something funky to my energy so I've got a headache." He grimaced. "I have *the* headache actually. Can you stock? I'll sit here and look menacing so the Monks of Gerrard don't come back." She groaned but went to do that. He got up to pull down three books and handed them to Daniel with a grin. "What you need to know that they outright lied to you about and withheld from you. And Giles will want those back." He went back inside.

Daniel looked at the books, frowning. "It's on being ascended. One on the ...city, and one on the treaties of the former demon kings." He went inside so he'd have a nice place to sit and read. Away from the herbs that stunk and made him sneeze though.

Jack looked at his geeks and colonel. "When did I lose control of this?"

"When the city got reminded she was considered a goddess?" Joyce Summers said as she walked past them. "Did Willow make it to class?"

"She ran off for it," Sam Carter told her. "Who're her parents that she's so scared of them?"

Joyce scowled. "Her parents are book writing psychologists." Sam Carter looked them up online. Then she growled. "Exactly. The last time we saw them the whole town was trying to burn my daughter, their daughter, and another witch at the stake. Admittedly my fault because I was possessed but they were all for it afterwards as well." She looked in there. "Only the one?"

"The other three are at their job," Carter told her. "How do you deal with this?"

Joyce smiled. "I had no idea until my daughter burned down a gym full of vampires and I suddenly had her in mental help and was getting a divorce and someone explained things to me." She grimaced a tiny bit but let it clear up almost immediately. "My daughter could be around a lot worse people." She walked off. "I need to nag my daughter about going to class."

"Willow thought she'd be at the nail place," O'Neill said. "Or possibly with you."

"Joyce, she's going after Riley because she found out earlier he's cheating on her," Xander yelled. "By going to be a feeder for a whole troupe."

"Oh, dear," she said, going into the store to find the tranquilizers and the rifle to shoot them. "Let me make sure she doesn't make Faith's mistake, Xander. Any idea?"

"Holly Rest," Anya called. "They gather there with some feeders." She leaned around a shelf. "He missed having adrenaline from hunting. He still thinks Buffy's not good enough and needs more backup than any of us because he's woosy but he wants the adrenaline of a hunt."

"I can get him hunted," Xander said dryly. "It wouldn't even need me calling in a favor or a poker debt."

"Bad Xander," Anya said, glaring at him. "That's vengeance and it's my job."

"Ahn, Buffy never would've called you. She can get dirty real easily."

"Point, which sucks. I could work up some *great* ideas about what to do with Riley for that and the other sins he has." Joyce hugged her then walked out to find her daughter, dart her, and bring her home for a girl talk after dinner. Anya looked at him. "How did you know?"

"The city said so. Showed me where she was stalking." They shared a look then he suddenly grinned. "She likes your ideas of vengeance sometimes." Anya smiled shyly and went back to her stocking. O'Neill and his geeks and colonel all came back inside. "The city is holding a light tether on me so she can find me if someone complains about the treaties she's now free of."

Daniel switched to that book to figure out how many there were, what they had done, and why. At least this book was translated from latin into olde english. "The introduction lists three sets, Xander. Which one?"

"Middle. The first were faulty and on her people. The second was all about her. The third was about trying to deal with uppity proto humans. It's one reason they went to Pegasus, because of that treaty set." He looked at the counter and got to work on what needed to be done up there. Anya did not dust, ever, and things didn't sell if they were dusty.

"The Ancient demon courts were stupidly paranoid and arrogant," Daniel said a few minutes later.

"When you're big enough to eat a whole village in one slurp then belch out the remains, you get to be arrogant," Anya said patiently. "I was when I was a vengeance demon. With power comes arrogance." She looked at her boyfriend. "Now I'm mortal again, things have changed somewhat." Xander grinned at her. "He'd throw me out if I went back to what I had been." She looked at Daniel again. "When you hold all the powers of a demon court, you too can be an arrogant prick."

He nodded. "I can see that," he agreed. "The Ascended are the same way."

She grimaced. "Thumb sitting and then sucking little greedy holes of stupid," she complained quietly. "They always say they don't interfere then do a whole lot of it." She opened a new container to put out some moss. "This isn't the right moss! Again! I warned them I was going to retaliate the last time they tried that switch." She bundled it up and went to call a drinking buddy to talk to them about the refund and replacement for her. She was so limited as a human. But at least that one would share the fun with her in memories.

Daniel looked at the others, smiling slightly. "She's the one that hurt women used to call on." Carter just nodded slowly.

