Imagine: The List
Fic posted by members of Vo's Imaginings YahooGroup
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Threat of Twins.

Tony looked up as his phone rang, frowning when he picked it up. "DiNozzo." He listened for a second. "How did you get my number?" He listened again then nodded slowly. "No, we can't meet. Because I know why you're scared and I don't want to be involved." He snickered. "Yeah, I found out, that's why I'm in DC and you're in Manhattan. Anything else? Then go to a DA! They can help you with that. I would take an independent lawyer with you since any of the family's attorneys aren't going to be very helpful and will tell the family on you. You're welcome for the advice. No, I'm not flying back unless they need me for a deposition. Because I've got one in my safety deposit box and I've told others that. Why do you think they're letting me get away with not being up there or dead, Michael? Exactly. Someone has access to it and it's just enough to start an investigation. I've even added to it over the years," he admitted with a small, cruel smirk. "Now, go find a good DA. One who's dealt with this sort of problem case before. They can walk you through everything. Just make sure your butt's fully covered and you've got your own lawyer. Because if you turn on them they're going to get very pissed. Remember, heirs are important and you bred, Mike. You too, have a better night." He hung up and went back to watching his movie. That had been an interesting case to bring up. Not one he wanted to be part of, but an interesting old case.


Tony looked over a month later as the stairs behind him sounded like someone was jogging down them. He knew another agency's agents had went up the stairs a few minutes earlier. When they stopped in front of his desk he gave them a semi-interested look. "One of our cases?"

"Michael," one said simply.

"I told him to have his own attorney and find a DA." Tony leaned back. "Did he get dead?"

"No. Yet. He's in protective custody."

Tony shrugged. "They've known for years that I've got a safety deposit box of information that threatening me or coming near me releases to the general public and six different DA's and a few of you guys at the FBI. That's why they kicked me out and left me living."

The agents both nodded. "We'd like that information now, Agent DiNozzo."

Tony leaned forward. "Do we think we can topple them quickly? Because if not, my life's in danger once you have it."

The speaking agent leaned down. "Michael was nearly killed before he called you. His new son turned out to be a daughter."

"I know that. I have snitches up there too."

"The first daughter ended up being a fairy hugging, tree loving hippie." Tony snickered. "They're going to come after you anyway. This is your only method of protection."

Tony considered it. "I'll give you the baseline. You should be able to get some of the other stuff but some of the things I have weren't acquired legally," he admitted quietly. "Some of it was clearly stolen actually."

The agents nodded. "We can see just the original base facts so we can ramp our own investigation. We've got him and his family in hiding." Tony shrugged at that. "You don't care?"

"We don't speak. For the same reason that I got unpolitely asked to leave the family. He laughed. Oh fucking well."

The agent nodded at that. "Then may we have the baseline information?"

"There's three boxes. You'll want this one," he said, writing down a bank name and address plus a box number. "That's mine. I'd suggest a warrant. It'll keep us all safer for longer." He handed it over. "If they come here, I'm shooting first."

"Agreed, sir. Thank you."

"Oh, you might want to watch out. Mike doesn't know what subtle or 'hide' means. He never did." He handed over the gossip rag he had gotten on the way to work that morning. "As he proves about every weekend."

The other agent moaned. "Thank you for that warning, sir."

"Also, tell her I'm not taking her in. She hates me. I'm the truly evil one in the family according to Madeline."

"Agreed," the agents said, heading off together. "The other boxes?" he asked once they were on the elevator.

"I know DiNozzo." He looked at him. "All we'll need to arrest him is in this box. The other is accessory information that'll help with other charges but we might be able to find it ourselves. It might also be more personal blackmail. You go stop his idiot brother."

"Agreed." They split up once they were back at their office, heading to make calls to get things rolling.


Tony got up and ambushed his boss when he came in. "We need a conference."

"On the case?" he asked.

"No, I had FBI agents here asking me questions about something else. Something personal."

"Past girlfriend?" he smirked.


Gibbs nodded. "Conference room."

They headed to the elevator and got on, Tony flipping the switch to strand them between floors. "Michael got fed up and went to a DA at my advice." Gibbs nodded slowly. "You do...."

"I remember your background check," he said, sipping his coffee. "And?"

"He's in protective custody. The FBI wanted some of the information I've got kept back for safety blackmail. I gave them *one* of the boxes."

"I need to know where the others are," he told him. Tony handed over a sealed envelope. "What I need to know?"

"If I disappear, that's where the boxes are, that's the agents who were handling it, that's where Michael was seen out being a playboy in a gossip rag."

"That's fine. Is this becoming pertinent?"

"Maybe. Better warned than not, boss."

"Agreed. I'd rather have you under watch here than have you in their protective custody."

"There's no way I'm going into Witness Protection, boss," he complained. "I'd end up being a dentist or something." He flipped back on the elevator and hit the button for their floor. "That's all you should need if I should disappear."

"I'll guard it." They walked off and he put it into his desk drawer, watching Tony get back to work. The director had kept him at the office that morning and know he knew why. "Anything on the actual case, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, boss, three things. Money, money, and more money." He handed over something. "Large deposits into her bank account."

He looked at it then at him. "Lottery?"

"Did a google search, that would've been noted in the local papers. Nope. No insurance settlements, no reason for her to be getting monthly ten grand payments." He looked at him. "I've asked the bank and they're waiting on us to get a warrant to see where the money transfers came from. They did slip and tell us it was an EFT. I was hoping Probie could trace those without us having to go bother a judge, but I've got the application in just in case. He won't be ruling on it until late this afternoon. There's a homicide trial going on."

"Thank you. McGee!" He came over from where he was getting things off the fax machine. "That a warrant?"

"No, Gibbs. It's something the FBI sent for Tony." He handed it over. "Did you find something?"

"Monthly electronic fund transfers of ten grand on the nose. Judge can't look at the application for the warrant until this afternoon."

"Hmm." He took the information from Gibbs and settled in to see if he could trace it. That much money had to be reported for each deposit. Including where it had come from. He found those forms and moved on, tracing them back. "Dead end in Sioux City, Iowa."

Tony frowned. "Like Letterman's 'top ten' office?" Tony asked.

"Yup." He kept going. "The name on that account is one Roger Smith. Age 32, occupation unknown by the records out of Iowa that I can find and the IRS." He typed for a few more minutes. "It's an online account's physical bank." He looked over. "They don't make you have the same sort of documents to open online bank accounts. It could be a cover. The social security number on the account is false. He still filed with the IRS."

"So he doesn't want the Capone treatment?" Tony asked. "Hacker?"

"No. Nothing that suggests that." He got back to it. "Hmm. Boss, got a ...." he trailed off then smirked. "Not a hacker." He put it up on the monitor. "We have a defense contractor's hidden pay out account."

"She wasn't involved in anything that a contractor would want," Tony complained.

Gibbs stared at it. "She did what, DiNozzo?"

"She was an MP, boss."

"Bribes?" McGee offered. Gibbs stared at him. "Or maybe she had a hobby?" he suggested, wilting some. "Maybe a hidden electronics thing at home?"

Tony looked her up then shook his head. "Her personal's ad doesn't mention that. Model trains but not electronics." He looked over. "There's only been one hit and that was a porn spammer." McGee shuddered. "Been running into those a lot recently, Probie?" he teased.

"No, if I want to pick up women online I know very well they are women and are not spammers or there for simple sex. Thank you. I go to higher class personal sites than she did."

Gibbs shook his head. "Anything else we can find out?" Tony shook his head. "Hit her apartment. Find out why she's getting paid. Check on that warrant so we can get the official records." They nodded and headed out while he went over what they had and went to check with Ducky in an hour to see if he had any ideas yet.


Tony came back with a box of files. "Boss, raided her filing cabinet. She was a keeper of receipts. It'll take us most of a day to go through them."

"Plus I downloaded her computer's files so we could check for online shopping, banking records, and those things," McGee told him, sitting down to go through them.

Tony sat down to go through the receipts. "We find out anything new, boss?"

"She was stabbed, not shot. The weapon was round but he said probably not a screwdriver." He looked over. "The director was looking for you?"

"I'm sure she found out why I was kept here this morning," he said dryly, looking at him. "Or was it bad looking for me?"

"Don't know." He went back to what he was doing while Tony went up to check. He looked at McGee. "I want you to keep a trace on DiNozzo's family through the online stuff," he said quietly. "One of his family is in trouble."

"Okay." He got in to start a google search for preliminary information. "Who's Michael?" He looked at the picture then frowned. "Boss, when was Tony in Miami under an assumed name?"

"It's my twin," Tony called from upstairs. He disappeared back into the office. He came out a few minutes later, seeing the amused looks. "Sorry. Michael is my twin. He's a playboy and a suckup. He's also in protective custody and he still managed to go out and party. "Pissed the FBI agents off to no end when I told them." He sat back down. "She wanted to know what the case was really about. I told her it was Michael turning in evidence and that I had some as a security measure. She said it was good I was willing to share and reminded me to tell you if I needed put in protective custody as well, boss."

"If you need it, I'm your first call. I'll make the others," he agreed.

McGee looked at him. "Your father did what?"

"No comment. That's why I was disowned."

"Oh." He went back to searching. "Should I worry?"

"Nope. If Michael gets his foolish ass killed, then I'll go for the funeral. If they come near me there's a major issue and it'll be solved the old fashioned way." He looked at him. "That's why I have enough information held back to blackmail them, McGee. It's for my own safety." That got a nod and he went back to the case. "Anything new on the banking stuff? I'm finding ATM receipts for daily five hundred dollar withdrawals. Not all list the same bank account's last four digits."

