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(submitted in 2/99, for submission to a P:TL zine that did not happen. Rated R.) For Need Of The Darkside, The Light Will Not Shine As Brightly. Philip stood in front of the Arch Bishop's Desk. "Your Excellency? I'm ready." The Arch Bishop had been dreading this moment since he had heard the vivacious young Priest had asked for his release papers. "Yes, my son, I know. Are you sure this is what you really want? To leave your calling, to become a normal man again, to leave all you have known for almost ten years now?" He pulled the papers out of his desk, and laid then in front of Philip. "Yes, sir, it is wha' I wan', wha' I need ta do." Philip bent over, and looked over the papers. //If I told you, you would hate me, and I don't want that. Besides, you're better off not knowing about it, it's safer, trust me.// He picked up a pen, but the Arch Bishop's hand on his wrist stopped him from signing. "Why do you want and need this Father Philip? Tell me, maybe there is another way." He looked kindly at the young man. "It would be a shame to lose one of our best, and most caring, priests if we didn't have to. Make me understand your decision." "Father, I canno' tell you. I made a promise, but it is for a goo' reason. I'm leaving ta help someone in their darkest hours." Philip smiled at the older man. "And I'll miss you too, Father. Our friendship has been one of the mos' importan' in my life. I'll miss it when I'm no longer here." "Then you're leaving the area? Not going to work with your friends on the island?" He released Philip's wrist, letting the man sign his calling away. Philip signed the forms and handed them back. "No, sir, I'm no'. They canno' help me in this. And even if they could, they wouldn'." Philip stood tall. "Is there anything further I have ta do?" The Arch Bishop looked at the signature and sighed, sadly. "No, my son. Your things are in the hall, waiting on you. We have your collars and vestment robes. You have the presents from the parish with you?" Philip nodded, making himself not cry in front of his friend. "Good. We'll miss you Philip. I'll hold these for the thirty days that I must, but I know you're too stubborn to change your mind about this." He stood up to walk around the desk and enfolded Philip in a tight hug. "Go in peace, my son," he whispered into the younger man's ear. Philip hugged him back, not able to speak. He didn't want to cry, wouldn't cry. It was a worthy reason he was leaving. He would be sad, would miss his life and his friends, but he couldn't go back. He let the Arch Bishop go, stepping back. He gave his friend one last smile before leaving the office, and his life, behind. %%%% Nick bounced into the control room. "Hey, did you hear? Philip's coming over today after lunch." He sat down beside Alex, who laughed and smiled. "It's about time we see our long lost brother here." She pulled Nick into a quick hug, letting him go after Kristen cleared her throat. "Philip? As in Callahan? As in the sometimes rogue priest and occasional member of this house, even when it breaks the rules, Philip Callahan?" "Yes," Alex told her. She turned around to face the newest member of their house. "He's been back for almost two months, but he hasn't come out to see us yet. Why? Have you met him?" "No. I've heard things about him while in Boston. They used to talk about you guys a lot there." She smiled at the two researchers. "Jane wasn't very nice about your ... 'antics' as she put it. Said this house was going to be the ruin of all of them, and your resident priest wasn't doing his job to train you three right." She smiled to take the sting away. Nick laughed. "Sounds jealous to me." He typed in a command, letting a monitor show the outside of the house. "There, now we'll know when he gets here." Derek walked through the hologram. "Kristen, I just got a call from your brother, he wants to see you in town right away. He said it was about some kid that needed your help." He handed over the message before walking behind the computer station to check on Nick and Alex's work. "And how is our work coming?" He patted Alex and Nick's shoulders, leaving the hands afterwards. "I see you've already heard about our guest coming." "Well, guys, it looks like I won't be here when he comes. Tell him I said 'hi'." Kristen walked out of the room. "Yes, Nick told us." She turned to watch Kristen leave the house. "She," Alex pointed at the screen as Kristen drove by the camera, "told us about what the Boston house used to say about us. Did you know that we were 'going to bring down all the other houses because of our antics'?" Nick laughed, startling the two others. "Yeah, but we have more cases done, more fun doing them, and less property damage as a result. The New York house has been rebuilt five times in the last twenty years." He turned to face Derek. "We've only had to have some remodeling done. Our house is the oldest standing, original building in the Legacy." He shrugged and turned back to his monitor. "Wow, Nick, where'd you hear that?" Alex laid a hand on his arm. "I've never seen that anywhere." Nick shrugged. "I just picked it up at the last Legacy conference. Some old British sounding guy was bragging about how his house was still standing after their last case, and Sloan told him that to shut him up." He turned to look at Derek. "He even sounded proud of us for it." "I'll bet he was, Nick, I'll bet he was." Derek smiled at his two younger colleagues. "Sloan told me once that 'smiling at the thorn in your side makes it hurt less'." He walked out of the control room whistling softly under his breath. When he was gone, Nick and Alex collapsed into giggles. They rolled around on the floor, letting the silliness out. Alex was the first one up, getting back into her chair. "Oh, that was priceless. Absolutely priceless." She giggled again. "I can just hear Sloan telling Derek that over one of those lunches that they attend every year." She wiped her eyes. Nick pulled himself back up, letting himself fall into his seat. He smiled at Alex, letting her know he agreed. "Back to work now, before he has to come and smile at us some more," he said. Alex ran out of the room, holding her sides. Nick laughed and got back to work, checking the monitors every few minutes. %%%% Philip stood outside the castle's front door. He took a deep breath, centering himself before raising a hand to knock. The door opened under his hand, and he was pulled inside by Alex and Nick. "Philip." Alex hugged him, then handed him over to Nick for another. "Are you back for a long time, or just a visit of a few days?" "Neither, I'm afraid. I jus' came out ta tell you good-bye." He put a hand around Nick's shoulder. "I couldn' leave without seeing you three one las' time." He let Nick lead him into the living room. He sat in a chair, facing the couch they were sitting on. "Philip, you're making it sound so ... final. Is something wrong?" "Yeah, buddy, let us help if you need it. After all, who's going to teach me how to cheat as soccer if you're gone." Nick smiled at Philip, who returned it weakly. Nick stood up to pace. "You can't leave us, you really can't. At least not for good." Derek walked into the room, pulling Philip up into a hug. "I'm glad to see you, my friend." He let him sit down again, taking Nick's spot on the couch. "Now, why are you leaving us?" "I have ta go ta somebody tha' needs me. I probably won' be back this way for a long time." He didn't hang his head like he wanted to, instead he looked Derek straight in the eyes. //Can't tell them why I have to go, they'll stop me.// "I came by ta say good-bye before I lef'." "Philip, is something wrong with your family," Alex asked. "No. They're fine. Why?" He sat back, trying to look casual, but knowing the three people in this room knew him better than anybody, and could tell he was upset over his non-choice. "Then why are you leaving the order?" Derek leaned forward, trying to touch Philip's leg, but it was pulled back when Philip sat up. "Excuse me?" Nick stood in front of Philip, making him sit up to look at him. "You're leaving the Church? For good?" Nick sat on the coffee table in front of Philip, shocked. "Yes, Nick, I'm no longer a going ta be a priest in thirty days from today when my paperwork goes in." Philip hung his head. //I didn't want you to know about that, it'll just hurt you more.// "It's importan' ta me. Tha' imprortan'." He looked back at Nick, his eyes begging for understanding. //Please don't ask, I can't tell you. I don't want you hurt over this.// "Is it *that* important? Important enough to throw your life away on? To throw everything that you've ever wanted away so you can do this?" Nick took his hands, but when Philip nodded, he let them go and stormed out of the room. "I ... I have to go do ... something," he threw over his shoulder. Philip wanted to run after Nick, explain it to him, tell him he wasn't leaving him alone again, assure him that his 'brother' would always be around for him, but he knew he couldn't. "I didn' wan' ta hur' him," he whispered. Alex walked out after Nick, going to calm him down and bring him back. Derek got up and started to pace. "Philip, we're friends, aren't we?" Philip nodded slightly. "So you would tell me if this was something that you needed our help with, right?" Derek saw the hesitation in Philip before he nodded again. He had thought it might be something that Philip didn't want to bother them with, but now he knew. He sat down on the coffee table, mirroring Nick's earlier pose. "So tell me, make me understand why you're leaving your life behind to do this." He took Philip's hands in his, holding them clasped between his. "We all need to understand this." Nick and Alex walked back into the room, sitting together on the couch. Nobody mentioned the tear stains on Nick's face, or the helpless look in his eyes. Nobody wanted to bring the lost looking man out of wherever he was lost, afraid of what would come back with him this time. "Philip," Alex began, again, "is this something that *you* have to do? Alone? Not something that we can help you with?" "No. It's something tha' I have ta do by myself and if you're there it would only hurt you more." He leaned over and kissed Derek on the cheek. He stood up, walking over to Alex, kissing her cheek also. Nick shook himself and stood. "Walk me ou'?" Nick nodded and they left the house together. Nick looked at the rental car Philip was driving. He leaned against the driver's door, not letting Philip get past him. "Explain it to me," he said. "I can', Nick. I... I ... jus' can'." //Please don't make this any harder. I can't take losing you, but I have to. I have to do this to protect you.