"She made one guy an eternal horse's bit," Xander quipped. "It's still in use ceremonially by the English equestrian team every year."

"She said he kept biting her so it was only right he got bitten back," Anya called. "And that wasn't nearly the worst, Xander."

"I don't want to scare them, Anya, just make them appreciate you." She came out sniffling and gave him a hug then went back to her summoning. Customer support demons were always hard to get hold of. Xander grinned at the others, who all winced.

"She did an important job," Sam Carter said. She sat across from Daniel. "How bad were the treaties?"

"Bad," he admitted, still reading. "Handicapped the Ancients in regards to how they dealt with proto humans." He glanced up then went back to reading. "She's now a free pseudo goddess of technology." Carter just nodded again. "Though they did limit how and what they studied after a few Ancients accidentally created hellmouths. That's in the second clause. Which explains a lot about the labs they found on the city. Oh, and the demon courts taught them about ascension. They were breaking the treaty by trying for it."

"Forbidden knowledge," Xander quipped with a grin for them. He went back to dusting. Giles came out of the office to stare at him. "I'm being a good boy," he quipped. "The city sent me back." He grinned. "Joyce went to stop her daughter from killing Riley for going feeder." Giles moaned, shaking his head.

"She took the werewolf kit," Anya told him with a smile. "Then she said they'd be having a girl talk tonight when Buffy woke up."

"With her faster healing that might be an early dinner," Xander said. "She can probably throw off a sedative within an hour or so." He went back to dusting. "I'll go back to work tomorrow if I can. If not, maybe I'll go back to stripping." Anya looked interested at that idea. "They aren't allowed to touch me, and the club won't let girlfriends in while we're at work."

"Pity. I could appreciate that as the start to a good night's sleep." She went back to stocking while on hold with the customer support demon.

Giles went to make tea and then took it back to his office so he could avoid all strange things. It was sad that all this situation was weirder than Sunnydale was usually.

"Oh, Giles, I scared off the Monks of Gerrard," Xander called after him. "Again."

"Thank you, Xander. I'll hunt them down later to see what they wanted."

"To stare at Willow. Again."

"Blast," he muttered. "Is she...."

"Class, before she flunks and her parents show up," Xander quipped with a grin.

"That's a great idea," Giles agreed, going to his office to sit back down and perhaps have another rest. His head did so hurt right now.

Xander and Anya shared a grin because that meant Xander would be going to scare the monks off for good later instead of Giles. And she could help with some vengeance spells. Going back to her old ways did give her happy moments.

***

Xander decided to be a bit mean and they all needed a field trip. So he took stuff for Angel to LA for Giles. Who just groaned when he realized all four were in the car together. When they got there, original Xander walked in first. "Hey, Princess." Cordelia stared at him. "Giles sent your broody man boob stuff." He held up the manilla envelope. The other three came in arguing about what sort of burger joint to hit for dinner. Xander looked back, shaking his head. "Pretentious. In and Out is really nice, guys." They just shrugged that it was nice enough. He grinned at Wesley when he came out. "Stuff for Angel from our watchery sort?"

"Thank you, Xander." He took the envelope and blinked a few times. "Oh, dear. I thought they were temporary or illusionary or something." He wandered off mumbling.

Cordelia looked at the other three. "Why did someone make you clones?" she asked.

"They wanted a hidden warrior body," Xander said with a smirk. "So either he was watching patrol to stalk Buffy and saw us or the PTB told him. They told another demon so she could sacrifice me. Instead we got tipped really nicely when I stripped that night." She blinked a few times. He grinned. "I had to fill in. They were a guy short."

"I...." She trailed off, then nodded once. "I'm having a nightmare."

Xander leaned over to nip her ear, making her yelp and back away from him. "Are you sure?" He beamed at her then at Gunn, who came out to see what was going on. "We had to bring stuff from Giles to your broody man boob."

"For Wes?" Gunn guessed.

"No, the broody one, not the uptight one," Xander Two quipped with an evil smirk. "Wes has already wandered off swearing at idiot aliens who made us clones."

"Nature made me the way I am but science made me friends," Xander One quipped with a grin of his own.

Cordelia moaned, slumping in her seat. "Damn it, now I'm going to be warped."

"Not really. It's not like we're going to rush you into a closet," Xander Four said. Then he beamed at her. "Unless you ask and that would mean Anya got her powers back so we're probably not going to do that."

She nodded. "Never wanted to again," she admitted. "And the thought of the four of you and me is a really weird one that I'd hate to have to see ever again. So thanks for coming." She smiled.