"I'm looking." He got back into those files and nodded. "I'm seeing three other accounts. All under the name Roger Smith. It looks like she's transferring the money to herself," he said a few minutes later. "So maybe she's Roger Smith and the money in this one was a lump sum payment from the defense contractor?"

"Or she knew that putting on that she was a defense contractor wouldn't get her accounts audited nearly as often," Tony pointed out. That got a nod from McGee. The elevator door opened. "Fornell, boss."

Fornell stomped over. "DiNozzo." He looked at him. "What sort of game are you playing?"

He frowned. "My life isn't a game, Fornell. The information I have in my boxes is for my protection. So they don't come near me." The same picture got put down. He smirked. "That's Michael. There's no way I was partying in Miami Saturday night and then was back here Sunday morning on this case when we got called in."

He scowled. "I don't believe you're a twin."

"Not only am I a twin, my brother talks like a flaming queen, he's a playboy, he's got a daughter who's old enough to graduate at the end of this school year because he had an accident when he was seventeen, and he's an asshole." Fornell gaped. Tony grinned. "And people wonder why we're not close," he taunted. "Now, anything else?" He handed back the photo. "The blonde is my niece Madeline."

"Does she have a mother?"

"Who is one of my father's biggest supporters."

"Oh. Pity. You have information?"

"I cooperated with the agent over the case."

"Fine." He glared at him. "You're going into protective custody."

"No, if I need to, I'm letting the boss handle it," he assured him. "I won't need it."

"That wasn't a question."

"Tough." He got back to work. "Hey, McGee, I've got multiple withdrawals at a food mart too. One of those health food places." He got up and handed one over. "Isn't that a debit card withdrawal too?"

"It is and it's not adding up to what she's having put in," he said, looking at the amount of that one. "No store's going to have that much on hand. Especially not a small boutique heath food store." He looked it up online. "There's no listing in the phone book or the online phone book anyway." He got into a search for health food stores with that address and came up with nothing. He shook his head. "Nothing there, Tony."

Gibbs looked at them. "How can a store be registered enough to do money withdrawals and not be there?"

"That's not hard, Gibbs. All you have to do is apply for a system to take cards," McGee told him. "It's a fee with each transaction but if you're only doing a few a day, it'll cover itself." He frowned, getting into other things. "Where is that extra money coming from?"

"Did you bring her computer here?" Gibbs asked.

"It's with Abby," McGee said. He glanced at Fornell. "Let me go back to the source. Maybe I missed some hidden files." He got up and went to do that, coming back from the fax machine. "The warrant for the bank's records." He headed off again.

Tony faxed it to the bank then called. "Hi, I need to speak to the manager please? Special Agent DiNozzo." He nodded. "I did just fax that warrant over for him. Please. He can send it to the same fax number, just put her name at the top. Also, alert him that we've found other accounts she had access to and the warrant should cover that. I'll send over a longer list once we get it all together. Thank you. Mostly tracking things like her ATM and debit card withdrawals," he agreed. "Thank you." He hung up and started on the list, getting into McGee's computer so he could get what he had. He sent an IM down to the lab to get any others he found. When they got sent up he checked the information on them, making it a fairly comprehensive list. He faxed that as well and came back to find Fonrell still glaring at him. "What?"

"You're going into protective custody."

Tony stared at him. "If they come here I get to ruin them," he said simply. "Coming after me is instant stupidity, especially with me being a Fed, Fornell. He's not that dumb. That's why he's so high in the hierarchy. Get over it. I'm safe and protected. If not, Gibbs is my first call and he can arrange to put me into protective custody at that time. Until then, I've got a job to do so go home." He sat down again, looking at Gibbs. "The list had seven accounts, boss. All under hers or Roger Smith's name." That got a grimace but a nod. "Want me to send the warrant to the bank in Iowa as well?"

"Probably should. Maybe we can search those records to see where the money originally came from." Tony nodded and got up to fax the warrant and the list, plus a cover letter to them, then walked off to make a personal call to the manager to tell him it was coming. He looked at Fornell. "He told me when your boys came up to bother him. It's going to be handled if there's a problem."

"Do you know *why* he got disowned?"

"I did his background myself, Fornell."

He huffed. "Is he the same sort of playboy his brother is?" he sneered.

"He's more subtle. He doesn't make it into the gossip magazines too often."

"Fine. I will know if he has to go in?"

"If you want." That got a nod and Fornell stomped off. Gibbs shook his head, going back to the current case. It was getting a bit twisted and seamy. McGee came back, presenting him with papers. "These are?"

"The information pages she saved down for each of the accounts." He looked around then at him. "Did Tony send the warrant to the bank in Iowa?" That got a nod and the papers being handed back. "There's another one to send to with this information." He went to get the warrant's copy and send it there once he had found their fax number online and called out there. "This is Special Agent McGee, NCIS. Naval Criminal Investigative Services," he explained. "A federal agency, yes, ma'am. I just sent a warrant to the listed fax number and an information sheet on a newly dead MP that's my case. Please. Electronic or fax, either is fine. I did include it on the cover sheet. Yes, that fax number. Please. I'll hold." He got put on hold while she went to gather it and hand it to the proper person then transfer his call over. "This is Special Agent McGee, NCIS." He smiled. "Yes, that's ours. She was stabbed this morning. No, honestly, her ID comes back to this account and our stabbing victim has been making major withdrawals out of this account now for a few years. Exactly. That's what we're worried about, the money trail. Well, it does probably relate back to her homicide," he agreed. "Please. Faxed to the number on the cover sheet or electronically. T- underline-McGee-at-NCIS-dot-gov. Thank you, sir. We do appreciate the timely help. You have a good day as well. I'll be here for the rest of the week. As soon as possible please. Thank you. That's fine." He hung up once the other guy did. "He'll send it electronically once they get into her account, boss."

"That's fine. As long as we have what we need to trace it back."

"He said he's sending the deposit and withdrawal information for the last six months and her information sheet." Tony came back. "Anything good?"

"Six things, all being a round-about to another online bank." He handed him the information. "I've never heard of them."

"That's because I think this is a scam or a money laundering one," McGee said.

"No, I know most of those, McGee."

Tim looked at him. "This one's fairly new." He got into the search engine to find it and nodded. "Here we are." He got into another webpage. "And it's on the FBI's watch list for money laundering and scam artists." He let him see, frowning at the listing. "New to you?"

"No, but this is an older list. Three of those were shut down while I was in Philly." He straightened up. "Anything good on Roger Smith through there?"

He looked at it then frowned, looking at Gibbs. "Permission to hack?"

"Denied. Do it legally."

"Boss, it's possible that she's running this scam to launder money," McGee told him.

"So? Get into her computer."

"It doesn't have the space to do this. She's using something else for that."

Tony went back to his box of receipts. "Hmm. Maybe a public terminal for uploads?" he offered, handing off the receipt. "Internet cafe. There's five or six in there." He handed them over as well. "Could we match those to uploads at that site?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "If it's on the watch list, someone's got to have it tapped." He called the number for the scam office. "Hi, this is Special Agent McGee, NCIS. We've just run into one of your scam list banks. Yup. That's my computer," he said, looking a bit smug. "Actually, we keep running into a Roger Smith and multiple accounts. That's our dead body this morning," he agreed. "Please. That could help us find out who killed her and we'd be willing to share what we have so you can shut down the money laundering operation as well. Thank you. I'm at my desk. Thank you." He hung up. "Boss, the bank this links back to is under active investigation."

"I figured that much out by the conversation, McGee. What do they have?"

"They have a list of known users of the bank. They also have a list of who's been putting money in."

"Good. They're sharing?"

"As long as we share what we have since they think she was one of the people who was taking out the money and then sending it back once it was clean."

"Fine. Tell me when we have a suspect." He looked at Tony. "Your family?"

"Now and then they've had to use such sources," he admitted quietly. "If they're listed, I'll work on her receipts and stay out of that end, Gibbs."

"Thank you for not making me nag."

"We hate it when you do," Tony quipped. He heard the fax machine start to spit things out and went to gather and collate. He loved banks having good computers. It made their job so much faster sometimes. He came back with what they had, him comparing dates and times to the receipts. He also started a timeline for what they had. "McGee, any way to find out what email she was using when she was at the public places?"

"Yeah, probably. I'm starting a search now for those addresses through the emails that've been recorded." Tony shared his preliminary timeline, getting a nod. "That'll help."

"Welcome." He got back to work, looking over as more agents came off. "Hi, guys. Here about the banking case?" They nodded. "I've got our victim's bank records that we've found. Waiting on a few." He let them see what he had so far, earning evil smirks at some of them. "We've got this for a timeline so far. Some public internet uses around the right time. Also where she's been withdrawing money. She's a good record keeper."

"She also pays taxes on it," McGee reminded him. "Which is better to stay out of the IRS's way anyway."

One of the agents smirked at him. "Thank you, Agent DiNozzo."

"I'm McGee, he's DiNozzo," Tim corrected, grinning at them. "The boss is Gibbs. Ziva's out today."

"That's fine. What do you have?"

"I'm still stitching things together," he admitted, letting them see. He called Abby. "It's me. Get into her emails please. Copied down from another system if possible. Thanks, Abby." He hung up. "I think she kept the emails of what she had done too."

"That would fit with her saving every single receipt she's ever gotten," Tony said dryly. He held one up. "Bought a thirty-five-cent pack of gum." McGee smiled at that so he went on. He checked the back for notes, frowning at something. He tipped it off to the side to look at it better, then picked up everything and carried it down to the lab. "Abby?" he called when he didn't see her. She popped up from behind her computer desk, cable in her mouth, another in one hand. "I have a treat for you." She put the cables where they needed to go and came around to look. "I think we have invisible or white ink."

She stared at it, adjusting the angle of light on it. "I haven't seen this since I was a kid." She frowned, looking around. "No lemon juice."