// Philip tried to move him, but Nick was going to be stubborn. He pulled Nick into a hug. "You're like my brother, and I love you, bu' you can' help me with this," he whispered into Nick's ear. "I'm a big boy, and I can take care of myself now. I don' need you ta come rescue me this time." He pulled back to look in Nick's eyes. "Trust me this one time, please Nick." Nick didn't move from the door, but he did hug Philip back. When Philip asked for his trust, he knew he would give it. He wouldn't like it, and he would track Philip if he could, being ready to step in and save him if he needed. "Okay, but you still have to explain to me why this is so important that you're leaving the church for it." He still didn't budge, Philip wouldn't get out of there without giving him some answers. "I can', Nick, I really can' tell you." Philip sighed and leaned on the car next to Nick, facing away from Derek and Alex at the windows. "I have ta help someone who needs me, and I have ta do it alone. I promised them I wouldn' tell anyone wha's going on, so I can' tell you." His shoulders slumped. //Not the whole truth, but not really a lie. It is getting so easy to do this. Too easy.// "Don' make me break a promise, Nick, please." "I don't want you to break a promise, I want you to make me understand why this is more important than the calling you knew you had when you were ten. Why it's more important than the house, and your life, and all of us, me. Tell me, make me understand what is so strong that it could break our friendship." Nick swore to himself that he wasn't going to cry, he wouldn't use that to hurt Philip any more than he already was. "I *need* to know," he whispered, "what's so important that you'd break your promise not to leave me like you did the last time." Philip turned his head, looking sharply at Nick. //Oh, God, I forgot about that.// "I wouldn' be if I didn' have ta, Nick. I don' wan' ta go. I don' wan' ta leave the house, or you and Alex and Derek. But I have ta. If I don' go, then someone I care abou' will be hur' very badly." //Damn, no, shouldn't have said that. Too close to the truth.// "Jus' let me go, Nick, and I'll explain it ta you when it's over." Nick heard him, heard the pain, and knew that Philip was doing something to protect the house, but also knew that he couldn't stop him from it. "I want to come. I want to help you help whomever this is that needs you. I won't let you go into a dangerous situation without help." He turned to stare into Philip's eyes. "Friends, and brothers, don't do that to each other." Alex walked out carrying a bag, handed it to Nick, and walked back inside, leaving them alone to fight it out. She knew what Nick would do, had told Derek what would happen, and had packed it for him. She even remembered his wallet and car keys in the front pouch. Nick took the pack, knowing that Alex knew him and what he would need. He hefted it, hearing the sound of his keys jingle, and felt the shifting weight of his gun. "Come on, we'll take the 'stang. It rides better." He pulled Philip towards the garage, bringing the keys out on the way. "Nick, I'm sorry, but you can' come with me. I have ta do this alone." Philip tried to pull away, but the ex-seal had too firm a grip on his arm. "Then I'll wait in the car while you do whatever. Don't argue. We'll get your stuff on the way out." He shoved Philip into the car, pushing the child-proof lock button down. He had gotten it to safe guard Kat, but it would have another use now. He got in the driver's seat and started the car. He let it warm up, not listening to Philip, and pulled around beside the rental. "Keys." He held out his hand. Philip was muttering about Nick's background under his breath. "Here. How will it get back?" "Alex." He got out to get Philip's things from the trunk. He loaded them into his car, then laid the keys on the roof of the rental vehicle. He got back in, listening to Philip swear in French. "I can understand that now, so watch it." He smiled at Philip. "Where to?" "No, Nick. Le' me out." He tried the door handle. "Wha' happened? It's no' working." He tried it again. "Nick, come on, le' me out." //I won't panic, I won't panic, I won't panic and tell him about her.// "No. Where to? And stop it before you break it. It's a child-proof lock, it can't be opened from inside the car and that window is broken." Nick was calm, driving out of the grounds and to the ferry dock. He parked the car, waiting for it to show up. "Where are we heading once we hit the city?" He would stay calm, would ignore the hurt look on Philip's face, would not let the guilt get to him. "North." Philip slumped into his seat. //Why is he so stubborn. I tried to tell him no, but he won't listen. He's treating me like a child. I love him for it, but it's aggravating sometimes.// He closed his eyes, not letting Nick see the happiness in them. %%%% Derek watched Nick load Philip's things into the car. He felt Alex come back in and watch them with him. They had shared the same vision when Philip had called to set a time to come out: Philip standing over Nick with a knife, Nick shooting at something, a woman giving her infant to someone. They knew it would work out, neither foresaw a death, but they were worried anyway. "It'll be all right. Won't it, Derek?" Derek didn't answer, he couldn't lie to her. %%%% Nick pulled up outside the address Philip had given him and turned off the car. "Okay, we're here, now what?" He turned in the seat to look at Philip. Philip had his eyes closed, leaning back. If you didn't know him, you'd think he was relaxed, maybe even asleep, but they both knew that he was really tense and on edge about this. "Now, you get out and stay here while I go fix this situation for them." He opened one eye and rolled his head to look at Nick. "And I mean it. You. Stay. Here." "Not gonna happen and you know it. Now give and lets go." He relaxed into the leather, letting Philip know he could be just as stubborn as any Irish Priest could. "Tell me now. We're here, away from the house, it can't hurt anybody, and if you don't I'm going to start being mean about it." Nick smiled one of those 'evil, I'm-going-to-do-unspeakable-things-to-your-remains smiles. "Now give. Before I let your worst nightmare happen." "Wha', you're going ta turn me inta a soccer ball and use me for prac'ice?" Nick laughed. "No, there are worse things than being turned into a soccer ball and used for practice." He grabbed Philip's chin gently. "You forget how long we've known each other. I know your worst weaknesses, and am not ashamed to use them at this time." He kissed Philip on the cheek and let him go. "Now tell me, explain to me what is important enough that you have to leave your life behind to do it. And I want the truth." Philip's eyes got bright from the tears he refused to shed. "I told you I can' tell you wha's going on, Nick. Just let me do it." He didn't turn away, so he couldn't miss the look come over Nick's face. "No," was all he said, with a disappointed look in his eyes and a sad smile as he released his seat-belt and reached for Philip. He grabbed the priest's hands with one of his, and with the other tickled him until he was squirming and ready to talk. "Nick.... no.....please stop it.....It hur's... please Nick....anything jus' stop it.... please... I can' tell ya....jus' stop Nick.....No...nonono...." Philip was gasping for breath, trying to talk and laugh and cry and not double over in cramps at the same time. They were thrashing around in the car, but Nick gained the upper hand by sitting on Philip's' legs to hold him still. "Tell me, or it'll get worse," he threatened. He started tickling with harder and deeper pokes. Philip was gasping for breath, the tears running freely down his face. "This ...... is .... no' fair,..... Nick, .... let me ..... go!" Nick didn't say anything, but Philip knew he could stop it. He relaxed into Nick's touch, letting him think he had won, but in truth he was working a hand free. //Damn, he's strong. He never used to be able to do this to me.// A particularly fierce tickle was administered to his chest, and he started to struggle again. He did the only thing he could think of to stop it, he kissed Nick, trying to shock the younger man into letting him go. Nick smiled under Philip's mouth. He deepened the kiss, letting Philip delve into his mouth, fighting just as fierce a battle of possession with their tongues as they had a minute earlier with their hands. The kiss broke down into smaller pecks, getting smoother and smoother as they tapered off until they weren't touching anymore. Nick stopped long enough for him to catch his breath. "Not good enough. Tell me what's going on, or it'll get worse." He hadn't let Philip's wrists go, so he was rubbing a thumb across the sensitive flesh of his wrists even as he was letting Philip relax. "Two minutes." "Nick .... I can' tell you abou' it, I promised them." "There's a good place to start, whose this 'them' you're talking about?" He leaned over to lay his head on Philip's shoulder. "If you don't tell me, I can't help you beat this thing," he whispered into Philip's ear. "And I know you don't want to do this alone, so tell me, let me make it all better. Let me be there for you this time, let me in, Philip." Philip turned his head slightly, hugging the younger man cheek to cheek. "If I coul', then I woul' have already, but I can'. I won' let this thing hur' you. I can' let that happen to you," he pushed his head over in a squeeze to Nick's head. "You're too importan' to me." "Am I?" he whispered. Philip nodded. "We aren't there yet, are we?" Philip shook his head. Nick let his hands go, "So tell me where I'm going to." He