"We were going see if Angel had heard anything about our new city or anything," Four said.

"He's..." She looked at Gunn, who went to wake him up. "Go sit and wait, guys." They went to the living room to do that. They even arranged themselves so Angel could catch sight of two of them at once. Cordelia went up to her room to moan into her pillow and scream at the universe for making four Xander Harris' to torment her.

Angel came up. "What's up, Harris?" He paused. There was one Xander. To his right was another Xander. He walked carefully into the room, finding another two Xanders. He had a room full of Xanders and that wasn't right. "What did you do?"

"Bad aliens," Xander Two quipped. "He wanted a special body for his symbiot so made me twins." He grinned.

"Then we broke all his stuff and stole his ship," Xander One said.

"And came home," Four added. "To find the Air Force knew about aliens."

"And that the tacky alien had broken multiple treaties," Three finished. "Have you heard anything about our invasion of confused science people, our mystically recharging city, or anything like that? We want to control some rumors getting out."

Angel blinked a few times. "This is thanks to Willow, right?" he asked, smiling some. "A neat prank."

"No, she had to get us off the ship. The guy's name was Ba'al. Claimed he was an Egyptian god. He was *so* tacky. I nearly turned into Cordelia snarking at the tacky clothes and jewelry, and hair. I mean, seriously, what sort of God can't dress themselves?"

"Or bathe. He stunk a tiny bit," Three agreed with a nod. "Especially after we destroyed all his little snakey friends that wanted to take over our bodies."

Wesley came back. "Snakes, are you sure?"

"Yup, and he had a ring thingy with all sorts of hieroglyphs. Giles told someone back at home when he freaked out about that."

"Oh, dear *lord*," Wes complained loudly. "How stupid were they?"

"Well, Ba'al was clearly really dumb," the original Xander said while shrugging. "I mean he kidnaped us and made me clones." He grinned at his other selves then at him. "But it does mean I get things done while Anya's hogging another of us."

"I'm sure that amuses her greatly," Wesley said. "What city?"

"A really pretty one we called about."

"We ended up going to rescue her. She didn't have enough power so she sucked off my hellmouth taint," Original Xander said.

"The really confused colonel read the accounts of how they accidentally started hellmouths experimenting with stuff they had no idea about and against some treaties they signed. Thanks to Ba'al, they're ended," Three said.

"That's charming news," Wesley decided. "We can check the rumors going on. If the ones in your town know others probably do too."

"We had to open their eyes a bit," Original Xander said. "They had no idea about anything about demons. Thought some were aliens. Though the confused colonel did finish cleaning up the Initiative's mess. She went down to download their files and called for the base to be filled with concrete."

"That's a grand idea. Any other good news?"

Original Xander smirked at him. "Riley was being a feeder," he told Angel. "Joyce had to tranq dart Buffy before she broke him into itty bitty pieces for it." Angel shuddered but nodded once. "She's presently grounded to the house before she finds him and rips him a new one. She tried to patrol but ran into him and had to stomp off. Oh, and the Monks of Gerrard are back staring at Willow again," he told Wes. "We've run them off twice now."

"They'd probably suck all the magic out of her," he said, considering it. "Which may be a bad thing."

"The city recharging has really calmed down the hellmouth," Four said, bouncing a bit with a bright, happy grin. "We've had two magic using packs of problems we were watching leave because there wasn't enough power there. We think they're going to the one in Cleveland."

"I'll warn someone over that way," Wesley decided, going to make that call. Though he came back a second later. "What is the Air Force doing with alien technology?"

"Well, the guy in charge has saved all our butts from the guys like Ba'al coming back again," Original Xander said. "And the other ones they found by turning on a machine and going to find the mythical city that loved us for a few days. They have energy feeding people eaters out there according to her download while I was out."

Wesley slumped, nodding. "I've read the diary of someone who said something about them but was considered quite mad."

"The general and his people all go traveling through the ring, Wes."

Wesley winced. "That may be bad. I'll talk to a few contacts, boys." He went back to his office. Angel could survive four Xanders. He was a master vampire who had fathered both Druscilla and Spike. Four Xanders weren't much worse than Druscilla and Spike together.

Angel ran a hand over his hair. "I'll call Buffy later, Xanders. Go get lunch and I'll let her know about any rumors I hear." They nodded, going to get a burger. Angel went back to his apartment to hide in a closet for a bit. No one would hear him moaning in there about the four horsemen of the Xander apocalypse.

***

The End...Maybe?

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