"Those are all her receipts," he said, patting the box. "What about a light filter?"

"Oooh! That might work." She hurried to get the equipment she needed, finding which light filter worked best. Tony came to look over her shoulder, taking the spare pair of pink glasses. "She hates him?" she read.

"She apparently did." He kissed her on the cheek. "They're all in order, that one went in at the pink post- it note. Let's see if there's a pattern? The FBI wants it too. She was apparently running an internet banking scam."

"She was industrious," she said.

"She was money laundering," Gibbs said as he walked in. He looked at the back of the receipt. "Invisible ink?"

"Yeah, I haven't seen this since I was a kid, Gibbs."

"You know, they sell those pen sets on late night tv that only write on the special paper," Tony offered. "One of them has an invisible ink set I think."

She smiled. "I'll have to look that up." She grabbed the rest of the box to see if any others had any. Pictures of the small notes were uploaded into the computer so they could see if there was a pattern.

Gibbs looked over as McGee walked in. "Anything new?"

"Yeah. Tony's off the case." He looked at him. "Your father."

"Charming. And?"

"In the receipts there's going to be at least two. The FBI said they want you off the case."

"I can go do cold stuff," he said, looking at Gibbs, who nodded. "I'll be at my desk. We found invisible ink."

"Great. Was she playing kiddie spy games too?" he complained, coming over to help. "She's been doing money laundering for over six years. Putting it into an internet bank account, transferring it back to hers, taking it out by debit card, then sending the cash back." Abby stared at him. "She does five hundred dollars a day and gets two percent."

"Wow. So she's made some money. Probably some enemies too?"

McGee smirked at her. "No. Not a one. They all appreciate her. She's a 'by referral only' one according to the FBI. That's why they never catch her. She's got four constant clients and three that come and go, plus one floating one that she's done twice."

"So she's careful, that's probably going to make it easier to find who killed her," Gibbs said.

McGee shook his head. "The referral system means she gets to screen people first, Gibbs. They're mostly out of state, she's appreciated and doesn't talk. It might not be related to this. She's so careful all the FBI knew was Roger Smith."

Gibbs nodded. "What about her personal life?"

"Two boyfriends noted by her friends during the earlier interview. Both long gone. She was getting ready to transfer bases for some reason. I haven't been able to get into that request yet. The system's down. They said it should be up in another day and they'll send it to me personally once they can access it. I left a message with the base commander to see if he had a copy and had talked to her. He referred me to his secretary, who I've got a message on her answering machine. So we'll see soon if it was related to the transfer."

"Maybe she wanted out?" Abby asked. "These are all 'I hate this' or 'I hate her' so far." She took another picture of the front and then the back of the receipt.

"She was paying the IRS on what she made," McGee told her. "Besides, Ducky said stabbings are personal. Usually someone you know if it's just a stabbing."

"Hmm." She shrugged. "We'll figure it out. We always do." He nodded and left behind Gibbs. She smiled and got back to work. This was a fun drill. She'd get back to harder things later on.


Tony opened his door later that night, looking at the FBI agents from earlier. "What?"

"Your father?" he asked quietly.

"I was disowned."



"Oh." He frowned. "Do others know...." Tony nodded. "You've cooperated?"

"Yeah, when my twin did something wrong and got caught finally. He turned evidence to a DA."

"Oh. I guess that's good. Your boss?"

"Was briefed when it became pertinent. He did my background personally when he hired me."

"Even better. This doesn't make you feel odd?"

Tony shrugged. "I was disowned because I didn't want anything to do with it. I wasn't going to breed for the family. I wasn't going to be the heir he wanted and I wasn't going to join any form of the family business. Now, it's late."

"Sorry, Agent DiNozzo. Who's handling it?"


"I'll get with him about what we've found, see if it can help him." He walked off. "Sorry to have gotten you up."

"Night." He shut the door and went back to his couch and his tv, frowning when the phone rang. "What?" he answered, sounding a bit surly. He listened to the complaining voice. "Michael, if your life is in danger, partying is the last thing that'll save you," he said bluntly. "Of course they took you out of the clubs. That makes you a target. You made the papers. That's why they moved you out of Miami." He rolled his eyes. "You're whining. Yes, I'm complaining that you're whining. Because if you don't they won't guard you any more. It wastes their time if you don't follow their orders. Otherwise they can't protect you and you can get them killed, Mike. Of course they don't want you to go clubbing, go to the store, or anything. It defeats the purpose of being in protective custody. Yay. No, I'm not. I don't need it. Because I'm still a Fed," he said blandly. "Thank you and go to bed, Michael. You can club at home. Does your daughter know you're such a slut?" He hung up on his continued whining and went back to watching the news. Someone else knocked on the door and he went to look out the spyhole, opening it with the chain on. "You are?"

"I'm here to talk to you about your brother, Agent DiNozzo."

"Unless you have a badge and a warrant, the proper place for this is in front of my boss. I'll be at work tomorrow." He started to shut the door but the guy kicked it. Tony managed to close it and called Gibbs. "Got a problem, boss," he reported, grabbing a few things and heading out his back exit. Down to his car, which had flat tires. "Not good." He listened to the calm voice. "Yup. Flat tires. Someone trying to break in." He hung up and pulled his gun instead, pointing it at the person coming casually down the stairs. "Go away."

"We need to talk about your brother."

"I haven't seen him in person in ten years."

"You told him to go to the officials," he noted dryly, smirking at him. "That doesn't scare me." Three cruisers pulled in and he gaped. "What the...."

"I'm a Fed, idiot." Tony looked at one. "I'm Special...."

"We know," the cop agreed. "He is?"

"Not a clue," Tony offered. "He's here because my brother turned in an arms and drug dealer."

"Okay. Into the car please, Special Agent DiNozzo." Tony nodded, getting into the spare front seat of one of the cruisers. One only had a driver instead of a set of partners. He looked at the other man. "Produce ID please, sir?"

"I don't have to."

"Yes, you do. Or you will be arrested." He started to move and the cop pounced, dragging him down and cuffing him before he got more than a few feet. "That was stupid," he assured him, dragging him back to frisk him on the cruiser's hood. Tony got out and leaned on the door. "No ID, sir."

"Arrest him for now. Let Gibbs or someone in the FBI handle it," he ordered calmly. "Also charge him with damaging my car?"

The officer looked at the mustang, then at the idiot in cuffs. "He's going to eat you for that. Gibbs taught him well." He shoved him into the back seat, bagged what he had taken out of his pockets, and they headed back to the station. Tony would be picked up from there by his boss. They could talk to the guy who had damaged Tony's car. It would all work out in the end.


Gibbs walked in with an FBI agent behind him. "DiNozzo?"

"Himself or the guy who was trying to get him?" the desk sergeant asked.

"Him first," the agent said.

"He's joking with a few of the guys in the squad room after filling out the paperwork for them. Made decent coffee too. Mind if we snatch him?"

"Yes," Gibbs said, heading that way. He walked in and Tony handed him his cup. "I don't know where your mouth has been, DiNozzo."

"That's your cup, boss, mine's already empty." He looked at the cops. "So, time for fun and games?"

"What happened?" the agent asked.

"He knocked on the door, said he needed to talk to me about my brother. I told him to see me tomorrow with Gibbs. He tried to kick the door open when I closed it. I called Gibbs on the way out, was on the phone with him when I found out my tires had been slashed, and Gibbs called backup for me. I had my gun out when the cops got there and they arrested him."

"He say anything?"

"I shouldn't have been so rude," Tony said dryly, giving him a look. "How someone wouldn't be happy."

"Who?" one of the cops asked.

Tony looked at him. "I was disowned by my father at thirteen for not wanting to join him in dealing arms and limited amounts of higher cash drugs to rich folks." They gaped. He shrugged. "I wasn't going to be his heir. I wasn't going to participate, so I was disowned. My brother turned him in recently."

"Ooooh," one hissed, nodding some. "So he came to talk to you about your brother."

Tony nodded. "Yup. Though it's not real hard to find him. He keeps slipping out of protection to go clubbing." He stood up. "Let's go talk to him?"

Gibbs looked at him. "You can't be in there."

"I can watch. I can't counter it if I don't know what's going on."

"Point." He walked that way with the agent following and Tony getting a refill of coffee, pouring more to his cup too. "Thank you." He walked into the room, letting the other agent shut it behind himself. "So, you wanted DiNozzo for what reason?" The man only sneered.

"We can already charge you with trying to assault a federal agent," the FBI agent warned.

"I'll get more time for slashing his tires."

Gibbs stared at him then smirked back. "I doubt it." He called someone. "Abby, me. I know it's late. Someone threatened DiNozzo. Sure. You bring those." He hung up. "She's our lab tech. See, with you under arrest, we can take DNA and fingerprints to match you to every single thing you've done."

He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Like to see you prove it was me. I'm not the average stupid person."

Tony strolled in, looking down at him. "While my father hires the best, he didn't plan on a few things." He leaned down to get into his face. "You do know that you being here breaks the agreement we had to leave me the fuck alone?" he hissed. The man only sneered at him. "And that I have access to the *best* snipers the US has ever trained? Including knowing the ones who went pro after they were discharged?" He shifted a bit. "And those who work for certain families, like mine. I can even sort them into a pretty database by what weapon they used to use." The man swallowed at that. "You're gaining nothing by pissing me off," he assured him quietly. "I'm the only chance you've got right now of making it out of this room and going to a place where my father's people can't get you."

"If I talk, he will," he pointed out, staring at him.

Tony shrugged. "What would I care? They'll think you talked whether or not you did. After all, it's a disowned son's right and privilege to brag that he caught the assassination attempt."

"I was only to bring you to him."