reluctantly released his friend, not asking about the kissing, but not wiping the extra wetness off his lips, letting Philip see that he hadn't been adverse to the kisses. "Out of the city, towards the state line. A little town abou' five hours away. We need to be there by tomorrow night." Philip sighed and leaned over to Nick's side of the car after he had gotten back in his seat. "I'm sorry abou' tha'." "What? The kisses?" Philip nodded his head. Nick smiled, a beautiful, peaceful smile lighting up the car. "Not a problem. I've wanted to do that for years." He started the car and pulled back into traffic, Philip not saying a word. %%%% Nick pulled into a little motel off the interstate. He got out and checked them in before coming back to release Philip from the car. Nick opened the door, standing in the opening so Philip couldn't get away from him. "Bad news, Philip, they only have one single room left." "Single room?" "Room with only one bed." He smiled at the shocked look on his best friends face. "Don't worry, I don't cuddle in the middle of the night, and you don't have vows anymore." He held out a hand, helping Philip out of the car. He led the way to the room and opened the door, letting Philip enter first. Philip looked around the room, taking in the large king size bed, the cheap furniture, the door that must lead to the bathroom. "Oh, my," he whispered. "Nick," he turned to face his friend that was locking the door, "we can' stay here." "Yes, we can, Philip. Don't worry about it. If you're that scared of sharing the bed with me, I'll sleep on the floor, okay?" Philip bit his lip and nodded. Nick took him in his arms, cuddling him against his chest. "Don't worry, I don't bite, that's Alex." He smiled into Philip's hair. "Or didn't you hear about that." Philip shivered from the air on the back of his neck, but he didn't step away. "No, wha' happened?" "Well, you see, Alex was ...." Nick told him the story about Alex almost turning into a vampire, easing him into the room and into a chair. "So Derek and I saved her, blowing up that community and saving the city once again. And this time all before breakfast." Philip was laughing at the story. He could just see Derek asking Nick whether or not he remembered how to use the explosive; he could picture Nick hanging by his wrists, telling Alex she owed him a nice present for this. He could see it happening, just like Nick had said. "Oh, tha's a goo' one, Nick. I never imagined something like tha' happening. Oh, poor Alex." he sighed, letting the laughter fade away. He sat back, studying his friend. "I feel bett'r now, thanks." He smiled at Nick, who gave one back. "I'm glad. Now you can hold it over her head when you come back after this is all done." He looked hard at Philip, who had turned gray. "You aren't coming back, are you." The statement rang in the air, neither wanting to talk about it. Philip let his head fall forward. //Nick, I always thought you were the pessimist of us two. How can I tell you what will happen, what I have to do? You'll hate me, send me away and go back home. That might be for the better, but I *want* to spend time with you before I change over, I need to bring us to a comfortable closure so you won't hate me in ten years when this stops hurting. How can I do this to you for *him*?// "Nick..." "How about some food? The manager said there was a little family run restaurant down the road about a mile, we could go there, or the fast food places we saw a few miles back. Which would you like?" Nick was fidgeting on the bed, sorry now that he had mentioned the topic. "Nick, si' still, we have to talk," Philip said quietly. Nick sat still and looked at his friend. "I was right, you aren't coming back." "No, Nick, I won' be able to. Derek would have ta do something very bad to me if I tried." Philip sighed. "I can' tell you, but know tha' I'm protec'in' the house and my family." "Huh? Why would Derek hurt you after this?" He got up and kneeled between Philip's feet. "Tell me what's going on, please? I *need* to know, want to know, hell, I have to know." "Nick, I canno' tell you. I *promised* her tha' I wouldn' tell anyone." "Okay, so now it's a her instead of a them, right?" Philip nodded reluctantly. "So, is she in trouble, or are you blocking trouble from getting to her." "Neither, but both." He got up and went into the bathroom, knowing he was hiding. Nick let him go, knowing the retreat for what it was. He could get the rest of the story out of him later. Philip slumped to the floor, leaning his back against the door. He made himself take a few deep breaths, calming the panic. //Oh, God, I nearly told him. I love him, and I nearly destroyed his life by telling him.// He banged his head against the door. He could hear Nick's question, but didn't want to answer. "Philip, are you all right?" was yelled from the other room. //Depends. Physically or mentally?// "Yeah," was the tired sounding reply. //Physically, I've never been better. I'm healthy, my fondest dream happened today. Nick kissed me// "Why?" he whispered. "Was it jus' a way to make me tell 'im? Or did he wan' it like I did?" //Please let it be real for him.// He laid his head on his upraised knees. //But if it's real for him, it'll hurt him terribly tomorrow. Why couldn't this have happened years, months, weeks ago? Why today? Is this some sort of sign saying I shouldn't do this?// "God, I know I lef' my calling, but I nee' some guidance. I'm so confused." The prayer came out quietly. He didn't know if it would be heard, but he needed some help with this. He sighed, pushing himself off the floor. He brushed his face and opened the door, walking into Nick's chest. "Hmm?!?" He looked into the concerned eyes of the man he thought of as his brother. "Oh, hi." He tried to move away, but Nick's arms came up to hold him. "Sshh." Nick kissed Philip's forehead. "Tell me and I'll help. I promise I won't let either of us get hurt." He pulled Philip to the bed, laying him down and curling up beside him. "Let me help, love, tell me so I can fix it," he murmured into Philip's ear. "Nick, I can'," he sighed. "An' we shouldn' do anythin' more." Nick moved Philip's head, letting him nuzzle the sensitive area behind his ear. Nick licked the tender spot, blowing hot breath across the area to make the older man shiver. "Yes you can. All you have to do is let go, trust me with this. Let me be the big protective partner here." Nick nibbled on the earlobe, sucking it lightly. Philip pulled away, rolling over to face his best friend. "Why are ya doin' this, Nick? Are ya doin' this for me ta tell ya what's goin' on?" He felt Nick's hand slide under him to caress his back. "Or do ya wan' this?" Nick smiled, putting Philip's fears to rest. Her kissed the willing mouth, showing Philip without words why he was doing this. "I've loved you since the incident with Anna. Your self-torture over her cruelty touched the protective part of me, but you crying in my arms touched my heart." A long, slow, deep kiss, meant to explore the new found areas with tenderness. "When you left, I broke. You hurt me so much; I was so angry. Alex tried to put me back together, but all the pieces didn't fit." Nick laid his head against Philip's chest. "She tried really hard, but I was never the same. Until Julia came along and showed me how to start healing." Nick sighed, letting the tears flow, grieving for the empty spot in his life. "When she died, I was still so angry; at you, at the Legacy, at the house. I took it out on you and Derek, him mostly." Nick looked up, gazing into the bright eyes of the only person he would ever trust with his full heart. "That day, the one in the workshop, I didn't mean those things. I was lashing out, trying to punish you for something that was my fault." A tender kiss. "You don't know this, but right after you took the sepulcher, I went to the gym and tried *so* hard to hurt myself for saying those things to you." He buried his head in Philip's neck, trying to hide the pain from his love. "Oh, Nick." Philip pulled him in tighter, rocking him until he calmed and the tears stopped. "Love, sshh, I'm here, and you're safe. I won't leave you again if I can help it. Sshh, love." //Oh, no, now I have to tell him. I *have* to leave him, and he'll be destroyed this time. Nobody will be able to put the pieces of his soul back right.// Nick calmed under the soothing words, regaining his control. "You asked me if I wanted this, or was it just to get you to tell me what's going on." He looked back into Philip's eyes, a small smile reappearing. "I want this, you. Hell, I want us. But," the smile got wider, "if you suddenly become talkative, I'll listen." Philip stared at him for a minute before laughing. Nick giggled with him, rolling them over until Philip was on top. He waited until the laughter softened before kissing the former priest. He swiped his tongue briefly along Philip's before releasing him. Philip started laughing again, harder after Nick frowned at him. "What?" Nick gave him a dirty look. "I... I slep' with Anna ta prove ta myself... that I was normal." He stopped long enough to catch his breath. "Oh, we shoulda ta'lk'd abou' this. Nick," he took the younger man's hands, "I slep' with Anna ta prove ta myself that I was a normal man who couldn' poss'bly be in love with his bes' friend." He laid a tender, chaste kiss on his beloved's lips. Nick's hands came up to cover Philip's. "You mean you allowed yourself to be seduced? To prove you weren't feeling things for me?" "Almos'. I ... I did love 'er, or at leas' I though' I did. I was destroyed by guil' when she drowned herself. Tha' was real. Only the reason I opened myself ta her seduction was differ'ren'." He kissed Nick again. "Love, I've wanted you since the firs' time ya wen' off somewhere, half-cocked, ta protect all of us. I love your overprotective side." He kissed the edible tip of Nick's nose. Nick laughed, a full bodied-side grabbing laugh, and hugged Philip to him tightly. "You love my over-protective side? Really?" A small kiss. "Then I'll just have to protect you more often." Nick plunged into Philip's mouth, exploring the tastes of his loved one. Philip pulled away, or tried to, but Nick's lust was stronger. They rolled back to their sides, caressing the body next to them. A knock sounded at the door. "Mr... Mr. Boyle, sir, I have a message for you, sir." Nick groaned, a hand coming up to cover his face. "Coming." He pushed himself up with a chaste kiss to Philip's cheek, and went to answer the door. "Yeah," he said, pulling it open. The other person handed him a paper and left. Nick looked at the slip of paper, then blew out a hard breath. He grabbed his jacket, patting down the pockets. Philip handed him the phone from the bedside table and rolled onto his back, watching his world crash around him. "Yeah, bossman, you yelled?" A long pause, every long. "Are you sure that's who it was?" A short pause. "Okay, yeah, I will, thanks." Nick pushed the 'off' button very slowly, each movement careful and controlled. He turned to look at Philip, all traces of the last hour gone. "Philip, would you like to tell me why Victor Arkadi called the house, looking for you?" "Oh, God," Philip whispered. He rolled onto his stomach. //I can't tell him now, it would kill him. But I have to tell him, even if he does hate me. Besides, I can't lie to him.