"I don't want to see him. That's why I was disowned for my baby brother. So go find him."

"I doubt he'd like that. If I find him, I've got to take him out. You I'm only to bring home so you can become the boy your father wanted."

Tony smirked at him. "You can tell my father I'm still gay, I'm still not having kids, and with me being a Fed, I'd have to arrest him for his money making schemes. Now, anything else?" The guy sighed and shifted. "Good. You wait here. Abby will have a lot of fun extracting DNA from you." He looked at Gibbs, quirking an eyebrow up. "Can I play?"

"No." He had no idea what sort of playing he wanted to do but from the look in his eyes it wasn't going to be doing him any good, or his career. "Remember, I hired you even knowing this, DiNozzo. If you do something bad I'll have to fire you."

"You said you wanted McGee in my place a few times," he quipped, heading off. He went outside, going to call someone. Gibbs took his phone from him. "I needed that."

"I'll make sure you get home."

"By the time we're done here, it's going to be time to go in, boss. If you won't let me play by calling some of his enemies, then I have nothing else to contribute tonight."

"I want you where you're safe."

Tony snorted. "Yeah, because he's not going to be in jail soon." He took his phone back and walked off, waving a hand. "I'm cabbing home. I'll be in on time tomorrow, boss." He caught the cab that was up the street and headed back to his apartment.

Gibbs was not happy but he smirked when Abby stomped up the steps. "Did you know DiNozzo was a twin?"

"Yup. His brother Michael's an asshole." She walked inside, going to the interrogation room since one of the officers was nice enough to point it out for her without having to do more than glance at her. She walked in and stared at the man, watching his horrified look. "What did you expect? You got me out of my coffin and a sound sleep." She slammed the door and came over. "Gibbs, can I make this painful?"

"If you can do it without violating his rights," he said as he walked in with more coffee. "Not like the prosecutor will care." He looked at the FBI agent. He was giving Abby an amused look. "You should see her when she hasn't had any sleep."

"She sleeps in a coffin?"

Abby beamed at him and nodded. "Best bed I've ever had." She looked at him then pulled on a pair of latex gloves. "Are you allergic to latex?" He slowly shook his head. "Pity." She looked in her case then at the agent. "Did you want blood, hair, or skin?"

"All three if you want, ma'am," he offered, having fun watching her work. He didn't realize she could pull all three and would be, making him howl as she ripped a few hairs out of his head. Then a few skin cells off his mouth with a very rough q-tip.

Gibbs snickered at his odd look. "You said she should." Abby finished up and snapped her gloves as she took them off. "You done?"

"Unless I get to do his cavity search since he woke me up out of a dream of being the newest captive wench on the pirate ship," she offered dryly, staring at him.

He shook his head. "I don't want to know."

"But the movie is yummy men in half-buttoned shirts," she complained.

He held up a hand. "Share those thoughts with DiNozzo, Abs, not me. I don't like half-naked men."

"Like fully naked men?" she teased.

He reached over to swat her. "Go back to bed, Abby. Run those first thing." She nodded and headed out, going home. He looked at the agent. "Now you think what she could have done with time to think first." The guy at the table swallowed then went running for the trash can. Gibbs snorted. "They don't make mob boys like they used to. I'm almost sorry for Tony's father for hiring someone like him." He looked at the agent. "Let me know what you get."

"Um, sure, Gibbs." He looked a bit confused as he watched Gibbs walk out. He looked at the guy. "Usually he would've stayed and booked you too. Instead I guess that's my pleasure." He hauled him up from his spot in front of the trash can, rehitching his cuffs behind his back. Then he walked him out, taking the forms the cops had done. "Thank you. Have a better night."

"Should we do a closer watch of DiNozzo's house?" one asked quietly.

He smirked. "I think that's where his boss went. If not, DiNozzo's going to be just fine. He was this time." They nodded and let him walk the guy out. It was not going to be a good night for anyone really. Especially not this guy. There were a lot of people who wanted a talk with him.

The cops looked around and one went to patrol near DiNozzo's apartment. It was better to be safe than have to call in agents to clean up a homicide scene.


Gibbs watched his agent for the next few days. Not always, not every minute, but enough of his mannerisms had caught his attention to make him wonder. He finally stopped him when he got up to wander around and call his girlfriend of the moment. "DiNozzo," he said, walking closer. He saw the look in his eyes. "When did you take Tony?" he asked, certain now.

The man who should be Tony snickered. "I'm not that good at doing Tony?" Gibbs shook his head. "It's where we don't talk. Our father wanted to have a talk with him and sending him to the vacation home meant that my daughter is left alone."

Gibbs stared at him. "He made the same sort of deal with your father and he still had someone show up on his doorstep."

"Yeah, but Tony made it when he was twenty and Dad wanted him back the first time." He gave him a smug look. "He should be back soon."

"Uh-huh. MCGEE!" He came jogging over. "Cuffs?" He handed over his and watched as Gibbs cuffed his coworker. "It's not our DiNozzo. It's the other one."

"Since when? Never mind, he didn't mention a single movie the last three days. Had to be around then. Interrogation?"

"Director's office. She knew." He gave him an odd look but did as ordered. He followed, heading up there, shaking his head at the curious looks. He walked around McGee and opened the door to let them inside. "Good." He hung up on her present call and looked at her. "You knew that DiNozzo was gone."

"Jethro, that was important."

"And my agent being kidnaped wasn't?"

"He's finding more information for us."

Gibbs leaned down. "What happens when he doesn't come back?" he asked, staring her down until she backed up. "Good." He stood up again. "Put him in a chair, McGee." He did that and used a second pair of cuffs one of the guards had given him to lock him to the chair itself. "Let the gossip hounds know." He nodded, going to do that. He was even thoughtful enough to close the door behind him. He looked at the man. "You do realize that Tony's not as fat as you?" he asked.

"I'm not fat. I'm very fit."

"DiNozzo never gained back all his weight after he had the plague." The Director whimpered and then let out a moan. He looked at her. "Good thing we don't think it can be distilled." He looked at him. "Where are they?"

"He'll be back tomorrow."

"Not good enough."

He looked at Gibbs then snickered. "You don't scare me, Gibbs. I've seen people who remind me of Satan. You're annoying, you have a commanding presence, but I'm not going to break."

"I can have him detained as an enemy combatant," Sheppard offered.

Jethro shook his head. "Not necessary." He leaned down and said something in the boy's ear, making him shudder and shrink away. "Now, where is your twin brother?" he asked calmly. "Before I have to get very mean."

The man looked at him. "You can't do that. You're a federal agent."

"Bet me," he snorted, smirking just a bit. "Remember, Congress gave us all sorts of power after 9/11. We can do things that no one ever dreamed of now. Including questioning you in ways that would make certain Arab countries beg for human rights for you and then make you an enemy combatant." The man shuddered and tried to shift away from him. "Where is Tony?"

"At the vacation home."

"Which one?" the director demanded.

Michael looked at her then snorted. "Do you really think Tony will turn on the family? If he does, they'll come after him."

"I wouldn't worry about your brother. He has an amazing habit of getting out of trouble." She stood up and walked around to face him down. "Where is my agent?" He snorted and looked at Gibbs. "No, he's my agent too."

"Yeah, and I'm sure people listen to a figurehead like you," Michael said dryly, smirking at her. "We all know you got hired so that someone could say that a female headed an agency."

"Actually, she didn't have to sleep with the guy, she's former CIA," Gibbs told him. He went pale at that. "Exactly." He looked at her. "Think we can use some of those special powers?"

"I can call some former crewmembers and have them come help if you want," she promised, smiling at him while she played along. "After all, we do have some of the best interrogators in the world at Langley."

Gibbs looked at Michael again. "Now then, where is your brother?"

"The vacation house!" he said, kicking at him.

"Which is where?" Gibbs asked. "I haven't crawled up your family's ass yet. I only know where the main one is."

The boy swallowed. "If I tell you, he'll kill my daughter."

"If you don't, you'll never see her again anyway," the director assured him. "I'll make sure she gets into a good military academy for you." He gave her a horrified look. "You know DiNozzo better, Jethro. Army or Marines?"

"He's got brains. Air Force, or intelligence," he said absently, picking up the phone to call Tony's cellphone. He heard him answer and smiled. "Which vacation house are you at? No, I've suspected but only knew today. He made two too many phone calls to your girlfriend." He smirked. "Right to the director's office, DiNozzo." He hung up. "He'll be parking in about twenty." He looked at him. "With your daughter." He looked at the director again, smirking just a bit. "You're still in deep shit for assigning my agent," he said quietly. Tony trotted in ten minutes later with a young woman behind him. He looked her over then at her father. "Army, definitely. I've got some good contacts over there. We'll make sure she gets prime placement in a good academy."

"She's a financial sort, boss, won't help her any," Tony said dryly, looking at the director. "Have I mentioned how much I thoroughly hate you recently?" He looked at Gibbs again. "Sorry about that, boss. But now we know why my father's so pissed at Michael. Oh, by the way, Mike, your wife's having two affairs and she's pregnant by Father's second-in-command." He looked at his niece. "We can help you get to a good place far away from the family."

"They'd never hurt me," she assured him.

"No, they'd use you for a political marriage," Tony assured her.

"How would you know?" she sneered. Gibbs smacked her on the head. "Hey! Watch the hair, geezer!"

"Be more polite," Tony instructed calmly.

"Make me!"

He smiled and walked her out to the secretary's office. "Can we have three minutes please, Cynthia?" She nodded and hurried off, closing the door behind her. So Tony corrected his niece the best way he knew how then drug her crying body back into the main office, still smiling. "Here, boss. I think her attitude has been stopped for a bit." His brother gave him a horrified look. "Next child, learn how to correct them so they're not evil little wannabes and brats." He looked at his boss again. "So, how much of my paperwork did he screw up?"