// He shifted slightly, getting comfortable for the ordeal ahead. //If Victor called the house, then I can tell him. He already knows enough to be in danger. I love him, but I can't do this to him without telling him something. I can't follow through, knowing that after tomorrow night he won't want me. This'll kill everything he ever loved about me.// "But maybe that's for the best," he whispered, making his decision. "Nick?" "Yeah, I'm still here." He was sitting in the chair next to the bed. "Do ya wan' ta know now, or after supper?" He was trying to buy some time, but he could see by Nick's frown that it wasn't working. Philip rolled onto his side so he could face Nick. // Not that much has changed in the last day; this feels like confession.// "Philip, to be honest, I don't think I could eat right now if I was force fed." "Would ya rather I..." "Just tell me already!" "Okay." Philip stopped to gather his thoughts. "Mr. Arkadi came ta see me a few months ago. He pulled me out of the church, makin' me walk with 'im." Philip's accent was getting thicker as he got more nervous. "I tol' 'im I didn' wan' ta talk ta 'im, but he ins'ted." Nick broke into the recitation. "Calm down, Philip." He started to reach a hand over but pulled it back before touching him. "Slowly and with less accent please. I can't understand what you're saying." Philip calmed himself, sat up, and looked at Nick. "He told me a story. About tha' blonde Derek was dating abou' a year ago." "I remember her. A Doctor of some sort, right?" "She's a Doctor of Sociology, yes, and she's Victor's half-sister." "Oh, shit!" Nick got up to pace. "Does Derek know? Did she do something to him?" He stopped in front of Philip. "Why did he tell you?" "No, he still doesn' know who she is. Yes, she did somethin' to him. An' I'm involved because it takes a man of deep faith to stop wha' she has planned." "So, Victor Arkadi, arch-enemy number one of the Legacy, and especially our house, comes to you to stop his half-sister. Great, just great. This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?" "Yes, Nick, it does." He pulled his feet up under him and sat up. "Derek's a father and his son's being offered to the dark side for training." Nick stood there, mouth opening and closing; doing his trout impersonation. "I need a drink." He grabbed his wallet and keys, leaving Philip in the room. %%%% Nick slammed the door on his mustang and walked into the bar. "Keys," the bartender held out a hand until he got them. "Is it that obvious?" The bartender nodded. "Beer please. Guinness or a good stout if you've got it." He slumped onto a stool and the bartender handed him the first beer of the evening, and a glass. %%%% Philip finished the letter he was writing, laying it on the pillow. He looked around the room, memorizing every moment for recall later before picking up his jacket and opening the door. He turned one last time, whispering, "Bye Nick" and walked out into the uncomfortable presence waiting in the car. "Do ya know where he is?" "Yes, Father, and we'll get you things on the way." Victor Arkadi nodded, and his driver started the car, pulling Philip away from the only real love in his life. The car pulled up beside Nick's and the driver got out, going inside the bar. He motioned the bartender over. "Hey, do me a favor?" "Sure, what?" "See that guy?" He pointed to Nick and laid a large bill on the bar. "I'm buying him a bottle of Gliddenfich, or if you don't have that, a good Irish Whiskey." "Okay... Is there a message attached?" He pulled out a bottle for approval. The driver nodded at the bottle. "No, no message. He just needs it. His lover's leaving him." "She must be pretty special for him to be like this." The bartender tried to give back the change, but the driver waved him off. "You have no idea." He slid a piece of paper to the bartender. "Here's where he's staying, make sure he gets there, okay?" He turned and left without waiting for an answer. "Man," the bartender said as he put the bottle beside Nick, "this is your lucky night. The owner said this one's free. Said he 'feels your pain'." "Thanks." Nick poured some into his ale. The driver approached the Mustang, pulling something out of his pocket. He kneeled in front of the door, letting himself in. He grabbed Philip's things, transferring them to Arkadi's trunk. He went back one last time to re-lock the door. When he climbed back in, he turned to Arkadi. "Home, Sir?" "Please. Sit back and relax, Philip, you're safe here." He gave Philip the smile of a man who had just been given almost everything he had ever wanted on a platinum platter by the most gorgeous slave in the world. When they got to Arkadi's temporary residence, the driver showed Philip to his room. "Here you are, Father. Rest, relax, and prepare. You have until sundown tomorrow." He set Philip's things down and closed the door behind him, leaving him alone to contemplate the future. %%%% Nick stumbled into the motel room, flipping on the overhead light on the second try. "Philip?" When he heard no answer, he checked around the room. //NO! He left me! Again! He promised he wouldn't, hepromisedhepromeisedhepromised. Nonononononononono!// He sat on the bed, laying a hand on the letter. //He wrote me a 'Dear John' letter? But my name's not John.// Nick burst out in laughter, the alcohol still having control of him. He fumbled it open, moving closer and farther away until the words came into focus. He read it once, then read it out loud, trying to make it make sense. Nick //That's me.// I've left, but I'm not abandoning you. //Yeah, sure you're not. That's why you're not here right now where you belong.// I've explained everything on the other pages. Forgive me eventually, and don't think about me too much, or you'll just get more mad. Nick separated the pages, leaving his note on his chest. Arkadi's half-sister seduced Derek, the Doctor of Sociology I told you about, knowing what she wanted. She blocked him, or drugged him one night - he wasn't clear on that part - so she could get pregnant. She dumped him after she was sure it took. Now she's offering the child to the demon who controls/protects Arkadi. If she does, and he lives, the boy will come back to ruin the Legacy, starting with our (scratched out) - your house, before going after Arkadi himself. He's asked me to step in to save the child, mostly out of self-interest, but I can't let him go over. I can stop this, and will, by myself with an alternate offering. //Oh, hell, no he won't offer himself up, I'll kill him if he does. That is so like him, throwing himself, and us, away because someone asked him too. And this time, it's not even a *good* someone.// Nick, I love you totally and wholly. I want you to go home, but I know you won't, so I won't ask. //Didn't you?// I will ask that you remember me in your heart, but forget me in your head. If the timing had been different, I know we would be together right now instead of you drunk and me preparing to change sides. That's why you can't come for me, or try to stop it. I couldn't bear to hurt you any farther. Arkadi promised to leave the child alone, letting it go to a private orphanage, one for the unwanted children of rich people. He said he'd set up a trust fund for him, but wouldn't ever go near him. He said he's his father's son too much for him to take an interest. He also gave me a blood oath to leave the house alone. He said he wouldn't hurt you, or the others, again. I know you can't trust this, but a blood oath is a powerful thing, and I believed him when he did the ritual. He even promised me to not hurt you if you found us before we stopped her. He said he'd only knock you out, but not hurt you any further. I don't want you hurt, so Nick, don't try to find me, rescue me. I love your protective side, but not this time. You will only get hurt if you try to interfere. I know I don't deserve it, but trust me on this. I won't suffer for long, but we can't be together after tomorrow night. I can't drag you with me into the dark, and couldn't stand it if you shattered again if I didn't make it over. Go home love, and good-bye, Philip. //Son of a ... Not a chance! He doesn't know me very well if he thinks I'll forget about him and go home just to be *safe*.// He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number from memory. //I'm not letting you go, Philip, you'll never get rid of me for doing something like this. I'd follow you over first.// "Alex?" (Nick! Where are you? What's going on? Are you in trouble yet?) "I'm fine, but Philip's gone. He.... he left me a... a letter." He started to break up, giving way to the emotions trying to come out. "Oh, Alex, what am I going to do?" (Nick, calm down, okay?) Nick nodded, then realized Alex couldn't see him. "Yeah. I'm calmer now." (Okay, now fax the letter to me.) "Can't. Car's not here." (hiccup, belch) "It's in front of the bar." (sniffle) "Why now, Alex. He loves me, told me so himself, we kissed, a couple of times even, so why now of all times?" (Nick, have you been drinking?) "Yeah." (burp). "Sorry 'bout that." (No problem. Okay, read it to me.) "But it's got personal stuff in it." //Don't want to share him, not even with the others in the house or you.// (Just tell me the important stuff!) Nick knew she was getting frustrated. "Just come and help me, Alex. We have until tomorrow night to stop him from doing the stupidest thing in his life, and mine." (sniffle, soft moan) "Alex?" (Yeah, Nick, we're on the way.) "Alex," he whispered, "he's going to turn over to save us. I can't let him go, ican'tican't.... Alex? Help me?" (Oh, Nick, I'm so sorry that this had to happen. Don't worry, I'll get him back for you. We'll save him together. Okay?) "Thank you, sis." Nick yawned, "I mean Alex." (Nick, hang up and sleep it off. We'll be there soon, in a couple of hours. It'll be Derek and I, Kristen had to fly back to Boston for something or another at her old house.) "Yes, ma'am. See you soon." He hung up, holding the letter to his chest, and slipped into sleep. %%%% Alex hung up the phone, taking a deep breath before grabbing her robe and heading down the hall to Derek's room. She raised her hand to knock, but Derek opened the door before her fingers could hit the wood. He stood there fully dressed, looking at her robe and frowning. "I'll go get ready. Are we flying or driving?" She turned, going back to her own room. "Flying. I traced them earlier by Nick's credit card. It's too far away to drive and get there in time." Alex turned around, raising an eyebrow. "What did you tell him when you called?" "Why?" "Because he's been *drinking* and Philip left him." Derek ran a hand over his face, groaning. "Derek, he sounded like he was ready to cry. Oh, my God!" she grabbed Derek's arm, shaking him. "You *did* know they were in love! You knew, and you let it happen this way anyway." Derek got free, kissing her on the cheek. "I know I did. That's why, and how, he'll stop Philip." Derek walked past her and down the stairs. "You bastard," she whispered. "You better not let them get hurt, or you'll deal with me, and I promise to make a demon look nice, pleasant, and gentle." Alex went back into her room to get ready. %%%% Nick woke to the knocking. He groaned, getting up to shuffle to the door. He opened it to Alex, who was dangling his keys from her thumb. He grunted, opening the door further, and let her in. He started to close the door on the painful sunlight, but Derek's hand stopped him. "Nick." Derek walked past him, moving to sit in the chair. Alex handed him the keys and sat on the bed facing Derek. "Bartender gave 'em to me. Said if I was his lover and I had left him, he'd drink too." "Huh?" He sat next to Alex on the bed, pulling a pillow over to lean on. "The bartender said some guy came in, bought you a bottle, and told him your lover left you last night." "Philip maybe?" Derek asked, but Alex shook her head. Derek leaned over, touching Nick's leg. "Nick?" "Yeah?" He was looking down at the floor. Alex pulled him in for a one armed hug. "Thanks." He kissed her forehead, acting brotherly before she let him sit on his own. Nick looked around, searching for the letter. When he found it tucked under the pillow he handed it to Alex, wordlessly, slumping when she took control of it, and the situation. Alex arranged the pages, skimming the contents. She handed Nick back the short first page, watching him smooth it out and reread it. She turned her attention back to the rest of it. "Oh, my. Nick is this who I think it is?" she pointed to the first paragraph. "Yeah, the blonde Sociologist." Both of them watched Derek's color drain. Alex read the rest of the letter, going back to some parts twice. "Okay, it looks like Philip and Arkadi have a plan to interrupt whomever, or whatever, she's offering the child to, giving the demon someone else in return; and knowing Philip, it's him." She looked over at Nick, silent and slumped beside her. "I'm sorry, Nick. We'll stop him." She rubbed his arm. "Why don't you go shower while I fill in Derek" "Need to get..." He grabbed for the keys where he dropped them on the bed, but Alex got them first. "I'll get it. Now, go, you smell like a brewery." She nudged his shoulder with hers. Nick smiled, confident that Alex was in control and followed her orders. She waited until he had closed the bathroom door before folding the letter and taking it with her to get his bag out of the car. When she came back in, Derek was tapping a foot impatiently. She laid the bag in front of the bathroom and returned to perch on the bed. "So, Derek, tell me more about that wonderful, caring woman who was really interested in your Egyptian theories." Derek gave her a nasty look, holding out a hand for the letter. Alex shook her head 'no' and shoved it farther into her pocket. "Alex," he warned. "What? It's a private communication between the two of them. I'll tell you the salient parts, don't worry, but I won't betray his trust." She waited until he was done fuming and had accepted the situation. "Okay, it seems that you and she have a child, a son, together, and that Arkadi's his half-uncle or whatever you call your mother's half-brother these days. She's going to offer him up to Arkadi's protector demon, for training. Philip and Arkadi are going to stop her." "By Philip offering himself." Derek shifted, suddenly uncomfortable with the situation. "Basically." Nick opened the bathroom door, letting steam escape, and looked around for his bag. He grabbed it, and retreated to the bathroom. "Now all we have to do is find them, stop *both* groups, and bring Nick and Philip someplace to fight this out." "Alex, about them..." "No, Derek, stop right there! It is *none* of our business and we *will* stay out of it!" She stood up, towering over her Precept to intimidate him. Derek laughed mildly. "Goot try, Alex, buy you aren't mean enough. Besides, I wasn't going to interfere between them. They have a right to be happy." "I mean it Derek. If you do *anything* to come between them I *will* make your life a living hell. And you have *no* idea what I'm capable of." She walked around the room, pulling out drawers. "Ah, here it is." She pulled out a phone book, flipping to the blue pages. She wrote down something and put it back. "City Hall will be open already. Nick and I will go down and search for properties either of them might own." "Fine, I'll check out real estate agents for rentals. I doubt Victor would have bought a house here, but Michelle might have." Derek stood, stretching. "I'll take our rental, you two can use Nick's car. We'll meet here around two for lunch, all right?" "Yeah, it's not nine yet, so that should give us enough time." Alex walked over to look out the window. "Derek, I mean it. If you screw them up, you'll loose all three of us." He walked up behind her, hugging her to his chest. "I wouldn't 'screw them up' as you put it. I want to see Nick happy, desire Philip's happiness. I want all of you to find true love and understanding from the right person. That's the real job in life, to find your own happiness." He kissed her hair. "Now, if only you could find the right one..." "Derek, if I find someone, they would have to be part of the house so I don't have to choose. You know that." Alex turned in his arms. "I can't choose between the Legacy and my personal life, which doesn't exist." She kissed the cheek beside her. "But if you would somehow recruit someone for me, I wouldn't object." She pulled back, giving Derek a teasing smile. He squeezed her lightly. "All right, but only if I an be a Gotfather to your children." "I can see it now, you trying to explain why a person's being haunted to a two-year old." They spun to see Nick leaning against the bathroom door frame. "Or how about why we have to go and sprinkle water on some people so the other person in them goes away." "Nick, scare a girl, why-don't-ya." Alex laughed, slipping from her teacher's arms. "Ready to hit City Hall?" "Sure, am I driving?" "Yep. Meet you beside the 'stang." Alex went to the bathroom, trusting the men to behave. Nick watched Alex close the door behind her before walking up to Derek. He grabbed the keys off the bed, and his wallet off the night stand, and stepped closer to his precept. "Know this, break her heart and deal with me. Even if I have to come back from the dead to do it, I'll hurt you if you hurt her." He picked up his jacket on the way out the door. Derek stood, shocked. "At least they'll protect each other if something happens," he said to himself. He shrugged into his jacket and pulled the door behind him. He decided that before leaving he should head towards the office, he and Alex would need a room too. %%%% Nick climbed into his car, starting the engine. He leaned back in the seat, blowing out a deep breath, not noticing when Alex got in. "Did you want to talk for a while?" Alex laid her head on Nick's shoulder. "Yeah, but no offense, you aren't him." He closed his eyes. "I mean, one minute he's telling me he won't leave me and the next he's gone to offer himself to a demon to save Derek's son. What am I supposed to think, to believe, to.... to trust." He swatted the steering wheel, hitting the horn. "Nick, in the letter it said he wouldn't be leaving now if he could help it." He *can* help it!" Nick opened his eyes and shook her off, staring at her. "No where is it written that Philip Callahan has to throw his life away to save a child that was conceived for a dark purpose! No where is it chiseled in stone that he has to die to protect us! Why can't he let someone else do it," he whispered, seeking comfort from Alex. "Nick, he knows that, and I'm sure that if he knew some other way he would take it." She pulled him close, offering the comfort and warmth he needed. "We *will* find him and you *will* save him. We'll do it together, as a family, and we'll get him back. I promise you that we won't let him sacrifice himself." She patted the back of his head one last time before sitting him up. "I will not watch you lose someone you love again." "Thanks, Alex." He pulled himself together and backed the car out, leaving the motel behind. A series of thoughts started to run around in his head. //Sacrifice himself... I can save him... alternative offering... Philip said. Maybe if I ... Should look it up, but under what? Oops, passed City Hall, gotta park.