"Haven't seen any out of him," he said dryly. "When did you get taken?"

"That night from the house while I slept."

"Ah." He nodded slightly. "Think a good reform school would help her?"

"No. I think she's a socialite wannabe." He looked at his brother then at his boss. "At the very least he's an accessory to kidnaping and pretending to be a federal agent. Are we charging him higher?"

"The director wanted to make him an enemy combatant," Gibbs offered.

"That's too mean for my brother, Gibbs. Don't torture my family." He looked at him then at his boss again. "You know, the FBI is still pissed that he escaped protective custody."

"True," he agreed. "They won't take him back either."

"I'll be safe now," Michael sneered.

"You will, because Father's dead," Tony assured him dryly, staring at him then at Gibbs again. "Thanks for that lesson in C-4 by the way. Want me to go do the backlog of paperwork?" Gibbs nodded. "Have at it, boss, just don't torture them." He headed down the stairs, smiling at a few people. "You didn't know I was a twin?" he asked with an evil grin.

She gave him a horrified look. "There's *two* of you!"

"Yes, and my brother's a bigger playboy than I am," he said dryly, sitting down at his desk. "It took you how long, McGee?"

"The boss and I both took three days," he said glumly. "I should've realized. You didn't mention a single movie reference."

"There is that," he agreed. He called someone. "It's the real DiNozzo, put on Fornell please? Hmm, it depends, does he want to support or stop torture in my family this week?" He was transferred over. "It's Tony, Fornell. Yup, they have Michael and his daughter upstairs. My father's not really an issue anymore, and they're deciding on charges since it took them three days to figure out he wasn't me. The director's office. She wants him in Gitmo." He smirked. "That's fine. I'm back. Thanks." He hung up and got into his computer, changing his password first, just in case. "Did you give him my password, McGee?"

"Um, I showed him how to change it since he said he forgot it," he admitted.

"Hmm. At least it wasn't an outright giving." He got into his paperwork backlog and frowned at the rude comments on the first sheet. "Hey, he dissed the system too." He faxed that to the director's office for Gibbs' amusement then went on to complete it. "Quit staring," he finally ordered.

"You're a lot like him."

"We're twins, McGee. Duh." He shot him a look. "We're identical twins. We share the same DNA. What did you expect?"

"Some personality differences?"

"I joke more and he has more sex."

"Oh." He got back to work. He wrote Abby an email to tell her.

Abby came up and stared at Tony. "I knew about Michael but you look like hell, Tony."

Tony grinned at him. "Gee, thanks. Really." She snorted and went to talk to Gibbs about Michael.

"She knew?"

"She saw him out and yelled at me. I had to tell her." He shrugged, getting back to his current paperwork. "Keep staring and I'm quitting," he warned. McGee got back to work.

Gibbs smacked him on the head. "You're not quitting, DiNozzo."

"It would solve some problems," he said, looking at him.

Gibbs stared at him then shook his head. "No it wouldn't." He sat down. "Your brother's in custody but we're deciding where he's going."

Tony nodded. "If he turns evidence he'll still be a lot safer." He went back to work. "By the way, I had nothing to do with the destruction of my father."

"What happened?"

"He capsized his boat."

"Oh. Sorry."

"I'm not. It was an ugly boat." He kept typing then finally finished and sent it over, getting up to get some coffee and come back. He saw the odd looks. "I'm still a twin, people. Michael had me taken for a talk with some relatives for a few days." He sat down again. "Those problems are usually what makes me want to leave."

"I'm sure." He watched him work, frowning at a few things. Did they switch back?

"I'm still me, Gibbs. Want me to start quoting movies so you make sure?" Tony asked dryly without looking up.


Tony shook his head, finishing up a few more things before sending them over. The director came down and gave him an expectant look. He stared back. "What?"

"You were to gather information, DiNozzo."

"I was in handcuffs for most of it, Director. What information did you want?" She glared at him. "I was." He showed the bruises. "See? Bruises from them because he used the metal ones. Not like they'd talk around me and I was locked in a guest room most of the time I was there. At least until my father flipped his racing boat and drowned." He found a few more things that needed worked on and got into them to do that. "I'm sorry if you expected me to come back with video surveillance of illicit meetings but the only illicit thing was my kidnaping this time."

"Fine," she said, stomping off.

"By the way, I know who gave them my home address," he called after her. She stiffened and he stared at her. "They made sure I knew when I asked." She glared and stomped off harder. He went back to work. "I'm not James Bond, I realized that when I was eighteen," he sighed. "I could never get that sort of woman."

"You'll be fine, DiNozzo," Gibbs told him. The FBI agents came down the stairs with his brother and paused at his desk. "You needed another statement?"

"We need to figure out which one is which."

Tony looked at him. "We have retina readers from the garage, guys." They sighed and walked his brother off. "Turn evidence, Michael. It can only finish helping you."

"Whatever." His daughter followed him out with another agent escorting her. "She didn't do anything wrong. Leave her alone!"

"We'll be giving her to her mother," the agent said patiently.

She looked at him, then hauled off and hit him. "Leave me the fuck alone, you moron!" She walked off, heading to Tony's desk. "Can I stay at your place?"

"As long as you don't touch the movies, move the furniture, do drugs, drink, or invite people over," he said, handing over his keys with a look. "You cause me trouble, I'm beating you again."

"Yes, Uncle Tony," she sighed, heading to his place. She slapped at the hand that tried to get her arm again. "Touch me again, watch me gut you," she warned.

"You have to go back to your mother."

"She was on the boat," she sneered. The agent backed away. "Therefore I'm going to a relative's house." She huffed off, glancing at her father. "You'll be fine. Do what Uncle Tony said, Dad." She caught a cab and headed off to her uncle's house.

Tony looked at Gibbs. "I might have to appear over there soon," he said quietly. Gibbs nodded. "Thank you."

"Welcome." He glanced at him. "You're clearing your backlog?"

"To make sure he didn't get into them." He finished up his last report and sent it over. "There, all done." He leaned back, watching the others give him looks as they walked past. He finally made a sign and put it on the front of his desk, making Gibbs snort. "It'll make them go away faster." He looked at some things online, finding what he wanted easily enough. Then he tapped his keys a few times before doing something. It transferred things to another point of control. It would give Michael a better chance at making a deal and getting free too. Then he finished up by sealing a few other records in his background then unsealing a few others in Michael's. "That should help," he muttered. Gibbs came over to look. "I got into Father's things and switched them to Michael so he could handle some things and get a better chance at making a deal," he admitted.

Gibbs nodded. "I'm sure it'll give them days worth of new questions." He looked at him. "How did you know how to do that?"

Tony grinned. "He never changes his passwords. He hasn't since his first computer. Claims he couldn't remember them." Gibbs walked off shaking his head. His phone rang so he answered it. "DiNozzo." He listened to the agent. "Because he never changed his password, Agent Simms. This way my brother can help himself and you." He hung up, looking at certain things. A few had changed. He smirked. "My niece is a smartass," he said. He blocked her moving something else and sent her an IM message, making her do what he wanted and hadn't been able to do. She got it done for him then signed off after saying she was going to surf his porn accounts. He shook his head but got back into his bank account online while not watching Gibbs come back to his desk. It had a healthy balance so his brother hadn't spent any of it. He decided to do some shopping and browsed a few sites until he found some movies he hadn't seen yet and a few other things. He ordered them. Gibbs' phone rang so he looked over. "Tell them I'm waiting on you to send them back for corrections, boss."

Gibbs answered his phone. "Gibbs." He listened. "He was doing that so the FBI had better access. Yes, he's done with his reports for the moment. He's waiting to get them back for corrections. Shopping's better than porn," he said dryly, hanging up. "She's watching your computer."

"Then I'm sure she's happy with my bank balance too," he said dryly, getting into his email to read through that. One came from the director so he answered her questions with a copy of that report, shaking his head. "She wanted to know why I couldn't give her information. I sent her a copy of that report, boss."

"Typos and all?"

"Yup." He found an online comic he had been reading and got into it. He stayed with that until he got the first report back, then he corrected his three mistakes before sending it back.

"Do you ever get his help on cases?" McGee asked finally.

"Back when I did a very short stint in Vice in Philly. I asked him who ran all the brothels around the city." He shrugged. "He'd know."

"You didn't call him when we had that brothel case?" Gibbs asked.

"He hates DC. Unless they own ones in other cities or countries, he wouldn't know." He shrugged a bit and went back to his email clearing out. "Hmm. Director sent a new one." He opened it and laughed then forwarded it to Gibbs with another link. "I just got that, boss. The link came from me. Feel free to forward it over to the FBI when you're done laughing."

Gibbs read it then snickered. "She should have told you if she was using you that way," he agreed. He forwarded it on and it came back a minute later as rejected. "McGee, come fix this." He came over and got it forwarded to his outside account then sent it from there for him. "Thank you."

"Welcome, boss." He went back to his seat, going back to his own reports. "Your brother helped break the last case," he said finally.

Tony smirked at him. "He's had me kidnaped once before and taken my spot, Probie. I'm sure he questioned very well." Gibbs nodded. "He does live in a life where you have to be able to tell if someone's lying to you." He got back another report and corrected it then sent it back, nodding at Ziva when she came back. "Morning."

She looked at the sign on his desk then gave him a horrified look. "That wasn't you?"

"That was my twin, Michael. I was in Florida in handcuffs. Speaking of, do you have any more of that bruise cream?" She got some for him, watching as he dosed his bruises. "Thanks." He handed it back and wiped off his fingers, getting back to his email. He finally smirked at her for staring. "Didn't realize it either?"

"No!" she said, glaring at him. "Prove it!"