// "Ah, Nick?" "I know. I'm looking for a parking spot." He parallel parked and shut the car off. "Let's go." He checked the traffic and got out. %%%% Derek walked into the motel's office. "Hello?" "Yes, sir, do somethin' for you?" The clerk stepped into the room. "Yes, I need to get another few nights on Mr. Boyle's room and two adjoining ones for myself and a colleague." He pulled out a credit card, shoving it across the counter. "Yes, sir." The clerk pulled out a new card, handing it to Derek while he looked for Nick's. When he found it, he ran the card through the machine, waiting for it to print a receipt and handing them both to Derek and taking the cards back. Derek handed him back the paper, getting his copy of the receipt and tucking it away in his wallet with the card. He started to turn around, but remembered why he was there. He leaned across the counter, creating an air of closeness between them. "Do you, by perchance, know where I could find a friend of mine? She's a petite blonde with an infant, a son. She would be relatively new to the area." "She's a friend of yours, you say?" The clerk leaned in, thinking about the inhabitants he knew in the small town. "Yes, Mr. Boyle and I are associates of the father of her child and he's been hurt. Not badly, but we need to find her, today if possible." He gave the clerk a smile. He didn't like lying, but he considered it necessary on occasion - this being one. "Hmm. The only woman I know that fits that description lives in a big ol' house on the edge of town." He quickly drew a map. "Jus' follow that and if that's her, you'll find her easily." He smiled and left the office with a nod. "Thank you," Derek called after him. He left, going on about his part of the mission. %%%% Alex walked up to the counter, looking around for the clerk. "Hello?" A woman stuck her head up, "Yes, may I help you?" Alex smiled her most winsome. "Yes please. I need to know any properties that either of these two are on record as owners." She picked up a piece of paper and wrote both Arkadi's and his half-sister's names on it, handing it to the woman. "I'm researching them for a private investigator who's trying to find them for an inheritance." The middle aged woman looked at it, frowning. "I haven't catalogued anything with their names recently. How far back do you need?" She peered over the top edge of her glasses, standing up, holding a messy pile of papers. "We only have the last five years in the computer so far and none of the last six months in yet." Alex leaned on the counter. "That's good. It probably would be in that frame, but could we look through the last six month's paperwork? We could do that while you run the searches." The woman beamed. "Of course." She bent back down, brining up more disorganized papers, which she laid in the pile with the first. "Sorry, but I had just dropped them before you came in." "That's okay. We can straighten them up, in order of date if that's okay, while we look through them." She motioned for Nick to help her, and they grabbed the papers, taking them over to a table, when the clerk nodded her ascent and thanks. Nick looked at each page, scanning it for pertinent names, before placing it in a pile. He separated ones he wanted to look at closer from the others, placing everything else into monthly piles. When he got through his stack, he started in sorting the month piles into order. Alex watched Nick, noticing his system. She followed it, integrating her second look pile with his and putting the sorted ones back into the folder. She walked back the papers they didn't need, taking her time to watch Nick scan each page in detail. Nick came to a page, stopping cold. He started to shake, letting Alex take the paper. //That son of a bitch! A deed for a cemetery plot. In Philip's name. // He moved his hands until they were clasped on the table. //She can't take him away from me, she can't, I won't let her! She won't kill Philip, can't kill him. I've got to stop her.// He twisted his fingers together, trying to feel the contact. //NO! I can't let this happen.// Alex looked at the paper she had taken out of Nick's fingers. She watched Nick while reading the deed; watching fear, desperation, anger, and the urge to escape flow across his expressive eyes. "Nick," she said softly. No answer, just hands wringing together. "Nick, it won't happen. You won't let it happen like that. None of us will let him die here, I promise." She grabbed his hands, calming him with her touch, giving him the contact he needed to ground him. "Come back, Nick, I can't do this alone." Nick slowly came back to reality, following the warmth that held onto him. "I... I'm here, Alex, thanks." He squeezed her hands. "Sorry about that, just spooked by it I guess." "S'okay. I understand. If I saw yours or Derek's, I would have done the same thing." She patted the strong hands that held hers. "I found some things too. Seems like there are two new trusts in my pile. Both for male children, Rayne's by last name. One's for a Philip Derek Rayne, the other for a Nicholas Victor Rayne. Both with the same birth mother, one Michele Arcandis." "Hold it, she had twins? Philip's letter only mentioned one." "Nope, one is for a yet to be born infant." Alex handed him the papers. "And I know Derek hasn't seen her since she left him." "So how..." "Artificial insemination, she said, from a husband that's gone," the clerk said, coming over to the table. "That's what I asked her too." She gave Alex a paper. "I could only find three listings on her, none on the other name. Hope it helps." Alex handed her the deed to the cemetery plot. "Do you know if there's anything else with his name on it?" "Nope, just that one. A man, tall, dark, dangerous and smooth looking, filed that one, not a week ago." She gathered up the remaining papers. "Thanks for straightening this for me." She smiled at the pair, and went back to her computer. Alex and Nick left, Nick dragging slowly behind. %%%% Derek picked up his cell phone, "Hello?" (Derek, it's Alex. We found three possible sights: two residential and one warehouse.) "Why do I feel that there's something more?" (We - Nick - found a deed to a cemetery plot in Philip's name.) Very faintly (It won't happen, I won't let it, even if I have to kill Arkadi myself to stop it.) "Oh, Got, no. Is Nick all right now?" (We're fine. Do you want us to split up and check these?) "No, meet me back at the motel.. I'll pick up some lunch and we'll plan our next move." Asides from Alex to Nick and back: (IS there anything he should get you for lunch? You didn't eat breakfast.) (I dont' want to eat, it'll waste time. We can eat on the way to the sites.) (No, Nick, we're going to sit down and plan our strategy with Derek at the motel.) (Have fun.) "Give Nick the phone, Alex," Derek ordered. He waited for a few seconds. "Nick, we all are care for Philip just as much as you do, even if we don't love him like you do. We are going to find him; together, as a team." (Yes, sir.) Nick hung up. Derek put his phone away, worrying because the young man gave in to easily to him. "At least we can follow him if we need to." %%%% Nick laid his head on the steering wheel. Alex had went into a small restaurant to get them some coffee. //I've got to find a way to stop this, him. Gotta ditch Alex, and that will make her mad, but I'll apologize when, if, we come back. Oh, well.// He smiled, reassured in his actions. //Derek always did tell me I was better at actions than at waiting,// he thought as he pulled quietly out of the parking lot, leaving her stranded. "Good bye, my friends. Be happy together and find one a way to make each other happy. I'll bring him back, or we'll both go together, but we'll be together, and therefore happy." He pulled out on to the main road, and quietly left to find his love and what may become a new life. %%%% Derek let the curtain fall in the room. He had picked up Alex almost an hour ago, and still no Nick. "I hope he finds him." Alex pressed herself against his back, needing the comfort of his touch. "He will. He wants it more than his own life right now." She hugged him hard. "He'll stop Philip's death and bring him back to us, or they'll be together. We have to trust in the strength of their love." "I know," he scrubbed at his face, weary with all the fighting. "Nick had that look before he left. They'll both turn, or ..." He didn't want to think of the other option. "They'll be together no matter what." She turned him around so she could rest in his arms. "I believe that they'll come back to us. And that ceremony that we left for him to counter it says that he has to conquer it with love. Only he can do that." "I know, but I'm still worried." He stroked her back. "But you're right, they'll come back to us." He pulled he closer, needing her strength. He looked up, whispering so softly that she couldn't hear him. "Please, Got, let them be all right." He squeezed her again and let her go, turning back to the window and the tracking monitor that he had placed on the sill. Alex brushed off her tears and grabbed her laptop to do some research. %%%% Nick pulled up in front of the town's library. //Research; gotta find a way to stop him.// He got out of the car and headed for the front desk. The two Librarians watched the young man walk up to where they sat talking. The elderly woman patted the younger man's arm and walked over to help Nick. "May I help you?" He have her a charming smile. "I hope so. I'm a grad student passing through and I need to do some last minute research on the internet real quick." He tried to give her an I'm-pitiful-and-need-major-help-feel-sorry-for-me look. She chuckled and handed him a sign-in sheet. "I need to hold a credit card and see an ID, please." He signed and dug out his wallet, handing a card over and flipping it open to show her his driver's license. "Thank you, young man." She opened a drawer, filed his card and handed him a cardboard number. "It's around the corner, in the alcove." She pointed and patted his arm. "You'll have privacy and you won't bother anyone when you mutter to yourself." She patted his arm again and walked back to her co-worker. "Thank you," he said and tapped the card a few times before going in the direction she had pointed. He rounded the corner, almost walking into the potted plant that hid the computer alcove. He pushed past the leaves to sit down in the chair, swinging it side to side while waiting for it to boot. He logged onto the internet, loading the Luna Foundation homepage. He entered his researcher's number to get into the database and initiated a search, using what Philip had told him as the parameters. He checked his mail, not reading anything but, composing a letter to adopted family. My Family: Don't laugh, Alex, all of you have become my family over the time I've been there. I will miss you all, but my love for Philip is stronger. I'm going to stop him and if I can't, I'll follow him over. I'll miss you all. Tell Derek I'll send my phone and anything else that belongs to the house back. I'll miss you all and I'll try to write, we both will. If something happens, make sure we're together. I know I can't rest beside Julia, but make sure we're together someplace nice. I love you all, Nick. He took a deep breath, hitting the send key to send it to Alex, then opened his mail. He found the ceremony she and Derek had sent to him, complete with instructions. He printed it, folding up the pages and putting them in his pocket to read later. He logged off, shutting down the computer, and headed out after getting his card back. He had the ammunition he needed now, and Philip would *not* leave him. %%%% Victor Arkadi finished casting the circle around Philip's robed and kneeling body. "Okay, Father, it's almost time." He put down the knife and sat on the floor, outside the circle. "Are you ready for this?" "Yes, I guess." Philip tugged on his robe. "Father, relax. It's for the greater good." He stood as a very pregnant woman entered. "Michelle." "What are *you* doing here?" She looked over to where Philip was. "You can't stop me, they're mine." "Isn't that for me to decide?" The voice came from a dark corner of the empty warehouse. A shimmering light came forward. "Michelle, why should I deny my favorite pet this?" "Because I offer you two children from a powerful line; a line of your enemy." She patted her stomach, and pushed the infant forward. He was bundled up, but not crying. "Here is the first one, the other is to be born any day now." Victor walked over and took the baby from her. "But, they'll still need raising; and when they're older, they may decide to switch sides." He brought him over to where Philip sat. "I offer an old enemy of you and many of your brethren. A thorn in your side for many years now. He is willing to turn to save the children, so they can make their own decisions." "Hmm, but still two children against one priest, even Father Callahan my not be worth that deal." The light drifted over to Philip. "Father, why do you do this? Why give up all those you love, your entire life, to save a child you don't know." The light/demon settled on the floor waiting. "I can' let an innocent get hur' an' I can' let either of them come back ta hur' my frien's." "So you're willing to give up true love, your family, your friends, and your calling within the Church and the Legacy to stop these children from acting in twenty or so years?" The light wavered slightly, producing a tinkling, broken glass sound. "Oh, Father, you amaze and amuse me. So be it, start the ceremony. Victor will put the children someplace safe, I'll take you instead." He waved a part of the light. "Wait!" Nick shouted. "Take me for the other child, it'll be a fair trade, and all I ask is that you never come to them again, even if they call you personally." He walked in, clothed in a brown cotton t-shirt and jeans, no shoes or anything else, carrying a lit candle, sprinkling herbs onto the flame. "Ah, true love rears it's ugly head again. Welcome, Mr. Boyle. Are you willing to give yourself to me as he will to save them from me in the future too?" "Yes." He walked over to where Philip was, glaring at Victor until he picked up the knife and cut an opening in the circle to let him in. He settled himself in a similar position to Philip's, not looking at the older man. "Make it even and take me too." "Nick, no!" Philip shouted, not able to move, the demon had frozen him in place. "Ya can' do this. Go now, please!" He started to panic, he had done this so his love wouldn't be hurt, and now here he was, offering himself beside him. "Ya can'! I don' wan' ya there with me. I wan' ya safe an' at home with the others." "Shut up, love. I told you that I would follow if you left me again." He turned to Philip, taking his face into his hands. "I *love* you. So much that I can't imagine my life without you being there. I won't live without you, so I'll follow where you lead. No matter where that may be." "Aaahh, " Victor and the demon said together. "Victor, did you plan this for me?" The demon solidified into a very handsome blond man. "I could lie, but you would know. No, I had no idea." "Hmmmm." The demon turned to watch Nick and Philip fight quietly. "It's just like they're married." He turned to look at Victor. "You know they won't make it across if they fight for each other, it's in the ceremony. Love is the only thing that can save them from me, but they know that even if they die, they'll be together, somehow." He thought for a minute. "So be it." He pointed a finger at them, making a golden rope appear around their wrists, binding their hands together. "What?!?" Both men tried to get it off, but it wouldn't budge. "That proves it, we can't bring them over." He sat down on thin air, letting it hold him up. He ran a hand through his hair, thinking quietly while watching all the parties. "Victor, come here for a minute. There's still a way, and a deal to be made." Victor walked over, slowly. "Yes, sir?" "What do you want more than anything?" "Power, wealth, the Legacy disintegrated from within." "Nothing too major." The demon smiled. "How about immortality?" "I haven't really thought about it." The demon gave him a disbelieving look. "Okay, so I have, but I was thinking about offering myself to become your apprentice with one of my last gasps." He shrugged. "I thought it would be best. Why? Are you offering it to me now?" "Well, sort of. More like your apprenticeship idea. To put it in crude layman's terms, you're going to become my bitch and I'll teach you as long as you continue to please me." He smiled, a deep and menacing one. "I would have complete control over all you do, have, say, and get." "What's the catch?" He raised an eyebrow when the demon laughed. "I know there is one." "Victor, you've heard it already. You're going to become my plaything, my sex toy if you will. Your continued existence will depend on how well you pleasure me." The demon rubbed himself, stretching his pants over his bulge. "I know it's not your thing, but I'll teach you everything. You don't have to enjoy it, and won't, I guarantee, the first few times but all you have to do is serve me physically and I'll teach you to become a minor demon." Victor thought hard. He could have the power, and whatever else he wanted. Not right now, but after a while. He *could* wait for a good cause, and this was one. He didn't like the idea of having sex with his demon, but if that's what it took... "Okay, but I want to make a plea." "What?" "That you give me some leeway for giving you pleasure until I've learned. I don't want it to end because I'm not learning fast enough, or because I haven't learned to do something yet." "That's fine. But I also have to warn you, demons are ... bigger than humans. And in the agreement it will state I can loan you out to others for favors if it'll help me get what I want." Victor took in the words, letting them sink in. "You'll heal me if I get hurt from them or you?" "If it suits me." He smiled. "Sometimes it may not. Also, you will be technically dead to humanity. Your *entire* life, and it's length, will depend on how well you give me what I want." "Fine, deal. What do I have to do to start it?" The demon laughed, "Nothing dear boy, not a thing. Let me gift the happy couple, have someone pick up her and the children to get them someplace safe, and into their father's arms, and we'll be gone. Say your good-byes." He walked over to where the two young men were back to fighting. "I won't release you until you declare to each other your love. We've been watching you, and it seems like you're already married to our humble biases." Nick looked at Philip, seeing if he knew a reason to not say it. Philip shook his head no, he didn't know any, so Nick smiled at his lover to be. "I love you." "And I you, even if ya are infuriatin' sometimes." "Hold it, I thought you loved my protective side." "Oh, I do, even now." He leaned over, planting a chaste kiss on Nick's mouth. "Good, by the powers vested in me, you're married. May you live a long happy life, and may you never darken *my* life again." The demon turned away from the shocked men. "You'll see proof of my gift to you in a while." He walked over to where Victor and Michelle were fighting. "Michelle, I'm granting one of your fondest fantasies. You always wanted to be like your brother, now you will. I've called one of my associates, one who's been watching and waiting for you to say those magical words. He's going to come and get you soon. He'll take the children to their father," he said, waiting until her scream of "NO!" quit echoing around the empty warehouse. "and you'll be his to train and love." He pulled on Victor's sleeve. "Time to go." Victor kissed his sister on the cheek and followed his new master out through the corner, disappearing together into the ether. Nick and Philip watched as The Warden popped in, and walked around the trio. "Hello again. Too bad I'm not here for you." He tried to touch them, but the shield around them sizzled. "Very much a shame." He picked up the infant, who cooed at him, and took Michelle's nerveless hand. "Shall we, my mate?" She didn't say anything, so he shrugged and made both of them disappear in a cloud of smoke. %%%% Nick and Philip sat there, wondering when Derek or Alex were going to come