"They just drug his brother out of here for kidnaping him," Gibbs said patiently. "I saw them in the same room, Ziva. Sit down." She sat down and got back to work. "He has a mouthy niece too."

"Very," Tony agreed dryly. He finished correcting his last report and sent it back to Gibbs. "There, done." He smirked at him. Then at her. "Florida was pretty nice. He's got a nice villa on the ocean. He flipped his racing boat and drowned with my sister-in-law." She gaped. He shrugged. "I spent most of it in a guest suite. At least until his guards needed me to pretend to be Michael so I could calm down the panic going on. Then I had to talk to my godfather and he was not amused."

Gibbs looked over. "That wasn't in your report."

"He knew which one I was within minutes. All I did was tell him my father had died of his own stupidity. He hung up." He shrugged. "They dialed it for me."

"Good to know. Who's your Godfather?" Gibbs asked, staring at him.

Tony smirked back. "He's a very nice former Federal Prosecutor who turned sides."

Gibbs shuddered. He knew that man. "Never mind."

"Should I amend my report with that information, boss? That way the director can have him talked to as well?"

"That's evil," he told him.


Gibbs held up a hand to interrupt him. "That's evil. No." He went back to work, suddenly shuddering. "I do not like your Godfather."

"Me either and if we come anywhere near his stuff I have a sudden bout of the flu so I'm not involved, can't be around, and won't be accused of getting involved."

Gibbs nodded. "Next time tell me instead."

"Fine." He got back to his email, smiling and printing one, walking it over to his boss's desk. "Proves what we thought."

Gibbs looked at the message demanding the name of Tony's godfather. "McGee, do another sweep for bugs with Ziva." He nodded, getting up to do that. He looked at Tony. "You're to tell me if fallout starts from this," he said quietly. Tony nodded, going back to his seat. "Now what?"

"Now?" He smirked. "Michael's in control of the family, boss." He shrugged. "Not that he ever really wanted it. Neither of us did. I simply stated it first and got thrown out, so he got stuck with it. He could disband it and walk away. He could hand it to one of our father's managers and walk away. Not a clue what he's going to do if he doesn't end up in jail."

Gibbs considered it. Then he got up and nodded. "We're going for coffee. I want more information on your twin."

Tony sighed but followed him up and outside, sliding into his sunglasses. "What did you want to know, boss? And can I fire on the people following us?"

Gibbs glared and they ran off. "No. Waste of bullets." He looked at him. "You know more than you're letting on."

Tony nodded. "Yup. I'm not getting in the middle of it. I want no part of it. I might know enough to bring down a lot of people, but I'm staying the hell out of it. I'm not going to be used. Someone else found out who I really am and tried to use. I didn't like it then." He looked at him. "It's not why I joined the force in the first place, Gibbs. I'm here to help people. I'm not here to turn in the people I used to celebrate holidays with. If you want them, you leave me out of it. I've always made that clear when someone came after them. I've been threatened and all sorts of other charming things done to me and my career and I'm still staying out of it. If you want to hunt my family, you do it without mine and Michael's help. We agreed long ago we're staying out of that business."

Gibbs considered that. "You two have one of those connections?"

Tony shrugged a bit. "Not really. We had a lot of nights talking to each other when Mother went off the deep end."

"Okay. So why not turn them over?"

"Gibbs, if your family was doing something wrong, could you turn over the people who used to burp you, comfort your scraped knees, and take care of you?"

"No," he admitted.

"Which is why Mike and I are staying out of it. The director's trick was deeply dirty and there's a lot of the people higher than my father who know she's the one who told my father where I am. My father bragged." They shared a look. "So, hey, if you want the top seat...." He walked into their usual coffee shop and got his usual, getting Gibbs' coffee for him too. They came back out and looked at the more subtly following agents. "I don't care if you do tell her." He walked off, letting Gibbs follow. "Anyway," he said finally, taking a sip.

Gibbs drank some of his own then opened the lid and took out the plastic covered note, letting Tony put back on his lid while he looked at it. "Your brother escaped."

"Not surprising." He let him have his coffee back, taking the note to look at. He nodded. "That's Mike's handwriting too. Apparently I'm predictable again." He tucked it into his pocket and looked at Gibbs. "I'm staying out of that hunt too."

"Are you going to press the kidnaping charges?"

Tony shook his head. "No. If the agency does then they do. I'm not." He took another sip, looking inside his cup. "None in mine. He's trying to keep me out." He put his lid back on and took another drink, glancing at his boss. "I'll be fine, Gibbs."

"You're going to end up quitting if they don't leave you alone."

Tony nodded. "Wouldn't be the first time. That's why I left Philly. Someone put two and two together and came up with me staying out of it." He smirked a bit. "They tried to put me in jail for not telling everything I knew the minute I entered the academy. The judge threw it out." He took another sip. "And I sued the hell out of them for it. They settled it out of court after the judge realized I was serious and why. He said it was unreasonable for me to turn over my family and my stance of staying out of it was reasonable since I wasn't helping either side. They were not pleased but they settled for less than the six mil I sued them for."

"That would've been a good chunk of their budget."

"Yup, and they deserved it. I'm not the only child of bad guys in their department. A few hate their families so much they turn on them. Most of us stay out of it. Most of us also go somewhere our families aren't local so we have less chance of being involved or outed because they look at you like you're a dirty cop once they know." He glanced back at the agents following them. "Having a good walk?"

"Your brother's out."

"We know that. He put a note in Gibbs' coffee." They turned and ran back to the shop. He looked at Gibbs again. "See?"

"I do. What're you doing if you leave here?"

Tony shrugged. "Don't know yet. I could go work for a private security firm. It's easier work with standard hours and pays better. I've been offered a few consulting positions in the past." He took another drink then smiled. "I could go be a playboy with Mike if I wanted to. I know he's not going to keep Father's businesses. He'll sell it all off and walk away."

"You both know some of the higher ups. That could get him killed," Gibbs warned.

Tony smirked. "If they kill Mike, the first thing I do is hunt them down and end their lives legitimately, boss. They all know this. One thought about it before and I had to make a personal visit. Scared the crap out of him when he realized we're twins and I'm the evil one." Gibbs snickered at that. "I'm also the creative one." He beamed and walked on, heading generally back toward the office. "So, now what?"

"Now, we see if we can weather this storm." They walked into the building and security surrounded them. "Uh-huh."

"I'm still Tony, guys, not Michael."

"The director said you're not allowed back at your desk today, Agent DiNozzo."

Tony looked at Gibbs. "It's been nice working for you, Gibbs. Come visit. I'll let you know where I end up." He walked around them, heading upstairs to pack his desk, shoving the director out of his way. "I don't keep that information here, Director. But you've just pissed me off beyond all means." He downloaded his emails and packed his desk, then grabbed things and headed off to pack his locker, handing Gibbs his badge and ID card. "Laters. Come over for dinner tonight." He headed off, going to go home. On the way he called someone. "Paul, Tony. Yes it's actually me. Because the director gave my father my home address when she found out what he did." He smirked. "That's fine. Please. No, she just decided to go through my desk and have my boss and I held. I quit. Thank you." He hung up and headed to get dinner then home. He walked in and found a note from his niece. 'Dad has me. Laters. Peace,' was good enough for him. He settled in with a movie and his dinner, getting comfortable. He frowned at something, getting up and removing the board from under his couch's cushions. "It's not too soft," he muttered, putting it back into the closet. Which was why he was near the door when someone knocked. He looked out the peep hole and snorted, opening it but standing in the way. "What did you want, Fornell?"

"Your brother was here."

"He was picking up his daughter." He gave him a look. "If NCIS isn't pressing charges, I'm not. Mike will be selling off the family's business in a few days." Fornell gaped. He shrugged. "It's *family*, Fornell. Neither of us are going to help or hinder you on family things." He shut the door and went back to his movie, getting comfortable again. The FBI could throw fits, he didn't care.


Gibbs met with Fornell that night, nodding when he walked down the stairs to his basement and boat. "Tony?"

"At home. We've got an agent watching him in case his brother shows up."

"Tony said he's not pressing charges."

"I got that earlier when I talked to him." He sat in the old ratty chair down there, staring at his old friend. "Now what?"

"They're both going to be playboys probably," he said dryly. He looked at him. "I can understand why he's stepping out of the way of anyone going after his family."

"So can I, but we need their help."

"Then track whoever's buying the family business," Tony said as he came down the stairs. "By the way, your agent is on his way to the ER for a shattered jaw after he broke in." He handed him his badge, gun, and ID card. He looked at Gibbs. "Like Eastern Mexico, boss?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Never been, DiNozzo. That where you three are heading?"

"No, the niece is heading to a boarding school in Switzerland with her girlfriend and lover." He smirked. "Her father just sighed and complained about tainted bloodlines." He looked at Fornell. "We're heading out tonight. By the way, all charges were dropped against Michael a few hours back. Therefore sitting an agent on my house to watch me is called harassment, Fornell." He looked at his boss again. "Did they arrest Sheppard yet, boss?"

"Twice. Why?"

"Because she aided in my kidnaping. Then she got it for treason since she was sharing secrets with Ziva." Gibbs dropped his tool, looking at him. "I hate it when people go after me because of the family. She's not family. So, like Eastern Mexico? Because right now you're the acting director of NCIS."

"We'll see."

"Sure." He grinned, handing over something. "That's to my phone. Call when you're ready to come down or if you need me, boss." He nodded at Fornell then headed off.

Gibbs tucked it into his pocket. "I should beat you for taking DiNozzo off my team, Fornell. He's one of the best agents I've had."

Fornell grimaced. "I can agree with his idea to stay out of it, but we still need him."