and release them. They couldn't do it without the knife that sat outside the circle, so were trapped. "So," Nick said turning to his lover, "do you think he meant it?" "What?" Philip said, frowning to show he was still mad at him for almost getting himself killed too. "An' tha' was stupid, riskin' yourself like tha'. I'm no' worth tha' sacrifice, you're too importan'." "Love is worth it, Father," the demon said, showing up in a shiny portal that looked very much like a mirror hanging in mid air. "He came because he knew love was one of the fundamental forces in the universe. It alone can change destinies and rule the world over it's objections. He also knew yours was one of the strongest seen in centuries, I would guess." "Release us." Philip said. "Not just yet. The Warden is still hanging around until dawn to see if he can't get you both. I couldn't let you be taken, not when your love is so strong." He smiled at Philip. "Be thankful. His love is the only thing that saved you from becoming my toy tonight. He loved you enough to let himself be used in your place, even if you died, so you wouldn't be hurt." He motioned for someone out of the picture to come over. "Victor got what he wanted, Michelle did too, as did your Derek. You two got each other, the deal is a good thing all the way around." He smiled as a naked Victor came over to lay on him. "Say hi, love, and let them see just what they narrowly missed." Victor nodded. The demon raised a hand, brushing it across the portal, making it a wider shot. Victor uncovered his master, making Nick hiss when he saw the endowment on the demon, and sat himself down, grimacing in pain as he was split by the enormous cock. "Yes, that's a good virgin." He thrust up, making Victor sob. "Sit still for another minute and it'll hurt less." Victor slumped onto the demon's chest, letting the pain wash over him. "Okay, now for your wedding presents. And yes, Mr. Boyle, I meant it. According to all we hold dear, you are married, and Hell will officially recognize it." He smiled down at his lover, stroking his back and reducing the size of his penis. "You're going to be so good to teach. Just remember that you need me to fill you at least once a week for you to continue." He looked back at Nick. "Your present is that for however much time he goes on, it will be added to both of your lives." "We don't want it or need it," Nick said, grabbing Philip's arm. "Don't bother." "Oh, but you don't understand. It won't taint you, and you can't refuse it. I'm sending someone back who will explain it to you and will get you out of trouble. Besides, it'll cause more confusion if you *don't* accept it. Father, your gift sits under your paternal Grandfather's favorite tree in a small wooden box. Two of your nieces have the same gift as you, have one of them get it if you can't. Again, it's yours, you can't refuse your heritage; and again, it'll cause more problems if you don't go dig it up." "We still don' wan' it." Philip said, straightening out. "We wan' nothing from you an' yours." "I know, that's why I'm doing this. They can *never* touch *either* of you again. If they do, it's instant destruction to any one who tries." He smiled. "You see, I'm fallen by my own choice. Heaven was boring, I wanted to be among people, to feel love again. I couldn't do that as an angel, so I fell. I'm giving you what grace I have left, and hope you take it to use for the protection of those who need it. You'll both find others like you, a few select guardians, who will fight the same battles. For now, yours are going to be with the Legacy, but not forever. When that time comes, just remember that balance is the only acceptable outcome for all. It'll switch things so that it's fair to all, even him," he waved a hand at Victor. "But that's in the future, and my emissary will be able to tell you more. Trust me on this, the Legacy will want you there, just because you're you and your love is that strong. They need it." He waved a hand and the portal closed. Nick looked at Philip, sighing. "How are we going to tell the others?" "We're no'. No' until we figure us out firs'." "Philip, I don't know about you, but I like the idea of being tied to you for forever." He smiled to take the shock off his face. "I love you. Enough to risk my life to save yours. I came tonight because I couldn't live without you if you left me, not even if you still lived." "I don'..." "Don't. I'm not asking you to feel that way about me. If you do some day, then I'll be happier, if that's possible, but I don't think so. Just having you as mine, that's what I always have wanted. You. The stubborn Irish priest that guilt-trips himself sick and does shit like this to save others. The only man to have broken my heart twice when he left me for a calling I could have no part of." He kissed Philip's lips, softly caressing them with his own. "You're all I ever wanted in life. And now you can't leave me, so I'm happy." "Nick, I love ya. I really do, but we can' do this." He took his hands, looking down at where they were entwined. "I can' do this." "Why? Because you're a priest?" Philip nodded. "But you're not anymore. No more vows. Not unless we write some together." "But wha' abou'..." "Then, if we have to leave the Legacy, we'll get a nice little house and you'll teach languages and I'll go to college and we'll be happy for how ever long we have together. We can stay near Alex and Derek if you want, and they can visit." He smiled. "How do you feel about three bedroom houses with a good kitchen, a big living room, and a library? I saw this great one the other day on the real estate show off the public access channel." Philip laughed. "You have it all figured out, don' you?" He hugged the younger man. "Tha' soun's goo' to me. As long as tha's wha' you wan'." "I have what I want in my arms." He pulled Philip close, hugging him to his side. "Nothing is more important than this." Philip blushed, unaccustomed to being told he was special, let alone being told he was the most important thing in someone's world. "If ya say so." "I do," he said and kissed his mate. "You're mine and I'm yours." He kissed him again, letting his tongue dance against Philip's. He pulled back enough to look in his eyes. "Do you think Alex will give me away if we get married at the house?" Philip laughed, hugging him tightly. "No' a chance, she's givin' me ta you." "Okay, then. It's settled." %%%% Epilogue: Nick carried Philip over the threshold of the castle. They were back from their honeymoon in Europe, Derek's present to them, and were waiting for someone to notice them being there. "Nick, Philip!" Kat yelled, coming down the hall. "We missed you, how was your trip?" She jumped into Nick's arms, hugging him and leaning over to hug Philip too. "Did you have fun?" "Yeah, kiddo we did. Where's everyone else?" He put her down, letting her take their hands and pull them into the library. Derek, Alex, Kristen, Rachel, and William Sloan sat around the big table, discussing a box that laid before them. Alex jumped up, giving each of them a hug and kiss on the cheek, pulling them to their new seats next to each other, next to Rachel's. Rachel smiled and patted their joined hands. Derek smiled, showing how happy he was to have the pair back. Kristen wasn't smiling, but she wasn't frowning anymore either. "Well, how was the trip?" William asked, looking around to see why no one else had asked. "Oh, good. We saw a few museums, some artwork and statues. We met some interesting people, and Philip stopped in to see some people he knew at the Vatican." "We," Philip added, "brough' each of ya a souvenir from each place, and they're in the car still. We loved it, thank you Derek." "Well, your honeymoon is supposed to be special and memorable," he said, glancing down at the table. "Now if only we could convince you to take one, Derek," William teased, getting dirty looks from around the table. "I'll convince you that marriage is an honorable institution yet." "Yeah, but who want's to be institutionalized," Rachel said, making everyone laugh. Philip looked at the box, translating the Summarian on it's side. "Come to bed, love," Nick whispered from behind him. "I'm waiting for you." He ran his fingers through Philip's hair on the way out, making sure he knew exactly what he meant. Philip smiled after his husband, putting the box aside and following Nick to their room. He locked the door behind him, pulling off his clothes as he walked to the bed. Nick was laying on the bed, naked, drawing little figures on the covers while he watched Philip with impatience. He held out his arms, letting his husband fill them. They kissed, passionately consuming each other with the frenzy of newlyweds. Philip pulled himself away for air, resting his head on Nick's shoulder. "Mine tonight." "Nope, not even." Nick smiled and tickled him for a few strokes. "I want you in me tonight." "Nope, mine, my firs', las', and only." "Does that mean I can't do it again?" He smiled, stoking the firm flesh over Philip's shoulders. "Not even if you like it?" "I didn' mean tha', and ya know it." He smiled, coming back up for another kiss. "This is my firs' time, and you're my las' and only lover." He kissed Nick again. "Tha' is, unless ya don' wanna be inside my body." Nick rolled them over, getting the top position. "Oh, not even close love. You're right, you're mine tonight." Nick gently made love to his husband, showing him how good even a first time could be as long as they were together. He rocked Philip gently when he cried at his release, then went on to prove their love a few times that night, each getting to connect with the other on the most fundamental levels. They fell asleep together, curled and entangled, just like their life threads were always meant to be, knowing that forever wasn't just a word, but a promise of the faith and love shared between them and all those lucky enough to be in their lives. The End. The End.
voracity is the author of 70 other stories.
This story is part of the series, Former Zine Stories. The previous story in the series is Control Issues. The next story in the series is Live Wires of the Mind. |
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