Gibbs looked at him. "Track the money, Fornell. There's going to be a lot of it moving around soon." Fornell grumbled but went to do that. He checked on Tony's apartment but it was empty and clear of everything but a note for Abby. He was nice enough to drop that in her mail slot for DiNozzo. He had respected the guy. He had been a good agent.


Ten days later Gibbs walked into a small villa on the eastern shore of Mexico. Down toward the bottom of the Gulf, out of the path of most hurricanes. Nicely tucked into the shoreline so it had a private beach. He walked through the gate and up to the door, looking at the man who opened it. "Michael."

"Gibbs," he said with a grin. "Tony's still in bed. He's being lazy." He let him inside. "Tony! Company!"

"If it's that girl, I'm tired!" he shouted back.

"I doubt you'd call your former boss a girl!" he shouted back, heading off. "I'll start some coffee, Gibbs. Go right and head to the noisy room." He smirked some.

Gibbs headed that way, finding Tony sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "Girlfriend?" he asked dryly.

"Stress relief and very flexible I might add," he said dryly, looking at him. "What's up?"

"I'm here to negotiate out of the agency paying you off."

"Nope." He shook his head. "Sorry."

"That's what I figured. Will you take something lowball? There's people throwing fits over what they're finding in Sheppard's files. The CIA shut us down for a day to go through them."

Tony smirked. "Needed the day off, boss?"

"Not particularly." He walked in, taking the cup of coffee Michael gave him. "Thank you." He stared at him. He had been doing a lot of thinking and checking into Tony's past assignments. "You were there when he started."

Michael smirked at him. "I did most of Baltimore, Gibbs. We switched off because neither of us wanted to be here. It'd get too bad and I'd take over for a month while Tony got down to destroying the machine our father had built. He was always better at finding loose knots and unraveling them until they yielded someone in pain and misery for what they'd done." He smiled at his twin brother. "Think she'd come out for me?"

"Ask," Tony said with a small shrug. Michael strolled outside to call her. He looked at him. "Sorry, boss. The case you met me during was me, all but the first day." He took a drink of his coffee and groaned. "You put cinnamon in it again, asshole!"

"Shut up, it's good for you."

Tony rolled his eyes. "You're strange to be a health food nut." He looked at Gibbs again, seeing the shocked look. "We've been working against my father for over twenty years, Gibbs. Ever since we found out and figured out what he was doing was wrong. Michael handles the people so much better, manages to use that skill to screw up the business. I manage to screw up things like schedules, loose ends, those things, that get notice and then work on unraveling them until they fray. Dad lost ten shipments to Customs before he realized it was me."

"Is that when you got disowned?"

"No, that was back in Philly. I was very proud of myself and Michael wanted to be a cop too, so he did that for a while." He stared at him. "He's just as good as I am."

"I'm sure he is. Wouldn't that jeopardize cases?"

"Only if they knew." He smirked. "Most of them took deals, Gibbs. I always pressure for my cases to take deals. It keeps some slimy defense attorney out of my past. I've had one call me for being a slut and trying to discredit me from that." He shrugged a bit. "It happens, that's why I always want them to take deals. It assures that they're going to do some time, even if it's not the whole amount."

"Which is reasonable," he agreed. He sat on the foot of the bed. "Now what? Are you enjoying being a playboy?"

"Now, I start as chief detective down here in another three weeks," he admitted. Gibbs gaped. "They needed one. They've been having a serial rapist and no one's making connections." That got a slow nod. "I pointed that out to them and the Chief gave me a look like I'd broken silence. So I pointed out my credentials. They decided I could do it and it'd look better than them arresting one of their own." He finished his coffee and put it aside. "As for after that? Well, I'm young, pretty, and apparently a bit wealthy. Especially down here where money goes farther."

"So you're going to stay?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know yet. I might go back to the US in another few years. It depends on if I get tired of here. Here is very pretty, pretty laid back, and doesn't have that many cases a year that'll get me in the hospital. All the guerilla action is on the other side of the country so I shouldn't have to worry too much about that." That got a nod as well. "But we'll see." He looked at him. "What? You've got that questioning look."

"How did you know it was Sheppard this last time?"

"Easy, Mike called," he said with a small smirk. "Any time he needs me he calls around two in the morning to wake me up and see if I can help him. He wouldn't have to kidnap me. That only draws attention. Really, the only people who know that we're twins is the family and people like my godfather. Who probably did figure out that we switched places a few times. He can tell us apart by voice."

"Interesting." He stared at him. "What'll you take to let NCIS off the hook, DiNozzo?"

"Whatever the lawyer set." He grinned. "Gotta retire in style, Gibbs."

"It's unreasonable. Ten million...."

"For someone who committed treason and sold me?" Tony countered, leaning forward. "How about three?"

"Still too high. They sent me to talk you down to a reasonable number."

Michael coughed and walked in with the pot to refill cups and handed Gibbs something. "Technically they sent you down as a present, Jethro." He walked out again, closing the door behind him.

"The dogs must be up. One of them thinks my bed's the puppy pad." He glanced at the email Gibbs was holding then looked at him. "Hmm. You're a nice addition to the prize. Want to join me, boss?"

"That's not the agency, that's one person's delusions."

"True," he agreed with a small smirk. "Still pisses you off."

"I'll deal with them when I get home." He looked at him. "Five hundred thousand?"

Tony shook his head. "They're still trying to play games, Gibbs."

"They offered to send you to Cuba instead."

Tony considered that then looked at him. "The problem is that the guy over that, the one who sent you, knows me *very* well. My father tried to have me marry him when he decided I was gay at ten."

"You were a child."

"Start the formal proceedings then, do the formal ceremony when I was old enough." He shrugged again. "Now you're the present I was then." Gibbs pulled out his phone but Tony dialed a number on the home phone and handed over the handset. "Here, use our dime. Tell them because of this I won't accept less than the full amount, no matter how many boys he throws at my feet."

Gibbs glared at him. "It's Gibbs," he said when the line was answered. He was put through. "Sir, I just got an interesting note here from Michael DiNozzo. No, something about being part of the price as well."

"Hi, Johnny," Tony called.

Gibbs smirked at him. "He's swearing."

"He should be. He still hasn't had my tight ass for his own use." He leaned back, watching him work.

Gibbs interrupted the swearing. "Assistant Director Johnson, I don't need to know what you wanted from my, at that time, underage future agent. Nor do I appreciate being part of the price to settle this suit." He listened to him. "I was retired? By?" He snickered. "I don't remember signing those papers...." Tony raised an eyebrow. "You can't do that without my ....." He growled. "No, you can send down another negotiator." He hung up. "You're right."

"I knew he was. Hey, Mike, are we losing information yet?"

"Not yet, Tony. In a few more," he called from up the hallway. "Can the dogs come in? They're whining."

"Only if you housetrain that one!" He looked at Gibbs. "You're more than welcome to stay, Gibbs. You and McGee both. Ziva can visit if she has to. There's a nice shed out back for the boat."

"They retired me!" he said.

Tony nodded. "Uh-huh. At least they didn't fire you or charge you as a ruse so they didn't have to pay your retirement. They will if you fight back."

"I need your lawyer's number."

"He's up the hall with the dogs," he said with an evil smirk. "Graduated Yale."

Gibbs shook his head. "You two are horrible."

"Only when you come after us." He batted his lashes at him then grinned. "Though you do make a nice hush price."

"Not funny, DiNozzo." He got up to get more coffee, watching the three dogs stare at him. "Hopefully they'll grow?"

"Medium sized dogs, Jethro." He looked over and smiled. "What did they do?"

"Retired me."

"Ah. Well, it's better than Philly did. They put Tony in jail to keep from paying him." He went back to what he was doing. "McGee's a nice guy but can I have Abby instead?"

"Abby's like my daughter."

"I'll never hurt her. I'm not like that."

"No, you're a playboy." He got more coffee and found Tony with two of the three dogs in bed with him. "Where's the third?"

"On my porch peeing. Before I beat it." He grinned at Michael when he came in. "Outdoor training, Mike."

"I'm trying." He gathered the dogs and left them alone, closing the door again.

Tony smirked. "I'm a nag too, boss. Fair warning."

"I've noticed that now and then." He sat down again. "Now what?"

"Now, well...." He smirked evilly and turned on his tv to CNN, letting them see the just breaking news that a reporter had been sent a tape of a senior CIA official in the middle of a weapons deal. He grinned at him. "I'm pissed on both our behalfs."

"I didn't think you were the scary one, Tony. I thought that was Kate."

"It was, boss. And she knew. She figured out that we were twins when she ran into Michael taking me for lunch one time."

He shook his head. "She never mentioned it."

"He told her why. She swore for over an hour about there being two immature playboy DiNozzo's to piss off the world's women." They continued to watch the other information leak to the press and how the person was presently involved in an attempted coverup of using one agent to get his family, without his knowing. "Oops." He shrugged. "I guess the new director will be happy to have it solved quickly then." His bedside phone rang and he answered it. "DiNozzo." He listened then grinned. "Hi, Chad." He beamed. "Sure. The full price and Gibbs is joining me so I'll split it with him however he wants. Because you guys tried to sell him to me. Exactly," he said cheerfully. "I can tell him that. Mike, they'd like the CIA to still be intact when we're done with them," he yelled.

"Too bad!" he called back.

"He's at the other extension, Chad. Yup, that's him and the dogs." He smiled. "Sure, I'll take that and an equal amount for the bossman since you guys retired him without his consent or wanting to be retired. Yup, we are serious. No, I liked Cuba the last time I visited. Is Sheppard there yet?" He snickered. "You know, with just a few calls, we can out a few more people, including a White House staffer." He laughed, grinning. "Exactly! So yeah, that'll work for us. Thanks, Chad. Love you too. Miss the poker game by the way. Say hi to the guys. Tell them I'm a senior detective down here on the Gulf. Well, as long as they go home again they can come visit. Sure. Kiss the illegitimate daughter too." He hung up. "Mike, that was Chad. He's calling to make final arrangements with you," he called. He looked at Gibbs. "They said either we each take this deal or we'll end up up the hall from Sheppard, boss. It's not bad as retirement packages go and we'll both get to keep our retirement checks." Gibbs moaned. "Let me get dressed and show you around." He got up and grabbed some sweat pants to slide into, then shoes, walking him around the house.

"My house?" he asked finally.

"Has press camped out in front of it, boss."


"Chad would probably offer to pack you up and move you if you wanted."

"No thanks. I like my house."

Tony patted him on the back. "Just think, your ex- wives can't reach you down here."

Gibbs looked at him. "You're too tempting now."

Tony paused at something then nodded him to follow him. He pointed at the view. "How's that for too tempting?" he asked quietly.

Gibbs looked then inhaled the fresh air. It was beautiful here. There was a small shack on the beach. "Swim hut?"

"No, guest house but it's unfinished," he admitted. He grinned at him. "Plus we've got a real guest house out back too." He walked him back into the gardens and over that way, letting him see it. "I'll probably end up moving out here if you don't want it, boss. That way peeing dogs don't get my bed again." He turned and caught the dog following them, picking it up to scratch it. "See," he said with a grin. "He's very good at stealth stuff."

"I can tell." He patted the dog on the head, going back to looking around. "This is nice. How are you getting new movies?"

"Amazon delivers and we have a satellite dish," he said with a grin. He walked him off, showing him the other end of the property. "And we have no neighbors so we can buy more land if we want to. Up to another three miles worth of dense growth." He looked at him, letting the dog down. "Do not cross the hedge," he warned sharply. The dog whimpered but followed them back to the main house, finding McGee there. "They sent you down with Chad?"

"Yup. Retired me, Abby, and Ducky, boss." Tony whistled. "With the same package you got, Tony. Why?"

"Because we knew what was going on. I can personally out another ten or twelve officials. Mike more than that." McGee groaned. "And then Sheppard sold me." McGee sighed. "Exactly. At least they're giving you guys a severance package. Philly tried to have me arrested so I couldn't out them." He smiled at his twin brother and the dogs following him. "Well?"

"One even, each, and we give all the blackmail material we have on the DC connections to Chad."

"Boss?" Tony asked, looking at him. "I'll let you argue with him." He walked off, nodding McGee to follow him. "I'm going to the kitchen. What do we want for lunch?" he asked McGee.

"I don't care. It's really hot down here."

"It is and I'm the only detective we have locally," Tony said happily. "There'll be another opening soon when I have to arrest the second-in-charge for raping twelve women."

"So you're staying?"

"At least for a few years," Tony agreed, smiling at him. "This whole house cost as much as Mike's last car, McGee. We're out of the main hurricane path so we'd get the rain and winds on the edges but nothing else. It's paradise." He nudged him. "Plus there's a very nice company that does consulting work for the government locally. I'm in with them already. I'll introduce you if you want to stay."

"You mean like hacking the local dealers?"

"That too," he agreed happily. He started on a fruit and veggie salad for lunch. "Make some tea please?"

"Sure. Warm?"

"Cold. Starts the same way, McGee." He nodded, doing that. Gibbs came in. "Are we going to be joining Sheppard in Cuba?"

"No." He grimaced. "I can't believe they did that to Ducky."

"Of course they did, boss. You brought him in. You brought in Abby. You have under your command the means to bring down a few good people in power between the three of us, four if one of us asks McGee to get involved." He gave him a serious look. "It could be a lot worse."

"Fine. One mil each of us, our retirement funds that we have, I'm discharged honorably, and we don't work for the government again."

"Even their little helper people down here?"

"No, that was an exemption and Chad asked that you please work with them." Tony nodded. "All of us if we all came down here."

"Abby'll be down later," McGee told him.

"The guest house has two bedrooms," Tony told him. "There's an extra one here but let her know Michael thinks she's hot." McGee texted that to her. "Plus the local college has a forensics program and it's about an hour away. In the same town I'm now a detective in." He handed Gibbs a bowl, then McGee a bowl. "Food!" he bellowed, walking them out onto the back patio overlooking the gardens. "McGee, watch out. She begs and will jump in your lap if you don't give in."

"Thanks for the warning." The dog jumped into his lap to lick his face. "Get down." he said, smiling at her. "You're very cute, dog. Get down." He put her down, eating a piece of fruit then letting her sniff his fingers. "You like oranges?"

"She likes everything," Tony said dryly, tossing some down for her. She ate that instead. "Wipes are in the kitchen." He went to clean off, letting them defend his bowl for him while he was in the kitchen. He came back with cooling tea and got a smile. "Thanks." He sipped then nodded. "Good job." He looked at Gibbs. "Up to you, boss."

"I don't think we have a choice in taking it," McGee admitted. "Chad was serious on the way down about us having to take the final offer, Gibbs."

Gibbs nodded. "I know." He considered it. "I still like DC, even with the snow."

Tony nudged him and pointed. "Mountains three hours that way, boss. Besides, we can go back to the US in another two years."

Mike came out with his bowl. "Plus, some of us are going to Switzerland to be closer to the daughter in a few months if you wanted to join me for snow," he offered. He sat down, looking at his dog. "Quit, now." She slunk off, giving him hurt looks. "Tough, dog." He dug in. "Nice job, Tony."

"Welcome, Mike." He grinned at McGee. "You did meet him before and didn't realize. He came up for lunch and you ran into him, not me."

"I wondered what sent Kate into that bad mood," he said dryly.

"Two playboys to tease her," Michael said with a grin. "She ranted for an hour that there were two of us."

Gibbs gave him a look. "We all got the fallout from that."

"I handed her chocolate, boss. It was kinder," McGee told him. Someone rang the bell. "Abby?"

"Nope, Chad," Tony said, getting up to answer it. "Hey, Chad." He let him inside and out to the porch. "So, how long before we can come back?"

"Give it a year, and stay out of the limelight, boys," he ordered, taking the empty seat. Michael waved his fork. "No, thank you. I had stuff on the plane." He looked at Gibbs. "We want them out of the way. We're cleaning up those links anyway." They all nodded. "It'll take us about a year to replace them quietly. We need you out of the way or you're in danger." Gibbs opened his mouth. "They'll use you to get to DiNozzo, Gibbs. Johnson wasn't the only guy who decided that you two are dating." Michael burst out giggling.

Tony shrugged. "I'm very loyal," he taunted with a dry look. Gibbs smacked him on the head. "So, arrest some, let some retire and turn sides? That way the government doesn't collapse?"

Chad nodded. "Basically. We can use what Sheppard did to you for at least another five links so it doesn't all look like it came from you two, Tony. Think you can live here in paradise for a year or so?" Tony nodded. "Good. McGee, our subsidiary company down here would love to meet you and Abby. Plus Gibbs. Or I'm told that the Chief of Police and all three of his sons ran for their lives from Tony arresting them for the rapes one son did."

"One full year?"

"We hope it won't take that long but that's our outside estimate," Chad agreed. "Plus you could actually sail your boat, Gibbs." Gibbs grimaced at that. He leaned closer. "There's three cartels that come through the local town, Gibbs. You could do invaluable work stopping them and the two assassins who live here in town." He sat up again, looking at him. "You've taken bullets for your country before. Can you take living in paradise for a year or so to give us the time to fix the system where it's broken?"

Gibbs sighed but nodded. "If I must."

"You must. It'll be safer for you," Chad assured him. "By the way, the locals think you're a plant from our subsidiary company." Tony nodded. "Did you tell them that?"

"No, I'm American."

"Good point. It's a natural jumping point." He smirked at Gibbs. "He can get you in with the Mayor if you want. He's been complaining because our people here are ancient and Cold War thinkers. They're not stopping the drug runners."

Gibbs nodded. "I'll consider it."

"Thank you." He patted him on the arm. "The funds and things will be transferred down tomorrow. All records of this are going to be sealed and expunged. Tony, next time you catch something like this, just tell me! Okay?"

Tony grinned. "I had to have it in backup for when something happened, Chad. You know Sheppard was going to do something. Morrow didn't and he told me he knew when I joined the agency. Sheppard wanted the links up the chain to someone higher. I wasn't about to sell myself for that."

"I know, man, but still. Let me know you have it, please?" Michael coughed and handed over a DVD. "Thanks. What's this?"

"A better way to bust some of them. They're using a brothel for cover." He grinned. "Very ingenious but they have agents for working girls and they're not very good at it."

"I thought we ended that with the Cold War," Chad muttered, getting up and walking off, heading back to the plane so he could tell his people what had happened.

Tony grinned at McGee. "Just think of all the writing you can get done down here, Probie."

"Maybe." He dug into his lunch. "Good lunch, Tony."

"Thanks. I try now and then." He grinned at Gibbs. "Could be worse."

"True, could be Cuba," he agreed, sipping his tea. "This has caffeine in it?"

"Yeah, boss. I always buy tea with caffeine." Tony finished up and went to finish getting dressed so he could show them around the nearest town.

Michael shook his head once he was alone. "Tony's a strange little man," he decided. He finished his lunch, went in search of seconds, then headed up to the beach to find bikinis to watch and hit on. Things would work out as they would. Gibbs would probably browbeat Tony back into better behavior again. He might even make him go watch women instead of him. McGee would learn to loosen up so his next position went smoother. He could hit on the glorious Abigail all he wanted and Tony might finally get Gibbs into his bed instead of making do with a lot of toys like the flexible thing he'd had the night before. It'd all work out in the end.

The End.
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